I gazed up at the packed out stadium into a sea of red and yellow. Glancing down at my crimson shirt, I grinned. Everything we had worked hard for these past two years had led us to this moment. With twenty minutes left on the clock, we were still held at a draw. When Jackson took out Jake, the crowd erupted, knowing this was the chance we needed. I scrubbed my face with the palm of my hand and waited for the whistle to blow. Once it did, silence descended. Gone were the chanting and the unreasonable boos. Instead, there was only the sound of my heart beating in my chest. It was so loud I could hear it thudding in my ears as the blood rushed through me. It raced against my chest, beating harder than it ever had before.

I owned this moment. The only shot we had at getting this team to the leagues, and it was all on me. There was no way I would let the drowning thought of my parents steal this moment away from me, but that didn’t stop me from glancing to the lower left stand where they had once sat, urging me on with cheers and faces brimming with pride. Instead, though, she was sat there—Lola and her friend. I wouldn’t think too much about that. I couldn’t.

Focus, Taylor. I needed to focus.

Inside, though, I was grinning like a dick. She had come, and I instantly felt better about my parents’ absence.

I shook my head and closed my eyes.

I wouldn’t let them ruin this moment.

I let my eyelids open and blew out a breath, and it was in that precise moment that my right foot touched the ball and I gently guided it to my left. I faked another pass, only to take it to my right and then finally onto my left where I made the hit. And then I waited…

I couldn’t seem to focus on the ball’s movement. It was all happening so fast. It was only when the stadium erupted around me that I eventually saw it… The ball was sitting in the bottom right hand corner of the net, exactly where I had aimed for. Jenkinson was knelt on the ground with his face in his hands.

There wasn’t much time for me to catch a breath before I was knocked to the ground and pounced on by hundreds of pounds’ worth of men. My teammates. The cheers were deafening, but I didn’t let that stop me from enjoying the moment. It was the one I had dreamed of my whole life. Up until tonight, every goal I had scored had left me feeling the same, but this time it was different. I felt pride and a sense of power.

And I fucking loved it.

The final whistle came without much warning, but I welcomed it all the same.

We had done it.

We’d made the impossible possible.

Pharrell Williams’ Happy erupted through the speakers, and soon the pitch really was a sea of crimson and yellow. It was a moment I knew would stay with me forever, long after it was over. This wasn’t just about me. It was about them—the team, Coach, and the small town of Winslow who had waited decades to be back up there with the best of them. Now we were one step closer to being where we belonged.

“Mate, that shot was epic. Feels good, right? To know that because of that beautiful left foot of yours, you have just made everyone’s dream a reality. Gotta say, Tay... I sorta love you, man.”

I let out a laugh and dipped my head, letting the spray of water hit the back of my neck. “We’re a team, Johnny. If you weren’t subbed it could have been you out there scoring,” I replied, honestly.

Johnny had been taken off in the first half, having torn his Achilles tendon. I knew he was struggling in the first half, but he was determined to play it off as a cramp. I shrugged it off because the lad was determined, and determination was what made for a great player. If he was fit, it would’ve been him out there. He was one of our top penalty strikers and took a mean free kick.

“Nah. It was always gonna be you, man,” he said, squeezing my shoulder before slipping the towel around his neck.

I wanted to ask him what he meant, but when I turned back around, he was gone. I was just thankful that Coach had managed to pull some strings and allowed me to play because I would’ve hated to miss this moment.

I grabbed a towel from the shelf and wrapped it around my lower half, using another to scrub my hair and face dry. Lola had come. She had watched me play. Even if Brie had made her, which she likely had, I was still fucking thankful she had.

The house was already filled to the brim with students when the team and I eventually got there. As I walked through the door, I was instantly met with another round of cheers and stopped more times than I could remember. Faces I didn’t even recognize greeted me, and girls I had never seen in my life slipped me their numbers in the hope I’d call them. I needed to get out. I couldn’t breathe. I knew they only wanted to congratulate me on the win, but I couldn’t help my blunt responses as I made my way to the kitchen where a keg of beer sat waiting. I poured it into a plastic cup and took a healthy swig. The cool liquid slipped down my throat, and I let out a sigh, my shoulders sagging as I did.

