As every mile disappeared behind me, and with it the pretence of my family life, I had slowly begun to relax. The distance now between us, allowed the knotted feeling that I had struggled to conceal deep down inside me for the past few weeks, to very gingerly begin to unravel.

Butterflies and feelings of excitement started to take their place.

I looked out of the window at the frost-covered fields, thinking how pretty everything looked. It was mid-January and winter had taken the normally green Kent countryside and dusted it with glitter.

Everything about the world seemed so much brighter and more positive this morning, all because I knew that Jack was waiting for me at the flat we shared. I had never had the chance to miss anyone in my life before, everyone who I had mistakenly thought meant something to me had always been around. It was exhilarating and made me feel, perhaps for the first time ever, alive.

The difference was that I had been told how to live before, only allowed to exist within my parents’ strict confines. Jack had awakened me. I was now living for me and no one else.

The intense feeling of depravation, of not being with the one person I wanted to be with, had almost at times over the past few weeks been completely overwhelming. I wanted to be close to him, to be able to reach out and touch him, just because I could. I wanted to press my needy lips to his and have him kiss me like I was sure he needed to. I wanted to catch him looking at me as we worked together. I wanted to watch him deep in thought caressing his earlobe, while he thought on a problem. Just the idea of witnessing him proffer me a wink as he teased me with his words, or as he licked his bottom lip, had my insides nearly shouting out with their need. I knew Jack was really good looking, almost beautiful in a masculine way, not only to me but it seemed to most of the female population as he turned heads wherever he went. But the way he took care of me, the way he seemed to want me in return was different. There was something bigger between us than just a university fling, it had taken me until our forced separation over the holidays to recognise it.

Up to now I had known he was holding himself back, letting me play catch up. I needed the familiar zing to enter my system as our bare skin touched. As I remembered that feeling of my body igniting under his administrations, I knew I wanted to be the woman he needed me to be.

I needed to experience it, I craved to explore it and I wanted to luxuriate in it.

I had fidgeted with my fingernails for at least the last hour of the journey, I’d hoped it would made me look nervous. I couldn’t betray how happy I was to my driver. He was a member of my father’s small security team and he would be watching my body language and wouldn’t think twice about reporting it back to my father.

At long last, the Mercedes pulled up outside of the building. I looked out from the blacked-out window, just the familiarity of the view made my happiness soar. The rest of the campus seemed desolate, other students would be arriving over the next few days, and today people would be scarce. I had used the excuse of coming back early for work that needed attending to.

I had never lied to my parents before, but had absolutely no hesitation in doing so now. After finding out that our life together was built on lies, I was sure that me adding one more wasn’t going to make any difference whatsoever.

‘Thank you.’ I stepped out into the cold morning through the door that Bogdan had opened wide for me.

‘Shall I carry your case upstairs?’ I glanced up for the first time and looked at him. I made sure that I looked him straight in the eye, making sure he could see no hesitation or trepidation.

‘No, thanks. I can manage. Get back to my father, I’m sure he has other things for you to do.’

‘Very well. I’ll let him know that you arrived safely, see you on Friday.’ Bogdan jumped back in the front seat and slammed the door, effectively cutting me off from a life I’d rather not ever have to face again.

I made no attempt to turn away, I wanted to make sure he had left. I pretended to fumble with my keys as an excuse for why I wasn’t going inside. Slowly the huge silver car pulled away from the kerb and turned right and out of my sight.

“Friday.”

It was surprising how one small insignificant word could send shivers of panic up and down your spine. I closed my eyes freeing myself of the thought. I slowly started to wheel the small case up the path to the building and punched the code into the keypad to gain entrance. I wasn’t quite sure exactly where Jack was, but I knew he was nearby as my body could feel him. I pulled open the large door and timed my entrance impeccably with its slow closure system and darted inside its comforting confines. The entrance was grubby and truth be told not as fresh smelling as it could be, but to me it was the most welcoming place on earth. I had felt sure that Jack would have been waiting somewhere downstairs for me, he knew that he needed to remain out of sight, but even so. My happiness dropped slightly at the thought that he wasn’t as desperate to see me as I was him and I heard a loud sigh leave my lips. I moved slowly towards the stairs and then I saw it, the sign that I needed.

