CHAPTER 3
Aurora
“I don’t know what to tell you. Her eyes were open and then they were closed.” The nurse was understandably startled when I blinked into focus the room that had been shrouded in darkness behind my eyelids for too long.
“I don’t want to make any snap judgments until I make an evaluation. It is encouraging, but we need to take things in baby steps.” I couldn’t speak, but I could see everything around me including the concerned face of Dr. Benton flashing a light in my eyes.
“We both know this is a significant change, it’s a miracle!” Nurse Augustine was looking at me with expectation in her eyes.
“I’m optimistic. This development does make it necessary to inform her family.” He was reaching for the phone.
I had been thinking about the kiss obsessively when suddenly my eyes opened. I was blinded temporarily by the lights overhead.
“No…not yet.” Those were the few words that I could force out with all my might. He was staring and wasn’t quite sure what to say to a woman who hadn’t spoken in months.
“Aurora, did you just say something or was that wishful thinking?” Dr. Benton was confused and looking for me to clarify what had turned into a medical marvel.
I cleared my throat and managed to croak the very same words over again.
“No… not yet… I still have… a lot of work to do. I need to walk…out of here on my own power. Don’t say anything to anyone.” I had a coughing fit trying to spit out the words to convey my feelings.
“I want you to drink this. It’s going to take some time to get your vocal cords working again. You are an adult and as my patient, I have to abide by your wishes. I want to go on the record to say it’s a mistake to keep the fact you woke up away from your family.” His starched white jacket and the fluorescent yellow lights over the bed made me realize how important it was for Travis to be there.
He made me feel less like a number. The staff couldn’t be expected to bond emotionally with a patient. Bringing their work home would only make their personal lives suffer. It wasn’t fair to make them responsible for keeping my hopes up.
“I don’t… have a family.” I was angry and was looking to lash out at anybody. My caustic tone and attitude had this icy chill behind every word.
“I’m sure you have questions for them. That’s another reason why they should be informed. Give me the word and I’ll be happy to make the phone call on your behalf.” He was going to get no confirmation from me.
“I won’t… give them… the satisfaction. It might seem spiteful… I don’t care.” I tried to get up, but my muscles were in a state of atrophy.
“I will arrange for you to start rehabilitation immediately. The sooner you start the faster you will get out of here. This is a huge step, but you still have several more to go. I have no doubt in your conviction to do so. I will be there with you every step of the way.” He wasn’t who I wanted.
“Where is…Travis? I want to…see him.” I looked around the room hoping to catch a glimpse of him standing in the corner watching from afar.
“He’s my friend and I could give him a call for you. If he stays to his routine then he should be walking through that door in about an hour.” Dr. Benton was kind and professional, but he wasn’t the first face I wanted to see when I woke up.
“No offense, but I would rather…rather reveal this miracle in my own way. I don’t want… one word of this to anyone. I’m depending on your… discretion. I also…would like some real food.” His smile creased his features and he was mildly amused by my request.
“I would say it’s a good sign you are hungry. I’m sure I can rustle up something more than what the cafeteria can offer. Would you like anything special?” I had a craving for something spicy.
“Jambalaya.” The smell of it hidden in the tupperware Travis was holding was an intoxicating aroma.
“I will see what I can do. Nina will be up shortly to start working those muscles back into action. I promise any news of you waking up will not come from me. The only other person that knows is Nurse Augustine. Her lips will be sealed. We take the privacy of our patients very seriously.” He was sporting a comb-over. It was obvious he fighting the aging process with every medical procedure known to man.
“Thank you. We’re going to do this my way.” I was finding my voice. My body was starting to realize the brain had been ignited with electrical impulses.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way. I admire the fight you have in yourself to make an amazing recovery. It’s a testament to the human spirit to overcome impossible odds. I’ve never witnessed a true miracle until now.” He was building my confidence with strong words of encouragement.
“Can I please get a mirror?” Nurse Augustine in her pink uniform fumbled around in her pocket until she found a compact.
I looked at myself without makeup and my hair cut shorter than the length I had when I first came in. Nurse Augustine held the mirror in place. I got a look at a woman who had aged remarkably well in two years.
“I will go and see what I can find for your first meal coming out of a coma. I can’t promise you the Jambalaya you want, but I will find something similar. I will also find you some magazines in the lobby so that you can catch up on current events.” He walked away whistling a happy tune. Waking up had certainly made for an interesting morale boost.
The one thing driving me was how I felt betrayed by the one person I thought had my heart. We were high school sweethearts. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first dance, and the rest. My one and only. We dated for twelve years before we married. He was supposed to be ‘The One’.
How he could justify walking away from his vows and all the years we shared together.
I tried to walk a mile in his shoes, while it’s true that I couldn’t expect him to show up every day. Once or twice a week would have at least made me feel like he cared. How could I possibly look him in the eyes and feel the same love I did standing at the altar?
And of course there was my sister, Jemma. My parents were the glue to keep us from each other’s throat. Jemma hated competing for their attention. She was the baby of the family. Jemma was always getting into trouble and I was the one always bailing her out. The last time was the final straw. I didn’t lift a finger to get her out of jail after she ran her car into a telephone pole while under the influence. She had to spend the weekend behind bars and she never forgave me. She assumed I was always going to come running when she did something monumentally insane.
