Winter by Michelle Love (19)

“But you won’t, unless I give you my permission,” she says as she looks at my lips.

Resting my forehead on hers, I say, “Give it to me, Gia.”

“I can’t. Even now, I feel my heart pounding harder than it ever has. You are my one temptation, Ryker. You are the one thing I have to learn to deny myself. For my family’s sake.”

“I can take care of them. I will take care of them,” I tell her as the need to feel her mouth is overwhelming.

“I don’t trust you,” she says then I feel the dog at my feet, bumping against our legs and yapping that she’s ready to go back inside.

“But you trust him,” I say as I graze my lips over hers. Her sweet breath is intoxicating to me and I feel light headed and want to fall into a drunken state as I taste every inch of her.

“I do. We should go inside now. I’ve been too long out here.”

Holding her tightly, I say it once more, “Tell me you won’t marry him, Gia.” I meant my voice to come out much stronger. Instead, it comes out like a plea. I’ve never pleaded with anyone!

“I’m not going to marry him. I don’t have to. He merely wanted to let me know he would if I needed that from him, which I don’t. I have no want to try to divorce a man who’s left the planet, so I can one day marry a man I love.”

Her words send me to a place of joy and hope. “Good. I’m glad you’re being smart about that. You’re an extremely smart woman, except where relationships are concerned.”

“And I’m sorry you don’t understand me. Let me go inside first, just in case Damien is waiting and watching.” With that, she leaves my arms, opens the door and she and her dog go inside, leaving me alone in the dark and feeling sick at my stomach.

My head is spinning and my world feels as if it’s coming undone. If this is love, it certainly sucks!

GIA

The touch of Damien’s hand on my stomach makes it tense. Lying in bed, next to him, I’d rather be anywhere else. But he needs me, so I stay.

With a kiss to my cheek, he moves his hand lower and I see where he’s headed and can’t believe the man. “Damien!” I hiss at him. “Do you think I actually want to have sex with you, after what you’ve told me?”

“Gia, nothing has changed, except now you know the truth. It doesn’t mean anything needs to be different between us. As a matter of fact, you knowing what you do and still staying with me actually, makes me care even more for you.” His lips run over my shoulder as he turns over to lean his head on his hand and look down at me. “The same way I don’t expect the mother of my son to go without sex, I don’t expect you to, either. And seeing as you won’t be getting that anywhere else, per our agreement, I am here for you. Take advantage of that.”

“Look, I have no idea how you don’t understand how I’m feeling right now but you are clueless, so let me educate you,” I say as he does seem not to understand me at all. “The man I have thought was faithful to me has just told me he’s slept with another woman every week during our relationship. The kid I can get past, the sleeping with another woman, I can’t.”

“Are you telling me that you and I aren’t going to be having sex again because I can’t take that?” He looks at me with a grin on his face, as if he’s being cute. “I like your body and I like the way you make me feel.” His finger trails between my breasts. “Are you going to lie to me and tell me you don’t like it too?”

Measuring my words, as I don’t want to annihilate the guy, I tell him, “It’s a thing I find satisfying. That said, I don’t feel like doing it at this time. When my emotions are all over the place with your news and I feel like crying.”

His smile grows and I find him more than a bit insensitive. “You care about me, Gia. I can see it now. I mean, I knew you had to care about me to stay with me all this time but I wasn’t sure how much you were staying because you liked me or if you stayed so I’d take care of your family. What you’re saying now means you have real feelings for me. And that’s sweet.” He leans down and kisses me.

I don’t stop him. I should but I don’t. I can’t even explain to myself why that is. I can’t seem to do anything but give to this man. Whatever he wants, I just give it to him.

My body goes numb as he moves forward with his sex plan. I suppose he needs it to feel like we’ve made up. But we haven’t exactly done that. I’m going to accept the fact he has a kid and another woman who will be on the sidelines while I get to take center stage, where his family is concerned.

And as he kisses me and nudges me to bend to his will, I do as I’ve always done and bend any way he needs me to. And for what? For the financial safety, my family gains from this?

When it ends, he rolls off me with a deep sigh. I roll over and close my eyes and try to fall asleep to end this hell of a day. Tomorrow morning, he will leave and I will be alone with my family, thankfully. I need some time to think.

I should be getting more out of this deal. Ryker is right. Perhaps I should get my own side relationship, no one needs to know a thing about. It’s only fair, after all!

RYKER

“Good morning, Ryker,” Gia says with a smile as she comes into the breakfast nook. “Thanks for shoving the map and note under the bedroom door this morning. I would’ve never found this room on my own.” Her hand flows along my shoulders as she comes to take the place next to me. “The rest of the family isn’t far behind me.” She kisses my cheek and I find a smile moving over my lips. “Thank you again for this. You’re one in a million.”

“Damien got off early this morning,” I say as I fill her juice glass. “Is that why you’re in such a good mood?”

After taking a long drink, she places the nearly empty glass on the table where I refill it for her. “Not exactly. I just feel kind of fantastic today. That’s all. Most likely it’s due to you bringing my family in for me.” She leans over and plants another kiss on my cheek, making me wonder what the hell happened to make this drastic change in her.

“Well, I’m probably going to make you do flips with this,” I say then take her shoulders to keep her seated. “I’m taking you all to the beach today.”

Her eyes go big and she claps her hands and I get another kiss on the cheek. “Thank you! You are the best, Ryker!”

“You’re welcome. And I’m happy that you’re happy, Gia.” I kiss her cheek and find her moving at the last second and my kiss lands on her lips.

“Oops,” she says as she turns her head.

I kiss her cheek and have an odd feeling that wasn’t an oops, at all. The sound of her family coming down the hallway has me leaning back in my seat and in no time the small breakfast nook is buzzing with excited conversation as we all talk about going to the beach on such a sunny and gorgeous day.

Gia’s nearly glowing as we leave the room after enjoying the delicious breakfast that was prepared for us. And Gia took the reins easily when I handed them to her. She made the order for what food they’d be preparing at the beach for us for dinner.

Lobsters, clam, shrimp, and Mahi Mahi will all be made for us on a grill down by the water. I foresee a moonlit stroll with her this evening. I know I’m happy to have Damien out of our hair for the next two days!

As her family goes off to dress for the day at the beach, I take Gia by the hand and lead her with me on the pretense of helping me get together leashes and other things for the dogs, so we can take them with us.

“Lady’s never been to the beach,” she says as we look through drawers for the elusive leashes I know I have but can’t recall where I put them. “I bet she’ll love it.”

I find a black leather collar, studded with rhinestones and hold it up, “I have your collar, now to find a couple more for the dogs.”

She laughs and bows. “You want to me my master, Ryker?”

She’s joking, of course. The fact she lets Damien rule her isn’t a joke, though. I take her chin in my hand, lifting her back up to eye level. “You don’t need a master, Gia. You’re perfect just the way you are. No training is required.”

Her lips quirk up on one side as she looks at me. “Thanks. You know, I have to say I think you’re pretty perfect, yourself.” Finding the errant leashes and collars has her opening another drawer and she quickly takes out a handful of leashes and holds them up while eyeing me. “You certainly have a lot of these things. You sure you’re not into some kinky stuff, Ryker?”

“I’ve been known to dabble on occasion. If you care to come with me to my bedroom, I could show you a thing or two.” I chuckle but I mean it. If she’d go, I’d be down for that.

“Not right now. We’re supposed to be getting ready for a day at the beach, remember?” she asks as she picks out a red leash for her dog and a blue one for mine.

I follow along behind her, admiring the view and happy to know I’ll soon be seeing her nearly naked. “I had something delivered to your room,” I tell her, making her stop and turn around.

“What?” Her eyes sparkle a bit with curiosity.

“Something I want you to wear today. It’s tiny and red and will look great on you.” I push a lock of her hair off her shoulder and let my hand rest there.

“A bikini?” she asks with a frown. “Because I only wear one pieces.”

“Why is that?” I ask her as I move my hand down her arm then over to her waist. “You have a smoking hot body, Gia.”

“Damien…” She stops herself.

“Damien doesn’t like you to wear bikinis?” I ask her as I pull her close to me. She nods and I lean in close. “He’s not here, is he? And I won’t tell on you. Can your family be trusted?”

She giggles and says, “I suppose you’re right. Don’t take any pictures, though. He’d be furious.”

“And we can’t make Damien mad, now can we?” I stare into her eyes until she closes hers.

“You don’t understand.”

“Educate me, Gia.” Letting her go, she takes a step back and shakes her head.

“Maybe another time. I honestly, don’t want to think about him today or tomorrow. It’d be great if you wouldn’t talk about him at all. I need a little Damien-free time.” And with that she turns and walks away, leaving me wondering what the hell has gotten into her.

GIA

Salty air and warm sun seem to be just what the doctor would’ve ordered, had I went to one to get a cure for what ails me. The addition of Ryker has made it a day I will remember for quite some time.

My dog is playing with his in the gentle surf. My mother and father are strolling, hand in hand, along the shoreline. My sisters are gathering shells to take home to their kids. And I am sitting on a lounge chair under the cover of a giant umbrella. I can’t recall a time when I’ve felt so relaxed.

“How about a walk?” Ryker walks up and asks me. “The sun’s getting pretty low in the sky. A walk, on the beach, at sunset, no less. Well, I won’t blame you if you accidentally fall in love with me, if you come with me.”

Pulling my sunglasses up, I look right into his eyes. “What if I’ve already fallen?”

He chuckles and takes my hands, lifting me up. “You most likely have. Come on, walk with me. I want to delve into that brain of yours.”

“I don’t want to think today,” I whimper as he keeps hold of my hand as he leads me to walk in the shallow water. Our bare feet make tiny splashes with each step and I find it odd how much I like the way our feet look, walking side by side like this.

“Can you imagine what it will be like to swim in water that no one or thing has ever swum in before?” he asks me and I see he’s going to talk to me about going to Mars with him again.

“Ryker, I want to ask you something. And I want you to be honest with me.”

“I always am,” he says then pulls our clasped hands up and kisses mine. “Ask me anything.”

“Is it selfish of me to want what Damien has?”

“His money?” he asks.

“Well, that and one other thing,” I say, careful not to spill Damien’s secret to Ryker, who would most certainly not keep it to himself.

“What’s the other thing?”

“No, I can’t tell you that. I just want to know if it’s selfish to want the same thing your boyfriend has.”

“Like, he has a motorcycle, so you want one? That kind of thing?”

I weigh that idea then nod. “Yes, he has something and I find it unfair that I don’t get to have one too. If that’s how he wants to be.”

“Come on,” he says as he stops and takes both of my hands and turns me to face him. “Tell me what he has that you want too but he won’t let you have.”

“Just something. I really can’t say. But I have no choice except to let him keep this thing he has. If I was to get something like it, it would have to be kept a secret. I’m not a liar, so that may well be impossible,” I tell him as he looks at me with an odd expression on his handsome face.

“I think it’s fair for you to want the same treatment you give. I think it’s fair to want things that your other half has if you want them. Is this a thing you two could share?”

A laugh jumps out of me, without me knowing it was going to happen. I jerk my hands out of his and cover my mouth with them. “Sorry.”

“What would be funny about that?” he asks as he eyes me, suspiciously.

