Chapter 20
Jade
“It’s not a secret if three people know it.”
~ Nora O’Sullivan
I bit the inside of my lip as I tried not to make it completely obvious that I was watching Hayden and Camilla who’d been huddled together in the corner since he finished giving the most heartwarming, yet heartbreaking speech I’d ever heard.
He’d been nervous about giving a speech. He didn’t like public speaking, which might be true, but he was great at it. The entire room had been captivated. He was articulate and funny as he talked about his time in the Army. Raw and real when he described his last mission and the aftermath. And brave and honest as he spoke about his rehabilitation, PTSD, and assimilating back into a civilian lifestyle.
I’d never seen that side of him before. The vulnerable side. He was always so strong. Capable. Invincible. Sometimes I forgot that he was just a man. He was flesh and blood with emotions, fears, and his heart broke, too. Watching his hands shake as he spoke had sparked every nurturing impulse I never knew I had in my body. All I wanted to do was throw my arms around him but I couldn’t because Camilla beat me to it.
Did being jealous over a woman who’d lost her twin brother make me a Petty Betty? Sure. Did that stop me? Nope.
Even though it was ridiculous, and I knew it was ridiculous, seeing the two of them deep in conversation was like a sucker punch to my gut. It hit me like a slap in the face that, from the time we’d gotten together, I’d never seen him show interest in another female. He wasn’t the guy that flirted with everyone. He was quiet. He had friends that were girls, of course, but he didn’t have long heart-to-hearts with them.
Not that I thought he was interested in Camilla.
Why wouldn’t he be? a nagging voice piped up in the back of my head.
She was the total package.
She wasn’t just beautiful, in person, she was a doll. Sweet and engaging. And she was successful. I’d followed her music career and seen all of her reality shows. I’d watched every episode of Center Stage, Curtain Call, and The Lights of Broadway. She was talented, funny, and smart. And they had a bond that no one else had. They both had loved and lost Corey.
My stomach felt hollow as I glanced their way again. She was laughing as tears fell down her cheeks and he pulled her into a hug.
Anger rose up in me at my stupidity. I’d been on a date with an amazing guy last night and all I’d thought about was Hayden. Why couldn’t I be interested in Brent? Why did I still have to be hung up on my ex who was currently in the arms of a Tony and Grammy winner?
After getting home from last night’s date I was more confused than ever, but I did know one thing: Hayden and I needed to talk. I hadn’t wanted to bother him before the opening but I’d hoped that we could talk after. Now I wasn’t sure if that was going to happen.
“Oh my gosh!” Bella exclaimed as she rushed up to me, her blue eyes wide. “Hayden’s speech was amazing.”
“I know.”
“I think I just heard him talk more in the last half hour than I have in all the years I’ve known him.”
I chuckled. That was probably true for a lot of people in this room.
“Did you know that he knew Camilla Anderson? Sadie flipped when she saw her. She’s a huge Center Stage fan.”
“No. I don’t think that he did either. I mean, he knew that Camilla was Corey’s sister but I don’t think he had any idea that she was famous. He seemed surprised that I knew who she was.”
Both Bella and I looked over to where the two of them stood still huddled together.
“She’s even prettier in real life than she is on TV.” Bella’s innocent comment hit me like another sucker punch.
“Yep. She is.”
“Oh,” she clapped her hands and turned to me. “How did it go with the matchmaker hookup last night? I was so busy at the shop earlier that I forgot to ask you.”
“Have you heard of Brent Pearce?”
Her head tilted. “I don’t think so. Should I have?”
“He’s one of Dallas’s five most eligible millionaires under thirty.”
Her forehead creased. “There’s more than one eligible millionaire in Dallas under thirty?”
“Apparently.”
“And he was your date?”
“Yes, he was and do you remember me telling you about Hot Tie-Guy?”
She snapped her fingers. “The guy in the elevator?”
“It was Brent.”
“Shut up!” she slapped my arm playfully.
“He owns the network that Vanessa’s podcast is on and after meeting me in the elevator he contacted the matchmaker that they set me up with.”
“He rigged the date?”
“He says he just threw his hat in the ring.”
“That’s so romantic. So…? Was he as hot as you remember? Are you going to see him again?”
“Yes, and…I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“He asked if we could get together again for dinner next week, but I told him I was busy. Then he asked if I’d be his date for the gala but I told him I was working.”
“Wait.” She lifted her hand. “You don’t want to see him again?!”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged.
Bella was shaking her head back and forth in disbelief when Colton appeared, holding his hand out. “May I have this dance, wife?”
She practically swooned as she took his hand. “Yes, you can, husband.”
