Chapter 7 Where We Left Off

GETTING back to the apartment was loud. I swear I thought camping was supposed to be relaxing and all naturesque—this was anything but. Between the rain and the rain and the—oh yeah, more rain—I thought I would have gills by now. Still, looking into Ellis’s eyes was awfully nice. And the feel of his lips and tongue was a definite plus! If given a choice, I’d go camping again.

I guess my main complaint was the car ride, with five other guys who hadn’t showered all weekend crammed in Russell’s mom’s Pilot. Add in all the wet gear, and the smell was noxious. I don’t know who started the singing, but somehow they made their way around to Christmas songs and by the time we pulled into the college, I never wanted to hear “Silver Bells” again!

The volume followed me up to my apartment, because of course they couldn’t remain in the car or go home to their own residences. The lunatics had to sing and joke and act all happy. I was getting tired of happy. I was on happy overload. Where was a nice cynic full of gloom and doom when you needed one? Oh, that would be me. Except, I wasn’t feeling very cynical. I was feeling… placid.

I’d say it was inexplicable, but I knew exactly why I felt like that—Ellis! The whole ride home, memories of his lips against mine blocked my normal tendency to complain. I lost interest in griping about the seasonal discrepancy of song selections and went with the flow. They probably forgot I was even in the car because I was oddly quiet. Ellis was in the front seat and I stole glances at him as often as I dared. God, he was so hot, but I’d be a fool to think anything would develop between us. I was so not in his league even if he wasn’t straight.

So when all the guys finally exhausted their stay and decided to head out, I wasn’t expecting anything more from Ellis. What had happened between us must have been a dream, right?

I was standing by the dryer, folding my shirt, when Ellis walked up beside me.

It was late, but I wanted to fold the last of pieces laundry I’d done because then my shirts wouldn’t wrinkle overnight. He leaned on the washer and folded his arms across his chest. He was fresh out of the shower, all wet hair and soapy scent. I suppressed the desire to breathe in a lungful of “Ellisness.”

“So… fun weekend.” Leave it to Ellis to keep the conversation brief.

 

“Yeah… and wet,” I countered. After placing my folded shirt on the pile, I grabbed some socks.

Ellis stood there, awkwardly silent, slightly nodding as if he was thinking of what to say but hadn’t figured it out yet. “So… you like my friends?”

I placed my socks on the pile. “Yeah, but I told you I liked them before we went. I wouldn’t have agreed to go camping all weekend if I hated your friends.”

“Ah! But you weren’t familiar with the entire experience of being with them for days, let alone all those other people. And you lived!”

I rolled my eyes and grinned. “Barely,” I halfheartedly grumbled.

 

Ellis smiled back.

Damn, that smile. It got me every time. It was casual and genuine and made his eyes light up in ways that stuck with me for hours after he’d gone to class. I couldn’t take much more of that smile making me hard. Ellis needed to make a move on me, or move out, because living in limbo was no longer an option.

“So… do you want to play Xbox? I got a new game—FIFA Street Soccer.”

I could tell he was fishing for an activity. That was a good sign. At least he wasn’t disappearing into his room and acting strange, like the first time we kissed. Only, Xbox wasn’t the activity I had in mind. I shook my head.

“A puzzle? You like puzzles.”

Okay, now he was grasping. “Ellis, you’re trying too hard,” I said as I shut the dryer and faced him. Here it goes—I’m making a move. It’s now or never, but not knowing might give me a stroke. Suddenly, I was glad I’d grabbed a shower while the guys were reliving stories of the weekend, because I was sure my pits were sweating. Nervously I broached, “Ellis, can we… do you want to… pick up where we left off?”

He shoved against the washer and practically jumped in my direction, eyes all wide with anticipation. “Yeah, sure!” he said. Then he eased back, as if rethinking his initial reaction. “I mean, if you want to.”

“Ellis, it was my idea.”

“Oh yeah.” His voice was soft; he lowered his eyes, gazing at my chest. He looked as if he wasn’t sure where to begin as he tentatively lifted a hand and traced my collarbone with his fingers. As soon as his eyes met mine, they glazed over in a lustful sort of way, and he leaned in the rest of the way.

