Chapter 17

Coyote

I stand with my fingers entangled on the back of my neck and watch her. Ruby is sitting in an antique rocking chair and humming a lullaby with her eyes fixed on the baby wrapped in a blue blanket on her lap. This chick can’t sing for shit, but my heart fills with a sense of painful beauty at the sound of her voice. She looks exactly like I remember her, funny freckles on her white cheeks, full seductive lips, big eyes. Auburn hair bringing dirty fantasies to my mind. I’d wind her hair around my fist and mark her throat with my teeth. I’d fuck her hard. She’d be on her stomach and I’d be on top of her.

Ruby raises her grey eyes to me, and the chair stops moving.

“How did you find us?” she asks, looking aloof.

“A polite hello would be nice.”

“I asked you a question.”

A seagull screams above my head and I raise my eyes. Its wings flap, and the bird lands three steps away from me. It cocks its head up and stares at me impertinently. I wave my hand, but it ignores me.

“We feed her sometimes,” Ruby says.

“Her?”

“She’s kind of domesticated.”

“Okay,” I say with hesitation.

A balmy breeze kisses my forehead as the sun’s rays burn the nape of my neck. The smell of the sea brings tranquillity to my heart. Brings yearning for something I can’t name.

I climb the stairs and sit on my heels in front of Ruby on the wooden floor of the veranda, putting my bag beside me.

“So, I asked you a question,” Ruby insists. “How did you find us?”

“It took me a while. Many hangovers and a few joints before Charlie spilled the bean. Hello, Ruby. Nice to see you again.”

“Hello, Coyote. Nice to see you again.”

“A boy or a girl.” I point my finger to the baby.

“A boy.”

“Seafra’s?”

Ruby nods at me. “Yes, our little Eric.” She flashes me a translucent smile. “Why are you here?”

“Why? I couldn’t believe it that my cousin might have taken his life, you know. It’s not his style. He’s a tough guy. He wouldn’t do such a thing, you know. That’s why I’m here.”

“You have to leave and forget about us.”

“Well, I’ve travelled for many hours and I’m hungry.”

“Sure, I can feed you at least.”

Ruby raises herself, taking her walking stick with one hand and pulling the baby to her chest with her other arm, as I follow her inside of the house. It’s more of a barn and needs a lot of work, but the living area we’re crossing looks decent. The stone and raw wood used to decorate it give the interior a unique crudeness, gentled by the wavy outlines of a sofa with two matching armchairs.

Ruby lays the baby into a cot standing in an open plan kitchen and takes two bowls out of the fridge as I wash my hands under the tap of the kitchen sink.

“So,” I say. “How is life?”

“Not bad. My sister and your cousin are working in the small pub at the opposite end of the village. Seafra is sometimes singing there to earn the money for the repairs in our house.”

I drop into an antique chair at the kitchen table. “What about you?”

She puts a plate on the table and piles it with salad. “Why are you interested?” Her eyes blink, long eyelashes flapping seductively as she settles herself next me. Her elbows are propped on the table, eyes gleaming with curiosity.

I take her wrist and plant a kiss on the back of her hand. Sadness darkens her glance at my gesture.

“I’m interested because,” I say in a hoarse voice and suddenly I can’t find the right words. Fuck. I’ve practiced this conversation at least twenty times. I know I have to be straightforward, precise like a bullet. It’s the kind of situation when one does extraordinary things, says the naked truth, changes their life forever. “Well, I was thinking, you know. A lot. I was thinking about you.” My jaw muscles twitch as her eyebrows arch. I raise my hand and run my knuckles up and down her cheek. “I’m interested because I’m in love with you. Enough reasons?” I grab her wrist and pull her onto my lap gently.

Her body stiffens as I enclose her with my arms.

“Ruby, can you think about me sometimes?”

“Eat something. You said you were hungry.”

“I asked you a question.”

She moves on my lap, her prosthetic feet scratching against the floor. “I sometimes think about you.”

“Good. That’s really good.” I rest my forehead against hers. “I think about you very often. Sometimes a few times a day.”

She giggles and puts her palms on my face. “You need a shower. You’re sticky.”

“Yeah, I need a shower. I smell like a wild animal.”

“Worse.” She winks at me. “Are you going to stay for a while?”

“What a change of attitude. You’re not going to kick me out of the house just after the meal?”

“No. Changed my mind.”

“I’d love to stay. For a week or two if you don’t mind.”

“Stay forever.”

At first, the simplicity and honesty of her suggestion hit me hard, then the white clarity of my needs and desires fills me with calm. “This isn’t a bad idea, actually.”

I have the A4 envelope from Charlie in my bag. I think I could make use of the documents inside.

