Thanksgiving is supposed to be relaxing, spent with family and friends, giving thanks for all the blessings of the year. Relaxing being the key word, and a word I cannot use to describe my present state of mind.
My kitchen is a mess, so much that my makeup-less-self cringes, but I can’t take the time to clean up. I have less than one hour to finish the desserts, shower, and dress before Gunner arrives to pick me up. That sneaky man… he’s making me go out of my comfort zone: changing my life and making me do things I would normally not do, like spend this day with people I’ve barely met.
This Thanksgiving was supposed to be like any other Thanksgiving—staying home with Thor, drinking coffee, doing laundry, and making a huge batch of potato soup to enjoy throughout the week.
But no, instead of my usual, relaxing Thanksgiving, I’m running around my kitchen barefoot in yoga pants, a raggedy old shirt, an apron, and my hair thrown up in a messy bun—to keep my hair out of my eyes and the food—making desserts: two dozen chocolate cupcakes filled with ganache and topped with whipped chocolate frosting, two dozen chocolate peanut butter cupcakes topped with chocolate peanut butter buttercream icing with turkey decorations (because those are Gunner’s favorite), pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and an apple pie (even though I dislike pies, pecan pie is another of Gunner’s favorites, and you can’t have Thanksgiving without apple and pumpkin something), and cheesecake stuffed strawberries (because I’m craving them, and Rylee once said she loved them).
Everything sounds delicious. I pray it turns out mouthwatering. I’m a musician, a hairstylist, and an amateur baker. It’s over ambitious of me to try this, but this is what I get for Pinteresting “Thanksgiving dessert ideas.”
And I can’t forget my huge batch of potato soup to share with Gunner and his friends. Because, darnit, I’m having my potato soup with bacon bits, sour cream, and cheddar cheese for Thanksgiving, even if I have to haul it to another town with me.
My eyes glance up at the stove clock as I take out the last of the pies; forty-five minutes before Gunner arrives. Setting down the last pie, I take a deep breath and slowly exhale, taking a moment to gather myself. Then I turn off the oven and make sure everything is off before removing my apron, folding it, and placing it inside the drawer, like I always do. In this I can be organized.
Thor drags himself on his belly, moves a few inches, looks up at me, and then moves again.
“Don’t even think about it, buddy,” I warn him, narrowing my eyes, not fooled by his innocent puppy eyes. His intentions are devious. Despite all the obedience training, Thor has a sweet tooth, something I fear—chocolate is deadly for dogs, especially small breeds—and have been trying to break him of. “Better yet, you’re coming with me.”
I bend down, pick him up, and take him with me to my bedroom. After laying him on his pillow in the corner of the room, I wag my finger at him. “I’m not taking any chances with you Houdini-ing your way onto the counter and having your way with the desserts. You’re staying put.” To emphasize my point, I close the bedroom door and lock it.
Then I run into the bathroom and get the shower ready. Shaking my hand under the water to check the temperature and gauging it’s good, I get in. For ten minutes, I let the water cascade down my body, the warmth seeping through me, relaxing my tense muscles. Mentally, I prepare myself for the day. A house full of Gunner’s family and friends. An environment I’m unaccustomed to. A day with Faith and Rylee.
Knowing I can’t spare more time thinking, I quickly lather and shave every appropriate part of my body. Without wetting my hair, I finish scrubbing my body clean. After drying myself and releasing my hair from its confinement, I slather lotion—enriched with essential oils—over every part of my body, hoping the oils’ relaxing powers help me through the day.
A navy blue button down fitted shirt follows, with a green awning skirt that hits right below my knees—matching my hair—and nude Mary Jane pumps. As I wait for the curling iron to heat, I apply a light coat of makeup—natural colors—and top it off with a burgundy lipstick.
Satisfied that I’m ready, at least in the physical department, I run, with Thor at my heels, to the kitchen to cover and pack the desserts and clean up the mess.
