Chapter 6 Rainy and Whet Wet

CAMPING was something I hadn’t done since I was a kid. I remembered going with my parents and smelling bacon in the wee hours of the morning. Although, when my mom cooked bacon, one side was still raw while the cooked side was black as tar. She was terrible with the cook stove in the middle of the woods. Still, we always had fun. My sister would collect wildflowers and present them as a gift to my mom, and she would make a show and thank Bethany profusely for her wonderful offering. Meanwhile, my dad would try to catch dinner and return with a fish smaller than an appetizer at a fancy restaurant. We’d all laugh, and Mom would pull out a container of chili she’d prepared ahead of time and heat it up for us.

Those were the days!
Not so much now.

I arrived with “the guys” late in the evening. We’re talking late. Pitch black, freezing cold, and starting to rain. Not my ideal list of camping essentials; these were the reasons not to go camping, in my book. Apparently, Ellis’s friends hadn’t received that memo, so we all went.

Much to my surprise, there was a group of campers there to greet us and help with our gear. See, when I went camping, it was “car” camping. My dad pulled the SUV up to a campsite and we pitched a tent. All our stuff was right there. In this campground, the sites were a hundred yards away because it was for group camping—something I had never done. It was nice of these people to pitch in and help, because I was in no mood to haul all my crap through the woods in the dark!

“You didn’t tell me about all these other people,” I griped to Ellis when the others weren’t paying attention.

“Oh, I didn’t?” He seemed surprised by his lack of detail sharing. “Well, this is Rob’s church group. I think he said maybe seven families were camping here over the weekend and about fifteen people from the college. It should be fun!” He said this with a grin and nudged me with his elbow.

Chirpy. He was always chirpy and pleasant. Why? I gave him a scowl in reply but he only chuckled. “Terrific,” I said as I rolled my eyes.

Classes had been intense the past two weeks, so between papers, projects, and soccer, there hadn’t been any time to explore whatever was happening between us. We simply settled into a fond friendship. You know, one of those friendships with a little more affection than most, since he did touch me more than anyone else, but not enough affection to be considered a “public display.” I liked the “A,” don’t get me wrong, but I wanted the “PD” part of it as well! So far, not so much. Ellis seemed shy, and I’m not a person to push for anything that doesn’t happen naturally. We’d only known each other a short while, so I figured I could take it one day at a time and one flirtatious glance at a time.

The gear-unloading process took literally minutes as each person took a bag or two, and before I knew it, our tent was set up and there was a fire burning. I was impressed. I didn’t think they’d mentioned being Boy Scouts, but they could have been.

“Who is sleeping in that tent?” I asked, pointing to a smaller tent next to the big tent.

“That’s for our gear,” Ellis explained. “Rob and Russ were going to sleep in it, but we decided to all sleep in the big one I brought and put our stuff in the little one. That way, we stay warmer and the bags stay dry. I think it’s supposed to rain every day.”

“Seriously? Then why, exactly, are we still here?”

Ellis gave me that charming smile of his that lights up the universe and said, “Because it’s going to be fun. You’re wearing Gore-Tex; I wouldn’t worry about being wet. Just make sure to put on layers and stand by the fire. You’ll be fine.”

“Hey, guys!” Rob called from across the path. “There’s food over here. Hotdogs and s’mores! Come on.”

 

Russell stopped poking our fire and nodded to Ellis. “Coming?”

 

“Yeah,” he said. “In a second.”

 

I watched Russell scamper off. “Gee, you guys go all-out on the nutrition scale. Are we having scrapple for breakfast?”

Ellis stepped in front of me before I’d taken two steps toward the other campsite. Sometimes I forget he’s taller than me, because most of the time he’s lying on the couch playing Xbox, and sometimes I forget just how incredible he smells. But just now, with him peering down at me those few inches with just enough light from the fire behind me to flicker in his eyes, my breath caught in my throat. I hoped he hadn’t heard me gasp.