I hadn’t realised how much pressure I had been under lately. With most things in life, I took them on the chin and never really complained about having to work twice as hard as most people to achieve my place in the team. Did it piss me off? Fuck, yeah. But my actions and attitude defined my whole life. I wasn’t a great student, nor was I a reliable teammate. I made poor decisions, and with that, I had to face the consequences. But something about tonight had changed me.

I had less than a year left in college. I wasn’t sure what the future had in store for me, but I knew that whatever it was, I needed to work for it if I wanted to succeed in life. From now on, things needed to change.

I needed to change.

“Taylor? Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Melanie said as she sidled up beside me and placed a hand on my chest.

I wasn’t sure how long I’d been standing against the trunk of the old oak tree for, but it must’ve been a while. Six empty cans littered the patch of grass next to me, and during that time, it had gone dark. How had I missed that? I was surprised I had gone unnoticed for this long, and I wondered how much longer I could’ve stayed hidden in the shadows if it hadn’t had been for Melanie interrupting.

Maybe it was because I was well on my way to being drunk, or the fact that I was outside and the music was less suffocating out here, but the way she said my name, the way she touched me, had me cringing and instantly stiffening.

“Not tonight, Mel,” I finally managed to say. “I just want to stay out here and enjoy my beer in peace, okay?”

I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t noticed it before. She had always appeared attractive to me. Well, to most guys, in fact. Tonight, though? Tonight I was seeing a lot of stuff in a whole new light. Sure, she was still pretty, but everything else about Melanie was unattractive. I only wished I’d realised that before I had fucked her. Maybe I had and just didn’t care.

“Don’t be silly.” She laughed, throwing her head back. “We should be celebrating. I thought we could—”

“No,” I said, and shook my head before she could finish whatever she was about to say.

Pushing off from the trunk, I made my way across the lawn towards the decking area. I couldn’t deal with Melanie. Not tonight.

“Tay? What is going on with you?” she said, following from behind.

“Nothing, I’m just not in the mood, that’s all.”

“It’s her, isn’t it? I’ve seen the way you look at her,” she said accusingly.

My brows knitted in confusion and I blew out an exasperated breath. The girl was starting to piss me off. I had tried to be nice about this but clearly that hadn’t worked. “Look, I have no idea…” I started to say, but found myself suddenly pausing...

After Brie had practically forced me to the game that afternoon, I started to feel more and more uncomfortable about attending the after party. I watched the people sat around me and realised just how out of place I was. It took a lot of persuading from her, but I eventually forced myself to ignore everything around me and somehow managed to concentrate on the game.

Even I couldn’t deny the thrill that ran through me as I watched, along with the rest of the bystanders, as our team won the game with only minutes left to spare. I had no idea what it meant for the team, but apparently the win was a big one. I’d heard something about them moving up the ladder, whatever that meant. It was hard to listen to Brie when I was so completely lost in Taylor’s every move.

It had been difficult to notice the rest of the team, especially when I clocked Taylor coming out of the tunnel in a kit that was made just for him. Even Brie gripped my knee with a silent squeal as he strutted passed the opposition without a care in the world. Where others tried to pretend they were confident and in control, Taylor oozed it. There was no pretence where Taylor was concerned. He owned the ground he walked upon.

I wasn’t sure I’d attend another game, but seeing the world through Taylor’s eyes had been a thing of beauty. Not even I could deny it. I’d always figured that he didn’t really care about anything other than himself, but I’d been wrong. The game meant everything to him. That much was obvious.

We didn’t stick around after it had ended. Brie insisted on heading straight back to her house to get ready. The thought of getting dressed up scared me more than being at the game, and I’d attempted to pull out of going. When that didn’t work, I moaned and pouted while Brie continued to spray me with God knew what.

She’d curled my hair and pinned it to one side so it hung loosely over one shoulder. The smoky eye shadow she had swept across my lids made my green eyes pop. It was so different to what I was comfortable with, but once I’d slipped into the black dress that Brie had, once again, picked out for me, I had to admit that I looked cute.

“You don’t look cute. You look hot,” Brie kept repeating as she went about fixing her own hair and make-up.

My nerves had gone into full-on meltdown as I glanced at myself one final time in the mirror. Shock took over my face as I realised just how short the dress was. I could never go out like this. I looked like a slut.

“Brie, I can’t wear this. You can see my arse,” I whined.

“Don’t even think about it. You are not changing that dress. Besides, the taxi’s here now.” She winked. Grabbing her clutch bag, she practically pushed me out the door.

