Chapter Seventeen
Chad
I’ve never been inside a courtroom before. It’s not nearly as nice as the rooms I’ve seen on TV. This is a small cinder block room with the judge at a podium up front and a few chairs beside him. There are only six rows of chairs behind the railing, and the room is already filling up.
Sawyer is sitting directly behind me and knowing he’s close helps keep me centered. I just wish AJ were sitting beside him. Taking a quick glance around the room, I see AJ sitting in the back corner. Marge, Tyler, and Josh are beside him, talking quietly. I’m so glad they could make it. I knew they’d be here to support me, but seeing them also support AJ makes me feel better about him having to keep his distance.
When the judge walks in, I follow Jonathan’s lead. Standing and sitting when he does. He assured me that I won’t have to say much. But if the judge does want me to clarify anything, I could have to spend a lot of time answering questions to the judge and the rest of the room.
I’m not completely following the conversations until Jonathan stands and motions for me to follow him to the center aisle. Mr. and Mrs. Collins are standing on the other side of their attorney. All I can say about that guy is that he looks expensive. Jonathan’s a great-looking guy in a nice suit. But this other guys suit looks tailor-made from the thread of baby silk worms.
After we’re all sworn in as a group, Jonathan explains my current role as temporary guardian and my petition for permanent guardianship with the intent to adopt the children. The Collinses’ attorney does the same for them, emphasizing that they are the maternal grandparents, and as retired business owners, they have time and resources to devote to their precious grandchildren.
“Mr. Ludwig, I understand you work as a fire lieutenant. Is your schedule such that you can take care of an infant and a toddler on a long-term basis?”
I clear my throat and glance at Jonathan before addressing the judge. “Yes, sir. I took classes to get certified as an instructor when I was recovering from an injury almost two years ago. I’ve spoken to my chief, and I can do that on a full-time basis now so I don’t have to go out on calls anymore. That has a nine-to-five schedule.”
The judge merely nods and shuffles through some papers. Turning to the Collinses’ attorney, the judge waves a piece of paper. “According to the transcript of the video left by the deceased biological mother, she requested that Mr. Ludwig be named guardian, and she specifically requested that her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Collins, not be granted custody. I also have the recommendation from the social worker and a stack of character witnesses on behalf of Mr. Ludwig. We’ll take a fifteen-minute recess, and I’ll return with my decision.”
And just like that, the judge disappears. I look dumbly at Jonathan. “That’s it?”
He smiles. “That’s it. Now we wait, but based on what he just said, I think you’re looking pretty good.”
I’m almost disappointed. I’d built it up so much in my head, I really expected a lot more to happen. “That was so…anti-climactic.”
Jonathan laughs. “That’s a good thing in a court room. If you’re the good guy, you can to get in and get out as fast as possible.”
We take our seats and wait for the longest fifteen minutes of my life. AJ and Sawyer start a group text telling me I did a great job, but I don’t want to celebrate yet. Mrs. Collins is speaking harshly in her attorney’s ear, and it’s obvious she’s not pleased with how things are going. I’m sure she thought she’d be automatically granted custody based on her blood connection. But fortunately, family courts don’t always side with blood. They side with doing the right thing for the children, and I pray that means I’ll be leaving here with permanent custody.
After getting kissy face emojis from both of my guys, I shove my phone in my pocket and stand as the judge returns. The judge spouts off some official sounding terminology, but all I hear is, “…this court grants permanent legal custody of Harper Elaine Collins and Austin James Collins to Chad Ludwig. Court is adjourned.”
I pull in a deep breath and look at Jonathan to make sure I’ve heard him correctly. He smiles and shakes my hand. “Congratulations, Chad. It’s a boy and a girl.”
“But, wait…” Mrs. Collins is waving her hand toward the judge. “We didn’t get to speak.”
Her attorney leans into her ear, obviously trying to calm her down.
“I will not be quiet. Those are my grandchildren, and I’m not leaving without them.”
The attorney motions to Mr. Collins, indicating that he needs to get his wife under control. “I’m sorry, your honor. We’ll be on our way.”
“We are not going anywhere. I didn’t get to explain my situation!”
The judge bangs his gavel hard, getting everyone’s attention in the room. “Mrs. Collins, if you don’t settle down and leave peacefully, I’ll have a bailiff escort you out.”
Her jaw drops when she realizes it’s over and there’s nothing more for her to do. Then she levels her icy gaze at me. “This isn’t over, Mr. Ludwig.”
Yanking her arm free from her husband, she storms out of the courtroom and a collective sigh falls across the room. I feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted from my shoulders. I want nothing more than to hold Chad and Sawyer without the fear of being seen and then go pick up the kids. Kim works at Tyler and Marge’s bookstore and offered to watch them while we were in court. She’s known Harper for longer than I have and loves cuddling with Austin, so I was grateful for her offer. Everyone else I trust them with was with us in the courtroom.
Jonathan stands beside me as my friends all pass by on their way out, hugging me and offering congratulations on the outcome of the case. Sawyer and AJ are talking at the back of the room and wait for everyone else to clear out before heading toward me.
“Congratulations again, Chad. I’m gonna head out, but call me if you need anything else, or if you hear from either of the Collinses again.”
I reach out to Jonathan and pull him into a bear hug. “Thanks, man. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
He pats my back then slips away just as AJ and Sawyer reach my side.
“Got room for two more?” AJ pulls me against his strong shoulder and kisses my neck. “You did great, babe.”
My arm naturally reaches for Sawyer, and he joins our embrace, whispering his own words of encouragement in my ear.
“You guys ready to go get our kids?” I pull back and look at each of them with a huge grin on my face.
AJ sneaks a quick peck on my lips then does the same to Sawyer before pulling away and leading us out of the courthouse. “I like the sound of that.”
