Chapter One
Flora
Five years later
I had to be a fool for loving a man who didn’t love me back, who didn’t even know I existed, at least not in the way that counted. Johnny was still on my mind countless hours during the day, to the point I felt like maybe there was something seriously wrong with me for thinking about him so much.
He was like his own mountain, big and strong, powerful and beautiful. I felt butterflies in my belly when I saw him, when I thought of him. Hell, I felt a lot of things slam into me. The arousal he conjured up in me was like nothing I’d ever experienced before, and it wasn’t just because I was a virgin and had virtually no sexual experience.
If Johnny Ash knew exactly how I felt for him, he’d probably never want to look at me again, and would probably think I was a silly little girl who needed to grow up. But I wasn’t a little girl. I’d loved Big Johnny Ash since I knew what that even meant, since I looked at him and felt my heart plummet to my belly. He was older than me, bigger, stronger. He was a lumberjack through and through, and nothing could have prepared me for what I wanted with him.
A life.
To be his wife.
To have his children.
Or maybe I was a fool. A man like Johnny wouldn’t ever notice a girl like me. I knew I was homely, maybe too young for him, and way off his radar. But that didn’t stop me from loving him.
I loved him with a passion that left me breathless, and imagining what my world could be like if I had him in it.
I sighed and stared at the mountain of paperwork in front of me. This was my last year as an accounting intern. And I was ready to actually get paid for the shit job I was doing. After graduating with my accounting degree last year, I’d taken an internship back in Rockbridge. I always knew I’d move back home, always saw myself staying in my little mountain town because that’s where I felt most comfortable.
And for the last year I’d stayed away from Johnny, as much as you can stay away from a person in a small town. Did he even remember me? I was sure he did, but back then, when our families got together, I was a teenager who didn’t even know what I wanted in life. Hell, back then I was a scrawny girl. Now I had curves, and was filled out in all the places that counted. I had a degree, was finishing up my internship, and was making something with my life, with my career. And I just wanted Johnny to see me as such.
I quickly finished logging everything in, signed off the computer, and stared out the window. I was currently in Mia’s office, finishing up some last-minute details for a client, but my mind was on other things...a certain person, to be exact. I exhaled and leaned back in the chair, the leather making a soft hissing noise. I looked up, the popcorn ceiling almost mesmerizing if I stared at it long enough. God, I was pathetic, I really was. Here I was pining after a man who didn’t even know I was in love with him, all because I was too much of a wimp to come clean.
I pushed all of that out of my head and stood. I’d grab some food from Rickie’s and head home, enjoy a nice, quiet evening, watch a chick flick, and drown my sorrows in Ben & Jerry’s. I snorted at that. I didn’t have to be sad to eat ice cream. Hell, I didn’t get my curves from working out. I couldn’t help but grin at the thought.
After I locked up and walked across the street to the diner, I could see Rickie through the glass of the front window. She was closing down.
“Shit.” I hustled my ass while looking at my phone. I’d been at work longer than I thought. I really didn’t want to have to fend for myself at home, and besides, Rickie made the best French dip sandwiches with au jus and French onion soup. I pulled open the front door and said a silent prayer that it wasn’t locked. Rickie didn’t look up as she bussed the counter, but she did make a sound in the back of her throat.
“We close in like five minutes.”
“So that means you won’t kick me out?” I said with a grin. She glanced up and snorted.
“You just have to be that person who comes in at the last minute, don’t you?”
I shrugged. “I can’t help it. You make the best soup and sandwiches in Colorado.”
She snorted again. “Go on. I do like my ego inflated.”
I laughed and leaned against the counter.
“All right, what do you want?”
I looked over her shoulder at Sean, the cook. He was glowering at me, but then he smiled and gave me a wink. Living in a small town had its drawbacks: the gossip, and everyone knowing about everything you did. But there were also positive sides of small-town life. I’d known these people since I was a child. They were like family. I’d grown close to them, became more than just friends.
I placed my order and went over to sit down as I waited for it to get ready. I pulled out my phone and started scrolling through social media. Since interning, I hadn’t had much time for extracurricular things, even simple things like getting on Facebook.
