Chapter 5

Lilli

The way my lips were stuck together was the first reminder that I was in the midst of a really good hangover. I stuck my tongue out through my dried lips and slowly parted them as I licked the skin. This was the part of drinking that I didn’t like, but it was also the part I conveniently forgot about whenever I was out with my friends.

“I’m never going to drink again,” I muttered as I rolled over to grab my phone.

Unfortunately, my phone wasn’t on my nightstand, so instead, my hand dipped right into a cup of liquid. I peeked through one half closed eye as I noticed there was a cup of orange juice sitting next to my bed with a sign in front of it.

-DRINK ME — the small piece of paper read. My eyes darted back and forth as I searched my memory for what had happened the night before and who had written the note. My parents were out of town for the week; I remembered that much.

I pressed the palms of my hands against my eyes as I tried to remember what had happened. My feet dangled near the ground as I rolled all the way over and pressed my body upward. The more I tried to remember, the bigger the sinking feeling in my stomach got.

-TAKE ME — I read on a second note with two Tylenol on top of it. I looked over the pills and verified they both had the familiar Tylenol logo on them and then decided it was a good idea to take them with the orange juice that was there. My mind was starting to wake up, and bits and pieces of my night were rushing to me.

I knew who had left the orange juice for me.

Quickly, I jumped up and pressed the blue curtain open as I looked over toward Devin’s house. His car wasn’t in the driveway, though. As I stood there in my bra and underwear, the bulk of my evening came to my mind.

The embarrassment was rapid as I sat down on my bed and dialed Anna’s number right away. She wasn’t going to be much support in the matter, but at least she could help me figure out how I should handle things from this point forward.

“Why are you calling me? You know I need like twelve hours of sleep each day,” she said grumpily.

“I woke up in my underwear, in my bed, and Devin left me an orange juice and Tylenol.”

“Who’s Devin?”

“The hot neighbor guy!” I screamed into the phone. “The hot neighbor guy had to help me get into my house because I’d forgotten my key, and I basically accosted him, and he did nothing. Instead, he left me some juice and medicine for my hangover. Oh, my God, I’m going to die of embarrassment.”

“I hear you talking, but my brain is not working. So the hot neighbor guy, Devin, was in your bedroom?”

“Ugh! Anna. You don’t understand. I basically threw myself at him more than once, and he did nothing. More than nothing, he felt so sorry for me that he got me an orange juice and Tylenol.”

There was a long pause as I heard Anna moving around a little and hoped it meant she was waking up enough that she could actually hold a conversation with me. I took the time to grab some workout clothes and change so I could go for my run when we were done.

“How much throwing did you do?” she finally asked as I heard her drinking something in the background.

“A lot. I tried to kiss him. I grabbed his um … private area. I wrapped my arms around his neck and told him I wanted him. I think that’s it, but I’m not sure. It’s still a little fuzzy.”

“Oh, that’s all?” Anna laughed.

“There’s no coming back from this, is there? I’ve ruined it. Now he thinks I’m some lush that throws herself at any guy who happens to be nice enough to help me out when I’m drunk.”

“No, we can work with this. He’s obviously a good guy. I mean I don’t know many guys who would say no to you grabbing their cock. You were drunk, right?”

“Yes, you know I was.”

“This is good, Lilli. This is awesome. He has so much respect for you that he didn’t sleep with you. This means he’s into you.”

I wasn’t quite wrapping my brain around her logic, but it still gave me a little comfort. Embarrassing myself around Devin was becoming a thing, and I really didn’t like it. Not that my hot neighbor guy was going to be anything to me in the long run, but I just hated looking like someone I wasn’t.

“So what should I do when I see him again? Because knowing my luck, I’m going to end up seeing him, and I’ll make a total fool out of myself.”

“Hmmm, well there are two options. You could play naive like you don’t remember at all, but that means you would have let any guy help you into the house. I don’t like that plan …” she continued as if talking to herself and not me. “You’ve got to own it. Thank him for being such a gentleman, but you have to balance that with letting him know you’re still very into him.”

“Oh, that seems simple enough,” I said sarcastically. “I can hardly talk to the guy. There’s no way I can be thankful and flirt all at the same time. You’re overestimating my abilities.”

“Shut up Lilli! You can do this. But you need to be ready. It has to happen the very next time you see him. If you see him in his house, you have to go knock on the door. The very next time he lays eyes on you, you have to be ready.”

Anna sounded extremely serious, and I pictured her pacing around her room as she hatched the next step of my plan to get Devin to think of me as something more than a little girl. I was going to have to practice what to say, there was no way I could think of something off the top of my head.

“What do I say to him?”

“Hmmm … Appreciative and flirty … let me think …” her voice trailed off as I heard her in the bathroom. Anna certainly didn’t have a filter on what she did and who was on the phone while she did it.