“Cole, you’ll have fun,” he said in that deep, mellifluous voice of his—the one that could be used for voice-overs if the animated characters ever needed to be sensual or debaucherous. (I suppose that’s not a word. How about “lecherous”? Yeah, that will do.) I tried hard not to make any of these mental notes out loud as he continued talking. “I promise. No need for sarcasm, no need to point out that it’s warmer and drier back in the apartment. This weekend is about relaxing and enjoying our friendship.”

I had to ask. “Yours and mine? Or being friends with everyone else? Because I’m not sure I’ll like everyone else.”

Ellis smirked. “Everyone else,” he said, briefly stroking the whiskers on my chin with his thumb and forefinger. “I’m pretty sure you and I don’t need a camping trip to enjoy being friends. Come on.”

His bold move, however fleeting, left me weak in the knees. He was three steps ahead of me before my brain kicked in and told me to move. I hurried to catch up, wobbling my way over tree branches and weaving around rocks and ferns. Ellis looked back and smirked at me. And even though that gleam in his eye didn’t help me to focus on walking straight, I was glad he was waiting for me to catch up. He’s courteous like that.

We walked over to the other camp together, and sure enough, there were hotdogs a-roasting and s’mores galore. Ellis slapped hands with several college-aged kids and then, much to my chagrin, turned my way. I like fading into the shadows, Ellis, remember?

“Hey, everybody, this is my roommate, Cole.” He patted my shoulder, and the group around us waved and gestured cheerfully. He looked at me and pointed to each person respectively. “Cole, this is John, James, Tina, Lisa….” He paused as he turned to the other side of us. “And Tim, Mike—you know Mike—Maggie, Alex, Nick, and Sandy.” Why he bothered with all their names I’m not sure; it wasn’t like I’d remember them beyond this weekend, anyway.

Then Russell extended his hand and added, “And I’m Russ and this is my buddy Rob.” He slapped Rob’s stomach as he took my hand and shook it.

“Ha ha,” I mocked.

“Cole doesn’t get out enough, guys, so we gotta make this a memorable adventure.” Ellis was so very good at pointing out my flaws.

“Shut up,” I grumbled, elbowing him.

He snickered in that annoying way he does and walked over to a man standing under an easy-up canopy, leaving me alone with the group of merry churchgoers.

I never went to church myself. My mom and dad never attended when I was young, so it wasn’t something I thought of doing as I got older. I wasn’t against church, necessarily, but it was the whole part about homosexuality being a sin that I tended to avoid. I’m gay, remember? God’s wrath pouring down on me for something I had no choice over didn’t seem very fair.

But being here, with them, I had to admit they seemed like a nice group. They laughed and joked just like everyone else. I even forgot how tired I was. And how cold.

Sinking into my sleeping bag was the pinnacle of bliss. I couldn’t believe it was almost midnight! Rob was on the far left of the tent, then Russell, then Ellis, and then me—squished up against the other side of the tent. Rob was squawking at Russell in the dark. “Stop touching me!”

I laughed quietly to myself, thinking about how they acted like a bunch of twelve-year-olds.

 

“I’m not doing anything. That was Ellis,” Russell weakly defended himself.

 

“Don’t drag me into this,” I heard Ellis say.

They’d agreed on lights out five minutes prior so that no one had a flashlight beaming in their eyes when trying to fall asleep. It was a good plan, but no one seemed ready for the call of Morpheus. They were still play-fighting.

“Get your finger out of my ear, you dipwad!” Rob murmured angrily, although I guarantee he wasn’t angry at Russell—he never was.

“I didn’t do it!”

“Get off!” Rob said louder. And then I heard rustling, the shiny fabric of the tents and sleeping bags rubbing together in that audible way they do when cotton never makes a sound.

Ellis, who was facing the other way, took the opportunity to roll over and look at me. I couldn’t really see him completely. It was very dark, yet as I stared, I could make out his face and nose and finally his eyes. There must have been a strong moon, or maybe it was the fact that when your eyes dilate in the dark you can eventually see more, but I could see his expression after a few minutes. He looked serene.

