Chapter Twelve
Not again.
Sarah sighed, reluctant to open the door to the insistent knock. But she did so anyway, and faced her guest.
“I’m not really good company right now, Kenzie.”
“I gathered, seeing as you didn’t answer my call. Or my texts.” Kenzie stepped in through the doorway. “You know that’s going to make me worry, right?”
“I’m sorry. Honestly, I’m not even sure where my phone is.”
“Not a problem. I can simply help you find it.”
Kenzie wasn’t going to leave, but then she hadn’t really expected her friend to go so easily.
“Don’t you have to work at the pub or something?” Sarah closed the door and followed Kenzie into the house.
“Actually, I’m off today. Lucky for you.” Kenzie crossed to the counter in the kitchen. “Oh, look. Here’s your phone.”
Crap.
“It’s always in the most obvious place, isn’t it?” Sarah murmured with a slight shrug.
Kenzie shifted the phone from one hand to another, staring hard at Sarah.
“You look just as awful as he does.”
Sarah’s mouth fell open and she blinked in dismay. “Excuse me? I’ve showered—”
“Okay, props for not stinking. But you both look like you’ve gone through an emotional hurricane.”
Sarah’s chest tightened and she was thankful there were no more tears to cry.
“Oh, Kenzie… I know you mean well. But you’ve got to let it go.”
“What’s keeping you two from being together?”
“What’s not?” Sarah hesitated. “There’s just so much. We don’t stand a chance.”
“You guys have an amazing chemistry.”
“Yes, well so do Mentos and diet soda, but they don’t last forever. In the end you’re just left with a complete mess.”
Kenzie nodded slowly. “Is it what happened with him and Hailey back then? I’m not going to argue that he messed up, big time. I’ll give you that.”
“It’s part of it,” she agreed softly.
How could someone you loved, who claimed to love you more than anything, go and sleep with one of your best friends? How did you ever get past that?
“He was only eighteen. I know it doesn’t excuse it, but he was probably like every other teenage guy thinking with his dick.” Kenzie’s face scrunched. “And from what I understand, Hailey came on to him. Which still shocks the hell out of me. I never expected her to play such a blatant slut card.”
Ouch. She winced at the harsh words for the woman they’d once considered a close friend.
“Maybe it was the alcohol?” Sarah suggested, not sure why she was defending either of them. “But they both made the decision that night.”
“It was so long ago.” Kenzie hesitated. “If Ian means as much to you as I think he does, maybe you could try forgiveness?”
Would it ever be that easy? “Would you be able to if you were in my place?”
“I don’t know, honestly.” Kenzie hesitated, seeming to think on it. “But if I loved someone…or thought I did, I think I would truly try.”
Sarah closed her eyes. If only it were that easy. If only things weren’t such an absolute mess. Coming back to the island had been a mistake. She shouldn’t have opened a door that had been sealed shut. It risked the life she’d gone on to build without Ian.
Bringing him back into it at this point… A chill swept through her and she shook her head.
“It can’t work, Kenzie. Ian and I are too different.”
Kenzie looked as if she wanted to say something, and then bit her lip. She shook her head instead.
“Maybe you’re different, but you’re also alike in more ways than you think. You need each other.” She set Sarah’s cell phone on the counter again and walked to the living room window. “Maybe I’m the only one who can see it, but I know the man my brother is beneath the badass exterior. Even if he’s so determined to present that hard, intimidating side to the world.”
Sarah didn’t try to argue, because even though she knew Ian still had a dark side, he also had a good side. She’d seen it. She’d fallen in love with it. But it wasn’t enough anymore. Even if she could forgive what had happened eleven years ago, she still had to think about Emily.
Ian was a felon, and apparently he still ran with the criminal sort. What kind of mom willingly exposed her child to that?
Again she thought of the man in his shop the other day, the one Ian had warned her to stay away from. Kenzie couldn’t possibly know about the type of business her brother did or she wouldn’t be so supportive of setting them up again.
But even if there wasn’t the felony, there was more. There was always more.
I sure as hell don’t want any kids. His words from this morning rang sharp in her mind again. Had been resonating all day.
She’d made the right choice in not trying to stay eleven years ago. And she was making the right choice now. This wasn’t about forgiveness; this was about common sense.
Maybe Ian was the type of guy you slept with, but you sure didn’t keep him in your life. Unfortunately her heart was really bad at keeping that line drawn in the sand.