His kiss was strong and sweet as he gripped my shoulders and stepped into my body. It wasn’t until I opened my mouth and licked his lips that he let go of the hesitance that kept him from fully engaging in whatever activities were playing in his imagination. As soon as our tongues touched, he let out a heady grunt of desire and wrapped his arms tightly around my back.

This kiss was not the tentative exploration I took part in as we lay in the dark of night half freezing over the weekend. Oh no! This was all need and want, and finally having the fortitude to give in and take without restraint. I felt his erection against mine for the first time as his body molded against me. My jeans and his sweatpants not withstanding, it felt promising. At least kissing me turned him on, so my wonder over his sexuality had hope. I felt him rock his hips as he started a slow grind, pulling me tighter to him and then sliding one hand up the back of my shirt while he squeezed my butt with the other.

He reluctantly pulled away, sucking on my lip before letting me go, and then slipped my shirt over my head. I removed my glasses and placed them on my pile of laundry and then turned back to face him.

Ellis was staring at my chest.

Why? I’m not sure. I know for a fact I lack his definition, and the sparse amount of hair attempting to grow on my skin was far from sexy. Still, he studied me. He lifted his hand and circled my left nipple with his thumb. He pinched me gently, and I gasped, enjoying the sensation. He looked into my eyes briefly before placing his other hand over my right pec and thumbing my nipple. He dipped his head and licked me there. He swirled his tongue around my now fully erect nipple, and his teeth grazed me just to the edge of pain.

My dick pulsed.
I stepped back and his eyes questioned my reaction.

“Come on,” I prompted, taking his hand and then leading him into my room.

Ellis stood there watching me as I removed my jeans. Either he got off on watching guys strip, or he was nervous to follow suit. I stepped closer and lifted the hem of his shirt. “May I?” I asked.

Jolted from a dreamlike state, he nodded and answered, “Oh yeah, sure, of course.”

Once shirtless, I ran my hand over the hair on his chest and trailed my fingers down to his waistband. I watched his eyes in the dim light of the room, waiting for fear to flash by, before I slid my palm down over the massive rod that strained to rip the fabric. When the fear didn’t come, I touched him. Instantly he closed his eyes and gasped. He shuddered as I stroked him. His panting reminded me he was not as experienced like I was. He wasn’t used to being touched by anyone, let alone a man. I needed to ask what he wanted to do. I might not be the authority on gay sex in America, but I wasn’t going to force a newbie to do something he wasn’t absolutely ready for!

I let go and asked, “Ellis, what exactly do you want to do tonight?”

He looked at me with that same nervousness he’d had for the past twenty minutes. “I, um, I don’t know… stuff.” Timid stammering wasn’t convincing me he was ready for intercourse.

I took a stab at what I assumed he was too prideful to admit. “You aren’t ready for sex, are you?”

He looked at the bed and then shifted his gaze to the floor. In an almost imperceptible voice, he replied, “No…. Maybe…. I don’t know.”

Oh fuck! was my initial thought. I’d never considered myself a take-the-lead type of guy. Virgins, I could handle, as long as it was a mutual desire and the prospective partner was most definitely gay. Ellis? I wasn’t so sure he was sure he was gay. I’d only heard him talk about girls. I’d only seen him out with girls. (Well, the girls on the camping trip.) If this was an experiment on his part, it could totally screw up our friendship. That I wasn’t about to risk for a fuck.

I remembered my first time none too fondly as the misadventure of a naïve eighteen-year-old “looking for love” in all the wrong places. First sex in the front seat of a Ford Escort, while parked in a graveyard in the middle of the night, was not romantic. We didn’t talk. It was purely sexual, and I don’t remember his name. What I remember was my ass hurting so bad I thought he tore my colon. I wanted to protect Ellis from a bad experience at all cost!

“Ellis, we don’t have to do anything you’re unsure of. I like kissing you, and as far as I’m concerned, we could lay here and kiss all night if that’s all you’re comfortable with.”

“No,” he said, gliding his strong hands over my shoulders and then gripping my virtually nonexistent biceps. “I want to… do stuff… with you. I can’t stop thinking about you.” He stepped closer, and then the bare skin of my stomach was touching his. Oh God, it feels so good! He explained, “I lay awake at night thinking about sneaking in here and touching you.” He swallowed hard, and I heard myself whimper as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. “I don’t know exactly what to do, but I know I want to try. Being around you….” He paused and kissed me. “Being around you makes me….” Ellis paused again to kiss my neck. “You make me so fucking hard.” He nipped my neck and squeezed my ass with both hands. “I want you, Cole.”