When he noticed I was looking at him as he was looking at me, he stuck out his tongue. When I smiled, he crossed his eyes. Then, when I rolled my eyes and minutely shook my head, he crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue as he crinkled one side of his face. He was so funny sometimes. I really enjoyed that part of him.

Our relationship might not have gone where I’d have led it, if given the choice, but after the initial angst over learning to live together, and then the whole uncomfortable Bermuda Triangle of uncertainty after the kiss, I was simply glad to joke and laugh with him. He was so cool to laugh with!

Then Rob must have gotten tired of fussing at Russell and given him a shove, because Russell collided with Ellis, and then Ellis was pushed closer to me.

“Get away!” Rob said.
“Gladly,” Russell replied.
I didn’t say a thing. Neither did Ellis.

Ellis was practically nose to nose with me, lying partially over my body, and all silly expressions vanished from his face. He was suddenly serious. I felt his breath on my chin and noticed how hard he was breathing. I swallowed the lump in my throat and wished the lighting was better to see him by. I loved his eyes, and considering the fact they were, like, an inch and a half from mine, I truly wished I could see the color more.

If this was any indication of what the next few days would be like, I wanted to go camping every weekend.

I DIDN’T know how long we lay there like that—staring at each

other in the dead of night—but morning peered over the horizon faster than I deemed possible. I looked around, but Rob and Ellis were gone. Russell was snoring. And I was feeling the hunger pangs of someone in desperate need of coffee and sausages.

I slipped through the tent opening and breathed in a lungful of cool, mountain air. It was crisp and clean and refreshing. Not too bad. I could see smoke rising from the fire across the way, and lots of people already milling around at… clock check: 7:02 in the morning! I spied Ellis wearing his Steelers sweatshirt and smiled to myself.

Yeah, it’s time to get up and greet the day, I sighed as I took a fresh pair of socks out of my bag.

I wasn’t sure why we even had a fire at our camp, because it was seriously superfluous. This camp across the path, and I forget which family it belonged to, seemed to have everything! Literally. Well, except for maybe the kitchen sink. They had two easy-ups and a table laid out with muffins, hash browns, sausages, bacon, and even doughnuts! The coffee was piping hot and they had three different types of creamer. What kind of camping is this? Except for the lack of beds to sleep on, it was like a five-star hotel. I snagged a piece of bacon as I heard someone trotting up behind me.

I turned to find Ellis—cheery as ever—standing there. He grabbed me around the shoulders with one arm and squeezed. “Morning, pal!”

Pal. I guess I could settle for that if nothing else was on the menu.

I lifted my eyebrows and tilted my chin slightly in response. No need for me to be all Pollyanna and pretend to be something I wasn’t. He knew I wasn’t a morning person. If everyone else needed to be warned, well, I wasn’t going to be bothered about that. They’d figure it out soon enough.

Ellis took a Styrofoam plate and piled on some eggs, fresh off the skillet. “You want eggs? Dave makes great eggs!” He pointed to the guy next to the Coleman stove.

“Hi,” the guy named Dave (apparently) said with a smile.

(Is it me? Or do all these people just seem too nice? I’m not used to large groups of genuinely nice people. There has to be a catch!)

I replied, “Yeah, I’ll take some eggs.”

Why fight it? Ellis had a “thing” for breakfast, and if I tried to explain my normal tendency of skipping “the most important meal of the day” he might have a conniption. I didn’t want to upset Ellis; not when he wore the most adorable smile on the planet right now. He looked positively tickled. Perhaps coming camping with him really did mean more than he’d let on? He was adding things to my plate left and right. Bacon, potatoes, a muffin, two sausages and some eggs—of course, can’t forget the eggs.

When he was done, I just stood there, waiting for him to make eye contact. “What?” he asked with an innocent glint.

My inner snark took over. “Um, are you planning on helping me fulfill my dream of becoming a sumo wrestler? There’s no way I can eat all this.”

