Layla
I woke up the next morning to something heavy draped across my stomach and warm air being blown against my neck. I cracked open my eyes and waited for them to adjust before glancing around. As I looked around the room that wasn’t mine, I remembered what had happened yesterday. I looked down at the arm across my bare stomach and followed it up to Ashton’s sleeping face. The covers were bunched around his waist, leaving both of our tops bare. Ashton was laying on his front with his heavy arm out, keeping me held down and pressed against him.
Looking at him while he slept, I couldn’t help the smile that formed across my face. He looked so peaceful and almost innocent, and that seemed to make him cuter in my eyes. His face was always like a brick wall, and his jaw always clenched, but when he slept, it relaxed and smoothed out. I reached out my one arm that wasn’t trapped to my side and moved a stray hair that had fallen across his forehead. I thought about last night and felt my body warm at the thought.
Last night was just…great. Ashton made me feel so safe and loved while at the same time like an animal. It had been a while for me, and Ashton made sure to be gentle with me at first. The last thing I remembered about last night was coming down from my high and feeling Ashton kiss me softly on the lips before falling asleep. Probably not the nicest thing falling asleep on him, but being wrapped in his arms I felt myself drifting off. It was the best night sleep I have gotten in a long while.
As gently as I could, I moved his heavy arm off of my stomach and sat up placing it where I just was. I looked around and spotted his button up shirt I had thrown on the floor last night. Quickly getting up not to bother Ashton, I grabbed his shirt and buttoned it up. Missing being near him, I got back in bed. I reached a hand out and traced my fingers in some random design across his muscular back, which was still a little red from when I had run my nails down it. I couldn’t help but blush at my actions. I looked around the room, taking in everything with almost different eyes. The question of how many girls he has had in this room nagged at my mind, but I pushed it back for the moment. Later, when Ashton got up, he was going to be bombarded with questions, and he better have some good answers. Last night was great and all, but we had a lot to work out before I could even think of trusting him, especially with my heart.
Looking down at his back, I noticed a little below his shoulder blade was a small scar that looked like it was made by glass or something. I ran my finger over it, wondering what happened there. I thought about my own scar. Ashton’s reaction last night surprised me. I thought he would look at it in disgust, but instead, he ended up running his finger against it and kissed it. He had looked up at me briefly, sending me a look that said I would be explaining later before his mouth traveled lower. Then, of course, I lost my entire train of thought the rest of the night.
I was busy in my own thoughts, my finger still running over his little scar, when a deep voice filled with sleep spoke to the side of me.
“Nick did that,” Ashton said. I looked down and saw he had his head turned to face me on the pillow, his blue eyes staring up at me.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” I said, almost whispering.
“That’s okay. I liked you running your fingers on my back.” He shot me a grin and a little wiggle of his eyebrows. I laughed and shook my head at him.
“So, Nick did this?” I asked, bringing the subject of his scar.
“Yeah, we were seventeen at the time, and were play-wrestling in my living room” He brought his hands up and put them under his head while I traced the edge with my finger tip. I saw him shiver slightly before going on with his story. I felt a little giddy inside knowing I could make him shiver by my touch. “I had pinned him down more times than he did me and it was making him mad. It was my fault because I told him to take his best shot at me, feeling cocky. He suddenly came at me while I was distracted, hitting my straight in my stomach and the next thing I knew, I was falling on my mother’s glass coffee table. When I landed on it, one of the glass shards embedded itself in my shoulder. I didn’t notice it because I was so busy thinking of all the ways my mother was going to kill me. Anyways, I had to go to the hospital and get stitches even though it still scarred.”
“I bet your mom was pissed,” I said, smiling at his story.
“Let’s just say I ended up getting grounded. Yes, at seventeen I was grounded, and Nick and I were told to never wrestle in the house again,” Ashton said, laughing.
“Nick must have felt terrible.”
“He did. The entire way to the hospital, he said sorry to me at least fifty times before I told him to shut up. I, of course, forgave him because it was basically my own fault I did tell him to do his best.”
“Sounds like you and Nick got in a lot of trouble together.”