I watched as two of my oldest friends walked to the dance floor in the center of the warehouse where there was about twenty people dancing to “Strawberry Wine.” Colton pulled Bella into his arms and she closed her eyes as she leaned against his chest and exhaled.
Beside them, Hayden’s parents were dancing a waltz. Just like my own parents, Sheriff and Mrs. Reed had always been a couple that I’d looked up to. I watched as Sheriff Reed’s hands dipped much lower than his wife’s waist and she swatted his arm. It was adorable that he couldn’t keep his hands off his wife even after being married for over forty years.
That was what I wanted. I wanted to exhale. I wanted a man that couldn’t keep his hands off of me after forty years of marriage.
The question was, what was I willing to risk to have it?
“This is incredible, Sweet Tea.” My dad called me by the nickname he’d given me when we’d moved to Texas.
“Thanks.” I hugged him and he kissed my forehead, the way that had always made me feel safe and secure.
“So how’s the dating program you’re on going?” He crossed his arms and puffed his chest out, the same way he did when he talked about opening the front door to dates carrying his rifle when I was a teenager.
“It’s not a dating program. I’m dating guys and then going on Vanessa’s podcast to talk about it.”
“Right. A dating program,” he reiterated.
If I wasn’t so exhausted I would correct him again, but right now I just didn’t have the energy. “It’s going fine.”
His chin dipped and he gave me the same look he used to give me when I’d tell him that school was fine, or my day was fine. He’d always been the dad that wanted details. He wanted to know what was going on in his kids’ lives.
My eyes scanned the room once again and I saw that Hayden and Camilla were still deep in conversation. I sighed and turned back to my dad. “The first guy was a total joke. He was obnoxious and cocky. We didn’t even make it to dinner. The second guy was sweet but was about as bright as a Christmas tree with no lights. Then I went out with a podiatrist, who was smart but collected flags, had food allergies, and filled me with more knowledge of the foot than I ever planned on having. Last week I tried speed dating…” I paused as I remembered how my heart had slammed into my chest when I’d seen Hayden walk in the room. “And it was fine, but there were no love connections.” I lied so hard I was shocked my pants weren’t catching fire.
Lying to my parents used to be second nature to me. I’d lived my childhood and teenage years having no qualms whatsoever of fibbing to my mom and dad. There’d never been even the slightest tinge of guilt. I rationalized it by saying it was my life and therefore my prerogative to give them the version of it that they wanted to hear.
Did they want to know I smoked my first cigarette at twelve?
Probably not.
Did they want to know that I let Bentley Calhoun feel me up in the science room equipment closet in the eighth grade on a dare?
I didn’t think so.
Did they want to know that I cheated on every exam in precalculus junior year?
Doubtful.
I hadn’t had a moral issue with telling my parents a version of the truth or omitting things entirely when I lived under their roof. But as an adult, half-truths or flat out lies didn’t sit well with me.
“So you haven’t met your fish yet?” My mom and dad both called each other “fish” as a term of endearment. They said that there might be plenty of fish in the sea, but only one that they wanted to spend their life swimming with.
“Nope.” I hoped my nose didn’t grow as my eyes shot back to my fish.
“Hayden sure gave one helluva good talk.”
“He did.” He was still talking with Camilla, but they were now joined by Mayor Bradley and Tammy Lynn.
“You know when he moved home, I sure thought the two of you were gonna get back together.”
So did I, I thought, before the words that my dad just spoke sank in. When they did I whipped my head back to look at him. “Back together?”
“Oh come on, Sweet Tea. Did you really think I didn’t know what was going on between you two you?”
“You did?”
“Of course I did. You’re my baby. I always knew what you were up to. Sneaking out of your window and runnin’ over to his house. Meeting up with him at the river or the cinema. Kissin’ out behind the garage. I knew he was your fella.”
“Did mama know?”
“Oh, no.” He shook his head. “No, no, no. She wouldn’t have liked that at all. And don’t you dare tell her that I knew. She’ll be all hepped up. That’s the last thing I need to be dealin’ with.”
“Why didn’t you tell her? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Come here to me.”
I knew this was going to be heartfelt when my dad started it off with an old Irish phrase I’d never understood since you only said it to people that you were already in close proximity with.
“I liked Hayden. He was always a good boy. Not like those eejit Calhoun boys.”
My dad had never been a fan of the Calhoun boys…and he didn’t even know about Bentley getting to second base.
“I figured you could do a lot worse. He never acted a maggot. And I knew how you felt about him. You always had a glad eye for that boy. Plus, you’ve always had a mind of your own. Your mama always wanted to keep you under her thumb, but I trusted you. I knew that you would do what was best for ya.”
“Thank you.” I hugged my dad tightly.
He’d put more trust in me than I did.
Would I do what was best for me?
Did I even know what that was?