“I. Hate. Him!”
Alex sighed, looking toward the ocean where Dylan had just disappeared to. I followed her worried gaze, except my eyes were filled with fury.
“What happened?”
“Dylan McGraw happened.”
“Aubrey…”
“No, Half-Pint, you don’t get to take his side without knowing the facts. God! He’s such a fucking asshole!”
Her eyes widened, and I regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth. Lily, Lucas’ baby sister was standing right by Alex’s side. She was only ten, but she started to follow Half-Pint around everywhere.
I knew why Lily did that, too. But that was a whole other story that I didn’t feel like getting into.
“Yeah, you know he is, Alex!” I pointed to both of them. “You both do!”
“What did he do?” Lily asked with caring eyes. She was the sweetest little girl who I thought would grow up to be like Alex. Boy was I wrong.
Hell no, she didn’t.
Sometimes I thought Lily was worse than I was.
“What didn’t he do? Let’s start there!” I argued.
“Calm down,” Alex coaxed, her tone laced with nothing but concern. “Tell me what happened?”
I took a long, deep breath, blowing all the air out of my lungs before I started. “We were hanging out in my room. I was getting ready to come here and I said—” I stopped myself.
Alex never told me about her and Lucas, but she didn’t have to. It was blatantly obvious. I didn’t want to push her to tell me something she wasn’t ready for me to hear.
“That’s not important,” I sidestepped. “He just… God… he just… fuck I can’t even explain it.” I glanced at Lily. “I’m sorry, Lily baby. I shouldn’t say those kinds of words.”
“Why?” She shrugged. “The boys do all the time.”
I chuckled and Alex just shook her head.
“I don’t understand him sometimes. He gives me whiplash. Normally it’s a good thing. Today it was not.”
“There’s this boy at school named Adam,” Lily said out of nowhere, surprising both of us. “I didn’t like Adam. He was mean to me. He’d pull my hair, he’d cut in front of me at lunch, and he’d take my pink marker when I’ve told him several times that it’s my favorite color.”
Alex and I both looked at each other confused and then back at Lily.
“I told my mom all about him. She just said that it was because Adam liked me. That boys don’t know how to express themselves, so they act out to get your attention. Dylan and Jacob came to pick me up from school the next day and told me to wait in the car. I waited for a long time. The next day at school Adam was nice to me. As a matter of fact, he hasn’t been mean to me since.”
Alex and I busted out laughing. That poor little boy probably didn’t see them coming.
“What I’m trying to say is Dylan is mean to you because he likes you, Aubrey. But only he can be mean to you because if someone else is than he’s going to kick their a-s-s. I’ll take a Dylan over an Adam any day.”
“What, Lily, how—” I muttered.
“Well… well… well… if it isn’t my so-called best friend,” I heard a voice snicker behind me. My head whipped around and came face to face with a very pissed-off Dee.
I hadn’t been hanging out with her that often since Dylan and I started dating. She always said she was busy. I saw the looks she gave Dylan and I in the hallway. Every time I tried to talk to her about us, she blew me off. There was only so much I could do. She didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. I would never want to hurt her. It’s not like Dylan and her were ever together in a relationship. I hadn’t broken some girl code. I went to bat for her and put him in his damn place.
She never even thanked me for it.
“How’s it feel to be his new whore?” she spewed without an ounce of remorse on her face.
“Excuse me?” I jerked back as if she smacked me across my face.
“Oh, come on, Aubrey, you can’t actually think he likes you. I thought you were smarter than that. Don’t you see he’s fucking using you? As soon as you give it up he’s going to dump you and move onto the next one. That’s who he is. You think you have a wonder pussy or something to change him?”
“You don’t know—”
“Oh, I know! Why do you think I can’t even talk to you anymore? Because I know! I know what he’s going to do to you, and I never thought you would be so fucking stupid to fall for it!”
“You mean stupid like you? What are you more pissed about, Dee? The fact that he slept with you and was done? Or the fact that I haven’t slept with him and he’s still with me?”
“Girl, you’re getting my sloppy seconds. I thought you were my friend, Aubrey.”
