For the second time since I met Gabe, I found him waiting for me at Caffeine IV. I had just entered and my eyes immediately landed on his in the corner. My jaw was slack with disbelief and my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. “Be right with you!” Kath’s voice rang out even though I didn’t see her anywhere. Before she could appear, I motioned to the door and quickly turned around and walked out. As I waited for Gabe to follow me out, I watched a couple across the street walking hand in hand without a care in the world.
“Alara.”
I turned around and almost lost my breath at the tender expression on his face. “Hi.”
“Hey.” He looked down at the watch on his wrist before returning his attention to my face. “Not to sound like a stalker, but didn’t you say your last class gets out at three on Wednesdays?”
I smiled and thought back to our discussion on how I habitually came here for coffee every morning and then again for tea at the end of classes. “Yeah, I did. But we have an exam next week, so he held an extra review session directly after class today.”
He frowned as he looked at his watch. “Well unfortunately my shift starts in five minutes.” Gabe turned his head toward Pick Your Poison. “So I guess I’ll just call you later?”
My nerves were in full force as I stepped forward and looked toward the bar. “Maybe…” I swallowed and cleared my throat before continuing. “Maybe I could walk you over there?”
His answering smile was wide and bright. “Yeah. That’d be great.” He turned slightly and waited for me to join him, and although we weren’t touching I don’t think I had ever felt as close to another person.
“How are you?” he asked.
“Good.” I nodded absentmindedly as I kept my gaze forward.
Gabe sighed, and I could see him glance down at me as we walked. “I’m not going to lie to you, I don’t completely understand and I know there’s a lot I don’t know. But…”
“There’s definitely a lot to discuss.”
We walked in silence or a few minutes before he spoke again. “Do you see a therapist?”
“Wow, so we’re just diving right in, huh?” I laughed nervously.
He looked stricken, but before he could answer I spoke again. “I’m kidding. It’s fine. And to answer your question, no, I’m not seeing anyone and I know I probably should be, but…”
“But what?”
I fiddled with the strap of my purse and gestured to the fast-approaching bar. “Gabe, this isn’t really a discussion I want to have in public and with only two minutes to spare.”
He nodded immediately. “Right, of course.” He stopped, abruptly forcing my steps to falter as well. I looked over and found him staring straight ahead, seemingly at nothing when all of a sudden he turned fully toward me. “Will you come over tonight after I get off work?”
I thought about all my discussions with Naomi, about whether I really wanted to walk away before anything had even happened. Suddenly all the reasons I had for staying away flashed through the mind, all the people who walked away, and all the words said once I told someone the truth. But despite all that, there was only one answer I could give: “Yes.”
…
“You’re a sight for sore eyes,” Jackie said as she and Megan walked toward me. Megan was sluggish as she held her mom’s hand and dragged her toy dog behind her.
“I know, between school and… friends, it’s been a little crazy.” I smiled at my stumble over friends, but Jackie didn’t seem to notice. Megan gave me a tired smile as she dropped her mom’s hand and crawled onto my lap. I started rubbing circles on her back as I took in my sister’s ragged face. “You okay?”
She nodded before slumping down next to me and tucking some of her daughter’s hair behind her ear. “Yeah, I think Meg is coming down with something though.”
“Oh.” I frowned as I looked down at her. “Well we didn’t have to meet at the park today. I could have just come over to your place.”
“It’s okay, I have some errands to run anyways.”
“Do you want me to take her to my apartment? She could sleep and then you could pick her up when you’re done?” I offered.
Jackie hated to accept help. She could be on the ground bleeding from seven gunshot wounds, and she’d still insist she was fine and that she’d be able to fix herself up. So to say I was shocked when she accepted my help was the understatement of the year.
“It’d be a couple hours,” Jackie said as she stood and started organizing Meg’s bag. “She has a couple bags of treats in here. If she wakes up she can only have one bag, or a little of each if she can’t decide. There’s some juice in here too. Again only one, and I want her to brush her teeth after she drinks it—that’s all in here too.”
Megan stirred as I sat up and put her on the ground. Jackie squatted down in front of her and gave her a quick hug. “Okay, baby. Mommy’s got to do a couple things so you’re going to go to Aunt Alara’s, all right?” Megan turned around and beamed at me. “Be good for her, okay?” At her stern tone Megan turned around and nodded seriously.