Sarah touched her friend’s shoulder gently. “Look, this topic is kind of heavy. Why don’t we go walk into town? Get an early dinner on the dock? It’s gorgeous outside.”
Kenzie stared out the window for a bit longer, seeming lost in her own thoughts. Almost unhappy.
Finally she turned and nodded. “Yeah, sure. That sounds good.”
They left the house and made the short walk into the adorable town of Coupeville where most of the businesses were on Front Street, right along the water.
Fortunately, their conversation stayed away from Ian now, and on light and neutral topics. Like the fact that Kenzie was taking online classes to get her paralegal degree. That little fact was somewhat of a surprise to Sarah. She’d never realized her friend harbored any interest in the legal field whatsoever.
They turned onto the wharf and walked out onto the structure that was over a century old. The historical wharf with the red building at the end was a well-recognized landmark of the town. So beautiful, rustic and with a fascinating history.
She remembered the locals telling how once, before the Deception Pass Bridge had been built, there had been a steamboat service from Seattle to the Coupeville wharf that had brought people to the island.
Even now, as she walked out on the old wooden boards next to Kenzie, she could visualize what it must’ve been like a century ago. But then, she’d always been fascinated by history and old photographs.
She was so busy reacquainting herself with the view that it took a moment to realize Kenzie had gone silent.
“Kenz? You okay?”
“Shit.” The word was almost a whisper, but it was thick with tension.
Following Kenzie’s gaze, she spotted the group of men walking up the plank onto the wharf from a dock that moored a bunch of boats.
“What’s going on? Who are they?”
Kenzie didn’t reply, just shook her head. Her jaw clenched and Sarah could’ve sworn her friend was considering jumping off the side of the wharf to avoid the inevitable confrontation.
“Kenzie McLaughlin,” one of the guys called out. He was tall and blond. Kind of preppy-looking, and altogether too pretty for Sarah’s taste. “You’re still looking damn fine, my little Highland Hottie.”
The men he was with all snickered as they stared at Kenzie as if she were a prime cut of meat.
Jerkwads. All of them.
Sarah snuck another glance at Kenzie, wondering how she’d react. Just waiting for her friend to rip them to bits. But she wasn’t even looking at them as she increased her stride to pass them.
“Where you going, baby? Why don’t you come hang out on my boat for a few and we can have some fun?”
Their ensuing laughter irked Sarah, and she was tempted to spout off something she shouldn’t, but she bit her tongue. Fortunately the men kept walking.
At the end of the wharf, Kenzie nearly ran inside the building.
Sarah caught up to her. “Hey, are you okay?”
“Fine. Just craving coffee and food.”
“Umm. You’re not even going to tell me who those idiots were?”
“Well, you nailed it. They’re idiots.” Kenzie’s smile was hard though. “Let’s get a table okay? I need to eat.”
There was a story there, but obviously Kenzie wasn’t about to get into it. Not now anyway. Sarah tucked away that little tidbit of info.
“Sure.” She nodded slowly and gave her friend a reassuring smile. “I’m actually pretty hungry myself.”
*
After work Ian walked from his shop to Sarah’s house since it was only a few minutes away.
But when he spotted Kenzie’s car in the driveway, he hesitated.
Hell. He didn’t really want an audience for this whole apology scenario he had in his head. But then again, maybe it would help to have her there. She could be a defuser to the situation. Ensure he wouldn’t try to jump Sarah’s bones again, because that would just be awkward with his sister watching.
After knocking on the front door a few times and getting no response, Ian dug his cell from his pocket and sent his sister a text to find out where they were.
She replied back a moment later saying they’d walked into town to have dinner out on the wharf. And why did he want to know where she was anyway?
He gave a slight smile and shook his head. Shite. Maybe the apology would have to wait.
Shoving his phone back into his pocket, he turned to walk back down the porch steps. The car that turned into the driveway slowed him down. Looked like a rental. It came to a stop a few feet away.
With the sun behind the car, it wasn’t easy to make out the driver, but she emerged a minute later.
Eleven years had passed, and Ana Thornton had barely aged. Maybe a few more wrinkles and some gray hairs in her short bob, but Sarah’s mother could almost pass as her older sister.
Uncertain of how she’d react to seeing him, he hesitated on the porch, thrusting his hands into the back pockets of his jeans.