He sounded desperate, almost pleading. How could I deny him when he’d practically begged for this? His statement—as well as his tongue in my ear—was all the confirmation my body needed. Testosterone flared and I pressed against him, rocking my groin into his. Ellis moaned and backed me toward the bed. We fell onto it, and he roamed over me with his hand, exploring my chest, stomach, and groin. He rubbed me through the fabric of my boxer briefs as I groaned into his mouth.

After several minutes of kissing and touching and holding each other, Ellis eased back, and I watched as he stood up and pushed his sweats and briefs down his muscular thighs. His cock bounced free. It was so magnificent that I had to remind myself not to drool! I practically had to tear my eyes away as he crawled back over me. If he noticed my stunned and awed expression, he didn’t say, he merely tugged on my underwear and assisted me out of my last shred of clothing. Then, without hesitation, he lined his body up against mine and pressed his manhood against my hip as he kissed me again.

After a while, it became apparent that Ellis was unsure of the next move. He rocked into me a little, but not enough to come. He kissed me leisurely and touched me affectionately from my thighs and groin up to my nipples and neck, yet his groping lacked the desperation of a man who wanted to fuck. Ellis wasn’t frantic; he was gentle. Even as he licked down my neck and playfully swirled his tongue around my nipple, I could tell he was hesitating. That was when a little voice inside my head suggested I take the lead, no matter how unnatural it felt to do so.

I nudged Ellis onto his back and maneuvered my way on top of him, straddling his thighs and kissing him ruthlessly to ramp his expectations. He slid his hands over my back like a blind man reading Braille—memorizing me. I’d never felt so treasured as I did with Ellis. Here I was trying to amp up the sex so we’d actually get to the fucking before morning, and Ellis was caressing my skin and massaging all my parts as though I would vanish any second. I hesitated to push him for more. It felt so nice to be touched like this. Maybe this was what true foreplay was for? Or maybe I was so used to random sex that I’d missed out on what it was like to be with someone you cared about?

I was contemplating the possibilities when his fingers grazed my entrance. A tingle shot through me. That was the signal—I wanted to fuck and I was damn near the breaking point. I took his dick in my hand and started stroking. Ellis’s gentle touch turned to vise grips that squeezed my ribs. He was writhing beneath me, moaning and panting as I wiggled lower. I lined my mouth up with his throbbing crown and licked the precome from his slit. I’d never seen someone come so unglued by the slightest of touches. Ellis was practically screaming by the time I sucked him down. What would he do when he came?

But he wasn’t going to, not yet.

I sucked up and down his beautiful erection for several minutes, and then used my hand when I needed to breathe. I had to restrain myself from laughing as I watched his expression. His lips quaked and his eyes moved back and forth under his closed lids. He shook a few times and held his breath. I could be torturing him if I went by the little whimpers and slight cries escaping his larynx. He gripped the sheets and tilted his hips; it was exhilarating to know I’d made him like this.

When I let go, his eyes flew open.

I wiggled my way back up to his lips and grinned. “Just checking. I was beginning to wonder if you were capable of any other sounds.” I fingered through his layered hair and looked deeply into his heat-filled eyes.

Ellis growled in response and rolled me onto my back. He came over me aggressively this time, pinning my arms above my head as he sucked on my neck. I felt the sting; I knew he’d left a mark and that knowledge pleased me more than I had words to express. He kissed his way down my chest and licked my throbbing penis from my balls to my tip. No hesitance there. Maybe he was dominant after all, or maybe it was to prove a point? Either way, he grabbed me at the base and pulled me to his lips.

I watched as he closed his eyes and went down.

It was my turn to moan, and moan I did! I hadn’t been sucked in ages. Remembering how it feels to get a blowjob and actually receiving one are two different things. There was nothing like having a hot, wet mouth engulf the most sensitive part of your body to make every trace of the world disappear and every nerve you possessed dance in ecstasy. That was, until teeth scraped against said nerves and the ecstasy screeched to a halt!

“Ah!” I winced. “Easy there, killer. If you bite it off, there won’t be anything left for later.”