The frantic cleaning is added stress, but a must before heading out. Leaving a dirty kitchen for hours is unheard of, at least for me. My mother’s training, of how a proper household must run, has yet to leave me despite the years that have passed. Imagining the smell, the dirtiness, the bugs that might gather make me shudder. Then my mother’s horrified face flashes through my mind and her criticizing words because she is a hard woman to forget.
When I mapped out the estimated preparation, baking, cleaning, and getting ready time, with the time Gunner gave me, I didn’t take into consideration ruining one pie and having to run to the grocery store for additional ingredients. Or Thor’s need to escape our yard—the first time in a long time—and go exploring on this very day and having to run through the neighborhood, in my disheveled state, calling out to an excited miniature Goldendoodle.
Finally, giving myself time to breathe, my eyes focus on the stove clock; I notice it’s past the time Gunner gave me. All my rushing and the man is late. With hands on my hips, I scan the, now cleaned kitchen and the perfectly packed and stacked desserts sitting on the counter. Exhausted—with it barely being noon—and at a loss of what to do next, I stand and look down at Thor. He stares up at me, his head tilted to the side.
“No, you’re not going,” I answer his unvoiced question. My heart hasn’t reached the point of forgiveness for his little escapade. Running around, calling out his name is not something I want to do again, especially when I saw cars driving around. My obedient Thor disappeared, and a rebellious little monster took his place.
He barks in return, sitting down on his hind legs.
“No.” Hands on my hips, we continue our stare-off.
Bark.
“No.”
Bark.
Eyes narrowed, jaw firm, I refuse to wilt under the power of his adorable puppy eyes. My dominance must be established. I run this house. He’s my companion and running off is not acceptable, despite the hole under my fence allowing him to run off and chase after the cat that “called” his name.
Thor barks one more time, and this time, he lays down—the tip of his tail to the tip of his nose touching the floor—and starts crying. Sometimes, I think Thor is more than a dog, understanding me when I speak to him, like now.
“Really—?” The doorbell rings. Thor looks up at me giving me a long, sad look, and I shake my head. No, this time, those eyes won’t sway me. With a last look at him, I carefully make my way around his body and toward the front door. Refusing to be left behind, Thor jumps up and follows at my heels.
The doorbell sounds one more time, causing my eyes to narrow once again. This time, they aren’t directed at Thor but at the man behind the door. Gunner is the only person coming over, so I take my time opening the door. An impatient knock sounds, and I grit my teeth.
Now, he rushes? Oh, no.
“Don’t you even dare—” Soft, warm lips crash down on mine. With his tongue begging entrance and his arms around me, calming me, I allow him in and lose myself to his kiss. He backs me into the wall, his hands immersed in my hair.
My hands wrap around his neck, as I lose myself in him.
His hands leave my hair, trail down my body, and cup my buttocks. He lifts me up and my legs automatically wrap around his waist, my skirt riding up. Leaning into me, he presses his hard body against mine. His long rigidness against my warm center, separated only by a thin layer of satin.
Thor’s excited barks sound in the far distance. My annoyance disappears and excitement replaces it. Though I would rather remain home and spend my day with Thor and Gunner, being in Gunner’s presence is what I need. His desire to have me meet his family and his friends frightens me. Everything is moving so fast.
Please let me be normal enough for them. Let me behave in such a manner that I don’t alienate them. That I don’t come across as conceited or difficult. Let me be what Gunner needs.
His lips leave mine as he steps back and lowers me. We’re both breathing hard, and my body feels hot.
“Hey, angel.” He gives me that boyish grin of his that begs for forgiveness.
“Well…” My eyes close and I take a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. “You’re late.”
That grin of his turns into a smile, as he leans forward.
“No.” With a finger raised, I halt him. “You told me a certain time. I went crazy trying to prepare everything and be dressed by that time so you wouldn’t have to wait. It didn’t help that things kept going wrong. I was a mess, Gunner.”