“Nothing. So, if I did get something along the lines of what he has, you’re saying I wouldn’t be an awful person?” I ask him to be sure of what it is he thinks.

I care about what he thinks of me. I don’t want to come at him with my idea and have him think me trashy or a person with bad moral character.

“I’ll get whatever it is for you,” he says and I laugh again. “You’re making me crazy. What is it? Is it some kind of weird sex toy?”

“No. Not really.”

Taking my hand, he starts walking again and shakes his head. “So, what will I be getting you?”

“You.” I leave my answer short as I have no idea of what else to tell him.

He laughs and looks at me out of the corner of his eye. “Me?”

I nod and bite my lower lip as I wait to see what he thinks about it. He looks down and doesn’t say anything, making me think this was a huge mistake. So, I add, “It’s just for sex, Ryker.”

“Damn!” He makes a nervous laugh and then stops. “Gia, what is this about? You told me you are no cheater and now you openly ask me to have sex with you. That is what you’re asking, right? For us to have sex but tell no one about it? And just what are we talking about, once? Or is it more like an ongoing thing that we have to hide? Because I’m not into sharing. I’m not into lying and hiding, either.”

And just like that, I know I’ve messed up. “Forget I said anything.” I pull my hand out of his and try to walk away from him but he grabs my arm, pulling me back to him.

“If you’ve found out Damien is screwing someone else, why aren’t you dumping his ass?” he asks me as he glares into my eyes.

He’s furious!

I did not see this coming at all. I thought he’d just agree to a simple affair and be happy about it.

“Because it’s complicated. And you can’t tell a soul. You have to promise me.”

“Gia, you aren’t being true to yourself. There’s no good reason for him to have an affair and you stay with him. Get out of this relationship. You’re not even married, for God’s sake! Is it financial security? I can give you a job that will pay you a lot of money. Don’t do this to yourself. End it with him.”

I look at him and know I’m breaking the agreement I made with Damien by doing this but I can’t seem to stop myself. “He got a woman pregnant on accident a few days before we met. She has his son. He’s taken care of her and the boy but she was a prostitute and his family will never allow him to marry her. If they found out about her and the boy, they’d cut him off without a cent.”

“And that’s your problem because?” he asks me with squinting eyes.

“Because I want financial security for my family. It’s a trade-off. I keep his family off his back by portraying his loving girlfriend or wife until he leaves on the mission to Mars. He’ll be taking the woman and boy with him but his family won’t be aware of who they are to him. I’ll get to keep his money, making me and my family set for life and then some.”

“You’re selling yourself to him, Gia. An MIT graduate, a brilliant person, and you are selling your body to a man.” Disgust covers his face then he lets my hand go and walks away from me.

I’m stunned. In silence, I stand and can’t comprehend what just happened here. I was offering him exactly what he’s wanted from the beginning. Sex with me.

How could he judge me so harshly?

RYKER

Rain has set in as I head back to Orlando. I politely left Gia and her family alone at my place and told them I had pressing business to see to in Orlando. I told her family goodbye and told her I would send a car for her and make sure she was returned to the room she shares with Damien at the Four Seasons. I don’t want to see her anymore.

She may be brilliant but she’s so broken I don’t think it’s possible to fix her. I’ve made arrangements to go out this evening with a young woman I met at a club a couple of months ago. I need someone to take my mind off Gia.

The driver pulls to a stop in front of the restaurant I’m meeting Yolanda at and I get out. I put on one of my best suits before I left my home. Gia looked at me with a sad expression and told me goodbye. She could tell I was going to go out once I got into town.

Her face is haunting me and I have to do something to get it out of my head. She’s a terrible person!

Just as I walk into the place, I see Damien and he has his little, secret family with him, it looks like. Making quick strides to him, I decide to see what he tells me about the woman and child who are with him.

He scans the room then he sees me, heading his way. “Ryker, hello.”

“Damien,” I say as I gesture to the short woman who is nowhere near as pretty as Gia is. “Who do we have here?”

He doesn’t falter, used to this, I suppose, as he says, “This is Svetlana and Friedrich. My good friend from back home didn’t feel well, so I took his wife and son out for dinner.”

The woman looks down at her son and I can see she’s also used to being introduced this way. “Nice to meet you, both,” I say and pat the little boy’s head. The child looks just like Damien. How he’s gotten away with this in his hometown with his family around, is shocking.

“And you’re back in Orlando, because?” he asks me.

“I have a date I forgot about. She’s meeting me here. I’m going to send a car for Gia on Monday when her family leaves. She’ll be delivered to the hotel,” I inform him then see my date waiting at the bar for me.

“You seem agitated,” he says. “Did anything happen that I should know about?”

I want to blurt out that he turned a fantastic woman into a blithering idiot by what he’s done but I can’t do that, so I say, “No, the trip was long because of the rain. I felt bad for leaving my date waiting for me. I’ll be staying in town for the rest of the weekend.”

“I’ll see you on Monday to finish hashing out our deal. You should make time to come to Russia, later in the month,” he tells me.

“I will,” I say, knowing I will have to see Gia now and then with this business he and I have. But I’m not liking it one bit.

With a wave, I leave and go to the bar. “Took you long enough,” Yolanda says as I approach her.

“It was raining. I’m sorry. Did you have more important plans?” I take her hand and lead her to the host, so we can be seated.

“I might have. Why such short notice, Ryker?” she asks me.

I stop and pull her close to me. “I needed someone to help me get some other person out of my head and your name came to mind.”

She slides her hand over my shoulder and coos, “Lucky me.”

She may not feel so lucky when we’re done. I have some major aggression to work out!

GIA

“I’d rather not, Damien,” I tell him as he’s getting ready to go to see Ryker for a lunch meeting that he wants me to go to with him. “I just got back and I need to rest. My family said to tell you goodbye. They hope to see us soon.”

“Maybe you should invite them to see us. Maybe they could do that sometime,” he says as he straightens his tie. “I saw Ryker at a restaurant on Saturday night. He was on a date.”

My heart falls because I had a feeling he was going out. “Oh, yeah?”

“I had them with me, Gia. He may tell you about that. That’s the reason I’m bringing this up. I told him they were my sick friend’s family.”

“What are their names?” I ask him as I fall into a chair.

“Svetlana and Friedrich,” he tells me. “I’m sure Ryker will use that to try to get at you. Tell you I’m on the prowl.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” I say then look around the room for something to drink. I’ve spent every waking moment rethinking what I told Ryker. And in none of the scenarios did I envision him going out with another woman and seeking her attention, instead of mine.

“Was she pretty?” I find myself asking him.

“Svetlana?” he asks me.

“Sure,” I say but I meant the woman Ryker was with.

“She’s not unattractive. You have more beauty than she does.”

“And the woman Ryker was with?”

He looks at me with a frown. “Why would you care?”

“Why not?” I ask him and get up to go to get the bottle of vodka I see on the small dining table. “Vodka, Damien? Did you bring them to our room?”

“Yes,” he comes to me and pulls me into his arms. “I feel much better being honest with you.” His lips touch my cheek and my stomach cramps.

“I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll see you when you get back. I think I’m coming down with something,” I lie and get away from him and go into the bathroom.

“I’ll see you later,” he says then I hear the door shut and I explode into tears.

Nothing is fair! Damien is getting everything he wants. Ryker is too. And I’m getting nothing!

Well, I am getting money and lots of it but nothing else. And now that Ryker has pointed out that I’m no better than a paid whore, I feel as if I’m losing more than I’m gaining.

My hurt and anguish spin in an instant as I realize I am furious at Ryker. I head back out of the bathroom and grab my cell out of my purse and call him.

It rings four times before he answers it, “Gia.”

“Ryker, why did you go and find another woman?”

“I’m a free man, Gia. Is that all you wanted to know?”

“How can you judge me? You’re a whore, yourself!”

“I’m not taking anyone’s money in exchange for anything of a sexual nature. If you don’t like being called that, simply stop being one, Gia. Shit!”

“Did you fuck her?” I ask and can’t breathe while I wait for his answer.

“That’s none of your business. I have a lunch meeting with your man. I need to get where I’m going. And just a note for future reference, when I have business with Damien, I’d rather not see you.”

“Ryker, you have no right to be like this! I’m nothing to you. You can’t treat me this way!” I scream at him.

“You know something, Gia,” he says, “You can manage to bring up an anger in you where I’m concerned but not where Damien is concerned. You should really think about that. Why do you suppose that is?”

“Because I love you and I don’t love him, Ryker,” I say and then end the call and throw the phone at the wall, busting it. “I love you! Damn it!”

Running to the bed, I throw myself on it, face first and cry like I’ve never cried before. I’ve never been this messed up over anyone or thing. Not even when I didn’t get asked to my high school prom and that was a real boohoo-fest.

I cry until I can’t anymore then I lie still as I think about what the hell I just did. Stone cold sober, I just made a huge-ass mistake of epic proportions.

I told Ryker that I loved him!

I’ve gone crazy, that’s what’s happened to me. I’m insane. Clearly!

Ryker is going to meet with Damien and I know he’ll tell him what I said. I know he will. He’s that kind of guy who will do that just to split me and Damien up. And he’ll state that he did it for my own good.

I know he will!

I need to tell Damien first. That’s what I need to do. But I broke my damn phone. Looking around the room, I see the hotel land line and pick up the phone. It’s been forever since I used one of these and I have to really think to remember what Damien’s cell number is. I finally remember it and call him.

He answers on the first ring, “Hello?”

“Damien, it’s me, Gia.”

“Why are you calling me from this number? Where is your phone?”

“I broke it. I tripped and it flew out of my hand and hit the…” I stop lying and think about what I’m going to say. “That’s a lie. I threw it at the wall. I’ve done something stupid, Damien.”

I hear a voice in the background say, “Is that Gia?”

“Is that Ryker?” I ask him.

“Yes, he just walked in. Why did you throw your phone at the wall and break it, Gia?”

“I’ll tell you why,” I hear Ryker say and I fall to my knees.

“Gia, why does Ryker know why you would throw your phone?” he asks me with a stern tone.

“I don’t know what to say, Damien. This should be discussed between you and I. Tell him not to talk about it,” I say and hope Ryker will do what Damien asks him to.

“I should let him tell me, Gia. Goodbye.” He ends the call and my hope of telling him before Ryker does.

An odd sensation washes over me, fear mixed with relief. Damien will end this thing we have. I won’t be looked at by my family quite the same way anymore. Their worlds will be turned upside down, as will mine.

Dad will have to scramble to get the farm going again. I have no idea what my sisters’ spoiled husbands will do to make money. I won’t have the option of working for Apollo Engineering any longer.

Getting up, I go and get my purse to look inside of it. I find my wallet and see all I have to my name is two hundred dollars. I’m broke. I have no place to go and no way to get anywhere anyway.

My eyes go to the vodka on the table and I make my way to it. Filling a small, clear, plastic cup, I sit in a chair at the table and try to think about what my next step will be.

I’ve never felt more alone. Abandoned.

It occurs to me that I should just leave before Damien gets back and we have one ugly scene. I need to pack and go. But to where?

My family is in Nebraska. So far away.

Why did I do it? Why did I say those words to him? Why would I sabotage myself this way?

I’ve never made bigger mistakes. I’ve always calculated my plans and actions and this time I went off without thinking and I’ve cost me and my family everything.

