I had no idea where Darren had gone. He’d left to get us a drink, but that had been almost fifteen minutes ago and he still hadn’t returned. Not that I needed another drink. I was already wasted. I knew the three Jack and Cokes were a bad idea. I was never good when it came to drinking spirits.

I leaned forward on my toes and glanced around. Where the hell was he?

I thought we had hit it off instantly. At the very least, I thought I’d made another friend. Had I scared him away by speaking about Taylor? I knew it was like a written law that you should definitely not speak about an ex to a potential new boy, but I hadn’t been the one to bring him up. I was more than happy to pretend he never existed, but there was no chance of that happening. Darren seemed heavily invested in Taylor’s wellbeing, which made zero sense because we had come here together. I wasn’t even sure where things stood between them as friends. He assured me he wasn’t concerned about their friendship and that Taylor wouldn’t allow a girl to come between them. Not when they had to play together on the team. I felt a little better knowing that. The last thing I wanted was to cause any unnecessary drama between the two of them. Aubrie and Riley’s relationship had already suffered because of me, even if they were out together tonight. It was apparent that they were far from okay.

I did feel sorry for Riley. It was easy to recognise how much he liked Brie from the way he gazed at her, ignoring the other girls around him. I guessed that was easy, though. A girl who looked like Brie was hard to ignore. Her no nonsense attitude was also a major turn on. Men liked that in a girl. She wasn’t jealous of all the attention he received, even after finding out he’d slept with the she-devil. That was something I wasn’t sure I could have handled, but Brie was cool like that. Being on the team and all, I guess it was a given that girls would instantly be drawn to her man. If Brie was jealous, she didn’t show it. She also wasn’t afraid to voice her opinions. If she didn’t like you, chances were you would know about it. You could say that we were complete opposites. I guess that was why we got along so well.

I was starting to feel uncomfortable dancing alone. I let my eyes roam the bar and sighed. He had bailed on me.

Great.

Already feeling foggy from the large amount of alcohol I’d guzzled down, I decided that Darren bailing on me wasn’t a bad thing. I could go home, slip a couple of paracetamol, down a pint of water, and maybe, just maybe, avoid a hangover from hell.

Spotting Brie at the far corner of the bar, I started to head over to let her know I was leaving, but I stopped dead when I noticed she was deep in conversation with Riley, and she didn’t look at all happy. I sighed again, knowing it was likely my fault. If only I’d refused to help Taylor in the beginning then none of this would’ve happened. I need a redo, I thought to myself as I scanned the bar for the exit.

Just as I spotted the bright neon sign signalling my way out, two strong hands attached themselves to my hips and began to grind against me. My first thought was that Darren had finally come back, but with his hands gripping me firmly, all my instincts told me to run like hell. I liked Darren, but not like this. An uneasy feeling crept over me, but as soon as it did, it was gone. I no longer felt the need to run or remove myself from the hold he had on me. In fact, I wanted to curl into him and breathe him in, have him touch every inch of me with those strong, trained hands, until I stopped breathing. Because it wasn’t Darren who had caused the goosebumps to break out all over. It was Taylor. I could smell him, and my stomach fluttered with nervous anticipation. I could smell the beer on his breath, mixed with a hint of mint.

A few moments passed and I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the way he smelt that had my stomach knotting and my insides clenching with need. I could feel him everywhere and yet, it wasn’t enough. Despite his mind games and need to blow hot and cold on me every five minutes, I wanted him. I wanted him everywhere.

I felt his erection growing against my arse. Feeling bold, I wiggled against it, pushing back and allowing my hips to find their very own rhythm. What the hell was wrong with me?

Taylor’s chest rose and fell, his warm breath dancing across my neck as he kissed a path toward the sensitive spot behind my ear. I shivered. I was becoming feverish, lost in the moment, and I was all too aware how damp my underwear was getting. Strangely enough, it didn’t bother me. I wasn’t embarrassed. I was too far gone to care. I brought my arms up and reached behind me, hooking them around Taylor’s neck and bringing him impossibly closer.

Taylor continued to press his lips against my clammy skin. His warm breath was a stark contrast to the damp of my skin. It was oddly erotic and I didn’t want it to end.

Somewhere along the way the music had changed. A slow R’n’B track began to sound out around me, and our hips locked together, forming a rhythm. I continued to push my arse against him. I wanted to make him as crazy as he made me. Taylor cursed and swung me around to face him. His eyes were dark and they bored into me intently. His hands gripped my arse as he pulled me against him and I moaned loudly as his erection hit me right where I needed it to.

Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead, hitting his brow, and I lifted my thumb to brush them away. I don’t know what came over me, but as I did that, I slipped it into my mouth and began to suck it off. The salty taste met my tongue and I closed my eyes.

“Fuck,” he breathed out and removed his grip on my arse. “You can’t do shit like that, babe. Not unless you want me to take you out the back and fuck you until you can’t speak.”

I raised both brows then cocked my head to one side. “What? I thought we were playing a game? We like games, remember?” I grinned then tugged Taylor towards my face. “I have a new one. It’s called ‘Go fuck yourself, Lawson’.” And then I pressed my mouth against his.

What was I doing? What had happened to me?

I didn’t have much time to consider my actions before Taylor kissed me back, our tongues dancing together as if they’d never been apart. When I was around Taylor like this, I was able to forget about everything he’d done to me. All the times he’d screwed me over and made me feel as though I was another one of his conquests. One look into his beautiful brown eyes, one flash of that famous grin and I melted right into him. But something Doctor Jacobs had said to me one day had me pulling back and breaking the kiss.

“You no longer have control over your life or your emotions, and until you do, you’ll never feel good about yourself, Lola. You’ll never really truly feel happiness until you find the strength to take back the control the accident took from you.”

A small sob tore from my lips and I brought my hand up to my mouth to cover it. What was I doing? This was wrong. If I allowed myself to play these games, I wasn’t going to get any better. Instead of facing up to the past, I was only hiding it away, storing it deep inside of me where it had the ability to resurface at any time. That wasn’t how I wanted to live my life. I couldn’t do that to myself.

Taylor’s eyes searched mine, his breathing hard and heavy. I shouldn’t have kissed him. I shouldn’t have led him on like that. I was turning into someone I hardly recognised anymore. I was turning into the very person who was staring back at me with such uncertainty in his eyes.

Oh God.

I closed my eyes and sighed. “I’m sorry. I can’t,” I told him, and I turned and walked away, leaving him alone and lost on the dance floor.

I glanced up at the exit sign and found myself smiling. This was it. This was the beginning. I was finally able to take control of my life. I knew I still had a long way to go but this was it. This was the start.

“What are you doing?” I heard someone yell before Brie came barrelling into me. She was as drunk as I was.

“I’m taking control.” I nodded firmly.

“About time, girl.” Brie held out her fist and I knocked it with my own. “I’m coming with you. Just let me tell Ri—”

“No, stay. I’ll be fine.”

Brie dipped her head and frowned. She didn’t believe me.

“Honestly,” I told her, rolling my eyes. I wasn’t annoyed. I knew she was only looking out for me.

“Okay, but call me when you get home,” she ordered. Brie pulled me in for a hug then left the way she came.

It was raining as I exited the club and the cool night air swept across my skin, sending shivers through my body. I shook out the leather jacket I’d brought, knowing it was going to rain this evening, and pushed my arms into the sleeves.

“He was in my bed last night.”

I looked up, hearing Melanie’s shrill voice from behind me. The rain hit my face and I breathed in.

“What?” I sighed, eventually finding the energy to turn to face her.

“Taylor. He stayed with me last night… In my bed. The poor guy was in such a mess that he came running to me. He needed me.”

The news didn’t surprise me, but it hurt all the same. I guess I still had some issues to work on. Taylor being one of them.

I forced a bored expression onto my face. “And you’re telling me this, why?”

“I saw you inside. I figured you must still have feelings for him, so I thought I’d do the decent thing and tell you.” Melanie stepped toward me, her black heels scraping as she did. “He came to me, not you. Me.”

“That’s really great.” I stifled a yawn, hoping she’d leave.

Her red lips curled into a snarl. “You still think you have a chance with him, don’t you?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I know I do. But don’t worry, Mel, I won’t be stealing him away from you.”

“Like you could.”

I was getting tired of hearing her speak. So what? Taylor screwed her. It wasn’t as if this was news to me.

I stretched my neck and glanced up the street, noticing a couple of taxis heading my way. I threw out an arm and waved down the nearest one. “I honestly don’t care. Now, if you don’t mind…” I said pulling open the back door as soon as it stopped beside me. Once inside, I blew out a breath and that was when everything hit me. Taylor, the accident, my parents. Everything.

I cried. I cried for Taylor. I cried for myself. I even cried over Melanie who shouldn’t have even entered my thoughts.