Chapter Twenty Three
Ramsay
The group had accepted Bean and Ollie with open arms. I think the men enjoyed Ollie’s easy-going demeanor and the women appreciated his charm. They all treated Bean gently. Never getting too close or too loud in her presence. It was like they had accepted her tics and were working around them.
Cress and Brian had opened their gifts as soon as the bearers arrived. That way the food was eaten promptly. These guys were always hungry and well, so was I.
The men had retired to Forde’s man cave that was now filled with Lucy and Eric’s toys. We were sitting at the table lingering over drinks. Well none of were drinking, Zoe was the only one who could and she declined in empathy.
“So are you going to tell us his name?” Zoe pressed.
“At least we announced the sex.” Cress shot Layla a look, “Not like some people.”
“Hey, I like to keep you all in suspense. I’m evil like that.” The hostess smiled sweetly.
“Brian isn’t on board with the name I like so I’m going to have to do some more convincing.” Cress giggled.
“That’s the most fun part,” Zoe added knowingly.
Billie had been withdrawn most of the night. I seemed to be the only one who noticed. Nobody else was giving her concerned looks when she wasn’t looking.
“So I guess we are starting construction first.” Zoe announced. Their daughter would be eligible for kindergarten next fall.
“I wonder if Rick will want to fast-track things?” Layla looked at us all. “I don’t think that Nahla will be going back soon.”
“Osi said that she’s going to day care while he works.” I was curious to learn more.
Cress smiled, “She is so sweet and she can already read. I was working with her yesterday and she read an entire book to me.”
“It will be an adjustment for him, having her all of the time.” Layla observed.
“I can help. I like kids.” Bean announced to all of us.
“That is nice of you,” I had never heard my sister say anything about kids before.
“We aren’t having any because of my injury but I like them, You know to be around them.” Bean gave us a smile that made her face light up.
God, I loved my sister.
“You used to carry me around with you all of the time.” I recalled. The memory hit me so strongly.
“I thought you were my real life doll.” She told us.
“I feel for Nahla’s mother. I guess some people get addicted like that.” Zoe snapped her fingers. “She had knee surgery and pow a not even a year later, she’d lost almost everything.”
I didn’t know that part. “That is heart-breaking.”
“She lost her job, her condo and they were living in her car when someone called the police about Nahla walking down the sidewalk alone at night.” Layla frowned and shook her head.
“We’ll help them,” Cress said. “I mean, I know that Brian and I will.”
We all nodded.
“That’s if we all stick around,” Billie’s voice was cold and she was looking right at me.
I swallowed hard and then spoke, “I’m home for good.” I met her glare.
She flashed an ugly smile. “Of course.”
“You, you don’t believe me.” Her doubts were sinking in and made me feel so bad that I thought I might throw up.
“Why should I?” Billie ran her fingers through her bangs, combing them off of her face. “I mean, you all,” she looked at the other ladies, “can overlook everything and I get it. She’s pregnant and nobody wants to be mean to a mother but…but I’m done.” Her voice cracked on the last word.
“Billie,” Layla spoke up, “you two have a lot of history.”
My best friend, maybe now former best friend shook her head. “Well apparently that means nothing. I’m not good enough to confide in. I’m not good enough to talk to. So I guess I’m not really good enough to be a friend.”
I screeched, “What? No!” I took in a deep breath. “No,” I cried. “Billie?”
“Look, there comes a time when actions speak louder than words and we are there.” Billie had recovered.
“I wanted to.” I told her.
She did a quick eye roll. “Don’t.”
“I swear,” I told her, pleading.
“Stop,” she yelled. “Just stop.” She lowered her voice.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bean slide out of her chair. She didn’t like anger or heated talks so I didn’t give it a second thought. “I am sorry.” I spit each word. I was scared and mad at myself for not putting a stop to this years ago.
“I’m sure that you are,” Billie was glaring at me again, “but this time, it isn’t enough.”
Zoe put her hand on Zoe’s arm. “Ladies, why don’t you both take a minute and cool off. Neither one of you want to say something that you’ll regret.”
Billie didn’t jerk away from Zoe’s touch but she moved. “I don’t need words. I’ve seen enough inaction to know the truth.”
“Billie,” I raised my voice. “I’m sorry.”
“I told you enough,” she pushed her chair back and yelled.
“What the fuck is going on?” Osi had is arm around my shoulders and was glaring at Billie.
“Don’t you use that tone with her.” Tye was behind Billie’s chair. “Giving Osi a warning look.”
The other men rushed in. To say the scene was tense was an understatement.
Billie broke the silence, “I told her to stop with the apologies, she’s not listening to me. She has to have the last Goddamn word.”
Osi leaned over the table, “I won’t have you talking to my woman like that.”
“Back the fuck off.” Tye was leaning over the other side of the table in Osi’s face.
“Let her talk.” I said softly but it sounded really loud in the tense silence.
“What did you say?” Osi turned to look at me.
“Billie has something to say, I want to hear it.” I schooled my features into a mask, I was preparing for the onslaught.
Osi backed up slowly and I swear, Tye mirrored his moves. He rested his hand on my shoulder.
Billie glanced up at Tye and he gave her a one shouldered shrug. “Okay,” She scooted her chair back to the table. “You’ve done a lot of damage. I don’t know if you can even understand what it’s been like for me and the rest of us. We care about you. I care about you. I have since the day we met. I was so nervous and overwhelmed by everything at school. Then I met you.” She let out a sigh and grinned. “She was so popular. I mean everybody knew Ramsay Kent. I couldn’t believe that she wanted to be my friend.”