The vodka burns as it goes down my throat. Then the pain of it ebbs and I begin to feel a bit numb. I want this feeling. I don’t want to feel a thing anymore.

I don’t want to feel unloved anymore. I don’t want to feel used anymore. I don’t want to feel anything anymore.

How could I have gone and screwed up so badly?

Part 4 - The Concerned

RYKER

My temper flares at Damien, who seems unmoved by what I’ve just told him about Gia. “Did you hear me?” I ask him. “She loves me, Damien. Has she ever told you that?”

“That’s none of your business, Ryker. The fact is, she belongs to me. I have no idea what’s going through her mind right now. I’d imagine you threw yourself at her, flirted with abandonment, and cajoled her into thinking she has feelings for you. Her life, for now anyway, is with me. She knows that,” he tells me then sets his briefcase on the small table in a private section of the restaurant we’re having our meeting at.

His blatant disregard for Gia’s feelings is anything but okay with me. “You speak as if you own her, this is the second time you’ve said something like that. You do realize I can pay her too, don’t you?”

His laugh is making me even angrier at him as he says, “She knows I will provide. Where you are concerned, I doubt she believes in you enough to take that chance.”

“You’ve turned her into nothing more than a prostitute, Damien. How can you justify doing that to a woman of her intelligence?”

His icy eyes narrow at me as he says, “And you have just said you would do the same thing to her. Offer her money to take care of her family. So, tell me again how I’m a terrible person and you’re not.”

“I said I could pay her, I never said I would. For a moment in time, I contemplated it and even offered that to her. But since then I have taken that offer off the table. I wouldn’t hand her one dime. But I would offer her a job. One that pays her what she’s worth and not a penny more. You see, she needs to learn her self-worth. You took that away from her when you pulled her into your life, her and her family. You surrounded her with all you think she and they will ever need and you did it for your own selfish reasons. Love not being one of them.”

He looks at me with a lack-luster expression that tells me he’s not worried one damn bit about me as a rival. “You tell me why she’d leave me for you then. If you don’t plan on giving her all I have, then why would she put her family in that precarious position, Ryker? The answer is, she won’t.”

“You have her bound to you and it’s unhealthy for her.” I take a seat across the table from him where he’s taken one and try to get into his head. He has to have a soul in there somewhere, so I push the parent button, he doesn’t know that I know he has. “If you had a child and someone was crippling them the way you have done to Gia and her family, what would you do?”

“I don’t think of what I’m doing as crippling anyone. I have a vast amount of money that will be left here when I go to Mars. Someone should have it. And she is my companion in the meantime. I offered to marry her, did she tell you that?”

“She did and she told me she wouldn’t be marrying you,” I let him know. “Did she tell you that?”

He looks away for only a moment, letting me know she did not tell him that. “She hasn’t told me one way or the other. It matters not. It’s a thing I was doing to make her feel more secure. Did she tell you that I told her I love her?” His eyes cut to mine with a curious expression filling his face.

I nod. “And she told me she did not tell you those words in return. She does not love you, Damien. She is in love with me. Yet, you want to keep her. You want to keep her dependent on you. And you expect me to sit back and accept it all.”

“If she wants to leave me, she can. I won’t stop her. If that’s what you mean. But when she finds you offer her nothing, I don’t see that happening. Do you?” he asks then opens his briefcase and pulls out a ton of papers. “Here is the contract for manufacturing the boosters. This is the real reason for our meeting this afternoon. Gia was never on the agenda.”

Tapping my finger on the table, I pull the contract over and begin to read it. I have to let this thing with Gia go. He’s right, she won’t leave him for me. Not when I will refuse to hand her or her family a damn thing. It’s not that I can’t, it’s that it’s not good for any of them.”

“My lawyer will have to read this first before I sign it. I’ll take it home with me and read over it then get it to him and then back to you. You will be leaving at the end of the week, right?” I ask him.

“Yes, on Sunday. Can you get it back to me by then or will I need to extend my visit?”

“I’ll have it to you. But I want you to know that I’ll be sending Gia a formal letter, asking her to join my team and work for Apollo Engineering as a food engineer. She will have this week to make a decision about taking the job or not. And I will not be talking to her on my own. I want her to know she has other avenues she can choose, without sex being a part of it.”

His eyes close as his face goes red and now it seems I’ve made him angry. My offer must be a thing he’s worried she will accept. When his eyes open, his color has returned to normal and his words come out clean and crisp, “Do what you want.”

With a nod, I open my briefcase and put the vast amount of paperwork the contract consists of into it and close it. “Thank you for allowing me to treat Gia like a fellow human being, Damien.”

“Sarcasm is not a thing you wear well, Ryker. You and I both know she won’t take the job. She has no place to stay. The money my company paid for her invention was spent long ago. Her only money is the small amount of cash I have given her. She has no car, no home, and no way to put a roof over her head to stay here. And if you offer her those things, then it will be you who is taking care of her the way you are accusing me of doing. It will be you who makes her your prostitute. I don’t look at her in that light. Gia means more to me than that. You wouldn’t understand, though.”

“People helping people?” I ask him as I get up to leave, tired of him and this conversation. “I suppose that’s how you think of what you’re doing.”

“It is. We’re here to help one another. I can help her and her whole family. She can help me with mine. It’s a win-win. We enjoy each other’s company and we enjoy having sex with one another. Another win-win. I can see you enjoy digging into her. You enjoy watching her squirm with your flattery and flirting. But you offer nothing deep, the way I do. You offer her no security, the way I do. You only offer her cheap sex and a job. Go ahead, make her your offer, Ryker. I’m sure your heart won’t be broken when she turns the offer down. You do have other women who tend to your needs, after all. Your heart isn’t in Gia’s hands.”

“Your heart isn’t in her hands, either.” I watch him as he blinks a few times as he realizes he doesn’t have anything more than a financial hold on her. “And apparently, I hold her heart in the palm of my hand. What should I do with it, I wonder?”

Leaving the room, before he can say another word, I find him coming up behind me at a fast pace. “Get in touch with me as soon as you have the contract signed.”

I nod and he walks faster to get ahead of me. He seems to be in a hurry to get somewhere. Back to his hotel room, no doubt. Back to work on Gia’s head, so she won’t want my offer.

It wasn’t my plan to make her one. But his actions and words had me thinking she needs to know she has other things she can do. But the problem of not being able to give her a place to live and upfront money is an issue I didn’t foresee. But then again, the woman is smart and I’d assume she’s resourceful when she needs to be.

All I can do is put the ball in her court, I can’t make her hit it!

GIA

My body being shaken, has me waking from my drunken slumber. I have no idea how much vodka I drank but I drank it until I passed out. “Gia! What have you done?” Damien shouts at me as I find it’s him who is shaking me.

“Damien,” I mumble as I’m still drunk. “I’m sorry.” I start crying again.

He wraps me in his strong arms and holds me tight. “I didn’t know you’d take this all so hard. I really didn’t. I had hoped you could cope with it all. I hoped you and I were close enough for you to handle my real life. Was I wrong, Gia? Are not strong enough to handle this?”

“Strong?” I ask then hiccup.

Pulling back, he looks at me and nods. “I know you’re a strong person. That’s what first attracted me to you. I thought you’d understand what it is I have to do to make sure my son has me in his life.”

“You aren’t mad at me?” I ask him as I was sure he’d show up and tell me to get the hell out.

“I’m not happy with you, right now. I mean, you’ve obviously been seeing Ryker behind my back. But you can stop doing that, can’t you? He’s just a playboy. He’s not ever going to be the kind of man you need. The kind of man who offers you a lifetime of security for you and your family.”

“What did he tell you?” I ask as my stomach feels terrible and I hold back a wretch as my tears stop falling.

“He told me that you told him you loved him.” His eyes pierce mine. “Now, I know you don’t really love him. You might like the attention he’s been pouring on you. The flirting, the flattering. I know, you and I, don’t do that. We’re beyond that point in our relationship.”

“A relationship that’s going nowhere,” I say then burp. “I think I need to get up and throw up.”

He helps me off the bed and holds me tight to his side, taking me to the bathroom. Grabbing a rubber band off the vanity counter top, he pulls my hair back into a high ponytail. “Now you won’t get anything in your hair. Should I leave you?”

I nod and he goes out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Getting on my knees in front of the toilet, I let it all come up. I don’t know what I was thinking with drowning myself in alcohol. It didn’t solve a thing and now it seems Damien isn’t tossing me away like the rubbish I feel like I am.

When I get it all out, I wash my face, brush my teeth and go back to find him watching television. He smiles as I come out and pats the place on the sofa next to him.

Taking the seat, he’s offered, he puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer, giving my cheek a kiss. “Do you feel any better?”

“Not really. How can you be okay with what I did, Damien?”

“For the same reason, you will become okay with what I did.”

“Do,” I correct him. “You’re still doing it.”

“For my son, Gia. Only for him,” he reminds me of how noble he is.

Leaning my head on his shoulder, I think about what I should do. I was set to run away from them both. Instead, I drank myself into oblivion and stayed right where I’ve been the last three years. Dependent on Damien and still on board with being his companion until he leaves Earth.

Only now, I know he has other obligations he’s been worried about and I also have the knowledge I am not the only woman he’s sharing a bed with. Somehow, I think this should hurt worse than it does.

I’m hurt by it but I don’t feel the stab of jealousy I did when I found out Ryker went out with another woman. I saw red and went out of my mind over that.

“That man knows how to work women up into a sexual frenzy. He’s a master at it. He did that to you. I don’t blame you. I blame him. But if you continue to allow him to talk to you in such a way then I will blame you,” he tells me as he strokes my arm with his fingertip. “He will never do the things I do for you. He may say he loves you but I show you that I do.”

“And for that, I haven’t even returned those words to you.” I think about that for a moment then pull my head off his shoulder to look at him. “Does it hurt you that I care for you but I don’t love you?”

“It should hurt worse than it does. When Ryker told me that you told him those words, I was a bit taken aback. But then I thought about it and I believe you merely said those words in a fit of retaliation. My news hurt you worse than you want to admit. You haven’t known that man long enough to know if you love him or not. And I can tell you now, he’s shallow and not a person you can count on. He’s all talk and his only actions would be sexual. You’re better than that and smarter.”

“I am, aren’t I?” I ask him as I search his eyes for the truth. “That news did mess me up. And I did a stupid thing and now that I think about it, it was because I wanted to let you feel what it feels like. But I don’t need to do that to myself. I need to make this situation work.”

“Do you trust me to do what I’ve told you I will for you and your family, Gia?” he asks me as he squeezes my shoulders.

“I do.”

“Do you feel like you are selling yourself to me, the way Ryker says he thinks you are?”

“Do you?” I ask as I bite my lip.

He shakes his head. “I do not feel that way.”

“I never did, until he threw that at me. He thinks I’m a whore, a paid whore, Damien. He told me that to my face.”

“He’s wrong. You and I know we are much more to one another than something that simple. And now I think you and I need to make this thing even deeper. I want you to meet Svetlana and Friedrich. I want us to be more like a little family. I would have much more time with my son if we could figure out a way for her to be incorporated into our lives.”

