5. – Jaxon
So, some moments in life defined us.
I had many.
Most of them weren't beautiful. Most of them were downright horrible.
Some of them were worth every single second I spent in the darkness.
And then some moments healed us.
I'd started a new list. It went something like this.
1. Miyel
1. Miya
1. Mom
Letting go of my past happened one smile at a time. Each time Miyel looked at me, she reached into my heart and stuck a Band-aid over a crack with her little delicate fingers. My heart was a mess of bandages and scars. But I loved the sound of it beating strong in my chest.
I sank down to the ground, rechecking Miyel’s suitcase. Mom came in as I was doing so, gave me an exasperated sigh, and then fell into the rocking chair.
“You’re obsessed,” she noted.
Mom was beautiful. The moment she’d been free of her detoxing, Miyel was a few weeks old, and when Mom looked into her eyes, I swore I saw her soul take a deep, hopeful breath. They had the connection I wished I’d had with my mother. As long as she had it with my daughter, I’d take it. It meant I had a relationship with her, too.
“I worry,” I argued, zipping up the suitcase. “You have to make sure you have enough milk. She loves it before bedtime.”
“Jaxon,” Mom grumbled. “She’ll be fine.” She smiled up at me. “Your wedding was beautiful. It was all beautiful. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life. I know I don’t deserve it. And thank you even more for letting me take my granddaughter out for the weekend. We’re going to have a blast.”
Years of drug use had created holes in Mom’s memory. She and I rarely talked about the years she spent out on the street, and she never brought them up. It wasn’t like I didn’t have my own past. I knew how hard it was to pull that shit forward when all you wanted to do was keep it behind you.
I pushed to my feet and walked over to where she sat, rocking slowly. I bent and kissed her temple, putting my lips over my mother’s ear. “I forgive you.”
She exhaled sharply, but I didn’t say anything else. I winked at her and then left the room. Miya was chasing Miyel around the living room. The wedding mess still decorated the entire space. Pink confetti and champagne glasses. Miyel still wore her pink dress. I laughed at her bare feet and red cheeks. She’d discovered the world of walking and refused to stay still any longer.
“Daddy!” she squeaked, running into my legs.
“Oomph,” I grunted, bending to pick her up. “You’re all sweaty.”
She put her hand on my face. It was something I didn’t understand, but I loved it all the same. Every time we talked or as she fell asleep while I read Beauty and the Beast to her, she put her hand on my face unthinkingly, and her little fingers would trail, making random circles. Miya said it was because I spent a lot of time at work. I thought it was because she had a large chunk of my heart in those little fingers. I needed my heart to live.
“I’m pooped,” Miya gasped, falling onto the sofa.
I sat down with Miyel on my lap. “You’re going to be good for Grandma, right?”
She wasn’t entirely talking yet. A few words there, a few words here. She looked at me like I was talking gibberish and then started playing with the button on my black dress shirt.
Miya giggled. “Guess that’s that.” She pressed a kiss to her cheek. “We’re going to miss you.”
“Oh, brother,” Mom groaned. She reached behind the couch and grabbed up Miyel. “It’s time to go.”
My heart squeezed.
Miya bit her lip.
We hated letting her out of our sight.
We followed Mom out to her car, and I braved the brunt of her anger to strap her into her car seat. I kissed Miyel’s face all over and then whispered, “I love you,” in her ear. She touched my face and then blew a raspberry in it.
“Okay. Great. Love you, too.” I wiped off the slobber on my shirt as Miya guffawed beside me.
She was still laughing by the time they drove away. The moment they turned the corner, I let my monster come out and play.
Miya was bent over laughing, and then when she saw my face, she paused. “Oh shit,” she whispered.
“You’re my wife now.” I took a predatory step toward her.
“I’m your wife.” Her pink tongue darted out to lick her lips.
“I’m sorry we can’t have a long honeymoon together, with work and the baby, but we can make the most out of this weekend, and that’s exactly what I plan on doing.” I stood before her. My monster was in charge now. Miya was the only woman, the only soul, who braved him and won. Around her, I could be my complete and utter self. “Go into the living room and disrobe. I need a few minutes in our bedroom to set up. I’ll call you when I’m ready for you.”