“And what a beautiful, hot mess you are, Heidi.” He sneaks that kiss in, and I finally smile at him.
“Let’s get going. Lateness is just not acceptable, especially when I’m meeting all of your friends.” I turn on my high heels and head back to the kitchen. With a hand on my arm, Gunner stops me and twirls me around to face him. He brings me flush to him.
“Just breathe.” His warm breath brushes my lips as he whispers his command. “They’re going to love you. Every single one of them. You’ve met Faith and Julia—”
“I don’t normally make a great first impression,” I whisper, eyes cast down.
Over the years, I’ve been careful with who I let get close. I’ve become very adept at keeping people at arm’s length—so adept, I tend to rub people the wrong way.
“Everything is going to be alright.”
“If you think so.” I look into his warm eyes, and for a moment, I allow myself to believe him.
But life has shown me that everything good always comes to an end, at least in my life. Shaking those thoughts away, I pat his chest and straighten his tie. Stepping back, I caress his cheek, memorizing every one of his features. While it lasts, I have this time with him, and I need to enjoy it. “We need to get going, Gunner. The soup will get cold and the desserts—”
“Yes.” He clears his throat and walks around me to the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” I exclaim in alarm as he licks his finger.
Looking up at me with his finger in his mouth, he mumbles an answer.
“What?”
“God…” he moans. “This is delicious.” His fingers grab a cupcake, unwrap it, and quickly stuff it in his mouth—all before I can stop him. “Deli—” The rest is muffled as he chews, crumbs falling on his shirt and tie.
“Gunner, really?” I cry out. The man is, first, late, and now he’s eating the desserts. We haven’t even left the house!
He places one of the covered cupcake holders aside and starts to uncover a pie. Like a snake striking, I slap his hand away. “Don’t you dare.”
“Come on,” he begs, bits of cake and icing still at the corner of his lips.
“Goodness, the least you can do is clean yourself up.” With a napkin, I gently clean his lips.
“Why should I when I have my angel taking care of me?” He leans down and gives me a soft kiss on the lips. “Now, let me—”
“No!” That sneaky man was trying to get to the pies again, distracting me with his kiss. “The pies and cupcakes are for Thanksgiving, not for you to indulge in right now.”
“But, they’re my fav—”
“If you’re nice and quickly load them in the truck, I’ll share my soup with you.”
His eyes scan my face, trying to decipher the level of my seriousness. “I can’t—?”
I shake my head in answer and struggle to hide my smile. Gunner gives me an adorable pout, but I refuse to give in. No amount of kisses or pouts will keep me here after the hassle I went through to finish and getting ready.
“Okay…” he sighs dramatically. With one last forlorn look at the desserts, he takes the desserts to the truck. Smiling at his antics, I bring the freshly whipped cream—for the pies—from the refrigerator and place the container in a thermal bag to keep it cold.
“Finished,” he informs me, after completing three trips.
My eyes scan the kitchen to make sure nothing is left behind. A container catches my eyes. “You forgot those.” My finger points to the cupcakes hidden in the corner.
“Oh, those”—he nods to them—“those we leave here. I’ll eat them later.” His smile is wide, showing off his white teeth.
Picking up the container, I swallow a chuckle and meet his eyes. “No, you won’t. I made them for Thanksgiving.”
“But those are my favorite,” he whines, looking down at the container in my hands. “They taste better than any other chocolate cupcakes I’ve found or managed to make. Come on…”
“Honey, I’ll make you dozens more,” is voiced through gritted teeth. “Just get them in the truck.” I thrust them at his chest.
His eyes narrow then move to the cupcakes between us. His tongue runs over his lower lip before he answers, “You better hide three for me. Between Zane, Andre, and, let’s not forget, Skylar, they’ll disappear. If any of those have peanut butter, then Julia will destroy them, and I’ll have to sit back and let her because she’s pregnant.”
