Chapter Sixteen
Fanny
“Did you tell him who you are?” my sister asked.
“No, and I don’t plan to.”
“Then what the hell just happened?” Hollie and I stared at Ash as he emerged from the guestroom and stormed up the interior staircase to the roof with his drumsticks clenched in his fist.
“What exactly do you want to know?” I dropped down on one of the barstools and tried not to cry. “He knows who beat me up. He offered me a job after hearing me play Ramon’s guitar. Oh and Karen is pregnant.”
“Whoa. A lot happened in the last few hours.” She shook her head. “But none of that explains why he nearly bit off my head right now instead of sitting down with us and eating the lunch I prepared.” She frowned. “I might not be as good a cook as you are, but I don’t think turkey melts on rye are all that offensive.”
“I made a pass at him. He rebuffed me.” I blinked back the burn. You would think I’d experienced enough humiliation with him, but no. Stupid me. I just had to go there.
But not anymore
So not anymore.
“Let’s eat lunch,” I declared.
“Fanny,” she said softly, touching my arm. “Maybe I should say something to him.”
“No, Hols. Let him be. Let me be. Alright?”
“Ok.” She took a seat beside me at the table. We ate. She washed the dishes. I dried. I put Saran Wrap on his sandwich, put it on the middle shelf in the fridge and left a note for him on the bar so he could find it after he finished banging his drums one floor above us. Glancing one last time at the stairs, I grabbed my sister’s hand and let her know we needed to have a talk.
In his bedroom with the busted door providing zero privacy, I turned to her, brushed a strand of her hair over her shoulder and told her what I had decided.
“You think she’ll help us?”
“I hope so Hollie. She’s all we have. I’m not asking for his help. Not after what happened.”
“I don’t expect you to. But we don’t have phones. How are you going to get in touch with her?”
“I’m going to walk out the door and go to her surf shop and talk to her.”
“The hell you are.”
“Ash!” My hand went to my throat. I hadn’t realized the drumming had stopped, hadn’t heard him come in. “How much did you…”
“I heard everything,” he growled.
“Oh.” I turned to my sister. “Can you give us a minute alone, Hollie?”
“I don’t think so. He looks mad.”
“It’s ok, Hols.”
“But,” she protested.
“He’s just going to say what he needs to say, then I’ll do what I need to do, and we’ll all just go on with our lives. Simple. No need for drama.”
“Ok.” Hollie left the room slowly, glancing over her shoulder twice before disappearing from sight.
“What’s going on Ash?”
“You tell me, Frances.”
“Um, no. You’re the one who was eavesdropping on a private conversation. You go first.”
“You’re not leaving this apartment without me. It’s too dangerous. Those guys are still out there.”
“It’s just down the sidewalk, a couple of steps through the public parking lot, around the corner and up a half block. I think I can manage it alone.”
“Not. Without. Me.” His gaze traveled over my face. He looked sad, mad and frustrated. I didn’t understand it. I was the one who had been rebuffed.
“What do you need to talk to Simone about?” he asked in a gentler tone.
“Not Simone.” I scrunched my brow. Why did he assume I was going to talk to Simone? I had barely spoken a few words to her. “Karen,” I corrected.
“Alright, Karen then. But why?”
“I’m going to tell her everything.” I lifted my chin. “And ask her if she’ll help me.”
He looked surprised by my explanation. “What kind of help do you need?”
“A cash loan. So Hollie and I can go somewhere…somewhere safe.”
“To prepare for that fight you mentioned.”
“Yes,” I confirmed. He had been paying attention.
“Alone. Just the two of you?”
“Yes, of course just she and I.”
“No way. It’s too dangerous.”
“I don’t remember asking for your permission. And anyway, it’s not your concern.”
“You’re wrong. I told you how we all…”
“You pressed into my hand,” I interrupted him. It was time to cut to the chase. I didn’t have the time or the strength to argue with him anymore.
“What?” His brows rose.
“Twice you pressed closer when I touched you. Last night on the couch and just now outside, you pressed my palms deeper into your skin before you removed them.” He went completely still. Staring. Called out and put on the spot. Good. Now he knew how I felt. “I don’t know what your deal is, but you do like to be touched, or at least you do when it’s me doing it. So you lied to me, and you’re lying to yourself if you believe that shit you told me. So I don’t trust you. I’m going to Karen for help. The end. It’s over. Whatever this is.”
As I had continued my tirade Ash’s gaze had narrowed and narrowed and narrowed further. I backed up as he came stalking toward me. He wasn’t mad anymore. He was furious.
“The hell it is.” He stopped an inch away from me, his body overshadowing mine, the heat of his irritation palpable.
“Did you not hear what I just said?” I whispered.
“I felt it. Every word. Like the fucking slap you meant it to be. But don’t you want to know why.”
“Why you lied?”
“Yeah.”
“Do tell.”
He pressed his hand to my belly. He walked me backward until he had me against the wall. Then he slammed his other hand beside my head and moved in even closer until I barely had room to breathe.
His gaze moved up my body from where he was touching me to my face. “Because I like you way more than I should allow,” he announced huskily.
“What? I don’t understand. Why shouldn’t you allow yourself to like me?”
“Because you deserve better.”
“That’s almost as cliché as its not you it’s me.”
“That works, too.”
“Let me get this straight. You couldn’t admit that you’re attracted to me so you thought it would be better to lie to me and hurt my feelings the way you just did because you think I’m too good for you.”
“The last thing I wanted to do was hurt your feelings, little one. It’s just that you make me forget myself…”
“Me? A nobody in borrowed clothes with a beat-up face, made you…a rich famous rock star…temporarily lose his mind because why? Because you were overcome with passion?”
“What if that were the truth?” He dipped his chin.
“But it’s not, is it? That’s just a bunch of bullshit deflection. The truth is you’re in love with someone else.”
His eyes flared. “Who told you that?”
“I heard you talking to Linc that day you chased me through the woods, and I’ve seen you with Simone. I know that you’re in love with her. But that doesn’t justify you lying to me, even if I am a nobody with nothing.”
“You don’t know jack.”
“But,” I clipped.
“How about you telling me what the hell is going on with you? Who you really are? Who you’re running from? Then I’ll straighten out all that convoluted crap you think you know.”
“You truly have no idea?” I bristled inside of my cage. “Even after all those hints I laid out today?”
He searched my features. A change came over him. Something flickered in his gaze. I swallowed as he withdrew his hand from my belly and lifted it slowly. He slid his fingers along my jaw line framing one side of my face. His eyes dipped to my mouth as he swept his thumb across my lips. My heart started to pound. “It can’t be,” he breathed. I couldn’t answer. Every part of my body was locked tight. His gaze left my mouth but only to follow his hand as he slid his rough fingertips along my smooth cheek then over my ear and higher until he encountered the edge of the beanie and removed it from my head. He drew in a sharp breath noting the ruby regrowth. His eyes hit mine. “It is. Little Rose.” He skimmed the palm of his hand lightly over the red fuzz. He made a keening sound as if mourning the loss of my curls. “Fanny Bay. Fanny Lesowski?”
“Bingo,” I confirmed.
“No.” He pulled back. “Fucking no.” He withdrew one step then two. Cool air rushed in to replace his irresistible heat, but my heart beat faster than it ever had before when I noted his expression.
Shut down.
Closed off.
And his eyes weren’t angry anymore. They were glacial blue.