Chapter Nine
“I can’t do this,” Molly whispered to Ben as he raised his hand to knock on his mother’s door.
He dropped his hand and looked down at her. “What?”
“This pretending to be engaged thing,” she said, panic in her blue eyes. “I don’t know how to fake being engaged. Even the idea of being engaged…um, not to you personally or anything…gives me hives.”
“Yeah, I know.” He tried to hide his surprise. She’d never had a problem with engagement or marriage. After talking to Addie he’d driven home, his mind racing a mile a minute. He allowed himself to think about when she’d broken up with him; he tried to wrack his brain for any clues, any things he might have dismissed because he’d been so angry. But so many years had passed, that time in his life such a blur. Then he went over her behavior since she’d been back in Shadow Creek…the nightmares, the wounded way she’d look at him, or the way she’d look at him when her eyes were filled with desire. It didn’t add up.
“I just, I don’t know how we’ll pull it off,” she said.
He grasped her hand. Surprise lit her eyes, but she didn’t pull her hands from his; instead, she held on tightly. “Listen, we have no choice now. Believe me, I don’t like this either, but we can have fun planning our revenge on Finn one night over drinks. I know all his weaknesses.”
Molly laughed as the door opened, his brother standing there with a suspicious gleam in his eyes. “C’mon in. We were talking about you guys. Mom is looking forward to hearing all the wedding details,” he said, taking Molly’s coat.
Ben was about to list all the bones in his brother’s body he was going to break and in what order, when his mother called out from the kitchen. “Hello, Molly! Come in, dear, make yourself at home.” Molly shot him another panicked look before smiling and heading toward the kitchen.
“Don’t pretend you’re mad at me when you really want to be thanking me right now,” Finn said when Ben started walking toward the kitchen.
“You’re an idiot,” he said, looking over his shoulder at Molly. She was giving his mother a hug and then sitting down beside her at the table. She looked gorgeous. When he’d returned with coffees, she’d been dressed and ready to go. For a second, he’d allowed himself to pretend they were engaged. Her eyes had lit up when he’d walked in with their coffees. She’d left her hair down and falling around her shoulders. Her usual work suit or hospital scrubs had been replaced with a pair of dark skinny jeans and soft-looking navy sweater. She looked sweet and gorgeous, and so much like the girl he’d fallen in love with. He’d pretended she was fine, that nothing had happened to her, and that no one had hurt her. He had kept his suspicions to himself, and it had nearly killed him.
He wanted Molly safe and whole and happy. More than any of his other needs. They drank their coffees in the car as he drove them to his mother’s house, and Molly made him stop to get flowers. It was as though no time had passed, that they had turned into this adult version of the couple they were meant to be. Except it was all pretend…thanks to the idiot standing next to him.
Finn poked a spatula in his direction. “I’m not. I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.”
Ben pinched the bridge of his nose and looked down, counting to ten.
“Come and join us, you two!” his mother yelled.
He flipped his brother the finger and then walked into the kitchen, bending down to give his mother a kiss. “Hi, Mom, you’re looking well,” he said, straightening up and taking in the coloring in her cheeks. He’d seen her every day since she’d left the hospital, and her progress was pretty damn remarkable.
She wasn’t smiling now; she was staring at his leg and frowning. “Are you limping?”
“Yes,” Finn and Molly said at the same time.
“We were jogging, and on our way back he started limping,” Molly said, ratting him out.
“You know you’re not supposed to run,” his mother said.
“Yeah, especially with your advanced years,” Finn said, pouring coffee and smiling at Molly.
“I’m eighteen months older than you, idiot.”
“Ben,” his mother hissed. “Not at the table.”
“Right,” he said, sitting beside Molly. He wasn’t going to help his brother. He could serve all of them. “I’m fine. I’m not working this weekend anyway. By Monday it’ll be better.”
