Chapter 6
She wouldn't have been the first person in history who tried to breakup with someone for their own good, but I never thought I'd be on this side of things. She was too good for me, not the other way around. If anyone should have left to save the other, it was me. I actually laughed when she spoke the words, knowing that she didn't mean them. It only infuriated her, causing her to leave the hospital on a stomp. She was only gone an hour, before she came shyly back in, holding a takeout bag in her hands.
“I brought you some dinner.” She said, placing the bag on the table in front of me.
“Come here.” I gritted out.
“I know you're mad-”
“Come. Here.” I said, with more conviction this time. She cast her head down, before walking slowly towards me, and when she finally reached me, I raised my arm towards her face, and tipped her chin. “What did I tell you about looking down.”
“I just want to keep you safe.” She whispered, as a lone tear rolled down her face.
“And, I just want to go home with my girl.”
“Cole-”
“Harper, we aren't breaking up. We're going to eat dinner, get some sleep, and then in the morning, you're going to drive us home.”
“But-”
“Sit.” I said, patting the bed before opening the takeout bag, and emptying it's contents.
She silently sat down beside me, and when I passed her the food she smiled. “Should I be worried?” She asked, taking a sip of her soda.
“About?” I asked, around a mouth full of food.
“I tried to break up with you, and you wouldn't let me. Feels pretty damn controlling.”
I laughed, nearly choking on my french fry. I knew she was being a smart ass, but it still kind of pissed me off. “Is that how you really feel? Sweetheart, if I thought you actually wanted me gone, I wouldn't stick around.”
“I've been controlled my entire life, but for some reason when you do it.. never mind.”
I could see her cheeks turning red, and I couldn't help but smile. “What is it Sweetheart?” I teased, rubbing my hand down her back, and letting it rest on her hip. “Does it turn you on?” I whispered close to her ear, causing a shiver to run through her body. Her cheeks changed from blush, to crimson, and I laughed, placing a kiss on her neck.
“You're such an asshole.” She breathed out in frustration.
“I never claimed to be anything different.”
Rolling her eyes, she began to eat her food. Pausing every few seconds to glance in my direction. My head was killing me, but I was trying to hide it. I didn't want her worrying about me. Wondering if I would be tempted to use again, because if I was being honest with myself, I was. Having her here with me helped. It was part of the reason I'd told her to stay. I was worried about her safety of course, but if she was here with me, I knew I could keep it together. My need to protect her was stronger than my urge to take the edge off, especially because I knew it wouldn't end there.
When we finished our meal, Harper curled into my side. The nurse came in to check my vitals, informing us that she couldn't sleep there. I told her to fuck off, and she didn't come back in after that. I closed my eyes, knowing that Harper wouldn't fall asleep until I did. When I heard her breathing change, and felt her grow limp beside me, I opened them again. I knew I wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. Instead, I rested my chin on her head, taking in her coconut shampoo.
I was worried. When Vanessa realized her flunkies had failed to get rid of me, what would she do next? I'd spoken to Wes, while Harper was gone, and he said he'd be by in the morning to help get me home. I told him to fuck off too, but it didn't work. He used Harper, saying that she couldn't possibly get me out into the car, and then into the house on her own. I told his dumb ass that my legs weren't broken, but when I stood earlier to use the restroom, I gave in. It was like a bad case of vertigo. Everything spun, even when I was standing still. Banging my head against the steering wheel may have saved my life, but it left one hell of a headache.
I must have drifted off at some point during the night, because when I woke, Harper was gone. I tried to sit, but I did it too quickly, causing my head to throb uncontrollably. I instinctively reached up, cradling it in my hands. The monitor next to my bed started beeping, and I could feel my heart rate increasing. A few seconds later, a slew of nurses came barreling into my room. I didn't know what was going on, but when I was being pressed to my back, I didn't fight it.
My breathing became shallow, and it felt like my heart was going to hammer out of my chest. I tried to speak, to ask where Harper had gone, but I couldn't catch my breath. One of the nurses placed an oxygen mask on me, and told me to take deep slow breaths. I did as she said, and after a few minutes my heart began to slow, and it was getting easier to breathe. I closed my eyes, continuing the deep breaths until I was calm enough to speak.
“What happened?” I finally breathed out.
“You had an anxiety attack Mr. Stephens. Have you ever had one before?”
“What? No.” I said with disbelief.
“Calm down Mr. Stephens. Your heart rate is just getting back to normal. Did something upset you?”
It was then, that Harper came back into the room. She was holding a bag of chips, and a bottle of water. Her eyes grew wide with concern, and I closed mine. “Get out.” I said to the nurse, who was checking my blood pressure.
“Mr. Stephens, I need to check-”
“Get. Out.” I said again, cutting her off.
She took the cuff from my arm, and shoved it back into the tray on her cart. She nodded towards the others in the room, and they exited just ahead of her. “I'll be back.” She warned.
“Where the hell were you?” I asked, my anger directed towards Harper this time.
“I was hungry.” She said, casting her eyes downward.
“Fuck, Harper.”
“What? You were sleeping peacefully, and my stomach was grumbling so loud, I thought I'd wake you.”
“I had a fucking panic attack.” I sighed.
“What?” She asked, placing her snacks on the bed side table. “Why?”
“Gee I don't fucking know. Maybe it's because I woke up at four AM in a fucking hospital, to find my girlfriend fucking missing!”
“Vanessa won't hurt me.”
“How can you be so fucking sure? After everything she's done?”
“What would you have done anyway? You're holed up in a hospital bed! If she were to come in here right now, you've got no way to protect me!” Her anger was rising, and her eyes began to fill with tears. “I just wanted a damn snack.” She sobbed.
Once again, I felt like the biggest ass on the planet, and once again I found myself patting the space beside me. She came without hesitation, tears still spilling from her eyes. When she was safely tucked back into my side, I kissed the top her head. “I'm sorry Sweetheart. I've just never felt this way before.”
“What way?” She sniffled.
“Helpless.”