Her throat bobbed. “Yes, Master,” she purred, giving me a smile that I felt all the way in my cock. “For old times’ sake.”
We needed tonight. To come together as husband and wife, dark and light—tonight would set the balance for the rest of our relationship. To be parents always, and monster and angel when we were alone. I wasn’t a man who relished in balance. But I’d also learned I wasn’t a man who was willing to lose what he had.
My wife and my daughter saved my soul from certain ruin.
Without them, I wouldn’t know what a smile felt like.
What hope felt like.
I wouldn’t know what anything felt like at all.
It amazed me as I got things ready in our bedroom how all of this came to fruition because I couldn’t get my student in Intro to Psych off my mind. She couldn’t get me off her mind. She pretended to be a submissive for me, and I’d pretended to be human for her. Love had crashed into us somewhere in the middle, along with pain and heartache. We’d crawled through hell to know even a shred if heaven.
Tonight would be our reawakening.
We’d both become roses.
When I came back out into the living room, I found her completely naked facing the open patio door on the deck. Goosebumps sprouted along her shoulder blades and on the smooth, pale globes of her ass. I’d work her tight little asshole tonight, too. I’d spend the next two days making her sore, fucked, and mine.
“Put your hands behind your back,” I ordered quietly.
Immediately, she obeyed, giving me her arms. I tied them at her wrists with silken rope the color of a deep magenta rose. I kissed her bare shoulders, pressing my chest to her back. She smelled of honey and roses; the scent of her made my mouth water. I knew in my heart that no matter how many years passed, my love for her would only grow. My hunger was never satiated. Forever wasn’t even enough to have my fill.
“Only speak when I ask you to.”
She remained still, but I knew she heard me. I knew she listened for my words the same way I yearned for hers. I worked endless hours, having grown my clients list over the years. I hired a new partner to help, but the relationships I formed with my clients wasn’t something I could fake or pawn off. I had to be there. And with Miya’s dessert shop, Master Confections, getting bigger every day, and Miyel, we needed this time together.
Just us.
Our bodies meeting; sweaty, rough, and deep.
I gathered her brown hair into my fist, and then I tugged back, baring her neck to me. I kissed down her pulse and up her jaw, biting down until she flinched. Her thighs quivered against mine and her hands dug into her soft warm, flesh.
“Tonight is going to hurt.”
Her thighs trembled harder.
“Tonight, you will come harder than you ever have. From your womb, and heart, and your beautiful soul.”
A small moan escaped her lips.
“Tonight, will we make love as husband and wife.” I found her warm, velvet lips, and kissed her until her chest was panting, and my cock was as hard as concrete. “As monster and angel.”
I took her by her arm and led her after me into our bedroom. It was set up for sweet sex, for rough sex—for a night neither one of us would ever forget.
“I love your ass in any shade, but I’d prefer it to be a deep shade of red. I want you to sit over my knee as I spank your ass until it’s tender and red.” I took everything off except my black suit pants and sat on the edge of my bed. “Come, Miya.”
She came to me, her pupils dilated with lust. I would spin her lust until it consumed her. She’d be dripping, breathing, and moaning the emotion.
I tugged her down without warning. She fell across my lap and her hands tightened around each other on her lower back. I grabbed her hips, positioning her ass so it was perfectly over my lap. My hand settled on her ass and I rubbed her, skimming over the backs of her thighs. I slid between them and stroked her pussy from behind, gauging her wetness. She was creamy with want, and so fucking hot I hissed.
“You’re so wet, my sweet angel. Tell me why.” My palm settled on her ass. I pressed down on her lower back with my other to keep her still.
“You turn me on.”
I grabbed a handful of her ass. “Why do I turn you on?”
“You feed my soul,” she said breathlessly.
I groaned, wanting to bury my cock in her tight pussy. I needed to hold off until she was crazed and sated. I wanted to make her hungry and feed her until we were gorged. “You give mine purpose.”