“I am your friend,” I simply stated, trying to not let her vicious words get to me. She was hurt, I got that. “And because of that I’m not saying every shitty thing that I want to say to you, like you are to me. I didn’t do anything wrong! What you’re doing right now is because you’re jealous! You’re jealous that I have, what you want.”
“God, Aubrey, with friends like you who needs enemies?”
“Dee, I would never want to hurt you. I’ve been trying for months to explain! I can’t help it that he likes me, that we like each other. I’m not going to stand here and defend my relationship to you. I don’t owe you anything. You seem to forget I actually went to battle with him for you. Now take a step back before you say something that you’re really going to regret. Or before you piss me the fuck off.”
“What did he tell you?” She ignored my warning. “You’re his only one, you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen or wait, I got it, that he could make you forget about your pain? Right? Poor little new girl. Everything you wanted to hear, wrapped in a big red bow.”
I fervently shook my head and Alex grabbed my wrist, but I ripped it away. “You don’t know him. You don’t know anything!” I screamed back, letting her get the best of me.
“No, it’s you who doesn’t know anything.” She stepped toward me, getting a few inches away from my face, looking me up and down with a snide glare.
She scoffed in disgust. “He’s just like your daddy, Aubrey. He’s going to leave you too without so much as a fucking goodbye!”
My arm was swinging toward her face by the time she had the last word out, but someone saw my intention and gripped my wrist mid-air. Before I could turn to see who stopped me, Dylan stepped out in front of me, placing me right behind him.
He cocked his head to the side, and I could physically feel the heat searing off of him.
“You better back the fuck up, Dee, right? That’s your name?” he sneered in an eerie tone as I watched with my heart in my throat.
“That right there… is how much you meant to me.”
My mouth dropped open, nervously looking around me. The boys were standing beside us with a look on their faces that I had never seen before.
They were waiting.
Alex’s expression mirrored mine while Lily just stood there with a mischievous gleam in her eyes and the biggest smirk I’d ever seen. She would be a force to be reckoned with one day.
“Now, I’m fixin’ to let you know, darlin’, that the difference between you and Aubrey is that I care about her, she is my girl. You… you on the other hand were just a piece of ass I got to tap. And not a very good one at that,” he paused to let his cruel words sink in. “Which is surprisin’, seeing as you’ll give it up to anyone who will give you just a little bit of attention,” he jeered as tears formed in her eyes, but he didn’t falter. “I would know. I barely fucking looked at you and your legs spread faster than butter.”
I felt bad for her. I knew I shouldn’t, but I did. I opened my mouth to say something and she cut me off.
“How is she any different from me? You know you’re going to get what you want and leave her. It’s in your blood, Dylan… it’s what you do. She will be where I’m standing in a few months. They say girls end up with men just like their daddy’s, well it must be true.”
She wasn’t backing down. Hateful words just came one after another. The one thing she said that was true, I was stupid.
I was stupid for thinking she was my best friend.
He smiled big and wide, not fazed by her response in the least. “You mention her daddy again, I won’t stop her from beating your ass this time.”
“What game are you playing, Dylan?”
“That would imply that I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t play fucking games. This is your first and last warning. You fuck with Aubrey again, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
“Well, I’ll be damned. Aren’t you just her knight in shining armor? You’re a modern day hero. I can’t wait until she’s the one who’s crying and I’m here to pick up the pieces.” A combination of anger and hurt came out of her in waves, but McGraw surfed every one of them with ease.
The irony was not lost on me.
“Darlin’, the only reason she’d be crying is from fuckin’ happiness.”
He walked over to her, each step precise and calculated. Each stride more unnerving than the last, his conviction never wavering, right in front of me. He didn’t care who saw. He was a man possessed with his heart on his sleeve and I waited, holding my breath with my heart on mine.
“See, you oughta’ know that I love her. That I’m in love with her so when you fuck with her you fuck with me.”
Just. Like. That.
The words fell off his lips for the first time into the face of a girl that wasn’t me.
“Now scurry along, we’re done here.” And with that he turned around and left her standing there without a bit of guilt for what he just shared.