My heart skipped a beat as I watched a thin tendril of smoke appear between the open steps and rise into the cold air around us. I heard the familiar click of his nails as he flicked the cigarette butt out of an open window, and then I heard his boots clunk on the concrete floor as he made his way from out of his hiding place under the stairs.

‘What’s up, Lils? Did ya think I wouldn’t be waiting as near as I could?’

I couldn’t answer, I was too busy just taking him in, and he certainly was a sight for my concerned eyes. His blond hair had been freshly cut which drew my attention to his bright blue eyes and cleft chin even more than normal. I noticed a few of the customary yellowing bruises on his face. His head was tipped slightly to one side as he asked me his question. He had on an unbuttoned, red checked shirt over an old, faded grey T-shirt, which was stretched over what seemed to be an ever-broadening expanse of hardening muscle. Black, worn jeans were haphazardly tucked into the top of his unlaced boots. I watched as his hands that were forced down inside his pockets came out suddenly and his arms opened wide waiting for me to walk over and step into them.

I didn’t walk.

I flew towards him and landed with a thud against his chest. My arms snaked quickly around his waist and I breathed in everything I needed to about him. I breathed him in like he was my drug.

‘Never doubt me, Lils. I heard ya sigh when you thought I wasn’t waiting for you. I’ll always be here, never doubt that.’

I lifted my head and leant my chin on his chest as I looked up at him. His mouth slowly dipped towards mine. I could just see him wet his lower lip with his tongue. Flicking it out and grazing it along the flesh that I so wanted to taste. I did the only thing my body would allow and used one hand to grab the front of his T-shirt in an attempt to pull his lips down to mine. I saw the smirk as it spread across his face, he had felt my desperation for him and pulled back slightly. With another wink he gave me what I had wordlessly begged for, our lips met and it was like the first time all over again.

This time though, we met as equals. I wasn’t the innocent I had been before, I was now the woman that he had awakened in me. Our mouths met, already open and eager for the connection it would bring. Our tongues danced with each other’s. I nipped, licked and explored anything that was available. I wanted him badly and I needed to show him that. The passion that he had slowly unlocked within me came crashing to the surface as our teeth bashed together. I drew back slightly at the intense feelings being unfurled in me and took in a gasp of air.

‘I’ve missed you so much. I want you, Jack, in every way possible. I know you’ve been going slow with me, but I need you… I need you to show me how much I mean to you,’ I managed to whisper through the small gap available.

His head lifted away from mine quickly, but his hold on my body strengthened as if he was waiting for me to slip from his fingers.

‘Do ya realise what you’re asking for, Lils? Up to now I’ve let you take control… that ain’t normal for me, but it was what you needed. If we do this, everything changes. The pendulum will swing and the control will become mine.’

‘I don’t care… I want you, Jack. I want you in every way available to me. I want to have sex with you. I want to share everything with you.’ I could feel the heat in my face as the words left my mouth.

‘I can give ya sex. Jesus… I can fuck you into next week. But I want to make love to you, Lils… It’ll be the first time for both of us… I want to give you me.’ He rubbed the tip of his nose gently to mine. ‘Are you sure about this?’

‘Yes… I’d like you to make love to me the first time, but after that can we fuck? It sounds like fun.’ I sucked my cheek in and bit on it just a little, in my nervous state. I had never bantered before about sex and swearing still sounded wrong coming from my mouth. ‘I’m sure.’ I added when his eyebrows lifted to question me.

‘Once I start, Lils, I ain’t gonna stop. You know that, don’t you?’ He pushed the hair away from my forehead, so he could see into my eyes, appearing to not quite trust my words.

‘Yes, I know.’ My voice was breathy and heavy with lust.

I hadn’t realised until now, but Jack had manoeuvred us underneath the stairs to where he had been smoking previously, effectively taking us away from any prying eyes.

‘Hold on, babe. We need to move. I want ya naked and spread out for my eyes only. Here is not the fucking place to lose your virginity.’ He smiled down at me and lifted me up with ease. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist as he raised me up into his arms and I draped my arms around his shoulders. His long legs covered the distance from our hidey hole to the foot of the stairs. Jack started to climb them as he stared into my eyes, as if he was still trying to look deeper.

‘What about my case?’ I asked as we started to leave the hallway behind.

