1. – Jaxon
There was a way to feel terror and joy so strong, it sent acid in your throat and love through your veins. I knew, because I felt that way every single time I looked at Miya’s growing belly.
My monster frowned at it too. It wasn’t quite sure how we were going to raise a kid. We’d been fucked up from an early age, my monster and I, and every time we thought of being a father we both wanted to run.
She was only three months pregnant, so we still had time, but six months wasn’t long enough, we knew that for sure. A baby wasn’t a test run. We needed our shit together before they came.
“Stop staring,” Miya griped, her eyes flashing open that night.
We were in bed, back in Portland, had been for the last couple months. She was exhausted all day and night, but also alarmingly horny. She wanted to sleep, or she wanted to ride me. I grinned at her. I placed my hand on her small bump and rubbed it tenderly; if I rubbed too hard I’d hurt the baby.
I never wanted to hurt them. Ever. For any reason. But how could a man who was created in pain love something so fragile and perfect?
And then I looked at Miya’s eyes, and knew I’d done it once by loving her. I could do it again.
She placed her hand on top of mine and her eyes fluttered closed. “Go to sleep,” she mumbled tiredly. “I have to get up early for class.”
I refrained from speaking my mind—again—and sank down beside her in bed. She insisted on taking classes, said that now that she was pregnant, she had to create a nest for the baby. A solid ground for it to stand on. Whatever the hell that meant. I made enough money for all three of us. She didn’t need to start a business, and especially not right now. But she was hellbent on starting a dessert bakery. How could I deny her?
The mother of my child?
My monster broke out in hives and ignored me. Traitor, it whispered.
Fucker, I whispered back.
I slept with my hand on her stomach all night, protecting it. I had to protect it. No matter what.
In the morning, she wasn’t in bed when the alarm went off. Alarm rang through me as well, and I sat up, listening intently for any sound of her. I heard the shower running and tossed the covers aside, peering groggily through the bathroom to spy her heavy tits jiggle as she washed her hair.
They were okay. My fiancée and baby.
My monster tried to choke me.
To combat the negativity inside me, negativity I feared I'd have to deal with forever, I crawled into the shower with her and took over cleaning her body.
“Jaxon,” she whined, when I tried to dry her hair when we got out. “Seriously, all this doting is driving me crazy. I can dry my own hair.”
“Humor me,” I ordered, taking my time drying her hair. I used a towel, so it would take longer. “What would you like for breakfast?”
She didn’t answer, padding naked into the closet to get dressed.
“Chamomile tea?” I called out.
She grumbled under her breath. “Go to work.”
Work. Eight horrible hours away from her. From the baby. “There’s some peppermint tea, I think.”
“Jaxon!” She poked her head out of the closet, dressed in her bra and panties. “Stop. I can make my own tea. I appreciate it, I really do, but you’re on my nerves.”
I smiled. “Peppermint tea,” I decided for her, heading downstairs to make it, still in my towel.
I was fucking terrified.
Of her.
Of the baby.
Of us, together.
All three of us?
Me? A father? What was I fucking thinking?
I had to wonder, briefly, if that was all real. Maybe I fell and hit my head the day I was supposed to go pick Miya up before she became my submissive. Maybe we never went to my basement, maybe she never left, and maybe I had created this alternate universe where she existed, because she was what I always needed.
I always needed a woman like Miya. A strong, bright, stunning woman who combatted my weak, dark, ugly parts. I just never actually thought I’d get her. Never thought I’d hang up my Dominant lifestyle in exchange for diaper bags and pink diamond rings.
But the part that truly terrified me was that I wanted those things. I wanted her to be my wife. I wanted her to wear my ring. I wanted, from the bottom of my monster ridden soul, for her to have my child.
On what universe had I done anything that made it so I deserved those things?
I hadn’t.
But I wanted them so much.
I made her a mug of peppermint tea with honey and lemon—coffee for me—and returned upstairs to find her dressed in a chunky black sweater, and black slacks that hugged every curve on her ass. She’d put her hair in a bun and was sitting on the bed putting on some black boots.