“Okay, Mommy. Have fun. I love you. Can you buy me cookies?” she said in one long breath. Jackie laughed as she hugged her again, a little longer this time, and with a quick kiss to Megan’s forehead she told her she would.
Just as Jackie’s car was out of sight, Megan quickly turned around and grabbed my hand. “Hi.”
“Hi, honey.” I ruffled her hair before bending down to pick up her bag. “You okay going back to my apartment?”
She nodded quickly. “Is Mimi gonna be there?”
I shook my head. “She’s busy right now, sweetie.”
“Does she not want to see me?” I pulled on her hand so she would stop and then I knelt in front of her.
“Absolutely not. She loves you and always wants to see you.”
Only slightly pacified, she nodded her head, but stopped skipping and grew sluggish like before. Sighing, I pulled out my phone and tapped Naomi’s picture.
Me: Any chance you could come home for dinner instead of going to Caleb’s? I have Meg for the evening and she was asking for you.
Naomi: Of course she was. She knows Aunt Mimi is the best ;p I’ll be home in 30 xo.
When we reached my car I buckled her in the seat behind me. “I’ve got good news. Naomi is going to come home and have dinner with you.” At her wide smile my heart felt painfully full, yet empty at the same time. Her excitement was a beautiful thing to watch, but it was equally as heartbreaking because I knew she was excited just because she never expected it. Megan was only five and even if she couldn’t understand it, she was already accustomed to a world where she was left behind. She’d already learned the painful lesson I was still trying to unlearn, that at the end of the day you only really have yourself.
“Yes.” It was only one word, and I had to keep reminding myself that she was only answering one simple question. But I couldn’t help where my thoughts went. Because it felt like she was saying yes to a million different questions. Will you come home with me? Can we figure this out? Do you want to be with me? Do you trust me? Could you love me?
That high lasted me about two hours before it fizzled out at the sight of a text message.
Alara: I’m so sorry but I’m going to have to reschedule tonight :/
I was staring at the phone, trying not to read too much into it, when it vibrated again.
Alara: I promise I’m not blowing you off. My sister had some errands to run and I offered to watch Megan.
“Who’s Megan?” I asked Naomi. She had stopped by for a quick drink on her way to Caleb’s. It was ten after six and we only had three tables, so Derek and I were hanging out with her at the bar. It was definitely the slowest night I’d ever worked, but Derek said it was normal since the Thanksgiving holiday was coming up and a lot of students were preparing to go home.
“Huh?”
“Alara just texted me that her sister asked her to watch Megan?”
Naomi’s face lit up as she reached for her phone. “Oh! I have a text too.” She grinned as she typed out a reply and started gathering her things.
“Still waiting on an answer…” I trailed off as I waved my phone around.
“Megan’s her niece.” She hesitated before glancing at Derek. “You know it’s pretty dead tonight, it’d be pretty stupid to keep three servers on…”
Derek nodded and then turned to me. “She’s right, why don’t you head on out?”
“Are you sure?” I asked even though I’d already started taking off my apron. If Naomi’s looks meant what I thought they did, then I definitely had no problem getting off early.
He chuckled at my translucent behavior. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
Naomi’s reaction was similar as I turned toward her, waiting for my official invitation. It was pretty pathetic, but I didn’t care one damn bit as long as it got me what I wanted.
“I feel like I’m forgetting something…” She trailed off as she tapped her finger to her chin in contemplation. “Huh, I can’t think of it. Oh well, see ya guys!” Naomi waved enthusiastically as she started for the door.
“You’re cruel!” I called after her.
Cackling, she turned around and started walking backward. “Oh! I just remembered. Hey, Gabe, wanna come with?” With no answer needed, she turned around and waited for me to follow. I went with her, but I wasn’t following her.
Apparently Naomi’s thirty minutes were equivalent to my twenty, because she was already home when Megan and I walked through the door.
“MIMI,” Megan yelled, all signs of sickness forgotten, as she tore through our tiny living room and into Naomi’s arms.
“Mimi?” a deep and familiar voice questioned two seconds before Gabe filled the kitchen entryway.
I blinked in surprise and shrugged off our bags as he gave me a warm smile. “Yeah, she has trouble with some names.” I walked over and put a hand on Megan’s back as the three of us turned toward him. “This is Gabe, he’s a new friend.” I put my other hand on his bicep, enjoying the warm feeling of his skin.
