Chapter Thirty-One
Fanny
“Are you sure about me wearing this?” I asked as I walked side by side with Linc and Simone to the beach.
“It’s what I’ve got on.” Simone toed out of her flip flops and left them by the wall on the sand.
“Why wouldn’t it be ok?” Linc looked puzzled.
“He’s a guy.” Simone said to him and me as if that explained it completely. “Go on out, Linc. I’ll catch up.”
“Ok, babe.” He curled his fingers around her nape, kissed her long and hard, then trotted toward the shoreline. Simone and I both watched as he set his surfboard nose to the ground long enough to fasten the leash to his ankle, and then he was up and running with it again into the water. Yelling, he waved his hand over his head to the four surfers already bobbing on the waves just to the right of the pier. One of them turned around. Ash. His platinum hair glinted in the afternoon sun. My heart fluttered as he acknowledged his cousin with a return wave then looked beyond him scanning the shore to find me. I assumed that he succeeded, though he was fifty yards away, because his gaze lingered in my direction and now my heart wasn’t fluttering anymore, it was flying.
“He has no clue about the nuances between you and Ash.” Beside me, Simone stared out at the others, too. “All he knows is that his cousin is into you.”
I started to protest but swallowed it back. Listening to my heart, it told me she was right. Beyond that we would just have to see.
“But the swimsuit top. The laces.” I sighed. It was very revealing like the open blazer I had worn to the rooftop. I so didn’t want that kind of reaction from Ash today.
“It’ll be covered when you zip up your wetsuit.” That was a whole other concern. A surf lesson with Simone? Yikes.
“Yes, but what about afterwards?”
“You can put a loose tank over it.”
I nodded, but I would have to find a more substantial one than the black see through mesh I currently sported.
“You rock that olive bikini, Fanny. He’ll love you in it. If he ever comes in,” she muttered. “Once they go out the only thing that’ll bring them back in is hunger.” She turned at grinned at me. “For sex or food. That is for the guys. Karen would stay out there till breakfast, but Ramon will bring her in before then.”
We both laughed. The guys loved to surf, but Karen’s obsession with the sport was in a category all its own.
“So around dinner time you think?” I asked, wanting to know when I would get to see Ash.
“When he sees you in that bikini?” She nodded confidently answering her own question. “Easily. Maybe sooner.”
I wasn’t so confident about my allure in the swimsuit or my ability to paddle out to him through waves so huge they were crashing and arcing spray over the top of the pier.
“Hey.” Simone touched my arm as if she could read my troubled thoughts. “They aren’t so big when you’re floating on top of them. The trick is to get on out there without thinking too much about it.” She cocked her head to the side, the ends of her brown ponytail swishing against her slim shoulders. “Advice that could apply to you and Ash right about now I imagine.”
“Yeah,” I allowed. It was weird to be talking with her about him.
“I was around your age when I started to fall for Linc. Love’s exciting, but I know it’s scary, too.”
“It’s not like that with us.” Of course being a big fan, I knew the story about her and Linc meeting here in OB. She had always been the one for him. I certainly wasn’t her. Curvy. Brunette. Super sexy. The holder of Linc’s and Ash’s hearts.
“It’s entirely like that,” she disagreed. “But I can see that it’s going to take him saying the words for you to believe.”
I didn’t say anything. Ash falling in loving with me? No. There she was wrong. But if he ever did? Yes, I would have to hear it from him to believe it.
Gnawing on her lip, she returned her gaze to the ocean, and I figured we were done talking about the topic. “Ash is extremely self-contained. He has his reasons, and I would never betray his confidence by sharing them. Only you are good for him, Fanny. The way he is around you? It’s like we’ve got the old Ash back. The one from before his diagnosis. Better in some ways. I can’t remember him ever smiling so much. But I don’t see him verbalizing his feelings before you do. So do me a favor alright?”
Do her a favor? My reticence must have leaked into my expression.
