It was the most logical question on the planet.

Where are we going?

But I was afraid to ask it. And not only because my instinct was reminding me that asking questions was forbidden – but also because I didn’t want to know the answer.

It was the coward’s way out, to just remain silent. But it was what it was.

I was a coward. Always had been.

Even when I’d been little and long before I’d been taken, I’d hidden away from the scarier parts of life. For all the mean things my father had said to Dante, for all the names he’d called him, I’d never once spoken up for my brother. I’d tried to make up for it by showing Dante that Papa was wrong in other ways, but I’d never stood in front of my father and told him not to talk to Dante that way. On the rare occasions Papa had yelled or Mama had been disappointed in me, I’d let Dante comfort me and tell me everything was going to be okay. If the shadows on my ceiling took on the form of monsters or I heard a noise in the darkened house in the middle of the night or one of the boys in my class called me a name because I was too small or my family didn’t have enough money, I’d always gone to Dante. No matter what he’d been doing, he’d either made room for me in his bed or he’d taken me by the hand to check all the corners and closets in the apartment or warned my tormenters to leave me alone.

I’d never been brave because I’d never had to be brave.

After I’d been taken, Brian had made sure I hadn’t tried to be brave.

And now, with a full belly and tired eyes, I just wanted to pretend for a little while longer that Vaughn was taking me home.

I knew we were headed south… the signs on the interstate had indicated as much.

South.

So not to Chicago, apparently.

Of course, since I really didn’t know much about the layout of the United States, I couldn’t actually be sure that we weren’t headed to Chicago. After I’d been taken, my education hadn’t exactly been a priority. I’d only been able to speak English because my mother had dreamed of me one day going to the same college in the U.S. my real father had attended. He’d been an engineer and had died shortly before she’d learned she was pregnant with me. Although my stepfather had adopted me and given me his last name, something he hadn’t been willing to do for Dante, my mother had made sure from an early age that I knew about the father I had in heaven.

I couldn’t help but wonder once again if what my mother had believed was true… that my father had been watching out for me and Dante from heaven. Part of me didn’t think so because surely that would have been a cruel jest… for him to have to watch his son get stolen away and not be able to do anything about it. What kind of heaven was that? But admittedly, when I’d first been taken I’d begged my father in heaven to help me. After a while, I’d started to accept that my mother had been wrong about heaven. When Dante had found me, that in itself had seemed like a miracle, so I just wasn’t really sure what was true anymore.

“You okay?”

Vaughn’s voice jerked me from my thoughts and I quickly glanced at him. His eyes were on the road, of course, but he kept shooting me quick looks. His brow line was furrowed like he was worried about something.

I nodded.

I saw his mouth tighten a bit and I wondered why. He looked… disappointed?

That couldn’t be right, could it?

Why would he be disappointed?

Had I done something to upset him?

I’d tried to be quiet and I hadn’t asked questions. Maybe I’d eaten too much at breakfast? But he’d seemed pleased about that when he’d asked me if it was good after I’d pushed my second helping of grits away. When he’d asked me if I needed to go to the bathroom before we’d gotten on the road, I’d dutifully gone and I’d tried to hurry. Once in the car, I’d remained silent so as not to distract him.

So why was he upset?

Was he upset?

God, I missed Dante and Magnus. I could always ask them questions like this. If I didn’t understand something someone said or did, Magnus or Dante would help me make sense of it.

I could ask Vaughn if he was angry with me, but did I really want to know the answer?

I shook my head and then looked down at my lap. I stilled when I saw how jagged my nails looked.

And how dirty my fingers were.

Not fresh dirt, but the kind that got beneath the skin and didn’t come off with just one or two washings. I’d had to use a special scrubber when I’d lived with Father to get the dirt off every day so he wouldn’t be angry with me or tell me I couldn’t have the flowers anymore. And if he’d caught me chewing my nails…

A shiver ran through me.

He’s dead.

“What?”

I jumped at Vaughn’s question.

“Did you say something?” he asked gently.

Oh God, had I said the words out loud? About Father being dead?

Since I didn’t want Vaughn to know my train of thought, I blurted, “Do you know where MIT is?”

If I’d wanted to distract Vaughn, I’d definitely managed it because he looked completely caught off guard. “MIT? The school?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Um, yeah, it’s in Massachusetts. It’s not far from Boston,” he answered.

