“We take care of our own.” – Renegade Souls

 

To say the Renegade Souls MC filled the emergency room waiting area was an understatement. It was wall to wall bodies everywhere and she didn’t belong.

Luxe wasn’t feeling animosity, but these men, and some women, had long-seated ties together, and here she was, the lone sally-no-friends blowing in the wind.

Barely keeping it together, Luxe had rode silently with a prospect once they’d gotten word about Nathan. Thank god, she’d said to no one and everyone. She wasn’t a believer and here she was thanking Him. Every con artist was a bullshitter, even her. But she was more grateful than she’d ever been before.

Something sharp and unpleasant bloomed in her abdomen, the worry persistently lodged in her throat like rocks, she couldn’t settle until they knew something and it had already been more than an hour. What was happening with him? It was bad news, it must be, or they’d heard already. Luxe wasn’t prepared----how could she be, for those words. Small words, crushing words that he was gone. No, she couldn’t---she had to leave, if she wasn’t here, maybe-----

A mammoth-sized shadow blocked out the view of her exit, blinking, she looked up at a glowering Preacher. Beefy tattooed arms crossed against his chest, his head canted down, she wasn’t afraid, but also not thrilled to have him in her space for round two of his verbal beat down. But he didn’t say a word, just sighed massively.

“Asher, that’s enough.” Ruby told him gently clutching his hand she drew him away and gave Luxe a sympathetic smile. “He’s upset, we are all, he didn’t mean it earlier.” She mouthed to Luxe.

It didn’t matter, she blamed herself, the truth tasted bitter on her tongue. If not for Luxe asking him to go to that party that night he wouldn’t be somewhere in this fucking hospital bleeding out.

Oh, god. Her belly rolled over in that slick way right before a good vomit.

Please be okay. I need you. I need you, Nathan.

She felt so very small and alone with the urge to call Mimi to make it all better again. Only the person who would make her feel halfway human away was probably dying. She refused to sit, how could she be comfortable when Nathan was hurt. Her fault. Her fault.

White noise filled her head. Time went by. It could have been a minute later or an hour when she heard.

The same massive shadow appeared in front of her once more. “Are you okay?”

She blinked and looked up into piercing green eyes. His voice wasn’t so hateful and held a tenor of concern as his gaze flicked down to the same blood covering her shirt. She hadn’t noticed it until now. “Babe, are you okay?”

She shook her head but said. ”I’m fine.”

The pain blooming in her chest called her a liar.

Why weren’t they being told anything? That had to be a bad sign. A sign that Nathan was dead.

Preacher cleared his throat and really if he was about to go off on her again he was wasting his breath, she couldn’t hear anything but the sound of her own panic.

She mentally braced for it.

“My wife tells me I was too hard on you.”

“It’s okay. No need to apologize.” Her voice sounded far away, or maybe that was her ears ringing. She played with the cuff of the gray hoodie now ruined by blood. Nathan’s hoodie, the one she loved wearing after they’d had sex and he was making her food in his kitchen because it was so warm and soft and buried her in a foot of material.

The pain increased, almost caused her to fall to the floor, if not for the fact she’d steeled her knees to hold her the fuck up, to keep the swell of emotion in her throat and not to let it out in great bellowing sobs.

She had to hold on until they knew something.

“I wasn’t. But.” Preacher hauled in a breath and she looked up through her lashes, he looked as stressed as she felt and she felt a pang of apology he was going through this with his best friend. Nathan didn’t only belong to her, he belonged to these men first. “I had no right to talk to Grinder’s girl like that, he’ll give me hell for it once his ass is up and around.”

She’d like Nathan to be giving her hell. To be awake and teasing her at the stove in his kitchen while he made omelets with her vegetarian soy bits he hated. She’d like him to be awake and okay so he could nip at her mouth and tell her how much he enjoyed his thief teasing him.

His thief. She never realized how much she’d enjoyed being claimed in that basic way by him for all this time. Now maybe she wouldn’t hear it ever again.

Retreating to a corner, the waiting room filling up by the second, deep rowdy voices filling the void and Luxe didn’t hear a thing.

I love you, Luxe. I love you, remember I love you.

He’d been telling her goodbye.

 

 

******

 

"Couldn't do it, Rube. Couldn't pick up another rifle. I should have gotten him out there much sooner, he wouldn't need a transfusion right now if I had----I just fucking froze. I was shaking so goddamn much if I’d taken the shot I would have taken out more than just that cockfucker." Preacher’s sigh puffed out, the despair in her man's voice pulled at Ruby’s heart. Leaving her seat, she knelt on the floor in between his spread legs, his head hanging down in melancholy. His eyes dry, voice full of agony. She did the only thing she knew what to do, she pulled Preacher into her arms and held him tightly.

Her husband had once been a marksman sniper for the army, known to always get his target, but that kind of work had suffered on Preacher ever since. His PTSD attacks were few and far between now, but it always stayed with him and Ruby knew he would carry this, too, the fact he couldn't hold a rifle to stop the Russian's holding Grinder, to know Grinder had endured hours more worth of terrible beatings would torture Preacher. She held him even tighter feeling his big body sag with a hard exhale. She had her husband. Always would. Whatever he needed.  "He's going to be fine, baby. He's going to be fine." She began praying right there on the hospital waiting room floor while she held onto her man and hoped she was right. Hey, God, It's Ruby Priest... we need your help.