“Yeah, I sense that you don’t know me well enough to take me into your confidence.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”
“No. It’s ok. But I think I know you pretty well. Your actions speak for you, Fanny. And Ash, well, we all love him. We all want what’s best for him. You can trust in that at least?”
“Yes. Absolutely.”
“Good. So that’s why I’m asking, as a favor to him. To all of us. If something happens, something that makes you doubt how much he cares for you. Would you just come to me before you decide it won’t work out? Or come to any of us. Karen. Linc. Ramon. Second chances are hard to come by. If this thing between you and Ash falls apart…” She pulled in a breath. “Seeing what I already see him feeling for you…” She exhaled. “Plus knowing him the way I do…” Her golden eyes darkened as if that thought troubled her. “I don’t think there’s going to be any going back for him.”
~ ~ ~
Ashland
“The beach is crowded with people,” Linc said from his board beside me. “Her stepfather’s not going to snatch her away in the middle of the afternoon.”
“It’s getting late.” I frowned.
“Yeah, so it is. Let’s grab a couple more good ones while we can.”
“I had a few already.”
“You did,” he agreed. “Full roundhouse on the last. I thought only Karen, Diesel and I had perfected that move.”
I shook my head and smiled. High praise to be included in a group with two ex- professional surfers and one certifiable surfing fanatic.
“Your girl saw you, too. She fell off her board watching you.”
“Her board’s on the sand, Linc.” I didn’t correct him about her being my girl. She was going to be if it were up to me.
“Noticed that. My woman’s a good teacher. Her pupil has got the pop up perfected. Goofy footed. Who woulda-guessed?”
I would have. Fanny did things her own way. I wasn’t surprised she led with her right foot.
“Heard she wrote you a song?”
“How in the hell?” I gave him an incredulous look.
“Ramon to Karen to Simone to me,” he explained.
I threw my eyes to the sky that was lightening to soft blue overhead and turning russet gold where the sun was beginning to set.
“Two for one fish tacos over at the Deck Bar tonight. You bringing Fanny to hang?”
“I dunno, Linc. We’ve been so careful. Just coming out here today was a big risk. What if…”
“There aren’t a lot of guarantees in this life, Ash. There’s a whole fucking bunch of what ifs, though.” He counted on his fingers knowing how I thought. “There’s security at the Deck Bar. She’ll be by your side. Ramon, Diesel. Me. We’ll be there, too. No one’s given any indication that they recognized her today. It’ll be ok.”
“Yeah. You’re probably right. I’ll ask her. Let her decide.”
“Whoa. If you’re starting to delegate, you must be in deep.”
“Please. What makes you think that?”
“Well there’s a lot when it comes to Fanny. She’s in your house, for starters.”
“She was injured.”
“In your bed.”
I didn’t have an answer to explain away that one. Not one he was buying.
“Dinner party at your house. On your roof. That’s your personal space. You took her to the studio. She’s here surfing with us.”
“Ok! Ok! I get your point.”
“You kissed her yet?”
“No.” I shot my gaze back to the shore. “Not yet.”
“But you are?” Linc knew I had never kissed anyone and what it meant that I planned for Fanny to be the one.
“Definitely.” I nodded, my eyes burning brightly, full of emotion, mostly excitement mixed with a little trepidation. Not about kissing her. I wanted that and so much more from her. But there were misconceptions I hadn’t yet cleared up. Things I hadn’t shared with her. My past peppered with experimentation. Sexual appetites she might already sense, but that I needed to explain to prepare her for how I saw us moving forward.
“Wow. I thought you might have already, but then I also figured you would have told me.”
He figured right.
“Well if she’s the one, why the hell are you out here wasting time with me? It’s the beach. Sunset. You’re not going to find a more romantic setting. And it looks like she’s changing behind that towel Simone’s got draped around her. Better get back to shore quick and catch her before she gets away.”
