Sol

Athena and Brianna join us two days later. It feels so good to be with them all. Each of them is different and oozes a different aura. Athena is warm and caring, the embodiment of a Greek goddess, but she’s nervous as hell. She suffers from OCD. Brianna is kind of sarcastic and very practical, a dwarf with black hair and coal-like eyes. My mom always brings the air of subtle darkness to our gatherings. I know she’s gone through hell. Her mom died, her dad died. She killed her stepfather. She had a miscarriage.

After Brianna has greeted us with warm words, she winces at the sight of Mike holding his daughter in his arms.

“You will crush my granddaughter,” Brianna says.

“You haven’t seen me for six months, woman,” Mike snaps. “Be nice to me for just five minutes.”

“You’re not drinking, are you?” Brianna tears Amber from his arms and hides her in hers. “Poor baby. You father forced you to live in that horrible place like he couldn’t live with us.”

“We’re happy here, Mom,” Daisy says and rolls her eyes at me. “And somebody needs to be on guard here.”

“Mike has a family now,” Brianna says. “Someone else could replace him. My house—“

“We want more privacy, Mom,” Daisy says.

“The house is big,” Brianna insists. “You’d have your privacy.”

“With Dimitri?” I say as Brianna shoots knives towards me with her glance.

“Let’s eat,” Athena says.

“Right, let’s eat,” Mike says and exchanges glances with Rebel who’s been watching us like we’re monkeys in a circus.

I heard him talk to Mike yesterday. Rebel said we all should be whipped and then starved for three days.

“And you’re Rebel, right?” Brianna sends him a curious glance.

“Yes, ma’m,” Rebel says with a pinch of sarcasm.

“Welcome to the family,” Brianna says.

“I’m not a wolf,” Rebel says with translucent anger.

“You are,” Brianna says. “Look at you. A true wolf at heart.” She holds her lips tightly together and nods several times.

“Are they always this annoying?” Rebel turns to Mike.

“Most of the time,” Mike says.

“Fucking hell,” Rebel mutters as Brianna raises her finger to him and shakes her head.

Daisy gestures for us to spread around the table and serves us food as Brianna smothers Amber with kisses and hugs.

The house is small so I’m sleeping on the double mattress spread in the kitchen and my mom is my companion. Carrie is sleeping on the couch in the living room as Athena and Brianna are going to occupy Amber’s room.

But, it’s so nice to be with them. We can’t stop talking. Even Carrie seems to look more alive.

After the meal, Daisy takes me out for walk around the house.

“You look happy,” I say.

“I am happy.”

“I heard. Your bedroom is next to the kitchen. Let me think. It went like this… Mike, oh God, Mike, I want your big cock in my ass.” I nod. “My mom just didn’t want to comment, but she was really amused.”

Daisy laughs as her olive face turns red and she strokes my arm then sends me a serious glance. “Why are you here, Sol?”

“I needed a break.”

“From what?”

“From everything.”

“Gunner Junior—“

“That shithead is driving me mad.”

“Nobody expects you to be a widow forever, Sol.”

“My baby expects me to be a widow. And Jeez, Daisy, are we talking about Gunner Junior? You know I hate him. Me and him—never.”

“Carrie said he was really caring for you.”

We drop onto the bench under the dome of an oak tree. A cold breeze kisses my cheeks and makes me shiver so I zip up my black hoody.

“He feels guilty, that’s all,” I rasp.

“Everyone feels guilty. Dad, Mom, Mike, Uncles. Everyone. Me too.”

“You? Why?”

“I’m a good biker, better than Shay was. I should have gone instead of him.”

“You live too far. There was not much time. Axel, Hawk, and Uncle Gunner were on a business trip. Uncle Zane had to watch our backs and create more distraction. We didn’t have much time to plan anything.”

“You see. That was nobody’s fault.”

“That was my fault. Mine and only mine, Daisy. I swerved and pushed Shay towards the truck.”

There is silence, crispy and cold like the air in the mountains. Daisy sighs and strokes the back of my hand.

“We all know we lead a dangerous life, Sol. Shay knew that too. Such accidents happen, honey. They just happen. They happen more often to people like us. We know that. All of us. We bury those left behind and continue to live our fucked up life because we love our way of life.”

I feel a cry welling up in my chest like a volcano is going to explode at any moment, but it can’t find the way out. “Can I stay here with you for a while?”

“You’d better.” Daisy wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek. “Stay for as long as you want.”