Ellis didn’t look offended at all when he beamed back at me. “No, silly. You eat whatever you want. I’ll finish the rest. Come on.” He turned and motioned for me to follow him to the campfire, where it seemed all the same people from the night before sat. Did they ever go to bed? They all had plates balanced on their laps, which was fine for the agile crowd, but not so much for the nimbly challenged, such as myself. (Or Russell, for that matter.)

Ellis sat next to me and put his cup of joe on a rock at the edge of the fire ring. He greeted Lisa and Sandy with a smile as he munched on his eggs and hotcakes. He wasn’t talking. And he wasn’t looking at me. But the whole time we ate and listened to the little conversations around us, I had the distinct impression his eyes were on me the whole time. And when that guy named Dave, the one who cooked the eggs, mentioned something about a hike later in the morning, Ellis nodded and agreed for us to join them while at the same moment reaching over and stealing a piece of my bacon off my plate without any hesitation at all. Did guys really do that? Did we do that? I didn’t remember him eating off my plate at the apartment. Separate plates. Separate glasses. Separate everything. And here he just took a slice of bacon out of the blue! What was going on here? I thought only couples did that.

Internally I was flipping out, but on the outside I continued to eat as if nothing was amiss. No need to draw undue attention our way if no one cared to begin with. Ellis was a friendly person; perhaps he did this with all his friends? I didn’t know. I’d only met a few of them. He kind of did his own thing at home, and what he did with the soccer crowd, I had no clue.

As everyone ate, the guy named Alex came over with his guitar, took a seat, and began to strum. It was nice. Several people must have recognized the tune, as it prompted a spontaneous singalong among the campers. Ellis included. I’d never heard him sing before—aside from occasional snippets from outside of the bathroom door. He had a deeper voice than I imagined. Baritone. Sexy. I had almost gotten caught up in its melodious allure when a little birdie told me to stop staring.

Thank God for that little birdie!

I shifted my eyes back to the dancing flames and concentrated on all the little things that didn’t give me an erection: the Gettysburg Address, my mom’s blueberry pie, midterms, Newtonian Mechanics—no, that actually did give me a hard-on; point being, I needed to control myself or this day could end badly.

Besides, I didn’t know what Ellis was thinking. So he’d kissed me? Once! It didn’t mean anything. (Oh, wait, I also kissed him that time after breakfast.) And he liked touching me sometimes—no big deal. Rob and Russell touched all the time! And so last night we shared a “moment”? So what! It didn’t imply that anything was going to happen between us.

Moreover, Ellis had said these were church people. Unless they all attended the Unitarian Universalist Church of Love, I was pretty certain they wouldn’t appreciate my homosexualness. Some people did, some didn’t; but I wasn’t in the habit of spewing out personal facts in a church setting. While I was here, I was bound and determined to keep it to myself. If no one was going to stand up and shout, “I’m straight,” then I wasn’t going to wave my Pride flag.

A SHORT time later, people started cleaning up and discussing possible hike scenarios. True to his word, Ellis cleaned my plate after I had finished. Not a word about it, he just took it from my grasp and gobbled the rest of it down. I swear I don’t know where he puts it, because he’s built like a brick wall.

Apparently there was a lake nearby with a dam, and the consensus was to check it out. Twelve people were going, which meant only two cars were needed if we crammed. I got stuck in the back next to Tina and Sandy. (I’m always in the back because I’m so skinny.) Ellis opened the door and popped his head in.

“Got room for one more?” he asked.

I tried sliding over to make room but there really wasn’t much. Then James from the front seat offered to switch. He jumped out and let Ellis have the passenger seat. James was small. I couldn’t blame him for taking pity on Ellis’s long legs and wide shoulders. Still, a part of me protested his graciousness on the grounds of jealousy. I coveted that front seat! Not the seat itself, but the idea that Ellis’s body was pressed all over it, and not a bit of him was pressed against me! Damn seat.

