I had been tutoring Taylor for over a month now. Surprisingly, he wasn’t the arsehole I’d once seen him as. For the most part, he was polite and charming, and he made me laugh until my sides hurt. We had become friends—something I’d never thought I would say. Not only that, I was starting to feel things for Taylor that scared me, even if I was trying to lie to myself about those particular emotions. It also made things slightly awkward on my part whenever I was around him.

I could never admit that to him, though. Not because of my fear of rejection—although that very thought sucked—but because I enjoyed the rare moments I had with him. The easy banter we had together, the way we fought like cat and dog one minute, only to laugh, stare at each other and then look away the next. It was little moments like those that had me forgetting who he really was and why we would never work. Yet, I couldn’t seem to stop myself from stealing small glances when I was sure he wasn’t looking. I noticed everything. The way his brows creased and his jaw ticked when he struggled to get his head around a certain question or topic we were working on. Or even the way he gazed at me intently when I spoke, as if he was truly fascinated by the words that left my mouth. I didn’t want my stupid feelings to jeopardise what we had or change us in any way.

Taylor definitely didn’t need real help with college work, just like I had figured. All he needed was a little push now and then. It was clear that he wasn’t used to being told what to do. I had a feeling he got away with most things, but not with me. I continued to give him the push he needed because I wanted him to do well. I wanted him to succeed—on and off the pitch. At first, Taylor had been taken aback by my bluntness and strict rules. It had definitely surprised him when he’d turned up late for one of our sessions and I left him stood in the doorway of the library and went home. College was important to me and as much as I wanted Taylor to do well, I wouldn’t let him, or anyone else, stand in the way of my own learning. Taylor was definitely seeing that I was no pushover.

At first, things were awkward between us. We hadn’t exactly gotten off on the right foot with the whole Melanie thing. Taylor didn’t seem bothered, though. That was all me. And because of that awkwardness, we studied in the library where there were witnesses. If I was being honest, the thought of being alone with Taylor scared the hell out of me when we first partnered up.

He continued to flirt, but he had stopped asking me out after the last time he got us all kicked out of class. I wondered if Thorn had something to do with his change in behaviour. I’d heard how hard he came down on the team whenever he got wind of their crazy behaviour. I wasn’t sure if I should be grateful to coach, or poke his eyes out. Still, I was happy with the way things were heading. I didn’t have many close friends, so it was comforting feeling like I’d made a new one.

Eventually, we started to become more adventurous in the places we chose to study. Sometimes it was at the little coffee shop between Taylor’s house and mine. Other times it was at the local park where we would take turns bringing the snacks. It was at the beginning of this newly developed friendship that Taylor surprised me with a picnic. Well, I say picnic. Really, he’d just gone out and ordered two foot-longs from Subway and shoved them in a fancy bag, but I didn’t complain. The warm chocolate chip cookies he’d brought along were delicious.

This morning, Taylor had messaged me asking me to meet him at Winslow Falls football ground at eight-thirty that night. That had confused me because there was no sunlight at that time. I texted him back telling him yes, but I wondered how we would manage to get any studying done in the dark.

Those thoughts quickly vanished when I arrived at the field. The floodlights had been switched on, casting a glow over the plush green grass. No one was around except me and two lonely goal posts positioned at either end of the pitch.

I lifted my head and glanced into the stands, a smile instantly lighting up my face. Taylor was standing at the lower left hand corner in the exact spot where Brie and I had been standing when he’d won that all important game. I pulled my bag higher onto my shoulder and began the short walk over to where he stood. As I grew closer, I could see a smile on Taylor’s face. He looked happy to see me. My breath hitched in my throat at the mere sight of him.

“You’re here,” he said as I closed the distance. “For a minute there I thought you weren’t going to show up.”

“Why would you think that?” I asked. “I’m not late, am I?” I checked my watch. Sure enough, I was on time. Early, even. That didn’t surprise me. I was almost never late. Especially not for him.

“No, you’re not late. It’s just… Never mind. Take a seat.”

I slipped my bag over my shoulder and placed it in the seat next to where he stood, and took the one nearest to it. A slight breeze swept across the field towards us and I stretched the sleeves of my jumper out to cover my hands.

“Are you cold? Sorry, I didn’t think this through properly. We could always go somewhere else? Out of the cold?”

I shook my head. “I’m fine. I like it out here. It’s…”

“Quiet,” Taylor finished for me.

“Quiet,” I repeated, relaxing back in the plastic seat.

I had never really taken the time to appreciate the peacefulness of it before, maybe because I hadn’t been interested in being there before Taylor. I’d only ever seen this place as loud and obnoxious, but at night, it was… Well, it was a world of its own.

We sat in silence for what felt like hours, both reflecting on the serenity of the night. Really it had only been minutes when Taylor cleared his throat to speak.

“I wanted to thank you. For this,” he said, gesturing between us. “For helping me through college and stuff. I know I’m not the easiest person to be around, so thank you.”