His eyes opened a little wider in question and then he stepped down backwards. I felt his stance change underneath me. Suddenly, I heard the noise of my case as it skidded on the floor and it crashed into the wall under the stairs with a bang. He smiled his cheeky smile at me teasing me with a glimpse of his tongue, and my insides sparked back to life just watching that one solitary action.

‘You don’t need clothes, babe, not where we’re going. There ain’t no one else due back at the flat for a couple of days. All you’re gonna need is me, some food and more of me. I might let you outta bed to shower, but then again maybe not. I’ll carry the case up once I’ve fucked you up against the wall under the stairs.’

The man’s confidence was absolute. His words made my core tighten, and wet hit the top of my thighs. He strode up the stairs still carrying me in his arms, like I weighed nothing at all.

I had the keys to our flat in my hand, but I needn’t have bothered. The door had been left on the catch and allowed Jack’s booted foot to kick it open. I was sure he was just going to carry on to his room, not caring if the door closed securely or not. My thoughts must have made me tense up a little.

‘It’s ok, Lils… I’m gonna check it’s closed behind me. Believe me, babe… I’m not sharing you with anyone, not now and if I had my way not ever again,’ he said as he stopped suddenly and leant his back against the white glossed door, pushing into it with his shoulders. The door made a strong resonating click as the lock slid into place.

It was as if our relationship had stepped up a whole level. I had noticed in the ten minutes I had been back that Jack had called me babe a couple of times and I liked it, really liked it. I knew how old I was, but for the first time ever I felt my age and not like some voyeur watching other grown-ups live their lives.

This was me and I was finally living.

‘That’s it, Lils, relax. I’ve got ya.’ As he said the words I realised that he had. Yes sure, he had me in the literal way, but he’d got me in other ways too. He recognised within me things that I didn’t recognise in myself, he could read my body language and sounds that left my mouth. He understood me and reacted to my needs.

I drew my arms back from behind his neck. I seriously didn’t understand what I had done in my life to deserve this man in it. I placed my hands on his cheeks, holding on to the face I adored, as he continued walking down the corridor towards his room. I ran my fingers over the stubble that hadn’t been shaved away and brushed my thumbs over his cheek bones. As I watched his eyes started to dilate, I brought his mouth quickly back to mine, needing to feel our strong connection. I lost myself in that kiss, and only once I felt my body beginning to lower did I realise we were in Jack’s room.

‘Take off your clothes.’ Jack spoke as he stepped away from me. ‘Don’t be embarrassed, Lils, I wanna see all of your beautiful body. I want you to give yourself to me.’

My face flamed instantly at his words. I slipped off my shoes and lifted my wool jumper away from my body. The clothing I was stood in front of him in was clothing from home and I was only too pleased to rid myself of it. I didn’t want this experience to be tainted with memories. With that thought, I hurriedly removed every other item I was wearing and finally I was stood before him naked.

Jack took a couple of steps backwards in the small room, it was enough to allow him to run his eyes very slowly up and down my needy flesh.

‘Turn around, Lils… slowly. I wanna take you in.’ He took hold of my hand and held it above his head, using it to help me twirl around in front of him.

I turned around in a circle, slowly like he asked, feeling empowered as I heard a hiss leave his mouth. I was too embarrassed to hold his gaze with my own and dipped my eyes to the carpet under my feet.

‘No… never look away from me. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever had the fucking pleasure of looking at. Don’t be ashamed, never be ashamed of who you are and what you want.’

How could it be that the gentle throbbing had already started deep inside me? Jack hadn’t touched me, all he had done was to instruct me.

I liked it. I wanted him to tell me exactly how it was going to be. I needed it, just as I needed him, badly.

All at once I was quickly engulfed into his arms. He was still fully dressed and the material of his clothes gently abraded my sensitive skin, my nipples hardened as they encountered the brushed cotton of his shirt and a shiver went down my spine. Jack turned me around in his arms and placed one arm around my waist. The other he draped across my shoulders, so my throat was caught in the crook of his arm. Even my breathing felt like it was now at his command.

His head dipped to my neck and I felt feather-like kisses start from my shoulder and then travel all the way up to the dip just below my earlobe. I could feel his warm breath inside the shell of my ear, and my knees started to shake. I was only still upright because of his strong arms wrapped around me. My earlobe was sucked into his mouth and I heard the whimper that left my mouth in response.