“That’s crazy,” I told her. “You were so smart, and cute. I mean, you made everybody smile.” She was adorable, that was the perfect adjective.
“I knew something was wrong when you went to Phoenix. I mean, you were excited about going to grad school. I kept asking you what was going on but would only say nothing. I got tired of being shut out.”
Jesus, with her mother being such a bitch, my cutting her out had to have hurt.
“After everything happened…the attack.” He voice waivered just a little. “I wanted your help but honestly, I was surprised that you showed up.”
“Honey…” I started to reach across the table but she didn’t seem willing to meet my hand.
“But you did and I am truly forever grateful for that. You probably saved my life.”
I felt the tears come, “You did that.” I cleared my throat. “I wanted to tell you. So many times, I wanted to tell but I didn’t want to burden you with my mess.”
“Jesus Ramsay, that’s what life is all about.” She looked at me like she was pleading with me to understand. “It’s filled with good times and terrible ones where if we are lucky, we can share that burden with our friends. It’s messy and …and it can hurt. It can suck. But we are here-together. We’re family. That means that we are stronger and better together. We lean on each other.” She nodded. Tye brushed his fingers through the side of her hair, lovingly. “We can ask for help and when needed we give it. That’s how we get through…we do it together.” She let out a silent sob and bit her bottom lip.
“I was so wrong.” I was looking at Billie but I was admitting it to them all. “I got married to please my parents and I knew it was a mistake. I should have left but...”
“It’s hard,” Cress told us all. “You can’t believe that you are in a situation and by the time you realize that it’s all really happening, you are so beaten down that you are afraid to leave.”
“Yes,” I nodded quickly and shot her a grateful look. “When I got away, I think that I connected the need to leave with feeling too much,” I looked up at Osi and he gave me a small nod of understanding. “When I found out that I had miscarried I ached. I guess that I don’t ever want to feel that much pain ever again.” I said quietly.
“I would have helped you,” Billie told me.
I nodded in agreement.
She continued. “I would have gotten you to talk to somebody so that you’d understand it wasn’t your fault.”
“I know,” I muttered.
“I would have understood.”
“I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.” I cried. I didn’t care if my mascara was running down my face.
“Ramsay, it was a terrible string of events, but none of it was because you wanted it to be that way. You got caught up in it.”
“I don’t want you to hate me.”
“I can’t hate you.” She was crying now, also.
“I want to be a good person.” I told her, and Osi.
“Ramses, you are.” Osi knelt down beside me and hugged me.
“Only one person can decide that,” Billie said seriously.
“Who? God?” I asked.
She smiled at me, “Forde, of course.” Then she giggled.
Just like that my best friend made everything good again. Everybody laughed and started talking at once.
Billie got to her feet and walked around the table to my other side.
I opened my arms and she hugged me. I cried as she hugged me. “Please, please don’t hate me.”
“I don’t.”
“I need you. Please Billie, I need you.” I told her.
“I’m going to be right beside you.” She kissed my cheek.
Later when we were leaving, Layla was showing me some of the maternity wear she had purchased from a boutique she’d found. “I have to say, Billie is the shit.”
I chuckled, I wasn’t disagreeing.
“If Osi ever looked at me like that, I would have probably pee’d my pants, and had a heart attack at the same time.” Layla told me in all seriousness. “She didn’t blink.”
“Osi wouldn’t hurt her.” I defended my man.
“No, of course not.” Layla rushed to tell me. “I mean, she doesn’t back down.”
I asked quietly, “How bad are things?”
I could see her trying to decide how much to tell.
“They told me about the medication and about the pregnancy plans being put on hold.” I assured Layla.
“She’s upset.” Layla sat down beside me on the end of their bed. “If Tye has confided in Forde, he isn’t sharing it with me.” She frowned. “I’m worried that with all of us pregnant…that she feels left out. Like she’s not giving Tye everything that they want.” She sighed loudly. “Does that make any sense.”
“Whenever they show up, the kids are all over them.” This was breaking my heart.
“They have options,” Layla said.
“And time.” I tried to look on the positive side.
“I’m trying to take my cues from her but I’m wondering if we or maybe you should talk to Tye?” Layla looked at me with her big Coke bottle green eyes.
“I’ll do that.” I told her.
“Good,” she gave me a huge smile. “And for the record, I’m very happy for you.” She looked down at my belly which was bigger than hers. “For you all.”
I took her hand and squeezed it. “Tell me that again after the wedding.”
“Ollie seems to be having the time of his life. I mean, I don’t know him very well but I don’t think you can fake that enthusiasm.”
“Ollie is an amazing man.”
“That’s why he fits in. Bean is so sweet. She taught Lucy how to fold paper for an airplane.” Layla’s voice got warmer as she recounted. “She is going to be great with your kids.”
I shook my head, “Osi wants enough so that their first initial spells out Osiris.” I watched her do the math. “So we have Isaiah, and these two.”
Layla chuckled, “So three more after this?”
“I’m starting to hope for a set of triplets.” I bugged out my eyes.
“Poor you, you aren’t going to be fitting into your size fours for years.”
“You know, I don’t even care.” I told her in total honesty.
“Well don’t tell Forde, I don’t want him to become competitive.” Layla linked her hands over her bump and sighed contentedly.