My stomach lurches again and I jump up and run to throw up in the bathroom again. Damien just keeps pushing me one step further. I swear the man isn’t going to stop until he has us both in his bed with him every night!

After another bout of nausea, I clean my face again, brush my teeth again and go back into the room to find him watching television, like nothing is wrong.

“Vodka doesn’t agree with you, Gia. I suppose you forgot about that.” His eyes cut to the side to look at me. “It’s so unattractive.”

“I’m sorry,” I find myself apologizing. “Damien, I need to be honest with you. This thing with the other woman is a thing that’s hard for me to take.”

“I need your help and you’re telling me you won’t give it to me?” he asks me as he turns off the television. “After all I’ve done for you? I take care of your mother and father. Not to mention your sisters, their husbands, and children? And all I am asking is for you to make nice with Svetlana. Pretend you want her to be our personal maid. That way, she and Friedrich can live in our part of the estate. I can see my son every day. But you don’t want to do that for me or for a young boy who needs his father?”

My stomach twists with what he’s asking of me. Then I make him an offer. “If I do that, then I will take a bedroom away from yours. You and she can share a room and be what it is you will be when you leave anyway. I’ll be what you need me to be in front of your family but nowhere else. I don’t want sex to be involved. It’s making me feel bad about myself.”

“You don’t care that I want you in that way?” he asks me then gets up and takes me in his arms, swaying a bit with me then placing his lips on my forehead. “I don’t want to lose what we have, at all. I merely want to add to it.”

“Are you telling me that one day you will be wanting to add her to our bedroom?

“No, I’m not saying anything like that. I will still keep you two separate in that way. I’m not trying to make you do sexual things you don’t want to. I don’t want you both at the same time, anyway.”

I shudder as I think about what he’s asking of me. “I am to let you have your cake and eat it too?”

“And in return, I will leave you billions of dollars to ensure you and your family have more than a lifetime of monetary gains. I just want more time with my son. Like I told you before, I don’t think it’s fair to leave any woman sexually frustrated. Especially if you’re asking her not to look for that attention elsewhere.”

I nod, even though I don’t understand entirely. I get that he’s from a place where families rule over everyone in them. I get that he needs help and that he’s willing to pay for that help. I get it all but I don’t know if I can do this to myself.

What I was putting up with, being in a loveless relationship for my family and myself was hard enough. Putting up with a man who is sleeping with another woman may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Or my sanity!

RYKER

After checking with a few places, I’ve found that if Gia looks into it hard enough, she can find places that will let her live for free until she gets on her feet, especially if she has a job and Gia will have a great one that will pay her after two weeks of working for my company.

She can get on the state’s food program and will be able to eat. The places that will give her shelter will also give her a free bus pass. Her life won’t be that easy for the next couple of weeks if she takes the job offer but then it will be fine and she will see that she can do this on her own.

I think it will bring her to a place that’s much more mentally healthy for her. Her parents have the family farm they can get back to with a little ingenuity. There are grants her parents can get from the government that I can help them find and fill out.

I’m sure her sisters and brothers-in-law can figure out how to get jobs. Surely, those men worked somewhere before Damien took over their lives, spoiling them. The whole family will be better off than they were.

Well, not financially, but they will be better off than they are now, mentally speaking. That’s if she decides to turn over a new leaf. I might be disappointed in her. I most likely will. I know that. I know that chances of her walking away from all that money are slim. There’s just something about her that makes me want to help her find the woman I know she’s lost.

I’m sure that woman is remarkable. Smart, funny, secure!

I don’t care if she never wants to get together with me. I just want to see her become the woman she can be. The woman she should be!

After having my secretary draft an invitation to interview for a food engineering position, I had a messenger take it to Gia at the hotel. I made sure she could see, she has a deadline. By Friday I will need her answer. She has five days, including the rest of today, to make a great decision that will change her and her family’s lives.

Now to see if she does it…

GIA

A knock at the hotel room door has me wondering who it could be as Damien goes to answer it. A frown is on his face for some reason. It makes me think he has an idea of who it is.

As he opens the door, I see a young man at it with a large manila envelope. “This is for Miss Flynn.” He hands the thing to Damien and leaves, leaving me wondering even more.

“For me?” I ask as he brings me the package.

“Ryker sent it. To lure you away from me,” he says then tosses it on the sofa next to me. “Here, look at it, don’t look at it, I don’t care. I’m sure he thinks he can offer you more than I can but can he be trusted?”

Looking at the envelope but not touching it, I think about how Damien will really feel if I open it to see what Ryker is offering me. “I’m sure you’re right, Damien. Just throw it away. The man has caused enough trouble as it is. I need to learn how to ignore him. He has my head a mess, after all.”

“That he does,” Damien says and comes to pick up the thing and takes it then throws it in the trashcan near the door. “I’d like to invite Svetlana and Friedrich over to the room, so you can get to know one another.”

Swallowing hard, I find myself feeling ill again but say, “Okay.” Why do I do shit like that?

I don’t want to deal with this right now. Maybe not ever!

But the word just slipped out of my mouth, even though I don’t mean it at all. I can’t think of how I’ll take being around her. I know she has a place in Damien’s life but damn!

“They’re just a few doors down. I’ll go get them,” he says then leaves.

I jump up and go to the bathroom. I look kind of crappy with being hungover already and feeling so unsettled. And what about the thing Ryker offered me? Why was I so quick to chunk it? Why did I leave that up to Damien? What’s wrong with me?

I run back out and take the thing out of the trash and hide it in a drawer. Maybe I will look at what it is later. When Damien’s not around to watch me.

The door opens just as I close the drawer and I turn to find Damien coming in, carrying a little boy who looks so much like him there’s not a doubt in my mind the kid is indeed his. A short woman, plain, and looking more than a bit sheepish is following them.

Damien beams at me. “This is Friedrich.”

The boy is shy and hides his face in Damien’s shoulder. “He’s adorable,” I say as it’s true. Then I look at the woman who won’t look up at me. “Svetlana, it’s nice to meet you.”

She looks up at me, revealing dark eyes with shadows beneath them. Life must not be as easy for her as it has been for me and that makes me feel sorry for her. Hidden away, like she’s been, must be hard.

“It is nice to meet you also, Gia. Damien has told me all about you and how you are helping him to keep us in his life. I too appreciate you and what you are doing. I am sorry for the conditions.”

At least she understands there are hardships on my part. It’s not all roses and cherries. “Thank you for understanding. This is an odd situation. And I think we can all agree this child and his needs outweigh all of ours.”

Damien’s smile doesn’t fade as he says, “See, Svetlana, I told you, she’s one in a million.”

I don’t feel like one in a million, I feel like a pushover. Walking away, I take a seat on the sofa and they follow. Damien coaxes the two-year-old to shake my hand and he finally does. “Hello, Friedrich. My, how handsome you are.”

He nods and lays his head back on his father’s shoulder and I find it sweet. And I also find myself feeling like a third wheel. If the place was bigger and there were more rooms, I’d excuse myself and go hide away from the little family that is Damien and these people.

“What you are doing is beyond selfless,” the woman tells me. “I can’t say I’d do the same if I was in your shoes.”

“Nonsense,” Damien says then gives her a stern look. “And what have I told you about talking that way?”

So, he rules over her too. Interesting.

“We should all go out to dinner,” I say as I get up to find some clothes to change into. “I’m starving and we might as well start being seen in public together. Once we go back to Russia at the end of the week, this charade will begin. I think it’s best that way. We can say I found her here. We can say she was working for Ryker’s staff and I asked her to come work for us.”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself, Gia,” Damien says. “She has family in Russia. I will come up with a plausible story.”

“He already has,” she says as she looks at him with a frown. “You have not told her everything?”

“Not everything.” He looks at me with a grin. “You see, I’ve already called home. A place has been readied for them. I told them you hired her and had her brought to us, in America, to interview her. She filled out an application at a temp agency and I answered it, under your name, back in Russia.”

“My name?” I ask as I feel a bit violated.

“Yes, I wanted nothing to come back to me. So, the story is that you hired her and we will bring them back with us on the company jet.”

“What does he call you?” I ask Damien as I gesture to his son.

“Mr. Markov.”

I find that appalling. “Yet, he knows who you are to him, right?”

“No,” Damien says then looks at the child’s mother. “I am merely his mother’s friend who comes around a lot and pays special attention to him.”

“But when you leave to go to Mars, you will tell him the truth, right?” I ask.

The boy’s mother nods. “That is when he will be told. So, you see, that’s not to be talked about. You do understand.”

I nod and say, “Well, with the story told to me then we can still go get something to eat.”

“And you need a new cell, don’t you?” Damien asks as he sets the boy down and hands him something out of his pocket, a little toy to play with.

“I could use one,” I say then go into the bathroom to freshen myself up.

I can hear them mumbling and can’t quite make it all out. I know she’s about as happy with this, as I am. She’s not keen on another woman being around her son. I can hear her telling him that I am not to get close to their son.

Damien is agreeing with her and I feel left out. Why bring me into this and make it where I have to virtually ignore a child? Why do this to me at all? Why am I allowing it?

I grit my teeth and look at myself in the mirror. “What’s wrong with you? Do you think you deserve this?”

A light knock on the bathroom door has me looking at it and I open it to find Damien standing there. “She’d rather not join us. She wants to keep things very separate. I think she’s afraid our son will get close to you. The same way I want no other man in his life, she wants no other woman.”

With a sigh, I walk out of the bathroom, finding them gone, and say, “How is this supposed to be, Damien? Am I to ignore the kid and her or what?”

“Treat her the way you’d treat any of our maids and their children.” He takes my hand and leads me out of our room. “It’ll all work out. You’ll see.”

I’m not happy with this situation at all. But I can’t seem to tell him that. I can’t seem to find my voice. I can’t begin to understand when I lost myself. I guess around the time he gave my family all the money he did…

RYKER

It’s Wednesday and not a word has been heard from Gia. My lawyer has told me to sign the contract for Markov Global and I’ve done that and am waiting for Damien to show up to pick it up.

I don’t have to wait for him. I could leave and go home for the day but I’m interested in seeing what he has to say about the proposal I sent to Gia. I did expect something out of her by now. I’m not sure why I did but I did.

“Mr. Markov is here, sir,” the secretary tells me over the intercom.

“Send him in,” I say as I push the button.

He strides into my office with a certain confidence that seems more on the cocky side, in my opinion. “Ryker.”

I get up and shake his hand. “Damien.”

“I see you’ve signed the contract. Good,” he says then sits down and picks up the stack, going through each page to be sure they’re all signed.

“I will be coming to your factory at the end of the month. Will that be a suitable time to see how things are going?” I ask him.

He nods and puts the contract into his briefcase. “That will be fine. I can make arrangements for that.”

Walking back to my chair, I find myself bristling with curiosity. “Did Gia get my package?”

“Yes,” he says then gets up. “I have a lot to do. I’ll keep in touch.”

Just before he walks back out the door, he just came into, I ask, “What did she think about the offer?”

“She tossed it into the rubbish bin without opening the envelope.” And with that, he walks out the door, leaving me with my mouth hanging open.

She didn’t even open it!

Anger rises inside of me so fast, I find myself throwing a paperweight off my desk and it hits the wall, leaving a dent in it. “Shit!”