His mother turned to Molly. “See that he doesn’t overdue it this weekend, dear. I apologize in advance for the stubborn grouch he’ll be.”
Molly laughed. “Don’t worry. I’ll see to it that he doesn’t overexert himself.”
Molly and his mother jumped as pots and pans crashed to the ground from Finn’s direction. He didn’t bother to look. His mother was still frowning at him. He avoided eye contact.
“Molly, talk some sense into that son of mine. He’s so much like his father. Both of them are. Do you know how he got that injury?”
“Mom…” he groaned.
“He was rescuing a cat from a tree,” Finn called out.
“Finn, that is enough,” their mother chided. “No. He managed to rescue two twin babies from a house fire. It would have been a tragic loss. But he risked everything. He stayed in that building even after they were ordered to evacuate. When I got that call, it had only been a few months after their father had died…”
Ben had a lump in his throat. Molly had reached across the table to hold his mother’s hand, and he could see her eyes had tears in them as well. Sometimes he thought it was unfair for his mother to have them all in the same profession. She was tough as nails.
“So when I saw him in the ER, unconscious, I held his hand and prayed. As soon as he woke up, I told him I loved him, and then I yelled at him.”
Ben smiled at his mother, taking in the warmth in her face. She had aged well, and she was full of energy and life, until this surgery. But she had held their family together. “Mom, you know we’ll always come out okay.”
Their mother pursed her lips. “I know you both think you’re young and strong and invincible. But you have to stop taking your safety for granted. Maybe now that you’re settling down with Molly you’ll use a little more caution.”
Molly looked over at him, and his stomach dropped as he read the worry in her gaze; he knew she was thinking of that night at the hospital. “This is probably not the best time to tell you this, but I don’t want you to hear it from someone else.”
His mother sat up a little straighter. “Yes?”
“I’m in the running for fire chief when Darren retires next year.”
His mother gasped and tears filled her eyes. Shit. “I always made it clear this was my goal. I’m going to be okay, Mom. I’ll be fine.”
She covered her face.
“Seriously, you had to tell her now?” Finn said, walking over.
“What was I supposed to do?” Ben asked, leaning forward and kissing the top of his mother’s head. “Don’t be mad at me,” he whispered. He avoided looking at Molly because he could feel the intensity of her stare.
She dropped her hands and looked at him. “I’m not mad at you, Ben. I know you’ve wanted this for a long time. I’m proud. I’m proud of both of my sons. But I worry. I didn’t know what I was getting into when I married your father. I didn’t understand that kind of worry until I was up all night, waiting for him to get home. And then when the both of you decided to follow in his footsteps, I don’t think I’ve slept a decent night, since. I just… You boys. I can’t have anything happen to either of you,” she said, wiping her tears with a napkin.
He cleared his throat. “It won’t.”
She looked back at him with eyes that told him she’d heard that before. His father had said it all the time, until the one time it wasn’t true.
He looked up at Molly, and she was staring at him with tears in her eyes.
“We’ll be fine. No need to be dramatic,” Finn said. For once, Ben was grateful for his brother’s poorly timed humor.
“Finn, can I help you?” Molly asked.
“Nope. I’ve got it all under control,” he said, as the fire alarm went off. “Don’t worry, don’t worry,” he said, waving a towel over the smoke detector outside the kitchen door. “Just the bacon,” he said. Ben leaned back in his chair and sipped coffee, ignoring the smoke.
“Oh my dear,” their mother said. “Molly, I’m so sorry. I’m not sure what this food is going to taste like. I tried so hard to teach them how to cook when they were growing up, but it always resulted in disaster. One would end up throwing flour at the other. The other would throw eggs. It was a nightmare. I’m afraid I haven’t done a good job for their future wives,” she said, patting Molly’s hand.
Molly was wiping tears of laughter with the Luigi’s Pizza napkins his brother had set the table with. Their poor mother—she had tried. “It’s okay,” she said. “I’m afraid I’m not much of a cook, either.”