“I promise these won’t be the last I make you. There will be many more, and yes, I’ll hide three for you.” I can’t help but smile at his seriousness. The way he describes his friends makes me doubt I made enough desserts.
Satisfied with my promise, he places his hand on my lower back and leads me out the front door and to his enormous truck. After securing the desserts and settling in, I turn to him expectantly and announce, “I’m ready.”
“What about Thor?” Gunner tilts his head to the side, baffled.
“What about him?”
“Isn’t he coming?”
“No,” is all I answer as I turn to look forward.
“Why? We’ll be gone for hours and—”
“That little bugger escaped this morning, and I still haven’t forgiven him.”
“But you are going home with me afterward.”
“Says who?” I give him a narrow-eyed side-glance.
“Me.”
“But I have to work tomorrow.”
“About that…” Gunner clears his throat. “Cassie will open up tomorrow. I just have to have you in by your first appointment. So, what do you say?” He scratches his forehead before reaching for my purse, pulling out the green planner, and quick as a flash, opens it to the appropriate page. Before I can snatch it out of his hand, he gets a pen from his middle console and scribbles something in it.
“What are you doing?” I ask, knowing full well what his plan is. He’s realized I’m more easily swayed if things are written down, so he’s taken it upon himself to “write in” everything, even the last-minute ones. Like now.
“Nothing.” He hands over the book, grinning.
“You—” At a loss for words, I shake my head and give in.
“I know.” He climbs out of his truck and runs around to my side. “Let’s grab the fluff ball and be off. You can wear my things to bed, or better yet, nothing at all.” He grins lasciviously.
“What about—”
“I got everything else covered, Heidi. I told you, when I want something, I don’t let anything get in my way. Now, let’s get a move on, or we’ll be really late.”
With a pat on my behind, he leads me back in. As he picks up Thor, I grab his necessities. Still unable to comprehend this change over me, allowing such last-minute changes and not panicking, over much, because it’s Gunner. I don’t understand it, but I like it. I feel like a… normal person.
“Uncle Gunner! Yes! Desserts!” The squeal sounds as a running Skylar makes her way toward us. “You’re finally here.” Seeing his arms full with cupcakes and mine with pies, she stops right before plowing into Gunner. “Thank goodness you’re finally here. Momma wouldn’t let us eat, and I’m starving.” She emphasizes her statement by rubbing her stomach, looking very dejected. “What took you so long?”
He gives me a side-glance, and I narrow my eyes on him. He better not blame our lateness on me. He was late picking me up, and then he changed my plans.
“Oh…” The word comes out in a long and stretched out O, and she nods in understanding. “Looks like Daddy was right. You took forever to get dressed. But it’s okay.” She smiles at me and nods again. “Daddy complains that us girls take forever too. We were late getting here as well.”
“About time you got here.” Zane appears at the front door, Andre at his side, each holding a twin. “Get in here, we’re hungry, and the women won’t let us try out any of the food without your ugly mug here.”
“Be nice, or Heidi won’t give you any cupcakes. They’re homemade—chocolate with whipped cream and chocolate with peanut butter—just like I love them. She made them for me.” Gunner waves the cupcakes under Zane’s nose, and then turns to do the same to Andre. Each man closes his eyes and inhales, as if the cupcakes’ aroma could satisfy them.
“You better hide those peanut butter ones.” Andre chuckles. “You know Julia.”
Gunner wedges himself between them and makes room for me to pass.
“Oh, my goodness!” Skylar’s excited squeal has all of us turning to look for her. “You bought me a puppy!” she calls out, her face smushed against the glass, trying to look inside.
“You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me,” Zane growls and scowls when Andre starts laughing.
“Oh, dear…” My heart breaks for her. She’ll be so disappointed when she realizes the puppy is not for her. I can’t give away Thor. How is Gunner going to break the news to Skylar that the puppy is mine? And only mine. Her poor little heart.