Ellis let go and repositioned himself next to me. “I’m going to choose to ignore how unnecessary that comment was.” His hurt came across loud and clear.

Instead of shrinking away from embarrassment, Ellis kissed me. I knew I didn’t deserve such a warm, gentle kiss in light of the biting (literally) remark I gave him. I felt horrible. When he released my lips, I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t answer verbally, but pulled me close so that we were positioned on our sides, erections lined up and rubbing together nicely.

I had to give him credit. I think I would have called it quits if a guy I was with said what I just said to me. I needed to do something, something nice; something unexpectedly stimulating that would let Ellis know how wrong I felt for chastising his first attempt at sucking a dick.

I started my nonverbal apology by cupping his balls—he sighed.

As he relaxed onto his back, I scooted down his body and nestled myself between his legs. I know he was probably thinking I’d suck his dick again, but there are more ways than one to get a guy off. Testicles are extremely sensitive and often overlooked. Ellis has a nice set of balls, I thought as I nuzzled his sac with my nose. I kind of liked the fact that they were hairy. From my experience, gay guys kept things clean and shaven because they knew what to expect when having sex. They anticipated mouths and tongues slipping and sliding in places where hair grew and wasn’t always appreciated. Sucking on Ellis’s hairy ballsac reminded me that no other guy had been here. I was his first. Little ol’ me and my predisposition to blurt out inappropriate comments during Ellis’s introduction to Gay Sex 101.

This needed to be good!

I took his testicles into my mouth and rolled each one around with my tongue. Ellis groaned my name, giving me an unexpected thrill. He groaned my name! I pushed his legs wider, and he bent his knees on cue, opening himself to me willingly. I caressed his ass as I suckled him and then grazed his entrance with my thumb. Ellis jerked, groaning some more.

Licking as I was, and slobbering all over his private areas, gave me more ideas how to please him. Besides the sensitivity of his scrotum, I knew Ellis would also enjoy a good rim job! Granted, I’d never actually done it before, but how hard could it be to eat a guy’s ass?

I sat up and grabbed a pillow. “Here, let me put this under your hips,” I instructed.

Ellis didn’t question me. In fact, the glazed expression of hormonal intoxication that exuded from his eyes was more than enough to convince me he was enjoying himself. Without delay, Ellis allowed me to elevate his hips, and he unquestionably exposed himself by pulling his knees toward his shoulders.

Casually, I resumed my slippery treatment of his scrotum before inching my way down. I licked and sucked and then released his balls, flicking my tongue around the skin underneath. I jutted the tip of my tongue down further and tickled my intended target. Ellis gasped, and the pink pucker before my eyes eased open a smidgen. I licked again, and Ellis cooed—fucking cooed!—as his sphincter relaxed. Right then I let loose and teased his hole with my tongue for as long as humanly possible.

I couldn’t believe I was doing this. I’d never done something so intimate. Sure, fucking could be considered intimate, but there was also a huge detachment quality to it if you closed your eyes and imagined something else. (Like getting fucked in a parking lot and imagining it was a hot actor, or even wanking off in bed with your roommate in mind.) I tongued Ellis and felt more turned on than any other time in my life.

I sucked and I probed, but as I did so, my own body reminded me that holding back was damn near impossible. I need to penetrate him. The thought stunned me. Me. I, Cole Reid, was about to fuck my friend. Would I be good enough? Could I sink into him deep enough? I wasn’t exactly endowed. I did fuck that one guy that one time and he hadn’t complained, but I didn’t want to be bad for Ellis.

One step at a time, Cole. One step at a time.

First I had to prepare him. That would be the courteous thing to do. Sucking his cock was the best distraction I could think of while preparing him for entry so I positioned myself and pulled him into my mouth. I took my time conducting oral sex as I let my saliva drip from the corner of my mouth and coat my fingers. This had to be perfect for him! On second thought, lube was way better. I moved fast to snag the bottle from my drawer before Ellis questioned why I stopped. Saliva is good, it’s fine, but lube is slippery and designed not to dry up quickly. Ellis deserved a smooth experience for his first penetration.

I coated my fingers and rubbed them over his pulsing ring of muscle and hoped I wasn’t pushing my luck as I forced one finger inside. As he tensed up, I sucked extra hard on his crown and swirled my tongue along the ridge. That seemed to work. His hips rested once again on the mattress, but I did notice him fist the sheets as I pumped and twisted my finger.

