Chapter 33

Jesse

Jesse knew that her career was likely being flushed down the toilet even as she existed, but somehow she couldn’t care about any of that as she was walking down the street, Hal at her side. And especially not when her hand was clasped tightly in his.

People looked at them, of course, but Hal seemed not to care at all. He kept his usual relaxed, confident air about him as he allowed Jesse to direct him to a nearby Chinese food place. Jesse was glad that she was finally going to get some food, and she was sure that would help her anxiety levels finally go down as well.

At length, they made it to the restaurant, and a hostess led them to a small table along the wall. They both perused the menu and ordered their food. The waitress looked wide-eyed at Hal as she brought out their waters, and Hal merely gave her a calm smile. When the awed waitress walked off, Jesse looked over at him.

“What?” he asked with a shrug.

“I think she recognizes you,” Jesse pointed out.

“A shame,” Hal sighed wistfully. “I don’t recognize her at all.”

Jesse rolled her eyes but couldn’t keep a smile off her face. Hal gave her a smirk and a wink.

“At least she didn’t pull out her phone and snap a picture,” he quipped, and Jesse shook her head.

Hal looked across the table at her and frowned.

“What’s wrong?” Jesse asked, concerned.

“Does it bother you to be seen with me?” Hal asked plainly, not bothering to beat around the bush.

Jesse thought about it for a moment before she answered, “Not exactly in that sense. It bothers me to know what people will think. And it’s unnerving to think that I would ever be a topic of conversation in terms of being a celebrity’s … well, I don’t know what.”

Hal nodded. The waitress returned with their food and offered both of them a nervous smile before once more scurrying to the back of the restaurant. Jesse watched her leave, and she had to admit that she could definitely sympathize with the girl.

“Well …” Hal sighed as he picked up his chopsticks. “I suppose we have two options.”

“Yeah?” Jesse asked, picking up her chopsticks as well. “And what are those?”

“Option one,” Hal held up a finger as he spoke to illustrate, “we only interact with each other in private, so nobody sees us together, and so nobody can snap any secret photographs of us.”

Jesse nodded, amused by the notion of a secret correspondence with him.

“A viable option,” she noted with a nod. “Option two?”

“Option two,” Hal went on, adding another finger to the first one. “We go out together so often that the media gets tired of seeing all the photographs of us together that they move on to the next cycle.”

Jesse had to admit that the idea was appealing to her, and she felt her face warm a little to know that he had even brought up either of those ideas. She remembered, though, her insecurities about her feelings for him. So, she decided to play it safe, even though she wished she could laugh along with him as if it was as natural as it felt.

“You’re forgetting the third option,” Jesse said, her voice somewhat soft and reluctant.

“Oh?” Hal raised his eyebrow, quickly took a bite of his food and swallowed it. “And what would that be?”

Jesse closed her eyes for a moment to steady herself.

“That we cut all this off,” she said softly. “That way we would really never be together, and there would be no opportunities for us to be photographed together.”

She looked up at Hal across the table and found him looking back at her with intensity.

“Is that what you want?” he asked her sincerely. Jesse thought she saw a hint of sadness in his eyes.

“I mean …” Jesse began to stammer and shrug. “I just don’t know if you … I mean you surely don’t want to have to deal with the rumors and speculation and everything …”

“Jess, stop,” Hal said softly but firmly. Jesse shivered at his nickname for her, and she let out a shaky breath as she looked into his steady green gaze.

“Do you want to cut this off?” he asked her slowly and carefully. “Me, you … do you want to cut it off?”

Jesse felt slightly panicked that he was asking her. She was sure that he was a man that took what he wanted. And now he was asking her if she wanted to cut ties with him. Jesse felt a horrible knot in the pit of her stomach at the very idea of cutting him out of her life now that she had almost gotten used to him.

“No,” Jesse answered before she even realized it, and she blushed violently.

She heard Hal release a soft sigh, and she could have sworn it was one of relief.

“Good,” he said, looking up at her with a small smile. “That’s not what I want either.”

Jesse felt her stomach flutter at his words, and she turned her attention back to her food, focusing on it until her plate was completely empty.