“Relax, baby.” Gunner places a kiss on my forehead before ushering me in. “Don’t open the door, Skylar,” he yells over his shoulder.
“If that dog is for her, I’ll fuckin’ destroy you,” Zane threatens. “I already have my hands full—”
“It’s not,” Gunner answers, and the scared look on Zane’s face disappears with a sigh of relief.
“Now I know what to get her for Christmas,” Andre pokes at Zane.
“Don’t you goddamn dare. I’ll fuck you up.” Zane turns and scowls at him.
Andre smirks, clearly not afraid of the threat.
Turning away, I try to hide the smile threatening to appear at their interaction.
“Hi, Mrs. Knight,” Gunner greets the older woman in the kitchen and places a kiss on her cheek. “This is my—” He clears his throat. “This is my friend, Heidi Lynn Michaels. Heidi, this is Mrs. Knight, Zane’s mother.”
“It’s a pleasure.” Smiling, I nod in polite acknowledgment.
“It’s Angélica, mija. Mrs. Knight is my mother-in-law.” She makes her way to me and gives me a side hug since I’m holding the pies, causing my body to tense. “It’s a delight to meet you.” Such closeness is something I’m not used to, but I have to work on it. “You can put your things on the counter wherever you find room.” She waves her hand.
Finding just enough room to place the desserts, I help Gunner set everything down. We make another trip to the truck, where he gets the rest of the desserts, and I gather Thor in my arms. His portable water bowl, leash, and small pillow all tucked in his oversized doggie bag, I put it over my shoulder and step back. What happens if she doesn’t allow him in the house? What if they’re not dog people? The questions race through my mind as I wait for Gunner to load himself up with the rest of the cupcakes.
I hug Thor close and bury my nose in his hair. He, in turn, rubs his little face against my cheek. As the seconds pass, I feel his magic working, calming me down. Something about having him in my arms helps me. It calms me. He and Gunner are the only ones able to “deal” with me. I close my eyes as thoughts of my parents, particularly my mother, sneak their way into my mind, and I hug Thor tighter against me.
“Alright. I think I got everything.” His voice brings me back. Gunner turns to me, and I close the door behind him. “Make sure you have everything for the marshmallow. We can’t have him uncomfortable since he is doing this for me,” he teases.
“Thank you,” I whisper. Something tells me Thor being here is more for me than for him.
“Heidi”—he sighs—“I never want you to feel uncomfortable, especially when I’m around. That fluff makes you smile, so I’ll carry him anywhere. Okay?”
“Okay.” My answer is a mere whisper as I get on my tippy toes and brush his lips lightly with mine. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you, angel.” He touches his nose to mine and looks into my eyes before moving up and giving me a loving kiss on my forehead.
“Can I hold him? Can I? Can I?” An eager Skylar stands behind us. “Please… I want a puppy so bad, but Momma and Daddy got me twin brothers instead.”
Her answer brings a laugh out of me. “Twin brothers?”
“Yes, twin brothers. They couldn’t give me just one. They gave me two, and they cry a lot. And sometimes smell really bad. I’m going to train them, but they’re still pretty young,” she informs me.
“You can’t train your brothers, Skylar,” Faith announces patiently, as if this isn’t the first time she’s heard Skylar speak of her brothers as trainable persons. “Aw… such a cute puppy.” She moves her hand to pet Thor, but suddenly stops in midair and looks at me. “May I?” Her actions are courteous, and I appreciate them. Sometimes I’m particular as to who can pet Thor.
My eyes meet hers. This is Faith, the woman I’ve heard so much about. Rylee’s mother and Gunner’s first love. Though I’ve met her before, this is the first time I will have to interact with her. Before, I had my stylist armor and didn’t have to speak. Now, she stands before me. My heart feels tight, and I swallow before answering, “Y-yes.”
She smiles and reaches the rest of the way to lightly pet Thor. “He’s so soft and fluffy,” she marvels as she feels strands of his hair between her index and middle finger. “Adorable.”