Gunner

Sive and my mom returned six days ago, but Sol didn’t. It stabbed my heart like a knife. It’s still stabbing me all the time. I’m a zombie living my routine—my work in the garage, a shower, sometimes a drink with Nikko and Hawk, or sitting with my mom and watching her tired face.

Sol must be like seven months pregnant now. She’ll be in labour soon.

There’s no fucking way I’m going to miss her labour.

I call Mike.

I speak to Axel.

On Saturday grey chilly morning, I pack a small bag and jump on my bike. The rain starts drizzling as I start the engine. Dad waves his hand to me from the veranda. I raise my thumb up and he returns the same gesture.

“Everything will be alright, son.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

I repeat ‘everything will be alright’ in my mind and claw at his comment like my life depends on it. Then I go to the Devil’s Tears. A sense of nostalgia wafts through me at the thought that soon, I’ll walk slowly along the asphalt road in the compound and absorb the way of life my primal part craves so much.

But, I need to see Sol even more. I need to see her desperately. I need to touch her or I’ll go mad.

The Devil’s Tears’ members are not thrilled to see me, but Mike’s one of them now so I’m allowed to enter the compound.

Things turn out crazy.

Fucking hell. Sol’s made such a mess that I’m almost impressed with her.

***

Two members of the Devil’s Tears MC take my gun and knife as the noise of a fight comes to my ears—growls, hoots, swear words.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“Rusty and Squirrel are fighting for that blonde bitch of yours,” Ace says.

I met him four years ago when I visited Mike with my dad for the first time. Ace looks like a massive bear and like a man who has a good sense of humour.

Flutter goes through my chest. “She’s fucking pregnant.”

“She’s fucking pretty,” Buzz says and rubs his hand against his crotch, grunting. “Really pretty.” He glides his palm over his bald head and grunts again.

Rage fills my veins. Sol’s mine. No man is allowed to call her a pretty girl. No man is allowed to have filthy thoughts about her.

I pull forward, but Ace blocks me with his arm. “The knife in your boot.”

“I have no fucking knives in my boot,” I snap.

“You always have a knife in your boot,” Buzz says as Ace grumbles a few swear words then pats his round belly.

I bend and take the knife out of the sheath attached to my ankle, handing it to Buzz. “Now, fuck off at last.”

I pull forward as the noise guides me. The clubhouse rises in front of my eyes, an industrial building that used to serve as a small agricultural machinery factory about fifty years ago. The owner went bankrupt and the founders of the Devil’s Tears MC bought the building at a laughable price.

The compound is situated twenty miles away from the city and the wide wall of pine trees encircles it.

As my eyes roam over my surroundings, I see all the people have gathered in front of the clubhouse. I notice Mike and Daisy then my eyes lock on Sol. Her stomach is bigger than I remember and, fucking hell, staying with Daisy did her good. She looks beautiful, glows like an angel. Her hair has regained its previous shine and her cheeks are fuller, child-like.

I don’t have time to waste it on staring at her though. I have a job to do.

I elbow my way towards the two fighting club members and throw myself at them. A wave of hoots and howls follows.

Adrenaline courses through my veins. I sweep my arms precisely as Dimitri and Boulder taught me. Every punch is deadly and my two opponents are stunned by my sudden intrusion. I knock out one of them with three punches as the other kicks me in the side of my chest. I’m gonna smash the motherfucker.

I’m a cold instinct.

I’m a clean precision.

I’m a furious strength.

The crack of a bone slices the air then another and my opponent trembles on the ground, vomiting and screaming. Right, he’ll need a surgery on his arm.

I wipe the blood gushing from my nose. “Anyone here wants to beat me? No? She’s mine, you motherfuckers. My bitch. None of you touches her. Ever.”

Mike sends me a wolfish grin as Gabriel, the president of the Devil’s Tears moves closer to me.

We shake hands.

“Heard him, motherfuckers,” Gabriel says, his voice raspy from the excess of cigarettes, the smell of tobacco heavy around him. “She’s been claimed. Fuck off, you all.” Gabriel fixes his pale blue eyes onto me. “I don’t have to tell you—“

“I know what to do with the bitch,” I say.

Gabriel slaps me on the back. He’s sixty-four years old, but has the stamina and posture of a thirty-year-old. Well, he fucks like a thirty-year-old. Star, his daughter, is like living proof of his stamina.

The people disperse in all directions as I approach Sol. “Pack your stuff.”

Mike nods at me as a man about my age stands beside him.