“What does it mean?” I asked.

“MIT?”

I nodded again.

“It stands for Massachusetts Institute of Technology.”

“Do you have to be really smart to go there?” I asked.

“Yeah, pretty smart,” Vaughn acknowledged. “It’s one of the best engineering schools in the country.” When I didn’t respond, Vaughn asked, “Why? Are you hoping to go there someday?”

I laughed at that.

The sound felt foreign and I automatically covered my mouth to stifle the noise. I sent Vaughn a sidelong glance, but he didn’t seem irritated by my outburst. I’d gotten used to laughing around Dante and Magnus, but I was careful about doing it around other people. Granted, I wasn’t really around other people enough to even have the opportunity to laugh. The exception was Matty… and of course, his besties, Leo and Jamie.

And it was hard not to laugh when a very naked Leo would go streaking down the block with one or both of his beleaguered fathers chasing after him with a handful of clothing.

I felt my mouth tug into a smile.

“What?” Vaughn asked.

I looked at him and saw he was smiling in that way that people did when they saw something they liked.

“Nothing,” I said quickly.

His face fell and I felt my stomach drop out.

“I was thinking about something,” I added. “Someone, actually.”

“Who?”

I could see he was really interested so I said, “Magnus has a grandson named Matty. He’s seven. His best friend is Leo. Leo doesn’t like to wear clothes so he usually takes them off as soon as he gets the chance. His fathers live on the same block as Matty and his fathers. Magnus and Dante just bought a house a few doors down earlier this year… anyway, every once in a while I’ll see Leo running down the sidewalk, completely naked. His fathers are usually chasing after him. Their neighbor, Mrs. Finney, she’s in a wheelchair and she and Leo and Matty and Jamie race each other down the street, but Leo says he runs fastest with only sneakers on so he gets undressed first…”

I felt my cheeks heat when I realized how caught up I’d gotten in telling the story to Vaughn… he’d asked a simple question and I’d basically given him a book’s worth of an answer.

“Leo’s poor fathers,” Vaughn said with a smile, which made me feel better. At least I hadn’t annoyed him.

“He’s finally taken to wearing underwear recently,” I explained. “But Connor thinks it’s only because it’s been so cold out.”

“Connor?”

“One of Leo’s fathers,” I said. “He’s also one of my tutors.”

“Is Connor helping you get ready to apply to MIT?”

“What? No,” I said, horrified. “I’m not… I could never…”

I snapped my mouth shut because I hadn’t been expecting the topic change.

“You could never what?”

I shook my head.

“Aleks,” Vaughn said softly and I couldn’t help but look at him. His eyes were so dark they looked almost black, but there was such gentleness in them.

Like there’d always been when it’d just been him and me…

“I can’t… I can’t go to college,” I stammered.

“Why not?”

I looked down at my fingers and began picking at the sharper edges of some of my nails. I needed a nail file, but I didn’t have one. I used the edge of my thumbnail to try and fix one of the worst of the broken nails but then suddenly a big warm hand closed over both of mine. I sucked in a breath as a jolt of electricity fired up my arms.

“I have a nail file in my bag,” Vaughn said. “I’ll give it to you next time we stop.” He paused then added, “They don’t bother me, Aleks.”

I let out a whoosh of air as I realized what he was really saying.

You won’t be punished for messy nails, Aleks.

“Okay,” I managed to say.

He gave my hands a squeeze and I felt warmth shimmy throughout my entire body. Then something in my groin tightened and I barely stifled a groan at the strange sensation that wasn’t entirely bad.

Vaughn removed his hand and I actually missed the contact.

Why?

“Why can’t you go to college?” Vaughn asked.

“I can barely leave the house,” I muttered.

Vaughn was silent for a beat and I was half-tempted to look at him to try and figure out what he was thinking. But I also kind of didn’t want to know.

“It won’t always be like that, Aleks,” he said.

I wanted to laugh at that but managed not to. He said he’d watched me for the first week after he’d saved me two years ago. So he’d have no idea how little progress I’d made since he’d last seen me. And I definitely didn’t want to tell him.

“I’m too far behind,” I hedged. “Connor and Miss Savannah – she’s my other tutor – think I could take some college courses on the computer now, but the GED stuff was so hard. And I… I like working at the flower shop.”

