Winter by Michelle Love (10)

The feeling goes straight down into my lower regions and I feel the ache of another hard orgasm building. Long, hard tugs he takes on my breast and I fall apart. Only this time he comes along for the ride and releases my breast as we both let out hellacious moans.

He rocks against me as our bodies come down off the high mountain top he took them to. I pepper little kisses over his neck and shoulder. Then I place my lips to his ear and whisper the words I know he’s longing to hear, “I love you, Blake.”

The way his body collapses onto mine leaves me with the knowledge he needed to hear those words from me like he needed the air he breathes. His face is the only thing he pulls up, and he looks into my eyes.

His eyes are still dark with emotion. “I love you, Rachelle.”

One sweet kiss he leaves on my pulsing lips. Then he rolls off me, leaving me cold in his wake. To have his body on mine for all eternity is a thing I wish I could have.

Rolling to his side, he pulls me to him, my back to his front, and he runs his arm around my waist. His soft lips touch the back of my neck. “I’m not holding you down, baby. I’m not holding you like you belong to me. I am merely holding you to feel your body next to mine, the way our bodies were meant to be together.”

His words bring something to my heart it had been lacking, though I had no idea it ever was. A sense of companionship. A sense of compassion, and a sense that this man knows me. Inside and out he knows me and he accepts me, big, fat, ugly flaws and shortcomings, and hurtful ways included.

Never have I felt more lucky!

Blake

My mind is peaceful. She is back where she should be. Nestled in my arms and sleeping like a baby.

The urge to kiss her awake and make sweet love to her again I am having to fight. She needs to sleep. The way her eyes looked when I saw her told me she’s had so much sorrow and has beaten herself up over too many things.

My mind told me to turn away from her, but my heart wouldn’t allow that. No matter her transgressions, she still is the only real love I’ve ever known and most likely ever will.

To make her happy is all I can think about. To make her feel my love for her encompasses my every thought, my every movement as I take her into my loving arms. I rushed my need for her before and I will never make that mistake again.

She’s sensitive to my feelings. If she senses I need her too much too soon, she’ll run. If she thinks for one second I’m trying to control her, she’ll bolt. Can’t say I blame her after all she’s went through.

She only really trusts herself to take care of what she wants. Again, who could blame her after her own mother let her down at the most vulnerable time of her life?

I have to wonder what I’m in for. She has two crazy as shit parents after all. I have to wonder if I’m strong enough to handle all which goes with this magnificent woman I hold in my arms.

She stirs and her eyes flicker open and she smiles when she sees me looking down at her as I’ve propped my head on my hand. “Hi,” she says, sleepily.

I kiss her cute little nose. “Hi.”

She turns in my arms and wraps her arms around my neck and snuggles into my chest. I lay back down and cuddle her to me. She feels so tiny and I think how I could never have left her somewhere and just walked away the way her mother did all those years ago.

The fact is if she’d never have run from me. I would’ve never let her go. My heart lurches as I think about her leaving me again.

I stop and push the thought from my head. There are no guarantees in this life. I sure as hell know that. I need to take each day as it comes and enjoy what I have at the moment and not dwell on what might happen tomorrow, or the next day, or even the day after that.

Today, this moment, is all which matters right now. I need to live in this moment and cherish the way her body feels as it conforms to mine. The way her warm breath is falling in waves on my chest. The way my love for her makes me feel.

It’s great that she loves me back. It’s fantastic, actually, but I don’t have to dwell on if she’ll love me forever.

It needs to be enough that I have felt all-encompassing love. If I get more days of this that is more than fantastic. If another never comes for me, well, at least I have felt it.

And that’s what really matters, after all!

Part 6 Intense Luck

Rachelle

Thin rays of pink light stream through a tiny opening in the dark curtains of Blake’s bedroom. His strong arms cradle me and the feeling I’m home is both comforting and scary as hell to me.

Soft kisses on the back of my neck let me know he’s awake and a familiar bump against my back begins to pulse. A low moan he makes and my body fills with heat.

Although we made love more times in the last few days than I can count, I still crave more of this man. He’s gorgeous, sweet, and so very well endowed.

My hand runs over his hip and down his muscular leg as he moves in even closer behind me. I lie on my side in front of him and lean my body back to meet his. He lifts my hair and peppers my neck with sweet little kisses.

“Good morning,” I say with a giggle as his kisses tickle me.

“Good morning to you.” He turns me in his arms and I’m looking into his beautiful, blue, brown eyes.

My stomach tightens as I look into his eyes and find love and freedom in them. His mouth moves over mine and lightly his tongue runs over my bottom lip. I open my mouth and let him come in.

His kiss takes me away from everything, no worries about him leaving me, no fear about what might happen in the future, just pure unadulterated pleasure. My body quickly reacts to his and I press mine to his. The moan he makes lets me know he’s happy with that.

With a quick movement, he turns me over to lie on my back. His knee pushes my legs apart, and he moves his body over mine. I arch up to meet his hard length and find myself moaning as he slides into me.

The way he fills me entirely makes me ache deep inside. My need for him consumes me and I arch up to get him as deep as I can in this position. Slow and steady he takes me.

Tender motions and tenderly he kisses me. I cup the back of his neck and press his mouth harder on mine. His tongue moves against mine with a little more fervor.

Harder he strokes and my heart speeds up as well. His entire body touches mine then he moves it away as he pulls all the way out of me. The absence of his warm body, though only a spilt second, leaves me aching.

He retracts his tongue and moves his mouth to nip at my neck, sending me spiraling towards the end. My nails I drag across his muscled back, making him groan in a sweet agony he returns to me as he bites my neck hard.

My legs start to shake and he pulls back and looks at me.

“Do it,” he says and watches me as I let it all go for him.

Tightly I clench my legs around him as I fall apart and he smiles as I do. My breath comes in waves and it makes him smile even more. He moves harder into me and when it all starts to fade he pounds harder and then stops and pulls out.

A quick flip and I’m on my knees. He fills me again and I cry out as he goes deeper and my body convulses around him. It sends the waning orgasm into a full blown one and I moan and make little mewing sounds as he takes me further into the pleasure zone I am sure only he can.

His large hands hold me by my hips and he jerks me back to meet each hard thrust. My body is shaking as he leans over and bites my shoulder as he stiffens and climaxes, sending heat into me.

I scream a little scream and press back to him, relishing how he pulses deep inside me, sending more heat further into me. Once we both stop making any more movements he lies me down and rolls to the side of me.

He rolls right off the bed and I feel cold. I pull the blanket back to cover me and he comes back to the side of the bed with a little grin on his handsome face. My hair he brushes back and kisses my cheek.

“What do you want to do today, my little, sweet princess?”

Lie around in bed with you all day!

“I don’t know, Blake. What do you want to do?”

He kneels down beside the bed and runs his hand over my cheek. “I only want to make you happy.”

He only wants to make me happy yet my stomach dropped when he said the words. I gaze into his eyes and then I smile despite my internal feelings.

“How about you go to the store and get me some things so I can make a really great lunch. I’m thinking Monte Christos and homemade sweet potato fries.”

“Mmmm,” he moans. “Sounds good. I’ll take a shower and get dressed and you make me a list of what you need.” He stands up and strides his delicious naked body to the bathroom and my mouth waters for more of him.

My cell phone buzzes and I pick it up off the night stand to see my mother has left me a text message. -Your grandfather told me he told you about your father.-

I call her to talk and she answers on the first ring.

“Hi Tabitha,” I say. “I hope you didn’t get too angry with Grandpa.”

“I did, but don’t worry about that,” she says. “I never wanted you to know about Rodney. You see, it was his all-consuming love of me that sent me running from him. And the truth is he got me pregnant on purpose. He wanted me to marry him before we even finished high school. He trapped me, by getting me pregnant. He used a condom, but had purposely poked holes in it. Only his trap didn’t work, and I ran.”

“Wow!” I say as she finally tells me the truth about things. “But why run if he was willing to do right by you?”

“I was eighteen. Not at all ready to marry him or be a parent. He didn’t understand, didn’t care to I suppose. He wanted me and kids and he did what he could to make that happen whether I was in agreement or not.” She makes a long sigh then sniffles. “Your grandfather also told me you’re in Lubbock with some man. I just wanted to let you know that you remind me so much of your father.”

“How? How can I remind you of him, he’s crazy?” I ask in complete confusion.

“You have the same tendency he has to strive hard to get what you want. The cooking degree, you know how hard you’ve worked to get that. And this man you’re with now, well, how deeply do you feel for him?” she asks.

“I love him like I never thought possible to love someone,” I answer. “I feel at home with him.”

Another deep sigh my mother makes then says, “Shelly, that’s bad. It’s not normal to think that much about someone, especially so damn soon. I’m really afraid that if this guy dumps you, like the rest did, you’ll end up like your father, going crazy like he did when I left him.”

“I need to go, Tabitha.” My mind is spinning and I feel as if I might be sick. “Thanks for the talk.”

“No problem, Shelly,” she says. “I just don’t want you to go down the same path your father did. Keep men at arm’s length. Keep your heart guarded. You don’t want to end up living under a bridge like he does. Bye now.”

She ends the call and all my hopes of having a slightly normal life with Blake by my side. I pull the blanket up to cover my now shivering body. Shock and disappointment fill me.

Blake walks out of the bathroom looking like the handsome angel he is and I stop my body from shaking. I manage to put a fake smile on my face and say, “Let me write down what I need so you can run and get that for me, babe.”

With a smile he reaches into a drawer and gets out a pen and some paper. He sits down on the bed next to me and strokes my hair as I write the list that will take him a little while to get.

I need the time to get my things and go. My body aches with every little stroke his fingers make over my head. Mentally, I make note of how this feels, for I will never feel it again.

Blake

I had to go to three stores to find this coconut flour Rachelle needs. I blink as I pull into the driveway and find Rachelle’s borrowed car gone. My heart stops and I rush inside.

Her fucking clothes are all gone!

I look around for anything, a letter or a little note telling me why she left me again. I find nothing and find my knees weak and nearly fall onto the sofa.

With a heavy heart I pull my phone out of my pocket and call Kip. “Hey, mate,” he says as he answers my call.

“Hey, Kip. Um, Rachelle left me again. I’m not going to try to contact her. I have no idea of why she left. We didn’t fight or anything. I just would really like it if you could let me know when she arrives back home safely. That’s all.”

“Sure,” he says. “I’m really sorry, mate.”

“Thanks. Bye, Kip.”

I end the call and go out to get the groceries I bought and now will go to waste as I have no idea of how to use them. I walk with the arm load of bags to Josh’s house and ring the doorbell.

He answers the door. “Hi, Blake. What can I do ya for?”

“I wanted to see if you want these groceries.”

His eyebrows arch up high. “Why’s that?”

“She left me again. I went to get these things she sent me out for and she left. I don’t know how to use any of this stuff. You may as well have them.”

He steps back. “Bring them in and let’s talk.”

I walk inside not wanting to talk. I just want to go to bed and sleep and hopefully I’ll wake up to find this has all been some horrible nightmare.

Rachelle

I’ve been back home two weeks and find myself feeling so empty. Blake hasn’t tried to contact me, not even once. He must hate me and I should be happy about that, but I’m not. I’m miserable.

Instead of heading home after my last class, I’m heading over to cry on Peyton’s shoulder. My mother keeps calling me and talking to me about how I have so much of my father in me and how alike the two of us are.

It’s literally making me sick!