“Told the bitch to keep quiet and stay in the house,” the man says and shoots lightning towards Sol with his glance.

I raise my finger. “Only I can call her a bitch. Do you fucking hear me, asshole?”

Sol snorts as the man raises his hands in a warding gesture.

“Take her,” he growls. “She’s trouble.”

I look at Sol. “I said something.”

Sol pulls forward as Daisy hugs me briefly and runs after her. Mike hugs me and slaps me on the back.

“Good to see you,” Mike says. “Really good to see you.”

“Just about time.”

“Rebel was going to win her.” Mike grins at me. “That was our plan—win her and kick her out of the compound.”

Heat runs to my face. “Rebel?”

Mike points his hand to the man standing beside him.

“You fucking stay away from her, Rebel,” I say and bring my fists up to my chest, my blood still suffused with adrenaline, all my instincts still fighting for Sol.

“I fucking don’t want that bitch,” Rebel says as subtle repulsion appears on his face. “Too mouthy for my tastes. But we had to do something.” He moves closer to me, and leans slightly forward. “I’d have packed her and sent her back to the Shadow Wolves a long time ago, if that had been my decision to make. She needs a short leash, man. Far from here.”

The most important members of the club know who we are. The prospects ask questions, but they’re never answered. They won’t be answered until we’re officially back in business.

Anyway, it’s good to know Sol is not Rebel’s dream. I don’t have to smash his face.

“Come on,” Mike says. “Let’s sit.”

“I should take Sol out of here as soon as possible,” I say.

“Eat something at least,” Mike says.

Sol

Right. Every woman except Daisy hates me here. The men make me indecent propositions on a daily basis. I feel like a prisoner here and Mike’s son wanted to risk a broken nose and broken limbs to get rid of me. How chivalrous of him.

Rebel is handsome and tempting, but I’m not interested. He is not interested even more. There is that girl, Star, looking like a little elf with white long hair. Rebel is mad about her, but only Mike and I know about this.

I guess, Gunner is my lucky win today.

I throw my clothes into the bag as Daisy packs some food for us into plastic containers.

“What a mess,” Daisy says.

“Maybe it’s for the better.”

“No, It’s just that—“

I stroke her arm. “I’ll visit you soon.”

“You’d better.”

We hug and I hear the engine of Mike’s truck working outside of the house then a few bangs follow. The boys must be loading Gunner’s bike onto the flatbed.

Daisy takes the bag from my hand and goes first as I fix my eyes onto Amber sleeping in the travelling cot. Mike is a wonderful father, which is kind of surprising, because he hated all the kids in our family. Amber is his princess and Daisy is his queen. Like Mom and Dad. I guess, we are like real wolves sometimes.

Mike belongs in the Devil’s Tears, but he has a wolf’s heart. He’ll always have a wolf’s heart. Daisy is the same. But they are fine here, like trees transplanted into nutritious soil.

I sigh and leave the house. Mike abducts me into his embrace then Daisy hugs me again. Gunner glares at me and shoves me into the passenger seat of the truck. I catch Rebel’s glance full of pity then my eyes meet Gunner’s as he settles himself behind the steering wheel.

“So,” I ask. “Are you going to brand me now or something?”

“Shut up, Sol.” He starts the engine and turns his face to me. “You’re a biker’s daughter. You know this world and its rules.”

“We’re more, I don’t know, more civilised.”

“Really?” His voice is heavy with sarcasm. “Since when? We’re all the same. You just have that blue blood from Stanka, that’s all.”

I have the impression that mentioning my origins pisses him off. Not for the first time. He’s always been very sarcastic about my roots. His ancestors built the United States, fought for its freedom. Stanka, Boulder’s mother, originated from the European aristocracy. She married a Scottish gangster who was illiterate. What a fucking mésalliance.

The truck pulls forward.

“I saw those women in the clubhouse,” I start, trying to explain myself.

“You went to the clubhouse?” There is fury in his voice. “You’re fucking irresponsible.”

“I was curious. All the girls in our family live like hermits.”

“There is a reason for that.”

“I wanted to see it with my own eyes.” A flutter goes through my chest. “Those girls were sucking them off in public. They fuck in public, Gunner. Bent over the billiard table.”

That memory both repulses and excites me. Heat rushes to my cheeks.

Gunner changes gears. “So, you went sightseeing and one of the club members asked you to suck him off, right?”

“Well—“

“Sol, you’re not stupid. You know everything about our live you should know.”

