Chapter 8
Hayden
“Timing isn’t everything, but it isn’t nothin’ either.”
~ Nora O’Sullivan
“Thank you so much for dinner, Mrs. O’Sullivan, and for the leftovers.” I lifted the plate that was covered in tinfoil.
My parents hadn’t stayed for dessert because my father was tired, but I had. Jade might not be happy about the fact that I was still here or that she’d been bullied into helping me, but I didn’t let that stop me from taking advantage of both situations. So when she’d announced that she was heading out, I took my cue and did the same.
“Oh, it was my pleasure.” Nora patted me on my cheek, the same way she’d been doing since I was ten and shorter than her five-foot-two frame. Now she had to lift up on her tiptoes to reach my face. “We sure love having you back in town.”
I heard a very distinguishable huff behind me, indicating that Jade did not share her mother’s sentiment.
“You need to come by and visit more often,” Mrs. O’Sullivan said as she pointed her finger at me.
“Yes, ma’am.”
I made my way out the door and noticed that Jade’s Jeep wasn’t in the driveway. “Did you walk here?” I asked as I turned back to face her.
She glared at me for a moment before wrapping her arms around her mom. “Thanks for dinner, Mo—”
Her mother gripped her upper arms and pushed her back. “Jade Elise, did you walk here?”
Irritation was coming off of her in waves as she answered her mom through clenched teeth. “Yes. It’s a nice night.”
Mrs. O’Sullivan’s jaw ticked as the finger that had been directed at me now turned on her daughter. “Now you know I don’t like you walking home in the dark.”
“This is Wishing Well, Mama. I’m fine.”
“I can give you a ride,” I offered, like the good Southern gentleman I was.
“No!” she snapped. “I said, I’m fine.”
“I don’t mind.” I knew that every word that came out of my mouth was adding fuel to the already blazing fireball of burning dislike she had for me, but I forged ahead anyway.
“I like to walk.” Her tone was downright murderous.
Mrs. O’Sullivan placed her hands on her hips. “Either you let Hayden take you home or I’m going to have your daddy do it and you know how much he hates missing his shows.” She raised her voice. “Don’t you hate missing your shows, Rowan?”
“Who’s missing shows?” Mr. O’Sullivan called out from the recliner that he’d planted himself in right after dessert.
“No one, Papa.”
Jade’s nostrils flared as she inhaled slowly through her nose. “Fine. He can take me home.”
Mrs. O’Sullivan’s rounded cheeks grew even wider as she grinned from ear to ear. “Lovely.”
We walked out to my truck, Mrs. O’Sullivan talking up Jade’s party planning and social media expertise the whole way. I listened but she didn’t need to sell me. I knew that anything Jade did she did well. She was too competitive to be mediocre. And I would take any excuse to spend time with Jade.
I set the leftovers on the roof so I could open the passenger side door. Ranger immediately jumped in and sat in the center of the bench seat. I offered my other hand to help Jade up but she didn’t take it. Instead, she grabbed the handle on the side of the door and stepped up, contorting her body in an effort not to brush against me. As she situated herself it was clear by the expression on her beautiful face that she was not happy about this.
She stared straight ahead. “Real proud of yourself, aren’t you.”
“Yep.” I shut the door and grabbed the plate, thanking Mrs. O’Sullivan once more for the evening before climbing inside the cab.
I started the engine and put the gearshift in reverse as Ranger plopped down and rested his head in Jade’s lap. She waved to her mom who was back on the porch blowing us kisses. Turning to my right, I placed my hand on the back of the seat as I looked over my shoulder and started backing out of the driveway. My thumb inadvertently touched Jade’s bare shoulder as I did.
I froze. She froze. There were several seconds where we were skin to skin. I knew that the electricity I felt was not real. There was not actually a lightning bolt sparking between us. But it felt real. For a few, precious moments we were connected. I was sure she felt it, too. Not only because of the sharp intake of breath that she took the second my thumb made contact with her, but also from the tremble that I felt beneath my touch.
As fast as it happened, it was over. She tugged her shoulder away and stared out the passenger side window. When she did, her hair brushed against my knuckles and it was just as soft as I remembered it. I closed my eyes for a brief moment and let the sensation sink into my soul before I continued to back out.
We drove in silence and I thought about all the things I wanted to say to her, but I knew that if I tried to say anything she would shut me down.
That made it all the more surprising when she broke the silence.