I pull into the driveway and Peyton opens the door and lets Pax walk on his little legs to me. I pick him up and he kisses my cheek and hugs me. I hug his tiny body and nearly cry.

Peyton takes him out of my arms as I get to her and she pulls me into her arms where I promptly fall apart. “I’m a mess without him,” I say as I cry.

“I know you are, sweetie,” she says as she leads me inside.

Loud sobs I make and try hard to stifle them as Kip approaches us and I see him through waves of tears. “How’s our girl?” he asks as Peyton hands Pax to him.

“Not well, but I’m about to get to the bottom of it,” Peyton tells him as she pulls me down the long hallway to the bedroom I always stay in when I come here.

She stops by the kitchen and grabs a tub of chocolate ice cream and two spoons then we go into the room and we climb up on the bed and sit shoulder to shoulder.

Peyton dips a spoon into the chocolaty miracle food and hands it to me. “Eat,” she commands in a soothing tone. “You’ve easily lost ten pounds, girl.”

Somehow I choke down the spoonful and find it spurs me on to eat more. “I haven’t eaten more than a few crackers since I left him.” I sob again. “Why did I do that, Peyton?”

She shakes her head. “You told me your mother, and you have been talking. Now dry up the crying so you can fill me in on all the details and maybe I can help you figure out why you made such a drastic and bad decision.”

Peyton hands me a tissue from the bedside table and I blow my nose, she hands me another and I wipe my eyes. I swallow back the sobs and try to get determined to stop crying so she can help me.

“Okay, I think I’m okay for now,” I say as I shake my head and take another bite of ice cream. “It was going great. No, more than great. Oh, Peyton, the way he makes me feel is out of this world.”

“So why run?” she asks as she scoops out another chocolate mound.

With a deep breath, I say, “Well, it all started when I found out who my real father is. He’s a homeless man whose really crazy and lives under an overpass in my hometown.”

Peyton’s spoon halts in midair and she looks at me. “You have to be shitting me!”

I shake my head and gulp down another bite. “I wish! I went to see him.”

Her hand juts up, and she stops me. “Wait! You went to see a crazy man under a bridge. Why on Earth would you do such a thing and please tell me you took someone with you when you did that!”

“No, Mom! God! You sound like Max and Lexi and Blake!” I shake my head and take another bite. “You know what would go great with this?”

“What?” she asks with a frown.

“Some red wine!” I smile and her frown deepens.

“Well, I can get you some.” She gets up and starts to walk away.

“You won’t be joining me?” I ask in surprise because Peyton is a lover of the grape.

She turns back and has a little grin on her face. “I didn’t want to tell you our news and ruin your tragic moment.”

I jump up and grab her by her narrow shoulders that I have to tiptoe to reach. “Tell me what news?”

“Kip and I are expecting again!”

“You little, no good,” I say then hug her. “You two must’ve been trying, you sneak!”

“It seems that magic night when you and Blake were over here and Pax was with the in-laws worked for me and Kip. I’m under a month pregnant, but we found a test that told us we were.”

I jump up and down and we hug and I pull her back to sit on the bed. “No wine then,” I say. “I could never drink without you. Congratulations!” I pick up a spoonful of ice cream and hand it to her then take mine and fill it then we click them together like a couple of glasses.

Her smile spreads clear across her face and she says, “Thanks. We’re super happy about it.”

“Do you want a girl this time?” I ask.

“You know we just want a healthy baby. Whatever we get, we’ll be good with.” Her genuine smile tells me that she’s telling the truth.

“That’s good. I wish you all the best, Peyt.”

“So, please continue with your story about going to see your homeless dad. And just know I think you’re crazy for going to see him all alone.” She sits back and we resume our positions, leaning our shoulders against the others and munching out on the ice cream.

The bedroom door opens and Kip peeks in. “I heard the screaming. Did she tell you our good news?”

“She did,” I say. “Congrats, Daddy!” I jump off the bed and hug him.

He hugs me back. “We’re pretty happy.”

“As you should be,” I say and pat him on the back then go back to sit with Peyton.

Peyton looks at Kip. “Where’s Paxxie Poo?”

“Napping,” he says then turns to leave.

Peyton looks at me. “Can he stay?”

I nod. “You wanna come talk some sense into me?” I ask him.

He nods and runs back and hops on the bed, stealing Peyton’s spoon and taking a scoop of ice cream. “Fill me in.”

Peyton laughs and says, “Okay, Shelly knows who her father is. He’s a homeless, crazy man who lives under a bridge in her hometown of Round Rock and she went, all by herself to see him.”

Kip frowns and I hold up my hand to stop him before he tells me how crazy that was. “I know I was dumb for doing that. Believe me I know that now.”

“Okay,” he says. “Proceed please.”

“All righty then,” I say and lean back against a mountain of pillows. “So, I went to see him and he knew who I was. He started out reasonably sane, but when I left he threw a bottle of orange juice I gave him at the truck I was driving and I heard him yelling my mother’s name and a barrage of cuss words.”

They both just sit and shake their heads at me. Then Kip says, “See what happens when you deal with crazy people?”

“Yeah, I know,” I nod in agreement. “So, anyway, after hanging and talking with Max and Lexi for a few days, they talked me into going to see Blake and apologizing for leaving him like I did.”

“I suppose he took it well, since you two stayed together at his place for a few days,” Peyton says.

“Yeah, he took it well, and we made up and it was like Heaven. The way he touches me and how he makes me feel so special. His kisses woke me each morning, and they were the last things I felt each night.” I close my eyes and can recall the sensation and my skin burns with the memory.

Kip taps my leg, making me open my eyes. “If it was so special, why’d ya leave, pet?”

“A phone call from my mother brought me back to my awful reality. I’m a person who’s on the edge of crazy and loving him is exactly what would send me over the edge, like it did my father, she told me,” I tell them.

Kip and Peyton exchange a look then Peyton looks at me and says, “Why in the world would you put so much stock into what that woman says?”

“She knows,” I say with a huff. “She knew him and how her leaving drove him to lunacy. She sees that in me.”

Kip rolls his eyes. “From what you’ve told us about your relationship with her, she barely knows ya, sweetheart. Why would ya believe her? She’s only ever hurt ya.”

“I know that. I do, but I can’t hurt Blake like that if she’s right about me.” I hang my head and play with the blanket’s edge.

Peyton’s soft hand touches my chin. “Rachelle, she doesn’t know you. We do and you’re nowhere near the crazy she thinks you could be. You’re not even really self-destructive. You’re just afraid and confused sometimes, but you aren’t crazy.”

“You really think I don’t have those tendencies?”

They both shake their heads and I feel really stupid. Peyton pulls me into her and hugs me. “You should take some time, I suppose. But leaving Blake was a mistake. Do you think you could make him understand everything?”

As I pull back I catch Kip looking at her with a frown. “Why are you frowning, Kip?” I ask.

He looks away then back at me. “Alright. It’ll do no good to pull my punches with ya. You’ve hurt the man so badly it may be too late for you two.”

Though I know what he’s said is true, it still hurts like he’s punched me in the stomach. Peyton hits him in the arm and shrieks, “Kip! Damn!”

“Well, I’m sorry,” he shouts back. “It’s true though. You don’t want her hopes all up, do you?”

“Have you talked to him?” I ask.

He nods and pats my leg. “I have and he was not himself, but he was certain he could take no more. He loves you, but he can’t take anymore.”

My heart fills with something so much worse than sorrow. “So, I’ve ruined it forever then.”

Peyton wraps her arm around my shoulders. “Come on. There are other fish in the sea as they say.”

“I’m not really a lover of fish.” I take a pillow and hug it tight. “I’m better off alone.”

“No you’re not, sweetheart,” Kip says. “But take some time. Heal your wounds and stop thinking all the time that you may go crazy someday. You’re far from it. Well, you’re kinda quick to make drastic decisions, but that’s not really crazy. And ya look gift horses in the mouth a lot. Again, not crazy, just not smart.”

Peyton punches him in the arm again. “Kip! Since when did you get so bad at helping a girl out?”

“I’ll let you two talk,” he says as he gets up and leaves us. “Just don’t go givin’ her any false hopes, love.”

“I won’t,” Peyton says as she waves him off. “And order a pizza for us. Stuffed crust and every meat available on it. I’m dying for one.”

“The cravings, already, love?” he asks her as he opens the door.

“Something fierce,” she answers as she rubs her belly.

He gives her a smile then leaves and I’m left thinking I will never have this. I will never have a husband and child on the way. I will never have anything but a life of solitude and loneliness. All because of my mother filling my head with fears.

Kip

After calling in the pizza order, I find a safe place to call Blake from. I can’t have the women overhearing me. He answers on the first ring. “Hey, Kip. Is everything okay? Is Rachelle alright?”

“She is, mate. She’s here, and we talked to her. It was her mum who had her running this time. The old bat told her she would go crazy like her looney father if she allowed herself to love you,” I tell him.

“That bitch!” he says. “I should call Rachelle.”

“No!” I shout. “Don’t do that. I told her she hurt you too much this time. I told her the chance she had with you was over.”

“What?” he yells. “What if that backfires? Oh, hell, Kip!”

“Listen, mate,” I say as I pace and fear he might be right. “You should’ve seen her face. It was fallen, and she was looking into her head for once. Thinking about what she’d done and how it was not reversible. That’s fantastic!”

“I don’t think so, Kip,” he says, sounding down trodden. “What if she moves on?”

“That’s exactly what I think she needs to do. Go out with another bloke and see how much better you are than any other man.”

His silence is deafening, and he finally says. “Do you really think that’ll work?”

I cross my fingers. “I do.”

“Aw, hell. I guess go for it. See what happens. Something has to make her see she loves me and only me. Maybe if the guys a real jerk or something it’ll show her I’m the man for her,” Blake says.

“Okay, so you aren’t going to call her and I’ll find just the right guy for her to go on a date with who’ll make you look fantastic and she’ll come running to you. Or call you at the very least and beg for another chance.” I laugh and he sighs.

“Okay, let me know how it goes, bye,” he says and we end the call.

I turn and go back to the kitchen just as the doorbell rings. “Pizza man!”

I open the door to find a tall, gangly boy with the pizza I ordered. Peyton and Rachelle come to the door and Peyton grabs the box. “Yes! I’m starving!”

The boy looks around me at Rachelle. “Hi,” he says to her as his cheeks turn pink. “Remember me?”

She looks at him for a few seconds. “Oh, yeah! You worked busing tables at the restaurant I intern at. Kyle, right?”

He nods. “Nice seeing you again.”

“You too. You should come back to work there. We need more hard workers like you,” she says.

“Maybe I will. Did you ever get rid of the stalker?” he asks with a smile.

I turn to her. “You had a stalker?”

She nods. “Blake.”

“I wouldn’t call him that,” I say.

The guy nods. “Oh, I would. The dude followed her into the ladies’ restroom and wouldn’t let her out for like thirty minutes. She was all roughed up when she got free of him. I looked out the back door before she left to be sure he wasn’t going to bother her, the creep.”

“The creep, huh?” I ask as I look at her. “Kept you locked up in the ladies’ room, huh?” Her cheeks turn red and I can just imagine what they did in there for half an hour.

I run my arm around her little shoulders and smile at the kid. Then she says, “Bye, Kyle.”

“Bye to you too, Shelly.”

I close the door and give her shoulders a squeeze. “Now, why on Earth would you tell the people you work with that Blake’s a stalker?”

