Sometimes you just know that something terrible is about to happen even before you’ve stretched out your muscles from the night before, scrunched your bare feet into the carpet and blinked away the sleep from your eyes. Maybe even before you can register in your mind what day it is. You just know…

It’s a feeling that runs through your veins, threatening everything you ever thought you knew and loved—a feeling you can’t possible ignore. Yet, we try to ignore the tight knot that works its way inside of us and we continue to go about our day with that feeling still lingering deep within our souls. And it’s never about if. No, it’s only ever about when.

The quad was a large patio area surrounded by four buildings and most students congregated there in between classes. Today, though, it appeared to be buzzing, more so than usual as I stepped out of Brie’s car and flung my bag over my shoulder.

Things had been going well with Taylor the last few weeks. We were finally learning to open up to each other and share what we were feeling. Getting to know each other had been fun, and while we still had a lot to learn about each other, we were in no rush. As much as he’d made it clear that he wanted to fuck me, I was more than okay with taking things slowly. It wasn’t that I thought he’d leave me once that happened. I was just happy to let things play out. If it happened then it happened. But I wouldn’t be rushing myself into anything, despite what Brie thought. She had become a huge fan of Taylor’s since that night at the club. I wasn’t sure what had changed her mind, but I was more than grateful that she had. It made everything so much easier knowing that I at least had her support. I wished the same could have been said for the others. They couldn’t quite grasp the fact that Taylor and I were now an item and that what we had was real. Different. I guess they thought that because of Taylor’s past, we’d most likely had sex, too. Their assumptions annoyed me more than I let on.

It was none of their damn business, but that was college for you.

Taylor insisted that as much as he wanted to fuck the hell out of me, he also wanted to wait until we were both ready. I wasn’t sure if he meant that or was simply saying it because he thought it was what I wanted to hear. I was still learning when it came to him.

“Wow. Lively, much.” Brie whistled as she came up beside me and quickly fell into step.

“Yeah, that’s one word for it,” I mumbled.

As we grew closer, my back stiffened and a cold chill ran through me. I shivered. It was apparent that something bad had happened.

I lifted my eyes and allowed them to drift around the surrounding area. Jake glanced our way briefly. Instead of nodding his head in his usual greeting, he just lowered his eyes and hung his head. What the hell was that about?

“Brie?” I nudged her arm with my own. “What’s going on?”

“I have no idea,” she said. It was obvious by her lack of colour that she also had a bad feeling about this.

The noise that met us as soon as we exited the car had gone. Silence descended around us, and sensing something wasn’t quite right, we both stopped dead in our tracks. Surrounded, all eyes on me, I suddenly felt trapped. My breath caught in my throat and a sickly feeling settled in the very pit of my stomach, every so often forcing its way up. It was like I was surrounded by a pack of wolves and I was nothing more than their prey.

“I reckon she lied the whole time,” one girl said. I turned to see who it was but there were so many people it was hard to decipher where it had come from.

“I’m just surprised they allowed her in. I mean, aren’t we supposed to feel safe in school? ‘Cause I don’t feel so safe now.”

What the hell?

I tried to muster up the strength to ask what the hell was going on, but I couldn’t form a single word. Had someone died? It sure felt like they had, but it didn’t excuse the fact that everyone was staring at me as if they wanted to kill me.

I glanced up, seeing Amy from my English class headed our way. “You should be locked up for what you did.”

Okay. This was getting really weird now. Amy was one of the few people who had always made an effort with me. Why was she mad at me?

She proceeded my way, her eyes boring into mine. She had what looked like a newspaper cutting in her hand.

“Lola, what have you done?” Brie whispered and I glanced up at her. What did she mean?

“Nothing. I have no idea what’s going on, I swear.”

“You fooled us all. And to think I actually felt sorry for you,” Amy said, shoving the paper into my chest, hard. I gasped.

“Now I get the whole memory loss bullshit. Kinda convenient, right?”

“What?” I whispered. What was she talking about?

When she stormed off, the whispers and pointing picked back up again. Students shook their heads in disgust while others simply walked away, unable to look at me.

I glanced down at the clipping and let my eyes linger on the headline.

“What is it? Lola? What’s going on?”

What? No. Please, God, no.

I couldn’t answer her. I couldn’t even move.

