Chapter Sixteen
Xavier
Xavier dragged himself into his brother’s apartment a little after two in the morning. He couldn’t bring himself to think of it as his place anymore, not after yesterday. All he wanted was an ice-cold beer from the six pack he bought a few days ago, then his bed. Everett had texted him throughout the day, returning some of the torture he’d inflicted upon his sweet little boy toy.
Xavier grabbed a beer from the fridge and started for his room when he heard his name come from the living room.
Xavier padded over to the light switch and flicked it. Andrew, a very wasted Andrew, blinked at him. His head swivelled, unsteady on his shoulders.
“What time isssit?” He slurred his words and wiped a hand down his face.
“Jesus, fuck, dude. How much did you drink?” Xavier surveyed the scene. An empty twelve-pack of beer sat at Andrew’s feet. Empty bottles littered the coffee table.
“Not enough. Still hurtss.” Andrew tried to bend down to fish in the empty case for another beer and instead toppled onto the living room floor.
“You should go to bed, man.” Xavier set down the beer he no longer wanted and moved to help Andrew.
“Stay away, Xav,” Andrew paused, probably to swallow down the vomit Xavier expected any moment, “Xavier. Stay away. Don’t need you. Don’t need anyone. Especially not him. Fucking Everett.” Andrew sniffled and pushed himself slowly to his hands and knees. Xavier watched him sway, then crumple onto his side.
“Dude. Let me help you to bed. You can sleep it off. You’ll feel better in the morning.”
“Liar. I won’t. Sober didn’t make it better. Drunk didn’t make it better.”
Xavier rubbed a hand down his face. “He misses you, too, you know. He fucking hates that you’re mad at him over this. All you have to do is pick up the phone and fucking text him.”
Andrew choked on a sob. He stared up at Xavier with glassy eyes, then forced himself into a kneeling position. “Sure. Call him up. Tell him I fucking loved him first. That’ll win him over.”
Xavier didn’t know what to say to that, so he said nothing. He should’ve known it had been more than Andrew wanting to protect Everett, or Andrew being jealous over Xavier’s instant connection with Andrew’s best friend. Andrew was in love with Everett. Andrew. Straight as an arrow, only ever had a few serious girlfriends, Andrew, in love with his best friend. Fuck.
“Drew…”
“He’s too good for you. Too good for me. For anyone.”
Fuck that. Xavier thought. He knew he was good enough for Everett if for no other reason than Everett had chosen him. Xavier’s phone chimed in his pocket and he pulled it out. It was two thirty in the morning and Everett had sent him a text message of an empty pillow.
Wish you were here.
Xavier grinned, he couldn’t help it, and texted him back.
Me too.
“That’s him issnit? I never rated high enough to get fucking…fucking texts at two in the morning.”
“Drew. You’re loaded. You need to go sleep it off.”
“You need to stay the fuck out of my life. You’re a little pain in the ass, Xavier. Always were. Snot-nosed fucking brat followed me around everywhere. Wanted me to be your fuckin’ hero.”
Xavier watched as Andrew pushed himself to his feet and stumbled down the hallway, talking the whole time about what a piece of shit Xavier was. What an annoyance he’d always been. How much Andrew had hated having him around. It wasn’t as if Xavier needed to hear it, he already knew it. The moment Andrew could leave, he did, and after that Xavier didn’t seem to matter much to his older brother.
Logical Xavier knew Andrew was wasted and hurt. He needed to lash out and Xavier’s proximity made him a convenient target. Emotionally, Xavier crumbled like a little kid who’d been kicked in the shins by his hero. Andrew wasn’t wrong. He’d worshipped him when he was a kid.
Xavier slipped quietly to his room and with shaking hands, he gathered all his belongings and shoved them into his bags. He shot Everett a text. If Everett wasn’t cool with the idea, he’d talk to Steve in the morning.
Xavier: You awake, babe? The endearment slipped off his fingers faster than he could think, but he left it there because he needed it. He needed Everett to be his.