“I’m obviously an idiot, Kip,” she says with a laugh.

I’m beginning to agree with her!

Blake

“Sure, I’d love to come down there, Max. I’ll get packed up and get Josh to oversee the remodeling while I’m gone. It’s just what I need to get that girl off my mind.

Kip’s going to set her up with some jerk and I hope that makes her realize I’m the one for her. But the thought of her out with another man has been keeping me up at night.”

Max makes a huffing sound then says, “A jerk, huh? Um, I’ll talk to Kip. When you have abandonment issues, you tend to like to have jerks around. Don’t ask me why, because I sure as hell don’t know, but I know I did that to myself. A bunch of real bitches I kept around until I finally let Lexi in.”

“Crap!” I say. “Shit! I knew it was a bad idea. Yeah, call Kip and tell him to find a real nice guy, if he knows any. She’ll run from him like he was a mountain lion.”

Max laughs, but my heart is pounding in my chest. “It’ll be okay, Blake. I’ll take care of it.”

“Okay, let’s talk about something else. Anything else,” I say as I pace around the swimming pool in the back yard.

“Did Kip tell you the good news,” Max asks me.

“What good news?” I stop and listen.

“They’re having another baby.”

My stomach clenches. I have to wonder if that’ll ever happen for me. If Rachelle will ever let that happen for us. “Well, that’s nice for them,” I manage to get out of my mouth.

Max sighs. “Buddy, believe me, I know what you’re thinking. And one day, yes it will happen. And hopefully it’s Rachelle, but it may be another woman.”

I can’t wrap my head around another woman. Not ever. No one could ever make me feel the way Rachelle does. The way her body conforms to mine. Her laugh and mine combine to make the best sound I’ve ever heard.

No, there will never be another woman for me!

“Thanks for the pep talk, Max. I’ll see you tomorrow around noon. Bye.”

“Bye, Blake.”

I put the phone back in my pocket and jog over to see Josh and ask him to watch over things for a few days or so. I knock on the door and he smiles at me as he answers it. He backs up and gestures for me to come inside.

“Hi, Josh.” I walk in and he takes me all the way through the empty house. “Where is everyone?”

“Out shopping.” He opens the back door and I can see the yard has been sectioned off.

“Building something?” I ask.

“A pool,” he says as he grabs a beer out of an ice chest and tosses one to me. He sits on a lawn chair and I take the one near his. “I have to keep up with the next door neighbor or my wife and kids will have my head.”

“Oh crap! Really? I’m sorry, dude,” I say then take a drink of the cold beer.

“Nah, don’t be. This old place needs some help too, just like yours did. The whole neighborhood needs revamped. This subdivision has been here around fifty years. Most of the houses are badly in need of upgrades,” he says.

A lightbulb goes off in my brain. “Hey, you know what? This is exactly the kind of thing Max has talked to me about. Projects I can use some of my money on to help me keep it out of the governments hands and help the things I care about.”

“What are you talking about, Blake?” Josh takes a long sip of his beer.

“A neighborhood beautification fund. I can make one for the whole neighborhood and then everyone can make improvements to their homes, courtesy of my lucky money.” I grin and take another drink of my beer. “A park in that vacant lot would be a great addition as well, don’t you think?”

“Wow! Do you know how great it would be to have this street looking good? Adding a park is a great idea! Do you suppose your remodeling crew could get to it all? I bet they’d give you a great deal if you got them that much work.” Josh stands up and surveys the exterior of his home.

“New, stone or brick exteriors for all the homes would look nice, wouldn’t it?” I ask. Then another light flashes in my head. “How’s that job at that oil field service company going? I know it’s no business of mine, but you sure have been home a lot the last few months.”

“The work has slacked off real bad.” Josh takes a long drink from his beer. “I’m about to have to look into doing something other than what I’ve been doing the last fifteen years. The future in oil looks bleak.”

“Well, I’ll need someone who knows a thing or two to head up something this big. This is, at the very least, a five-year project if it’s to be done right. Don’t you think?” I ask him.

“Maybe I can think of someone who’d be a good candidate for that.” Josh gets his phone out and starts looking through his contacts.

I look over at him. “What’re you doing?”

“Looking at who all I know who might be able to do the job you’re talking about,” he says.

I reach over and put my hand over the phone screen. “How about you, Josh?”

“Me?” he asks with wide eyes. “Well, I don’t know a thing about what you’re talking about.”

“I didn’t know a thing about doing remodeling either, but I learned and I can tell you what I know and you can do some research to find out more. I’m sure I can talk to the boss and get you a hell of a lot more money than your current job is paying you.”

Josh looks confused. “The boss? Who’s that?”

I punch his arm, lightly. “Me, you goof!”

“Oh, I don’t know, Blake.” Josh fidgets nervously. “What if I let you down? I mean, I just can’t… Oh, my what a job though! Boy, everyone in the neighborhood would love me and so would my wife!”

“Yep!” I say and take a long drink then place the bottle on the little table between us. “So, is that a yes, Josh?”

“You know what?” He looks at me and smiles. “That’s a definite yes, Blake. I’m your man!”

“Cool!” I say and grab my beer bottle and tap it to his. “To a long and beautiful association with my right-hand man.”

“Your right-hand man,” Josh echoes. “I won’t disappoint you.”

“I know you won’t,” I say. “Your first job is to finish overseeing the remodel of my home. I’ll show you the specs later and you can quit your job ASAP and come to work for me. How soon can you start?”

“Tomorrow too far away for you?” he asks with a grin. “My company is laying people off left and right. It would be a relief to my boss for me to leave rather than he has to let me go.”

“Tomorrow is great. I’m actually leaving for Houston. I’ll put that off for a few hours so I can get you all set up.” I tap a number for a yearly salary I have in mind for him into my phone’s calculator and show it to him.

His eyes light up. “Blake, you sure? That’s a lot of zeros!”

“Oh, sorry, my mistake.” I pull the phone back and change all the zeros to nines and show him the new number.

His eyes go even brighter somehow. “No way!”

“Damn, you drive a hard bargain!” I pull the phone back to add more money.

He laughs and says, “No! That’s more than enough, Blake! Hell yeah, I’ll be your right-hand man!”

Josh jumps up and does a wacky-ass dance that has me laughing so hard I nearly fall out of the old lawn chair.

Glad I can make some people happy!

Wish it was Rachelle too, but I’ll take what I can get.

Rachelle

Shadows dance across my ceiling as I look up at it and think about Blake. The hour is late and my mind is so tired of thinking about recipes and correct food temperatures and I wish like hell he was holding me in his arms.

All I want is to hear his deep, sexy voice on the other end of my phone. I pick it up off the night stand and look at his name in my contacts list. One push of the button would have me hearing him at the very least telling me to fuck off and that’s better than nothing.

I look longingly at his name. My finger lingers over his name then I nearly throw the damn phone as it rings. It’s my mother’s name that shines, lighting up the dark.

A deep breath I take and answer because who doesn’t take a phone call at three in the morning when a parent calls?

“Hi, Tabitha.”

“Shelly?”

“Yes, it’s me, Shelly. Did you accidentally call me?”

“No, I meant to call you.” She hiccups and I know she’s drunk. “I’m not a well woman.”

I want to say, ‘duh’ but that’s too mean. “No, you’re a little broken, and that’s okay after all you’ve been through. You see Grandpa told me about your mother too, Mom.”

“Mom?” she asks, her voice cracks. “You haven’t called me that since you were three.”

“Well, my mind and heart didn’t agree on calling you that. But now I kind of think you need me. You may not realize it yet, but you do and I need you too.” My heart hurts as I think about her and her mother in a car as it crashes and my four-year-old mom watches her mother pass on right in front of her eyes. “Wanna talk about your mother and that day or night or whatever it was?”

“It was nighttime, and it was so scary, Shelly.” I can hear her take a long drink of something then she inhales deeply and I know she’s sucking on some kind of a cigarette. I keep my comments to myself and just let her talk. “The one thing I hold on to is that she was dead and gone right after it happened. She never screamed or cried. I did though. I wasn’t in pain, but I was just so afraid.”

“Then what happened?” I ask and sit upright in my bed. It’s all I’ve been wanting to hear from her.

After another long drag off of the thing she’s smoking, she says, “Well, a man broke the windshield and some of the glass glanced across my skin. It stung, and I looked down as I cried that’s when I saw all the blood. I was covered in blood from the waist down. It’s odd I never felt it until I saw the blood.”

“What was wrong?” I ask and sit up more, leaning over and holding my knees in my arms.

“Something had flown around in the car as we rolled over and over again. It must’ve clipped me just above my thighs. I was cut deep. I still carry those scars.” She giggles. “That’s why I never wear short, shorts, even though my legs are to die for!”

I find myself laughing a little too. “Did you have surgery or just stitches?”

“Not real sure,” she says. “A lot went blurry after that. A man with jet black hair released my seatbelt. I have to say that my mother always made sure she and I always wore our seatbelts even though it wasn’t the law back then.”

“I’m sure it’s been hard to remember for you. When did you start to miss her?” I ask and listen intently.

A long pause she makes. Her voice goes so soft I can almost not hear her. “The moment I saw her head hanging. The moment the four-year-old I was realized my mother was gone. That’s when I started missing her and I still do to this very day. It took a part of my soul. The part that loves, trusts, and believes this is a real life.”

“But this is a real life, Mom,” I whisper.

“You sure, Shelly?” she asks then I hear her take another three gulps of whatever she’s drinking. “I’m not so sure.”

The idea I have so many crazy genes running through me makes me afraid, but I swallow hard and say, “I am sure, Mom. This is real life.”

“Hmm, I wonder all the damn time,” she murmurs. “It’s kinda like my life stopped then, when I lost her. Is that what happened to you when I left you?”

My heart stops. I never thought I’d get to talk to her about how I felt about that time in my life. “Yeah. Momma, what happened?”

“Drugs, alcohol, and the fact you reminded me of your father and my mother.” Another long drag she makes. “You have to know you were conceived with love. Your father and I loved the fucking hell out of each other. If it wasn’t so hard to love, I would’ve stayed with that man forever. We could’ve been a family, us three. That’s what he wanted, and I did too at that time.”

“You said he fooled you, Momma. You said he poked holes in his condom.” My words come so soft I pray she hears them.

“Truth!” she says with a loud voice. “Truth time, right? Okay, here it is! You were a planned baby! I wanted you, your daddy wanted you! He didn’t fool me, I fooled him. Or so it seemed at that time. When I found out I had a baby in me, well, I freaked.”

“I get it. I do,” I say. “It’s like you knew you couldn’t do right by the baby, right?”

“Right!” she says with an excited voice. “I knew you’d end up with your daddy’s brains. He was so fucking smart and so damn handsome. God, we loved each other, and I had to mess us all up.”

“You know, Mom, there are people who you can talk to that can help you. What you went through, losing your mother and in the way you did is traumatic. It messes with your mind and we need help to get past it and make our lives better,” I tell her and myself at the same time.

I’ve been talking to the friend of Peyton’s some. The truth is I haven’t been really letting her in. It’s what I do with everyone, I let them in just enough, but not all the way.

It’s time I follow my own advice and do some real talking with the person who can help me the most. My mother is crying on the other end of the line and I feel terrible for her and wish I was there to hold her and tell her it’s all going to be okay.

