I had found a pretty little dress in the pile of clothes that Mrs. Carpenter had left for me. It was a ditsy flowery print in different shades of green on a navy background. Jack had even ironed it for me. I stood in front of the mirror in the bedroom, smoothing down the fabric over my body, not quite believing my eyes. The dress was gorgeous, with a fitted bodice, navy lace over the shoulders and a short full skirt. But it wasn’t the dress that I couldn’t quite believe, it was the difference in me. It was surprising what love and happiness could do to a person.

I hadn’t seen the woman in front of me for a couple of years. My hair was almost my natural colour and the dye had conditioned it so it shone beautifully in the sunlight. Katy had brought a few bits of make-up with her and I had used some mascara and eyeliner to accentuate my green eyes. But it was my skin that gave off the most dramatic effect. I looked glowing, gone was the pasty-looking ghost. Once outside my skin tanned easily and in just the few times I had been outdoors over the last couple of days it had absorbed the sun like a sponge.

‘Ready, babe?’ Jack’s arms crept around my middle and his eyes found mine in the mirror.

‘As I’ll ever be,’ I answered.

‘You look good enough to eat,’ he winked.

I opened my eyes wide at the comment, remembering how we had spent our morning on the settee and then again in the huge shower.

He relaxed his arms from around me as he tipped back on his heels and laughed at the look on my face. He held up his open palms in a surrender pose and smiled at me, showing me his devil of a tongue as it protruded slightly through the open gap between his teeth.

‘Come on, beautiful girl, let’s go show you off.’ His arm raised to offer me his hand. I grabbed hold of it and followed behind him from our bedroom all the way out to the dark grey sports car that sat out on the gravel driveway.

I loved walking behind him, it gave me chance to appreciate the man I loved. Jack, as ever, was in jeans and boots, but for the first time I could remember he was wearing a sky-blue, button-down collar Oxford shirt, with the sleeves rolled up exposing his well-developed forearms. The slightly washed-out black jeans seemed to be newer than others I had seen. They fitted across his backside like a glove and I got to watch every muscle in his arse move in front of me. I licked my lips and put my free hand up to my mouth to stop a laugh traitorously appearing when I became aware of my behaviour. I tore my eyes away from the flex of his muscles and realigned them on the usual prominent bump of his cigarette packet and lighter.

He opened the door to the car and I got in. Within a few minutes, we were speeding away from the house. Jack drove the way he did everything else in life, fast and with purpose. The car may have been brand new, but the gravel hitting the paintwork didn’t seem to faze him at all.

Countryside flickered past my window. The high banks on either side of the narrow lanes had thick green foliage broken by streams of sunlight. I knew summer wouldn’t last much longer and I normally looked forward to autumn, but not this year.

‘These lanes all look the same to me. You’d have to be local to find your way around here,’ I stated, as I understood how safe that made me feel.

‘I could do this run with my eyes closed. Turn left as you leave the drive, then next right, next left and so on.’

‘Oh, like a zig-zag.’ I smiled over at him as he took us around the next corner.

‘Yep.’

We sat in comfortable silence as the local radio station played in the background. I sang along quietly with a few of the songs as Jack competently drove us through the rest of the narrow lanes.

Less than thirty minutes later we drove into a small village. It had everything that was familiar from a village I had lived near as a child. The triangular stone war memorial that was part of most Kent villages, the single red telephone box, and the small cottages in neat rows on either side of the street. Traditionally the houses in villages like these had been punctuated with shops and pubs. But all this small village had left was one pub, one corner shop, and squinting to look further down the street at the only other shop I could see, it looked like a haberdashery. How on earth was that still going? In years gone by, bakers and butchers would have had a place here, but times were changing and even they were losing out to big supermarkets. I even wondered if Katy’s dad’s bakery was still open.

Jack was reversing the car into a space on the left-hand side of the street.

‘It’s beautiful here, Jack. I’ve missed spending time in places like this.’ I turned to smile at him.