Everett: Yeah. What’s up, honey?
Xavier almost chuckled at the sappy question. Instead, he hit call and waited for Everett to pick up.
“Hey, X.” Everett’s voice was thick with sleep and sex and Xavier’s heart pounded in his chest. What if Everett said no? Could he handle two rejections in one night? “Xavier? Babe? You okay?”
“I need a place to crash for a while.”
“Then you’ll crash here. What happened?”
“I’ll,” Xavier winced when his voice cracked. He cleared his throat and shoved his laptop into a bag. “I’ll tell you when I get there.”
“Do you want me to come get you? You’ll get here faster, and I don’t want you on the bus this time of night.”
Xavier’s heart warmed at the amount of concern Everett had for him. “Nah. You keep the bed warm for me. I’ll catch a cab.”
It took Xavier only a few minutes to sneak into the bathroom and gather all his toiletries. He made a pass through the kitchen, dropped a wad of cash on the counter. It wasn’t all he owed Andrew, but it would have to do for now. He pulled his keys out of his pocket and unthreaded the key to the front door and Andrew’s apartment and left them on the counter next to the money.
He grabbed his bags from his room and went downstairs to meet his Uber. He was thankful Everett’s building had an elevator, and he didn’t have to lug all his stuff up four flights of stairs.
Everett’s door was open, and he stood in the hallway clad in only a pair of stars and moons flannel pajama bottoms. He had his arms wrapped around himself, but the moment Xavier stepped off the elevator, Everett made his way to him.
Xavier dropped his bags, all except the shoulder bag his laptop was in and wrapped his arms around Everett. He buried his face in the crook of his neck and breathed him in.
“Thank you for calling me.” Everett mumbled into Xavier’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t’ve wanted you to stay anywhere else if you weren’t staying with Andrew.”
Everett grabbed his hand, and one of his bags and led him into his apartment. He closed the door, locked it, then led him to the bedroom. “You can unpack tomorrow. Right now, you’re going to come to bed and you’re going to cuddle the fuck out of me and tell me what went down, and after, if you want, you can fuck the cuddle out of me.” Everett winked as he put Xavier’s bag on the floor. Everett took the laptop bag off Xavier’s shoulder and set it aside. He gently pulled Xavier’s glasses off and set them on the dresser.
He breathed out. He still felt like shit but being with Everett made it not so bad. “I can do that.”
Xavier let Everett strip him. Everett gathered the hem of Xavier’s shirt and tugged it gently upward. The tips of his fingers grazed the backs of Xavier’s arms when he lifted it over Xavier’s head. He watched Everett’s fingers work on the button of his pants. Everett grabbed the waistband of his pants along with the briefs and worked them down his peach fuzz covered thighs. Everett’s breath puffed against Xavier’s knee as Everett lifted his foot and freed his legs, one at a time, from the clothing.
Everett stood, yanked his own pants off with lightning speed, his cock, thick and hard and angry, bobbed helplessly in the air, but Everett ignored it, grabbed Xavier’s hand and tugged him into bed. Xavier stretched out on his back and Everett curled up into him, his head on Xavier’s chest, his arm slung over his middle. Fingertips on his ribcage made Xavier shiver.
“What happened?” Everett asked after a few quiet minutes.
Xavier took a deep breath. “I didn’t want you to be angry with him, so I didn’t tell you that Andrew wants me to pay him rent for the months I’ve been there.”
“I thought he said he wasn’t charging you until you were working.”
“Well, now I’m working, and he wants his money.”
“That’s why you needed the extra shifts?”
“Yeah. I was okay with it you know. Sure, it was pissy and petulant, but he’s hurt, Everett.”
“That still doesn’t explain what happened tonight.”
“It’s not his fault, really. He was drunk out of his head. Barely conscious when I got home. He fell out of his chair. He was so wasted he could barely stand. And he didn’t mean all the shit he said, Ev, I know he didn’t.” Xavier would’ve liked to believe it, it was probably true. Enough of Xavier believed Andrew didn’t mean any of those things that it didn’t feel like a complete lie. The rest of Xavier doubted that Andrew had ever given much of a shit about him.