I vaguely heard Lily whisper in my ear, “Told you,” before Dylan made his way over to me with a confidence I couldn’t quite place.
“You okay, sug—”
I. Cold. Clocked. Him.
“What the actual fuck?” I roared, gripping my jaw, glaring only at Aubrey.
She slowly stepped back with her hand out in the air. “Don’t follow me, McGraw,” she ordered with a pissed off look on her face.
“You gotta be shittin’ me,” I gritted out.
“I mean it.” She shook her head, her body shuddering with every step she took away from me. “I’m out of here.” She took one last look at me and left.
I peered around the beach for the first time. Everyone was standing around with wide eyes, frozen in place.
“The show’s fucking over,” I growled out to our audience, glancing over at the boys who were grinning like goddamn fools. “You say one fucking word, one fucking word, and I will knock you the fuck out,” I warned, my fists at my sides.
I could see it in their eyes, they wanted to laugh and give me shit, but they just shrugged their shoulders not breaking eye contact.
I spun around and Alex gripped my wrist.
“I don’t think—”
I glared at her, letting her know that now was not the right time.
She let go immediately, stepping back. “Okay.”
I got in my Jeep, throwing it in drive before the door even shut. Tearing through the parking lot and down the street until I saw her. She was walking with her arms folded over her chest, her pissed-off stance still very much alive and thriving.
I pulled up next to her. “Get in!” I barked.
She looked over at me, surprised. “No!”
“Don’t poke the bear, baby girl.”
She rolled her eyes, throwing her neck back and screamed, “Fuck. You!”
I snidely grinned, immediately slamming on the gas and veering across the sidewalk to block her path. Throwing it in park, not bothering to turn off the engine, I jumped out before she even saw me coming.
I was sure I’d never seen that look on her face before. She pivoted around to take off in the other direction. I was over to her in three strides.
Face to face.
She stepped back until she was against my Jeep.
Nowhere to go.
Placing both hands on each side of her head, I spoke through clenched teeth, “What the fuck is your problem?” I lashed out, looming over her smaller frame.
“You!” She shoved me and I didn’t waver, which only made her push me again.
“You’re my problem! Now get out of my damn way.”
I could see it in her eyes, she had gone mad. I didn’t know what the hell I had done to piss her off this bad.
I fucking defended her, and this was the thanks I got.
“I hate you! I hate you so fucking much right now! You’re an asshole, Dylan McGraw! You’re a fucking asshole!”
I immediately fell back, the wind knocked from my sails. She took the distraction as an opportunity to maneuver herself away from me.
“I can’t believe you did that! I can’t believe you did that to me!”
I scoffed, “I would do it again.”
“Of course, you would! That’s who you are! You don’t think for one damn second about me. Not One! Now, leave!”
“Fuck you, I’m not going anywhere. If you really wanted to leave… you would have left already, not bothering me with your bullshit,” I regretted my words as soon as they came out of my mouth, but thinking before speaking had never been my strong suit.
Case and point, she screeched out, “You asshole!” shouting in my face.
I stepped toward her and she instantly backed away, once again holding out her hand in front of her.
“Yeah! I’m a fucking asshole, but I will die before I ever apologize for defendin’ you. Do you understand me?”
“You’re such an idiot. You’re so blinded by your goddamn pride you don’t even see it! You don’t even realize it!”
“My pride? Sweetheart, those are fightin’ words. You best consider takin’ a step back and realize who the fuck you’re talkin’ to.”
She put her arm down and stepped toward me. “I know exactly who I’m talking to, and I don’t give a shit. I can’t believe you did that!” she repeated with the same stride. “Telling me for the first time, for the first time, McGraw, that you loved me to that piece of shit Dee. How could you do that to me? How could you hurt me like that, you asshole?!”
I caught her open palm that was coming at my face again. “I let you hit me once, darlin’, it won’t happen again.”
She forcefully tried to tug her arm away, but I used the momentum to pull her toward me instead. She lost her footing and began to fall forward. Her free hand collided with my chest, giving her leverage.