Jumping up, I begin to pace and wonder why the hell I’d even give her a damn offer in the first place. She’s obviously happy right where she is.

She doesn’t seem happy but she must be. Maybe she’s one of those idiot savants. Clever in some ways and daft as hell in others. Whatever she is, I’m done with her!

Leaving my office, I get to the elevator bank and stop when I see Damien with that woman and kid again. They must’ve been waiting for him. He gets onto an elevator with them and I take a different one down.

Tailing them, secretly, I see them get into a cab and get into one too and tell them to follow the one Damien and his family got into. When I see them going somewhere to eat, I know I can find Gia, alone.

“The Four Seasons, please,” I tell the driver.

I shouldn’t care. I really shouldn’t. I should leave her the hell alone and never think about the woman again. But there’s concern building in me for her.

Can she be into something with the man that has him holding something over her head? Maybe something as sinister as killing her family?

Nothing she’s doing is making any sense to me. I know I’ve had money my whole life but would middle-class people really go this far to ensure great wealth for them and their family?

I can’t see it. I just can’t. Not when her father was a successful farmer and she could be a successful food engineer. Now, if everyone was stupid, I could see it. But none of them are.

There just has to be more to it than what she’s told me. There has to be!

The cab pulls up to the hotel and I pay him then get out. Going straight up to their hotel room, I knock on the door and finally can breathe normally when I hear her say, “Hold on a sec.”

I don’t say a word, worried she’ll hear my voice and not open the door. When it opens, I can see by her surprised expression that I was right on the money. “Gia.”

“No!” she snaps then tries to close the door. It’s too late, I’m inside and have a hold of her arm.

“You didn’t even open my letter?” I ask as I kick the door closed behind me.

“Let me go!”

“No. Why would you not even look at what I have to offer you?” I ask her as I shake her a bit then stop myself and let her go. I’m between her and the door, she’s not going anywhere.

“I saw no reason to see what you wanted to give me. You told me what you think of me.” She turns and walks away from me. She’s wearing a tiny little dress that leaves nothing to the imagination and some sky-high heels.

“And where might you be going all dolled up like that?” I ask her as I follow her.

“Out later. With Damien.” She stops and spins around to glare at me. “And you can see your way out, I’m sure.”

“Do you know where your man is right now, Gia?”

She nods and turns away from me again. “I know everything.”

Taking her by her arm, I flip her back to look at me. “And this is all okay with you?”

“No, but it is what it is,” she says and I can see behind the face full of makeup that she’s conceded to the man. She’ll do whatever he wants her to just as long as in the end, he pays her.

“Gia, I’m concerned about you. You’re too smart to do this.”

She looks at me with shining eyes. Her arm is quivering and I notice she’s broken out into goosebumps. Her breathing is heavy and her chest is heaving.

When her lips part, I find I can’t stand it any longer. She is easy to pull into my arms and as our chests collide, I can feel just how hard her heart is beating.

She’s completely still as my hands travel up her back and one takes her neck and holds her while the other moves back down and I cup her ass. When she licks her lips, I can’t take it anymore and I kiss her.

She wants it too as her mouth opens for me and her tongue goes to work on mine. Her hands move up my back and tangle in my hair. She moves one foot up the back of my leg, opening her body to mine.

The bed isn’t far and I move back with her until it stops us. I fall onto the bed with her and kiss her harder than I’ve ever kissed anyone. She wraps her legs around me as I grind into her.

Her moan makes my mouth vibrate and I can’t stop myself from groaning in response. Finally, I pull my mouth off hers and find her looking at me with wide eyes. “If I take you, you will be mine and only mine,” I tell her and her eyes close.

“No,” she whispers. “If it has to be that way, then my answer is no.”

I roll off her, madder than hell. “Gia, why? Why can’t you admit you have feelings for me?”

She leans up on one arm, her dark blue dress is bunched up around her waist and her black panties are making my mouth water. She doesn’t even try to get herself back together as she licks her lips. “I have admitted that to you, Ryker. You have yet to admit that to me.”

“You want me to tell you that I love you?” I ask her. “And if I do then will you be mine?”

She shakes her head. “No. I belong to Damien until he leaves this planet.”

“I can’t have a mere piece of you. I want you all!”

“And why is that?” she asks as she pushes down one side of her dress, revealing to me one perfect, naked breast. The nipple looks as if it’s pulsing and I find I’m trembling.

“I don’t know if I love you yet. Do you want me to lie?” I ask her as my mouth is watering like crazy to taste that pert tit.

“I want you to tell me the truth. If you don’t love me then why do you want me to yourself?” she asks me then runs her hand over her tit the way I want to run my mouth over it.

“Stop,” I moan as I watch her. “I can’t explain why it is I want you to myself. I just fucking do.”

“You should leave,” she tells me as she uncovers her other breast. “You want more from me than is mine to give. You have my heart, Ryker. When he leaves I can come to you. And in the meantime, we can play around. He doesn’t need to know.”

And just like that, she’s pissed me off. “What has gotten into you? Put yourself away. You’re making a fool out of yourself!”

She sits up and tucks her boobs back into the dress and pulls it back into place to cover her panties back up. “Ryker, you are all over the place with yourself. You flirted with a woman who was obviously with a man. You baited and tempted me to no end. And now that I’m willing to give you what you want, you want more. More than I have to give.”

“Leave him,” I tell her. “Leave him. Take the job I offered you.”

“I can’t.” She gets up and walks to the dresser and pulls out the opened envelope. “I read your offer when Damien wasn’t around. I suppose he told you at your meeting that I didn’t read it but I did. I just didn’t tell him anything about it. I’m not dressed like this for him. I knew you’d come looking for me. It was me who told him to take his kid and the kid’s mother out for the evening. I feigned feeling sick.”

“Damn, you’re devious,” I say as I’m seeing her in a light that I don’t much like.

“I wouldn’t say that. I’m just going out of my mind with what life has thrown at me. I need a quick fix. A roll in the hay with you might right my head again. Or it might just kill me. Either way, something changes. I’m not in control and I know that.”

“You are in control,” I tell her and see she is swaying in the breeze here. “You can have a job. I want you to do the rest on your own, to prove to yourself that you can.”

The way she looks at me has me worried. Her chest rises and falls with her breathing. Like the process is almost too hard for her. “If you could feel the weight I carry, you might understand me better. It feels like an elephant is on my shoulders. There’s not just my family to think about any longer. There’s this little kid. A kid I feel so sorry for because he can’t know that Damien is his father until they leave this world. All because of money.”

“That isn’t your problem,” I tell her and go to take her in my arms again as I can’t seem to stop myself from doing it. “Baby, listen to yourself. You’re letting him make you think only you can help him with the shit he’s gotten himself into.”

“The poor kid, Ryker. This poor, little, innocent kid will live in poverty. Sure, he’ll have his mother and father but at what cost? It’s a few years of my life. I can handle it. I know I can. But it would be so much easier of I had you as my little hidden secret.”

“I am not a man who hides,” I tell her as I cradle her in my arms. “And you should not be a woman who martyrs herself for anyone. Not even a child. Has it ever occurred to you that Damien isn’t being honest with you? Have you not thought about asking his family some, what if, questions to see what they’d really do?”

“He’d kill me if I did,” she says and shudders. “Ryker, why can’t you work with me? Why can’t we just have one another and keep this all to ourselves? Please. You have no idea how much easier that would make my life if I knew I had you, in secret, but that I had you.”

“You make it sound easy. But it’s not. I’d go insane with the thought of him touching you. Being intimate with you. Can you tell me you wouldn’t hate the fact I would be with other women too?”

Her eyes fall away from mine as she nods. “I’d hate that.”

“Your quick fix isn’t what you think it will be. And I know better than to do that to myself, whether you do or not.” I kiss her again. Long and slow. I hold her in a loose grip, running my hands up and down her sides.

When I end the kiss, I feel more than I did before and my heart races as I say, “I do love you, Gia. Leave him.”

Looking into each other’s eyes for the longest time, she finally says, “I can’t.”

“Then neither can I,” I tell her then let her go.

My heart feels awful. It’ filled with love and hate at the same time. I didn’t know this was possible. Each step I take toward the door has me feeling more and more weak.

“Ryker,” she whispers. I stop and wait to see what she’s going to say. Her hands move over my back. “Please tell me you love me again.”

“Why, it won’t change a thing?”

“I love you, Ryker. I will be yours alone as soon as he leaves. I can make it where he and I don’t have sex at all. I can pull that off. Then once he leaves, you and I can be together.”

“I’m leaving too, you forget that.” I turn around and find her looking down at the ground.

Her eyes cloud and she steps back. “Oh yeah.”

“Oh yeah,” I say and step forward, taking her back into my arms. “We have limited time if you refuse to go too. Or we can have the rest of our lives if you’ll come to Mars with me.”

“I don’t want to leave my family,” she says. “That’s the reason I won’t go. I’m giving up time now, so I can have time with them later.”

“Has it ever occurred to you that you should give the people you love your time now? You never know when that will be taken away from you. Your way of handling life will bite you in the ass if you keep it up.”

“What are you offering me, really, Ryker?” she asks as she gazes at me. “Are you offering me marriage?”

“Marriage?” I ask as I wasn’t looking that far ahead. “Can’t we get to know one another better?” I laugh a little and watch her frown.

“You’re a risk and Damien isn’t.”

“Damien is a sure thing,” I tell her. “Sure, to leave you with you not knowing love for years. Sure, to leave you feeling used and abused. Sure, to hurt you in ways you can’t even imagine. You think you feel broken now, wait five years.”

“And you?” she asks as her hand moves over my cheek. “You are sure to do what?”

“With me, you get uncertainty. You get it in spades, baby. Will we work out? Who knows? Will we travel to a new world together? Who knows? Will we fall so madly in love that I stay here with you? Who knows? It’s a gamble. I will admit that to you. I can make you no promises because I refuse to lie to you. But I can tell you that I’ve never felt more of a connection to anyone in this world than I do with you.”

She moves in for another kiss and this one sends me to another place and time. It’s soft, sensual, and the easiest thing I’ve ever done. Our hands flow over each other’s bodies as the kiss grows deeper.

My feet move backward until I find the sofa behind me. I sit on it and put her on my lap, so I can move my hands over her pert breasts and then in between her legs.

She’s warm and open to me as I move my hand over her mound of flesh that provokes me to no end. I pull my mouth away to see if she’s ready to concede to me. “Be mine, Gia. Be only mine.”

Resting my forehead to hers, she gasps for air. “Ryker, please. I can be yours and yours alone but I have to live with Damien. Please understand.”

The pain in my heart is too much to take. “No.”

Gently, I pick her up and place her on the sofa and get up to leave. I won’t let her stop me this time. I can’t. She’s made up her mind and I can’t take what she has to offer me.

“Ryker!” she shouts but she doesn’t get up.

“You know what I want. I will take nothing less than that. I hope you take my advice and get up on your own feet. Stop playing martyr, stop playing victim, stop playing house with Damien. And stop playing with my heart, Gia. Just stop it all and take your life back.”

Then I walk out the door and down the long hallway to the elevator. When the doors open, Damien and his little family come off it. “Ryker?” he asks me with concern. “You look like you’ve been hit by a truck.”

