Despite Vaughn’s reassurance that I wasn’t broken, I was a far cry from being fixed. Not that I’d expected some miracle cure with his words or because I’d given myself permission to shout a swear word a few times. Even now as the men around me began strategizing, it was all I could do not to call out for the darkness that had been my comfort for so long. Since I needed something to ground me, I began twisting my hands together as I tried to listen.

But it wasn’t enough.

Vaughn and I were sitting on the couch and our legs were touching, but I found that wasn’t enough either. Since he’d seemed okay with his brother and friends seeing him holding me earlier, I had to hope what I was about to do wouldn’t upset or embarrass him. I kept my eyes on whoever was speaking as I let the fingers of my left hand slide over my own leg and then brush against Vaughn’s. My goal was to just have the little bit of contact with him, but he surprised me when he calmly slipped his hand down to cover mine. Then he was linking our fingers.

And he kept right on talking without missing a beat.

Like holding my hand was the most natural thing in the world.

I pulled in a breath, then another and felt my body relax a bit. My mind cleared and I zeroed in on Vaughn’s voice as he spoke.

“We need to let Stylianos seek us out,” he said to Luca. “If you just start parading around the fact that you have Aleks, he’ll get suspicious… most people will. He’s already going to be looking at you for killing his men.”

“I had my team plant evidence that points to a few other potential parties,” King said. “Hopefully that will throw Stylianos off… he’ll just think you were one of a few guys going after Aleks.”

Although I knew none of them considered me property, I knew it had to look that way if any of this was going to work. But it still made me sick to think about how that’s what I’d once been… and that there were people out there who wanted to make me that again.

“I think we need to throw Stylianos off even more,” Vaughn said. “We need to make it look like an independent party took Aleks for the cash payout and Luca just happened to find out about it before anyone else… it’ll legitimize Luca too.” Vaughn looked at King. “Do you have any guys who can play the role?”

“Yeah,” King said, his face pulled into a mask of seriousness.

“We’ll need to get Lex and his team on creating Luca’s posts saying he has Aleks—” Vaughn said.

“No,” King interrupted. “Lex isn’t available. I’ll take care of the posts.”

All three men looked at King in surprise. Con said, “King, he’d want to be involved in the search for Gio—”

“No,” King repeated, his expression unwavering as he pinned Con with frosty eyes. “He’s not available.”

I could see that Con wasn’t satisfied with the response, but when he went to say something else, Luca called his name and then shook his head. Con frowned and there was a moment of awkward silence as he seemed to decide if he was going to confront King further. He finally shook his head, then looked at Vaughn. “We’ll need a picture of Aleks to show online,” Con said. “It’s going to need to be convincing,” he said softly as he looked at me.

I swallowed hard. I looked to Vaughn because I couldn’t find my voice to ask what Con meant.

“We’ve been using photoshop to make up fake pictures for Luca to post online as he tries to get deeper in the ring. People are suspicious of him because of who he is… so we’ve spent the last two years making it look like he’s one of them with the fake pictures and posts in forums. It’s been a painstaking process because we also have to cover everything we do so it can’t actually be linked back to him, or he’d end up being prosecuted for all those things, even though he didn’t actually do them,” Vaughn explained.

I nodded. “The proof has to be so good that it fools even the police,” I said.

“Exactly,” Vaughn said. “While Luca hasn’t actually committed a crime, if the stuff we’ve put out there ever gets linked back to him by someone other than the people we’re trying to convince, it would all be over for him.”

“So you need to take a picture of me?” I asked.

“Not just any picture, Aleks,” Luca said gently. “It has to be of me and you and it has to show what our relationship is.”

I felt bile rise in my throat. I looked at Vaughn. “Father took pictures like that.” I began shaking my head. “No, I can’t. No, I’m sorry, I can’t.” I couldn’t stop from repeating the words over and over.

“Aleks,” Vaughn said as he grabbed my face and forced me to look at him. “They don’t need to be like those pictures,” he said quickly.

I closed my eyes. “You saw them?”

He caressed my face. “It doesn’t matter, do you hear me? It doesn’t change anything for me.”

I knew I was being ridiculous. He’d seen me do far worse things than those pictures, but the pictures had been a permanent tribute to what I’d been to Father and they were probably still out there for any manner of men to use however they wanted.

“Aleks,” Con said, and I made myself look at him. “The picture with Luca just has to have a certain essence to it… you guys will be acting and nothing more. He won’t be touching you in it and you can be fully dressed… it’s about portraying a certain dynamic.”

I didn’t really understand the last word, but I got the gist of what he was saying. I looked at Vaughn. He was still holding my face. “So it can be like when Father had me sit on the floor next to him?”

Vaughn swallowed hard and nodded. “Yes,” he said, though it sounded like the word was hard for him to get out.

“Okay,” I said. A picture like that wouldn’t be so bad. Father hadn’t always made me undress when I’d knelt next to him after I’d pleasured him. I’d just have to pretend Luca was like Father.

I glanced at Luca and felt a little better when he dropped his eyes. He clearly wasn’t happy about needing to do this either.