“Tons. We were wild teenagers.” He grinned at the thought. “So, does my scar make me hotter?” he asked with a smirk and a wiggle of his eyebrows.
“Oh yeah, it’s very sexy,” I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes. When I rolled my eyes, I caught sight of the alarm clock on the bedside table and gasped. 9:45.
“Ashton, we have work!” I yelled and jumped up off the bed. I ran around the room gathering my clothes in my arms while Ashton turned and sat up in bed. Seeing him in bed shirtless and only a sheet covering him made my body warm, but I ignored him and whipped my head around trying to find my shoes.
“Layla. Layla!” Ashton yelled. I looked at him but still kept glancing from the corner of my eyes for the rest of my clothes. “I already called in. We aren’t going to work today.”
“You did?”
“Yes, I got up earlier and called Judy saying neither of us would be coming in.” I dropped everything in my arms and my eyes widened at the mention of Judy, remembering the real reason I came here yesterday. The file!
“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” I chanted and reached up to grab my hair. I touched it then pulled my hand away, feeling all the knots that were in it. Of course, I look like shit and Ashton looks like he came off of the runway.
“What’s wrong?” Ashton asked, grabbing a sheet and wrapping it around himself before coming toward me.
“I had a file I needed you to sign yesterday, and it had to be in to human resources before five last night.” I groaned.
“Layla, it’s okay. I’m the head of the company. Remember, it can be late,” he said, reaching for my chin and bringing up so my eyes met his. “Plus, there is no way I’m letting you out of my sights today, especially if you’re dressed like that.” He let go of my chin, and I looked down at his shirt barely covering me. It was to maybe mid-thigh and a few buttons were undone. As I looked down at myself, I remembered seeing Natasha just like this only two days ago. With that thought in mind, I had to reluctantly move away from Ashton. Before anything else could happen between us, I needed to know Ashton wasn’t going to run off to Natasha again, that he wouldn’t just sleep with me then push me away again, and that he was actually serious about me. I couldn’t get my heart broken because of him again.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking down at my face. Keeping my gaze away from his nicely toned abs, I took a deep breath knowing I was about to ruin our little peace bubble.
“We need to talk…you know, before things go any further,” I said, and as soon as the words left my lips, I thought this sounded like Ross and Rachel from Friends when they get back together the first time.
“Okay, I agree,” Ashton said, surprising me. I stared at him, surprised. I was waiting for him to get mad or say I was crazy for wanting to talk.
“Wait, did you just say you agree with me?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“Yes, I did. Is that surprising?” he asked, smiling softly down at me, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. I nodded, still surprised he didn’t put up a road block for me. “Layla, I want to show you how serious I am about this, about our relationship. I will do anything to get you to forgive me and let me be with you.” I held back a swoon and instead smiled at him.
“Good. Now let me go shower because I feel all gross. And I can’t be a good sight to see,” I said, pulling away from him.
“You are beautiful either way.” Ashton kissed the top of my head and backed away. “Go shower…unless you need some help,” he suggested, smirking at me.
“Nope, I think I can do it all by myself,” I said, putting extra emphasis on the word “all.” With a smirk at the way his blue eyes darkened, I turned to go to the bathroom. A slap on my ass made me yelp and jump, turning to him. He just smirked wider and turned away from me. Shaking my head, I headed to shower.
It took me forever to get the shower started because of all the different knobs it had. There were two knobs for the temperature then a handle bar-like thing; I had no idea what it did. I just tilted it up and the water finally started. When the shower finally warmed up, I stripped and stepped under the water. The shower head wasn’t like mine at home; it was almost like a waterfall. It fell down on my shoulders softly, and I almost moaned. I could stay in here forever.
I washed my hair and body thoroughly, using Ashton’s shampoo since he had nothing else. I stood there smelling my arm after using his body wash, and man, did it smell good. Plus, I didn’t mind smelling like Ashton. The water started turning cold, so I forced myself to finally get out. Wrapping a towel around me, I wiped away the fog that collected on the mirror and looked at myself.