“You know, Shelly, even if I do get someone to help me, I think it’s just too late. The fact I have to see what I did to your father, alone, is enough to make the guilt flow through me like a raging river.” She goes silent for a little while.

Finally, I ask, “Mom, you still there?”

“I am,” she answers. “I wish it was so simple. I wish everything was simple. It seems it’s been so long that things have been so messed up in my head that it can’t be fixed. I can’t be fixed. Anyway, sorry I took up so much of your time and it’s late. I suppose you have that school thing in the morning and here I am just going on and on.”

“Mom, I’m really happy you called, and that we talked about this stuff. Thank you so much for this. You can’t imagine how bad I needed to hear all this.” I pause to wipe a tear off my cheek. “Maybe I could get Rodney some help too. Where are his parents?”

“They died in a house fire along with his younger brother. It was your father who accidentally started the fire. He was drunk and as he left the house late at night while everyone else was sleeping he knocked a candle over. He knew he did it and in his drunken state he didn’t think about what would happen if he left it burning on the carpeted floor,” she says then sighs deeply. “Another bunch of people’s lives affected by my choices and screw ups. He and I had talked on the phone. I was pregnant with you and had run. It was the first time we’d talked since I’d left.”

“It still wasn’t your fault that happened. It was his and his alone,” I tell her.

“It was mine. He told me nice things, and I told him mean things. I didn’t have to be like that,” she says. “I accept the responsibility of the things I’ve done. I carry the burden which is mine to bear.”

“You carry way too much burden, Mom,” I say and find more tears trailing down my cheeks. “Let some of it go. Give some of it away.”

“Easier said than done, sweetheart,” she says. “The burdens have been with me longer than any person has. They are my company when I’m alone. They are my family, so to speak. And they are always with me. The alcohol and drugs take them away for short periods of time, but they never leave for good. I sober up and they become stronger than they were before. Seems they taunt me at times.”

“Mom, the degree of how unhealthy this is, is not measurable. You need to get help and I intend to see that you do. That we both do and I intend on seeing what can be done about getting Rodney into a facility and out from under that damn bridge. Mark my words, within one year the three of us will be on the road to getting some kind of help out of this madness we’ve been put in.”

I grab a tissue, blow my nose, then get up and go towards the bathroom to wash my face and get rid of this defeatist attitude I’ve had since I was three. My mother laughs.

“Okay, dear. We’ll see. I’ve kept you long enough. Good night.”

“Good night, Mom. I love you.”

She’s silent for a second as she’s never told me those words and the only time I’ve told them to her I was throwing them at her in anger. “I love you too, Shelly. Bye.”

Blake

Sun shines through the windshield as I drive to Houston to do a little mind mingling with Max about what it is I should do with my money. I have Josh as my right-hand man now and he’s already hard at work, figuring out how to handle the neighborhood renovation plan.

Now that I have some idea about what I can do to make things better for some people and keep some of my money going to things like that instead of the horrible taxes, I can concentrate on investments. I have to make money from my money so I can keep having money after all.

My cell dings and I look over at it, but don’t pick it up. I’ll check it the next time I stop. And since I see a little store right here. I’ll stop.

Damn my curiosity!

I pull up to the gas pump. I may as well get some gas while I’m here. My body seems to be tingling for some odd reason as I pick up the phone.

There it is. A message from her. After a mere three weeks she’s finally contacting me. I almost don’t want to read it.

I tap her name and the message springs onto the screen. ‘I’M SORRY.’

She’s sorry. Hmm. So, what does that mean?

I have no idea of what to send back. No idea what I want to say or how I even feel about this. She is sorry. Well, so am I.

I pull away without getting any gas. My mind has gone numb. There’s not a doubt in my mind that she is sorry, but that’s not enough.

Is she done running from the things that are good for her?

Is she through with the nonsense that one day she might lose me so it’s better not to have me at all?

Is she no longer a tiny bit insane?

These are the kinds of things I need to hear from her. Sorry is a start, but only one little part of what I need to hear from her.

I could pick up the phone and take her back right this second and in less than a week we will be at this same exact place again. She has to be without me for a while. She has to feel the need and want I know she has in her for me.

To pick that phone up and call her is all I want to do right now. My hands are fidgeting all over the steering wheel and my eyes keep being drawn to the phone that lies on the passenger seat of my truck.

With a quick movement, I grab the phone and toss it in the back seat so I can’t see it. I can’t get to it if it rings or dings with another message from her.

If it’s the right thing to do, why does it hurt so damn bad?

Part 7 Born Lucky

Rachelle

Click clack, click clack! That’s all I can hear as I walk down the sidewalk away from the movie theater. We watched a sappy love story and I want to choke somebody!

It’s been a month since I’ve seen Blake. I sent him one text message telling him I was sorry, and he didn’t even send anything back. Not even a get fucked or a fuck you or anything!

A new guy came to work at the restaurant I’m interning in and he’s from London. He has this great accent, and he’s tall with dark hair he keeps cut really short. His eyes are blue, not a speck of brown in them. Plain old blue eyes and a plain old face with not much emotion on it.

Except when he looks at me. Shaun has been hounding me to go out with him since he walked through those kitchen doors three weeks ago. I haven’t been up for dating since my heart belongs to Blake, but my mind is refusing to allow anything to happen on that front.

Now Blake has turned a cold shoulder to me and Shaun has been heating up every chance he gets. I finally agreed to go to dinner and a movie with him. He took me to eat Chinese then we went to see the love story and now he’s walking me back to my car.

I refused to let him pick me up, still keeping people at a distance. He was understanding about that though. Something Blake never really could understand.

No pressure is what this guy keeps telling me. But the way his hand just grabbed mine and judging by how much closer he moved towards me that’s about to change.

The keys from my purse I grab and press the button to unlock my car. His hand leaves mine and I make a sigh of relief. But he just moved it to lay his arm around my shoulders and now my chest is getting all tight and I itch for some damn reason.

“Let’s don’t wrap this up yet,” Shawn says. “How about a drink at that bar we passed back there? Just one, no pressure.”

“I really shouldn’t have a drink then drive home, that’s irresponsible,” I say and keep going towards my car.

He’s bigger than I am and easily stops my progression. His hand touches my chin and I look up at him as he says, “Shelly, one drink isn’t going to affect you that much. I have seen you put away three glasses of wine after work then drive home.”

“Well, those were really bad days, and I was trying to forget about some things. It was a bad idea to do. I really just want to go home and pull my clothes off and climb into my bed,” I say and by the way his eyes light up I realize what I said and wish I could gobble those words back up.

With a grin he says, “Even better. I’m in!”

I laugh and pull away from him. “Poor choice of words, Shaun, that’s all that was. I meant alone, I’ll be getting into bed. Thanks for the dinner and the movie. I had a nice time.”

My hand touches my car door and I’m nearly home free. Then his body touches mine and he clears his throat. He takes my shoulders and turns me back to face him.

His eyes are soft and I know he’s about to kiss me. “I had a very nice time, Shelly. Tell me we can do this again soon.”

“We’ll see,” I say and try to end this night without a kiss. “No pressure, right?”

“A little pressure,” he says and touches his lips to mine, gently.

Shaun’s lips are full and soft and most women would probably love the way they feel. I am not one of them. Maybe because they aren’t Blake’s. I pull back and swallow hard.

“Thanks again, good night, Shaun.” I turn away to open my car door.

He spins me back around and kisses me hard. His tongue pushes into my mouth and he tastes like popcorn and coke, it’s awful. I allow him to kiss me for a little bit to see if I really do hate it as much as I think I do.

With a swirl of his thick tongue he proves he is not the guy for me. I pull back. “Okay, then. Good night, Shaun. Lovely evening, bye!”

“Really?” he asks as I get into the driver’s seat. “Nothing? You felt nothing at all, Shelly?”

“Sorry, I did warn you that I’m not really up to dating right now.” I strap on my seatbelt. “Let’s try not to make things weird at work, okay?”

“You won’t be going out with me anymore, will you?” He leans on my door and looks inside as I toss my cell phone on the passenger seat. The screen lights up and Blake’s precious face fills the screen.

He’s my screen-saver. And, yes, I know that’s sad of me!

“So that’s him, huh?” Shaun asks as he points at my phone.

“Who, that guy?” I ask. “He’s just a random hot guy I used as a screen-saver, nothing more than that.”

“You sure? Because you kiss like a woman who felt she was doing something wrong. Perhaps you felt as if you were cheating on him. What’s his name, Shelly?” His hand trails over the top of my thigh and he looks at me, intent on finding out who the man on my phone is.

“He’s someone I hurt, and he wants nothing more to do with me. So his name is unimportant. See you tomorrow, Shaun.” I move his hand and press my palm to his shoulder, making him get out of the way so I can close my door and leave.

As I pull out of the parking lot tears sting my eyes and I want to slap myself. Thinking I could go on a date with so much of myself still tied up in Blake and how I feel for him was a mistake.

I wonder how long it will take me to forget about him and get on with my life?

Blake

I wonder how long it will take me to forget about her and go on with my life?

Like a fool, I stare at the words on my cell phone, ‘I’M SORRY’ until I can’t focus anymore. It’s been a month since she left me. Her scent still lingers on the pillow she slept on.

Okay, I know I’m weird and gross for not washing it yet!

I have to get out of this house today and do something positive with myself. The last few days have been hard for some reason. I look at the last thing Rachelle sent to me nearly every damn day. The last few days, I’ve taken it out and looked at it many times.

The urge to text back is taking me over. Max and Kip have given me the advice of staying strong and not contacting her. They said she should take some time.

Only thing is, Kip told me she was going to go on a date with a British guy she works with and that’s eating me up inside. What if she likes him? What if that ends any chance we have to get back together and get married and have kids and a dog?

We’d name the dog, Rufus, and he’d go with us everywhere.

I’ve been living way too much in fantasy land here lately.

There are two more days until the reunion at Max’s foster parents’ home. I used some of my money to make a donation and the children’s home used it to make upgrades on all the houses and added in playground equipment.

The house parents are throwing a reunion party for all the past people who spent time with them. Rachelle has most likely been sent an invitation, but I doubt she’d go.

That would be a normal thing to do and she’s not into doing normal things!

Her old foster parents might ask her how she’s been doing, and she’d find that invasive at the very least. No, Rachelle is a closed book. She’d never go to a reunion like that. Not in a million years.

My cell phone rings and I nearly throw it as I was looking at it so hard. It’s Max so I answer it, a little sad it’s not her. “Hey, Max.”

“Hey, Blake. What are you up to?”

Should I tell him the truth? Nah, that’s just too pathetic.

“Just thinking about what I can do with this beautiful day. You?” I ask, opting for a more normal thing to say I’m doing.

“I’m thinking about taking a cruise in my chopper and wanted to know if you wanted me to pick you up and bring you back here to Houston. Lexi took the kids and went to visit her parents for the week. I would’ve went too, but we have that reunion in just a few days and you and I have to make an appearance at that since we donated the money to make all the improvements.”

“That sounds cool! I’ve been wanting to take a ride in that beast. Any chance you’ll ever teach me how to fly, Max?”

“I taught Kip, I can teach you too, if you want.”

“Cool! I’ll be ready. There’s an empty lot that’s been all cleared out to make a playground for the neighborhood. I bought it, so it’s safe for you to land there. See you soon then.”

“Okay, see you soon, Blake.”

I end the call and suddenly feel a lot better about life in general. Placing the phone in my back pocket, I make a promise to myself not to look at that damn text Rachelle left me for the remainder of this week, at least.