It was worse after our parents perished during a storm at sea. They were supposed to sail around the world after their 30th wedding anniversary. The trip was our parents’ dream. Everything was planned to the very last detail, my father was one of those meticulous people that loved planning for everything. They had been in touch with me at every port where they docked and got provision. So when they didn’t message me three days after the day that they were supposed to dock in the most Southern port in Argentina. I went looking. The local police helped the best they could but there were no signs of them. Then three weeks later, their wreckage was found, floated ashore. It was the worst day of my life. They were too young to die. I wished I had given them grandchildren for them to spoil. Oh God. Every time their memory came to me, my eyes just welled up. Perhaps there was no way to ever heal from the loss of a parent.
“Hey Aurora, I hope you don’t think that lying in bed is a good idea. I have some questions before we begin a rehabilitation schedule designed for you. I hope you don’t find them obtrusive.” Nina was not exactly what I was expecting. She went to the window and opened up the blinds to let in the sun. I was blinded for the bright sun momentarily.
She was an Amazon at 6 feet tall and had the kind of muscles reserved for fitness competitions. She had stunning cheekbones and whatever scent she was wearing was addictive. She wasn’t wearing a lab coat and she didn’t give me the impression of a medical professional. I couldn’t see her staff identification badge that all staff would wear.
“Who are you? And what are your credentials?” I saw a tattoo of a red dragon head on her shoulder with a green tongue curled around her neck. Her black hair had an interesting tinge of red mixed with the pigment to complement her bright red lips.
“Hi, let’s start again. I’m Nina, I’m your physical therapist. Got all my degrees hanging on my office wall.” She extended her hand out for a handshake.
“Sorry, I just…” I shook her hand with a firm grip, so what I thought was a firm grip. My muscles had clearly degraded, even my hands.
“It’s ok. I know I look different from all the staff here. I take my job seriously. My techniques might be a little unorthodox. I will get you results, and that’s my number one priority.”
“Are you going to come down on me like a drill sergeant? Because I don’t respond to that.”
“Not exactly like that, that’s not my style. I am not going to coddle you either, I will push you until you are at you’re breaking point. You will probably hate me, but it will be a healthy hate.”
“You have to admit, someone who didn’t know you would have concerns about your experience. You don’t look like you are anything more than 20 years old unless looks are deceiving.” I was ready for the hard work and my dedication to a full recovery was like a flame burning in my heart.
“I’m actually 30, but I appreciate the compliment. In order for us to achieve results, we need to build the trust between us and we need to communicate well with each other. Tell me more about you.” Her appearance was nothing more than window dressing. I had to remember it wasn’t fair to judge a book by its cover.
“I don’t see how talking is going to help me walk out of here. I would rather just start the therapy.” I was apprehensive and anxious about the day I was going to confront my husband. I did regret taking that tone with Nina. I just wanted to get walking again.
“I see you mean business, and we will get there real soon. I have a method that begins with a bit of conversation.” She was wearing a red leather skirt and a white blouse. I could see how transparent it was with the straps of her bra peeking out from her shoulders.
Her soft-soled shoes barely made a noise walking across the floor. That crooked grin was hard not to recognize the gears moving with the darting of her eyes.
“I’m an open book. Ask me anything you want.” I thought I was ready for the inquisition, but I wasn’t.
“Since you mean business, let me give a few questions. Do you consider yourself a strong and confident woman? What is your main motivation for getting out of here? Are you stubborn to a fault? Is there any drama in your life holding you back? I think we will start with those. I want to get a baseline for your psychological evaluation.” She was acting like my therapist and I could see how my mindset would hinder my progress.
“I am a strong and confident woman. My main motivation is to take my life back. I suppose I can be stubborn when it’s warranted. I do have drama, but I have a feeling the file in front of you tells you more than I want you to know.” She hadn’t even opened the folder and I was curious to know how much she knew of my situation.
“Let’s pretend for a moment I have no idea.” She was pushing me into saying something I had only been thinking.
“I was barely married a year when I had an accident. My husband stuck me in here and left me to rot. If you were wondering if I have any lingering anger toward him then the answer is a big fat YES. I want to see the look on his face when he opens the door to see me.” My anger welled up inside me and exploded with an instinctual kick to throw the sheet off of my body.
“Being angry is normal and I wouldn’t try to tell you otherwise. We’re gonna to channel that anger and make it useful to get you on your feet. So let’s get started.” She started with a deep tissue massage to awaken those nerves lying dormant all this time.
I was letting those memories of my husband feed me like a drug. I felt momentary twitches in those muscles starting in my arms and working its way down.
It was an hour of disappointment and a flicker of hope at the same time. She told me not to overdo it and pushing myself too hard might become detrimental to my health.
I knew she was probably right, but it didn’t stop me from fighting through the pain she was inflicting on me. I was exhausted after the hour and my eyelids were heavy.
Dr. Benton did come back with Jambalaya and I devoured it like it was my last meal. Rehabilitation and nourishing my soul took a lot out of me. I finally had to sleep, but it was the last thing I wanted to do.