My brown hair stuck to my face and lay limp and wet down to the middle of my back. My cheeks are a slight pink from the water, but my face seemed to glow. Staring back at me were my gray eyes, and instead of looking dull and almost lifeless, they looked brighter and seemed to shine. If being with Ashton for one day did this to me, I couldn’t wait to see what would happen after being with him longer. A knock on the door jerked me out of staring at myself and I called out.
“Come in.” The door opened and Ashton stood there, now in a pair of boxers holding what appeared to be a pile of clothes.
“You’re finally done,” he said, coming more into the bathroom and setting the clothes on the counter.
“Hey, your shower was hard to work and…it’s amazing,” I added.
“It would have been better if I was there,” Ashton said, taking a step closer to me. With him being practically naked around me, I didn’t know if I could control myself.
“Nope, back away, pervert. I need to get dressed, so out you go.” I put my hands on his hard stomach and tried pushing him out the door. He was like a brick wall. I pushed harder, trying to not let my towel slip off of me at the same time. “Ugh, move, you brick wall!” I grunted. Ashton laughed but finally left the room, closing the door behind him. I stared at it after he left, smiling. If this was how Ashton really was, I liked this better.
Not wanting to take a chance on him coming back in unannounced, I quickly grabbed the clothes he gave me and got dressed. Embarrassed, I picked up my panties on the top and cringed that Ashton grabbed them. I didn’t want to wear the same pair, but with no other choice I slid them on and the rest of the clothes, which consisted of a pair of long sweats and a black shirt that had Green Day written on it in faded letters. Searching through the cabinets, I finally found a brush before brushing my knotted hair and exiting the bathroom.
Ashton sat on the bed looking down at his phone before looking up at me.
“You look good in my clothes,” he remarked. I shook my head at him.
“Go shower.” I left the room and headed downstairs. I headed for the kitchen to make us some breakfast while thinking through all the things I wanted to say to Ashton. As I found the stuff to make pancakes and pans, I started on the batter, making a speech inside of my head. It was the writer in me who liked to have it all planned out before saying it. I poured some pancakes in the pan and leaned against the counter.
Layla, just explain how you feel and tell him how much he has hurt you. Then, of course, ask about Allie. I had to know what happened between them in order to make more sense of why Ashton was the way he was. Then let him explain. I had the tendency to run off before hearing what people had to say, so this time I was going to force myself to stay put and listen to everything Ashton had to say, whether it hurt or not. I planned on making him apologize multiple times before anything else could happen. I was not going to be a pushover.
Putting the bunch of pancakes I had made on a plate, I grabbed two more before searching for the syrup. Right as I put it on the counter, Ashton walked in wearing a pair of worn holed blue jeans and a light blue shirt that hugged his upper body.
“You cooked,” he said, more a statement than a question.
“Yes, I did. Let’s eat then talk.” He nodded and took a seat.
We ate in silence until we both were full and groaning. As the silence wore on, I played with my fingers on the counter trying to come up with something to say to start the conversation I knew we were both dreading.
“It was four years ago,” Ashton said, breaking the silence. I turned and looked at him, listening. “It was my twenty-first birthday, and my parents had let me and Nick have a party at our beach house. We basically invited the entire college, honestly. Allie and I had been dating for two years, and I was completely in love with her, although Nick thought I was crazy since he never liked her from the start. Anyways, I thought long and hard about it and finally decided I was going to propose to her that night at the party.” When he said propose, I felt my breath hitch, and jealousy mixed with pain flared inside of me, but I bit it down, still listening to his story.
“I was so young and in love I didn’t care that we were only twenty-one, and had one more year to graduate. Allie was everything I had wanted. People use to say we made the best couple and that they could see us getting married one day. Well, I talked to my parents, who finally got on board, and hers before fully committing to it and buying the ring. I had it all planned. I was going to have Nick set up a blanket with candles on the beach down away from all the people, then I would take her there before proposing. I was stupid and blind that I didn’t think anything was wrong when I walked in on her in my bedroom, dropping my phone quickly on the dresser. Anyways, the party had more people than I thought would show, and I had lost Allie somewhere along the night.