I can’t even look at him or say a word to him. I get onto the elevator and push the button that will get me the hell away from them all. That man will never do what’s right for Gia and God knows she won’t help herself, either.

I know I should be happy I know that, without a shadow of a doubt now. But I don’t feel happy at all. I feel crushed by the knowledge. Crushed that she’d do this to herself. I am but a by-product of her self-annihilation.

At least I know there’s nothing I can do anymore. That should help but it doesn’t…

GIA

Lying in a crumpled heap on the sofa where Ryker left me, I find myself in a puddle of tears, yet again. I’m so tired of crying and feeling sorry for myself.

The door opens and in steps Damien then he steps right back out. “She’s a mess. I don’t want Friedrich to see this. I’ll come to you soon.”

He comes back in and I shout at him. “Go with her. Leave me alone!”

“What did he do to you? Why did you let him in? What the hell do you have on?” his questions pepper me in rapid succession.

“Just leave me alone!” I shout at him again.

“He’s ruining everything,” he says then begins pacing and throwing his arms up into the air. “Three years we have managed to keep it together. Less than two weeks this man has come in and made you doubt everything we’ve built. You, my dear woman, are a billionaire. Your family will be taken care of forever. That was great with you, just days ago. Then he came along and you have been a wreck ever since. He does strange things to your mind.”

“Yes, he does. He tells me things that are true. He tells me I’m smart. No, brilliant. He tells me I’m worthy of love. He tells me he wants me but he won’t share me.”

“Neither will I,” he says, infuriating me.

“Yet, I must share you!”

“You’ve just recently found that out and it’s a shock to you, I know. But the money…”

I slap the hell out of him and he recoils. “Damien!” I hurry to run my hand over the red mark I’ve left on his face. “My God! Damien, I’m sorry! I am. What am I becoming?”

“Erratic,” he whispers as he looks at me with hurt in his eyes. “You need to step away from me.”

I step back as he’s asked me to. “I am sorry. I am. Ryker makes me crazy.”

“Yes, he does. His influence on you is appalling.” He rubs his cheek then goes to sit down on the edge of the bed. “I need to think about things, Gia.”

I can see it running through his head. He’s worried I can’t stand up to the pressure of this situation and I suddenly find a river of strength that’s been dormant inside of me. “You can count on me, Damien. I’ll get a grip. This thing with the new woman is going all over me. I’m a mess. Ryker is pushing buttons and it’s all been too much. When we get home, things will even out. I can pretend I don’t know a thing about Svetlana and your son. I need to act like that, anyway, don’t I?”

“We need to get you home sooner rather than later. I don’t think Ryker will ease up on you. Not the way I saw him looking. He’s fallen for you.” He gets up and walks into the bathroom as he rubs his cheek.

My heart pounds like crazy in my chest and I wait to see if it will hop right out and leave me, chasing Ryker down.

He’s fallen for me!

How can I leave here? How can I turn my back on him?

I have my family to think about. Ryker said it, himself. He’s a gamble and Damien isn’t. Ryker isn’t promising me a damn thing and Damien is. I have to get back to my life in Russia with Damien.

He walks out of the bathroom. “The only way this is going to work is if you never see him again. Once I’m gone, I don’t care what you do. Until then, you will stay away from that man. He will have to come to Russia at least once. At the end of this month. When he is coming, I will send you to see your family. I don’t want you two in the same place ever again, until I am gone. Do you understand me, Gia?”

“Yes,” I say and fall to my knees as I look up at him. “Thank you, Damien! Thank you for not giving up on me. Love is fleeting and financial security is forever. Thank you.”

His face is stern as he looks down at me. “We will need stricter rules. I’ll need your cell and you will only be allowed to call your family when I’m around to make sure that’s who you’re talking to. Agreed?”

I nod. “Yes, agreed.”

“Get it for me. I want it now. You are weak, where he’s concerned.”

I get up off my knees and hurry to get him the phone, he just bought me, from my purse. “Here,” I say as I hand him my phone.

“I’m sorry I’ll have to be so strict with you. This is too important not to be. My son is at risk.”

“I understand. I do. I never understood more than I do right now. Ryker is making me something I’m not. When I give my word, I mean it. I never go back on it. I gave it to you. I am yours until you leave. Whatever that entails.”

“Yes, whatever that entails. Now, it means you must ignore the fact of what I will be doing under the roof I share with you and my family. You must only think of the money and not your foolish pride.”

The term, foolish pride, echoes in my brain. Is it really that, I’m feeling? I don’t think so. I think it’s more than pride. But I’m not about to argue with Damien about the words he’s used. Not after all I’ve done.

“Go wash yourself. I’m going to make the arrangements to leave as soon as possible. I have to go to help Svetlana get the things together. You can handle getting our things together. I’ll be back soon. I can’t wait to leave this place and that man. It’s amazing the change he’s made in you in such a short amount of time. I can honestly say, I never saw this coming from you. You’re always level headed and business minded.”

I nod and watch him leave as he shakes his head in confusion. I too am confused. Why would I let anyone get in my way of what my goal has been?

Secure the wealth then let my real life begin. That’s been the plan since Damien told it to me.

As I go to wash away the makeup my tears have ruined, I have to face myself in the mirror. Turning a blind eye to the weak-ass person I’m looking at, I wash the black trails of mascara off my cheeks. The smudged red lipstick, Ryker helped to destroy, is washed away too.

My stomach clenches when I see a red lip imprint from his lips after he kissed me and got my lipstick on him. Across one cheek, the mark is there. Perfect and memorable.

I fall against the wall, my back to it. Staring at the place on my cheek, I close my eyes and relive the kisses, the touches, the feelings I’ve never had before and may well never have again.

His touch made my body hot and liquid in an instant. His mouth on mine felt like I was attached to an electric socket that filled me with its energy. Only it was Ryker filling me with something I didn’t know existed. Raw power and what has to be love!

But if it’s really love I feel and that he felt as well, how are we walking away from it? It is rare, isn’t it?

Filling the sink with cold water, I plunge my face into it. I have to stop thinking. I’ve kept my brain shut off for three years, what’s five or so more?

When I come back out of the water, I dry my face with a hand towel and feel my mind has gone quiet. It took some time to silence it in the beginning but I must’ve gotten used to it. I can do it again. It shouldn’t be a problem. All remnants of the man who has messed up my head are gone. I see no traces of him and with no traces, I can put him out of my mind.

I step out of the bathroom and freeze as I see him standing in the middle of the room. “I will not give you up without a fight.”

“Ryker, we’re leaving. All of us. I have to get away from you.”

“I won’t let you go.”

“Ryker,” I whisper as he falls to his knees.

“Stay. Please, stay, Gia.” Tears fall from his dark eyes and I don’t know what to do.

“If Damien comes back in here and finds you, I don’t know what he’ll do,” I tell him as I stay right where I am.

“I’m not afraid of him or what he’ll do. I’m deathly afraid of you leaving with him and me never seeing you again.”

“It’s been less than two weeks, Ryker. We’re being delusional. We don’t love each other.”

“We do,” he breathes out. “I’ve never been more certain of anything.”

“I’m going with him. I’ve made up my mind. I’ve been weak, where you’re concerned. I have to stop being weak.”

“You are being weak where he’s concerned, Gia. It’s not me, it’s him who is baiting you, leading you, manipulating you. It’s him, not me.”

My mind is spinning and a part of me wants to run into his arms and go away with him. But that part of me knows better than to do such a thing to my family.

“I’m sorry, Ryker. You have to go. We’re leaving soon. I’m going to Russia with him. There is nothing you can say or do to stop that.”

“Marry me. I will make sure you and your family are always taken care of,” he says and for some reason, it makes me furious.

“Get out! Get the fuck out, now! You’ve called me a whore for what I’m doing for Damien, yet you want the same damn thing. Get out and leave me the hell alone! I never want to see you again!” I spin around and go back into the bathroom and lock myself in. I won’t come out until Damien comes back in and he can deal with Ryker.

I hear the door close and peek out to find the room empty and then I wonder how the hell he got in here in the first place. Damien is right, we need to leave quickly. Ryker has designs on me that border on psychotic.

Part 5 - The Reactor

RYKER

Wafting trails of smoke dance around the dimly lit bar I’ve found to drown my sorrows in. Gia is leaving and there’s nothing I can do about it.

“Another shot, mister?” the bartender asks me as he picks up the empty shot glass.

“No, I think a nice large glass of bourbon with a splash of Coke is in order. I need to erase someone from my brain. You’re a professional, do you think that will do the trick?”

The pale barkeep chuckles as he goes to get me what I’ve asked for. “It sounds like it might work.” I watch him fill the glass with ice then pour the amber liquid over the clear cubes, making them crack and pop. Fissures are left behind, marring what were perfect blocks of ice. Adding a touch of coke, he brings the drink to me and places a straw on the bar next to it. “So, who needs to be erased?”

“A female who has given away her soul, so her family will never have to worry about money again.” I take a small sip of the liquid that’s still warm despite the ice.

The skinny man pushes a bowl of peanuts toward me but I merely look at them, not taking any. “I know who you are, Ryker Crawford, CEO of Apollo Engineering. And I know you are planning on being on the first mission you’re able to get going, out of here. So, what do you care if some woman has sold her soul to make sure her family is well off?”

“I shouldn’t. I know this. But she’s a brilliant person and she’s squandering her gifts. And she’s leaving true love behind for the sake of money.” I take another sip then pick up a handful of peanuts.

“You are her true love?” he asks me as he sweeps away some dust that came out of the bowl as I picked up the peanuts and I place them on a nearby napkin, instead of eating them.

“I am. And she’s admitted her love to me. But she’s still going to be with the man who will see to her financial security.”

“You’re a rich man, yourself. Why not offer her what he has?” he asks me as he makes his way to serve another patron who looks to be enjoying themselves as they tap away on their cell.

“I did and she got mad at me. But, I can’t blame her for that. I did kind of let her know I thought it was wrong of her to let the other man buy her like that. I’m at a loss with this woman. She has me turning myself inside out over her.”

As he comes back my way, he says, “You should stop doing that. She’s going to do whatever it is she wants to. It sounds as if you need to let it all go.”

I nod and take another drink. The alcohol isn’t burning my throat anymore, the numbing action has set in and I feel unsettled still but that’s begging to wane. “I should let it all go. I should be thinking about better things. More important things. I have more to do than most.”

Looking at the glass, I find I’ve drank more than half of it and I should stop while I’m still functioning. Placing a hundred on the bar, I get up and give the man a nod then leave the bar and walk out into the sunlit day that’s went on as I’ve wallowed in self-pity.

People walk up and down the sidewalks as I watch life go on. And I know my life will surely go on without Gia in it. But I’d love it if she’d never leave it.

Walking toward my office building, I find my mind wandering and the thought of making a fuel out of corn moves in and settles there. The fuels we’re working with now are burning at a fast rate. Diesel is the slowest burning fuel but we need to add more to it, to extend it even further. The addition of a corn, biofuel might be the key. The missing link!

My steps increase with my excitement and I hurry to get to my office and my computer to research the different types of corn that could be used to make the new fuel. As I step off the elevator, I get an idea.

Johnny and Donna Flynn!

Gia’s parents! They have farmland that is lying dormant but has been kept fertilized for a few years. That land would be perfect to try out a new breed of corn!