I dropped my hand heavily onto the globe of her ass.
“Quiet,” I snapped when she moaned deep and wanting. “Keep your pleasure inside. Show me in other ways.”
She urged her ass into my palm. I gave her what she wanted, spanking one globe until it was glowing red with my hand print. Her breathing was so loud, I could see her back rising and falling like a wave. “Do you want to cum on my fingers?”
“Yes, Master,” she moaned, her tone so husky I wanted it to fall on me.
I wasn’t her master every other day, but tonight, I was. I held her pleasure in my fist, and she had to trust me not to crush it. She had to trust me to turn it into a dark and formidable form of intense pleasure.
“I’m going to finger your tight hole with one finger only. I want your hole starving to be full. Only then will I bury my cock in you. Tell me you understand. Tell me you want it.”
She mewled, and I could hear without seeing that she was biting into her bottom lip. “I understand, Master. I understand everything.”
I wanted to kiss her bitten lips. I spread her thighs with one hand and stroked her slit with my middle finger until her mound was glistening with want. My mouth watered as I sank my finger into her searing tightness.
She. Was. So. Ready. I pumped my finger into her, making sure to circle her vaginal walls. She creamed on my finger. I pressed down on her lower back harder and fingered her pussy the same way. She came loudly, and her nails dug into her own palms.
Before she was done coming, I began spanking her on her other ass cheek. She yelped and came harder. I dropped my hand down on her heavily repeatedly. No breaks. No questions. She writhed on my lap, her entire body shaking from the pain, from the pleasure.
When we both stood, her ass was a brilliant shade of red. She wore my handprint. Her baby blue eyes fell on mine and the lust trapped in her gaze was begging to be set free.
I had to be inside her.
I grabbed her arm and pulled her close, slamming my mouth down on hers. Every kiss, every moan, and every stroke of my tongue she matched with the same hunger.
I freed my cock from my suit pants, leaving them around my hips. I grabbed her hips and lifted her up. “Open your legs.” She was in the air by my strength alone. Her hands were behind her back and her mind was in the clouds. Her pupils were as large as her irises. I guided her down onto my cock. Her heat immediately engulfed me. Wet, hot, and perfect. I wrapped my arms around her lower back and palmed her ass. She wrapped her legs around my waist, and one of her fingers found mine from behind. I pounded into her, holding her gaze as I filled her.
Her head fell back. Her dark tresses fell with her. Her silky strands brushed our conjoined fingers as I fucked my wife standing up. Her tied hands and tight pussy.
“I love you,” I hissed, pressing my forehead to hers.
“I love you more,” she promised, her tone intoxicated.
“Impossible,” I grunted, fucking her as hard as I could in our position.
She took a second to answer; her inner muscles clamped down on me, and before I knew it, she was coming all over my cock like the fucking angel she was. “Not impossible, Jaxon. So true.”
She hung limp in my arms. I reached behind and untied her arms, carrying her over to the bed. I lay her down on her back and settled between her thighs, not even close to done with her. I worked my cock in as deep as it could go. Her nails dug into my back and her teeth into her bottom lip. Our thighs slapped together; our bodies were smeared in sweat. The scent of her honey rose perfume swirled around us, mixing with her lust.
I wanted to smell it forever.
Feel it forever.
Drink it in until were forever intoxicated.
“Forever. Promise me we’ll have forever,” I grunted, staring deeply into her eyes.
She held mine boldly and offered up her soul. “Forever, Jaxon. That’s what we’ll have together.”
My orgasm felt different. Maybe it was being married. Maybe it was the deep promise in her eyes. Or maybe it was the fact that for the first time in my life, I was looking forward to tomorrow.
I was hopeful for a future I didn’t know I could have.
I needed love. All those years without it and having only pain had ruined me.
But I had it now.
I had love.
My wife.
My daughter.
My mother.
I had a future that didn’t scare me.
It healed me.
My sweet pink rose had rebloomed into a rose so red and bright, she was the owner of my soul.
And I was the thorns keeping her safe.