They were silent for the rest of the meal, and when they were finished, Hal paid the ticket and left a generous tip for the waitress who had been eyeing him for the majority of the night. Then, he rose and held out his hand, which Jesse was all too glad to take. He led her out of the restaurant, and Jesse began to lead them back in the direction of her apartment.

“Thank you very much for dinner,” Jesse said graciously. “I really was starving.”

“My pleasure, it was a very nice little place,” he said. “You really should try to remember to eat, though.”

“I usually do,” Jesse said, feeling a bit like a scolded child. “It’s just today I was a bit of a wreck.”

“Well, don’t worry about Elaine or that silly magazine,” Hal said with a derisive snort. “I never liked that woman, and now I actually have a good reason not to. She’s too afraid to take care of her talent.”

“Regardless …” Jesse sighed. “She’s my boss. “I’m kind of stuck doing what she says for a while.”

“Why?” Hal looked down at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Well …” Jesse faltered a little. “I mean, I work for The Edge, and she runs it, so …”

“No,” Hal shook his head. “I mean why should you stay there?”

Jesse looked up at him as if the answer should be obvious.

“I am lucky to even have a job at all,” she pointed out. “She could replace me with anyone …”

“No, she couldn’t,” Hal interrupted her. “But that’s what she wants you to think.”

Jesse was getting more than a little frustrated with her situation.

“Well, what do you think I should do?” Jesse asked as they made it back to her apartment and crossed the lobby to her elevator.

“You should quit,” he said simply.

Jesse could have sworn her heart stopped just from those words.

“Are you insane?” Jesse asked as the elevator doors slid shut.

“Well, I am a bit of a diva at times,” Hal noted with a shrug. “But no, I’m not insane. You have to demand that people treat you the way you deserve to be treated, or they will treat you any way they like.”

Jesse let his words sink in for a moment, a frown on her face.

“All that you have to do,” Hal went on, “is decide how you deserve to be treated. Do you like the way Elaine treats you or anyone in that office?”

“No,” Jesse admitted softly, moving out of the elevator as they arrived at her floor.

“Well, you can’t act on behalf of everyone that woman abuses,” Hal said, “but you can certainly act on your own behalf. Demand to be treated well, and if she can’t meet the demand, you leave. Simple as that.”

Jesse said nothing as she unlocked the door of her apartment. It was easy for him to say such bold words. He was the most sought after actor in the world. He could easily start and stop entire productions with the click of his heels. She, however, was nobody.

“Hey,” Hal said as they both walked into the apartment, and Jesse locked the door. “You’re quiet …”

“Yeah,” Jesse looked up at him and shook her head. “I mean … you can do all that … you’re Hal Roberts. But if I do that, I don’t have a pool of dollar bills to catch my fall.”

“You don’t need it,” Hal said, “but if you think you do, I would have no problem …”

“No!” Jesse said insistently. “I don’t want to just take your money.”

“See?” Hal crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “That. That right there is exactly why you don’t need a fallback. Because you have drive and integrity, and that will always keep you moving forward. I mean, come on. You didn’t want to be working at The Edge your whole life, did you?”

Jesse had to acknowledge that he made a good point. She did not imagine working at The Edge her whole life, but she hadn’t imagined leaving so soon either.

“I mean, this is your life,” Hal said, striding across the living room to sit down on one end of the couch. “You have to do what you think is best for you. I’m just letting you know that you’re worth a lot more than you let yourself believe.”

Jesse took in his words and looked at him from across the room. Her mind was whirling. She had barely even started talking to this man, and he was giving her better advice than anyone had given her in her entire life. In spite of his empowering words, though, Jesse had her reservations.

“I don’t know.” Jesse sighed as she sat down on the other end of the couch, curling her legs up beneath her. “I also feel like I owe it to Mark to stay. He’s the one that got me the job, after all …”

“I think Mark would be far more interested in your happiness than you keeping a job that you can barely tolerate.” Hal laughed lightly and gave her a soft smile.

Jesse sighed. She knew he was right.

