A few weeks had passed and the Christmas break was hanging over us like a dark cloud on our otherwise perfect horizon. Jack and I had fallen into an easy routine. We spent as much of the week together as possible, when our lectures and his training at the gym allowed. Our flat had become the epitome of coupledom as, try as hard as they might to resist each other, Katy and Charlie were now sort of seeing each other too.

I say sort of, as they didn’t seem quite as accepting about their situation as we were about ours.

The constant thorn in our sides was the weekends. Jack started to get edgy around Friday lunchtime and would get more and more het up as the afternoon went on. I had explained that I had promised to go home every weekend, unless my parents were away. Which of course hadn’t happened again since the weekend of the fifties party I had gone to, back at the beginning of October.

‘I think we’ve done enough, don’t you?’ I asked as I pushed my laptop away from me on the dining room table. ‘Shall I submit it?’

‘Yeah.’ he replied. His conversation was generally limited to one-word answers on a Friday afternoon. I saved the document and pressed submit. Another essay done and dusted. It should have been cause for celebration, but the room was filled with the pain of the separation that would happen in just under two hours’ time.

Jack stood, scraping his chair across the floor. Although there was no smoking allowed in the flat, he moved himself over to the back window and pushed it open wide to light up. A cold blast of icy air hit me and I pulled my huge cardigan closer around myself, student accommodation heating wasn’t up to much. His hand delved into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a mangled cigarette packet, surprisingly the cigarettes themselves were unharmed. I listened to the sparking of his lighter and the quick inhale of breath as his lips made their first contact. I hadn’t questioned him yet about why he smoked, all I knew was he always smoked more on a Friday than any other day of the week, sometimes not at all on a Monday and Tuesday. I was scared to ask why he did it, because I knew that me going home seemed to make him smoke more than usual, and I felt guilty about it.

It didn’t repulse me when he smoked, in fact the smell on him kind of suited him. My only concern was for his health, but I could make no demands on him. I was after all promised to someone else.

I stood up from my chair and made my way to where he stood blowing smoke out of the window. Needing contact with him I pushed my hands down deep inside the back pockets of his jeans and rested my forehead against his back. I just waited until he was ready to speak.

‘Don’t go home, Lils.’ The pleading in his voice reached out to me. I knew somewhere deep down that one day he would ask the same question and I wouldn’t be able to deny him.

‘You know I have to.’ I heard him flick the butt of the cigarette out of the window and place a mint in his mouth. The recognisable clicks in his neck started as he rolled his head around out of habit.

‘You’ve tried to explain why. But every fucking week it gets harder and fucking harder to see ya leave. I hate the thought of you being in anyone else’s arms but mine. I understand about pleasing your parents, Lils, but for fucks sake you’re twenty-four. How much longer are you going to go on doing it?’ He spun around quickly then and took me in his arms. I gratefully felt his arms come around me and he held me so tight to him I thought he would never let go.

‘I’m sorry, Lily. I know I promised I wouldn’t push you. I know how difficult this is for you and I promised to give you time to do it on your own terms. Just forget I said anything.’ His deep voice rumbled underneath my head.

I lifted my head up from his chest and looked at him.

‘I know this is far from an idyllic situation. I know how my relationship with my parents is difficult to grasp, but yes I do need to do this on my own terms and I need to o…’ I nearly said obey, but managed to pull myself up short. ‘I just need to let them all down gently that’s all. You know I don’t see Anton all that much. I’ve seen him only once this month. I’m not spending my weekends in his arms, of that I can assure you… I hope you can believe me?’

‘I believe you, but I’m finding it really fucking hard to work out why he doesn’t want to be with ya all the time, like I do. If I was engaged to you, I would never let you leave my side.’

I pushed myself up as far as possible on my tiptoes and placed a kiss on his lips.

‘Bit of luck we’re not engaged then, baby, isn’t it?’ I smiled hoping to lift the heavy atmosphere.

He leant his bum back onto the windowsill and placed his legs either side of me. He pulled me as far into his body as possible, by placing his hands onto my bum cheeks, and leant his forehead against mine.

‘Have I told ya how much I love it when you call me baby.’ He smiled.

‘I think you may have…’ I placed a longer kiss to his lips, exploring his warm flesh with my own in just the way he had taught me. He, like always, accepted all I was willing to give and didn’t push for more.