As I scrolled through my feed I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I lifted my head, glancing around. At first I didn’t see anyone, but then my gaze locked on his. Johnny. Sitting in a booth in the corner.
Shadows partially covered him from when Rickie must have turned off the lights, preparing to close the diner. He was fully leaned back against the chair, one denim-clad leg kicked out, the other bent, his foot tapping almost nervously. His work boots were scuffed, as were his jeans.
I lifted my gaze up his tree-trunk-sized legs and stopped at his chest. He wore a dark button-down shirt, one that was well worn and faded from the sun. It was clear he’d been working all day. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t turn me on.
I felt my body heat, my pussy becoming wetter, my nipples hardening. I felt my breathing increase, and prayed he couldn’t see the effect he was having on me. I shifted on the seat, pressed my legs together, and tried to control the arousal pumping through my veins. I could picture myself with him in the filthiest ways, ways I’d only ever read about or seen in movies. They were things I wanted Johnny to do with me...to me.
“Your order is up, Johnny.”
My focus snapped to attention, back to reality when Rickie hollered out to him. He stayed seated for long seconds, his focus on me. And then he stood, his huge body unfolding to its full height. I actually felt myself gasp. It wasn’t like I didn’t know what he looked like, or how big he was; it was just that in this moment something claimed me. I couldn’t describe it, didn’t even know where to begin.
He watched me the entire way up to the front counter. Once his back was to me, I exhaled roughly and leaned back against my chair. My heart was thundering, running a mile a minute, threatening to break free through my ribs. I stared at his broad shoulders, the muscles bunching under the material of his shirt. I lowered my gaze to his ass. I’d never been obsessed about that part of the body on a guy, but when it came to Johnny, all bets were off.
His pants were slightly loose, but it didn’t hide much. Thank God for that. I knew my panties would be soaked by the time this was all said and done. I felt my face heat at the thought.
“Your order is ready, Flora,” Rickie hollered out.
My hands were shaking as I braced them on the table and stood. My legs felt like pudding as I walked up to the counter. Johnny still had his back to me, and as I stood just a foot from him, my head barely reaching the center of his back, all I could do was remind myself to breathe. And then all that did was make me inhale the masculine, woodsy scent of him. There were undertones of citrus, and I had to force myself not to moan.
He grabbed his bag and turned so we were now facing each other. Everything in me stilled as I came face-to-face with him. I swear nothing else mattered. It felt like it was just him and me standing there, that Rickie and Sean were gone, that I could do anything I wanted in this moment and nobody else would know.
The truth was I wanted everybody to know that I was Johnny’s and he was mine. I loved him.
“How are you doing, Flora?” His voice was deep, so deep it caused goose bumps to form on my flesh. “It’s been a long time.”
My heart stopped. I couldn’t even talk, couldn’t have formed a coherent word if I’d wanted to. My throat tightened up, my mouth went dry. I swallowed and licked my lips, forcing myself to nod. “It has been a long time.” My voice sounded strained.
The silence stretched on for another moment.
“We should get together and catch up.”
I let out a slow, long breath. I was so wet, my nipples so hard. Could he see them pushing through the material of my shirt? On instinct I lifted my arms and crossed them over my chest. I noticed his gaze lowering, saw him register what I’d just done. I felt my face heat even more, and knew it was probably as red as a tomato.
And then the moment was over, almost like it hadn’t even happened. I think I said something, mumbled how I’d like that, or we should definitely get together. I couldn’t be sure, didn’t even remember anything aside from staring into his eyes. He smiled slowly, and my heart lurched harder behind my ribs at the sight.
He gave me a nod and walked past me, his arm lightly brushing against mine. I was drunk off the scent of him, the feel of him. I glanced over my shoulder and watched as he left the diner. A slight breeze came in when he opened the door, teasing my hair.
How in the hell did I think I could ever be honest with him about how I felt? It was hard enough just standing a foot from him. I was losing my mind.
Then again, losing it because of Johnny Ash wouldn’t be so bad.