James was nice-looking but he had nothing on Ellis, so the ride to the lake was bearable. We got out of the sardine can and stretched before deciding on the best trail to take. Rob voted for adventure and chose a trail that went all the way around the lake. Russell tried to point out that there was no way of knowing if the trail extended that far around, but Rob put his foot down and started walking. I guess we were a bunch of lemmings because everyone else followed suit. Good thing there wasn’t a cliff in sight!

After about thirty minutes, it started raining. The sound of the rain was peaceful. I could hear it hitting the leaves above with small pit-pats, but the canopy was enough to keep it off my head. No one was discouraged because of the rain; if anything, it brought out the kid in all of us. Rob and Russell chased each other with long sticks, pretending to sword fight. Alex picked up stones along the way and threw them at trees down the trail. Sandy and Lisa picked flowers and found the largest mushroom I’d ever seen. And Ellis? Well, Ellis tended to skip ahead and then drop back and circle around like a border collie herding in the flock. I guess he liked to keep tabs on people or something. He was chatting with everyone.

“How ya doing, buddy?” he asked me a few times. And after I answered, “Fine,” he kept on flitting.
Then we came to a large impasse, and the group stopped cold.

No one sat and scratched their chins, but they might as well have. You could see several of the men working out just how they were going to cross the little rivulet that ran across the path. We could see where we needed to go, but the water looked deep and probably very cold.

I knelt down and stuck my finger in. “Oh yes, very cold.” “I figured it would be,” Lisa said, standing next to me.

“How are we going to cross, Boy Wonder?” I looked to Rob for the answer. “Do you have a grappling hook inside a gadget on your belt?”

“I wish. Um, I’m working it out.” He said it, but the look on his pursed face didn’t agree.

“Look!” Russell pointed. “We can step across on that row of rocks.”
Ellis, who’d slipped in beside me quietly, commented, “They look slippery, and there aren’t enough to make it all the way across without getting wet.”

I looked at Ellis, he looked at me, and then we both studied the water’s edge.
“I’m going to look farther up,” said James, trotting off.

Our group scattered, and when I wasn’t paying attention, there stood Lisa on the opposite side. “Wait… how did you get over there?” I called across.

She smiled and held up a pair of shoes and socks. “I took my shoes off.”

I felt a cold shiver travel up my legs from the mere thought of walking through the water. She apparently had! I could see her pink little feet as she dried them off with her socks and then put her shoes back on. Then Rob stood on the opposite bank, holding Sandy on his back. Russell walked up behind him holding James. Each rider hopped off their taxi and waved across to those of us still wondering how we were going to cross.

Alex and that Dave guy stepped across on those slippery rocks Russell had pointed out earlier but hadn’t utilized on his own. Their feet were a little wet, but they made it. I figured I’d give it a go, too, but Ellis grabbed my elbow.

“What?” I asked.

 

“You aren’t going to try that, are you? It’s slippery.” Ellis objected.

 

“And you ask because you have a better suggestion?”

“Up there,” he said, gesturing. “A bunch of the others went across those rocks and made out better than Alex and Dave. You don’t want cold feet, do you?”

“No, but that spot is just as sketchy as this one. I’ll be fine.” I proceeded to grab hold of a branch and steady myself as I tentatively toed the first slime-covered rock in the water.

Then Rob scowled and chastised Ellis by saying, “Dude, are you seriously allowing Cole to walk across that! Have you seen him walk? He makes me look elegant.”

I grinned in a way that said “bite me,” but I answered as politely as I could. “Thanks, Rob. Appreciate it, man.”

“I’m just being honest. I don’t want you falling in and trudging your soggy self up the trail to my car. And did I tell you, El, about the other day? I saw Cole literally fall up the steps. I mean, who does that? Up steps. I mean, really.” He held his hands out to the sides and shook his head. His bewildered expression even made me snicker, and the whole thing was about me.

“Then what do you suggest?” Ellis asked.