Jack moved and started to lower himself down onto the small single bed. He propped himself up against the corner of the wall and with his legs open wide I was brought down on top of him, his front to my back.

‘Bend your legs and put your feet on the edge of the bed.’

Without thinking twice, I did exactly what he asked of me.

‘Let your knees drop open.’

I relaxed my legs and let my knees drop to either side. The cooler air hit my soaked lips.

‘Look at yourself, Lils. Your body is desperate for my touch.’

I opened my eyes and caught Jack’s gaze in the small mirror on the back of his wardrobe door. He was gorgeous, still fully dressed and holding me in his arms. My eyes left his and watched as his hold on me changed. His hand at my waist sank down further, gently stroking the slight swell of my stomach and then two of his fingers slid into my open folds. I was already lost.

‘You are so fucking wet for me. I’m gonna make you come like this, Lils, in my arms where you can witness just how beautiful you are. Never doubt me, Lily… I’ll always be there for you.’

His fingers slid up and down creating a friction that sent tremors all over my body. My body started to move of its own free will, my back arched trying to push my already swollen clit further into his cupped hand. His other arm lowered from my shoulder and his fingertips started to caress around each of my areola. He lifted his fingers up to his mouth to wet them, then he grazed both of my needy nipples with the moisture. One after the other he tweaked them both into long, hard buds.

‘Oh… Jack.’ I looked once again into the small mirror. I didn’t recognise myself. My face and chest were flushed, my nipples were practically begging for more of his touch and then I looked at his face.

‘I love you, Lily.’

I read the words as they fell from his lips on a whisper. I realised that this was more than just an orgasm he was giving me, it was also a lesson in trust. With what was happening in my other life, I wasn’t sure which one I needed more.

His fingers that had been sliding in and out of my folds slowly and leisurely, now circled my swollen, needy clit with an ever-increasing rhythm.

My body soared higher and higher only being anchored by his arms around me. I shattered in his arms calling out his name.

Slowly, I came back down to earth and when I could focus again I found Jack’s gaze with my own in the small mirror.

‘What do ya want, Lils?’

‘I want you to show me everything. I want to do everything with you.’

My cock was so hard it took all I had to move her gently off me. I had never seen anything as hot as Lily coming apart in my arms. When she came shouting out my name, my cock flexed so hard against my button fly I thought I was gonna lose my load right there.

I had fucking dreamt of this moment, night after night as I lay in this bed with her on the other side of the thin wall. It was a relief to tell her how I felt. I’d never said the words to anyone else before, and the way I felt now I doubted I ever would.

I lifted her and pulled her up my body, groaning at the contact as her weight pushed into my demanding cock. Then I rolled her over to the side as gently as I could, her eyelids were heavy and her body sated. I held her in my arms as close as I could get her to me.

‘Jack?’

‘Yes, babe.’

‘Are we going to continue?’

I looked down, taking in the fact she was biting her bottom lip as she questioned me. I moved her soft hair away from her eyes so she could see me properly.

‘Yeah. We’re going to continue.’ I smirked at her desperate tone. ‘I was just giving you a breather. You’ll be pleading with me to give ya a break later.’ A laugh left my mouth.

I trailed my hand down from the side of her face and down her neck, watching as her skin reacted under my touch. Goosebumps formed on her skin ahead of my fingertips as she anticipated my next touch.

‘Your skin is so soft, Lils.’

I trailed my fingers as lightly as I could down over her tits, watching as she arched her back and tried to get my fingers where she wanted them the most. I trailed them down over her stomach building the anticipation. Her eyes closed and her head rolled back over my forearm as I held her. Her mouth opened and her tongue came out to wet her dry lips. I couldn’t hold back anymore. My hand came back up quickly and I cupped one of her heavy breasts in my hand. I squeezed it gently and rubbed my thumb over the hardening nub of her nipple.

‘Oh… please.’ Her eyes didn’t open, she was lost in the feeling.