“We could have gotten a dog, but no… I have brothers.”
“Skylar,” Faith says her name with a warning look.
“Yes, Momma,” Skylar answers sweetly, batting her eyelashes.
“What am I going to do with you?”
“Love me, Momma. Why, of course,” Skylar replies cheekily.
My lips twitch, trying to hide a grin. Hearing the interaction between Faith and Skylar, I could never have spoken to my mother or father in such a manner. It would have been unseemly, unacceptable. But Faith, she speaks patiently and so loving to her girls. I can’t help but like her.
“Let’s get inside, ladies. These things are getting heavy,” Gunner grunts beside me, struggling with the containers.
“You could have gone inside.” Faith looks at him, her hands still in Thor’s fur.
“Not without Heidi,” Gunner said pointedly.
Stepping back, Faith looks at me and then at Gunner. She smiles and then nods.
“Come on, angel. Let’s get you inside and introduce you to the whole brood.”
“Gunther Mateo Jaeger!” The loud voice echoes through the neighborhood.
Gunner halts and sharply turns in the direction of the voice. His eyes widen, and he glances down at me. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.
Before I can ask why, my question is answered.
“Come give your mama a hug.”
“I thought y’all weren’t coming this Thanksgiving, Dad.” As much as I love my parents, this was the wrong time to introduce them to Heidi. We were practically ambushed.
“And have your mother not spend such a holiday with her baby boy.” He chuckles. “You must be drinking a little too much whiskey, boy.”
“Dad.” His name is drawn out, just like when I was a boy. “As much as I love y’all, a heads-up would have been nice.”
“Then you should’ve called your mother.” My father, normally a calm and easy-going man, gives me a pointed look. “When your mother caught wind of your friend, nothing short of the world coming to an end would stop her.”
“How?” I hadn’t mentioned Heidi to my parents for this exact reason.
My father just grins.
“Faith.”
He nods.
I knew she would go behind my back. Not by investigating Heidi, but getting my mother involved, which equates to the same. Damn her.
“Relax, son. What’s done is done.” He pats my shoulder, but that does nothing to relax me. “Everything turned out okay.”
I snort. “If you call my mother practically smothering and scaring Heidi, okay, then yes.”
“If she’s going to be with you, then she has to realize your mother comes with the package. We keep to our own, but you are our only child, Gunther.”
“It’s Gunner, Dad.”
“You will answer to whatever your mother and I call you, boy.”
“Yes, sir.” There’s nothing I can say. As much as I’ve fought to have my friends call me Gunner, my parents still refuse.
“Cheer up.” My father slaps my back, pushing me forward. “Looks like your friend is in need of rescuing from your mother.”
My eyes snap to Heidi. Sure enough, my mother has her cornered.
Dear, God, in Heaven… I’m in Hell.
Taking deep breaths, I tell myself Thanksgiving is a success. That Gunner’s mother likes me and isn’t looking at me like I’m a bug under the microscope. But I need to stop lying to myself.
After practically being squeezed to death by Gunner’s mother in greeting and meeting his father, who is the complete opposite to his larger-than-life-personality-wife, we manage to get inside the house and make the rounds, greeting everyone. There are a lot of people here. Though Daniela, Gunner’s mother, continues to smile at me, I know I offended her when my body stiffened as soon as her arms wrapped around me and her lip smacked my cheek. But how could I tell her only her son had been that close to me? That my mother was never that affectionate?
Instead of making small talk, I try to disappear into the background and allow Thor to be the center of attention. He’s greeted with love and enthusiasm, especially from Skylar. But Daniela refuses to let me go.
“Let him down, niña.” She takes Thor out of my arms and sets him down.
Skylar takes advantage of Thor’s freedom and runs off with him.
“Tell me about yourself, Heidi.” She leads me toward the far corner of the room, taking advantage of Gunner speaking with his father. “How did you meet my son?”
