Chapter Six

I pack the paisley suitcase we have from Goodwill with its fraying threads and broken zipper. There’s more than usual because of the bulky jackets we had to get, so I pack the rest in a white trash bag. The crackers and cereal from the pantry come with us. The stuff in the fridge will have to stay here. Only fifteen minutes until the cab’s supposed to arrive.

There’s one thing left in the apartment that’s mine.

I keep it under the sink in the bathroom, next to a stained bucket that was here when we moved in. It feels like the place farthest away from us, as if I’m storing a ticking time bomb. This book is the only trace of my past. The only proof of what really happened.

It’s hard to pick it up but harder to leave it. That’s why I’ve dragged it around every place we’ve gone—a millstone. A burden. I stand, muscles protesting after a long day and a desperate run. The Bible feels like it weighs a thousand pounds.

The lights in the bathroom go out.

In the whole apartment.

A storm. It happens often enough up here, taking the whole power grid down. Except the heavy light from outside the apartment is still on, casting a faint glow through the window.

“Thought you could get away from me?” comes a low masculine voice.

Oh God. Not a storm. It’s Luca. Somehow he got away from those men. Somehow he followed me. I whirl, holding the Bible against my chest. I hate having it this close. It’s more than a bomb. It’s radioactive, toxic to anything nearby. But I can’t let him have it.

He’s only a shadow in the dark, his large frame filling the doorway.

“What are you doing here?” I manage, my voice wavery.

He laughs. “Little bird, you know why I’m here.”

“Because you want me.” He took me to save me. That’s what he said. His body betrayed the real reason. The same reason Leader Allen prayed with me.

“That’s only the beginning,” he says, his voice low with promise. “I’ve been chasing you a long time. You’ve got a lot to answer for.”

I take a step back. “Please let me go.”

“Where do you want to go?” he asks, his voice mocking. “Farther north to Denmark? To Iceland? Or maybe all the way to the Arctic.”

My heart sinks because there’s nowhere left to go. Wherever I run, he’ll find me.

Which means that Alex can find me too. Luca only cares about my body. He wants to do things to me, to sin with me. He wants divine worship with me. I’ve survived it before. I would survive it again. But if he can find me, that means Alex won’t be far behind. And what he wants is much worse. My brother wants to return me to Harmony Hills. And he wants my daughter most of all.

“Fine,” I say, my voice breaking. I toss the Bible onto the back of the toilet and reach for the hem of my shirt. I didn’t waste time changing, so I’m still wearing the Last Stop’s uniform. It comes off easy, leaving only a plain white bra underneath.

He sucks in a breath. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m going to f-f-fuck you. Then you can leave.” That’s the thing about courage; it’s a double-edged sword. It smooths the way toward doing things you never dreamed. I’ll do anything to convince him to leave us alone. I will do anything to keep my daughter safe.

His growl makes the hair on my neck stand up.

“You’re not going anywhere.” He flicks the bathroom light on, revealing the gruesome spray of blood across his face. I cry out at the gash over his eye, the long ridge of dried blood along his chest. He looks like a gladiator after a long-drawn-out battle in the arena.

And he didn’t just manage to escape. He must have killed those men. That’s the only way he could have managed to leave that parking lot. All those lives on my head.

More pain. More death. No matter how fast I run, I can’t seem to escape it.

“I don’t understand,” I whisper. “Why me?”

In the world he comes from there are a hundred beautiful women. Women who know how to wear pretty dresses and put on makeup. Women who know how to please a man as intense as Luca. Candace used to live in Harmony Hills with me. She was the first person to ever get out alive. And she turned herself into a siren, someone who could command men with a single flick of her perfectly manicured nail. She did it to prove that she could. And I…well, I can’t. I haven’t even been able to cut my long hair.

He steps close, and I’m suddenly more aware of my naked tummy, my breasts covered only by a single layer of fabric. My chest rises and falls with heavy, panicked breaths.

“You captured me, little bird.” He trails a blunt finger down my temple, lifting a long blonde lock. It looks pale and silky against his scarred fingertip. “I follow you for the same reason you run.”

I run because I’m afraid, but Luca isn’t afraid of anything.

I run because I love my daughter, but a man as hardened as Luca doesn’t know how to love. Most of all I run because my brother, Alex, chases me.

Leader Allen convinced him my daughter is the result of immaculate conception. He believes that Leader Allen never touched me in those prayer sessions. And as the holy daughter of Harmony Hills, he’s bound to bring her back to the flock—whatever’s left of it after Leader Allen died. There are bigger forces that move us, a larger hand that guides our way.

“I’ll give you anything you want, if only—”

“If only I let you keep running? If only I watch you fall right into the trap your psycho brother’s set? If only I pretend I don’t give a shit what happens to you? No, Sarah Elizabeth.”

“Beth,” I whisper.

My name in Harmony Hills was Sarah Elizabeth. Beth’s the name I chose for myself.

“Beth,” he says, voice rich with possession. “I’m going to keep you safe.”

I don’t care what happens to me. “My daughter.”

“Don’t you think I can protect her? I have resources, little bird.”

He has cages. I’m not sure how safe he’ll keep my daughter or the price we’d have to pay. I don’t know how she’ll grow up in a city as sinful as Tanglewood. I haven’t been able to shed my restrictions like Candace.

I’m not comfortable with drugs, with violence.

With sex.

“What are you afraid of?” he asks, low and seductive.

The answer comes from somewhere deep inside me. “That I’ll like it.”

And then where would Delilah be? I know that what Leader Allen did to me wasn’t right, but that doesn’t mean everything he preached was wrong. I can’t be the woman who likes those things, who cuts her hair. I want Delilah to have a choice about who she’ll be. That can’t happen with my brother and his extreme allegiance to Leader Allen’s teachings. It can’t happen in Tanglewood either, mired in the mafia, next door to a strip club.

I want her to have a fighting chance.

“Let’s make a deal,” he says, voice mesmerizing.

My stomach twists because that feels like a trap. I’m a starving mouse looking at the shiny metal springs, wondering if I can beat them. Wondering if it’s still worth it if I can’t. “What kind of deal?”

“Work with me to make sure Delilah is safe. Then you can decide where to go. Anywhere in the whole fucking world. I’ll take you there myself.”

“And leave me there?” I ask, holding my breath. Would he let me go?

He hesitates only a minute. “You can stay.”