Tinsley

I lay here in bed as the sun begins to come up. A ray of light shines through the window, falling on Damien’s cheek. I watch his chest slowly rise and fall with every breath. He looks so peaceful. A small smile plays on his lips, and I can’t help but wonder what he’s dreaming about. Maybe he’s thinking about our amazing vacation. A few weeks after his night in the woods, we took a trip to Florida for two months. Sami got two weeks at Disney and could not have been happier. She complained about her cheeks hurting from all her smiling. We cleaned out my storage unit, what was left in my condo, and when we left, a “for sale” sign sat in the front yard.

“Why are you staring at me like a creeper?” Damien asks, his voice playful and eyes still closed. How did he know? “I could feel your stare,” he explains, as if he just read my mind. He rolls over on his side so we’re facing each other and inches his lips closer to mine. I can feel his breathe against my lips, then my stomach lurches. I slap my hand over my mouth, almost smacking him in the face in the process. Sweat begins to bead on my forehead as I jump from our bed and rush to the bathroom. I barely make it to the toilet before heaving all the contents of my stomach into it. My hair is pulled back and a cool wet cloth lands on the back of my neck.

“Tin, are you okay?” Damien asks as he rubs my back. I sit on my bottom and lean back against his hard chest. My head is still spinning, so I close my eyes, trying to will it away. For the past week, I have felt under the weather, but I haven’t actually gotten sick. My eyes widen and I turn toward him.

“I need you to do something for me,” I say, the pieces clicking into place.

“Anything, baby. What do you need?” he asks, his voice filled with worry. I grab his arms, a small smile playing on my lips.

“Can you go to the drug store?”

“Yes. What do you need?”

“A pregnancy test,” I say, scanning his face for any reaction. His eyes widen and a huge smile overtakes his features. Jumping from the floor, he runs back into the bedroom, pulling dresser drawers out and pushing them back in. He appears a few minutes later in the doorway balancing on one foot as he tries to put his sneaker on the other.

“I’ll be right back. I love you,” he calls out as he turns and walks out. I’m left on the bathroom floor, laughing. He’s so cute when he’s all flustered. Lifting myself from the floor, I move over to the sink to brush my teeth. When I step out of the bathroom, Sami is all snuggled up on her daddy’s side of the bed.

“Good morning, baby girl,” I say as I get into bed beside her. She cuddles up against me.

“Morning, Mommy. Can we watch Little Mermaid?” she asks in her sweetest voice—the one she knows we can’t ever say no to. She loves to snuggle up in our bed and watch her movies, but it’s become one of my favorite things to do too. I nod and pick up the remote from my night stand. I turn on the television and DVD player, then press play. Closing my eyes, I enjoy this quiet time with her while picturing Damien and Sami laying here with our new baby between us. I see a boy with my dark hair and his daddy’s beautiful blue eyes. Every dream I’ve ever had is finally coming true. I have the family I’ve always wanted. Life couldn’t get any better than this.

I open my eyes when I hear Sami singing Under the Sea along with her movie. Her sweet little off-key voice makes me smile. She knows all the songs by heart and loves every one of them. She looks over at me with a huge smile on her face and an expectant look in her eyes. That’s the “sing along with me” look. I know that look well. As I join in and begin to belt out the lines to the song, I hear a chuckle from the doorway. I look up to see Damien leaning against the door laughing at us. I stick my tongue out at him and continue to sing along with Sami. He walks into the bathroom and I can hear the crinkle of the plastic bag he was holding. Knowing what’s in that bag has my belly flip-flopping. I am so anxious to find out, but I’m content here also. When he comes back out, he climbs into bed on the other side of Sami.

“Feeling better?” Damien asks, looking over Sami to me.

“A little. Thank you.”

“Do you need to use the bathroom yet?” he asks, excitement in his voice. He’s just as anxious as I am to find out if we’re having a baby. I nod my head and smile as I get up from the bed. I make my way to the bathroom and close the door behind me. My heart is racing and my hands are shaking. Pulling the box from the bag, I read over the directions. Pretty simple. Remove the cap. Pee on the stick. Replace the cap. Wait two minutes. After performing each step, I place the test on the counter, then wash my hands. Butterflies invade my stomach as I pace back and forth through the bathroom, waiting for the two minutes to pass. It feels like I’ve been waiting ten years for this moment. The door opens and I turn to see Damien.

“Well?” Damien asks as he closes the door behind him.

“I haven’t looked yet.”

“What are you waiting for?”

“I’m scared,” I admit. Taking my hand, Damien leads me to the garden tub, sits on the edge, and pulls me onto his lap.

“What are you scared of?” he asks. How do I explain this to him when I’m not really sure myself?

“It’s going to sound stupid.”

“No it won’t.” I take a deep breath and let it out.

“I’m scared I am. I’m afraid I’ll be a terrible mother. And I’m afraid I’m not. What if something is wrong with me?” He smiles at me and I want to punch him. “I told you it sounds stupid.”

“It doesn’t sound stupid. Those are legitimate concerns, but you have nothing to worry about. You will be an amazing mom. I know this because I see you with Sami. As far as something being wrong with you, I don’t think that’s the case, but if we can’t have kids, we can always adopt. There are plenty children who need a loving family,” he says, then kisses my nose and holds me close. This is a perfect example of why I love this man so damn much.

“I love you,” I tell him.

“I love you too. Are you ready to look yet?” he asks, and I nod my head. Damien stands and sets me back on the tub. He grabs the test from the counter and brings it over.

“You look and tell me.” Slowly, he looks down at the test, and his expression remains blank. My heart pounds in my chest as the anticipation threatens to choke me. Just as I’m about to scream at him to tell me, he picks me up in his arms and spins me around the room.

“We’re having a baby! We’re having a baby!” he sings through his smile, making me giggle. Sami comes bursting through the door.

“Who’s having a baby?” she asks, and Damien stops spinning me as we both look at each other. I can see in his eyes he wants to tell her, and so do I. I reach down and pick up Sami.

“We are. You’re going to have a little brother or sister,” I tell her, and a wide smile crosses her face.

“I want a brother. When will the baby be here?”

“Not for a long time, sweetie. The baby will grow in Mommy’s belly for about nine months,” Damien explains, and her face falls instantly. That must seem like a lifetime for her.

“We have a lot of stuff to do before the baby comes, and as a big sister, it’s your job to help me out.” Her smile is back just as quickly as it left.

“I’m going to be a big sister?” she asks, her voice filled with amazement.

“Yes, you are,” Damien tells her.

The three of us spend the rest of the day cuddled up in bed watching one Disney movie after another. I can’t believe this perfect life is mine. I do what I love for a living. I have a wonderful family that will be even bigger soon, and I’m married to my soul mate. If this is a dream, I don’t ever want to wake up.