“Ian McLaughlin.” She took a cautious step forward. “Is that you? Or am I confusing you with Colin?”
“You had it right the first time.” A faint smile tugged at his lips and beneath his discomfort there was a familiar fondness for Sarah’s mom. “You look well, Ana.”
“And you’re a good liar, but thank you. I’m sure I look about as awful as I feel after traveling all day, I guess.” She grimaced and glanced past him toward the house.
“Has your husband come with you?” he asked mildly, trying not to let his expression turn bitter with the words.
The idea of seeing Sarah’s dad made his gut clench, but he’d face the man if needed. He’d never been one to walk away from a confrontation.
“No.” Her lashes fluttered down. “Ed died from a heart attack three years ago.”
Now he struggled to hide his shock. Ed had passed away? Sarah had never mentioned it since her return.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured a bit lamely.
“Thank you.” She gave a brief smile and glanced up again, looking past him. “Are you…spending time with Sarah?”
“No. Well, aye. A bit.” He paused. “I didn’t realize you were coming out.”
Guilt flickered in Ana’s eyes before she cleared her throat. “No. Neither does Sarah.”
Really? Sarah had no idea her mother was coming to Whidbey? Now that was going to be a shock and a half.
The sound of another car door opening had his attention shifting beyond Ana.
He stilled at the sight of the small girl exiting the vehicle. Sarah’s daughter. No doubt about it.
“Emily, I asked you to wait in the car.”
The little girl shrugged, her pretty face—so much like her mother’s—crinkled into a scowl.
“I was bored in there. And I feel sick, Grandma. We’ve been driving for too long.”
She was Sarah’s mini-me. Her hair wasn’t quiet as dark as Sarah’s, maybe a little more brown than black, but it was long and shiny just like her mother’s. She was adorable and delicate in her denim shorts and a pink glittery tank top with matching sparkly pink sunglasses.
“We drove here straight from Sea-Tac,” Ana explained. “Before that we had about five hours on a plane.”
“Understandable. That’s a long time to travel.”
Shite this was a trip. Sarah’s daughter was here, standing right in front of him. Staring up at him with blatant curiosity, her hands on her hips.
“Where’s my mom?”
“Umm, she’s gone for a walk.”
“I don’t understand why people walk for fun. Who are you?”
And here came the questions.
“Ian.”
“I’m Emily. Sarah’s my mom.”
“So I gathered.”
“Are you friends with her?” She continued, barely taking a breath. “Did you know she’s single now? She can date.”
Christ. How old was this little matchmaker again? He could feel the heat in his neck as he struggled to answer that question. Children were just filterless little explosives, weren’t they?
“Emily, don’t be rude.”
Even while grateful for Ana’s intervention, Ian still couldn’t help but be amused by Emily.
“I’m not rude, Grandma. I was just telling him.” Emily rolled her eyes, before glancing curiously at the house. “Was this my great-grandma’s house?”
“Yes,” Ian answered before Ana could.
Emily’s attention slid to the yard that circled the entire house. “Grandma, is that grass part of the house?”
“Yes.”
“Woo whoo!”
Ian watched as she kicked off her flip-flops and sprinted toward the stretch of grass that was the widest.
“Emily.” Ana sighed and shook her head, but it was the only effort she made to stop her granddaughter as she launched into a handspring.
Just like her mama.
Somewhat alarmed that she was going to break something, Ian clenched his hands into fists and held his breath until Emily landed safely on her feet.
“She nearly gives me a heart attack every time she does that,” Ana muttered. “She’s just like her mother was. Gymnastics is in her blood.”
He watched as Emily grabbed her sunglasses, which had fallen off, from the ground and slid them back on.
“I remember Sarah loved it as well. Emily’s quite good for being so young, aye?”
“I suppose.” Ana gave him a considering, sidelong glance. “So Sarah’s gone on a walk?”
“She and Kenzie are at the wharf having a bite to eat. I could walk you both down there and we could meet them?”
Now why had he offered that? He knew that Ana had lived on the island for at least eight years while her husband was stationed in the navy. She probably knew exactly where the wharf was.
“That’d be great. Thanks, Ian. I desperately need to run inside and use the bathroom first, though.” She paused. “Do you mind keeping an eye on Emily?”
Alarm slid through him and his mouth flapped a bit. She was trusting him with a child? As in babysitting?