As I climbed into the back of the taxi, careful not to flash my butt, I decided there was no point in arguing with Brie. I would never win. Instead, I chose to go with the flow and hoped they had enough alcohol to dull the nerves that kept pushing their way to the surface.

The drive to Jake’s house took no time at all and before I knew it, we were already inside and on our third drinks of the night. The alcohol warmed me from the inside and eventually, I began to loosen up.

“I need to get some air,” Brie yelled over the music that came from the bass speakers, which sounded as though they were in every room.

I agreed and followed her outside through the patio doors. It was just as packed outside, but luckily there was more room so I didn’t have to try too hard not to knock into anyone.

Brie leaned in to my ear. “Look who’s over there.” She pointed.

I angled my head, following her line of sight, and almost died right there and then.

Taylor was there. And he looked angry.

Great, I knew I shouldn’t have come here. Why didn’t I just stay at home in my room and listen to depressing songs instead of playing into Brie’s hands? I was stupid, and this was a really bad idea. I glanced down at the high-heeled shoes on my feet and cursed inwardly. Perfect. Not only was showing up here a really bad idea, I also looked like I’d stepped out of a porno movie into a house full of football players and their wannabe WAGs. I couldn’t muscle up the strength to lift my eyes, and even if I could, I wasn’t sure I wanted to. Taylor was many things—hot, sexy, perfect and everything in between—but angry? I’d never seen him like this before. Not that I ever paid that much attention to him. Lie. But why was he angry? Was it because I came here when I said I wouldn’t?

“Lola, c’mon. Quit looking so nervous. You look hot,” Brie reminded me… again.

“I look like a prostitute,” I mumbled under my breath.

Brie laughed. “No, you look gorgeous. Can’t you see? Everyone is staring at you right now?”

Great.

I didn’t want people to stare at me. What I wanted was to have a normal evening—to feel and be normal for a change. Now, I was standing in some random person’s backyard, drinking whatever the hell I was drinking, wearing a dress that barely covered my lady bits. I hated Brie. I really, really hated her.

“I should go.”

“No, you shouldn’t. You are staying here and you are going to have fun,” she said through gritted teeth, tugging my hand to move forward.

Where were we going? Surely she wouldn’t…

She so would.

“Brie, can we maybe just go back inside?” I pleaded. “I don’t think I’m wanted here,” I said even quieter.

“Quit being ridiculous. Of course you are. And besides, we’re here with Riley. Who cares what anyone else thinks?”

When we eventually came to halt, I couldn’t help but look behind me to the house, wishing I were back inside. Brie was persuasive and when she had an idea in her head, she didn’t back down. Knowing I was going to have to deal with it at least until she knew she had successfully completed her mission to make me feel like shit, I forced my eyes back around and began to rub the underside of my wrist, causing Brie to release the hold she had on me.

I kept my mouth firmly shut as Brie threw her arms around Taylor’s neck. “Hey, Taylor. Great game,” she cooed. She actually flipping cooed.

His eyes were very much on me and that angry snarl I’d seen before was still firmly in place. “Thanks, B,” he hit back. I could tell he had already been drinking. His eyes were red and glazed. He looked tired. After the way he ran the pitch today, that didn’t surprise me.

She pulled back and planted a kiss on his cheek. It was only swift one. Probably the quickest one I’d ever seen, but even so, I couldn’t help the twinge of jealously that drowned me. As quickly as that feeling came, though, it went again. Thinking those kinds of thoughts about him made me feel guilty. I wasn’t sure why.

“What are you even doing here?” a sharp voice said, cutting through my thoughts.

I glanced up, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear and meeting Melanie’s stink eye. I wasn’t sure why she had a problem with me. I’d never even spoken to her before. See, I wasn’t stupid enough to believe that the other students weren’t aware of my condition. It was clear they had heard something. Where most chose to discuss their suspicions quietly, Melanie made sure I always heard what she had to say. It didn't really bother me. Of course it was hard to comprehend, and of course they would have questions, but if they only came to me… If they only came to me, it still wouldn't matter. There wasn’t much I could tell them anyway.

“Piss off, Mel. She has as much right to be here as you do. Back the hell off,” Brie spat out and rolled her brown eyes at me.