Their mother continued patting her hand. “That’s okay. I’m going to get better really quick. I love cooking. I can make food, and you can keep it in the freezer. You work so hard. I’ll be a big help. And then when babies come along—”
“Mom,” Ben choked, the awful coffee going down the wrong way. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
“Right, right,” she said, smiling at Molly. “No pressure. But still. I just want you two to know that I love babies, and I will be more than willing to babysit. Anytime.”
They were spared having to answer because Finn appeared suddenly with platters of food that he set on the table. “Finn, what the hell is this?” Ben asked, looking around at the unappetizing display.
Even their mother didn’t admonish him as they all stared at the undercooked bacon and overcooked eggs. “Well, I had to throw on a new pack of bacon. I have the other one; it’s just a little crispy.”
He looked over at Molly, whose face was red with barely controlled laughter.
“No one can eat this,” their mother said. “Finn, I’m sorry, but I cannot allow poor Molly to eat this. She might get food poisoning.”
Finn shoved his hands in the back pockets of his jeans. “I think you’re overreacting.”
Ben stood up. “No, I’m pretty sure she’s right. How about I cook?”
Everyone eyed him skeptically. “I can make us something edible at the very least.”
“All right, thank you, Ben. Finn go help him,” their mother said with a stern frown.
“Tell me how work is going,” his mother said, leaning forward to talk to Molly. Ben made sure to listen in for any insight into Molly’s life. He needed to get rid of Finn because he was going to ramble and Ben wouldn’t be able to hear.
“So things look like they’re going well between the two of you. Your grudge is over? You’re looking somewhat more normal,” Finn said.
He took out the largest knife and made a point of opening the bacon with a wide swoop of the knife close to Finn’s face. “I am normal. I realized I can’t exactly hold a grudge for something that happened when we were basically kids. What twenty-year-old knows what they want anyway?” He did, he’d known, but maybe he was different.
“That’s very mature of you, Ben,” Finn said, clapping his hands slowly.
“Go and get more sliced bread from the freezer downstairs,” he snapped. He actually didn’t need any more bread and he had no idea if there was any bread down there, but that should keep his brother busy for a while. “It’s buried at the bottom. Don’t come up until you find it. I have to fix this mess you made and redeem our reputation,” he said, scowling at Finn while carefully placing bacon on the pan.
“Relax, Martha. I’m sure your brunch will turn out fine,” Finn said, walking away.
Molly shifted in her chair. “It’s going really well. The hospital has changed so much since I lived here. The new wing is gorgeous and filled with state-of-the-art equipment. Because of all that, they’ve been able to attract some of the best in the profession.”
“Like yourself,” his mother said.
He walked over and poured them each a cup of freshly brewed coffee. At least he knew how to make coffee. Molly blushed slightly at his mother’s compliment. “Thank you, Ben,” she said, adding cream to her cup. “Lots of doctors from much larger hospitals. Like your surgeon, Marjorie. He was a top surgeon in Chicago, and he’s here now.”
“He was wonderful. An absolute dream.”
“He’s great to work with, too,” Molly said. “Have you found out anything else about your tumor? Did he get the results?”
“I go in on Monday. But I think it’s going to be just fine,” his mother said. His gut clenched. He hoped so, too. She had been through so much, and she deserved to live peacefully now. Unfortunately, he knew there were no guarantees for anyone.
“I hope so, too. Let me know if you need anything. It’s a great hospital. Very unusual to have a hospital like this in a rural area.”
“Someone made a huge donation,” Ben said, forcing himself into the conversation. “Anonymously.”
“That must have been quite the donation,” Molly said, turning to look at him when he walked back to the cooking area. He found a pair of tongs and used them to take the bacon off the pan, place it onto a dish, and then cover it with foil. He was pretty impressive.
“Well, it was a wonderful thing to do and very needed,” his mother said. “Now, tell me, you two, have you set a date?”
