Chapter Seven

While I’m thinking of my answer, debating whether I can trust him, he plucks the Bible from the back of the toilet. As casual as can be, he strolls toward the light off the kitchen. The heavy book flips open. I manage to grab my shirt, pulling it on as I run after him.

I’m two steps behind him, reaching for the book. What page does he see?

“‘In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth,’” he says. “‘The earth was formless and void.’”

“‘And darkness was over the surface of the deep,’” I whisper. Genesis.

He looks at me sideways. “Do you have the whole thing memorized?”

Shame clenches my throat. “That was the only way I could know it. I didn’t know how to read.”

Candace taught me a little bit when she helped me escape Luca. Then she went back to Ivan Tabakov, a man renowned for his cruelty. Now she’s called Candy, because she’s a different girl. A smart, sexy, strong person. Not like me.

And I had to keep running. Had to give my child some chance at a normal life, the kind without cults, without criminals. There are people who live that way. I pass them, their windows dark as they sleep, but I can’t seem to become them.

His hand touches mine, his fingers large and calloused against the back of my hand. “Beth.”

I blink away the dark memories. “Why would you help me?”

“I’m a selfish man,” he says. “I want you. I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you in that godforsaken house, wearing that see-through shift and holding a rifle.”

“Then why?” I gesture helplessly to the bathroom, where he’d turned me down.

His hand curls along the side of my arm, tickling me. I twist away from the sensation, and he uses the motion to hold my hand. Skin to skin. Palm to palm. His thumb sweeps over the tender skin. This shouldn’t feel so intimate—soul to soul.

His green eyes glitter. “When I fuck you, you’re going to want it. Understand?”

I swallow hard. “I don’t—”

“No, you don’t understand. Which is a damn shame considering you gave birth to a child. But I’m going to fucking teach you if it kills me.”

The memory comes to me, that strange heat in my body. The laxness of my limbs. Is that what he means? Is this what it means to sin? My thoughts swerve away because I have my hands full with survival.

“You said you could make Delilah safe?”

His eyes narrow, but he lets me change the subject. It’s the only subject that matters. “Yes, but the first thing we need to do is get her out of this godforsaken state. When God made the surface of the deep, I’m pretty sure he was talking about Alaska.”

It’s the worst thing I could do at a time like this, but somehow I find myself laughing. His irreverence, his insistence. The irrepressible feeling of safety I have whenever he’s around. “Where will we go?”

“First we’ll take Delilah down to Candy and Ivan. They’ll watch her, keep her safe.”

“No.” Every cell of my body fights the idea of bringing Delilah into that nest of sin. Ivan Tabakov runs a criminal organization. He once owned the strip club where Candy worked when she escaped. That’s not a place to raise a little girl. That’s not what normal is about.

“No one can get through Ivan’s fortress of a house. Not even your brother.”

Leader Allen sent my brother to terrorize the girls who worked for Ivan, threatening Candy so she’d come back to Harmony Hills. That plan backfired because Ivan had already fallen in love with her. His protection was fierce and brutal—resulting in Leader Allen’s death. If anyone can protect Delilah, it’s Ivan Tabakov. “We can’t stay there forever.”

“Not forever. Only until your brother is caught.”

If my brother is caught, he’ll be put on trial. He’ll be found guilty. He’s hurt people in the name of God. I know he deserves to be punished, but I’m still the product of my upbringing. I don’t want to be the one to do it.

Delilah’s little fist. Her dark curls. I’ll do anything to protect her. And my brother won’t rest until he finds me. Until he brings her back into the fold, the lost lamb.

Then I understand why Luca’s really here. “You want to use me as bait.”

It’s a relief, after thinking he would force me. I shouldn’t feel even the smallest pang of disappointment.

His jaw tightens. “Your brother went after the girls at the club. He went after Candy. Tabakov won’t rest until he’s been found.”

“I’ll do it,” I whisper.

“I won’t let you get hurt,” he says, his voice hard.

He can’t promise that, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what happens to me.

Darkness was over the surface of the deep. The deep isn’t really Alaska. It comes from the Hebrew word for chaos, for confusion. For the restless motion of waves. If there’s one thing you learn from the Bible, it’s metaphor.

The chaos continues until God creates the earth. The story is meant to tell us God’s power, his might, but all I ever thought, as a little girl in a dirt-floor room, is that something existed before him.

The darkness was here first.