‘Yep, I’m lucky that a few old friends and Jasmin live here, so I get to visit a lot.’

‘Your mum and dad don’t live here then?’

‘No, dad’s practice is in the next village over. But our friends Ben and Emma run the pub, Connor’s parents own the corner shop and Amy runs that old shop down the street.’ He paused and pointed at what I had been staring at earlier. ‘It sells a bit of everything, she runs it for her gran… So, with them all here, I visit quite a bit,’ he continued.

‘It must be great to have somewhere like this to call home…Is Jasmin and John’s house nearby?’

‘Their house is just behind us. They’ve got the one that has a double frontage with the black glossed door.’ He removed the key from the engine and shifted his body to look at me. ‘We’re just on time, I can see the others coming. They’ve probably parked at the pub.’ I followed his gaze to see a few happy looking people coming down the street towards the cottage, clutching gifts mainly wrapped in pink.

‘Who’s going to be here today, Jack?’

He leant over closer to me, once again picking up my hand and kissing my fingers in reassurance. Together we peered through the windscreen and watched the people walking towards where we sat.

‘You can see my mum and dad.’ I nodded in answer, but I was looking past them. It was the woman behind them that caught my eye. She was beautiful, tall with long blonde hair, it was the same woman I had previously seen kiss Jack. A visceral pain contracted around my heart.

‘Who is that just behind them, the blonde-haired lady?’ I asked the question feeling a ball of jealousy uncurl in the pit of my stomach.

‘Lady my arse!’ He laughed deeply. ‘That’s my sister Bella and if you look a bit further down the street you’ll be able to see her husband Nate, he’s the tattooed guy with a bit of a limp… Can you see him?’

I was still taking in that the woman I had seen kiss Jack was his sister. I could feel the jealousy melting away and a huge smile breaking out on my face. ‘Oh… your sister Bella… and yes, yes I can see him.’ I looked at Nate for a few seconds taking him in. The way he laughed with the slightly taller, dark-haired man walking next to him made him seem approachable, even though the tattoos would have normally kept me away.

‘Who is he walking with?’

‘Oh, that’s his brother Alex and his wife Frankie, she’s Bella’s best friend from way back. The little boy on Alex’s shoulders is their son Ben.’

‘They’re a good-looking bunch, aren’t they?’

I watched as he hunched his shoulders down to peer through the glass again. Almost like he had never really looked at them properly before.

‘Yep… I come from a good-looking family,’ he teased and gave me a wink as I tore my head away from them to give him a knowing look. He smiled back at me as he took in my expression. ‘Can honestly say I ain’t ever really thought about it before.’

I slapped my hand down on his thigh.

‘Of course, you haven’t,’ I uttered sarcastically.

We waited until they had all walked past Jack’s car. They were far too engrossed in their conversations to notice us, or maybe they were just allowing us some breathing space? Whatever it was I was grateful to get out the car after they had passed, a hint of shyness was coming over me. After what Jack’s mum and dad had seen and helped me with, I was unsure of how they would be today. It was one thing helping another human being in need, but having that same individual, who brought so much baggage and danger with her, infiltrate your family was completely different.

Jack got out of the car and walked around to my door, he opened it and offered me one of his large hands to stand up. I took hold of it feeling the familiar fizz of electricity spark between us and then I stopped moving for a minute to watch. The black glossed door was opened by a woman, who had to be Jasmin. She smiled her welcome to her family at the doorway and said something that I couldn’t catch. She was beautiful just like Bella, but short like me I thought with a smile. I got out of the car and smoothed down my dress nervously and then letting go of Jack’s hand I began to flick at my nails with agitation.

‘You look stunning, babe… stop fucking fidgeting.’ He pulled my hand back into his and gave it a squeeze as he walked us towards the still open door.

Everyone disappeared through the doorway and finally it was Jack and I left.

‘Big sis, this is Lily… my housekeeper,’ I heard Jack say and I watched Jasmin smile in answer.