Molly’s face turned red, and she looked up at him as he placed the covered dish on the table, panic in her eyes.
He put his arm around her chair, careful to keep his hands off her actual body. “We are waiting for Molly’s work schedule to clear up a bit.”
Molly nodded rapidly. “Yes, since I’m new, I didn’t feel like it was a good time to ask for too many days off.”
His mother’s narrowed eyes were on him as she took a sip of coffee. He felt a bead of sweat trickle down his spine. The woman was a shark, post-surgery or not. “Make sure they aren’t taking advantage of your excellent work ethic, dear. You don’t want to run yourself down.”
“Oh, it’s not like that, Marjorie. Don’t worry. I love my job. It doesn’t feel like work at all,” she said, smiling at his mom.
“I bet those children love you. You’ll make a wonderful mother when you two have children of your own,” she said, giving Molly a sweet smile.
He choked on his coffee, and his mother gave him a pointed look. “We’re both pretty career-focused at this point, Mom.”
“Well, don’t wait too long,” Finn said, waltzing back into the kitchen without any bread.
Ben stuck out his foot as he walked by.
Finn tripped but his mother and Molly didn’t notice. “Finn, can you manage to put the eggs on a plate and bring over the toasted bread?”
Finn flipped him the finger from the other side of the room while Ben sat down beside Molly and passed the plate of bacon around.
“Will you be going to the Harvest Festival?” Marjorie asked.
Molly nodded slowly, placing a few pieces of perfectly fried bacon on her plate. “Definitely. I’ve really missed it. My sister Addie is opening up a bookstore on Main Street, and she’s hoping to be open by the festival.”
“Oh how nice. You must be thrilled she’s back in town.”
Molly nodded. “I am. Melody’s coming back, too,” she said.
His mother clasped her hands together. He had no idea what she was so excited about now. “It’s like a ready-made bridal party.”
He ducked his head. “Mom, later with all this.”
“I think that’s perfect. At least you won’t have to search for a best man,” his brother said, passing around the remaining platters of food.
Ben pretended to scratch his cheek with his middle finger.
“Then of course there’s the Harvest Festival Twilight Dance,” his mother said. “I used to love it when Tom and I would dance under the stars. The organizers do such a wonderful job. I won’t be able to help this year, but hopefully I’ll be well enough to attend.”
“You will,” Molly said, leaning forward and taking his mother’s hand.
His throat constricted. She’d always been so empathetic. Being a doctor was just natural for her. That feeling hit him again that something was off, and he replayed his conversation with Addie. But everything he was discovering was telling him that Molly was career-driven and didn’t want to settle down. She was here temporarily. She had a past she didn’t want to share. And the idea of marriage gave her hives. So maybe what he needed to do was stop looking at all her good qualities. Maybe he needed to back off.
...
Molly nodded, avoiding looking at Ben. The Harvest Festival was a long-standing Shadow Creek event. Everyone in town and the neighboring communities came out every year. The downtown core hosted a parade, the stores had sidewalk sales, and in the town park there was a host of children’s games and crafts, a pumpkin pie contest, and in the evening there was the starlight dance. The last time she’d attended, Ben had proposed to her.
Molly tried to take a sip of coffee to look and sound normal, but she felt too hot, too uncomfortable. She couldn’t look at Ben because she knew he must be thinking the same thing. It was like yesterday. She could still see his handsome face, see him in the quiet corner he’d brought her to. She blinked, staring into her mug, trying to get the memory of them out of her head. They were different people.
“You can’t live in this town and not go to that,” Finn said. She was grateful for the interruption.
They sat and talked and Molly felt just as part of the family as she always had.
“Why don’t you two keep chatting? Finn said he wants to clean up. I can supervise,” Ben said, standing. Molly glanced up at him, her stomach swirling at the warm look he gave her. He was pretty good at pretending they were in love. She was even falling for it.