I have to put that chick behind me once and for all!

Rachelle

A loud knock wakes me up. The sun is streaming in my bedroom window. A quick glance at my phone tells me it’s ten in the morning. I wonder who’s here.

Pulling a robe on, I make my way to the door just as the person on the other side knocks again. “Shelly!” Peyton’s voice calls out.

I open the door and find Peyton and Pax standing at the door with a bag full of something. “Morning.”

Peyton comes in as I stand back and Pax grabs my leg and hugs it. “Hewo, Aunt Chewi.”

Pax’s little Elmer Fud speech impediment is too cute. I pick him up and hug him tight. “Hello to you too, Mr. Paxie Poo!” I leave a kiss on his chubby cheek and he giggles.

Peyton is unloading the bag of breakfast on my little table. “I picked up omelets for us and pancakes for my big boy.”

“How sweet,” I say as I take Pax and place him in a chair at the table and grab us some orange juices out of the fridge. “What’s the occasion?”

Peyton gives me a look that tells me to cut the bullshit. “Duh! The big date. I want details, Shell.”

I sit down and open the Styrofoam lid and check out the food. Presentation is appalling, but the green and red bell peppers are yummy looking. I take a bite and grab a little cup of the salsa to add to it.

“Not much to tell,” I finally say as Peyton stares at me. “I won’t be doing that again for a long time. If ever again.”

“The guy an ass or what?” Peyton asks as she cuts up Pax’s pancakes and he runs his fingers in the syrup and licks them. “Really Pax? You couldn’t wait for Mommy to help you?”

He shakes his little blonde head and smiles as he continues to lick his chubby, little fingers. “Mmmmm,” he moans.

“The guy was nice. He’s great really. I’m not ready, that’s all,” I say and take another bite of my food.

“Call him, Shell,” Peyton says then takes a bite of her eggs and makes a face then grabs three cups of salsa and some cheese and dumps them all over the omelet. She takes another bite and nods. “Not nearly as good as yours, but what can I do? You won’t come work for us, so I’m forced to eat crap.”

“I’ve had worse. Thank you, by the way. And call who?” I ask as I get up and get a wet cloth to de-sticky young Pax.

“Don’t act as if you have no idea who I’m talking about. You don’t fool me. So, if the date went bad, why not call Blake?”

“Because I didn’t tell you this because it’s humiliating,” I sit back down and take Pax’s hand and try to clean it as he tugs it, trying to place it back in the syrup. “I texted him, telling him that I was sorry and he never responded. I messed up too bad this last time. He’s done with me.”

“I can’t believe you kept that a secret, Shell. I could’ve asked Kip to make sure Blake got the message. There is a chance he didn’t get it, you know.” She takes another bite and makes a face. “Please come work for us or at least teach me to cook.”

“I’ll teach you to cook,” I say and she frowns. “I know you’d rather pay me to do it, but you should learn anyway. Never know when you may need the skill of cooking to take care of your growing little family you know.”

“Well, text him again. Just say you wanted to see if he was having a nice day or something like that. It doesn’t have to be any more than a friendly reminder you still walk this Earth.” Peyton got up to get another wet cloth to clean her son up with. “Remind me to never give this child anything with syrup ever again.”

“Syrup!” Pax shouts and puts his hand back in the sticky liquid. “Yummy!”

I laugh and say, “Another real treat is how he’s going to be bouncing off the walls once that sugar hits him. You will be leaving soon, won’t you?”

“Not a chance. We plan to hang out with you the whole day. I have noticed your eyes are a little swollen. Is that because the movie you saw was a tear jerker?” she asks me with a knowing look.

“Sure, that’s why,” I say. “It definitely isn’t because I cried all the way home and half the night. That would be pathetic and I’m anything but that. Right?”

“You aren’t pathetic, Shelly. Stubborn, bull headed, but not pathetic. So why not give Blake a little shout out?” Peyton picks Pax up and surveys the syrupy damage. “I’m afraid I need to borrow your bathtub.”

We make our way to clean the kid up and I say, “I can’t take the rejection again. It’s too much for me to handle. With all the emotional turmoil of last night, I don’t want another day of stomach pain and burning eyes. It’s best to leave it all alone. One day I’ll get over him.”

“Bet you don’t. I thought the same thing about Kip. There I was pregnant and way too proud and stubborn to even let him know he was going to be a father. I thought I had it all handled. Did I cry most nights? Well, sure I did, but I wasn’t going to let him know I missed him and needed him.” Peyton strips the clothes off her wiggly kid.

I turn on the water and pour some bubbles in it for him. I have some bubbles for when I babysit him on the rare occasions they need me to. Pax points and laughs at the bubble on the label that has a smile on its face.

“Bubbles! Yea! I wuv bubbles!” Pax climbs into the bathtub on his own and starts blowing the bubbles off his little hand.

The noise of the water has us shouting to be heard over it and the delighted screams Pax is making as he plays with the magnificent invention, the bubble.

“So did you let the Brit kiss you?” she asks.

I nod. “It was not good.”

“Really? I thought he’d be a great kisser. He’s handsome and tall and well built. Are you sure it was him who was the bad kisser and not you?” She nudges my ribs with her elbow.

“He’s probably a fine kisser. I have issues. Too many damn issues.”

“Damn issues! Haha,” Pax squeals.

Peyton raises her eyebrows. “Kip’s going to know that was you.”

“Man! He’s going to read me the riot act. Dang issues, Paxxi. Say it. Dang issues.”

Paxxie laughs and the little two-year-old smiles like he’s done something so great. “Damn issues, Aunt Chewi! Haha!”

I shake my head. “Tell Kip I’m sorry.”

Peyton laughs. “Don’t sweat it. Kip dropped the ‘F’ bomb as he was watching a Rugby game and Pax picked it up.”

“Oh, that’s so much worse than what I said!” I laugh and Peyton sighs.

“Where is your old man anyway?” I ask as they are nearly inseparable.

“He and Bobby are at some new recording studio. They’re checking it out so they can make one at our place. So I was left on my own and came to find you to bug all day, so I won’t be bored and eat. This baby has me hungry all the time.”

“Thanks for coming over. I do need some company. I’ve been needing someone to help me make a decision about an invitation I got in the mail last week.” I leave the bathroom and go get the letter.

I hand it to her and let her read it. “It’s from your old foster parents. Have you seen them since that brief stay you had there?”

I shake my head and she looks back at the paper. “I’m torn about going. On one hand I think it would be good therapy for me to revisit the place I lost so much of myself at. But then again I worry about breaking down as I walk back through the house that seemed so alien to me when I was three.”

“That would be traumatic to the other children wouldn’t it?” she asked.

“It would and I’m not sure I can contain the raw emotions I get when I even think about those feelings I had back then. I blocked it for so long, it’s something that’s still sore in me.”

Peyton touches my shoulder and strokes my hair. “You should go. Face what you fear so you can see it’s just a thing. Things can’t kill you. They can hurt only as much as you allow them to.”

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe it would be better for me to go. I’d like to thank the people who were so nice to me in that tough time.” I look at Pax and wonder how in the world things can get so bad people could bring themselves to give their precious little children away.

Peyton gets a grin on her face. “I’ll talk to Kip. He can fly us to my parent’s house in Smithville. You can borrow my old Jeep that’s still there and drive down to the tiny town it’s in. It’ll be fun. We can make a whole weekend out of it. Give you time to go visit your grandparents and your mother if she’s still at their place.”

“That’s a lot of visiting in the matter of a few days, don’t you think?” I ask as I’m not sure about going.

“It’s better that way. Inundate yourself in the things that make you uncomfortable. Soon enough, you’ll find comfort wherever you are.”

I hope she’s right!

Blake

Max and I arrive in grand style to the reunion at the little children’s home. His helicopter is gorgeous and the children run to see it as we land. Max has promised to give every kid who wants to, a ride in the chopper. The kids are already forming a line.

Max laughs as he turns it off and we get out. “You’ll have to wait just a little while. I have to say hello to the people who raised me first.”

We make our way through the kids who all shout hellos as they welcome us. One little boy tugs at my pants leg. I look down to find a little dark haired boy who looks to be about three smiling up at me.

He holds his arms out and I pick him up. “And who do we have here?” I ask him.

“Toby,” he says. “Did you make my swing?”

“I bought your swing. You must like it,” I say and touch the tip of his cute little nose.

“I love it! Wanna push me on it?”

“Max, I’ll catch up with you later. Seems little Toby here needs some help on a swing,” I call out to Max who’s riding a wave of kids to the house his foster parents live in.

I came here the one time with Max to give the people who run this place the donation we made. But I didn’t get to interact with any of the children. I find it funny I don’t really know what things I should not ask.

I give the little boy a push. “So how are you liking it here?”

“Fine,” he says as he giggles. “I was scared at first, but now I’m fine.”

“How old are you, buddy?”

“Almost four. Thanks for pushing me, mister.”

“My name’s Blake. You can call me that, Toby.”

The little guy is so brave and I find myself thinking about the first day he got here. He said he was scared and my heart nearly broke apart with the thought.

The smell of burgers cooking on an open pit waft past my nose and I remember that I haven’t eaten anything all day. “Wanna go get a burger with me, Toby?”

“Sure,” he says and I stop the swing so he can get off.

He takes my hand immediately and my heart skips a beat. Man, I’d take this kid home with me if I could. What a little dude!

The man at the pit who’s handing out the burgers gives me a smile. “Hey there. You must be Blake. Thanks for helping us make all this happen for these kids, son.” He hands me a burger and I hand it to Toby.

The kid takes a big bite and a little ketchup gets on his cheek. I grab a napkin and wipe it off. With a mouth full of food, he says, “Thanks, Blake.”

“I’m Mr. Strickland, kind of like the principal at this place. I keep the peace. Well, I try to anyway.” The older man hands me another burger then points. “Over there you can find some chips and drinks. Have a good time.”

The little kid and I stroll over the direction he sent us and grab the other things then find a seat at a big table full of children. They all smile at me as I take a seat next to my new best bud, Toby.

A little girl with glasses and red curls looks timidly at me from across the table. “You are Mr. Chandler, right?”

“I am. And your name is?”

“Sally.”

Toby takes a drink of his soda and tells her, “He’s my new best friend. I get to call him Blake.”

Sally looks away and seems a little sad for some reason. “Hey, why don’t you all call me Blake? Mr. Chandler sounds like some old guy.”

The little girl smiles and takes a bite of her hotdog. With just a little smile she melts my heart. I’m going to have it rough hanging around this place with so many adorable little kids.

One of the older boys with short blonde hair asks. “So you gotta helicopter too like Max?”

With a shake of my head, I say, “Nah. I’m kind of new to this having lots of money thing. I haven’t even bought me a giant house yet. I still live in the same one I grew up in.”

The kid says, “Man, if I was rich I’d have me a hot wife and a huge mansion and a helicopter. Just like Max does.”

“He does know how to live, doesn’t he?” I ask the kid.

“Yes, he does.” The boy walks by as he leaves the table. He pats my back. “So you don’t have a chopper or the big house yet. How about the hot girlfriend?”

Damn! How do I tell all these little adoring kids that I don’t even have that?

Rachelle

Wind whips through my hair as I drive Peyton’s Jeep with the top off. The weather is beautiful and I need the pleasant distraction from all the thoughts that are flying through my head.

The turn to the children’s home I make and soon find the little road that I ran down as a little kid, trying to go find my mother. My chest is a little tight but not too bad.