“What did he say, X?” Everett’s voice sounded thin.
God, Xavier hated this. Hated that he’d made everything complicated and hurtful. Maybe he should’ve talked to Andrew before he made a move on Everett. Maybe he should’ve let him get used to the idea. Then again, it might be better that he did it this way, he didn’t know anymore.
Xavier told Everett what Andrew said. How he thought Xavier was a pain in the ass and didn’t want him around. The exact words were burned into his brain.
“I don’t understand.” Everett said after a while. “Why’s he so angry? He’s seriously pissed, and I don’t get it. I thought he’d be, you know, weirded out, but I didn’t expect him to hate us.”
Xavier snorted. “Trust me. Hate is the last thing he feels for you.”
Everett pushed himself up onto his elbow and looked down at Xavier. His eyebrows were pulled together. “What do you mean?”
He reached for Everett. He cupped his cheek. Smoothed a thumb over Everett’s cheekbone. “I’m only telling you this so you can understand why he’s hurt. It’s not my thing to tell, but I can’t keep it from you, Ev. I think you need to know.”
Everett tensed. “What is it?”
Xavier blew out a breath. “He’s in love with you, Ev.”
“No. That doesn’t even make sense.”
At that comment, Xavier barked out a bitter laugh. “Tell me about it. Look, all I know is that he said he loved you first. He said neither one of us were good enough for you, then he complained that he never rated high enough to get a text at two in the morning, right before the drunken rambling about wanting me out of his life.”
Everett eased himself back down onto Xavier’s chest. He was quiet for so long that Xavier worried Everett was thinking of a way to tell him that he’d secretly been in love with Andrew too, all these years, but was scared it wasn’t reciprocated. That’s how it went down in the movies. Right when the secondary character thinks they’ve landed the dream-boat, the true love swoops in and…
“Asshole.”
Xavier flinched. His brain did its best to catch up and sort everything out, but it was late, or early, depending on how you chose to slice it, and he’d worked too many hours and been through too much shit to draw a proper conclusion as to who Everett was talking about.
“I’m going to kill him.”
A weight lifted off Xavier’s chest. He wasn’t the asshole. Not to Everett. He no longer cared that Andrew thought he was an asshole. Okay, he did care a little, but he couldn’t take it back even if he wanted to, and taking it back was the last thing he wanted to do.
“He’s hurt, Ev.”
“I don’t give a shit. It doesn’t give him the right to be a dick to you. Even if he did confess his undying love for me, he knows I don’t feel that way about him. I never would, he’s not my type. Hell, he’s not even gay. Maybe. Apparently, he’s somewhere on the Kinsey Scale that’s not one hundred percent hetero. And I don’t even care that he hid that. I care that he used his pain as an excuse to hurt you. That’s not acceptable. He’s…he’s better than that.”
Xavier’s heart lightened to hear how upset Everett was on his behalf. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone got angry over someone being terrible to him. “It’s okay, Ev.” Xavier found himself saying. Despite his anger toward Andrew and how much Andrew’s careless, drunken, words had hurt him, he still didn’t want Everett to be angry with Andrew. He wanted them to be friends again one day.
“It’s not.”
He kissed Everett on the top of the head. Everett shifted, tilted his head and looked at Xavier.
“X?”
“Yeah?” Everett shifted again and pressed his hard cock against Xavier’s side. “Oh.” Xavier lifted a hand and stroked his fingers through Everett’s platinum hair. “I wanted to make you desperate for me. I wanted you to come apart the minute I walked in. I wanted you to ache so bad for me that you couldn’t even think.”