 

******

 

Across the waiting room, Zara pulled her gaze away from Ruby comforting her hubby, the bigger man looked depleted of energy as if he'd only been holding on by a thread until his girl had arrived at the hospital. She turned and leaned into Rider's shoulder, her own biker-man was quiet. A pillar of strength for his brothers, but she knew the worry behind his blue eyes. He’d arrived long after everyone else had and she wondered why the delay. But now wasn’t the time to ask him. First, they needed to know about Grinder’s health.  "Honey. Do you want anything to eat? I could run down to the cafeteria and pick something up for everyone." Waiting on news was worrying.

It wasn't looking good right now.

Rider's attention snapped down to her. She loved when he did that, become wholly focused on her. His hands reached out and he curved them around her nape drawing her in until her round belly pressed up against his hip. "You should be sittin’ down, Icy. Do you need anythin’? let me have one of the prospects drive you home."

So much concern he carried and still he was always caring for her needs. She smiled and leaned further into his touch knowing by now he had a need to take care of her and boy did she love him for it.

But even the strongest of men needed a helping hand at times and she tried to be that for her biker-man, even if it only meant listening to his club concerns.

No one expected this and yet Rider had been worried for an attack for months.

"I'm fine, honey. I'd rather stay here with you." His full palm slid across her growing belly. “The peanut doin’ okay?”

“He’s good. Active today. I think he’s got your heavy feet.” Wherever Rider was in the house she would hear him clomping around. Big feet. Big man.

“It’s a he today?” he flashed her a closed-lip smile.

Zara wrinkled her nose. “I’m hedging my bets. What if he’s a boy and knows we’ve been calling him a girl the entire nine month.”

“Could be one of each….”

Her head sprang up. “Shut your dirty mouth.” Her poor lady bits cringed in horror for that terrifying thought. She would never recover birthing two Rider sized babies.

He chuckled a little and buried his face in her neck, his thick voice a tired whisper, his palm under her shirt now cupping her belly. “I don’t know, Icy. I’m pretty potent.”

“The ego on you, biker-man.”

“I have enough to satisfy my little ice-blonde, don’t I?”

Mmm. He really did.

Turning in his arms, she leaned into his hard-protective chest. The room was a collective gathering of worry full to bursting with the RS members, old lady’s and prospects.  Even several members of another crew who had helped Rider were here.

None of their own were going home until they knew Grinder was going to be okay, even then she suspected no one would leave him unguarded.

Just what did her biker-man have to do to get Grinder free? Her fear dissipated and replaced with surprise as heavy footsteps drew everyone’s attention towards the door. They expected Grinder’s family, no one expected Hawk to push through the double doors.

His glower just as she remembered.

Tall, unkempt long blonde hair touching his wide shoulders, Hawk was just as she remembered in his club leather. Heavy brows and wary eyes scanned everyone as they each noticed the club’s VP was back in town after a year of being away.

Another second for the noise levels to rise in reaction. Zara smiled.

Family went above and beyond for each other. These men, would the generous spirit ever stop surprising her? “Look who the fuck it is.” Grinned her biker-man. The two friends met in the middle and slapped hands and their bond was more than apparent to see, despite the time they’d spent apart. Hawk scowled, his trademark facial expression.

“Where else would I be?” that was explanation enough of why he was back suddenly. “Fucking plane was late getting in. How is he?”

Zara stayed quiet letting the boys catch up on Grinder’s condition. Truth be told she was tired and would love to lie down, the peanut was active on her spine, not that she was telling Rider, he’d rush her home.

A few minutes later, Jamie Steele and his VP walked over. “We’re taking off, Rider. Good to see you, Hawk.” The surly man just nodded.

Her man reached out and the two men shook hands. Amicable rivals in most everything they’d come together simply because Rider had asked Jamie for help in going in to get Grinder. Zara had only seen her biker-man meet several times over the last year with the other MC president, but she suspected they held a great deal of respect for one another. Rivals didn’t have to mean enemies. “Thanks for comin’, man. ‘Preciate it.” Rider told him.

Jamie spoke briefly with Grinder’s woman standing over by the corner chewing on her thumb nail, she’d been so quiet it was as though she’d turned invisible. Zara’s brows dropped watching her so alone, so scared yet silently keeping it together. Zara knew that feeling all too well.

She watched the woman shake her head to whatever Jamie was asking her, he touched her cheek and the two men left.

Slipping out of Rider’s arm, Zara moved through the crowd smiling to her boys who murmured her name or Z-girl and gave her half-hugs.

“Hi. We haven’t been properly introduced. I’m Zara. That big one in blue over there is mine.” She smiled pointing to Rider. “Is there anything I can get you? Coffee? Tea? A sandwich? It might be a long wait until we hear anything.”

And that was how Zara got herself a new girl-friend.