“I guess …” she shifted a little on the couch, starting to feel a little more vulnerable than she really wanted to. “I’m also just scared.”

Hal’s expression softened, and he moved closer to her on the couch. Jesse felt a flash of heat go through her body as his long leg brushed against hers.

“I know,” he said softly. “Change can be pretty terrifying.”

Jesse could only nod. The biggest change in her life so far was sitting not three inches away from her. She looked up into Hal’s eyes, and she heard her heart pounding hard in her chest.

“Just do what you think is best,” Hal advised, his tone becoming huskier. “Then everything will turn out right …”

His voice trailed off, and Jesse found herself getting lost in his eyes as they looked down at her. They were smoldering, and she found her breath catching. Their bodies were already so close to one another, and she felt as though there was a magnetic force pulling them closer still.

“And what do you think is best?” Jesse asked breathlessly. “Not about my job … but … about us …”

“What I think …” Hal whispered and moved his face so close that she could feel his breath on her skin. “Is that I can’t think at all when I’m this close to you …”

Jesse felt Hal’s hand cup her cheek, and she felt him trace his thumb over her lower lip, and a shudder passed through her body. She had no idea how on earth their conversation had escalated to this point, but she was too caught up in the moment to analyze it.

“I’ve never met anyone like you …” Hal whispered to her and leaned his head forward to rest it against hers.

“I find that hard to believe.” Jesse laughed lightly as her head began to spin from his proximity.

“Why don’t you ever believe me?” Hal whispered into her ear, his lips brushing against the shell of her ear.

“Because … because …” Jesse stammered, overwhelmed by sensation and at a loss for words either way. “You’re … an actor …”

“Oh, I see …” Hal sighed and leaned back. “You think I’m just stringing you along for my own amusement.”

Jesse felt the mood shift, and she cursed herself for ruining the moment.

“Well, can you really blame me?” Jesse asked with a soft shrug. “You could have anyone in the world you want, and you just happen to pick this two-bit journalist who happened to push your buttons in an interview?”

“I suppose it does seem a little too good to be true,” Hal said, and she detected a bit of a sting in his words.

“And I mean, it just doesn’t make sense that someone with your status and wealth would want …” Jesse searched for words to describe herself.

“Someone smart, funny, and sweet?” Hal filled in for her. “Someone who blushes every time she gets flustered …”

Hal placed his hand on her thigh, and almost as if to prove his point, her cheeks filled with a flush of blood.

“Someone who I can’t get my mind off of—after one single kiss and too many glasses of wine …” Hal nearly growled, and Jesse gasped as he buried his face in the curve of her neck, planting a hot, open kiss to her flesh.

“Hal …” Jesse hissed out as desire surged throughout her body.

Hal’s grip tightened on her leg, and she arched off the back of the couch as he fairly devoured her. She felt his teeth drag across her flesh. Instinctively, she buried her hands in his dark auburn hair, torn between holding him closer and tearing him away. Her heart pounded in her chest and small whimpers and incoherent pleas escaped her lips. Her hands traveled all over his shoulders and back, and she was unsure of where to put them.

Soon, though, the decision was not hers to make. With a growl, Hal seized her waist and tipped her over so that she was lying down on the couch. He then seized her wrists and pinned them up above her head with one hand. Jesse felt a surge of warm wetness between her thighs at his touch and at the sound of his ragged breathing. She looked up at him with wide eyes and panted heavily as his eyes blazed into her. She saw his expression calm and his breathing regulate until he looked once more that he was in control of himself.

With his free hand, Hal cupped her cheek. He slowly lowered his head and pressed his lips against hers in a slow, deep kiss that sent wave after wave of desire rolling through her body. Hal pulled back from her, and his eyes searched her face. Slowly, he leaned back, and he gently guided Jesse back into a seated position. She saw him examine her wrists to make sure she had not bruised.

“Someone who can make me lose myself …” he whispered.

Jesse felt her heart pounding, and she clamped her legs together tightly as her sex throbbed in absolute need. She had never felt so much intense arousal at once, and one part of her feared that he would continue and the other part feared that he would stop, and she had no idea how to make those parts neutralize one another. She felt her heart slow as he pulled back, and she was finally able to catch her own breath.