Everett wiggled around, draped a leg over Xavier, then hoisted himself up on top of Xavier, straddling him. “I am desperate for you. All of you. And I did come apart the minute you walked in, but not because I thought of you all day while I tortured myself at your request. I came apart because in one second, I saw the agony and exhaustion on your face and in the next, when you looked at me, I saw the relief and the happiness. You take me apart every day, X. The little things you do. When you grab my cuffs, or kiss my bare wrists, or my empty palms. When you look at me it’s like I’m…like I’m the best thing you’ve ever seen.”
Everett leaned down, pressed their chests together, and Xavier wrapped his arms around his lover, his boyfriend, his treasure. They kissed lazily. Slowly. Enjoying the stillness of the world around them. Eventually, Everett slid off Xavier and tucked himself against Xavier’s side again.
“I want you so bad, but I’m exhausted.”
Xavier glanced at the clock. The glowing red numbers told his it had long since passed the time when he should’ve been asleep. “I was supposed to cuddle the fuck out of you, then fuck the cuddle out of you, wasn’t I?” Xavier said through a yawn he couldn’t stifle.
“I’m too tired to be an active participant.”
“I could always tie you up, then it won’t matter.”
Everett laughed into Xavier’s chest. “Go to sleep. You can fuck me cross-eyed later, but first I need at least six hours of sleep.”
Xavier held Everett a little tighter. “Okay, Pet. You win this one.” A few minutes went by and he called Everett’s name softly. “Everett?”
“Mmm?” On the edge of sleep Everett was barely coherent.
“You are the best thing I’ve ever seen.”
Everett snuggled tighter and Xavier drifted off as the first rays of light clawed their way through a crack in Everett’s curtains.
Hours later, a slice of afternoon sunlight lit the room. Xavier woke slowly, blinking himself awake. It took him a moment to remember he was in Everett’s bed. Xavier rolled over. A tuft of platinum hair stuck out from under the duvet. Xavier pushed aside the slight annoyance he felt when he remembered his plans for Everett had been interrupted. Everett went to bed rock hard and Xavier wanted to reward him for everything, he supposed. For offering him a place to stay without hesitation and for being angry on his behalf. For caring enough to want him around.
Xavier slid closer. He pressed his own aching cock against Everett’s peachy little ass. Xavier put his hand on Everett’s hip, then followed the smooth curve until he reached Everett’s cock.
Everett rocked back against Xavier. “Ung.” Everett made an incoherent noise. Then, with a voice thick with sleep and lust, Everett muttered the word Xavier liked to hear from him the most. “Pleeease.” Everett rocked back again, and an almost too-warm hand reached back and found Xavier’s hip. Fingers dug into his flesh as Everett tugged on his hip and rocked into him at the same time. “Please, X. God. Fuck. Please.”
Xavier kissed the back of Everett’s neck.
Everett continued to mumble and thrust himself back against Xavier’s cock. “Please. Take me, X. Please. Need you. Please.”
As he smiled against Everett’s skin, he flattened his hand against Everett’s chest and ran it down toward his stomach. Xavier enjoyed the smoothness of his boyfriend. The lithe framed man with the giant heart and the killer smile, and he belonged to him. Xavier rested his forehead against the back of Everett’s head. “You want me to fuck you, Ev?” Xavier couldn’t resist toying with the beautiful man.
Everett moved away from him, rolled over, and wiggled around until he faced Xavier. He wriggled up against Xavier, pressing their cocks together. An arm draped over Xavier’s side. Everett’s other hand reached up, and he brushed a finger across Xavier’s lower lip.
“Yes.”
Xavier kissed Everett, not caring about their morning breath. That one word meant so many things. Yes, I want you to. Yes, I belong to you. Yes, you’re mine. Yes, I love you. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Xavier could only hope Everett would love him, someday, the way he’d loved Everett for so many years. As Xavier licked his way inside Everett’s mouth, Everett opened for him, gave himself to Xavier and he knew he loved Everett. Not just the idea of him, as he had for so long, but the real, flesh and bones version of Everett. The one who cooked great food and had great presence on camera. The strong Everett who overcame so much in his life. The Everett who was undeniably his own person. The Everett who gave himself to Xavier willingly and completely. They were all a part of the same Everett, the man Xavier rutted up against. He wanted to be inside Everett, not that way…well, not just that way. But in his heart and soul. In his bones. In all the ways Everett was inside of him.
