I woke up the next morning with Aubrey in my arms and I knew right then and there that I never wanted to wake up without her by my side again. I hugged her tighter and kissed the top of her head.
“I could get used to waking up like this, McGraw.”
I smiled, she was thinking the same thing I was.
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing that I’ll be at Ohio State with you so the odds of us waking up like this every morning are looking pretty promising,” she announced out of nowhere.
I sat up, taking her with me.
“What?”
She grinned and shrugged. “I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you that I got accepted to Ohio State. I applied months ago when we…” She shook her head. “When I… was pushing you away. I’m sorry about that, McGraw. I never apologized for what—”
I placed my finger on her lips, silencing her.
“Darlin’, it’s in the past. I’m not one to dwell on somethin’ neither one of us can change. I’m here now and that’s all that matters,” I said, stroking her cheek.
She nodded, throwing her arms around me. I pressed her closer to my body and it was then that I noticed the bruises on her back.
“Shit.”
She immediately pulled away from me and I saw the bruises on her hips, her neck, and some bite marks on her breasts.
“Fuck,” I roared, taking in the purple and black marks that I gave her. “Suga’, why didn’t you tell me I was hurtin’ you?”
“What?” She peered down at herself and laughed. “I wanted those.” She looked back up at me. “I wanted you. I think you and I both know I very much enjoyed it. Plus I bruise easily. We just had some rough sex, you’re thinking too much into it.”
I pulled the hair away from my face, holding it at the nook of my neck. “I shouldn’t have drank that much,” I revealed, suddenly remembering my fuck up.
“Dylan, please don’t do that. I wanted it. I asked for it. I loved it.”
“Darlin’, we didn’t use a condom,” I stated, shaking my head.
Her eyes widened but she quickly recovered.
“It’s fine.” She smiled. “I’m not ovulating.”
“And you know that how?”
“I have an app on my phone and it tells me stuff like that, but maybe I should get on the pill, huh?” she nervously asked.
“You don’t have to do that for me.”
“I know that. I want to do it for me. For us. I guess I didn’t even realize that sex without any barriers would feel so different. I want to keep that going. I want to feel all of you, every time with nothing between us.” She blushed, biting her lip, and covering her breasts with the sheet.
I tugged on the ends of her hair. “I’ve never gone raw before.”
“Really?”
I shook my head no. “I’ve been tested, too. Before we got together. I wanted to make sure—”
She tackled me to the bed, kissing all over my face.
“I love you, I love you, I love you!” she repeated, and I flipped her over.
“Now, bring that sweet pussy over here suga’, ride my face. It’s breakfast time.”
And I did for the rest of the morning. It was afternoon when we finally left our bed. We showered together and ate some lunch. Our late night, early morning sex escapades left us both pretty damn hungry.
“I googled one of the trails, and I thought maybe we could go running. I want to try out for the track team at Ohio State, and I need all the practice I can get.”
“Whatever you want,” I simply stated, checking my phone.
“Wow. I could get used to you saying that.”
I laughed, placing my phone back on the counter.
“It’s a private trail, too. Everyone goes on The Cades Cove Loop or The Ramsey Cascades trail, so maybe we could… you know.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me.
“Darlin’, I’ll be staring at your ass the entire time we’re running. What do you think?”
She hopped down off the bar stool and took off towards our room. I put on my sneakers and grabbed two waters from the fridge. Aubrey came out in a yellow sports bra and white cotton shorts, her hair tied in one of those knots on the top of her head.
“You ready?” she asked, catching me checking her out.
“Lead the way, beautiful,” I said, smacking her ass.
She grabbed my hand and opened the door, but I stopped when I heard my phone ring in my pocket.
“Shit.” I answered it. “Hey, give me one second.” I put my hand over the receiver. “I have to take this call.” I gave her an apologetic look.
“Oh ok.” She started to come back into the cabin.
“Just go. I’ll catch up, darlin’.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. It’s the trail that we saw on the way up here, right?”
She nodded. “Yeah it’s just a straight trail. It won’t be hard to find me, but are you sure? I can wait for you.”
“No, it’s fine. You go,” I said insistently.
“Okay.”
I kissed her and she turned to leave, she was about to close the door behind her.
“Suga’.”
She stopped, walking back inside while I took off my shirt and threw it at her.
“Put some fuckin’ clothes on.”
She smiled, laughing loud while putting on my shirt.
“I won’t be far behind you.”
“Promise?” she teased.
“Always.”
She kissed the air and she was gone. I looked at my phone, relieved.
“I’ve been trying to reach you for weeks. I’m so glad you’re finally calling me back.”
I had my ear buds in, Dylan’s blues playlist blasting and my water bottle by my feet as I stretched my muscles for a few minutes. It was then that I realized just how sore I truly was. I smiled to myself remembering everything that happened last night and this morning. The fluttering feeling in my belly still lingered. I shook off the sentiments as I jogged down the trail getting my body warm for the run ahead.
