The next morning Jared couldn’t believe how antsy he was. The last time he was this excited was when he was getting ready for deployment. Instead of nerves like the others, he was thinking action. Thinking saviors. Thinking hero. That was what he’d wanted to be. A hero.
He was smart enough to do what he wanted in life. School had just come so easy to him. Sports, the same. Many would have said he was blessed when he was born. Not so many would say that now. Or maybe they would and it was the fact he didn’t feel it and couldn’t understand why others did.
He was probably being too hard on himself. He knew that, but he couldn’t stop a lifetime of always wanting to be the best. Always wanting to make a difference. Now he didn’t feel like he was making a difference at all.
But meeting Shelby gave him a bit of a challenge at the moment. An internal one.
He’d been with a handful of other women since his accident. Nothing serious. Nothing mind blowing. Just a release.
Someone he met out for the night. A pleasure of sorts.
A stranger.
One that looked at his scars and thought he was that hero. That thought he was so big and brave and strong…and he let them think that. They didn’t need to know he was no one’s hero. That he was just taking life one day at a time and praying every day got a little better than the one before.
So far the praying seemed to be working for a guy who never followed any religion in his life.
Shelby was the first person he’d met that made him want something more. Something in the form of a relationship. Something long term.
What was it about her that drew him in?
She was on the small side. Long brown hair, straight and parted to the side. She looked to be younger than him, though he wasn’t sure how young. Yet she had a more mature quality to her.
Losing your husband when you’re pregnant would probably do that to a person, making them mature pretty fast.
Her eyes were light brown. Light in general. Nothing heavy in them. Nothing showing any sorrow that she was alone. Just joy about having a day with her little girl.
And when Kayla mistook him for the father she’d never met, Shelby looked slightly embarrassed, but took control of the situation.
Then at the car dealership, again, she weighed her options, listened to what was going on and made a decision. Then she covered her bases with that decision.
He found it funny and smart at the same time. He liked smart women.
Maybe that was the draw. He didn’t normally go toward women with a lot of intelligence. More frivolous or out for a good time.
Rather than taking a lot of effort for him to go get her and put himself out there, he analyzed it a bit more and realized there was no fear because there was a kinship there. A bond.
She wouldn’t look at his scars and injuries with sympathy or wonder about anything.
She’d been there, she’d done that and she’d understand. Because she had a bigger loss than him and she’d recognize what it was like to live when others died.
Survivor’s guilt. He had it big time.
Many didn’t live that day. Those that did lost limbs or lost a part of themselves they might never find again.
Even with his glasses and hearing aid on, he was still whole. Somewhat. No one saw most of the scars when he was dressed. Undressed, they saw more, but not a fraction of what he was dealing with.
Today wasn’t the day to deal either.
Once he was showered and shaved, he combed his hair. Not much to comb really. He had it longer than the standard military cut, but not so long that he actually had to comb it.
He sat down on the couch, put his boots on and grabbed his keys.
There was a humming in the air on the short drive to her place. Anticipation. That’s what it was. Ever since her text came in on his phone saying she was ready, he found he was too.
Ready for something he hadn’t had in too long.
***
Shelby was looking out the window, waiting for Jared to show up. Ten minutes, not much, so he didn’t live that far away.
Not that it mattered. Oh, who was she kidding? It mattered because she thought of him all night long.
Tall, strong, solid.
Her thing for men in uniform wasn’t going to go away, even with the devastating loss she’d suffered.
He hadn’t been in full uniform yesterday. Not like the admiral was. Jared was wearing his camo pants and a cotton Navy-issued shirt that did nothing to hide the magnificent chest and arms he was sporting. He obviously took very good care of himself considering he was in academics and not out in the action. Not off base or just on a leave waiting to be deployed.
He got out of the car and made his way to her door. She was going to open it and walk out but didn’t want it to be too obvious that she couldn’t wait to see him again. Even if that was the case.
She did open the door before he could knock but stayed a few feet back. “Thanks again for doing this. I really appreciate it.”
“My pleasure,” he said.
He was dressed the same today and she was glad about it. “Let me just get my purse and we can leave.”
“Where’s Kayla?” he asked.
Wasn’t that just sweet he asked? She turned and saw him in the foyer looking around her living room. It was neat, it always was. All of Kayla’s toys were packed away in little baskets. She hated a mess. Probably because it was forced on them as a child. The neatness. The structure.
“She’s at the sitter’s.”
“How did you get her there?”
“I walked her. The sitter lives two houses over. I was lucky enough to find someone who was retired that was bored and just dying to get her hands on a baby. She’s good about my schedule being flexible too.”
He nodded. “All right. Well, let’s get your car so you can get to work then.”
She locked the door behind her and followed him to the car. “How do the students know you’re the teacher if you dress the same?”