Ruby kisses the corner of my mouth, a delicate brush like a butterfly has touched me with its wings. “You really need a shower.”

“Yeah, I need a shower.” I press my lips against hers tenderly, because I don’t want to scare her away.

She shivers, jerks her body back as though she wants to escape from me but then her chest clings to mine, her arms encircle my neck and she deepens the kiss.

That’s all I need to know to make my choice.

Her tongue slips in, touching mine. I hook the back of her neck with my hand and crush her lips with mine, taste her greedily. Breathe her in.

“Go, have a shower,” she groans.

“Let’s have a shower together.”

“We will. One day.”

“When exactly?”

“In a week or two.”

“That’s a plan.” I huff.

The baby wakes up and Ruby rises from my lap to change the nappy expertly. I go to have a shower. As I step out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later, Seafra and Eavan are standing in the middle of the kitchen, their faces sharp.

An icy silence hangs above us all.

“Well,” I start.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Seafra says through clenched teeth.

I bend and dig my hand into my bag, taking out the brown envelope from Charlie. “Here’s your answer.” I throw the envelope at him. “By the way, nice to see you alive. Man, this was really scary.”

Eavan is rocking her baby in her arms. Her cold glance sweeps over me.

I’ve always regarded her as a weird person. There is something tempting about her appearance, but I definitely prefer Ruby who seems to be more human and warmer.

Seafra takes the documents out of the envelope and flicks his furious eyes over them. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Man, I have a family. You’re putting our lives at risk.”

Eavan stands beside him and looks down at the documents too.

I clear my throat. “I followed Charlie’s every instruction. I was really careful.”

“It’s not the life for you,” Seafra says. “Coyote, do you even know what we’re dealing with? You can’t just come here and stay with us. What if you change your mind?”

Anger rushes through my veins. “I made my choice. I had a lot of time to think and I know what I want in life and what I don’t want. If this life is good for you, certainly it will be good for me too.”

“We’re dead, Coyote,” Seafra says. “Can’t you see?”

I roll my fingers into fists. “You look more alive than ever before, Seafra. You look tired but happy. Happy like never before. If this is death then I really like it.”

“So,” Eavan says and flashes me a half smile. “How did you die?”

“I haven’t died yet,” I say. “But, soon, I’ll deviate from the mountain road and crash. They’ll find a lot of bottles with vodka in the wreck of the car.” I chuckle. “If the car doesn’t explode, of course. There are wild animals in the area. They will be blamed for my death as well.”

“Very creative,” Eavan says.

“Charlie is a professional,” I say.

“You can sleep on the sofa,” Eavan says as Seafra shakes his head.

I salute her and Ruby shoves me towards the table. We gather around it.

“So,” Seafra says, slapping me on the back. “You’re part of the gang.”

“It’s fucking scary,” I say, making Ruby giggle. “Well, I decided that I preferred having a family to having money. It was pretty lonely. So I thought why not? And here I am.”

“There are rules,” Seafra says.

“I know,” I say. “I had to listen to Charlie’s monologues for a month.”

Eavan puts the baby to bed and we open a few cans of beer.

“It will be fun,” Seafra says and I notice a flicker of sheer joy in his eyes I’ve never seen before.

“It will be fun,” I say.

***

 So here I am, stuck out in the middle of nowhere.

I’m living under one roof with my cousin, his wife and his son. Ruby loves me in her own unique way.

She’s hurt. She’s damaged.

She’s determined to squeeze her happiness out of the life we have here, but still it’s very difficult to be with her. She hides some part of her from me. It’s like I have her and I don’t which pisses me off, but I never give up easily and I’m determined to tear my way to the true Ruby whatever that takes.

I never ask about her past, but we have a lot of plans for our future together.

I love her more than anything else in my life.

I love her naked body shivering beneath mine at night, her ragged breath and sweet moans when I’m fucking her.

She likes it rough so I give it rough to her. She’ll be on her back, on her stomach, on her side.

She’s really mine at night. We’re connected, wild, impatient. She screams my name in ecstasy, but mumbles his name in her dream. Jack.

Seafra told me to never ask her about him so I don’t ask her even though his name evokes my urge to murder him.

Ruby’s started to smile brightly at me. That’s a fucking good sign. Like I said, I never give up easily. I’ll make her forget this guy, Jack, whoever he was for her.

What about Hale? Well, he’s leading his decadent life according to the news and we’re ghosts for the whole world.

Natalie, the cop, who’s helping us, decided to buy that small pub where Seafra and Eavan are working to earn money for us. A very generous woman, I can tell. And lonely as hell. Well, Charlie is lonely too.

I’m not lonely.

I’m happy. A bit scared, but very happy.