He rolled Everett onto his back and nestled himself between Everett’s legs. One hand held the back of Everett’ neck when Xavier reached for a condom and lube. He rolled the condom down, then coated his cock and watched Everett’s face as he reached down and swirled his fingers around Everett’s hole.
“X, please.” Everett keened. His fingers scraped trails down Xavier’s arms. “I’m desperate.”
Xavier grinned and fisted his cock. He gave it a lazy stroke, from the base to the tip and down again. He couldn’t speak. He’d say too much. Confess all the words inside him that felt too soon, too big, too grand and not grand enough. Xavier bit his lip and pressed the head of his cock against Everett’s entrance. He took a breath, smoothed a hand down Everett’s pale, perfect, chest, and slid deeper.
Xavier gasped. His eyes widened. Everett’s fluttered shut, then he opened them again and didn’t look away. Xavier smothered Everett’s body with his own and clutched the side of Everett’s face with one hand. He slid his other arm underneath Everett, at the small of his back. When his fingers clamped onto Everett’s hip, Xavier almost died right there. He’d meant to make Everett desperate for him yesterday because desperate only scratched the surface of how Everett always made Xavier feel.
Xavier unravelled. Unable to kiss and fuck, he buried his face in the crook of Everett’s neck. He slid his arm under Everett and gripped his shoulder. Legs wrapped around his waist. Fingers dug into his back. Everett clung to him as Xavier fucked him hard and fierce, moaning desperate words into Everett’s skin, hoping Everett would cling to them the way he clung to Xavier. Words like beautiful and amazing and mine. Words Xavier needed Everett to believe. He kept the L-word tucked away for safekeeping. He could love Everett. He could love him in the day and in the night in the brightness and in the dark, but if he said it and Everett didn’t say it back, Xavier felt he might die.
He showed him instead. He fucked Everett with every bit of himself he could give. Which meant fucking him hard and fast until they both gasped for air and dripped with sweat. Xavier opened his mouth and screamed his orgasm silently against the side of Everett’s neck. Everett’s fingers dug in. Scraped down Xavier’s back. Marked him like Xavier had marked Everett in that same moment.
After a long shower and a quick meal, Xavier kissed him lazily. Everett had his arms looped around Xavier’s neck, fingers toyed with his hair.
“I need to go,” Xavier didn’t move. “I’m going to be late.” Xavier leaned in and kissed Everett again. Everett laughed and stepped away, his hands dropping to his sides.
“You’ll never leave if you keep kissing me.” Everett’s smile reached his eyes. Xavier could’ve imagined it, but he swore Everett seemed lighter lately, happier, even with the undercurrent of tension with the Andrew situation.
Xavier stepped toward Everett, but he stepped back. Xavier arched an eyebrow. Everett gave him a crooked smile but stepped forward. He reached for Xavier’s face, as if he intended to brush his fingers over Xavier’s cheek. Xavier grabbed Everett’s cuffed wrist and placed a kiss on his palm.
“I’ll call you on my lunch break.” Xavier stole one last kiss and opened the door.
“Thought I might find you here.” Andrew had the decency to look like absolute shit.
Xavier cast a glance back at Everett. The happiness and mirth had gone from his eyes. There was only sadness and a bit of anger. “I can call Steve.”
Everett shook his head. He stepped closer and kissed Xavier on the mouth. It was soft and quick, but it claimed him, and Xavier wished he’d told Everett he loved him so he could say it right then, too, but he didn’t and he couldn’t. “Call me if you need me.”
“Xavier, wait. I wanted to talk to you.” Andrew reached for him, but he shrugged him off.
“I’m going to be late for work.” Xavier pushed past Andrew and headed for the stairs, leaving Everett to deal with Andrew.