She didn’t care what people thought of her, and I liked that. I wished I were more like that instead of timid and shy. Being too afraid to speak in case I made an absolute idiot of myself didn’t exactly make me the easiest person to talk to. Brie was spunky. I wanted to have sass and be spoken to like a normal teenager, but I wasn’t sure I would ever have that.

“Wait! Why are you even with her? Hold on… Let me guess,” Melanie said, pausing to raise a long, pointed fingernail in the air. “New project? You always were a sucker for a lost cause, even as a kid.”

What? How did I not know this?

Brie and Melanie had been friends as kids? That didn’t make sense. I frowned at the thought and glanced up at Brie.

She shot me a look that said she was sorry, but still I found myself taking a step back. Maybe it was out of habit, or maybe I just wasn’t used to being around so many people who were focused solely on me. Was that how they really saw me? A lost cause?

Just as Melanie turned on her heel and looked as though she was about to leave, she stepped in front of me with a wicked grin on her face.

“Newsflash, B. This one isn’t fixable.” Before I realised what was happening, gasps billowed out around me and I glanced down, seeing the remnants of Melanie’s drink trickling down the front of my dress.

My breath lodged in my throat and my hands instinctively balled into fists at my side. I had spent so long being angry at my parents, the world, and myself, for not knowing what was happening to me. For so long I’d managed to keep that anger under control. Until now, I had done extremely fucking well, but this time I couldn’t hold back. Maybe it was because there were so many people around me. Maybe it was because I was sick of being the laughing stock, or maybe it was the alcohol. Before I had the chance to battle with my conflicting emotions, my fingers had already latched onto Melanie’s shoulder and in one quick movement I had her stumbling backwards on her stilettos. That didn’t stop her from coming at me again. This time she went for my hair, gripping it so tightly in her hands that all I could do was brace myself for the impending sharp sting.

“You fucking little bitch,” she yelled, tugging harder. Her face was mere inches away from my own. I could feel the air rushing from her lungs, hitting me in the face.

Her cheeks were red with anger as I fought to remove her hand from my hair. It began to sting, but I pushed the pain to the back of my mind and shoved her back as hard as I could.

When she came at me again, having corrected her footing, I braced myself for whatever she was going to give me, but someone gripped my arm and began pulling me back towards the house. It was Taylor. I struggled to keep up with his pace as my heels formed a deafening echo around me. Everyone was staring and whispering, and Melanie was still screaming at me, but I didn’t have time to think too much about it. I didn’t even try to break free from Taylor’s hold as he pulled me through the kitchen into the hallway. He was going to make me leave. I couldn’t be pissed at him for that. He was right to make me leave. I had caused a scene and started a fight with his girlfriend when he should have been enjoying his night and celebrating the win.

I shouldn’t have gone to the game and I definitely shouldn’t have listened to Brie when she insisted it was a good idea. I was never going to fit in with this crowd, and after tonight, I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

I tried to tame my hair back into place, hoping I didn’t look as though I’d just been dragged through a hedge backwards.

And Brie had done such a great job of prettying me up. I almost chuckled to myself at the thought.

When Taylor continued to pull me past the kitchen and through the hallway, I blew out a breath, waiting for his next action. When he rounded the corner, completely ignoring the front door, I frowned. I wondered if I should tell him he missed the exit, but I thought better of it. I wasn’t even sure my voice would work anyway.

As he continued his march, I cursed under my breath. How much longer would he continue to pull me around, and where the hell was he taking me?

My questions were quickly answered as he rounded the bannister and started a soldier’s march up the stairs, dragging me behind him. Maybe he was drunk and a little confused because we had already passed the entry way and unless he was planning to throw me off the balcony—which I really hope he wasn’t—he wouldn’t be getting me out of the house this way.

Deciding to help him out, I cleared my throat and scrunched my eyes shut tightly. “Umm… I think you missed the front door. It’s just down—”

Before I had a chance to finish what I was saying, he yanked on my arm, harder this time, and pulled me to a stop in front of him. All I could see was his chest. A really nice chest, at that. Through his tight tee, you could see every muscle peeking out. Taylor definitely looked after himself. He was chiselled, sculpted to perfection, and, yeah…

I swallowed hard.

“I know where the front door is, Lola. I live here.” His voice was deep, authoritative, and sexy as hell.

Holy shit, he knew my name.

Taylor Lawson knew my name.