“Maybe I could just say thank you for helping me get into my house safely?” I offered.

“No! Absolutely not. That’s boring.”

“I want to go for my run, so can we talk about this later?”

I flipped the phone onto speaker as I changed my clothes and sipped some more of the juice. My feet felt swollen as I pressed them into my running shoes and tied the laces. Anna was still quiet as she thought of what I should say.

“You have to know what you’re going to say when you see him. This is important,” she scolded me. “Touch his arm. No matter what you say, make sure to touch his arm and make eye contact with him.”

“Okay.”

“Tell him you had a dream about a sexy guy that looked just like him who brought you to the bed last night.”

“Oh, my God, no I’m not saying that.”

“Lillian Baxter, you better not waste this opportunity.”

“I’ll think of something to say while I’m out for my run, and I’ll text you. Deal?”

“Fine, but if you don’t have anything planned, then just smile and get out of his line of sight before you have to talk to him. Only until we have decided what you need to say.”

I rolled my eyes at how complex Anna was making this all. I just wanted some advice on how to handle things when I saw him next. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to manage to say anything to the guy since my embarrassment was still so raw. Most likely, I’d turn bright red when I see him and be totally unable to speak at all, which would just solidify his likely belief that I was a child and not at all in the realm of someone he’d ever be with.

“Okay, I’ll text you later. I’ve got to run a little and burn off this alcohol.”

“Later. I’m going back to bed.”

After guzzling about a liter of water, I put my sunglasses on, turned up my music and set off on a jog. The feeling of the pavement under my feet was just what I needed to push through the aftermath of my day of drinking. My muscles tightened and released as I went up the large hill at the end of our street and then turned toward the south end of the trail.

The bike path near my house went for nearly twenty miles uninterrupted. I’d never followed it more than five miles from my house, though. It ran near a small stream and then sometimes went up through a wooded area. I never felt all that safe on the trail when I was alone, so I often just chose to run on the sidewalk.

After jogging for about thirty minutes, I turned around and made my way back toward my house but couldn’t keep the jogging pace up the whole way. I started walking and stretching my arms as I made it back to my neighborhood and crossed the street only a few blocks away from my house.

A dark black Infinity car pulled up to the stop sign and honked at me. I glanced at them and smiled, but then continued walking toward my house. The sun’s glare was preventing me from seeing who was in the car, and I figured it was just someone from the neighborhood saying hello.

When the car turned the corner and pulled up slowly next to me, my heart raced as I thought about how I would escape someone if they tried to attack me. The car rolled down their window, and I saw someone lean over. I slowed down and looked into the vehicle to see if I could get a better view of who it was.

“Hi Lilli, you look like you’re feeling better,” I heard Devin say.

“Yes, I am,” I answered as my mind went absolutely blank on what I was supposed to say to him.

“Do you want a ride? You look pretty tired.”

“No thanks. Just trying to burn off what’s left of this alcohol. Um, thanks for making sure I got into bed last night.”

“Sure, it was my pleasure,” Devin said, and my heart flipped over with the excitement.

It was his pleasure! He just said that, and my brain went blank. I tried to think of something witty to reply to him with, but nothing came to mind. In fact, all I was doing was staring at him like I had something to say, yet nothing was coming out of my mouth.

“I better get going, I’m starving. I don’t think I’ve eaten since breakfast yesterday.” I laughed nervously.

“Come over to my house and have a sandwich with me,” Devin offered. “I just went grocery shopping, so I can guarantee there’s no mold on any of this stuff.” He laughed and pointed to the bags in the back of his car.

“Okay,” I decided to accept. “I’ll come over.”

“Great. I’ll see you there. I’m going to go unload this mess.”

He pulled away, and it took all my self-control not to jump up and down with excitement. I’d just agreed to come to his house and have a sandwich. I hadn’t even been as nervous or embarrassed as I thought I was going to be.

With my new level of confidence, I walked quickly up the hill toward our houses. Just before going around the corner though I lifted my arm to take a quick sniff of my armpit and was terrified at the smell. I definitely smelled like someone who needed a shower as the rich aroma of bar smoke and alcohol had penetrated every pore of my body and was coming out in the sweat.

There was no turning back now, though, I’d already agreed, and Devin was in front of his house unloading several bags of groceries.

“I can only stay for a few minutes,” I offered as I grabbed a couple of bags and went inside with him.

“That’s fine. I’ll make the sandwiches right now. Go ahead and have a seat, this shouldn’t take too long.”

As I made my way through his sparsely furnished house, I couldn’t help noticing the lack of lived-in feeling I got. None of the furniture looked worn out at all. In fact, it all looked brand new without a tear or scratch on it.

Devin’s taste was clearly modern by the new age coffee table he had that was on wheels and the sleek design of the modern couches. I fell onto the large couch and took in the sights of his living room.