“Carry him. Like Russ did James. You have Gore-Tex boots on, your feet will be fine.”
“You can’t be serious,” I said, looking at Rob and then back to Ellis. The thought of wrapping my legs around Ellis was too much. There was no way I was going to let him carry me. I didn’t give him the chance. I quickly stepped out onto the first rock and wobbled onto the second. I nearly got to the forth before I felt cold water on my toes.

“Ellis, it figures—he’s just as pigheaded as you!”
I heard Ellis chuckle behind me.

I made it over and turned around to see Ellis following the same path. After he stepped ashore, I pointed at my Converse All Stars. “See, only one got a tad wet.”

Ellis grinned. “I thought a ‘tad’ was half a million miles in space terms?”

 

I scrunched up one eye and stuck out my tongue. Ellis laughed even more. But then… so did I.

BACK at camp, we stood around the fire again. By now it was pouring. Water was coming down in buckets, but no one seemed bothered at all. There were about twenty people huddled around the fire, singing and roasting marshmallows. Everyone was so wet that steam rose off our jackets and our hair stuck to our faces. I stood there thinking this was about the best camping trip I’d ever taken.

Then Rob starts up a new song that required gestures. Gestures, good grief! “Repeat after me, and move like I move,” he instructed. “I have a piece of cookie dough.” He held out his hand like it really had dough in it.

Everyone repeated, “I have a piece of cookie dough.” (Complete with hand gestures.)

 

“I put it in my pocket.” Rob put his hand in his pocket and waited for everyone to do the same.

The little song went on for about twenty minutes. The cookie dough—evidently—had the growing power of a test-tube science project gone wrong. It grew to humungous proportions and stuck to everything in sight. People around the fire were hopping on one leg pretending their hands were stuck to their ankles. Everyone was laughing, even me. It was simply hilarious to watch everyone joining in, no matter how ludicrous the action. Rob was undeniably a showman and a leader and knew how to work a crowd. He had everyone forgetting about the pouring rain. I almost didn’t want the night to end.

But then it did, and we plodded back over to our camp and the dark, cold tent.

When I returned from the bathhouse after brushing my teeth, I noticed the sleeping bags had been rearranged. It appeared that Rob didn’t want Russell sleeping next to him, so he took the opportunity in Ellis’s absence to move Ellis in between them. I felt a twinge of disappointment, but it was no big deal. It was dark and we were going to be sleeping! I crawled in and got myself comfy and waited for Ellis’s reaction.

“Oh no, no, no. We’re not playing musical sleeping bags,” he said.

 

Rob explained his side of the story. “I’m not sleeping next to him. He snores.”

 

Ellis cocked his head. “Dude, we’re in a tent. The snoring doesn’t magically disappear if he’s on the other side of me!” “Well, it won’t be in my ear!”

“I’m not happy about this, but whatever.” Ellis made his way in and zipped up the flap of the tent. I watched him shimmy his body into the sleeping bag and adjust his pillow before lying flat and therefore disappearing from my view. “Good night, Cole.” His voice drifted to my ears.

I smiled. “Good night, Ellis.”
“Good night, John-Boy,” Rob said. My smile grew wider. Russell replied, “Good night, Sue Ellen.”
“It’s Mary Ellen,” Rob corrected Russell.

“Really? I thought it was Sue Ellen?” The flashlight flickered across the top of the tent.

 

“No. You’re getting The Waltons confused with Seinfeld.”

“No, I’m not!” Russell lifted up and leaned over Ellis’s body, pointing his flashlight at Rob. “They are totally different shows. Why on earth would I get them confused?”

“Because you’re a deranged and confused person. Now turn that thing off and go to sleep.”

Russell plopped back down and turned off his light. Quiet. Nothing. Then, seconds later, I heard him ask in the darkness, “So… who were the other Walton children?”

“Go to sleep, Russ,” Ellis mumbled.
“I can’t,” he whined. “Rob, sing me a song?”
Ellis protested, “You better not.”