~ ~ ~
Fanny
“I really wish you would’ve given it a try in the water. Your pop up is great.”
“The sand’s not the ocean, Simone.”
“No. You’re right. But the longer you wait to try the bigger the challenge will seem.”
“The waves can’t possibly get any larger.”
“Well,” her gold eyes glittered like the setting sun, “actually they do during storms.”
“Well remind me never to attempt it then. Hey,” I said, noting her sudden pensiveness and realizing she was no longer kidding around. “You ok?” I wondered if she was thinking about the injury that had cost Linc his professional surfing career.
“The past is past. Don’t go there, Mona.” a deep voice said, one that I knew and had craved for hours. I turned around. His hair slicked back, his wetsuit half-off and folded over at the waist, Ash dipped his gaze to me but moved directly to her. My heart twisted inside my chest. He touched her arm and said something I couldn’t hear and pointed to the ocean. “Catch a few waves,” he said louder. “You’ve been stranded on the shore too long without your other half. Linc could use the company. So could you. Yeah?”
She nodded, moved to the side and scooped her navy and lime green striped board off the sand. She turned her gaze to me. “See you later, Fanny.”
“Maybe,” I returned.
“Wish you’d come to the Deck Bar.”
“I’m not sure. My sister’s been in the penthouse by herself with nothing to do half the day.”
“I left her my iPad. I downloaded a bunch of TV series onto it she said she liked when we had dinner together.”
“That was incredibly thoughtful. I’ll think about it. And thanks for the lesson.”
“You’re welcome.” She turned and jogged to the water looking like a cover model while she did.
“I watched you with her,” Ash said.
I turned to him. “Yeah?” Which of us held more of his attention, I wondered morosely.
“You did well. You’re goofy footed.”
“That’s what Simone said. Figures with me I’d be odd. Right?” I shrugged.
“You’re unique.”
“Sure yeah. That’s a nice way of trying to say that I don’t fit in. I got that a lot when we moved to Fake Town USA from Canada.” I stomped down the beach in the direction of the sun and the penthouse, but he grabbed my arm. His grip wasn’t ungentle, but it stopped me in my tracks. I dropped my gaze to his hand. Golden from the sun, large and masculine, his long fingers encompassed my upper arm and his touch, so warm, so coveted, electrified my skin.
“Ash,” I began, staring at his bare toes in the sand and yes, even his feet dusted with sand were sexy. “I’m sorry. That was immature. You were trying to be nice, and I took it the wrong way. Maybe I got too hot.” The nights in OB might be cold in February, but the days were plenty warm. “I’m tired.” I lifted my gaze. “Maybe I should just go lay down.” His expression stopped my words faster than his touch had stopped my feet. “What’s wrong?” He looked so serious. Maybe even a little vexed.
“When I say unique, Fanny, I mean it in every possible way that it can be positive. Sit down,” he ordered in that deepened voice that made me scramble to obey. “I wanna say something.” He gestured to the sand.
“But I don’t have a towel.”
“On your board then.”
“Ok.” I dropped the light blue board, stepped on it and sat, arranging my long white gauzy skirt around my ankles.
“It’s not her you know.” Had I been that obvious? I stared up at him, watching rivers of water drip from his hair and slide down his sculpted, smooth chest.
“Her who?” I hedged.
“There’s only one that I’ve thought about since the day I first met her. It’s not Simone. It’s you.”
“What?” My heart started beating really fast.
“That gorgeous hair of yours. Your beautiful eyes. That fucking flame of irrepressible hope inside of you. I met you at one of the most turbulent junctures in my life, but after a single conversation with you guess what dominated my mind when I was headed to the doctor’s office to get the results? You. I was thinking how I’d never met anyone like you. How one of a kind you were. And cute as fuck. Sweet. Funny. And tough, too. I didn’t fail to notice how you stood up to your stepfather.”
“Ash, I breathed.