“Cooole….” My name came out as a desperate plea to stop— or maybe keep going, I wasn’t sure. I twisted my finger again, and he repeated, “Cooole.” Maybe two fingers would tell me for sure if this pursuit was welcome or not? “Ahhh,” he cried, squeezing his sphincter as tight as it possibly could get with two fingers inside.

I let his shaft slide from my lips and pumped it slowly with my fist. “Ellis, relax,” I said. “I won’t hurt you.”

He was breathing hard, but he succeeded in relaxing enough to allow my fingers room to move. This was my last chance. I needed him to feel that last known secret among gay men; the one that straight men never understood and therefore taunted us foolishly by calling us butt-fuckers. Of course we were butt-fuckers! Do you know how incredible it feels to get your butt fucked? No! You’re straight.

I curled my fingers and searched out that one spot that gave gay men the edge in pleasure-educing positions. Ellis’s hips buckled. “Cole!” His cry hit soprano. Bingo! He’s not going to struggle against this sensation now!

I brushed over his prostate again, and he panted, “More.”

I pumped and twisted my fingers before inserting a third, hearing his grunt of surprise as I gave his sweet spot another nudge. He rewarded my efforts by touching my hair and rasping, “Oh God, Cole, that feels so good.”

I was done. I’d prepped him as best I could, but I’d be damned if I was going to wait any longer. I needed release so bad and I didn’t want the explosion to happen all over my bed—it was going to be inside of Ellis! I grabbed a condom out of the nightstand as Ellis watched me. He let go of his knees and tenderly held my waist.

I positioned myself and looked into his eyes before pressing in. I could feel him shaking beneath me. I saw anxiety in his face, but not fear. I rested my weight on him and kissed his mouth as I slowly breached his opening. He quivered and cried out.

I searched his eyes as he panted. “Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

 

“No. Just give… me a second.” Ellis closed his eyes and seemed to will away the pain.

I complied, not so happily. Holding still as his ass gripped my throbbing penis was not optimum pleasure for me. It was like holding a chocolate bar between your lips and not being allowed to eat it. Oh, man, I wanted to devour it!

When he opened eyes again, he urged, “Go ahead, move. I want to feel you move.” So move I did. Slowly, of course—I didn’t want to scare the shit out of him any more than I already had. I pumped in and out several times before picking up the pace. He lifted his legs and locked them around my waist, and I swiveled my hips.

Ellis cried in a pitch that only dogs could hear, and I knew things would go smoother from there on out—no way he was going to fight that. He thrust his hips up to meet mine and tugged me down for a bruising kiss. I hammered in and out, harder and harder, until we were both moaning from release. I couldn’t believe my own aggression as I fucked him. It scared me. I was an animal, and yet Ellis took every bit of it! He gripped my ribs, leaving his fingerprints as permanent tattoos, and groaned so loud I swore the police would be showing up any second to cite us for disturbing the peace.

Spent, I sprawled on top of his heaving body and felt the wetness between us. Sticky and delicious. I’d made him come so hard it felt like a pool of lava oozing from where our skin connected. I hated pulling out. I wanted to lie there for hours feeling him all around me, smelling the musky thickness of sex in the air, and listening to his steady breathing. I knew I couldn’t.

For one thing, a condom dried to my genitals was about the least appealing thing I could wish for after sex. Another was the uncertainty of knowing whether he would stay and snuggle or grab his things and go. When I returned from the bathroom with a towel, my answer was given to me. Ellis was asleep. This was my bed. I had every right to remain in my own bed! If he wanted to leave, he was free to. I wiped the wetness off his abdomen and retrieved the extra blanket from the closet.

As I turned out the light and settled against my pillow, Ellis rolled over and snuggled against my back. He pulled me close, and I felt his breath in my ear. I swear he sighed in a way that melted my heart.

Then the unthinkable occurred. Somewhere between afterclimax euphoria and ejaculation-enduced sleep, Ellis whispered in my ear, “I love you, Cole.” My eyes snapped open in the dark.

“What did you just say?” I asked none too politely.

Ellis didn’t say anything else. He hugged me and murmured nonsensical things. That was when I knew the morning was going to prove interesting.