‘You don’t need to thank me,” I said with a smile. “It’s my job, remember? It’s what I do.”

“Your job. Yeah, I guess it is…” Although I wasn’t looking directly at him, I could see him shake his head. Disappointed, maybe.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that.” I shook my head, closing my eyes in frustration. “I meant, sure, it’s my job, but I enjoy it. And being around you doesn’t completely suck,” I added with a smirk, hoping he understood what I meant.

Taylor wasn’t looking, though. His head was hung low.

God, I was such a bitch.

“Look,” he said, finally glancing up. “I thought we could do something else tonight. Something different. If you want to, that is. I know you said that you weren’t interested in anything other than studying, but I thought… I hoped…” A hopeful look set in his eyes as he waited for my reaction.

“You mean no studying?” I asked. Yeah, I’d told him on numerous occasions I wasn’t interested in anything else. Now, though, I wasn’t so sure. Maybe spending a normal evening with Taylor was exactly what I needed.

“No studying,” he confirmed.

“Okay. Sounds perfect.” I sighed. “I’m pretty sure my brain is already frazzled from that maths test today. I probably wouldn’t be much help to you anyway.”

Taylor smiled, seeming pleased. “I thought we could—”

“Please tell me you aren’t thinking of doing what I think you are?”

“That depends,” he answered, a wicked grin spreading across his face.

“This,” I said, gesturing to the field. “Because you should know that myself and balls don’t exactly get along. I mean, I’ll happily sit back and watch you play from the safety of this chair, but if you’re expecting me to join in…”

Taylor chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t worry, Firebox. For what I have planned for us, there won’t be much use for balls. Unless of course…”

I punched his arm playfully and laughed. It felt good to laugh. Freeing, even.

“Okay. No balls,” he said, rubbing his arm and feigning injury. “How about a beer instead?”

A beer? I wasn’t sure drinking around Taylor was a good idea.

As if sensing my uncertainty, he said, “If you don’t like beer, I can nip across the street and grab you a bottle of wine. Chicks like that pink shit, right?”

Taylor appeared uncharacteristically nervous and I’d have been lying if I’d said it wasn’t cute.

“Beer is fine,” I said. He pulled out a bottle and popped the top off, handing it over.

I reached out, and our fingers lightly brushed together as I curled my hand around the bottle. The small touch made me shiver and I quickly pulled the bottle to my chest.

He frowned. “You’re cold. Fuck. I’m such a twat. Here,” he said, tugging the neck of his hoodie up and over his head. “Take this.”

“No, I’m fine. Honestly,” I argued, waving him off.

“I said take it,” he ordered. Before I had the chance to protest, the bottle was taken from my hand and the hoodie was forced over my head.

I guess I was wearing the jumper then.

Taylor tugged the material down so it hugged me.

I groaned.

I wasn’t sure if it was from frustration that Taylor hadn’t listened to me, or the smell of the jumper that hit my nose the second it was on, invading my senses, or because of the way Taylor’s t-shirt had ridden up, exposing his tanned skin. I was guessing it was the latter. Either way, I groaned.

Taylor didn’t seem to notice it, instead handing the bottle back over without one of those cocky comments he was so good at making.

“Let’s make a toast,” he announced, raising his bottle.

Me? I wasn’t sure I could breathe let alone make a toast. What were we even toasting to? Had he already said? I was so done for. Maybe the beer wasn’t such a good idea.

His deep V was still very much on display, and although what I was currently doing could be deemed as inappropriate—hell, even pervy—I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it. The way the white tee clung to his muscles, exposing each and every one of them. The hard work that must’ve gone into looking that way.

If I just lifted my hand a little and reached out slightly, I could just…

“Lola?” Taylor said, his voice doing nothing to erase the thoughts from my mind.

If I could just reach out and…

“Touch it.” The words were out before I could stop them.

Oh God.

Please let me take them back, I begged to whoever was listening.

“Touch what?” Taylor asked, confused.

“What? Sorry, nothing. It’s nothing. I just… Forget it. Let’s make a toast.” I lifted the bottle and squinted up at him. “What are we toasting?”

Taylor chuckled and shook his head. “How about…. To acing these tests—with help from you, of course—and kicking the Albian’s arse next Friday?”

“Okay. To all of the above,” I agreed, clinking bottles.

Taylor eventually sat down and I was thankful that I could no longer see his delicious chest. I blew out a breath. A small sigh left his lips as he relaxed in his chair and dropped his head back, angling it towards the sky.

Warmth swarmed in my belly and I glanced down at the empty beer bottles on the ground. Taylor had shared a piece of his world with me. It may have been just an empty football pitch but it was a piece of him that I hadn’t seen before. I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or just that I finally felt ready. Whatever it was had me sucking in a quiet breath before I allowed the two words that haunted me to follow.

“I’m scared.”