The single bed wasn’t ideal, in fact trying to manoeuvre us both was a fucking pain in the arse. I dipped my head to her nipples and sucked one up quickly into my mouth. I ran my tongue around and around the lengthening bud and at the same time started to shuck off my shirt and kick my boots off my feet. Finally, they fell with a thud to the floor. The noise they made brought Lily to, and realising I was losing my clothes she started to run her hands over my exposed abs.

Feeling her hands on me, wanting to explore my body, was the biggest ever fucking rush.

‘I want all of your clothes off, Jack.’ Her small hand was tugging at the bottom of my T-shirt.

‘I’m on it, hold that thought.’ I smiled down at her.

I moved her out of my arms as tenderly as I could and jumped off the bed. I pulled my T-shirt off over my head and dumped it. Looking back at her lying naked on my bed expectantly I offered her a wink, which immediately brought a smile to her lips and a flush to her face.

She was a fucking fast learner, my beautiful girl.

As I undid my jeans and began to push them down over my hips I watched as again she bit down onto her bottom lip, fixed her eyes on mine and began to trail her hand tentatively down her stomach. She reached the lips of her pussy and watching my reaction she began to softly run her fingers over and through them.

Yep, she was a hell of a fast learner.

‘Open your legs, Lily. Let me watch as ya touch yourself.’

Without question, she once again bent her knees and with her feet together she allowed her knees to drop open. The sight of her lying on my bed showing me what she needed sent desire flooding through my whole body. I pushed my jeans off fast and watched her take in a small gasp as my cock broke free from his confines. I kicked my jeans to the side. Reaching down into my bedside cupboard I found a condom, tore off the wrapper and rolled it slowly down. Normally, I would have got her to do it, but I was so far fucking gone that if she just touched me wrong, I knew it would spark a chain reaction that I wasn’t gonna be able to control.

‘I want to feel you inside me.’

‘And you will, Lils. I need to make sure you’re ready first.’

I knelt by the side of the bed and ran my facial stubble lightly down between her tits and followed the scent of her arousal, placing kisses all over her pubic mound. I pushed my middle finger inside her hot, tight walls, feeling her stomach muscles tighten below my cheek was such a fucking turn on. She moaned in pleasure and I quickly swapped one finger for two.

Fuck me! She was so ready and so fucking tight.

‘Please… Jack…’

We’d waited long enough. I climbed onto the bed and found her mouth with mine, kissing her with the depth of feeling she stirred in me. The weight of my body was mainly on my forearms, but her arms wrapped around me and pulled me down to her. I rocked my hips, slightly running the head of my cock backwards and forwards through her creamy folds. As her nails gripped into my backside trying to convey her need, I finally pushed my cock into heaven, inch by inch.

I managed to sink in slowly using every piece of restraint I had. After making it about halfway I could feel the thick band of muscle tightening around my head.

‘Lils, this might sting a bit, but afterwards I’ll make it feel good. Just relax.’

‘I am… please, I need you all the way.’ Her voice came out in a whisper, but her actions said more. I felt her fingernails grip my arse cheeks firmly and she pulled me further into her.

‘Ahhhhh… I need all of you, Jack.’

My cock was sheathed all the way up to the hilt and I stopped waiting for her to adjust. I rested my forehead on hers and closed my eyes trying to think of something, anything but the intense feelings collecting together inside of me. But she invaded my every thought and all my senses at once.

‘I love you, Jack,’ she whispered into the shell of my ear.

I couldn’t hold on anymore. I moved in and out of her slowly at first and then with increasing tempo as we both chased our release. The sweat began to run down my back as I pumped in and out of her, making sure I angled my cock to connect with the spot she needed me to find. The moment I felt her walls begin to convulse against me I let go, sending my hot release deep inside her.

‘FUCK… Yes.’

It was my turn to collapse sated in her arms. I felt her hands gently running through my hair.

‘You ok, Lils?’

‘I am now… can we do that again, and soon?’ I smiled at her words, feeling the deep black mood I often carried with me lighten a few shades.

‘We can.’ My cock flexed inside her.

Lying there with her, the feeling that she was wholly mine consumed me. My overprotective streak was rearing up inside me. I knew I would do whatever it took to keep her safe. Something my dad had once said to me ran through my head, as Lily began to lick at my Adam’s apple, giving my re-awakened cock all the reason he needed to swell once again inside of her.

“In a world full of ‘guys,’ son, make sure you stand up and be a man.”