“How long have you lived here?” I asked.

“Not too long. But long enough to know you don’t normally live here,” he said from the kitchen.

“I’m coming in there; I don’t like yelling from here,” I said as I found a spot on the counter and pulled myself up onto it.

Instantly, I remembered Devin putting me onto the car the night before. My hands had pulled him toward me, and I remember feeling how hard he was. His excitement was like a compliment to me though, and even though I was intoxicated then, I still really liked knowing how excited I’d gotten him.

“Make yourself at home.” He laughed.

He ran his fingers through his hair as his eyes looked down at my legs and then back up to my eyes. I felt the heat between us and the sexual undertone that was just beyond his gaze. My chest started to feel hot as he brushed past me and grabbed the bread from the counter.

“Want help with that?” I offered.

“I can manage a sandwich. I’ll enlist you for help once I get down to cooking.”

Okay, wow, was that a subtle way of saying that he was going to invite me over sometime and cook a meal for me? This was good; this was really good.

“Thanks again for the last night,” I said in my most seductive voice.

“You remember last night?” he asked as he took a step closer to me.

“Yes.”

“Do you remember everything about last night?”

My face flushed as his eyes gazed deep into mine. Oh yes, I remembered it all. I wasn’t going to admit that to him, though. No matter what Anna had said, I couldn’t look him in the eyes and flirt when I was totally sober; I just couldn’t do it.

“I think I remember enough to be sufficiently embarrassed.” I giggled and looked away from him.

He reached for my chin and lifted it up so our eyes were only a few inches away from each other. The touch of his fingers sent warmth billowing through my body. I couldn’t look away because of how his fingers were just below my chin, but I did my best not to make eye contact as I looked at his lips instead.

“I remember as well,” he said confidently.

Even though he was only inches away from me, Devin was only touching my chin and nothing else. He could have placed his hands on my legs; he could have been much more forceful with his seduction, but he chose to keep a slight distance.

“Oh, God, I’m going to die,” I said softly as he held onto my chin, and I finally let our eyes meet again. “Please just forget everything that happened. That wasn’t me. It was the alcohol.”

“I think it’s impossible for me to forget everything,” he said with a mischievous smile. “But I remember the wild days of partying. Why are you drinking and partying so much? Just because of your boyfriend breakup?”

I searched my mind as I tried to remember if I had actually told him about my boyfriend. There was no memory that rushed to the front, but I figured I must have said something about the whole thing.

“I’m not some lush. I still work, and I’ve never missed a day at my job,” I said defensively.

“I’m not saying it’s bad. There’s a time and place for partying, and it’s probably exactly where you are in your life.”

“You don’t like to go drinking with your buddies?” I asked as he took a step away from me.

“Most of my friends are old and married now.” He laughed and went back to making our sandwiches. “But I do still go out with my coworkers occasionally.”

It was the perfect opportunity for me to ask him questions and try to figure out more about the guy. He was a huge mystery, and I’d played so many possibilities in my mind that I couldn’t wait to hear about what he actually did for work.

“So what is it that you and your coworkers do for work?”

“It’s a boring job. Trust me; you wouldn’t be interested at all. How about you? I’ve seen you wearing a uniform; are you a nurse?”

“No, I’m like a nurse’s assistant. I do twice the work for half the pay.” I laughed.

“Do you like it?”

“No.”

“Then why are you doing it?” he said as he handed me my sandwich and jumped up on the counter next to me.

“I’m an adult. I need a job. Nothing deeper than that going on here.”

Devin ate his sandwich but seemed just about to say something a couple times as we sat there in an awkward silence. Even though I felt extremely awkward around Devin, I did have the feeling that my bright red face was calming down, and I might actually be making sense as we had our conversation. And even with the awkwardness, there was a sense of calmness between Devin and I that I hadn’t expected.

“You seem like a responsible young lady,” Devin finally said.

“I am.”

His phone started to ring, and relief washed over me as the attention was taken away from me for a moment. He hopped off the counter and pulled his phone out. Devin’s face scrunched up like he didn’t want to talk to whoever was calling, but he answered the phone anyways.

I heard the screaming voice of a woman on the other end of the line but couldn’t quite make out what she was saying. Devin remained calm and smiled as he took a few steps away from me, probably in the hopes that I wouldn’t hear what was happening on the other end of the line, but I could still hear the loud yelling that was going on.

“Ashley, I can’t understand you if you’re screaming like this,” he said calmly to the woman.

The passion coming from the other woman just made me smile. They had clearly dated or been in love at some point; no woman got that upset with a man if she hadn’t loved him. Devin remained calm and let the woman yell and go on for nearly five minutes before he was able to finally get a word in.

“I actually have a friend at my house right now, Ashley; could I call you back in a little bit? Can I call your parents and make sure you get home alright?”