As I gathered my composure, I nodded, afraid to say anything that might piss him off even more. We stood in the same position, silent and unmoving for what felt like minutes, but in reality it could have only been seconds, until he released a frustrated sigh and continued up to the last step where he turned left into another hallway.

The house was big. The hallway was light, uncluttered, and made me feel like I was in some kind of showroom. I paused for a moment as a single thought hit me out of the blue. Wasn’t this Jake’s house? Did Taylor live here, too? I wasn’t sure if that was entirely true, though what did it matter anyway? I still wasn’t sure where he was taking me. We had already passed the room with the balcony, so I guessed I should be thankful I would live to see another day, but I was still confused. The frown on my forehead must have shown that, not that Taylor had noticed. He still had me gripped by the elbow and was manoeuvring me around corners so fast my neck began to ache.

We reached another set of stairs, and before he placed his foot on the first one, he paused. “Mind the steps. They’re steep.” That was it. That was all he said before starting his ascent. When we came to a stop in front of another door, I gasped. We were going onto the roof. Why was Taylor taking me onto the roof when there was a perfectly decent balcony on the second floor?

He held the heavy glass door open and stopped. He was waiting for me to step outside, and I did. The cool air hit me and instead of feeling nervous, I felt free. My shoulders sagged in relief. No one could see me up here—well, except for Taylor, and I was surprisingly okay with that. But why were we up here?

“I come up here to think. It’s the only place I can catch my breath and be myself,” he said, as if he was reading my thoughts.

Why was he telling me this, and why couldn’t he be himself anywhere else? A loud bang came from behind me and I jumped, a small cry tearing from my lips.

Taylor chuckled and I could feel him behind me. “It’s just the door. No one else comes up here but me.”

That admission didn’t make me feel the least bit better about being here. He was pissed at me and we were at the highest point of the house. He was close. Too close. But instead of touching me, he just stood there, still as the night sky. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck and I shivered. When I felt him move, I turned my cheek and watched as he took a seat on a small, manmade brick wall that stood no higher than my shins. His long legs were spread out and crossed at the ankle. I swallowed again, unsure what to say.

“Sit down,” he ordered, and I did, carefully placing my butt cheeks on the wall. I left a small gap between us, just to be safe, and glanced around at the vast space in front of me.

It was dark and slowly, the stars were beginning to make an appearance one by one. Up here, everything was so clear, the bright, twinkling stars, and the dark blues and midnight grey of the sky. Even my mind felt somewhat clearer than it had down there. Although you could still make out the music from the party downstairs, it was distant, more like background noise than the arrogant lyrics that had met me when I first walked in.

Taylor cleared his throat and uncrossed his feet. “You really have some kind of memory loss?” he asked. His head hung low as if he was still upset with me.

I was taken aback by his question. No one other than Brie, my parents, and Doctor Jacobs had asked me that question outright. Still, I found myself answering. “Apparently so.”

“That’s crazy,” he said, shaking his head. When he looked my way, his brown eyes meeting my green, he paled. Although it was dark and the miniature statue lamp barely shone enough to see past my hand, I could still see him. “Wait, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you were crazy. You're not. It’s just… I’ve never known… It’s… Well, it’s…”

“Crazy.” I nodded.

I wasn't angry that he considered me loony bin material. If anything, I was grateful. Not many people took the time to ask me what happened. It felt surprisingly good.

“But you remember the accident, right? I mean, that’s what people said. There was an accident?” He almost sounded apologetic.

“There was,” I confirmed and nodded my head again. “I don’t remember the details. I know it was a lorry that hit me. The man had a seizure behind the wheel and his truck swerved onto my side of the road. They said I tried to brake, to swerve out of the way, but it was too late.”

“And the man? Did he survive, or…” Taylor shook his head and blew out a breath. “Sorry. You don’t have to answer that if it’s too much.”

I hid my smile as I took in his frustration. He was cute. Surprisingly polite… and cute.

Yeah, I definitely wouldn't be saying that out loud.

When I was eventually done drooling over his cuteness, I turned my cheek and offered a small smile. “It’s okay. I want to answer,” I added, just to reassure him. “He survived, but he was in hospital for a long while. I guess I was the lucky one.”

When Taylor didn’t say anything, I found myself unable to stop talking. Something about the way he looked at me in understanding made me want to bare my soul to him.