I couldn’t help but think about Dylan and how much I loved him. How our relationship was genuinely the real thing now. The type you read about in books and watched in movies.
What fairy tales were made of.
I had never been happier in my entire life, and it was all because of him. He changed me in more ways than I ever imagined possible. The emotions, the feelings, the devotion, the adoration, and the love. I lived and breathed for him. It was real.
Sincere.
Consuming.
I thought about him when I was alone and even when I was laying in his arms. It didn’t matter where I was, I always wanted to be near him. Nothing was ever enough. The thought alone that I would soon be moving, and we would be together everyday like we were before was all I ever wanted and needed.
Was for someone to love me.
Exactly the way he does.
I finally found him or maybe he found me, but all that mattered was the loneliness was gone, as if it was never there to begin with.
I ran faster, my body getting used to the pace and fast movement of my limbs. With each stride I felt lighter from the demons that haunted me. From the sadness that always felt like it was lurking just around the corner, ready to take me under.
I closed my eyes for a few seconds wanting to remember this moment. Etch it into my mind and secure it in my heart.
I gasped, almost losing my footing when I felt his strong arms come around me.
“Jesus, McGraw, you scared the shit out of me,” I laughed, my heart racing from the running and his surprise attack. I took a few steady breaths waiting for him to say something and took off my ear buds.
Silence.
“Dylan?” I nervously chuckled, trying to turn around.
“There’s no Dylan here, baby,” a deep voice responded.
A voice I didn’t recognize. The scent of whiskey assaulted my senses and panic set in. My heart immediately dropped, and I instinctively screamed bloody murder, trying to fight him off. He chuckled against my ear, pressing me closer to his chest.
“Do your best, bitch. No one can fucking hear you out here,” he rasped in a menacing tone that made my body shudder. “I love to make them all scream,” he added. His voice sounded muffled and I could hear some type of accent.
“No!” I whimpered, pathetically thrashing around my entire body, kicking and screaming at the top of my lungs. “Dylan, Dylan!” I repeated over and over again, hoping that any second now he’d come and save me from this hell. “No! No! No!” I yelled out to no avail, making him laugh.
The bastard fucking laughed.
His body shook against mine. I fought harder. I fought so fucking hard, trying to break free from the monster who was about to take my life away from me.
My thrashing feet connected with his shin, causing his arms to slack just enough to give me the illusion of freedom. I stumbled forward scraping my knee on the gravel, trying to escape, trying to run toward my happiness.
Dylan.
I wasn’t fast enough.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
He picked me up in the air as if I weighed nothing and body-slammed me face first onto the ground. Pain radiated throughout my body. I choked from the sudden loss of breath, the wind knocked out of me with his entire weight resting on my back. I sucked in air that wasn’t available for the taking as he roughly gripped my hair, jerking my head so far back that I reeled in pain. My vision turned black, blinking away the white spots.
“Please, please don’t hurt me,” I groggily choked out. Pleading with him to let me go.
He pulled my neck back further, and I swear I thought he was going to tear my hair out.
“Please,” he sadistically repeated. “Oh, baby, I want you to beg. I want you to beg me to fucking stop. It only gets my cock harder for that sweet little cunt that I’m about to rip to shreds.”
He rocked his hips a few times against my ass. Grinding his already hard dick on me. I could feel him everywhere, his filthy hands violating me. Bile rose to my throat. The bile I was fighting back was making its way back up.
I instantly started bawling. Tears streaming down my face, my lips shaking and my teeth chattering.
“Please, don’t do this! Please, please don’t do this,” I sobbed over and over again, my body convulsing.
“Shut the fuck up! You’re going to enjoy what I have in store for you, and if you don’t, I’ll fucking do it again!”
He spit on my face and slammed my head into the dirt, smearing it back and forth like he was trying to bury my face in it. The dirt, leaves, and branches on the ground scratching my face even more.
I could feel every little stone cutting into my cheek. I cried harder and screamed louder, whipping my legs around. I screamed till my voice felt raw and my mouth dry. My throat burned and the sounds just faded away.
He pulled back my arm, lifting it higher up my back and I cried out in agony.
“Don’t fucking move. I’ll break your goddamn arm. But, baby, you can go ahead and try fighting me. It’s only going to make me fuck you harder.”
He let go of my hair and slowly, deliberately roamed his hand down to my waist.
“No! No! No! Please, please, don’t hurt me! PLEASE!” I bawled, I pleaded, I begged. My tears so intense, so consuming I couldn’t see anymore. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move. “I’m begging you please don’t do this! I’ll give you whatever you want just don’t hurt me!” I openly wailed, pleading with the man I knew was going to cause me pain.