“I want you, Jess,” Hal whispered urgently, his eyes bright with the strength of his words. “And not just your body. Even eating Chinese with you is enough to send me into a whole other universe. I’ve never felt anything like this before in my life …”

As he spoke, Jesse couldn’t help remembering when he had told her about his first love, and she wondered vaguely if he had said all these things to her as well. In spite of herself, she felt the prick of jealousy.

“Never?” Jesse asked with a small smile.

Hal’s expression faded, and a frown took the place of his bright smile. It seemed that he realized where he had gone wrong, and his mouth worked as he tried to come up with words to say. Jesse felt somewhat guilty for bringing up what was a painful subject, but she didn’t want him to be saying things he didn’t mean. Still, she hated that he was hurting because of her.

“I’m sorry …” Jesse shook her head. “That was underhanded; I shouldn’t have used that against you.”

“No,” Hal said firmly. “Don’t apologize … you’re right. I … I loved someone else before I knew you.”

Jesse suddenly felt very insignificant, and she wrapped her arms around herself. She felt Hal cup her chin in his hand and raise her face up so that she was looking directly at him. Just one look from him was enough to make her feel valuable and safe, and an involuntary shudder passed through her whole body.

“But that’s over now,” he said softly and urgently. “That whole part of my life is all just a sad memory to me. You … you’re my here and now … and I hope you’ll be in my future as well …”

Jesse looked back into his eyes, wishing that she had the words to say to him. She wished she could just let him care for her the way he professed. She wished she could just succumb to what both of their bodies so obviously wanted. But there was still something that was holding her back, and no matter how hard she fought it, she couldn’t manage to destroy that which she couldn’t identify.

“I hope I’ll be in your future too,” Jesse said softly. “And I … I do want this. I do. It’s just I can’t process all this so suddenly, so fast …”

Hal released her jaw, and Jesse’s face immediately dropped, and she looked down at her hands that she was wringing in her lap. She was ashamed that she couldn’t commit to him the way that he seemed to be ready to commit to her.

“Jess, look at me,” Hal said softly, and Jesse sheepishly lifted her head to meet his eyes.

“We can take this as slow as you want,” Hal said with a soft smile. “I want whatever bits of you that you are willing to give me, and nothing more. And if I ever overstep any boundaries, please, please just tell me. I don’t want to take from you. I only want to give you what you need.”

Jesse felt her heart melt at his words. She leaned forward slowly and allowed her lips to barely brush his in a chaste, sweet kiss.

“Thank you,” Jesse said. “That … makes me feel a lot better.”

“Good,” Hal smiled down at her and ran his hand along her arm in a soothing stroke.

A silence passed between them, and the atmosphere was still exceedingly heavy. Jesse could still feel her sex aching; a part of her longed for him to rip off her clothes and take her right there and another part of her craved that time that he had offered her. In the end, the latter won out, and she simply sat in her agony and tried to enjoy his company.

It seemed to her that Hal was having an equally difficult time, and Jesse nearly whimpered aloud as she caught a glimpse of a swelling in his pants. She felt another rush of wetness between her thighs and didn’t know if she was going to be able to hold out for much longer. She looked up to see that Hal had followed her line of sight and was now looking at her ravenously.

“I think I’d better go home,” Hal said roughly and moved to stand.

Jesse could only nod, and she rose as well to walk him to the door.

“Thanks again for dinner,” Jesse said meekly, feeling awkward as she stood in her doorframe.

“And thank you for your hospitality.” Hal smiled.

“You’re welcome any time,” Jesse said, mostly for the courtesy of it.

“I’ll be sure to remember that,” Hal nearly growled, and Jesse felt a bolt of hot desire pierce her abdomen.

“Have a good evening,” Jesse said in a rush, eager to get this torturous farewell over with.

“Goodnight, Jess,” Hal said, his voice husky and low. “Sweet dreams.”

Hal turned and strode down the hallway to the elevator, and Jesse hastened to shut and lock the door.

Jesse wasted no time in heading to her bedroom to take care of the pressing need between her legs.