I felt the paper slip from my fingertips before the ground caved beneath me, forcing me to my knees.

Lola?

Lola?

There were noises. I could hear them.

Then there was darkness, and the whole world turned to black around me.

“C’mon, Lola, your turn. Truth or dare?” Avery said as she took a seat on the couch nearest to Austin.

I swallowed the foul tasting liquid and shuffled nervously on my bottom. The hard floor was becoming uncomfortable.

All eyes were on me, anticipating my answer. There was no way I would be taking the dare. I had done that once before and it didn’t end well. Mr. Brunswick had never looked at me the same since. Then again, if I’d opened the door to find some young girl stood at my front door in nothing but a cowboy hat, I’d undoubtedly be scarred for life, too.

Austin glanced at me with a wicked glint in his eyes and I winked, suddenly feeling brave.

“Truth,” I said, a little too loud and proud.

“Okay. Boring, but I guess it’ll have to do,” Donna said, almost annoyed at my response.

That didn’t surprise me. She never did like me and if she thought she had the slightest chance at getting to me she would snap it up.

“Okay, okay, I’ve got a question,” Avery intervened, her grin too wide for her face as she circled the rim of her glass with her fingertip. “We all know that Austin here is heading to Falton after the summer and you, being the nice, sweet girlfriend that you are, are following right behind him. But tell us… Honestly… Where do you really have you your heart set on going? If it wasn’t for Austin, where would you be going?”

I glanced nervously around the room and finally at Austin, almost wishing I hadn’t. His face fell and an angry look crossed his face.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and shot him an apologetic look. “Winslow. I would go to Winslow.”

Ooohs and oh shits gasped out around me and I hated myself for not being able to lie. People lied all the time but somehow, whenever faced with the choice, no matter how the outcome would affect me, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t lie for shit and that annoyed the hell out of me.

Austin didn’t say a word. He chugged the rest of his beer, eyeing me over his pint glass.

He was angry. Who could blame him for feeling that way? We never really spoke about our plans for college. It was just a given that wherever he went, I went, and I was okay with that. Granted, it wasn’t conventional, and in normal circumstances we should have been able to speak about our dreams together without fearing the other’s opinion or thoughts on the matter. Mostly, we lived in fear of hurting the other person’s feelings, and partly we were so afraid of wanting different things that we pushed our own feelings aside to save ourselves from the hurt they could so easily cause.

Austin wasn’t just my boyfriend; he was my best friend. The only person who never judged me for being different. The only one who didn’t look down his nose at me in disgust. See, I wasn’t like the other girls at school. I was awkward, a little too geeky, and I didn’t wear the latest fashion accessories like most girls my age. I didn’t care much for boys and I didn’t worry about not sporting the latest trend. I was just happy in my own company, living in my own bubble without the need for anything or anyone else. Then Austin came along with his bright blue eyes and brown, shaggy hair, reminding me that I was alive and that I was a person, too.

I was never really sure what he saw in me. I just knew that there must have been something about me that made him like me. What that was, I still hadn’t figured out. And I no longer tried to.

The thought of losing him hurt too much to even think about. So I didn’t. I applied to Falton the day after Austin had told me his plans. I didn’t worry that he wouldn’t get in. That was a given. He was great in everything and any college would be crazy to turn him down. I, however, wasn’t so sure. I’d waited nervously for my acceptance letter, and when it arrived I was deliriously happy.

My thoughts were abruptly pulled away from me as Austin slammed his glass down and stalked across the living room and out of the door.

I ignored the laughter and name calling around me and went in search of him. Austin was standing in the kitchen with his back to me, both hands firmly planted on either side of the worktop.

“You’re mad at me,” I said, as I came up behind him, placing my hand on his shoulder.

“Can you blame me,” he said, shrugging me off, and I flinched, taking a step back.

“What do you want me to say? Please, Austin, tell me how to make this okay?” Tears pricked my eyes but I held them back.

“I can’t do this.”

“What do you mean? Of course you can.”

“No, I can’t.”