He pulled the hem of my shirt over my eyes and nose leaving my mouth exposed. Taking away all my surroundings and engulfing me in nothing but Dylan’s scent. My earplugs now closer to my face, Dylan’s playlist my only solace while my soul was getting destroyed. I could dimly hear “Ain’t No Sunshine.”
“Mmm…” he groaned, causing me to cringe. “So much fucking better.”
He touched all along my back with his dirty hands, slowly making his way down to my waist again, snapping my shorts and making me jolt.
“Let’s get to the good stuff, shall we?”
I sobbed, choking on my own tears as he pressed his hand onto my hips, roughly ripping off my shorts and panties.
“No!” I shouted, kicking and fighting with every ounce of strength I could muster. His hand that was holding me down let up a little, and I pushed up ready to run. For a second he let me feel like I had a chance, for a moment I thought this nightmare was over. I was up on my hands and knees, my foot digging in the dirt to get up.
“Why you running? The fun’s just getting started,” he taunted, gripping my ankle, causing me to fall face first back onto the ground. Dragging me back to him. My stomach now being ripped by the dirt.
He was toying with me, I was his prey.
I struggled against him as I heard him lower his zipper, but it was no use. He was too strong for me. I never stood a chance and when that realization hit me, he coarsely flipped me over onto my back and slapped me so hard across the face that I immediately tasted blood. He didn’t let up, he punched my stomach and ribs repeatedly, until there was no fight left in me, and all I wanted to do was die. I never thought there could be pain like that. When he restrained my hands with a zip tie, I knew there was no saving me.
My dying body lay limp in a pool of my own misery while he violated me. I heard what sounded like a switchblade and instantaneously started fighting him off once again.
“No! No! No! Please!” I pleaded in agony. My body was slowly slipping away, my soul dying, all while he violated me over and over again.
I felt the knife at my neck and I closed my eyes, thinking this was the moment that I was going to die. I was going to be killed seeing Dylan’s shirt and engulfed in his scent that he gave me with so much love to protect me, listening to the music that made me fall in love with him.
He ripped down the center of my sports bra, leaving me much more exposed than before. The knife faintly grazed my chest with each flick of his wrist, and then he punched me in the stomach again. My head lay slack against the dirt, and I hazily felt his body get on top of mine before he finished killing me completely. Thrusting so hard inside me that my body jerked forward from the pain of his sudden intrusion.
This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening. Dylan will save me. He will save me.
“Fuck, you feel better than I thought you would,” he growled against my face, gripping his hand around my neck and clutching his other hand on my hip, opposite side to where Dylan’s hands had laid the night before.
I gasped for air, for tears, for my voice but nothing came out. The pain was too overwhelming, too strong, too crippling. I screeched out in agony with each rough thrust. He pushed in and out of me. I blocked out his voice and all the filthy shit that came out of his mouth about my pussy being so fucking tight, so fucking perfect, so fucking his. I closed my eyes silently praying to God that he would kill me, that I would die, and that he would take away the hurt that I felt in every last fiber of my body. The throbbing between my legs, the ache on my muscles, the bruises all over me, and the hole in my heart where Dylan used to be.
I checked out, I detached myself.
Aubrey is gone.
All that was left was the girl being raped.
Nothing would be the same after this.
Nothing…
I felt him come deep inside me. It was in that moment that I lost my faith in God, no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel.
Not for me.
Not ever again.
He shook with his release, grunting, as I resisted the urge to throw up. Soft tears slid out of my eyes, soaking Dylan’s shirt. He sat up and buttoned up his pants, the sound of his zipper would forever haunt me. I kept my face to the side, my vision still blocked, falling in and out of consciousness. Each time I blinked a happy memory came into sight and instantly was ripped from me, one by one. I saw my mom, my dad, Dylan, the boys, and Alex, followed by nothing but darkness. The loneliness creeping back in as if it never left to begin with, as if my mind was showing me one last time what happiness was, because I’d never feel it again.
“Better than I thought it was going to be.”
He threw what felt like my torn clothes on my chest.
“Don’t pretend like you didn’t like it, you dirty whore. I see those fucking bruises on you. Baby girl loves it rough, huh?” he scoffed, kicking what felt like dirt on me.
And that’s when I died a little more.
He kicked me in my stomach one last time and I instantly recoiled to the side, holding my waist, once again choking for air.
“Until next time you little cock tease.”
I gasped, wheezing for my next breath. Bringing up my knees to lay in fetal position, shaking, and suddenly freezing. I removed Dylan’s shirt from my head, placing it on top of me, trying to find any warmth, any comfort, any solace that I could.
I felt nothing.
I was numb.
Not even Dylan’s scent comforted me or the soft blues tune that I would never bear to hear again.
I don’t know how long I stayed there, cold, broken, by myself with nothing but my despair and I closed my eyes wishing that I would never wake up.
When I heard a familiar voice yell out, “No!”
It was only than that I realized…
Dylan would die, too.