“The beach was empty besides a few stragglers. I looked for a little bit, asking around for Allie before someone told me they saw her go down the hallway to my bedroom.” Ashton stared down at the granite counter clenching his jaw. “When I got there, she was in my bed, half-naked, with Alex Ryder.” I felt my mouth drop open. Alex? “She…she looked happy that I had caught her, like she had planned the whole thing. Somewhere between me yelling at Alex and tackling him, she fled the room. Nick pulled us apart, but I was too angry so I sent everyone home even though it was only nine. Knowing that Allie was gone, I drowned myself in whiskey while Nick sat beside me watching over me.
“The next morning, my mother called me yelling at me for giving Allie five million dollars. I didn’t realize that was what she was doing in my room when I caught her before the party. Afterwards, I called her, texted her, even went to her parents’ house, but they were gone. She used me for my money then took off.” His voice wasn’t angry or cold; it was sad and hollow. And on his birthday. Reaching out, I laid a hand on his shoulder. I kind of remember hearing about a big party some popular guy was hosting and how it ended early, but I never went and only briefly heard about it. Guess it was Ashton’s party.
“Ashton that’s…terrible. That’s why you use women, huh?” I asked softly. I understood how he felt, having been cheated on myself. But at least I didn’t get stolen from. Yes, it hurt hearing him say how much he loved her and that he was going to propose to her, but hearing the tone of his voice, I knew he felt nothing for her anymore, and hadn’t for a long time. He didn’t answer me as I rubbed his back. I got why he hated Alex because he was caught cheating with his ex, but I knew Alex wouldn’t have done it intentionally. He didn’t seem like that type.
“Mine was on my anniversary,” I said after Ashton was silent for a while. He looked over at me, confused. “When my boyfriend cheated on me. It was our two-year anniversary when I found him in bed with another girl. He said he would pick me up at six, but after two hours of waiting I went to his dorm to see if something was wrong and instead found him having sex with some slut.” I shrugged. It didn’t hurt that bad anymore, talking about it. “He’s now engaged and I’m happy for him,” I added, looking over at Ash. His blue eyes held sympathy but also admiration.
“You don’t sound hurt about it,” he commented. I shrugged.
“I realized that by holding onto it I only hurt myself. There’s nothing I can do to change it, and what happened, happened. I mean, I was hurt for a long time, but I finally got over it. Would I go back and change it? No. Do I wish I never met him and fell in love? No,” I stated simply. And it was true; it happened for a reason and I couldn’t change the past. “You need to move on from it. I’m not saying forget it completely but instead, acknowledge what happened, let yourself hurt, then move on.” I stared into his eyes. “You can’t let it keep holding you hostage.”
“Do you always know what to say? And be so happy all the time?” he asked.
“Well, yes to the first one.” I grinned. “But it took me a long time before I could even start to be happy. If Kacey hadn’t helped me through everything, I wouldn’t be here.”
“Everything as in…” I looked at him, asking myself if I was ready to let him know about my dark past. I had learned to accept it, but I didn’t know if Ashton would.
“I’m going to tell you something about myself, so please don’t run off afterwards,” I said, my eyes pleading up into his. He had confusion written across his face, but he slowly nodded. Taking a deep breath, I told him everything about my parents and what they did to me. How they use to beat me on a regular basis, how I had to learn to cover the bruises with Kacey, the things they said to me, and finally my scar. The whole time I talked, I didn’t once look up at him, not wanting to see his expression. Just one look from Ashton and I knew I would break down, and I couldn’t right now. My voice was emotionless and hollow like his had been the entire time he spoke.
I let out a breath as I finished my story and sat there in silence. I didn’t dare look anywhere besides at the counter. For all I knew, I could be talking to an empty chair. It was hard telling someone about my past, and I felt like I was reliving it all again. It had taken a long time for me to not be skittish around people, and to go out of my own little protective bubble. I used to hate thinking about the things my parents did to me, but after a few years being away at college, I came to realize that if they hadn’t done that to me, I wouldn’t be who I was. I would be an entirely different person, and I honestly love who I am. Yes, I hated my parents with a fiery passion, and I was glad I never had to see them again, but I did still ponder what my life would have been like if I had loving parents, parents who I could talk to about anything and hear them say they love me every day. I wouldn’t deny that I was insanely jealous of Kacey’s relationship with her parents; I wanted that for myself, but in the end, her parents kind of became my own and I realized how stupid my jealousy was.