Max will surely be here and I can lean on him and Lexi if I have to. Kids are everywhere as I go around the corner and the circle of houses comes into my view.

I was so young I don’t remember any of this. I park and put the keys in my pocket and look around for Max. The tall, handsome man should stick out like a sore thumb around here.

The sound of chopper blades cutting into the sky make me look up and there’s Max, with a kid hanging out the side of the machine in the seat he invented. He lands and someone runs up and gets the kid out of all the harnesses that hold him into the seat.

Little screams of laughter fill my ears as the chopper goes quiet. I turn to see what little kid is so happy and what is making them that way.

My heart stops.

Why is he here?

Blake is turning in circles as a little boy flies through the air. The kid is smiling nearly as much as Blake is.

I have to lean against the Jeep to steady myself as my knees have decided to give out. It’s been a little over a month since I’ve seen that handsome face. That hair that hangs to his broad shoulders.

My hands clench into fists as I fantasize about the last time we were together. The way he touched me, the way he kissed me, the way he loved me.

And all I did for him was to leave him.

In an instant my body goes hot and my face has to be fifty shades of red as he looks up and his eyes meet mine. I can’t seem to look away. But he does, and he turns away too and walks away with the little kid in tow.

I can’t go in there now. I can’t face all this and the fact Blake hates me now too. Then an arm falls over my shoulders and warm lips kiss my cheek. “Hey there, sweetie. I’m so glad you decided to come.”

Max moves me along with him towards the place where so many people are hobnobbing with each other. That’s not my ideal place to be. Add a man who wants nothing to do with me in and it becomes a place of night mares.

“Max, why’s Blake here?” I manage to get to come out of my mouth. “I had no idea he’d be here.”

“He donated quite a large sum of money for the improvements. So of course they wanted him here for the celebration. Did he see you?” he asks as we walk up to some man and I’m handed a hot dog.

“He did, then he walked away. I guess he hates me.” I take a bite of the hotdog and chew it mindlessly.

A little girl touches my leg and I look down to find her red curls in cute dog ears. “Hey, lady.”

“Yes, can I help you with something?” I ask.

“Yes, can you reach me a Dr. Pepper? They’re in the very bottom of the ice chest and I can’t reach it.” She takes my hand and leads me to a table with several large ice chests on them.

Max follows along. “After you do that I want to take you inside to meet the people who took care of you that few weeks when you were little, Shelly.”

“Okay,” I stuff the rest of the hotdog in my mouth and reach into the freezing water and dig around until I find the drink the little girl wants. “Here you go. I’m sorry, what’s your name?”

“I’m Sally. Thanks lady.” She takes the coke and pops it open.

“You can call me, Rachelle,” I tell her and she smiles.

“You’re really nice, Rachelle.”

I give her a half smile because I know at least one man here who would disagree with her. I scan the area and find Blake pushing, the same little boy he had been spinning around, in a swing. I look away as Max takes my arm and leads me towards the house.

Looking hard at everything, I say, “I remembered the road on the way in. The way the trees covered it. I remembered that, but I don’t recall any of this.”

“They did a massive overhaul of the place thanks to me and Blake. I doubt any of the house is what you would remember. How are you doing so far?” He opens the door for me and I walk inside.

“I’m okay. I’ll be fine. I hope so anyway,” I mutter as I walk inside and see an old couple sitting on the sofa.

Max gives them a smile and says, “This is Rachelle.”

The old woman smiles. “I remember her, Randy. Come sit and tell me how you’ve been. I’ve talked to your young man several times. What a blessing he has been to this place.”

“He’s not my young man,” I say and look up to find Blake and the little boy coming into the house.

“And why’s that, sweetie?” she asks me.

He’s looking straight at me and I can’t take my eyes off him. “Yeah, why is that?” Blake asks me.

Blake

Sitting side by side in the swings, Rachelle and I sit in silence. “Why’d you follow me out of there if you don’t want to talk?” I ask her.

Her small shoulders shrug. I can’t take the silence from her anymore. I get up and walk away. I want to look back so bad to see what she’s doing, but I won’t let myself.

“Blake!” she shouts.

I look back and she’s coming towards me. Tears spill over her pink cheeks and she breaks into a run and throws herself into my arms. Wrapping her arms around me, she buries her head in my chest.

Her hair is soft and falling free to her small waist. I run my hand over it. “Shh, it’s okay, Rachelle. You don’t have to cry.”

“I didn’t know you’d be here. I would’ve never come if I would’ve known.”

Her words hit my heart like ice and I push her back, gently. “I’ll leave if it hurts you this much.”

Watery eyes look up at me. “Please don’t.”

“You are a very complex person, baby. I’d ask you what you want me to do, but I know even you don’t have a clue what you want.”

“Do you hate me?” she asks with her dark brows furrowed.

“I could never hate you. Am I mad at you? Now that is a hell yeah! I’m mad as hell at you, Rachelle. How could you send me off to the store to get things and come home to find you gone?” I let her shoulders go and take a step back. “I felt like a dumb dog that was dumped on the side of the road.”

“I’m sorry,” she says as she looks down. “That was cruel in hindsight, but I had just talked to my mother and she made me so afraid of the love I felt for you. I felt I had no choice but to do it that way. I could never leave if I had to look at you as I did it.”

“Maybe that’s because you love me and should have stayed with me. You have me gun shy now. I don’t know if I could do it all over again with you.” I shut my mouth as I really didn’t know that was going to come out of it.

I want her back!

“I don’t expect you to, Blake. What I did was too horrible. I know that. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me is all I ask. Not take me back or anything. I know you could never trust me again after what I did.” With the last word she looks at me. Her eyes are so sad.

“We should talk. Don’t you think?”

She nods and I wrap my arm around her shoulders. It’s warm outside, but she’s shivering. What all this young woman has been through and here I am putting her through more.

“What if I told you that I forgive you?”

“It would be a start at me forgiving myself. It’s so hard to know what the right thing to do is. You see, I believe you deserve the best. The very best woman in the world is who you deserve and I, well, I’m not the worst, but I’m so far away from the best.” A shudder runs through her.

“Why can’t you realize you are all I want, all I need? You are exactly the person I deserve and guess what, baby, you deserve me too.” I tighten my arm around her and walk towards the parking lot. “Did you come here in that Jeep?”

“Yeah, it’s Peyton’s. Kip flew us to Smithville, and I borrowed it and drove it the three hours down here.”

I pull her closer to me. “There’s a town a little bit bigger than this about ten miles or so to the south. I saw it when we flew in. What do you say to me getting us a room in that town and maybe something to eat and drink? We could stay the night together and hash some of this out.”

Her body tenses and she looks everywhere but at me so I decide to give her an out. But wait to see what she says. “That actually sounds fantastic, Blake. We could drive back to Smithville in the morning and Kip could drop you off where ever you want with his helicopter.”

Leading her to the Jeep, I kiss the side of her head. “Go ahead and get in, I’ll just be a minute while I go tell Max what I’m doing and then we’ll be off. Unless you want to come in with me and say your goodbyes.”

With a shake of her head, she says, “No, I’ll wait in the Jeep. With my crying I must look like crap and I’m kind of emotionally spent right now. Tell Max I’ll see him on Sunday for a while as Kip plans on stopping by before we make our way back to Los Angeles.”

I nod and take a few steps then stop and look back at her. “Wait! Kip knew he was bringing you down here to go to this thing, right?”

“Yes, why?” she asks.

“Oh no reason. Hold on! I’m sure Kip talked to Max and made arrangements for the visit on Sunday. Do you know if he did?”

“Yeah, Kip talked to Max. Max knew I was coming here. OMG! They hid it from us!” Her eyes go bright and shiny and she giggles.

My heart fills with the sound and I smile. “Rat bastards, they are. I’ll be right back.”

As I walk away I realize there is a huge chance I will walk back to this very spot and find her gone. I have to give her this chance to leave if she wants to.

If she does leave, this will be the last chance I ever give her.

Rachelle

Five minutes go by and I find my mind going crazy. Maybe Blake decided not to come back. Maybe Max told him it was a terrible idea to get a room with me and talk, or more.

I hope there’s more!

Another five minutes pass and no Blake. I had taken the passenger side, but if he’s not here in five more minutes I’m moving into the driver’s seat and taking off back to Smithville.

He could be giving me a dose of my own medicine after all. Leading me to believe all is well and we can at the very least be friends then walking away and leaving me all alone.

I deserve it. I know I do. Only a few more minutes to go and then I’ll be leaving here alone. I had already put on my seatbelt.

One more minute then that’ll have been fifteen minutes and I’m no idiot. It means he fucked me over this time. I unbuckle the seatbelt and turn to get out of the car and make my way to the driver’s side.

“Were you going to leave without telling me goodbye?” a little girl’s voice asks.

I turn to find the little girl named Sally. She’s walking next to Blake as he carries the little boy I saw him playing with. They look like a little, perfect family and my heart thumps hard in my chest.

I jump out of the car and jog up to meet them. “No! I’m sorry, Sally. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.”

“A little,” she says as she holds her small arms out. “Can I have a goodbye hug, Rachelle?”

I take her up in my arms and hug her. “How old are you anyway, young lady?”

“I’m five. I’ve been here for a couple of years.” She leans close to me and whispers in my ear. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course.”

“I think you look like a nice lady and if you ever want a cute little girl, I’m available. My mommy isn’t ever coming back for me and I know it.”

My heart clenches in my chest and I hug her tight to me. “Well, I hope that changes for you, sweetie,” I whisper back. “And if my life ever gets to a point where I could use a cute little girl in my life I’ll be sure to consider your offer.”

Her lips touch my ear again. “While you’re thinking about that, think about that handsome man as my dad, just saying.”

I giggle and squeeze her. “Will do. I’ll keep in contact Sally. Tell me your last name so I can.”

“Sally Portis.”

I put her down and run my hand over her little head. Red curls and glasses look up at me and I wish like hell I could take her with me now. “Well, Sally Portis, you get ready to get some awesome little goodies in the mail. I’m a chef in training and I can make yummy cookies.”

She jumps up and down then Blake nudges me with his shoulder and I look at him to see the dark haired little boy blushing. Blake says, “Toby is her little brother, and he asked if you could send him some goodies too.”

With a tussle of the kid’s hair I say, “I can manage that, Toby.”

“Thank you,” the little boy says and Blake puts him back on the ground.

Sally takes her little brother’s hand they wave before they start back towards the house I had spent three weeks in once what seems like a zillion years ago.

“See you guys soon. I promised I’d be back to visit and I always keep my promises,” Blake calls out.

I kind of fall apart inside with his words. I wonder if he really does keep all his promises. What kind of a life would that be?

Blake

The wind blows around us as we drive into the town near the children’s home. Rachelle has been too quiet all the way into town. I gave her the chance to haul ass on me and I have the feeling she was just about to do that when I walked up.

“So, those kids were cuties, huh?” I ask her.

“They were. It’s good to see them happy. That’s all I saw were happy kids. Not like I really remembered it when I was there. But I only recently let myself remember so that’s probably why.” She looks out the side and taps her fingers on the door frame.

After grabbing us some drive through food and a six pack I find the nicest place in the town to get a room and check us in. Back out to the car I jog and get back in to park the car.

“Room 107, on the ground floor here in beautiful Beeville, Texas.” My smile I hope is letting her know all is okay.