I did look at Vaughn briefly, but to my surprise, he wasn’t looking at me with anything but curiosity. No pity that I could see.

“Why’d you ask about MIT?”

“My father went there.”

“Your father is from the U.S.?” Vaughn asked.

I nodded. “But Papa isn’t.”

I almost smiled at his look of confusion. “I have two fathers,” I clarified. “Mama was married before she had me. Dante and I have the same father, but he died before I was born. He was very smart and went to MIT. Mama always hoped I’d go there someday. Mama said it was my… legacy?”

Vaughn nodded, and I relaxed a little when I realized I hadn’t messed up the word. “Mama made sure I knew English because she wanted me to come back here and go to my father’s school and be just like him.”

“Your English is excellent,” Vaughn said.

I knew he’d meant the words as a compliment, but a chill snaked down my spine. The next thing I knew my name was being called from far away.

“Aleks, sweetheart, just focus on my voice.”

I felt my skin grow warm. First on my cheek, then my arms. Someone was rubbing my upper arms but not in a bad way.

“Aleks, open your eyes.”

When had I closed my eyes?

I did as he said and forced my lids open. Bright light was everywhere, but it wasn’t anything more than the sunlight filtering through the car like before.

Only now the car wasn’t moving.

And Vaughn didn’t have his hands on the wheel. They were on me, rubbing my arms. My shirt sleeves had ridden up on my forearms and every once in a while he’d give my muscles there a gentle squeeze.

“Breathe, baby,” Vaughn whispered.

I automatically sucked in a breath, then another. My brain began to feel less fuzzy. As my mind started to focus, I realized we were sitting on the side of the road, but not on the interstate anymore. We were on the shoulder of an off-ramp.

“What… what happened?” I asked.

“Here, drink this,” Vaughn said as he handed me a bottle of water. It was warm, but it gave me something to focus on as I tried to get my bearings.

My fingers were shaking as I tried to put the cap back on the bottle, so Vaughn took it from me and closed it, then set the bottle in the cup holder between us.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Aleks, have you ever lost time before?”

“What? I don’t know what that means,” I said.

“Have you ever blacked out and woken up minutes or hours later or in a different place… after you left Chicago?”

“No, I—” I began, but then fell silent. Then I was nodding. “A few times,” I whispered. “After I began living with Magnus and Dante… they, um, they’d find me asleep in strange places sometimes.”

“What places?”

I shook my head because I didn’t want to say.

“What places?” Vaughn gently repeated. He was still rubbing my arms. My entire body started to get warm.

“My closet mostly. Sometimes the basement.”

I could feel his eyes on me but refused to look up. “I don’t know about the other…”

“The losing time?” Vaughn asked.

I nodded. “I guess sometimes I’d feel confused for no reason… like I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten someplace or what I’d been doing.”

“We were talking about how well you speak English,” Vaughn said.

“I remember,” I said.

“Do you remember anything after that?”

Fear began to engulf me as I realized I couldn’t. “No,” I said softly. “No, I just… we were talking and you said that and then you were calling my name and telling me to open my eyes.” I looked up at him in confusion. “What happened? Did I pass out or something?”

The entire car shifted when a huge semi flew past as it got off the interstate. I jumped and felt my breathing tick up.

“Aleks, look at me,” Vaughn demanded. My brain instantly responded to the command and I did as he said. “I’m going to get us to someplace quieter so we can talk. I want you to hold my hand and not let go,” he said. He quickly put the car in gear, then curled his fingers around mine. I unashamedly clung to him. “I want you to tell me a funny story about when you and Dante were kids and I want you to keep your eyes on me the whole time, okay?”

I couldn’t breathe well, but I managed a nod. The car began moving but Vaughn had to give my hand a squeeze. “Aleks,” he said softly.

Right, the story.

“When I was seven and Dante was fifteen, our grandmother was cooking dobradinha… it’s, um, part of the cow’s stomach,” I began. “Anyway, Dante and I both hate dobradinha but Mama always made us eat it. Our Vó used to take her wedding ring off when she was cooking it, so Dante came up with this plan. He told me to pretend to color a picture of our Vó—”

“Vó? Does that mean grandmother?” Vaughn asked.

“Yes. Grandfather looks almost the same when you spell it, but it is pronounced Vô.”