“Fucking hell. You’re talking like my dad.”

We move along a bumpy road, a wall of trees on one side and the concrete wall of the compound on the other.

“Did you like it there?” Gunner asks.

“What?”

“The clubhouse—the stage with the pole, the strippers gyrating around it, the club whores, the filth in every corner.”

“You were inside?”

He doesn’t answer.

Of course, he was inside. Of course, one of those women sucked him off or even bent over the table and offered him her cunt and ass.

I feel like there is a burning wound in my chest, and I hate him like never before. This burning grows in strength, rises up to my throat and strangles me.

“Sol, baby—“

“Fuck off, Gunner. I’m tired.”

“Get some sleep then.”

I don’t hesitate. I am exhausted by the lack of sleep. My pregnant belly is pressing against my bladder and I have to go to the toilet even five times during the night. It’s difficult for me to find a comfortable position in bed and my back will sometimes ache.

“I just turned eighteen,” Gunner says gently. “And you were with Shay. Every man likes an easy pussy when they have no commitments.”

“What if there are commitments, Gunner? What if you had three sick kids at home, a sick wife who looked like shit and didn’t want to fuck and you hadn’t slept for a week. I’ll tell you what. An easy pussy would be like a piece of heaven.”

“Sol—“

“I’m tired,” I growl.

“You want to argue, you know.”

“You want to argue.” My voice rises with every word.

“Sleep.” He turns his face to me and shoots me a piercing glance. “And shut up.”

I show him my middle finger and rest my head against the seat to have a nap. The truck sways, lulling me to sleep. Gunner wakes me when it’s dark. I open my eyes and see that the truck is parked in front of a motel. An electric blue sign pulsates with the name ‘Galaxy Motel’. We have a meal in the café on the ground floor then we go to our room.

“You should have taken two separate rooms,” I say and cross my arms over my chest, standing in the middle of the room under a green modern lamp that hangs from the white ceiling.

My eyes roam over the double bed in front of me. It’s covered with a navy bedspread.

“Shut up, Sol. I need silence, okay?”

“Okay.”

I feel I shouldn’t piss him off, so, for once, I decide to be an obedient girl.

Gunner puts my bag on the bed and drops into the armchair by the window adorned with a blue and green curtain.

“How is your nose?” I ask as a sense of guilt wafts through me.

“Fine.”

Anxiety fills my veins. “I’ll have a shower.”

“Sure.” There is a dry crack in his voice like he’s very tired.

An urge surges through me. I want to comfort him.

I pull back and forth then I bite my lower lip. My insides start burning as the images from inside of the Devil’s Tears’ clubhouse flash through my head. Jealousy eats me like a parasite. I want to kill this unpleasant feeling, but it only grows in strength.

“You want a shower with me?” I ask instead as my heart thumps in my ears and my hands tremble.

Gunner jumps on his feet and leaps to me. Then his lips slam on mine. Heat rushes through my veins. Euphoria fills my head. Gunner sinks his fingers into my hair and kisses me greedily like it’s our first and last kiss. Like he wants to shake his whole anger off with one kiss. He runs his knuckles up and down my cheek, causing me pain. His teeth cause me pain. His tongue violates my mouth, stealing my breath away. For a moment, I’m falling into the consuming power of his passion and dominance. I’m floating in the power of his hunger that is unstoppable like a wave of tsunami. Brutal, scorching, desperate. But, his hand massages my stomach gently and the kiss breaks. My lips tingle, sting, and yearn for his. My body burns for his.

“Is it safe for the baby?” he rasps.

“I suggested only a shower.”

“Okay, a shower is good. Perfect.” He strokes my hair and sweeps a few wisps away from my face.

“Let’s go then,” I say.

We move towards the bathroom door and his mouth covers mine again. He kisses me tenderly as his arms encircle my chest.

We enter the bathroom and Gunner pulls my t-shirt over my head then lowers to pull my leggings down. I step out of them and shake off my panties as he rises to his feet and unhooks my bra.

His eyes burn with primal lust as his hand travels to my breast.

“Better than your whores’ tits?” I ask.

“Much better.” He rolls my nipple then pinches it as his other hand travels to my ass.

Our eyes meet.

I’m uncertain whether I see the abyss of savagery or the abyss of pure love in his gaze.

He squeezes my ass cheek then circles my nipples with his thumbs.

“My belly is ruining everything, huh?” I say. “Your whores didn’t have stretch marks?”

“Shut up, Sol.”