He laughed at her. It was a big booming sound that might have rattled windows if they were inside right now. “They’re in full fatigues. Do I really look young enough to be a student?” he asked.
“No. Not at all.” He was a man. No student there. “I guess I just thought maybe you would have been in pants and shoes rather than camo and boots.”
“I can be. I am sometimes. It’s my choice. I just feel more comfortable like this. What about you? Is that your uniform of sorts?”
She looked down at her tan pants and white shirt. “I guess. We can wear black or tan pants or shorts and white or black shirts. We have a black smock on anyway. But no loud or flashy colors. We’re meant to blend in more than anything.”
“Do you work a lot of hours or just scheduled appointments?”
She liked that he was asking her questions about her job. Not just hitting on her. Of course, she might like that too. Did she just think that? When was the last time she thought she’d want a man to hit on her? Never! Then again, since she met him yesterday it seemed she was having a lot of different thoughts.
“I work full time. I’m scheduled out for most of my hours, but when I have a break between people I fill in at the front desk if needed or take a walk-in. I don’t have much of a lull in my job and that’s a good thing.” The more appointments she had, the bigger the tips. “What about you?”
“I’ve got classes scheduled through the day and night. This semester I teach three different subjects, a total of five classes, plus all the prep work and so on. It’s more work out of the classroom than in.”
“How much time are you in the classroom actually teaching?” She just wanted to keep him engaged right now. Then again, she’d always been a little bit of a chatterbox. At least once she moved out of the house. When she was home with her parents and siblings, she’d kept to herself. Or learned to. It was better than drawing attention to herself.
“About twenty hours a week. Another twenty of office hours, making myself available for the students and such. I do a lot of the grading at home.”
“What will you do this summer when classes are out?”
“I’ll still teach a few classes, but not full time. The rest of the time will probably be on base working with the admiral.”
“Ah. That’s good. You must be someone special to get to work with him one on one.”
He turned and looked at her. “Why do you say that?”
“I just remember Ethan saying that not many people got individual attention like that. Not unless it was for classified work.”
“That’s usually the case. I guess in my situation I was up and coming. Kind of recruited for certain missions. I’ve had a close relationship with the admiral for years.”
“So you haven’t always been a professor?” she asked, her eyes roaming over his body again, wondering what changed.
“No,” he said quickly.
“Sorry. I tend to ask a lot of questions. I’ll stop now.”
He turned back to her and smiled, a genuine smile that reached his eyes. “It’s fine. A story for another time, maybe, since we’re here.”
Much to her disappointment, they’d arrived and their time together was over. “I’d like that,” she said, finding she was braver than she’d ever thought. Should she ask him out? She didn’t think she’d be that brave. Nor had she ever done anything like that before.
She didn’t have to worry though when he said, “How would you like to get dinner sometime?”
“I’d like that. I could try to find a sitter one night or...”
“Or what? I don’t mind having Kayla around. She’s cute and entertaining. Unless you think it’d be confusing for her?”
“No. I think she understands. I was actually going to suggest that maybe I could cook dinner for you one night. You’ve been really nice and helpful to me. Not everyone always is.”
When she was here all by herself, pregnant and alone, no one really reached out to her. No one really made her feel welcome. She had to do it all on her own. It was probably best though and taught her that she could do it. She didn’t need anyone.
More people reached out in the beginning after Ethan died. More staff from the Navy. Support groups, other wives. But people come and go and she found herself alone again. Thankfully Nancy was a few houses down and almost took the role of a mother in Shelby’s eyes. She’d be lost without Nancy.
It was just nice to have someone else right now. Sometimes it was tiring being alone with everything on her shoulders and having no one to lean on. No one else to really talk to. The girls at work were nice, but they didn’t understand. Women her age were out having fun.
No one had a child.
No one was a widow.
“I’d like that a lot. Since you’ll be doing the cooking, why don’t you tell me what works for you?”
“How does this Friday sound? I get out of work at four, so maybe dinner at six?”
“This Friday at six sounds great. It’s a date.”
She hopped out of his SUV and walked over to the driver’s side, where he rolled the window down to see her standing there, a big smile on his face now. Probably the one matching hers. He put one forearm on the frame and turned to face her completely, giving her a nice up-close view of his clean-shaven face. He really was one handsome man.
“A date?” she asked. “Just so you know, in case you want to change your mind, it’s the first one I’ve had in four years.”
His smile never wavered. “Then I’ll consider myself pretty darn lucky.”
He shifted his arm and held his palm up, making her wonder what she was supposed to do. She slapped it and he burst out laughing again. “Sorry. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do.”
“Do you know your accent gets thicker when you’re flustered?”
She knew that. It was because she wasn’t trying so hard to keep it back. “Yeah.”
He winked at her. “It’s adorable. I’ll see you in two days.”
She smiled and watched him drive away. She was going on a date!