I needed to step this up. I wanted more, and I needed it before we went our separate ways

‘Jack, I have under two hours until I leave, can we… you know?’ My face burnt with the heat of embarrassment. We had been seeing each other for a few weeks and I had been slowly coming to terms with my own sexuality, something that hadn’t even occurred to me before I had come away to university. Sure, I would have read a romantic novel before and felt something stirring inside me, and then I had often gone for a ride out on Beauty; holding her between my legs was as intimate as I had ever been with anyone. But being with Jack, who was such a sexual creature, had awakened things inside me that I hadn’t even realised existed. He had so much patience with me, something Katy had said she had never seen in him before. I now knew what it felt like to want someone. He made me crave his touch. And the sound of his voice as it dropped to a deeper level as we made out, was enough for me to beg him to take it further.

We hadn’t gone that far. Jack had allowed me time to explore my body and his at my own pace. I knew the time for going carefully had come to an end. I wanted him desperately in every way I could get him. I was as sure as I could be, even in my innocence, that the way his body reacted to my touch meant that he wanted me too.

‘Say what you’re asking for, Lils. You know I don’t play guessing games. If ya want something you need to use words.’ He finished speaking and sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, I could feel his tongue flicking over it. Finally, he released it with a pop and a cheeky smile spread over his mouth, his tongue once again found its place behind his teeth showing me the pink flesh that I loved to feel on my body.

‘I think you just enjoy making me blush.’

‘I enjoy bringing colour to various parts of ya. You’re wasting time, Lils, how do you want to spend our last hour and a half together?’

‘I want to make out with you, Jack. I want to touch you and I… I want you to make me come.’

A groan left his mouth as he picked me up with ease and sat me down onto what I now knew to be a very sizeable erection. His mouth found mine and I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly. Jack lifted me then and wrapped my legs around his waist. He began walking to his room. I couldn’t have been any readier. He had been priming me for weeks and I felt like I was ready to explode.

A voice interrupted our walk down the hallway. ‘Lily have you packed… don’t mind me I was just going out anyway.’ I heard Katy’s voice, but I was too far gone to answer. Jack kissed me with everything he had and I kissed him back like I had been kissing him for years. We kissed until all the air had left my lungs. I loved to suck on his tongue, it made his body tense in my arms and he stopped breathing altogether, just momentarily as all his focus was on the pleasure it seemed to give him.

I loved to give him pleasure.

I felt his stance change as he leant his shoulder into his door to open it. The door flew open and hit the place it always did, making yet another mark on the magnolia wall and probably causing a small amount of plaster pieces and dust to fall onto the floor. We entered the room still kissing like our lives depended on it and I heard the door slam back in its place. Jack had kicked it into submission.

In the small room, I noticed how the temperature started to creep up. We stood for ages just consuming each other with our mouths. Jack took it no further and I realised he was waiting for me to tell him what I wanted. That thought was hot, but so terrifying. I pulled my mouth reluctantly away from his.

‘I need to be naked with you, I want to feel all of you.’ I managed to boldly hold his gaze with my own.

Jack nodded and slowly let me come down his body. He stood back from me and pulled off the hoodie he was wearing, throwing it onto the floor at the side of him. His hands came back up and pulled his grey T-shirt over his head, then he released the buckle on his belt and undid the first two buttons of his jeans. All of this was done without ever removing his brilliant blue eyes from mine. I knew enough about Jack to know his eyes were bright blue in colour, but when he was turned on they ignited like the blue at the very centre of a fire, creating a brilliance I knew I would never tire of looking at.

‘You have me, Lils, now what?’

‘Can you undress me please?’ My voice was starting to shake in trepidation.

‘That, my beautiful girl, would be an absolute fucking pleasure.’

He closed the gap between us and started to push my cardigan down and off my shoulders. As he did so his lips found my neck and he started to lay kiss after kiss on the very sensitive skin he found there. I closed my eyes and gasped at the pleasure he created. Deep inside my core I started to throb. I was used to this feeling now as he had made it happen more than a few times, but previously he hadn’t ever taken me further. I was sure that this is what would lead to my ultimate release, and not for the first time I grasped on to the fact that I wanted to explore that feeling with Jack.

I felt the cooler air hit my now exposed skin as he undid the buttons on the shirt of his that I had been borrowing and it fell to the floor around my feet. The fine hair on my arms stood to attention. Deftly, and still without moving his head up from his administrations on my neck, I felt him undo my bra with one pinch and twist of his fingers. The fabric skimmed down over my needy, sensitive flesh and brushed over my erect nipples. I was so turned on that the simple touch of the fabric caused me to gasp out loud.

Jack started to lower me to the bed and moved his hot mouth to suck one of my hard nipples into his mouth. I lifted my hands and ran them over his hard, lean back, occasionally running my nails up his smooth skin. I was so desperate for something more that it was all I could do to stop my body from writhing away under his touch. I felt him press a hand onto my stomach as if to anchor me down, causing my core to throb with more strength than before. He licked each of my nipples in turn and then scraped his closed teeth over them. I was lost in a vortex of absolute pleasure. When he stopped suddenly and I felt the mattress right itself, I opened my eyes to find him standing to the side of the small bed. His eyes swept up and down, surveying my body.