I know I shouldn’t have been amused by their antics but I was. In fact, the interaction between them was growing on me like the comfort of my favorite slippers. Rob chuckled softly and began singing, despite Ellis’s warning. “All right, you chipmunks. Ready to sing your song?”

Russell quickly responded, “I’ll say we are!”

 

Ellis’s deep groans of disapproval rumbled through the air, adding to my secret enjoyment.

“Okay, Russell?” Rob asked, substituting Russell for a chipmunk. (Which I thought was humorous.) Russell could be a chipmunk. I could picture him scurrying around looking for acorns and foraging in the underbrush with all his energy.

“Okay!”
“Okay, Cole?”
“Um, I’ll pass,” I answered politely.
“Okay, Ellis?”
“Go to sleep, Rob,” Ellis grumbled.
“Ellis?” Pause. “Ellis!”

“I said no!” Ellis was growly tonight, wasn’t he? I felt movement and heard the sleeping bag fabric again. I turned my head and saw Ellis’s cocoon lift up and roll over. (My eyes were adjusting nicely to the darkness.)

Rob was not bothered by Ellis’s mood. “Not a fan of the ‘Chipmunk Song’, eh?” he quipped. “I could sing Bob and Doug McKenzie’s version of ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’.”

“Please don’t,” Ellis moaned. “It’s practically October, for Pete’s sake!”

Russell piped in singing, “Four pounds of back bacon, three French toasts, two turtlenecks, and a beer….” He leaned his body over Ellis. On the last line, Rob joined him. “…in a tree!” They stopped, and Russell asked, “How does the beer stay in the tree? Wouldn’t it fall out?”

Ellis’s irritation got louder, although muffled from his position of lying facedown with Russell’s body draped over him. “Stooop. Go. To. Sleep.”

Rob and Russell ignored him. “I don’t know. I guess you could tie a string around it.”

 

Ellis lifted his head. “This is worse than singing. Russ, get off me.” He wiggled around.

 

“Oh, so you want more singing?” Russell asked rhetorically. “Oooh, how about some Bob Rivers?” Rob chirped, full of excitement.

Russell laughed, still leaning over Ellis, still ignoring his wiggling and whining. He crooned leisurely, “Lacy things, the wife is missing….”

Rob chimed in and sang the next line, “Didn’t ask for her permission….”

They alternated lines until they got to the chorus and then harmonized together, singing, “Walking Around In Woman’s Underwear,” which was also the song’s title.

I started laughing. I remembered hearing the twisted tune played over the college radio one Christmas, but it was even funnier now hearing the guys’ rendition. I think the song was about a crossdresser or something, and when Rob sang the line about “handcuffs at night,” I about died. I couldn’t control the quaking of my body. I think I even snorted. These guys were so bad!

Ellis was not amused. “Rob, quit it. Russ, get off!” Russell lay back down and continued singing.

“Stop singing in my ear, Russ,” Ellis griped. I wasn’t sure why he was in such a bad mood. Earlier he was just fine—laughing and joking. What changed?

The song didn’t bother me, and I was the gay one of the bunch. They were just being Russell and Rob. Goofballs. If I didn’t care why should he?

Russell proposed a solution. “If you don’t like it, switch spots with me. I’d rather sleep next to Rob anyway. Cole is too quiet and you’re too grouchy.”

“And how do you suggest I do that? I can hardly move in here!” Ellis growled.

“Roll over me, you grumpy grizzly.”
“What?”

“You heard me. You’re in a sleeping bag. Pretend you’re a log and roll over my body. I’ll roll in the opposite direction and we’ll switch spots.”

Seems logical to me.

I heard some grunting and watched the darkened shapes lift and twist. Ellis wormed his way over Russell and rolled down as if off the side of a steep hill. All the way into me! Suddenly, we were nose to nose again, but this time I had a hard time believing it was purely accidental despite it being Russell’s idea and the difficulties of maneuvering in a bag.

I heard Russell and Rob faintly as they quietly sang together. “Have yourself a merry little Christmas.” It was lovely. They really did harmonize well together.