She takes the food and I take the beer and we go inside the little, very ordinary room. I wish this could be better, like so much better. I’m a billionaire for the love of Pete and I have yet to really take this woman anywhere fabulous.

Rachelle takes the food out of the bag and places it on the little table. I put the beer in the mini fridge and wrap my arms around her from behind. My lips touch her neck and my manhood springs to life.

“Hungry?” I ask.

“Not really. That hotdog filled me up.”

I turn her to face me and she runs her hands around my neck. “So let’s leave that for later then. I’m hungry for something though,” I say.

That little half grin she gets pulls the corners of her mouth up. “What are you hungry for?” Her eyes twinkle.

With one smooth move, I run my arm under her legs and pick her up. “Let me show you.”

With a playful toss, I put her on the bed then take my shirt off. I’ve been working out like a maniac and the way her eyes light up tells me she likes the results.

“Oh! Damn, Blake. How in the hell…” I place my finger to her lips and pull her T-shirt over her head.

Her creamy skin at the top of her breasts begs me to kiss it. My lips touch the top spilling over the lacy, pink bra. I unhook it at the back and pull it away. They spill out and I groan.

“Baby, how I missed you.” My mouth takes one and my hand takes another.

Her hands move all over my back, touching every muscle as she moans with the sensations. “Blake, my God! I missed you too.”

Her body is making me crazy, but I told her we would talk so I have to give her that chance. I pull my mouth away from her juicy breast, but my hand won’t leave the other.

“Baby, do you want to talk? I’m sorry for going all animal on you. I did ask you to come here to talk.”

“Blake, please can we talk later? I kinda really want you bad right this minute.”

“Sure thing, baby. Whatever you want, I will give it to you.” Her lips are begging me to kiss them so I do.

The amount of groaning is insane and I don’t know why I’m doing so much of it. The button on her jeans is making me crazy so I stop my kiss and pull back to see what kind of a contraption she has going on there and unbutton them then slide them off.

Only little pink panties are left and I am drooling. She lifts herself up on her elbows. “Wait!”

No! No wait!

Her pink lips curl into a smile. “Finish undressing and let me look at you.”

Hell yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!

“You want to see some of this, baby?” I ask as I slide my hand down my defined abs.

She shakes her head, confusing me. “No, I want to see all of you. Strip for me, cowboy.” She lies back and turns on some music on her cell phone.

Who are we? Bud and Sissy from Urban Cowboy? Oh well, I’ll play along!

Kid Rock starts signing how he wants to be a cowboy baby and I have the idea she downloaded this song for just this occasion. I rock my hips to the music and slowly unbutton my jeans. The zipper I move up and down a few times, then leave it down.

Rachelle lies back and watches me with a nice smile on her pretty face. When I push my jeans down, her eyes go wide with the sight of what I plan to fill her with in just a bit. She sits up and when I pull the last remaining piece of clothing off me, she bites her bottom lip and I know she wants me.

Her panties I pull down as she looks into my eyes. “I missed this, Blake. I missed it all. How happy and charming you are. How sweet and sexy you are. I missed it all.” Her palms take my cheeks between them. “Make love to me, please.” She lies back and I look down at her.

Black hair and blues eyes look up at me and all I want is for this moment to last forever.

She wants me!

Rachelle

Heat fills me with the way Blake is starring into my eyes. It’s as if he’s looking into my soul. His mouth moves so slow to mine and when his lips touch mine I swear I have to hold myself back from a full blown orgasm.

My breath is already ragged, what the hell?

My body is shaking as he presses his body on top of mine. It’s as if he can’t wait any longer either. His hard cock presses into me and I cry out with the relief I experience. “Hard and fast,” I say.

A growl comes from deep inside him and I can feel it in his cock. The first stroke is dead on and I arch up. Beads of sweat form on my body and his body slicks with a light sheen as well.

My hands flow over his tightly muscled back, and it sends shivers down my spine. He looks at me as he makes hard and fast strokes like I asked him to. His blue, brown eyes are mostly brown with desire.

He stops moving and says, “Do it.”

I fall apart as he’s told me to, and it’s like I’ve died and went to Heaven. My insides quake and pulse and he growls again and pounds into me. Hard thrusts he makes. Loud grunts he makes as he hurries to keep my orgasm going for as long as he can.

All of a sudden I realize I am screaming, “Fuck me, fuck me, baby!”

His monster arms are on either side of me and I run my hands up them and nearly fall apart at how firm and big they are. Then I feel another one coming and I arch up and moan like a whore on a Saturday night.

Who am I?

This one must’ve been intense because Blake soon follows. His heat fills me and he moans like he never has before, “Fuck me, Rachelle.” He bites his lip as his body tenses and pulses inside me. “Baby, what have you done to me?”

What have I done to him? What has he done to me?

Blake

My body feels like it’s on fire. The way she feels is beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. I just came like a fire hydrant and I’m hard again already. Slow and deep strokes I make as I press my body to hers.

We’re totally sweaty, both of us have dripping wet hair and the smell is awesome. Like I never thought in my life I’d find body odor to be something that brings me joy, but our combined smell is making me giddy or something else. Maybe horny is the word I’m searching for.

I need her like I’ve never needed anything. “Did you like that, baby?” I ask like some seventies' porn star.

“Um,hm,’ she moans back at me with half closed eyelids. “More, baby.”

“Oh, you are going to get more. Do not worry about that.” I pull out and flip her over on her knees. Dragging her back to me, she presses her hot ass back, ready for me to take her again.

As I press my astonishingly erect dick into her equally astonishing wet dream scape I moan as it seems it missed it in there and only wants to be back home where little Blake belongs.

A deep sigh she makes, and she shocks the shit out of me as she licks her finger and presses it to her clit. I take over for her in that area as I see it as mine to please. “Let me get that for you, baby.”

I push into her and take my finger and rub it over her swollen as hell clit. We both just came like it was the end of the world and here we are ready to do that all over again.

Lord, it is good to be young!

Rachelle

A tiny ray of sunlight is peeking through the motel curtains and right into my eyes. Strong arms hold me and I think I’m okay with that. Blake and I made love all night long and somehow I feel like everything will be okay.

I turn in his arms and run my hand over his even better than before bicep. The man just keeps getting more built every time I see him. I cannot help myself as I gaze at his sweet, sleeping face.

He seems so peaceful but I have to do it. I place my lips gently on his. Though I want to kiss him for real, I pull my lips back. He stirs and his blue, brown eyes open and he smiles.

“Hey, girl,” he mumbles, sleepily.

“Hey,” I say and run my hand up and down his muscled arm. “It’s going to be time to leave soon. I thought you might want to play around before we have to go.”

With a slow blink, he says, “What you and I do is not playing around. Also, I plan to be with you for at least the next two nights.”

“Oh you do, do you?” I ask with a giggle. “I guess I can put up with you a couple more days, and nights.”

“That’s all I ask, baby.” He pulls me close and places his lips on mine.

A warmth eases into my body. A little lick he gives my lips and I’m opening them for him. The heat increases in my lower regions and I press against him.

His long length pulses and grows against me. Slowly his hands roam over my back and mine do the same to his, touching every corded and tight muscle as they go.

Moving me to my back, Blake presses his body to mine and pulls his mouth away to look at me. “I love you, Rachelle.”

“I love you too, Blake,” I say in a whisper.

The way his lips conform to mine or mine conform to his, I don’t know which, it makes me melt inside. He presses against me then pushes his erection into me. I groan with the sensation.

Sore from so much of this only hours before has me a little stiff. His hand runs over my hip and then he does the same with the other side. Massaging and rubbing as if he knew I was tight.

His strokes and the way he’s rubbing me has me loosening up in no time and I pull my knees up and wrap my legs around him, arching up to him as he makes each stroke.

My ass cheeks he cups in his hands and massages them as I lift my body off the bed to meet him. The deep ache inside me comes to life and I know only he can fix that.

As if sensing my need, he strokes harder and faster. His mouth leaves mine and goes to my neck where he bites and sucks, sending me to the outer limits. Nothing matters but us and this moment.

“Blake,” I say in a ragged breath. “God! Blake!”

“Come for me, baby.”

I buck up to him and finally the wave flows over me and I scream out, “Blake! God, Blake!”

The way my body is milking him makes him follow right behind me and he tenses and heat rushes into me. “Baby, oh, baby,” he moans against my neck.

Slowly the pulses die down until there are no more. Only I don’t want to let him go. I keep my legs wrapped around him and hold him tight to me. I never want to let him go, not ever.

I whisper to him, “Blake, don’t let me leave you ever again. Please. I’m a mess and I know I am, but if you do love me, you will help me. Please, help me, Blake.”

His words sound funny as they whisper against my ear, “I’ll help you, Rachelle. I promise.”

Blake raises his head and I see tears glimmering in his eyes. “I love you, Blake.”

“I love you, Rachelle. I promise I’ll help you. I’ll always be there for you, no matter what.” His hand runs over my forehead and he pushes back my hair.

In most cases I’d be crying right now, but something inside me tells me I don’t need to. Something inside tells me I can give it all up, the crazy ideas that I might go crazy one day. I can lay my issues aside and love this man and let him love me.

“We are going to take this thing slow,” he says. “We’ll spend the next couple of days together then I will go back to Lubbock and take care of my business and you will go back to L.A. to go to school and do your intern work.”

“No pressure,” I say with a giggle.

“Well, there will be some, but it won’t be like before. I do want you to tell whoever the hell that was you went out on a date with that you have a very serious boyfriend who doesn’t mind coming out there to kick his ass if he keeps on asking you out.”

“How did you know about that?” I ask as I furrow my eyebrows.

“Our friends talk, baby. Don’t ever think they don’t. So let that English dude know I mean business. We may be taking this thing slow, but you are definitely mine. Okay?” He runs his finger along my jawline as he looks at me.

“Then you do the same. Let all those Lubbock hussies know that you belong to me.” I run my hand over his stubbly cheek.

“Will do,” he says then kisses me lightly. “Now just one more time then we need to get up and get ourselves cleaned up. I can’t wait to go to Peyton’s and ride some horses.”

I smile at him and have to wonder if I can really do this. Right now with him all up on me like this I feel as if I could do anything. But when he goes back to Lubbock and I go back to Los Angeles. I can’t be sure.

Blake gives me a strength I don’t have when I’m all alone. All I know is that for right now, I want this. I want this man and all that comes with him.

But do I have it in me to keep this up?

Part 8 Lucky Words

Rachelle

Darkness settled in a long time ago as I finished up my shift at the restaurant. Getting home, taking a long, hot bath and climbing into my bed is foremost on my mind.

Blake and I have settled into something nice. We talk on the phone and text some, but he’s giving me the space I need. He’s really taking things slow.

I have to say I didn’t think he could do it, but it’s been nearly a month since we got back together. We stayed three days together then I came home. Have I missed him?

Hell yes I have!

But finals are coming up soon and I’ve had to come up with new recipes for many of my classes and that’s kept me and my mind pretty busy. Kip and Peyton are my Guinea pigs and they’re loving every bite of it.

They nearly have what they want. Which is me cooking for them all the time. But I’ve managed to get Peyton to learn some things in the kitchen and even Kip has learned to cook a thing or two.

He wants a permanent chef before their second child gets here though. I’m helping them do interviews later this week to get that accomplished for them. It’s the least I can do since I won’t take them up on their offer.

My phone has been off since I was at work and having your phone on while there can get you fired. As I pull up in front of my apartment I tap the button and turn it back on.