I’d come to realize that sometimes being blood related meant nothing and having a family who wasn’t blood related was everything. Kacey was my sister, and her parents were my parents. We were a family, whether we were blood or not. They said blood was thicker than water, but in some cases, it wasn’t, and that was mine included.
I waited with bated breath for Ashton to say something, anything. I wanted to steel myself for his rejection, but I couldn’t. After baring my soul to him, I didn’t know how I would feel if he rejected me.
“Layla,” he finally said, breaking the thick tension. His tone showed nothing as I awaited his words. “You are incredible.” What—I looked up at him in surprise. He stared down at me with admiration and love instead of pity and disgust. “You went through all of that, and look at the way you are. You didn’t let that take you down, and you’ve become a better, stronger person.”
“You’re not disgusted with me?” I asked, tears starting to form in my eyes.
“Baby, no.” He stood up by me. He grabbed my chair and spun me around until he stood in-between my legs. “You are incredible. You are nothing what your parents told you, at all. You are not worthless, nor ugly, nor are you going to end up alone; I won’t allow it. Layla, you are beautiful, smart, sexy, funny, amazing, strong, and completely worth everything in this world.
“If only I could go to parents and beat the shit out of them, your mother included, for ever saying such things to you and hurting you. I wish I could have protected you from all of that, and what I’ve said to you, I don’t expect you to forgive me. I’m no better than your parents. But Layla.” He softly cupped my cheeks, looking down at me. “I will spend the rest of my life begging for your forgiveness, proving every single day that you are not worthless and mean the entire world to me. I didn’t know what love felt like until I found you and fell deeply in love with you when I didn’t even know I had. I tried to push you away, forcing myself not to feel anything toward you, but instead, I ended up falling even more. I don’t want your forgiveness, and I don’t expect you to give it to me right away, but I will work for it and prove my feelings for you.
“I have done and said some terrible inexcusable things to you, and I will not make that mistake again. Layla, you make me into a better man than I ever thought I could be. I feel whole when I’m near you, I feel happiness inside of me instead of nothing, and I feel as if I can see the gold at the end of a rainbow.” I smiled at him while tears leaked out of my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. “I do not want to be the reason you cry anymore. I want to be the one making you smile and laugh.” He opened his mouth to talk, but I lifted my hand and placed it over his mouth.
“Ashton, the moment I met you, my life was turned upside down. My life isn’t filled with nothing anymore. I have been hurt, happy, confused, sad, and hopeful the entire time I have known you. When I am with you, I don’t feel like a screw up or that I’m broken. I didn’t want to be with anyone until you came along, and somehow you wiggled your way into my heart. Even when you were a jackass to me, I still liked you. When people would say things about you, I knew that wasn’t the real you, because I had seen the real you. Yes, we fight, argue, and hurt each other, but at the end of it all, I will still love you. You make me forget everything my parents have said to me, and you make me feel worth it for once in my life.
“I’m not saying I forgive right at this moment for everything you have done to me, but it is a start. You accept me for me, and I do the same for you. We are a messed-up pair, but we fit together like a jig saw puzzle. This is going to be hard, but I know we can make it work. That is, if you want me,” I said, dropping my hand from his mouth. A real full-blown smile bloomed across Ashton’s face before he leaned down and captured my lips with his. We kissed until we were forced to come up for breath. He laid his forehead against mine.
“Layla Kingston, I want you forever.”
I grinned up at the man I had somehow come to love despite everything we had put each other through. The man who made me feel like a different and better me; someone who wasn’t afraid of taking a chance. The man who had somehow fixed my heart without me even realizing it. The man who had captured my entire heart and soul when I didn’t think someone could. We had already been through a lot, and I know we will as well in the future, but I knew deep down this was right and I was going to fight for it with everything I had. I was looking at my light at the end of the tunnel, and knowing it was everything I have ever wanted.
I, Layla Kingston, made the cold-hearted playboy feel something inside.