Getting into my office, I quickly turn on my laptop and get busy looking up information about corn and its use as a biofuel. Then I make a call.

“Hello, Ryker,” Johnny Flynn answers his phone. “How are you doing on this fine day?”

“I’m doing fine, Johnny. I was thinking today about corn and you happen to have an unused farm that might just help me to develop a crop that could be used to make what we’ll need to get us to Mars. What do you say to me and some of my engineers making a visit to your place to see what we can do with it?”

“That sounds exciting,” he tells me. “When would you like to come? As you know, we’re wide open.”

“This weekend sounds good to me. And I want you to know this could be a very profitable thing for you and your family. If we get the results I think we might. Can you handle that?” I ask him and wait to see if he’s as dead set on not using his brain as Gia seems to be.

“Do you really think so, Ryker?” he asks me and I can hear a bit of nervousness in his voice. “I wasn’t doing so hot with my farming before.”

“This will be different. Your crops will be in a contract. We will buy the product at a specified price, no matter what. You see, it will be our engineered seeds that make the corn. You won’t be expected to make anything, we will do that and take care of all the work that goes into raising the crops. We’ll lease your equipment and employ the people you trust to do the work the right way to ensure a healthy crop.”

“By God, I think I’m loving this idea, Ryker! I really am. This sounds exciting and to be in on the Mars missions is a thing that’ll go down in the history books. Count us in, son. You come on up here to Nebraska whenever you want to. We have a big old farmhouse, we can put you and up to ten more people up while you’re here. Donna and the girls will love cooking for you all. So, don’t you dare think of booking yourselves a motel? You hear me?”

His hospitality is overwhelming and I find my heart is pounding with his generosity. “Will do, sir. Thank you. I’ll be in touch later today to let you know the whole plan. This is exciting!”

“It is. It’s not the money I care about but being a part of the process to get people to another planet that has me so enthusiastic,” he says.

“I know money isn’t an issue for you. And this may well ensure it never is, Johnny. Talk to you soon. Bye.” I end the call and have a river of energy flowing through me.

If this can happen, Gia’s family can depend on themselves to make a legacy and financial security all on their own. Eliminating, at least, that weight. I don’t know how long she’ll see Damien’s illegitimate son as her burden to bear but at least the major one may soon be lifted.

And now I think I need to fix the damage my emotions have caused. I’ve never had any trouble keeping my head on straight before. I can’t blame Gia, entirely for how I’ve acted. I need to make amends with her.

Calling her next, I wait to hear her shriek at me or curse me. “Ryker?” Damien answers her phone. “Gia isn’t a person you should be calling.”

“I had something I wanted to say to her. I’d like it if you gave her the phone, please.” I tap my finger on my desk as I wait to see if he’ll do as I’ve asked.

“No,” he says, very simply and it makes me mad but I hang onto my temper.

“Damien, I know about your secret family. I don’t want to let your secret out but if you keep me from speaking to Gia, I will.”

“She told you?” he asks me as if that’s inconceivable.

“She did. So, give her the phone or the media will get wind of what you’re hiding,” I threaten him.

When he hangs up on me, I look up the phone number for one of the local television stations. He will not get away with what he’s doing if he expects to take Gia down to do it.

GIA

After a shower to clear my head, I’ve started packing and have gotten my head back on straight. This nonsense with Ryker got out of control and I feel much more put together.

The door to our hotel room opens and Damien strides in, tossing the cell phone at me. “Call Ryker and see what the hell he has to say. You told him about my son. He’s threatening to go to the media about it. I don’t know why you did that but it will be up to you to fix it.”

I catch the phone and feel frozen inside. “Damian, I…”

“Save it. Call him and hurry up about it. And be nice.”

His pacing is making me nervous as I find Ryker’s name in my contacts and call him. “Gia?” he asks as he answers the phone.

“It’s me.”

“Ask him if he’s called the media yet,” Damien directs me.

“I heard him,” Ryker says. “Tell him I haven’t yet.”

“He hasn’t yet, Damien,” I relay the message. “Ryker, why would you threaten that?”

“I’ll do whatever I have to, Gia. But that aside, I didn’t want you to leave thinking about how we left things. That’s not who I am. I think you and I are kind of a mess about one another. I don’t like to think of myself in that light and I’m sure you don’t like it, either.”

“I don’t like it at all,” I tell him as I watch Damien take a seat, visibly relaxing with the information that Ryker hasn’t played that card yet.

“Glad to hear we’re on the same page about this. I wanted you to know I called your father…”

“You did what?” I ask him as his words have sent a chill right down my spine.

“Not about you,” he assures me. “About making a special crop of corn to use as a biofuel. I wanted to tell you about that before you left for Russia. I also would love to have your input on that but I won’t force your hand about that. If you do have any idea or knowledge about corn being used in conjunction with other fuels, I’d really like to have your help with this. If we find something that will work, it will mean we’re that much closer to getting a mission underway.”

“I see. Well, thank you for asking but I’m afraid I’ll have to leave myself out of that.”

“Out of what?” Damien asks me, suddenly looking nervous again. “Give him what he wants. Gia!”

Putting the phone on mute, I hiss at him, “He’s not forcing me to do it, Damien. Chill out!”

He gives me a harsh look then says in a low voice that has a lot of menace behind it, “You will do as he asks. You are the one who told my secret and you are the one who will have to accept the consequences of that. It means you are in that man’s hands now, just as much as you’re in mine.”

A shiver runs through me at what he’s just said. And I have to shake my head to clear it, then answer Ryker who’s calling out, “Gia? Are you there?”

Taking the phone off mute, I answer him, “I am here. Sorry, I accidently hit the mute button. About your offer, can I think about it?”

Damien narrows his eyes at me, letting me know he expected me to take the offer. But I’m not about to fall into Ryker’s hands. Damien has no idea how hard it is for me.

“You can. And I don’t even need you to be here. You can simply help by emailing me your findings. I know you want to be with Damien,” he says and I find that odd because he knows it’s not what I want, it’s what I have to do.

“So, I can work from Russia?” I ask him and nod at Damien who nods back. “I can do that.”

“Great,” he says. “I’m going to your family’s farm this weekend. It’s a shame you’re leaving so quickly. It’d be great to have you there.”

I look at Damien and relay that information. He huffs then says, “You can go. I will stay here with my son and his mother. We will all leave, once you get back. He has us over a barrel. We have to do what he asks.”

I mute the phone again to say, “Damien, he doesn’t sound like he’s threatening anything. He’s asking and being very cooperative.”

“He’s going to get what he wants. You don’t see it but I do. Go with him to Nebraska, Gia. There’s no other choice, no matter what he’s telling you.”

Taking the phone off mute, I say, “Ryker, Damien thinks I should go with you to my family’s farm, so I will. You do understand this is strictly business, right?”

Damien pulls his hand over his face then gives me another dirty look along with a scowl. He’s pissed!

“Yes, I do realize that, Gia. Thank you. This is for the better of our people, after all,” he says. “If it’s okay, I’ll call you this evening after getting with some more of my engineers. I’ll bring by a consulting contract for you to sign this evening. Or better yet, I’ll send a messenger with it.”

“You do that, bye,” I say and end the call to deal with Damien who seems furious. And he’s right to be. “I am so sor…”

“Don’t! Don’t say you’re sorry, Gia! You have me by the balls.” He gets up and starts pacing again and I cringe and move to sit on the edge of the bed.

“It’s not me…”

He spins around and is up in my face, his words are hot on my face as he says, “It is you. You gave that man enough information to ruin me. Completely! And it will be you who caters to his every want where you’re concerned. It will be up to you to make nice with the man, so I don’t lose everything. Because if I lose it all then so do you. And your family will as well.”

“I don’t think I like the way that sounds, Damien. An hour ago, I was to never talk to him until you leave the planet, now it sounds as if you’re saying if he wants me in his bed then I damn well better get my ass in it.”

Gripping my chin, he speaks through gritted teeth. “That’s exactly right, Gia. You’ve put yourself into a precarious position by running your mouth. Telling business that was not yours to tell. And spare me the attitude of prudish concern for being taken by the man. We both know you want it, anyway.”

I shy away from him as I move further back up on the bed to get away from him. “Not like this,” I say. “Never like this. Not with your downfall being held over my head. I hate this. I never meant to get you in this position.”

“Everything has to be rethought,” he says as he steps back. “You may have ruined it all.”

A sudden pain shoots straight into my heart. “Damien! What do you mean?”

When he looks at me, it’s as if he’s looking right through me. “I mean, I can’t afford to step on his toes where you’re concerned. The thought of you being with him and me too, isn’t a thing I can take.”

“Damien, I can make this work. I can! Let me try. Don’t drop me.”

“I can’t drop you. I still need you. I just don’t want you sexually if he insists on having you that way.” He looks at me with disgust and it makes me mad but I hold my tongue.

“He’s not that kind of man. He’d never want me like that as he holds something over my head for it. You have nothing to fear. I’ll stand by our deal, Damien. I will.”

“I have a lot to think about and I need to tell Svetlana that we’re not going anywhere just yet. We’ll have to unpack and that will take a while. You stay here.” He walks out of the hotel room, leaving me with a mess in my head.

My phone is lying on the bed. I am now at Ryker’s beck and call, thanks to my mouth. And Damien’s constant security I’ve grown to rely on, seems to be skating on thin ice.

Now, what am I supposed to do?

RYKER

Feeling much better about things, I make the call to Johnny Flynn to give him the great news that even his daughter will be attending our meeting. “Ryker?” he answers the phone. “What did you come up with?”

“Johnny, I have great news, Gia is on board as a consultant with Apollo Engineering now. I’ve just received the signed contract back from her and we’re all set up to leave on my jet on Friday. We’ll be staying two nights with you and I will have seven in the party. Is that going to be too much on you?”

“No, not at all. And you said Gia has signed on with your company?” he asks, sounding surprised.

“She did,” I hold up the contract in my hand the messenger just returned to me. “Isn’t that great?”

“It’s surprising,” he says. “She’s never worked since she and Damien got together. I though he didn’t want her to.”

I’m sure he didn’t. “I managed to sweet talk him into letting her do it if she wanted to. It seems she wanted to work. She’s brilliant, you know.”

“She is. And it’s going to be good for her to work. She didn’t act like the same old Gia when we spent the weekend with her. Thank you for that, by the way.”

“I think all Gia needs is to use that brain of hers again and that girl you knew will be coming right back to the surface. She’s just buried her true self to morph into what she thinks Damien wants. But Damien can take her for who she really is or he can move on,” I say as I run my finger over her signature at the bottom of the contract.

“Move on?” her father asks. “Is that something that might happen with her taking this job? I don’t want to interfere with anything between them.”

“I didn’t mean it the way you took it. They’ll be fine,” I say but I’m pretty damn positive they won’t. And they shouldn’t be. Gia shouldn’t be a pawn in the man’s ploy to distract his family from what he’s done. “I’ll have a car bring us in from the airport. See you around five or so, I’ll call you when we hit the ground.”

“Great, bye.”

With the call ended and all my plans settled, I sit back in my chair and put my hands behind my head. Things may work out after all. Putting one’s mind to work and shoving emotions to one side really works much better than living on emotions alone.