‘You’re so fucking sexy. Do ya know that?’

I shook my head with embarrassment at his perusal.

‘Words, Lils. I wanna hear your words.’ I watched as he moved down to the foot of the bed and pulled hard on the bottom of my skinny fit jeans. Surprisingly they came off in one pull. I lifted my head from the pillow to watch as he slowly pushed his own jeans off his hips, exposing his cock to me for the first time. I had felt it before from over his jeans and had even placed my hand inside his unbuttoned fly when we had been making out. I had marvelled then at just how hot it felt, but I had never seen it before. It was large and smooth, with a shiny head that I longed to touch with my tongue, and it pulsed occasionally as I looked at it.

‘Do ya know how much I want to feel you lose control, Lils?’ His deep voice snapped my eyes back up to his. ‘I want to take ya so far over the edge, your only way back will be with me… Do ya want to come, Lils?’ The control in his voice had me mesmerised.

‘Yes.’ I spoke so breathlessly that even I struggled to recognise the sound coming from my lips.

‘Thank fuck… I’ve been dreaming of this moment,’ he hissed out between his teeth and momentarily closed his eyes at my answer.

I watched as Jack came back to the bed, moving my legs apart to kneel in the space that was left behind. Sudden panic came over me then, we hadn’t discussed birth control. I certainly wasn’t on the pill.

‘Relax.’ His hand lifted and he ran his fingertips over my stomach until he brushed over my knickers, once again my body instinctively arching up under his touch. He bent down and placed a kiss to my pubic mound through the lace panel and I heard myself moan. I watched as the gorgeous man rocked himself back up. Lifting and moving my legs he peppered kisses to the inside of my ankles as he slowly removed my knickers away from my hips and down my legs, until finally they were added to the heap on the floor. His fingers ran up the inside of my thighs until they reached the apex.

‘Oh God,’ fell from my mouth.

‘I’m going to make you come so hard, Lils. I want your virginity, I want to be the first man inside you… but that ain’t gonna happen today. Once I’ve been inside ya, once I’ve felt your warm, wet walls grip around my cock, I’ll never let you out of my fucking sight, ever again.’

My eyes flew to his in panic, panic that I wasn’t going to get what I wanted and needed.

‘Don’t worry, I’m still gonna take care of ya… we’re gonna take care of each other.’ The expression on his face reassured me.

He stopped speaking and his head dipped down to place his face where I needed him the most. I felt the first sweep of his tongue against my throbbing lips and nearly came with that one solitary connection. All I could focus on was the hot, wet sweep of his tongue as he explored every single part of me down below. I had never felt anything like it. It was an intimate intrusion and I loved it. I loved it that Jack wanted me like this. I opened my eyes and lifted my head, feeling a rhythmic movement. Jack had his hand wrapped firmly around his hard cock and was moving it firmly up and down the shaft, as his mouth continued to lick and explore me. His other hand was once again placed into the middle of my stomach as he pushed down gently, if possible it seemed to make what I was feeling more intense. The moment he groaned with his impending release, the vibration hit my clit and I knew I was about to feel the first orgasm of my life. My core throbbed more strongly than ever before and the feeling travelled like a living being throughout the whole of my body, trying to force itself free of its constraints. I couldn’t keep my head up any more as a burst of rainbow colour hit the inside of my eyelids. My head found its way back onto the pillow with a thump and all the air seemed to leave the room as he sucked my beaded clit into his mouth.

‘Ahh, Jack… I think I’m going to come.’ My body convulsed over and over again, exhausting me as it wracked through my body. When I was spent, he pulled me up by one hand and wrapped my other around his cock. He placed his hand over mine and showed me exactly what he needed. I concentrated hard, desperate to know exactly what he wanted and followed the exact movement he was showing me, making sure my small hand twisted a little as it caressed the head. In turn my thumb rubbed over the clear wet liquid already forming on his crown.

‘FUCK!’ he roared. It was the most incredible sound I had ever witnessed. I couldn’t decide what I wanted to watch more, his beautiful face as he came, or the white, hot liquid that was shooting out. I watched as his orgasm was sent up in spurts over his abdomen and my hand.

When he had finished, he sat back on his haunches and sighed, opening his eyes and smiling at me. Moving himself, he cleaned us up and lay down next to me. Wordlessly, he took me in his arms, kissing me on the top of my head. In the silence, I stroked my index finger over his very prominent Adams apple, unable to stop touching him.

I knew after what we had just shared together, it was without a doubt going to be even harder leaving him to go home.