“I, well—”
“Five minutes.” Ana laughed and patted him on the shoulder. “You’ll be fine. She’ll probably keep doing flips the whole time I’m gone.”
And then Ana disappeared into the house, leaving him alone with Emily.
But instead of doing flips and keeping her distance, Emily approached. Then, just a few feet from him, she kicked herself into a handstand.
“So how do you know my mom?” she asked, from upside down.
Oh boy. Not going there. “We were friends when she lived on the island.”
“Were you her boyfriend?”
He mumbled something she wouldn’t hear. Shite, man, change the topic.
“So how long have you been doing gymnastics, Emily?”
“Four years. I love it.” She fixed her ponytail, which was falling down. “This is a great yard. We don’t have a yard right now. We live in an apartment and there’s nowhere to practice my gymnastics. I hate it.”
“I’m sorry.” And he was. Emily was obviously an energetic kid who needed lots of space to run around.
“It’s okay. Mom says with the money we get from selling this house we can maybe buy a new one.” She glanced around. “But I like this house. I wonder if we could live here.”
That nearly had him guffawing out loud. Sarah moving to the island permanently? Not likely. She’d probably faint at the idea.
“You seem nice,” Emily said lightly.
Nice wasn’t generally a word that people described him with, but all right.
“Uh, well, thank you?”
“You’re welcome.”
“Neil was a real asshat.”
Ian blinked, nearly choking on a reply. Had this child just referred to her father—by his first name at that—as an asshat?
“An asshat, you say? Do you even know what that means, Emily?”
“No. But I heard some teenagers call a mean guy an asshat at the mall once.” She came out of the handstand and landed back on her feet.
Damn, she really was good. And she amused him. He almost found himself eager to hear what she’d say next, because there sure didn’t seem to be any boundaries.
“I think that’s why my mom divorced him. Because he was so mean. He made her cry.” She strode forward, closer to him. “Do you make girls cry?”
Ouch. He struggled with the guilt over having made Sarah cry in the past, and the brewing fury that her husband had also brought her to tears.
“Not intentionally,” he finally answered cautiously.
“Intentionally? Does that mean like on purpose?”
“Yes.”
“That’s good then.” She spun away and did a series of cartwheels. “And you shouldn’t hit girls either.”
A chill swept through him at her seemingly casual words, but he could sense the intensity behind them. Anger. As if she’d witnessed something no child should have had to.
Fuck, what kind of asshat—as Emily put it—had Sarah married?
He wanted to ask if she’d ever seen her dad hit Sarah. It was on the tip of his tongue. But he didn’t have the right. Emily was just a child.
“Aye, hitting is quite bad.”
“You talk funny. Are you from England?”
“Scotland. Long ago, though. Most of my accent is gone now.”
“I still hear it.” Emily returned to his side. “It’s pretty.”
Lovely. He had a pretty voice.
His lips quirked and he glanced furtively toward the house. Where the hell was Ana, and what was taking her so long?
“So, uh, how do you do in school?” he asked conversationally.
“I do good in school, but it’s so boring.”
“Yeah. It can be.”
“You’re not supposed to say that. You’re supposed to tell me it’s fun and it’s good for me. Don’t you know anything about being an adult?”
“Hmm. Apparently not.” He shook his head. “You’re a rather smart little girl, aren’t you?”
She placed a hand on her hip and gave him a look of disgust. “I’m not a little girl, I’m a tween.”
What the hell was a tween?
“Gonna be a teenager in three more years.” She turned away and did another cartwheel, sending her sunglasses flying.
Three? Wait. What? Ian paused, wracking his mind for that conversation he’d had with Sarah a few days ago. Hadn’t she said Emily was eight?
“Five more, right?”
“No, I’m ten now. Ten plus three is thirteen. You should totally know that.” She picked her sunglasses off the ground and slipped them back on, but not before he’d seen the vibrant green of her eyes.
Ian reared back, almost stumbling over his feet. His heart pounded twice as fast and the gears in his mind were cranking.
She was ten years old, not eight.
It wouldn’t be the first time you forgot a condom.
Sarah’s words raced through his head. The condom they’d forgotten on prom night.
No. She wouldn’t have. There was no way Sarah would hide this from him. No way…
“What month is your birthday?” he rasped.
“February.”
One word. And it changed his entire world.