But no matter the pleasant air the singing gave to the night, I was distracted by Ellis’s proximity and aroma. I kept my eyes squeezed shut and pretended to be asleep.

His breath smelled cinnaminty, and my mouth watered involuntarily. This was so not fair. If he knew how hard this was for me, he would never have invited me along. His mouth was scant inches from mine, his breath drifting over my face, and his body was practically touching every part of mine. Sure, there were layers of Thinsulate and polyester in between, but I could still feel his weight on me.

Why didn’t he make a move to slide off?

Minutes passed and yet there he lay. The singing duo quieted down, and a little while later I heard Russell snoring as usual. I didn’t dare move. I loved his weight on me, but I didn’t understand. What was going on? Ellis knew I was gay. Why would he be so cruel as to lie on top of me? Didn’t he know how turned on I’d be? Not that simply having a guy lie on top of me assured anything, but this was Ellis. Ellis! The guy who kissed me. Ellis! The sexy soccer player who invaded my dreams every night to press my naked body against the wall as he….

I swallowed hard. I was seriously seconds from a panic attack. I needed to calm down and think logically. Breathe, breathe. Maybe Ellis really didn’t know what he was doing to me. Russell was just lying all over him and he didn’t seem to care too much. The three of them were always wrestling in the living room and carrying on like crazies. They were touchy people. I just wasn’t used to it, that was all. I came from a family of nonhuggers. The cramped sleeping arrangement would end in the morning. I could handle it.

Oh God, no, I can’t.

Just when I thought I couldn’t take another second of this titillating torture, Ellis shifted his body weight, and I involuntarily popped open my eyes. I caught a glimpse of Ellis’s eyes shutting as he leaned in the rest of the way and touched his lips to mine. I couldn’t believe it, and I almost jumped back in shock. (I know I flinched as I sucked air in through my nose.) However, my brain is often overridden by my libido, and I found myself kissing him back without a conscious decision to do so.

Kissing Ellis! It was wonderful.

Unlike before, when he kissed me on the couch and then pulled away and began a week’s worth of bizarre mood swings, this time I could feel his tongue flicking in and out, licking me as he claimed each soft kiss. These were restrained kisses, I could tell. After all, his friends were sleeping right there, and we couldn’t risk getting caught. I let him run the show and enjoyed every second. I was somewhat surprised by his boldness when he widened his lips and probed mine for entrance, but I didn’t resist one iota. I was willing give him whatever he asked for.

And the feel of his tongue gliding over mine was heavenly.

Then he pressed closer to me, meshing his lips firmly to mine and fully engaging in an exploration of the contours of my mouth and throat. I could feel his foot rubbing my leg through the sleeping bag, and I had to remind myself not to groan for fear of being overheard.

I faintly heard a zipper before his hand—warm and toasty— cupped my jaw. Oh God! I wanted him so bad, but if I didn’t keep reciting the lyrics to the national anthem in my head, I was going to start moaning into his mouth and pull his body completely over mine.

Ellis tasted so good.

Oh shit! I think he just thrust his pelvis into mine. No, no, no, this is not happening. I could feel small movements. This was turning into a nightmare. I could feel my throbbing groin taking notice and desiring to thrust back. No, no, no! I can’t do this quietly. I can’t do this at all. I don’t want to grind against him until I spurt, I want to roll him over and rip his clothes off!

Ellis must have felt my tension. (Perhaps through my hesitance.) He slowly withdrew his tongue from my mouth and kissed me a few more time before leaning back. I could barely breathe as I looked into his eyes. He stared at me. What was that look? Longing? Desire? Confusion? Hard to tell in near darkness. Just when I opened my mouth to whisper a question, Ellis rolled off me.

He lay there very still.

 

Then Russell snorted really loud and woke Rob up. “Russ!” I heard rustling and then all was quiet again.

 

I closed my eyes and hoped I would dream all night of that kiss we’d just shared.