“Hi,” she mumbled before tucking her face into Naomi’s neck. We all laughed as she started peeking at him and quickly shoving her face back down.
“Why don’t we go start making dinner, munchkin,” Naomi suggested. She threw me a wink before carrying Meg into the kitchen, leaving Gabe and me alone.
“I’m sorry I had to reschedule.”
“I understand.” The intensity of his gaze suggested that he understood more than just that, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t felt lighter at his words.
“I thought you had work?”
“I did but it was slow. Naomi was at the bar having a drink with Derek when you texted.” He shrugged before walking over to the couch and sitting. “She invited me to tag along. Is that all right?”
“Yeah, of course.” I was nodding so much I probably looked like a freaking bobblehead. I abruptly stopped, probably making it that much weirder, but Gabe just smiled.
“So that’s your niece?”
I smiled fondly as I sat down next to him. “Yeah, she’s five.”
“My father never wanted more than one kid.” He paused, seemingly shocked by his blunt statement. “But my mom really wanted a daughter. Not that she ever made me feel inferior, she just wanted”—he waved his hand toward my head—“whatever it is girls do with their mothers.”
“Yeah, it’d be pretty hard to braid this,” I said as I ran my fingers through his hair. I froze as soon as his head leaned into my touch, and when his eyes started to flutter he froze too. We both stared at each other in shock, like we couldn’t believe our bodies just took over and relished the other’s touch without permission. I knew I wasn’t consciously thinking about anything when I reached over; it was as if touching him was the only logical thing to do. And if I was reading his expression right, he felt the exact same way.
He blinked as if coming back to himself and very slowly, very deliberately, brought his hand to rest on mine. Gabe gently pushed until he was guiding my hand to the back of his head, and my breath picked up as that movement forced me closer. I—
“Ara! Ara!” Megan screamed from the kitchen. I ripped my hand from his hair and jumped back so far I almost fell off the couch. He was laughing as I got up and dashed to the other room.
“What? What is it?” I asked in a slight panic.
“Ook,” she said around the food in her mouth. She was pointing to the sandwich next to Naomi and bouncing in her seat. “Mimi said that men need lots of food, so I made Gabe an extra big one. Look!”
I looked all right. There were at least six pieces of bread in the sandwich, along with what had to be dozens of slices of meat and cheese. Mayonnaise was haphazardly smeared on, and a huge glob of it was on one corner, while the lettuce and tomato were half sticking out on the other side.
“Do you think he’ll like it?” she whispered as she tugged on my shirt. And it broke my heart to hear the longing in her voice, to know she’ll probably always crave that acceptance and praise because she believes she is the reason people leave.
“Hey, did I hear my name?”
Megan was still a little shy as she jumped down from her chair, but she grabbed his hand and led him to the counter anyways. “Dat’s yours.” She pointed to the sandwich before tucking her arms behind her back and worrying her little bottom lip.
Gabe’s eyebrows rose comically high as his gaze shifted between Megan and the sandwich. He stared for several seconds before squatting down to her level. “Did you make me that?” Still biting her lip, she gave him a tiny nod with her eyes on the ground.
“Hmm… you know my sister used to make me sandwiches all the time, and it was never quite enough.” Megan looked up and shifted around a little, her gaze now flickering between the sandwich and Gabe like she was trying to decide if it would be enough. “And they were always a little stale.” He made a disgusted face and exaggerated a shiver, causing Megan’s face to fall a little more.
“But this,” he whispered and leaned toward her like he had a secret. “This looks like the best sandwich ever. Heck, I don’t even think I’ll be able to eat it all.” A wide, brilliant smile spread across Megan’s face as she jumped up and down with a squeal.
“Really?” she asked, gripping her hands together to stop herself from clapping.
He nodded enthusiastically and stared at her with a look of pure awe. Well, to her it looked pure; to us it looked a little crazy. “Yeah, I can already tell it’s going to taste amazing too. Thank you, Megan.”
“You can call me Meg,” she whispered, still beaming even though some of her shyness had returned. He leaned forward slowly and opened his arms in invitation, which she gladly accepted. As they were hugging and her big brown eyes met mine, I knew he’d just stolen a little bit of her heart.
Yeah, I know, Meg. He’s stealing mine too.