“Did you get Ranger because you needed a service animal?”
My heart thumped wildly in my chest. Sure, it was just one question. But it felt like a crack in the walls that she’d erected around herself.
“Yes and no. He wasn’t a service animal when I rescued him. But I saw a photo of him and read that he’d been found in an abandoned house. He was malnourished and had a broken leg.”
“What?!” She looked toward me as I pulled away from the house. “Aww, poor baby.”
Jade kissed Ranger’s head and he was eating up the attention. He sighed loudly and closed his eyes in complete contentment.
“So, I didn’t get him as an emotional support dog, but that’s kind of what he turned into. I felt calmer when he was around and my therapist—”
“You have a therapist?” She straightened back up and turned her head toward me.
I nodded.
“And you actually talk to them?”
“I do.” I knew that she was being serious but I smiled at her question. “Anyway, she said that a lot of people with PTSD used service dogs. So, I looked into what it would take to get Ranger certified and started training him.”
“Has he helped? With your PTSD?”
I took a deep breath. I wasn’t used to talking to people about my condition. But this wasn’t people, this was Jade. “Ranger gave me my life back. It had gotten so bad that unless I was working, I just stayed in my house. Going out, even to the grocery store, was getting more and more difficult. Sometimes I couldn’t even make myself go. I never knew when an episode was going to hit. But now, if that happens, Ranger senses it right from the start. He presses against me and I can’t tell you how it works, but he brings me back from the dark place my brain goes to. He blocks the panic.”
As I sang his praises, Ranger snored loudly. Both Jade and I chuckled and she said, “It must be a hard job. He’s exhausted.”
The drive to her house was short and I pulled down her long driveway and parked beneath a large oak tree that grew beside her porch. I expected her to spring out of the truck like a Jack in the Box.
Instead, she remained where she was, looking down at Ranger she reached out and started petting large head.
“So is that why you came home? The PTSD?”
I was quiet for a minute, not sure how to answer her. I could say yes, but that wouldn’t be the entire truth.
“My last tour went badly. Everything went sideways. Our objective was compromised and my platoon came under heavy fire. I knew something wasn’t right before the shooting ever started. Everything was too quiet. Too calm. My gut told me that we needed to fall back until reinforcements came or abort all together. I called out the orders but Crawford didn’t retreat. He didn’t hear me or…I don’t know….I’m not sure.”
“Crawford?”
“Corey Crawford. We went through basic together and graduated from ranger school within six months of each other. He was my second in command, the platoon sergeant. He was as much my brother as Hudson or Holden.” My chest tightened. I’d barely even spoken to my therapist about Corey. I tried, but I couldn’t. It was just too painful.
“What happened?” Jade’s voice was quiet and soothing.
“He was in front at point and out of nowhere bullets started flying. Bombs started going off. He was hit and when he fell down he landed on an IED. I dragged his body back behind cover and held him as he struggled to breathe. It took hours for reinforcements to get there and the rest of my platoon held our position. I don’t remember the helicopter coming to pick him up but I’ve been told that I wouldn’t let him go at first. That’s when they saw that I was shot, too. I had no idea. I woke up in a hospital in the states four days later.”
Jade covered her mouth with her hand as a tear fell down her cheek. “You could have died.”
“I know. But I didn’t. And to be honest, for a while I was mad about that. It should’ve been me. I was the platoon leader. Corey was acting on my command.”
She shook her head back and forth and lowered her hand. “Don’t say that. It wasn’t your fault.”
I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is, Corey’s gone. I ended up resigning my commission. I just didn’t see the point. Plus, I’d been having nightmares and anxiety so bad that I thought I was having a heart attack.”
We sat in silence for a few beats before Jade leaned over Ranger and threw her arms around my neck. I was so stunned by the gesture that it took me a second to wrap my arms around her. I held her tightly, and holding her against me just felt so right. Like I could breathe for the first time in a long time.
I could feel her tears against my neck as she whispered, “Thank you for not dying.”
Then she did what I’d expected her to do initially. She popped out of the truck like she was a snake in one those novelty cans that my brothers and I used to use to prank each other.
Ranger lifted his head in confusion as the door shut and then he looked back at me as if to ask, What did you do?
“Nothing. I didn’t do anything.” I answered defensively.
As I drove away, I felt like I’d just been through the ringer, but it was worth it. I knew that things weren’t right between us, but they were closer to the side of right than they were this morning. And I’d take that.