Once inside and on my way to take these clothes off I see Blake has texted me. I turn on the water and pour a tiny amount of Pax’s bubble bath in the steamy water.

I like to save Blake’s nightly texts to read while I soak the day’s work and worries away. All settled in, I take my phone and read what he’s sent me.

-Hi baby. Hope your day was good. Mine was full of things like taking my pilots test and passing it! Yeah, that’s right, your man is officially a helicopter pilot! Max taught me well, and I passed with flying colors. My elbow is getting a little tired as I’ve patted myself on the back all day.

Once that paper was in my hand all I could think about was taking you on trips all over the place. I know, I know, we’re taking it slow!

I’m going to take a chopper on a test drive tomorrow. Wish you could be here to help me pick one out. I’ll send you pictures and you can tell me which one you like. By the way, I saw an article about this car I think would be perfect for you and I’d like to buy one for you for your birthday or Christmas, or any day, really.

Don’t answer me about that yet. I know you need time for it to sink into your brain that I love you and want to give you things. It makes me happy and I seem to think nearly constantly about you and what you might like.

So, as you requested me to do each night, here is one thing about my life: I flunked third grade and had to go to summer school to catch back up to my grade level. There, now you have one of my deep, dark secrets. Your turn to tell me one.

I love you and look forward to your nightly text. P.S. I know you’re reading this while you soak in the bath so promise me you’ll picture me when you clean your nether regions. And remember more than three passes over that area is considered playing with yourself. I love you, XOXO-

I giggle and lean back to think about what I want to say to him. After putting the phone on the counter I lie back and pour a little body wash on a puff and run it over my neck, then down my arm and finally over my breasts.

My eyes close as I think about how gently Blake can run his large hands over my body. So muscled yet he can be the most tender man in the world. He and I took a shower the last night we were together at Peyton’s parents’ house and he ran his hands all over me.

I run the soapy puff over my arms, remembering how he made long strokes over both my arms with his firm hands. His hands slipped off them and over my breasts as I held my palms against the wall and he stood behind me. His cock pressed against my back.

Just the thought sends heat through me, just like it did then. His lips touched my shoulder and I recall shivering as chills ran through me, fighting the heat that resided in my body. It was an odd yet exhilarating sensation.

One hand left one breast, and he slid it all the way down until he found my little bud that was more than ready for his touch. I moaned as he found it and had to lean my forehead against the warm tiled wall of the shower.

He leaned with me, never letting the front of his body lose contact with the back of mine. Blake’s fingers seemed to know exactly where I wanted to be touched and he gently squeezed and rubbed at my little pearl until I was panting.

His lips ran up the side of my neck and he whispered only one word to me, “Come.”

My body fell apart with his voice, velvet soft in my ear, making my insides quake as he told me to. He stopped his attention to my bud and placed his hands over mine and moved them down the wall until I was bent at the waist.

His hands trailed up my arms, over my back to my butt. He ran his hands over my ass and moaned. “So round and gorgeous.”

My ass tingled as he ran his strong hands over it. It made me ache for him and he didn’t make me wait long. His thick cock filled me, making me groan with the sweet relief.

Slow strokes he made, filling me then leaving me empty. I moved my hands lower down the wall and felt him go deeper inside me. “Oh, baby,” he moaned and squeezed my ass cheeks.

I pressed back to him a bit, and he moved faster and drove into me harder. A sudden need for him to roughen it up came over me and I said, “Give my ass a nice smack.”

A hard slap rang out and my ass stung a little. It made my vagina clench, and he did it again. “Yes!” came out of my mouth without me knowing it.

He did it again, and I said it again. Each slap making me clench him harder. He began to really pound into me as he got more excited and one of his hands wrapped up in my hair and he pulled it hard.

I gritted my teeth as it made my stomach tighten and the river inside me began to rise. His dick was moving in and out so fast and banging me so hard, I had to use all my strength to hold myself away from the wall.

A scream left my mouth as the river crashed into a waterfall and I found Blake right behind me with his release. His heat filling me and leaving me whole.

My body relaxes as I realize the memory and a little self-stimulation has left me spent and somewhat satisfied.

It would’ve been better if it was real and not just a memory!

Blake

Lying awake in my bed, I wait for Rachelle to send me her nightly text. Things are progression well for us. Since I’ve taken a step back and taken things slower, she seems to be okay with us having a relationship, albeit a distant one, but hey I’ll take what I can get.

My phone lights up and I pick it up eagerly. Like a kid that’s just been handed a candy bar. I’m nearly salivating I want to read her words so damn bad.

Is that pathetic? I hope not!

-Babe, I’m so proud of you!!!! My man is a helicopter pilot. I cannot wait to tell everyone! Hope your elbow gets better soon. But you deserve to pat yourself on the back, it’s a great accomplishment after all.

As I soaked in my bubble bath after reading your nightly text, I recalled our little session in the shower at Peyton’s family’s pool house. I sure am glad it was so far from the rest of the people or they would’ve gotten an earful with all the grunting and groaning we did. I think I even screamed once or twice.

Your touch is remarkable and I’m one lucky girl to get to feel that. I’m lucky to have you in my life, period!

Here’s where I’m going to get mushy so grab one of the tissues you have next to your bed. Blake, you’ve taken me to places I never knew existed. With the mere touch of your hand or the sound of your voice to my ear, I feel things deeper than I thought possible. To be yours is a dream come true.

Your heart is strong and the fact you allowed me back into it is a thing I treasure. I’ll try my very best never to hurt you again. Your heart and mine beat in a way that’s more than special and doesn’t happen for everyone. I vow to never take that for granted again.

You have my heart, my soul, and my body always and forever, Blake. This I swear to you.

Okay enough sappy stuff. A fact about me is that I sucked my thumb until I was ten. Gross I know!

Think of me as you fall asleep and I’ll think of you, maybe we’ll meet in each other’s dreams. I love you and always will. You are my knight in shining armor, Mr. Chandler. Sweet Dreams-

A sniffle escapes me as I blink back tears. She has a way of getting me all verklempt as Mike Myers would say. I lay my phone back down and lie back on my pillow.

Her reminder of what we did when we spent the day and night with Peyton and her family has me smiling. The bed in their pool house was a king, and the mattress was kind of old and the springs were bouncy as fuck.

It made for a wild ride that night. After a little love in the shower, I carried Rachelle to the bed and tossed her onto it. She bounced and all her junk jiggled. It was beautiful.

Her pert breasts finally came to rest as she stopped her giggles. She looked fresh and soft and her flesh was a little pink from the hot shower. That shower was hot in more ways than one.

She wiggled her little finger at me and I growled at what she wanted.

“More?” I asked her.

She merely nodded, making her long, damp, dark tresses bounce around her porcelain face and deep blue eyes. Her red lips pursed as she laid back and beckoned me to her.

My heart pounded hard as I looked over her body spread out on that bed and she wanted me. She was perfect from head to toe and that beautiful body wanted mine all over it.

Her perfect breast I took in my hand as I climbed on the bed next to her. The springs groaned under my weight and gave a bit. She rolled towards me, landing on her side.

We both laughed a little, and I moved her to her back and laid next to her. Her breast still in my hand, I kneaded it and massaged it as she ran her hand through my hair.

“I love the way your hair looks when it’s wet,” she told me.

“I love the way your hair looks all the time,” I told her.

Her hand slid out of my hair and over my shoulder. “I love the way your muscles feel under my hand,” she said.

My mouth quirked into a crooked smile. “I love the way your breasts feel under my hand.”

Her hand left my shoulder and traveled to my tight abs. “I love the way you're tight as hell stomach tightens even more when I touch it.”

I slid my hand off her mountainous breast over her stomach and onto her warm, soft sex. “I love the way this tightens when I touch it.”

She slid her hand lower and took my cock into it. She moved her hand up and down the long length of it. “I love the way this thing gets even bigger when I touch it.”

“We’re just about out of places to touch each other,” I said as I palmed her, slipping one finger inside her.

She continued to run her hand up and down my dick, making it grow and grow. “I love the way your tongue feels in my mouth.”

With a smile I leaned over her and said, “Me too.” I kissed her and her lips parted, inviting me right in, so in I went.

I kissed her deep as I palmed her and fingered her and she ran her hand over my dick, squeezing at the most appropriate of times. The thought ran through my head that I could stay like that forever. Just stroking her tongue with mine and moving my finger in and out of her while my palm pumped against her swelling clit.

But her hand stroking my dick was making me want just a touch more. Before I realized it, I was panting and my dick was nearly ready to take off on its own. I couldn’t have that, so I moved my hand off her and moved my body over hers.

Missionary position it had to be as I was afraid anything else might bounce us right off the bed. Even as I tried to press my throbbing dick into her, her body moved deeper into the bed, moving away from me.

“You’re going to need to arch up to me, baby,” I pulled my lips off hers to tell her.

Her hips left the bed and finally my dick went into her hot, slick love canal.

Yes, I called it a love canal! Deal with it!

Every time I pulled away from her, she would let her hips drop back to the bed and arch up to meet me with the next stroke. We were working in unison and it was fantastic.

But it was just too slow going and being the impatient woman Rachelle is, she stopped and said, “Get off the bed.”

“What?” I asked, confused. Had I done something wrong?

“Just do it. This isn’t enough for me.”

I climbed off her and waited to see what the hell she wanted to do as my rock hard dick began to grow a little cold.

“Might want to hurry before little Blake gets too cold and we have to start from the very beginning,” I told her.

She scooted her body to the side of the bed until her legs dangled off and her ass was at the very edge. I looked down at her and had to wonder how she knew the bed was at exactly the right height for me to stand up and take her like that.

With a smile she wiggled her finger at me and I moved into position. Her legs wrapped around my ass and she was ready to go. The first thrust sent her flying backwards as the old mattress moved with my weight.

I shook my head. “Not gonna work, sweet pea.”

“Hold me by my hips.” She bit her bottom lip and winked at me.

I did what she said and in no time I had a great rhythm going and she was moaning like crazy. My name coming out of her mouth with every third or fourth moan.

Her eyes were closed, and I watched her face as she made little fuck me faces without even realizing she was doing it. I nearly lost it when her hands went to her breasts and she ran them all over them as I pounded into her.

I got a crazy idea and released one of her hips for a second and took one of her hands as I leaned over and placed her middle finger in my mouth. She opened her eyes and looked at me a bit puzzled.

Without saying a word, I placed her wet finger to her clit and grabbed her hip again and got back to what I was doing. Fucking the ever loving shit out of her as she played with herself.

It was fucking awesome!

Watching her stroke herself, I had to look back and forth to see her playing with her breast too. Her face soft with all the stimulation suddenly began to tighten. Her lips pressed hard against each other and the way her love canal was beginning to tighten around my cock told me it was about to happen.

Her hands flew to either side of her as she grabbed handfuls of the bedspread and bunched them up. The scream she made started out low and guttural, then it went high and loud.

My body could take no more and I let it all out, filling her up with my love juice.

That’s right, I called it love juice!

Our breath was all over the place and the sound filled the little room. We were gasping like we’d just run a marathon or something. It was utterly fantastic and when I collapsed on top of her, she ran her arms around me and whispered in a husky voice, “I love you, Blake.”

My heart nearly burst and I told her that I loved her too.

Somewhat satiated, I settle back to get some sleep.

It would’ve been better if it was real and not just a memory!

Rachelle