‘You’re very welcome, Lily, please come in, everyone’s going through to the garden. But please, Jack, keep the noise down to a dull roar as John’s only just got Sofia to sleep.’

Jack, remembering his manners, brought me from behind him and propelled me into the doorway in front of him. I felt our hands leave each other’s as Jasmin held onto his shoulder to whisper something in his ear.

Jack groaned and smiled at her. ‘Long story, now stop the Spanish inquisition and let me go see my new niece.’

He grabbed my hand quickly and walked me through the beautiful cottage. It had been painstakingly restored and they had made a wonderful home together. We walked out into the bright sunshine at the back of the house. Give everyone their due, they didn’t offer me any questioning looks just smiles of welcome as Jack walked us around the garden. He introduced me as his housekeeper Lily, with a permanently huge grin attached to his face.

I loved the afternoon.

Jack’s family were loving, friendly and visibly happy to spend time with each other. I was upbeat and friendly sharing their happiness with them. I had never spent time before with such a large group of family and friends who were evidently there for each other in times of need with, it seemed, little or no questions asked.

All the couples laughed and teased each other. The testosterone was heavy in the air, but the women were strong in their own right and soon put the “alphas” in their place when they felt it was necessary. The depth of love they all felt for each other was very apparent.

In the middle of the perfect afternoon, I was sat under a weeping ash tree at the end of the garden playing with Alex and Frankie’s little boy Ben and a rather intrigued brown Labrador called Coco. She belonged to Jassy and John and clearly loved to be with children, but as the new addition to her family was too young to lick, Ben became the object of her affections. I stroked her soft, velvet-like ears reminiscing about Fox as I did so.

Jack spent time with the other males in his family. Lots of laughter and swearing was hitting my ears and I couldn’t help but smile at them all. Looking up again from my game of building brick towers with Ben, I saw Bella walking towards me. I had wanted to talk to her all afternoon. I wasn’t sure exactly what to say, but I knew I wanted to acknowledge that I understood what had happened to her and was probably the only one here who knew first-hand what it had taken to stand up against the Antonescus.

‘You’re a bloody natural,’ she opened with as she reached the very edge of the blanket Ben and I were sitting on.

‘He’s so laid back and happy, anyone could make him laugh,’ I offered.

Her knees bent as she began to carefully lower her pregnant self to sit down next to me.

‘He’s laid back because his parents have been waiting for him and each other all their lives… He’s their cherry on the top…aren’t you, baby Ben?’ she smiled and he gurgled something back at his aunt from a dribble-filled mouth. The dribble then exploded in torrents down his chin and on to his neckerchief bib. I leant forward to dab up the mess.

‘When are you due?’ I asked as I watched Bella’s hand lovingly caress her very neat baby bump. With all the babies around, I was missing Harry more than ever. I closed my eyes and sent him my love. I wanted my baby boy to have a family life like this, he deserved it. What made it worse was knowing he was entitled to it. That caused more pain inside me than any of my thoughts, my fears or what I had been through. More than absolutely anything.

‘The beginning of December. Luckily, I have a little wiggle room as Nate’s last race is on the 4th of November. So, hopefully we will be ready and waiting.’ Bella’s voice broke through my thoughts.

I looked over at the figure of Nathan, who upon instinct turned when she mentioned his name. He ran his hand through his hair, tipped his chin at her and blew her a kiss.

‘What does Nathan race?’ I questioned, not for the first time feeling like there was so much more to this family than first met the eye.

‘Oh, are you not up to date with us all?’ She smiled her question at me almost bursting with joy at being able to gossip.

‘Not even a little bit.’ I smiled back.

‘Right then…return the gorgeous boy to his mum and come back. I can fill you in on all our juicy details.’

I did as I was asked and returned quickly with two jugs filled to the brim with homemade lemonade, with chunks of lemon and mint that I thought we could sit and sip at while I listened to Bella.