I set her tea down on the dresser and gave her a pointed look she ignored, ducking in the closet to get dressed for work. I had a full day of clients and a sobriety meeting at seven. I wouldn’t get home until after eight. I felt sick at the thought of leaving Miya alone all day.
She was sipping her tea when I came out, and I hid my smile by rubbing a hand down my jaw.
“Smug bastard,” I heard her grumble.
My laughter rang out in the bathroom. I did my hair and brushed my teeth, heading back out to catch her heading for the stairs. I followed; everything was fine if I could see her.
“I’ll make breakfast,” she stated darkly, when I reached for the eggs. “Sit down, Jaxon, or so help me, I’ll… I’ll… spank you!” she growled.
I froze, peering at her, an unimpressed lift to my brow. “Was that supposed to scare me?”
“Did it?” she asked hopefully.
I shook my head.
She deflated and then jutted her chin out anyway. “Please sit down. Let me take care of you. I have to learn how. I’m going to be a mother.” Her eyes lit up every time she said that.
She needed the baby to heal every unloved part of her soul. I could not argue with her when she looked that damn beautiful and wanting. I kissed her. “I’ll sit.”
“Thank you.” Her cheeks turned pink and she made the kiss last a moment longer by holding on to my suit.
I sat at the bar, watching her prepare breakfast, the pink tinge in her cheeks making my cock hard. I knew I could make her cheeks pinker, and not the ones on her face. “Is it appropriate to have inappropriate thoughts about the mother of your child?” I asked.
She giggled, flashing me a delicate smile. “I think so.”
“Good. My thoughts are pretty inappropriate right now.”
“Really? Tell me.”
“I want to spank you, so your ass cheeks match the color of the ones on your face.”
Her thighs pressed together, and her teeth dug into her bottom lip. “My, that is inappropriate. You’re quite the pervert. What am I doing, falling in love with you?” She winked.
My cock twitched.
“Turn the eggs off, Miya.”
She did.
“Take your pants and your panties off.”
I waited for her to do so. She kicked her boots off, and bent facing me, showing me her ass as she took her slacks and panties off. Her sweater hung low enough when she straightened to brush the bottom of her supple ass cheeks.
She looked over her shoulder, baby blue eyes shimmering with hunger. “Now what?”
“Come to Jaxon.” I patted my lap.
She came for me. I held my hands out and she placed hers in mine. I brought her close and kissed her, tasting the peppermint and lemon on her breath. She tasted sweet and fruity, and I groaned, wanting inside her.
I spun her around in front of me. “Hold on to the bar.”
She gripped the edge of the counter. I stood up and stood behind her, palming her ass roughly. I dug my nails into her cheeks, spreading them apart so I could see her tight little asshole. I dropped to my knees. I leaned close and stroked my tongue over her hole. She moaned above me, husky and erotically. She arched her back, giving me her ass completely.
I pulled back and spanked her ass hard. She exhaled in pleasure, the way I did after going hours seeing her. In acute relief. Her pale ass turned a beautiful shade of pink. I spanked her other side, letting my hand drop roughly on her smooth pale flesh until both of her pert little cheeks were glowing the color of her diamond ring. I stood up, pulled my cock free, and then eased the dripping tip of my cock into her tight ass.
“Rub your clit as I take your ass,” I ordered. “I’m hungry.”
She laughed throatily, and her hand dipped between her thighs. I pictured her fingers rubbing her sensitive clit fast as I stretched her ass with my cock. I pumped into her. When we came, it was together. Loud, gruff, and hot.
I cleaned her up in the bathroom and then we both returned to breakfast like nothing happened. We ate together, going over the list of changes the realtor I hired to sale the house had supplied to make selling it easier. I wasn’t raising my kid in a house I’d taken submissive’s in. We’d move into the cottage mansion on the edge of the Oregon coast and raise him or her with the ocean as their playground. We would raise it without darkness.
Innocence deserved only light.