“There’s more.” He dropped down onto one knee on the board, his expression earnest and his posture purposeful. I scooted forward anxiously. He looked like he was about to pop up on a really serious wave or pop the question.
The first? Sure. I’d seen him do it all afternoon. The second? Not likely.
“You don’t need to say more.” I lifted my right arm sliding my fingertips along his resolute jaw and angling my head to keep the setting sun out of my eyes and his handsome face in full view.
“You’re wrong. I do.” He made a low approving sound that transmuted increased tension to nerve endings already frayed and hypersensitized in his presence. “I’m not finished yet.”
“Alright.” I swept my thumb along his stubble roughened cheek encouraging him to continue.
“After they told me the news, who do you think I thought of first?”
“Me?” I couldn’t fathom it.
“Yes, you. Why now I thought? Why meet someone like her now? Someone who makes me think of hopeful possibilities when my whole world is collapsing around me?”
“Oh, Ash,” I soothed, and he pressed his jaw deeper into my hand. “The day I was supposed to meet you, I went out alone. I got shit-faced drunk trying to forget you. I fucking threw my cell out the window after getting all those texts from you. I totaled my car on the way home. It nearly killed me, you know, wrecked me not to answer you. But what could I say? What could I fucking say?”
“I don’t know.” I slid closer to him. The board was wet. The tide had come in, the water swirling around us. I drew my legs up higher to make room so he could come closer. He pressed his cocked knee more firmly into the side of mine. “But I wish you hadn’t gone through that alone. That I had been with you then.”
“Yeah.” His expression softened. “I had a feeling that’s exactly how you would have reacted. Just from the little you gave me that night I knew. I wasn’t in the proper frame of mind to appreciate you the way you deserve.” He leaned closer placing his left hand on my right knee and slid it up to the middle of my thigh. “But I’m ready now, Fanny Bay.” Warmth from his approving words and his claiming touch shimmered over my skin, zinged between my legs and tingled all the way to the top of my scalp.
“I’m ready, too, Ash.”
“Good. I’m glad. Hold onto that thought, little rose. There’s more.” Gaze on mine, his eyes glistening like the ocean set aglow by the setting sun, he brought his right hand up, skimmed it along my cheek and curled his strong fingers around my nape. “More for me to tell, more for you to fully understand how exceptional, extraordinary, incomparable and unrivaled I think you are.”
I was glad we were anchored together, my hand to his face, his around my neck our lower limbs entwined. Otherwise, I felt like I might have floated away on those words alone.
“After I purchased your car and made sure the money transferred to your account, I got rid of every television I owned. I turned over the Hollywood stuff with Outside to Linc. He didn’t ask why, and I didn’t tell him. Sure, I did it because of all those reasons you already guessed. But I also did it to avoid information about you. I didn’t want to know who you were with. What you were doing with them. See you in pictures or video moving on with your life. I told myself I had done what I had to. That I wanted you to go on, to have your dream, and to have whatever or whoever you needed to be happy, but it wasn’t the truth. It wasn’t what I really wanted.”
“What do you really want, Ash?”
“I thought that was obvious.” Smiling, he withdrew his hand from my neck sliding the back of it along my jaw, over my chin and then under it. His gaze had lowered to follow the movement of his hand. “I want you, my gypsy rose.” His used his hand under my chin to lift it. “Just you.” The sun a ball of fire dangling over the ocean, he lowered his head while continuing to lift mine. I held my breath. I closed my eyes. My body shivered with anticipation to receive his kiss like the shore awaiting the embrace of the sea. Then it happened. He touched his mouth to mine. He brushed his firm lips across my softer lush ones. He moved his mouth purposefully and insistently over mine. I melted. I swooned. I felt like I was liquid sun fire he shaped and molded to his will. He used his thumb pressing it into my skin and tugging to urge me to part my lips. He slipped his warm wet tongue inside my mouth. He shared his breath. Himself. He was ready. I was ready. No longer my own, I became his.