“Okay,” I repeated and Vaughn released his hold on me but picked up my hand again.

“Do we stay here or in Chicago?” King asked. “I need to plan for logistical support.”

“Here,” Vaughn said.

“Isn’t Chicago where that man is?” I asked. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how to make my tongue pronounce his name. “I heard his men say that was where they were taking me in the van the night they took me,” I added.

“In all likelihood, yes, Stylianos is in Chicago. But Luca going there with you so soon after acquiring you would set off red flags.”

“If we’re lucky, we can draw him here on our turf,” Luca said to me. “The goal is to play it like Marcus did… that I have no interest in selling you but if the price were right…”

This time I actually had to swallow the bile down and the burn made my throat hurt.

King cleared his throat. Everybody looked at him but me. I was still trying to keep from throwing up.

“My people found chatter online about a viewing party that’s happening weekend after next. If Luca takes Aleks to that, it’ll get back to Stylianos faster. He may even show up there if we mention the party in a post. He’ll be worried about losing out to another potential buyer, especially if we hint that Luca’s not entirely satisfied with his new acquisition… that he was hoping for someone a few years younger and with lighter features.”

“No, absolutely not,” Vaughn said, shaking his head. “We don’t have enough control in that kind of environment.”

King put his hands up in supplication as Vaughn’s anger grew with every word. The idea of going to one of the very events I’d so often been forced to attend, sometimes as someone’s property and sometimes as merchandise, made my stomach turn violently and part of me was glad Vaughn was so adamant about the whole thing.

But then I remembered none of this was about me.

“Will it work better if we do that?” I asked. “Will it help us find Gio faster?”

“Aleks—” Vaughn began, but he quieted when I squeezed his hand and then did to him what he was always doing to me to comfort me – I began running my thumb back and forth over his.

“There’s no guarantee,” King began.

I sighed and looked at Vaughn briefly, then back at King. “But you wouldn’t have mentioned it if you didn’t think it would help.”

King didn’t respond.

It was answer enough.

“I think we should do it,” I said, even as my mind screamed at me to keep my mouth shut, or to at least say no.

“No,” Vaughn said. “Out of the question.” He released my hand and jumped to his feet.

“Vaughn—” Con began, but Vaughn cut him off.

“No! We’re not risking it. It’s not up for discussion!”

With that, Vaughn suddenly left the room. I watched him go. No one in the room moved or spoke. I knew there was a lot left to discuss, but it would have to wait. But there was one thing I could take care of before I went to find Vaughn.

“King,” I murmured.

“Yeah, Aleks,” King said. I could hear in his voice that he knew what I was going to say. It appeared that Vaughn was the only one trying to deny the inevitable.

“Get us into that party,” I said softly, then climbed unsteadily to my feet.

It was Luca who said, “He’ll be by the water… east side of the house.” He pointed in the direction for me.

I nodded my thanks and then left the room. It wasn’t hard to find him. He was by the water, but when I got closer and saw the white wooden bench he was sitting on, I knew it might not have been the beautiful view that he’d been seeking out.

The back of the bench had the words, For My Theodora carved into the top slat.

I went around the bench and sat down next to Vaughn. I leaned into him so my head was resting on his chest. He put his arm around me.

“Was this her spot?” I asked.

Vaughn began playing with my hair as the slight ocean breeze blew it around. I could feel a slight tremor in his hand.

“She’d come out here and walk every day, even when the weather was bad.”

“Will you tell me what happened to her?”

“It was a few days before Christmas. Luca and I were in the living room in the townhouse our parents owned in the city. Our mother had wanted to do some shopping, so we’d gone there for a few days. The plan was to spend Christmas out here.”

“You said your mother spent more time at this house, right?”

“Right,” Vaughn murmured. “Luca and I went to public school, she did all the cooking and cleaning and grocery shopping herself, even though our father had hired people to do all that… she just wanted to live a quiet life. It wasn’t even really this house that she loved – but the water, it called to her.”

“Like trees called to you,” I said.

He chuckled, the sound of it rumbling beneath my ear. “Yeah, like that.”

“What about your father?”

“My father,” Vaughn murmured. “He liked winning. He liked knowing people were afraid of him. Power was his drug and he was a full-blown junkie.”

I sighed because I’d heard Remy use that term to describe himself when he’d been hooked on drugs before moving to Seattle. He’d been clean for two years, but I knew it was something he still struggled with on a daily basis. I didn’t understand addiction, but I understood power. Vaughn’s father may not have hurt kids the way Father and Brian had, but he’d gotten off on having that power over someone or lots of someones.

I had a pretty good idea of who was included in that list of someones.

“Did your father live here with you?” I asked.

“He’d make the commute sometimes, but it wasn’t unheard of for him to spend several days in the city. Every once in a while our mother would go to him and leave us with a sitter, but it wasn’t very often. If it hadn’t been Christmas, I doubt we’d have been in the city that day.”

“What happened?”