“Sometimes I can smell the smoke, and it’s so strong I feel like I’m choking. I can’t see anything, but I know I’m in the car again. In my dreams, I feel trapped. I’m suffocating. Not through strangulation or anything like that, but more like the feeling of being claustrophobic, not being able to get out. Really wanting to get out. That’s the only way I can describe it. Like I’m reliving it all over again.”

He didn't say anything for some time and I was almost certain I’d confirmed his suspicions of my craziness, but then he surprised me again, this time closing the gap between us. I glanced down to where our knees were now touching and found myself unable to tear my eyes away.

“Lola?” he said, cutting into my thoughts.

“Sorry, what?” I rushed out, looking up into his eyes. I wished I hadn’t, though. It was impossible to look anywhere else. They seemed to sparkle under my fixed stare, amusement looking back at me, and I swallowed again, noticing the small slither of gold that swept through his irises.

“What if the dreams you’re having have nothing to do with the accident? Like, they might not be a memory after all. Just a nightmare.”

I wasn’t sure where Taylor was going with this. Did he mean that the car accident was just another made up memory? I knew it wasn’t. The doctor had confirmed it. I wasn’t going crazy. Was I?

I forced away the empty feeling and shrugged. “Then I’m back to square one.”

“But… you think they are real?”

“No, I know they’re not real. I know they’re just dreams, but yeah, I think it’s a part of my brain trying to tell me what happened.”

“And your parents? Do they know what happened to you?” Taylor grimaced, and I wondered where all this was coming from. I didn’t know him very well, but from what I’d seen, I knew he didn’t engage in conversation much. Despite his reputation as a ladies’ man, he was pretty damn quiet most of the time.

“I don’t know for sure. I mean, they haven’t said anything. I’m sure the doctors and police told them everything. Sometimes I hear Mum speaking to Aunt Ruby—she isn’t really my aunt, by the way—and they always seem to go quiet when I walk into the room.” I took a deep breath in and glanced down at my dress, which had almost dried now. “It could be all in my head, though. Do you want to know the thing about memory loss?” I asked, raising a brow. Taylor nodded his head and I continued. “It makes you one hell of a paranoid bitch. It’s hard to know who and what to trust.”

“That makes sense,” he said, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

I frowned. “What makes sense?”

“Why you said no to coming here.”

I let out a short laugh. “No. I said no because I wasn’t interested.”

“You’re not interested, yet you’re here?” He grinned.

“I’m here,” I confirmed, waving my hand in his face to make a point.

He let out a laugh before grabbing my wrist and gazing intently at me. “What made you change your mind?”

I shrugged. “Things change.”

“Things change?” he repeated, raising a perfect, dark brow.

“Yep. I changed.”

“You changed?”

“Well, yes and no. Brie threatened to message you, making out that it was from me if I didn’t come tonight.”

“Oh yeah? Saying what?” he asked, raising his other brow. He was curious.

I shrugged again. “I have no idea. I didn’t want to find out.”

Taylor chuckled and released his grip on my hand, only to place it on his leg. I wasn’t sure what I should do. I could move it? That would be the sensible thing to do. But I wasn’t feeling very sensible tonight and it felt oddly nice touching Taylor. Even if it was just my hand resting on his knee.

“Okay, enough about me,” I finally said, cutting through the silence. “Now it’s my turn.”

He shrugged, seeming unaffected by my need to question him. “Shoot.”

I tapped his knee. “Why are you such a man whore?”

I almost wished I could take back the words, but when my question didn’t seem to faze him in the slightest, I released a sigh of relief.

“That’s a matter of opinion,” he sharply pointed out, but a ghost of a smile played on his lips.

“Fact, actually,” I corrected him. “Why Melanie?” God, I was getting brave. Maybe I should have quit while I was ahead.

“Why Melanie, what?”

“You know. Why her? I mean… she’s not exactly… nice.”

“And you are?” he questioned with a smirk.

“I don’t claim to be,” I said, lowering my eyes to the ground.

“My head was a mess. I made poor decisions, and I was this close to losing my spot on the team. She was there, willing, and well… You get the rest.”

Nodding, I tilted my head to the side and met his eyes. “Was she one of them? One of your poor decisions?” I wasn’t sure I wanted him to answer that. What if he said no and I’d just almost started a fight with her? Oh, God!

A weird expression washed over him, one I wasn’t able to read properly. Regret, maybe?

“At the time, she was.”

“And now?”

“Now, I don’t know.”