“Are you tired? I can help you up to your room if you’d like some rest. Don’t feel like you need to stay awake because I’m here,” Molly said to Marjorie.
“Are you kidding? I’ve been so bored. And I mean, I’m blessed to have such wonderful sons, but they are driving me insane. It’s nice to have someone else to speak to.”
“We can hear you,” Ben called out.
Molly smiled. “Well, I’m so happy we had this time to chat, too. You look great.”
“I must say you’re looking quite well yourself. I hope that means my son is treating you well,” she said, taking a sip of coffee.
Molly tried not to blush like a teenager. “He is.” She immediately thought about how he’d held her after her nightmare. How he’d sat and talked to her and fed her. Then, this morning, how he’d made a point of running with her…even though he wasn’t supposed to run. Or how he’d gently cleaned out her scrapes and bandaged her up, all the while hiding how much pain he was really in. Could he actually not be hating her anymore? “Why don’t I put those flowers we brought in a vase?”
Marjorie shot her a knowing look but smiled. “That would be lovely. And Molly, would you mind taking out a stack of my cloth napkins? They are in the dining room, in one of the drawers of the buffet cabinet. I can’t handle these awful napkins.”
Molly laughed. “Not a problem,” she said, removing all the Luigi’s Pizza napkins.
She passed by the cooking area to see Ben leaning against the counter telling Finn he’d missed a spot on the frying pan. She smiled as she entered the dining room, surprised by how very little had changed in this room. Marjorie’s large hutch with glass doors still housed her prized china from her grandmother. The great dining room table was polished and gleaming. She walked over to the buffet and paused before opening the drawer, her gaze lingering on the family photos. Her eyes misted over as she spotted the ones with Ben and Finn’s father. He’d been smiling or laughing in all the pictures. His sons had his smile and easy-going nature. Oh, how they must miss him. They’d had the perfect family. While hers had seemed perfect on the outside, no one ever had that easy laugh. Her father had never seemed truly happy.
She found the napkins, and as she shut the drawer, she spotted a picture of her and Ben. He’d been giving her a piggy-back at the Harvest Festival. Her hair was blowing in the wind behind her, and she’d been laughing. So had Ben. She blinked back tears, unable to move or breathe. Who was that girl? She barely recognized herself. She was so young, so happy.
The girl in that picture had thought her best days were ahead of her. The girl in that picture had been treasured. The girl in that picture hadn’t been a victim. She hadn’t been a mother without a child.
The weight of everything she’d been through these last years grabbed hold of her and she couldn’t move. The present started receding, and a cold sweat broke out as she tried desperately to cling to the sound of water and dishes being washed, the smell of coffee, the moment she was in. But she wanted out of the moment, out of the present, out of the past, out of her skin. She started wringing her hands, and her breath was shallow. She tried counting backward, but it only made the pounding of her heart more painful.
She thought she heard someone call her name, but she didn’t know who. She didn’t want to be this Molly. She wanted to be the Molly in the picture. She gasped as someone touched her shoulder.
“Molly?” Ben said.
She focused on his face. He had a deep line in his forehead. His eyes looked worried. He wasn’t smiling.
“Molly, breathe.”
His voice was firm but gentle.
“Molly, breathe.”
She inhaled. She counted backward. She did it again, concentrating on what his hands felt like on her shoulders. She stared at his shoulder. She forgot the past. But she didn’t forget him. She walked forward and into him, knowing he wouldn’t reject her. She breathed, a long, deep breath that hissed out of her, taking with it the panic.
“You’re okay,” he whispered against her hair.
She closed her eyes and listened to the soothing sound of his strong heart, to his voice as he whispered the same thing, his lips brushing against her head. She held on, for minutes, wondering how she could have ever left him. How she could have ever trusted that her mother knew what was best. Ben would have helped her. She knew that now. It was too late, but she knew in her heart that she’d trusted the wrong person.