I do too.
~**~
Sawyer cleared his schedule for the rest of the day and took tomorrow off so we could be together. Whether things went my way or not, he knew I’d want him around as much as possible. I wish he would have taken the whole week off, but I’m glad to have him home with us while we get the kids settled into their usual bedtime routine.
The tension between Sawyer, AJ, and me is high. Like nerves on fire kind of high. We all know what today’s decision means for the three of us, and the anticipation of really exploring this relationship at all levels is intense.
“I’ll make Austin’s bottle.” Sawyer rushes to the kitchen to prepare the small bottle of formula while AJ gets the baby changed and fed.
“I’ll get started on Harper’s books. You guys can join us whenever you’re ready.”
For the past few nights, AJ and Sawyer have joined Harper and me in reading her bedtime stories. Last night, we each read one before kissing her goodnight and saying goodbye to each other. At the time, we knew we only had to wait another twenty-four hours to have some real alone time together. But now, we’re just minutes away from privacy and can’t finish these books fast enough.
Fortunately, she’s exhausted from the excitement of playing with Kim this afternoon, so she passes out halfway through the second book. We all cast knowing glances at each other as we sneak out of her room and close the door behind us. The bassinet that’s usually in my room will stay in the hallway tonight. We’ll be close enough to hear Austin if he wakes up, but we won’t have to be quiet while we finally get to have some adult playtime.
“Um, does anyone want a drink? I’ve got beer and the champagne Marge gave us as we left the courthouse.”
Sawyer gives me a nervous smile. “I think tonight calls for some champagne.”
Thank god he’s up for it because I’m most concerned about how Sawyer is feeling about tonight. He’s assured us on several occasions that he’s anxious to explore his sexuality with us, and we believe him. But I remember how nervous I was my first time and that was with another inexperienced kid in tenth grade. I can’t even imagine losing my virginity to not one but two very experienced adults. He’s gonna need a few glasses.
As soon as the glasses are poured, we all raise them up. “To the beginning of our new family!” AJ’s eyes sparkle with love as he clinks each of our glasses. “The one I actually want to be a part of.”
“I’ll drink to that.” I throw back the full glass, emptying it in three gulps.
Sawyer also empties his glass but at a much slower rate, nursing it as if he’s stalling for time. As soon as he’s done, I grab the bottle and refill our glasses, topping off AJ’s at the same time. When Sawyer does the same slow gulping of his champagne, I know he needs some reassurance.
“Let’s go sit down for a minute.” I grab his hand and lead him to the sofa. Dropping onto the center cushion, I pull Sawyer onto my lap so he’s sitting sideways against my chest. AJ slides in right beside me, close enough that I can feel his warmth from my shoulder down to my ankle.
“Sawyer, baby, tell me why you’re nervous.” I rub small circles against his lower back while AJ slides his hand up and down Sawyer’s calves that he’s pulled up across his lap.
“I think I’m just excited.” His voices squeaks so I know that’s not the whole truth.
“I’m excited too. I’m excited to finally hold you and kiss you and tell the world that I care about two of the sweetest, kindest men I’ve ever known. And I’m excited to finally be able to touch you without you getting into trouble.”
A strong shiver shakes Sawyer’s whole body, and I pull him closer against my chest, trying to wrap him up in my heat.
“But just because we can get more physical now, doesn’t mean we have to. If you still need some time to work up to this, there’s no rush. AJ and I aren’t going anywhere.” I turn to AJ and see him duck to catch Sawyer’s eye as he nods his agreement. “You’re in charge here. We can go at your pace, no matter how slow you need to go.”
Sawyer looks at me with a worried expression. “No, please. I don’t want to wait anymore. I really want to feel you guys and try…everything. I’m just afraid I won’t be good at it. What if you hate it or I do something wrong?”
His body shakes again, so I reach behind the sofa for a throw blanket and wrap it around Sawyer’s back and chest. I rub my nose down the shell of his ear then lick his earlobe, causing another, different kind of tremor to roll through his body. “I promise we won’t hate anything you do. You’re giving us a gift that you haven’t given to anyone else. We’ll be there to make sure everything feels good for you, and we’ll tell you what we like too. Whether we go all the way tonight or in a month, it’ll be about pleasing each other and showing our love, not about doing stuff you see on the internet or just trying to get off.”
Sawyer’s breath catches, and his eyes lock on mine. “Our love?”
I squeeze his side as I wrap my hand around AJ’s neck and pull him closer to my mouth. My breath bounces off both men as I verbalize the feelings I’ve had for weeks now. “Yes, baby. I love you both. Even though we haven’t known each other for very long, it was easy to realize you both fill my heart in a way that I’ve never felt before. For me, when we have sex for the first time, I’ll be making love to you. Slowly. Carefully. And with an ending so happy, you will hopefully feel the same way about me by the time we’re done.”
AJ presses his mouth to the corner of mine and holds it there for a long moment. “I already do, Chad. I’ve known since the moment I decided not to go back home. You’re my home. I want to be right here with you for as long as you’ll let me.” He runs his tongue along my lips, sneaking in a quick kiss before moving to Sawyer’s mouth. “And you, sir, have been torturing me with those sweet eyes and pink cheeks since we first met. I’ve fallen so fucking hard for you that even if you decide you don’t ever want to have sex, I’ll still never want to let you go. I love you, Sawyer. Please let us show you how we can love you.”
Tears stream down Sawyer’s cheeks as AJ kisses him deeply, slowly moving their tongues and lips together in a choreographed ballet of passion. As soon as AJ releases his mouth, he kisses the tears on one side of Sawyer’s face while I capture those on the other side.
Sawyer takes in a shuddering breath and looks between us. “Can you show me now?”