“But nothing’s changed. I’m still going to Falton and we’re still going to be together like we planned.” Even as I said the words, I knew they were wrong. Austin was never angry with me. He had always been understanding, and I loved that about him. I could talk to him about anything. Well, anything except college, that was. But lately… Something had changed. Something was different. He snapped at the slightest thing, made excuses to not be around me. He was different. Austin had changed and I wasn’t sure why. I had tried to tell myself that he was just stressing out over college, but I knew that wasn’t the case. He very rarely worried about anything. Except me. He always worried about me. Another reason why I loved him so much. But this wasn’t my Austin.

“Everything’s changed, Lola. Can’t you see that?” he said as he turned to face me. “You should’ve told me that you didn’t want to go. You lied to me, Lo. Me. You lied to me.”

“I know, and I’m sorry, but none of that matters. Nothing’s actually changed. Not really. It’s Avery. You know what she’s like, Austin. She’ll do anything to try to break us. Don’t let her. Don’t let her do this.”

“She’s right. They all are. I’ve been an idiot. Not you. Me. I thought we’d go off to college and everything would be fine. Great, even. And maybe for a week, a month, it would. But then what?”

“Then we’d work through it because that’s what we do. We get through it all together.”

“You know that’s a lie,” he stated. “You’ll end up resenting me for making you choose between your life and me. I won’t let that happen. I can’t.”

“You are my life.”

“No, your life is just beginning. You’re young. You have everything to live for. Don’t hold back. Be fierce. Go out and get everything you want and deserve, because you do... You deserve everything. Don’t let me be the reason you don’t fulfil your dreams.”

When I still didn’t say anything, Austin continued, “Don’t use me as an escape because you’re afraid of facing it alone. You’re stronger than you think. Trust me, I know.”

My heart thumped in my chest as I stared up at the only boy I’d ever loved with wide eyes. “This is ridiculous,” I told him. “Even if I wanted to go to Winslow—which I don’t, by the way—it’s too late. The deadline was weeks ago.”

Austin shook his head and cupped my chin with both fingers, forcing me to look at him. “You’ve already been accepted, Lola. They want you.”

“But… How? What have you done, Austin?”

“I spoke with your parents. They agreed with me that Winslow is the best place for you. We waited until you’d left for your aunt’s then gathered your credentials and papers and sent them away.”

“You went behind my back?”

“I had no choice. You lied to me, Lola. If I thought for a second that it was wrong then I wouldn’t have done it. But we both know I was right.”

“You had a choice. You should have come to me first. You had no right.”

“And have you tell me how ridiculous I was being? That you wanted more than anything to go to Falton? No, I couldn’t,” he said, shaking his head.

“I hate you, Austin. I really fucking hate—”

“No, you don’t. You love me, and I love you. More than anything. Which is why you need to go to Winslow.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“You don’t have to. Not really. Besides, we’re not that far from each other.”

“Two hours is a long way.”

“Not if you take the train.”

“You’ve already researched the time it’ll take us to get to each other?”

“Of course I have. I love you, Lola. I still want us to be together. But your happiness is more important than mine.”

“You think this makes me happy?”

"Turn around," he said.

“What?” I frowned.

“Turn around, Lola.”

When Austin realised I wasn’t going to do as he asked, he came up behind me. I felt his shoulders sag and then something cold pressing against my chest. I glanced down, seeing a beautiful silver locket sitting against my neck.

I touched it as though it would break.

“Wha…?” I tried to speak, but I was lost for words. What was he doing? What did this mean?

“You’re scared. I get it. But you don’t have to be,” he assured me, the corners of his lips tipping into a smile.

Why was he smiling? How could he do this?

“Why are you doing this? You can’t…” I swiped angrily at the tears that had fallen.

“You need this,” he said as he placed his arms around mine and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“You don’t know anything and you don’t get to tell me how I feel. Not anymore.” I shook out of his hold and stormed through the living room.

Avery, obviously having heard everything, stood against the front door with her arms folded across her chest. She was loving every second of it. She’d planned this.

I tried to move past her but she stepped into my path. A smirk spread across her face and I barged her out of the way.

“Don’t worry, Lo. You can always come and visit us. I’m sure there’ll be plenty of parties.”

I halted and turned to face her. “You’re going to Falton?”

Avery raised both brows and her eyes lit up mischievously.

“Of course you are.” I shook my head and carried on walking, wishing I had driven instead of catching a lift. I needed to be as far away from Austin as I could get… even if that meant walking home alone, in the dark.