She spent nearly an hour getting me up to speed with all the details. It was wonderful spending time with her. I had been disappointed to find that Katy hadn’t arrived with Charlie, but with Bella next to me chatting like my long-lost best friend, I needn’t have worried.

I watched as some new people arrived, walking into the garden from the house. I looked up at the two men and two women and automatically politely smiled my welcome. My smile died on my lips when I recognised one of the women. Bella was still chatting away next to me, but my brain could only concentrate on watching Laura.

She immediately looked for Jack as soon as she had adjusted her eyes to the sunlight. She walked over and dug her fingers quickly into his sides. He jumped around to face her and politely bent to kiss her cheek in welcome. To my joy, he then turned instantly back to talk to Alex, leaving her plan thwarted. Undeterred she looked around the garden to find me, just as Bella stood up and declared she would go to refill our drinks. I nodded my thanks to Bella and watched as Laura flounced over. I’m not sure how it is you recognise that someone is out to cause you trouble, but it was evident on Laura’s face as she walked towards me.

‘There you are,’ she stated.

‘Laura,’ I acknowledged.

‘I have something for you… But first I need to tell you something.’ The smile of victory was already across her face.

‘Right,’ I answered, trying not to sound as hesitant as I felt.

‘I don’t know what Jack has told you about us…’

‘Jack says there is no “us” as in you and him,’ I interrupted.

Her hands found her hips in defiance. ‘Not since you’ve been here, no. But before, we had a good thing going, if you get my meaning?’

I did, my stomach turned over and I moved my eyes around the garden to find Jack. He had disappeared into the house to help bring out the food. I was disappointed that I couldn’t get any reassurance from him, suddenly aware that I had to listen to this on my own.

My fingers found the hem of my pretty dress and started to worry with it.

‘I’m carrying Jack’s baby. I need you to butt the hell out of his life and go back to where he found you. He deserves to be happy.’ She fumbled around in her small bag for a moment and dropped an expensive champagne-coloured envelope onto the blanket next to me. I knew instantly who it was from. ‘Here, I was asked to give you this. It’s your way back home. Ring the number and go back to where you belong. You can’t make him happy and we can.’ I watched her move her hand over her flat stomach and the lemonade I had just drunk appeared once again in the back of my throat.

She turned around and walked away and I let her without a reply or retort.

I picked up the envelope, folded it and pushed it down into the front of my dress. I looked down to the hem of my dress, and tried to smooth out the creases I had just put there.

A loud shout broke me out of my self-induced trance.

John, who had been attending to the cooking on the barbeque, suddenly shouted causing us all to stop what we were doing and watch as the huge man picked up his wife Jasmin and spun her around in his arms. Bella sat down as quick as she could manage next to me and placed our drinks on the floor.

‘JESUS. H. CHRIST!’ John shouted. Coco left me for the first time and bounded over to run circles around them both, barking as she did so.

‘You, my wife, never cease to fucking amaze me. Can I tell them?’ John asked Jasmin.

‘I think you’d better, they’re waiting to know what on earth has come over you.’

They both turned around to face up the garden. Jasmin was bursting with happiness and placed her arm around her husband’s waist. John held on gently to her neck.

‘Family and friends, my wife has just given me the second-best gift any man could want, second only to our new baby daughter, Sofia. I’m not sure how it happened but… well, it appears Jasmin is pregnant.’

Cheers and shouts rang out all around us.

I heard Nate shouting something at John as Bella’s hand came across the blanket to find mine. She squeezed it gently and I turned to her. We both had tears running down our faces and as hard as I tried to smile beneath them, I knew that she recognised that mine were for an entirely different reason to hers.

‘When you need me, Lily…I’ll do everything in my power to help you. I promise you there is a way out.’ I tried to summon the strength to squeeze hers back, but shock had left me devoid of anything.

I had been trying to find the exact words all afternoon to tell her that I knew about and lived in her worse nightmare.

I needn’t have bothered, it appeared she had known all along.