“Uh…” Despite her smile, her piercing eyes make me uncomfortable. Making me feel as if she knows I hold a secret. Shuffling my feet, I try to gather my thoughts.
“Heidi, darlin,’ I won’t bite.” Her voice is soft and gentle, but her moving to place her body between myself and my view of Gunner is disconcerting.
“I know, Daniela.” I chuckle, trying to hide my discomfort. “I’m just not comfortable in large crowds.”
“Niña, you have to get used to it. Though Gunner is an only child, he has so many friends. This”—she waves to the room in general—“is how it always is and will be. If you’re going to be with my son, you have to get used to that.”
“We’re only friends.”
She laughs, a laugh-out-loud from the belly laugh, throwing back her head. “Oh, darlin’ girl…” She wipes the corner of her eye. “Gunner is just like his father.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well—”
“Mom.” Gunner appears behind her, wedging himself between us. “What are you doing?”
“Why, baby”—she squeezes his cheek—“I’m getting to know your amiga.”
“Ma…” He draws out her name in warning.
“Fine, I’ll leave the two of you alone, but make sure you bring her home.” She smiles at me. “She needs to get to know us, and it’ll be good to have you home. Your father drives me crazy.”
“You mean, you drive him loco, Ma.”
“Semantics, mijo.” She makes a face and waves her hand.
“Daniela,” Heinrich, Gunner’s father, calls out. “Come here, woman.”
“Looks like I’m needed elsewhere. Lucky you.” She leans in and gives me a kiss. “I mean it, Gunther Mateo… Bring. Her. Home.” With one final squeeze to Gunner’s cheeks, she leaves us.
I take a deep breath and exhale in relief. Maybe she doesn’t hate me.
“Don’t leave me,” I beg Gunner from the corner of my mouth.
“I got you.” He speaks the magic words, pulling me in and kissing my forehead. “Always, angel.”
And so the day continues turning into a success.
Gunner remains by my side, my hand in his, or his arm around me. Though Andre and Zane try to lead him outside with the rest of the men, he stays with me. They, in turn, remain with us.
Nestled at Gunner’s side, I look around and observe. Children run in and out of the house, Thor following along and barking sporadically. Faith and Julia stay close together, with Faith watching Julia carefully since she’s near her due date. Andre’s eyes move between us and Julia, and every so often, he makes his way to her and whispers in her ear. After a smile from her, he returns to us.
Zane and Faith make eye contact, and when she notices his bottle is empty, she brings him a new one.
The older women converse and smile lovingly at the children running by, every so often calling out a warning to be careful. Though these women live hours away, I can see their friendship runs deep, bonding over time, brought together by their children.
The laughter, the chaos, the love you can feel in the air grips my heart. What would things have been like if I could have grown up in a normal home with loving parents? What would my life have been like if I could have kept my first love? If I hadn’t been a pawn for my mother? My eyes close, trying to deal with the pain the what-ifs and the memories bring, and I step closer to Gunner. Realizing my need, he pulls me closer and caresses my hair, placing a kiss on the crown of my head.
“You good?” he whispers.
“Uh-hmm.” I nod, laying my head on his chest.
My actions attract attention as eyes bore into me. Daniela’s eyes are on me, but she smiles at me, putting me at ease. It’s the other sets of eyes that disconcert me. Faith and Julia look at me, their gazes unreadable. Faith studies my face with such a concentrated force, my heart stops. What is she thinking? Does she—? It isn’t until she shakes her head and turns back to Julia that my heart beats again. Julia and Faith continue with their talk, and I’m forgotten.
Forever be an outsider looking in. Forever trying to make amends for the past I left behind. Forever looking for a home to call my own.
“Angel,” Gunner bends down and whispers in my ear, bringing my attention back to them. “I need to use the restroom. You okay here?” He looks into my eyes, and my breath catches at his consideration. I know if I answer no, he’ll stand by my side until we leave, but I can’t do that to him.