“She was getting some shopping bags out of her trunk. Luca and I were in the house… I was old enough to watch him. She called us to come help her. We were in the process of getting our coats on when we heard this loud bang. Then another.” Vaughn let out a harsh laugh. “Luca and I thought it was a car backfiring… we actually told each other it sounded really cool because it’d been so loud.”

I reached up my hand to search out Vaughn’s where it was resting on my shoulder.

“I saw her first, but I wasn’t fast enough to stop Luca from coming around the car. Her eyes were open and there was just the smallest amount of blood coming from this tiny hole on her forehead. But there was so much of it beneath her head and back. I started screaming for help and tried to shake her awake, but Luca, he just… he just stood there like he didn’t understand what he was looking at.”

Vaughn was silent for several seconds before saying, “It was one of our father’s business rivals. Our father had stolen from him and the man had lost everything. So he took our mother’s life, his wife and child’s, then his own.”

“I’m sorry, James,” I said as I sat up so I could look at him. But he was staring at the ocean.

“My father had never been a particularly soft man,” Vaughn said. “But he buried what little kindness he’d had with her.”

“You said he promised your mother he’d always look out for you.”

“No, I said he promised he wouldn’t get rid of me.”

I felt my throat close up. “What does that mean?”

He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me,” I said.

He looked at me and then reached out to touch my face like he had to be sure I was really there. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“He used to tell me and Luca that no one could ever take anything from him again. It was bad for business. That pretty much became the family motto after that.” Vaughn’s eyes drifted to the ocean again. “He had two sons so he figured he’d make use of that. Luca learned the business side of things because he was the ‘real’ kid and my job was to make sure no one stole from him or our father ever again.”

My eyes drifted to the gun tucked in Vaughn’s waistband.

The gun he rarely had out of his sight.

“He made you do bad things?” I asked.

“He didn’t make me,” Vaughn said. “I wanted to make my dad proud so I did it all without question. He wanted me to learn how to fight – I learned how to throw a punch with the best of them. He wanted me to carry a gun – I made sure I always hit my target. He wanted me to rough a guy up – I didn’t even ask why I was doing it.”

I felt sick to my stomach because I couldn’t envision Vaughn hurting people for no reason.

“Fortunately, the old man still had a conscience. My job was mostly just to push people around until they saw my father’s side of things,” Vaughn murmured. “Only fuckers I’ve ever put in the ground were the ones I met after Gio was taken.”

“That’s why Con said you were the best equipped to go after Gio from the inside.”

Vaughn nodded. “King’s good, but he and subtlety aren’t the best of friends. After I move on to the next ‘client,’ King and his team get the kids out and eliminate the fuckers. Con gets the kids to safety and Lex helps them either go home or start over. Luca finances all of it and uses his contacts to take down any network he can, usually by leaking evidence to the cops or task forces around the country. He also chases down every lead on Gio while still maintaining the outward appearance that he’s just another super-successful businessman.”

I leaned against the bench and let my fingers roam over the inscription on the back of it.

“You’ve all paid too high of a price,” I said softly.

Vaughn shook his head. “Luca’s suffering is far worse. That kid was… is his entire life. Luca was on the same path as our father until Gio came into his life. Then it was like he just woke up.” Vaughn smiled. “You should have seen our father’s face when Luca told him he was taking all the businesses legit. Fucker nearly had a coronary on the spot. Finally did six months later.”

“What did you do?” I asked. “After Luca told your father that.”

“You’ll just laugh,” Vaughn said with a smile.

“No, I won’t,” I responded. I nudged his knee with mine. “Tell me.”

“I finished high school first. Got my GED.”

“Your father hadn’t let you finish school?”

“No reason to. You don’t need to understand algebra or biology to know how to shoot a gun or beat the shit out of someone,” he said.

The lightness I’d been feeling dissipated. “How old were you when you got it?” I asked.

“Twenty-seven.”

“What did you do afterwards?”

“I’d always dreamed of being a pilot but to fly for a commercial airline, it meant going to college and I wasn’t so sure I wanted to do that at that age. Luca surprised me with flying lessons. I knew after the first one that it was what I wanted. I enrolled in college the very next day – full-time. Luca paid for everything. I tried to argue with him that I should be working while I was going to school so I could pay my own way, but to Luca everything was ours, not just his. The profits from the business, this house and the other properties he owned, the planes, the cars… all of it. It was just one of those things we never really agreed on, but I wanted to be a pilot and the sooner I could have that, the better. So I accepted the money.” Vaughn dropped his gaze and stared at the gun tucked in his waistband. “Gio was taken three days after I started school.”

“You were close to him?” I asked. I’d already guessed as much, but I wanted to hear about his relationship with his nephew.

Vaughn nodded. “I guess he woke me up too.” He looked at me. “I love that kid so fucking much, Aleks.”

“I know you do, James.” I reached out to brush some hair off his forehead. “We’ll get him back.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want you at that party.”

I sidled up to him and put my arms around his waist and made him the promise I hadn’t been willing to a mere hour earlier. “You won’t lose me, James. I promise.”

He sighed but didn’t relax.

And I couldn’t really blame him.

Because we both knew there was a good chance it was a promise I couldn’t keep.