I hugged her toward me. “Relax.”
Shit.
I didn’t even realize that. I was so caught up in putting that bitch in her place that I hadn’t grasped that it was the first time the words came out of my mouth.
I didn’t think twice about it.
“You cannot do this! You cannot manhandle me every time just to get your way! It’s not fair, McGraw,” she yelled, taking me away from my thoughts.
“Unlucky for you. I don’t give a flying fuck.”
I leaned her back, putting my hand over her mouth, sensing she was going to scream. I placed her up against my Jeep again not taking my hand away from her mouth.
Her nostril’s flared and her chest heaved.
“You are so goddamn beautiful that it hurts to look at you sometimes.”
Her eyes widened, not expecting what she had just heard.
“You’re not going to talk.” I shook my head. “You’re going to listen to every word I have to say.” I nodded, gently letting my hand fall from her mouth. I had to explain, I knew it was the only way she would ever forgive me.
She swallowed hard but didn’t say anything.
“I don’t know what happened back there and frankly I don’t give a shit. I watched my girl—”
“You were surfing,” she interrupted.
“My eyes are always on you, darlin’. I always know where you are.”
She bit her lip, surprised by my declaration.
“But if you interrupt me one more time. You’re giving me no choice than to cover that sweet mouth again.”
She narrowed her eyes at me not saying a word, though she didn’t have to, her eyes spoke volumes all by themselves.
“I fucked girls, Aubrey, plenty of them,” I simply stated, catching her off guard.
“That’s all I’ve ever done. It made me feel good. It made me happy. It made things easier for me. I used girls, but you want to know somethin’, suga’, they used me, too. It was a win-win situation. I come from a happy home, my parents’ clearly love each other, but I still ran from love. I chalked it up to normal boy bullshit. Ya feel me?”
She didn’t move, her eyes intently placed on my face, waiting for the next thing I was going to share.
“I’ve seen Lucas and Alex… fuck me…” I breathed out. “My two best friends battle this connection they’ve had since they were kids. Since before I knew what the fuck it even meant. I see Lily. And I know you see her, too. Jacob’s never going to see it coming. She’s going to hit him like a ton of fucking bricks.”
The expression on her face softened and it gave me the push to keep going.
“It’s all so fucking messy, so fucking complicated, so fucking forbidden. I didn’t want shit to do with that. Not for one damn second. Unlike Austin who has no damn clue who he is, that’s the difference between him and I, I do. I know I’m an asshole. I don’t pretend to be something I’m not, darlin’. I don’t need to and I don’t fuckin’ want to. Ain’t got time for that shit. I never hurt a girl and if they want to claim that I did, it’s only because it’s easier to blame someone else than to look in the goddamn mirror and realize who they really are.”
She frowned, sad for me.
“No, suga’, this isn’t about you feelin’ bad for me. I loved doing it. Sex, fucking, and being with someone was the closest I ever let myself go. It was addicting. My addiction. The feeling of another body pressed up against mine. Well, there’s nothing else like it. I did what felt good. No strings. No attachments. No unnecessary bullshit.”
I could tell she wanted to say something, but the need to know what I had to say was too strong for her to interrupt.
“For once, baby. For once in my life someone had the balls to call me out. Ain’t ever happened before. Especially by a girl. A hot-as-fuck girl,” I added, grinning.
She hid a smile.
“So, after years of watching my boys struggle with emotions and feelings and who the fuck else knows. All that shit that I ran away from, was staring me right in the face, I wanted it,” I paused, gazing deep into her eyes.
“I. Wanted. You.”
Her mouth parted, and I swear I could feel her heart beating against my chest.
“Except, I know, baby. I know you’re too good for me. I know the first time we have sex, make love… it’s going to mean something and maybe, I’m hoping that it’ll make me a better man. That you…” I tugged on the ends of her hair.
“That you’ll make me a better man.”
She jerked back. “Oh my God.” She exhaled long and deep.
“I love you, Aubrey. I fucking love you, and I don’t care who knows.”
Her eyes swelled up with tears and I leaned forward to her ear and groaned,
“I. Love. You.”