“Yes.” My smile forced as I try to put on a brave face. “I’m good, honey. Go.”
He excuses himself, and I’m left alone with Zane and Andre. Andre smiles at me before excusing himself and making his way to check on Julia, again.
Now, I’m left alone with Zane. The man who exudes strength and danger, and the man I owe so much to.
“He likes you,” Zane says without preamble, surprising me because I figured he would at least take me somewhere private.
“Who?”
“You know damn well who I mean, Heidi. What the hell are you doing here?” He softly growls his question, while keeping an eye out to make sure Faith doesn’t see us.
My stomach fills with dread because there’s only so far I can run. Now, it’s time to stop.
I wash my hands and look up into the eyes staring back at me in my reflection. The shadows, the sadness, and the feeling of inadequacy and failure are pushed back. In their place, I see a man with a smile and shining eyes, and it’s all because of Heidi.
Heidi…
Just thinking her name makes me chuckle in amusement. She’s everything I never thought I wanted, yet she’s everything that I need. Her attitude and quirks make me smile, and they keep me on my toes.
She’s different from Faith. It has taken me years, but now, I’m grateful Faith and I never came about. I’m glad Jake made his move first, and that she never chose me. Because I finally understand I never would have made her happy, and I never would have been happy in return.
Back in the living room, I pause in the doorway and take in everything before me. Gathered here are all the people I consider family. People I may not be related to by blood, but life has bonded us on a level deeper than blood. These men and women would lay everything down and rush to my aid, as the past has shown. And I, in turn, would give my life for them.
What I once thought was a failure, has turned into a blessing. Faith was right when she said we would create a legacy. All those years ago, I thought my life was finished when my military career suddenly ended. Now I realize those fifteen minutes that changed my life were a blessing in disguise.
After Jake passed, Phoenix was all that kept me sane. Faith had lost a husband and lover, but I had lost my best friend. Despite the closeness between all of us—Jax, Zeke, Damon, Duke, Jake, and myself—Jake and I were always the closest. His death left me empty and floundering because “How was I to make it without my best friend?”
His dream. It has all been about Phoenix and rising from the ashes better than before.
Who knew that in the process I would come to meet a woman who would bring me back? Who, in trying to help her, I’ve helped myself. I just hope she’s able to accept my big, intrusive, and loud family along with me because you get me, you get them as well.
Speaking of woman, my eyes land on her. She’s standing next to Zane, and he’s leaning down, talking to her intensely. Something about that doesn’t sit right with me, especially when her body goes rigid.
Quickly, I make my way to them and put my arm around her waist. Pulling her back, I bring her back to my front and settle her there with both arms around her.
“You okay?” I whisper loud enough for Zane to catch my question, my eyes on him in warning.
He clears his throat and steps back nonchalantly. Smiling, he answers, “She’s good.”
“I asked her,” I answer him, giving Heidi a gentle squeeze, letting her know she can tell me anything, and I’ll make sure to fix it.
“I’m fine, Gunner,” she answers, turning in my arms to face me. As she lays her head on my chest, she puts her arms around me. “You know how I am. I’m not a people person if I’m not behind my styling apron.”
“Okay, angel. I just wanted to make sure Zane didn’t say something to upset you. Despite being married to Faith, he’s still rough around the edges.” Placing a kiss on the crown of her head, I keep my eyes on Zane. Warning him to back the fuck off, especially if he’s here for Faith. I told her to back off Heidi, and I expect my wishes to be respected. “Alright, baby. Time to go. It’s past my bedtime, and you need to tuck me into bed.”
“What about your parents?” she asks, turning to look at my mom and dad cuddling in the corner.
I smile because they sure haven’t changed in years. They still have their hands on each other and balance themselves out like before. Two halves to a whole.
“We’ll get with them tomorrow. Tonight, you’re mine.”