The woman yelled for another minute, and Devin covered the phone and mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry. Just a second,’ as he tried to get another word in edgewise as the upset woman continued to yell.

“Ashley, we’ve been separated for nearly seven years. I actually don’t think you have a say in who I have over to my house. I’m going to give your parents a call, and I hope you feel better soon.”

He hung up the phone and then came over to me. A look of exhaustion covered his face, and I realized I was in the middle of a big drama in his life. It felt like a special window into who Devin really was, and I imagined that not many women got to see this side of him.

“It’s okay, take care of your life. I should get going.”

“No, please stay,” he said as his hand wrapped around mine, and my heart stopped working. “I just need to make one more quick call. Please eat your sandwich, and I’ll be right back.”

I froze in place and was definitely not going anywhere as he walked into the other room to make his call. My breathing stopped, and I stared at the spot on my arm that he had just touched. The warmth of his skin against mine was still there, and I smiled at the thought of him wanting me to stay there so we could talk more.

“Mrs. Edwards, this is Devin. I got another call from Ashley, and I could hardly understand her. If you could check on her and get back to me, I’d really appreciate it. And if there is anything I can help with, please don’t hesitate to call me.”

Devin slid his phone back into his pocket and walked straight over to where I was sitting. This time, he let his hand rest on my thigh as he stood next to me, and I could hardly think as he talked, and I tried to answer appropriately.

“Sorry about that. My daughter’s mother is having a hard time. I’m not sure what is going on. They kind of keep me out of the loop.”

“You’re a dad?” I asked.

It surprised me because I’d never seen his daughter coming or going from his house. Although, I admittedly wasn’t watching his house 24 hours a day. Devin also didn’t really seem like the fatherly type. He was way too hot and certainly nothing like any dad I’d ever seen … except maybe that hot hunk that Anna had a crush on.

“I’m not a good dad, but yes I’m a dad.”

“You seem pretty good if you were willing to listen to that yelling for the last ten minutes.” I laughed.

“Sorry, Ashley is a wild one, but I used to be wild too,” he said as he crinkled his nose and squeezed my thigh a little. “Probably even wilder than you were last night.” He winked and grabbed his sandwich.

As he leaned against the opposite counter from me, I couldn’t help laughing at how absurd I had been the night before. I’d basically invited this man into my bed before I knew a single thing about him. The interesting thing was, I’d invite him into my bed again if given the opportunity. Yet, I didn’t have the nerve to say such a thing to him while I was totally sober.

“It’s nice that you’re trying to help your ex. What’s your daughter’s name?”

“Izzy, she’s ten years old.”

“Do you have any pictures?” I asked.

His face went from happy to sad in a split second, and I quickly realized that I had hit a very sore spot. Devin paused for a long time and seemed to be searching his mind to remember if he did have any pictures of his daughter.

“Actually, I’ve only got this one,” he said and pulled his phone out and scrolled through some messages until he finally found what he was looking for. “It was her seventh birthday. I flew in to give her that present. I visit her every year on her birthday, but I don’t think I took any other photos the last few years.”

“Where does she live?”

“Florida. Her mother and grandparents live out there. I think we should change the subject, though. This is a little raw for me right now.”

“Of course, of course,” I said relieved he had offered the change, and I didn’t have to.

But now I had absolutely no idea what to say to him as we stood in his kitchen finishing our sandwiches. It seemed like a good time for me to make my exit though as I remembered Anna’s advice and how I shouldn’t have even been talking to him without my plan in place.

“Actually, I should get going,” I added. “I’ve got to shower and get ready for work.”

“Oh, okay. It was nice talking to you again.”

“You too. I hope everything works out with your ex. You seem totally able to handle things, though.” I laughed and awkwardly started to walk toward the door. “I mean you seemed cool and controlled while she was upset. Um, I mean, you know. You’re cool. Crap, okay, I’m going to go,” I finally muttered as I made my way to the front door and fumbled with the lock.

It was unlocked, but as I pulled on the door, it didn’t open, so I flipped the lock, and of course, it still didn’t open.

“It’s a tough door to open,” Devin said from behind me as he reached around, unlocked the door and pulled it open.

His breath was only inches from my neck, and my knees actually went weak at the sound of his voice. I gripped the side of the door and leaned on it as he pulled it away and then nearly fell right into his arms because of my clumsiness.

“Um, okay. Well, I’m going to go before I end up knocking you to the ground.” I laughed.

“Enjoy your day Lilli,” Devin said as he stood in the doorway.

“You too. See you around,” I said without turning around.

I had managed to remain pretty cool and collect right up until that last few minutes. It was the best I could do, and despite being totally embarrassed, I was actually proud of myself. I’d managed a decent conversation with the man and even learned a little bit about who he was. Devin seemed like a pretty good guy and much kinder than I’d expected him to be.