Vaughn nodded in understanding. “Anyway, Dante told me to pretend to color her por… por…”

“Portrait?” Vaughn offered.

“Right, portrait,” I said awkwardly because I’d known that word but wasn’t sure why I was having so much trouble matching it to my thoughts. Vaughn gave my hand another gentle squeeze and I couldn’t help but look down. His thumb was rubbing over mine and while it was both relaxing and soothing at the same time, there was something happening in my belly… a tenseness I didn’t understand. I wasn’t exactly nervous. It was more like I was waiting for something… but I didn’t know what exactly.

“So Dante had you pretend to draw your grandmother’s portrait…” Vaughn reminded me.

“Um, yes,” I stammered as I realized I’d been staring at where his finger was stroking mine. “So I made her sit at the kitchen table while I was drawing. Dante came in but someone kept coming into the room so he couldn’t take it… I had to keep distracting her. I, uh, don’t know the word...”

“You stalled,” Vaughn suggested.

“Right. I had to stall her. She was afraid her food would burn but I kept telling her I was almost done. Dante was taking the ring right when she said she was done sitting for her portrait. I screamed her name and then jumped in her lap and showed her the picture. It was… it was a terrible picture,” I said with a smile. “Even for being seven, I did a really bad job. It didn’t even look like a person… it looked more like a pig.”

I couldn’t help but smile as I remembered my grandmother’s expression when I’d shown her the picture.

“She finished cooking and when we all sat down to eat, Dante casually asked her when she’d stopped wearing her wedding ring. She looked at the food and let out this cry… Papa had already started eating so she slapped him on the back to get him to spit the food out and made him look through it for the ring. Then everybody had to look through what was on their plate.”

“How did Dante get the ring back to her?” Vaughn asked. His expression was soft and relaxed, which helped calm me even more.

“He left it in the soap dish by the kitchen sink. Beneath the soap. He let me ‘find’ it and our Vó was so happy she gave me an extra helping of dessert.”

“Did anyone ever find out?”

I laughed. “Our Vô… he was always good at being able to tell when me and Dante were up to something. When he asked us about it, I… what’s the expression… sang like a…?”

“Canary,” Vaughn said with a chuckle. “You sang like a canary.”

“I did,” I admitted.

“Did he turn you in?”

“No.” I began laughing so hard it was almost difficult to breathe. When I could finally speak, I said, “Turned out our Vô hated dobradinha too! He kept our secret and whenever our Vó said she was going to make dobradinha, either me or Dante or our Vô would ask her to make our favorite food instead and we’d give her the dog eyes.”

Vaughn’s laughter was a soft rumble in his chest that I itched to feel beneath my fingers.

“Puppy dog eyes,” he corrected.

I nodded. “It usually worked. I never had to have dobradinha again…”

I sobered when I realized the real reason I hadn’t had that terrible dish ever again… because I’d been abducted less than three months later.

The lead weight was back in my stomach.

“Hey,” Vaughn said, and then I felt his fingers under my chin again. “You’re safe, Aleks. Just take deep breaths and focus on my voice.” When I could breathe again, I realized Vaughn had stopped the car again, this time on the side of the road beneath an overpass.

I managed a nod. “Did… did you ever play tricks like that?” I asked.

“No… pranks didn’t go over real well in my house,” he hedged. “But my brother and I did once convince a gardener that the lawnmower was possessed.”

“What?” I asked with a laugh.

Vaughn shrugged and said, “I was always mechanically inclined. A few crossed wires and a few stories here and there about the previous gardener being horribly maimed by the thing were enough… power of suggestion and all.” He winked at me.

Actually winked.

My heart almost stopped.

And I couldn’t stop staring at him.

In case he did it again…

“Aleks,” Vaughn said softly, and I forced myself to focus on his entire face rather than one rogue eye.

“You have a brother?” I asked, hoping to stall.

“I do,” was all he said, then he was grazing my cheek with the backs of his fingers. “You don’t remember what happened back there, but you know what caused it, don’t you?”

I wasn’t sure what “it” was, but I did know what the cause was. I wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t make myself tell the lie. Even if it hadn’t been against the rules, I didn’t want to lie to him.

I may not have trusted him, but God help me, I didn’t want to lie to him… I couldn’t.

And just like with everything else when it came to Vaughn, that made absolutely no sense whatsoever.