GIA

Damien has left me alone most of the time in the last two days. His disappointment in me isn’t an easy thing to take. I find myself feeling like a child who has misbehaved when he has come to see me for shorts amount of time.

I asked him if he wanted to end it all and he told me he didn’t. He said he needed me and I am to still play the part of loving girlfriend, even though he doesn’t wish to touch me anymore.

Deep inside, I feel like I did what anyone would do, being put in that position. People need to vent, every once in a while. It’s been years since I’ve vented about my situation with him. When you add in that he’s been unfaithful the entire time and is using me as a cover, well, I had to vent!

But to tell Ryker was stupid. I could’ve talked to my sisters about it. I told Ryker for my own selfish reasons. And now my selfishness is going to bite me in the butt.

My cell rings and I see that it’s Ryker’s new assistant, Tony. Ryker, himself, hasn’t spoken to me. He’s let others do that for him. He’s keeping things very professional. I like it but then again, I don’t.

Before I can say a word when I answer the phone, Tony starts talking, “Miss Flynn, I hope you’re having a pleasant day. I’m calling to let you know a car is being sent to get you and take you to the airport where the company jet is waiting. You need not bring a thing. Like I told you on Wednesday, Apollo Engineering is providing everything. Your uniform has been tailored to the measurements you gave me. The other women have been asked to gather their hair into a neat bun. We do expect paparazzi at both airports as this is an open topic. You are to wait for the driver to bring up one of the uniforms to you, so you can wear it. You will be expected to wear the uniforms you are given for this entire, two-day meeting, excluding bedtimes, of course.”

“I understand, Tony. I’ll see you soon,” I say just before I get off the phone.

It feels odd talking to Tony instead of Ryker. I feel very much a part of the group but not a part of Ryker. I find I miss him. More than I should. The man is my boss now. I should put my feelings for him, away.

When my cell rings again, I look at it to find it’s Ryker and my heart jumps. I swipe the screen. “Ryker! Hi!”

“Hello, to you too, Miss Flynn.” His voice is deep and smooth as it falls on my ears that missed hearing it so much.

“Miss Flynn?” I ask as I look in the mirror to make sure my makeup still looks right.

“I like to keep everything very professional during company outings when the press is around. In private meetings, I’m more lax. So, Miss Flynn, you will call me, what?”

“Mr. Crawford. I get it, Ryker. Professional.” I find a smirk moving over my lips and try hard to stop it. It’s just so damn good to be talking to him!

“Great,” he says. “See you on the plane.”

Before I can say another word, I find he’s ended the call and a knock comes to my hotel room door. “Miss Flynn, I have your clothes,” a man’s voice calls out from the other side.

Going to the door, I open it and take the black garment bag. “Thank you. You can come in and take a seat while I change.”

The man nods and comes inside. I retreat to the bathroom to put on the clothes. In the privacy of the bathroom, I unzip the bag and pull out a skirt that looks to be knee length and pencil shaped. A military type of jacket is to be worn with it. The letter, A, is embossed on the silver buttons of the rust colored suit and the Apollo emblem is on the left side just above the pocket with my last name embroidered on it.

A small black bag is in the bottom of the bag and I pick it up and untie it to find a matching rust colored bra and panty set. Picking up my cell, I tap in a text to Ryker.

-I see you felt compelled to send me lingerie.-

He texts back right away.

-Not me, my assistant. Didn’t he tell you the company would be providing everything? That includes your underwear, Miss Flynn.-

My cheeks heat with embarrassment and I don’t text back as I feel like a fool. It seems he intends on treating me professionally. Like we never meant a thing to one another.

The thought has me feeling sad but as I get dressed and look in the mirror, I find a woman looking back at me that I haven’t seen in years. A real professional. The uniform makes me feel like part of a team. A team with a huge mission on its hands. A mission to get to Mars!

RYKER

Sitting at the back of the cabin, I watch Gia as she comes aboard. Her dark hair is slicked back into a tidy bun, just like the rest of the women I have on this team.

Tony hops up from his seat at the very front and quickly introduces her to everyone as he leads her back to sit across from me. She was the last to get here, meaning we’ll be leaving soon.

Looking at my tablet, I pretend not to notice her as she shakes everyone’s hands and greets them. I can see a rosiness to her cheeks that’s been missing. Her smile is confident and so is her grip.

It’s been such a short amount of time but I see something inside of her shining brightly. She’s in her element. For the first time in years, she’s where she belongs.

I offer her a curt nod as Tony says, “You’ll be sitting here, Miss Flynn. Once we’re in the air, drinks will be served. Do you have a preference?”

“Red wine,” she says then I cut my eyes at her.

“Try something different, Miss Flynn. Something you might have wanted to try for some time and just haven’t yet. Tony was a bartender while he went to college. I made sure we have a full bar on board for him to work with.”

Her eyes dart to mine, as she asks me, “Any suggestions?”

I look at Tony and nod. “Give her some ideas.”

“How does aged rum, ginger, and vanilla sound to you?” he asks her.

She smiles at him. “Very good.”

“Then I’ll bring you a drink called, Midnight Oil.” When she nods, he leaves us and goes back to his seat, just as the pilot comes over the speaker to let us know we’re taking off.

“It’s a pleasure to be working with you, Miss Flynn. I’m looking forward to it.”

She nods and smiles, shyly. “I look forward to working with you too, Mr. Crawford.”

We put on our seatbelts as we’ve been instructed to do and I find myself thinking about her and I, leaving on the first mission to Mars and how I wish she’d consider it. But I hold my tongue. I’m determined to treat her with respect and let her see how that feels. I know she’ll like it.

She seems calm as we start to taxi down the runway, so I ask her, “Are you okay with flying?”

“I am. Damien and I fly a lot.”

“Of course,” I say, forgetting about that.

With her looking the way she does, professional and part of my team, I seem to be forgetting that she’s with the man. And I’m kind of glad to see that happening.

I want to reach out and hold her hand but I push that urge down and close my eyes, doing what I do many times when we’re taking off, pretending it’s a rocket ship. Once we level off, I open my eyes and see her looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

“You like to think about going to Mars more than you like to think about anything else,” she says.

I nod. “That’s true.”

“And anything anyone can do to help you see that dream come true makes you pretty happy,” she says as she smiles at me.

“Very happy, Miss Flynn. Having you with your exquisite brain on my team is a Godsend.”

Pink fills her cheeks and she looks away. “I hope I don’t disappoint you.”

“You won’t.” I reach over and pat the back of her hand. “I know you won’t.”

A flash of anger moves through her eyes as she looks at me and whispers, “Is that because you have me over a barrel?”

I’m surprised by her actions and words and shake my head as I whisper back, “I don’t have you over anything. I asked you to join us in this endeavor because I need your expertise and I thought you’d like to be a part of something. Especially since it’s your family farm that will be included in this. If you thought I meant to use what I know if you didn’t accept my offer, you’re mistaken. I used that threat only to get to talk to you. I won’t be using it anymore.”

Her eyes go soft and she whispers, “I’m sorry I said that then. I had the wrong idea.”

“Most likely because it was planted there,” I say as I think about Damien and his influence over the poor woman. “I want you to know, I believe in you. That’s why I asked you to come work with us.”

She nods and looks down at her hands then smooths out her skirt and bites her lower lip. I know she wants to say more but she’s stopping herself. This isn’t the time or place to get into any of our personal business and she knows that.

Tony starts serving drinks and conversations start to pop up as everyone begins to loosen up and move around a bit. The young woman, sitting in front of me, turns to look at Gia. “Mr. Crawford told us about what you invented. I think that’s fantastic. I too am into the food sciences. Hence, my presence on this team. He also said it’s your family’s farm we’re going to be using. Do you, by chance, know what the soil samples have in them?”

Gia lights up as she begins to tell the other scientist about what kinds of things her father has used to increase nutrients in the soil that’s gone unused for three years. I sit back and enjoy how animated and excited she is about this and I know I did the right thing by using that threat when I did.

It may seem unethical but I don’t give a crap!

GIA

Sipping on some coffee after eating Mom’s homemade apple pie for desert, I find myself feeling more than I’ve felt in what seems like, forever. Sandra, Tabitha, and I have formed a special team, within the team, to research everything we can about corn and its use as a fuel.

Dad is talking to Ryker and some of the other men about the machines he uses to do what he does with the soil and the crops. While my mother and sisters take care of cleaning up after dinner. I offered to help but was quickly told by Ryker that I was here on his team and he expected me to work with his other scientists on this visit.

To the side, he told me he’d bring me back anytime I wanted, to make a normal visit with my family. I love that he did that. I’m a viable asset to the mission, is what he told me. It made me feel pretty damn special and I haven’t felt that way in a very long time.

“What if we infused nitrates into the seeds?” Tabitha asks as she writes things down on a tablet in front of her.

“It could be done,” I say as I lean forward and tap into my tablet and bring up a site that shows every part of the seed there is and just how others have engineered them before. “I think I can get us some time at the local co-op. I worked there one summer when I was in high school. The old men there have more knowledge than we’ll ever get out of the internet.”

The girls hold up their hands for high-fives and I give them what they’re looking for. Our attention goes to Ryker as he stands up and announces, “Bedtime, troops. We’ll get at it again at first light.”

Murmuring is all I hear as everyone gets up and heads to the bedrooms my mother doled out to us all. I got my old room, of course. Before I head out, I go to find myself a bottle of water to take up to my room and find Mom in the kitchen.

“Hey, Mom,” I say as I come in. “Thanks for doing all of this.”

She nods then I see her gesture behind me and find Ryker is there, which I didn’t know. “Apollo Engineering is paying us well to host this conference. No thanks are necessary.”

“You are?” I ask Ryker as he moves past me to get a bottle of water himself.

He reaches into the fridge and pulls two of them out, handing me one. “Apollo is,” he corrects me. “This is business, Miss Flynn.”

Mom laughs at him calling me that and she shakes her head as she leaves us alone in the kitchen. “Goodnight guys. I’m headed to bed.”

We both say our goodnights to her and I open my water and find Ryker looking at me as he takes a drink of his. “I think I like you calling me that,” I tell him as I turn to head up to bed.

“Good,” he says as he follows me. “You liked today, didn’t you?”

“I have to admit that I did. I liked it very much. I never said I didn’t like to work or use my head, Ryker.”

“You just didn’t do it,” he says as he moves up the stairs one step behind me. “I’d like to make sure you know that you have a place at my company, Gia. If, for some reason, you decided not to go back to Russia, I could advance you your first month’s salary. Our human resources department could help you find an apartment, there are several really nice complexes that give our workers discounts on the rent. And you would be issued a company car, as a traveling consultant.”

“That’s a lot to think about. But I will think about it, Ryker,” I tell him as I stop at my bedroom door. “This is me.”

He smiles as he looks at my old bedroom door. “Did they leave it just how it was?”

I nod. “Would you care to see how teen me lived?”

“Would I?” he chuckles as I push the door open, revealing lavender walls with pink accents.

“Don’t touch my collection of my little ponies, Ryker, they’re priceless to me,” I tell him as I laugh and we walk into my old bedroom.

“There’s a lot of fluffy pink material on that bed, Gia. One could get lost in there,” he says then goes to sit on the bed and looks surprised when he is enveloped in the goose feather mattress. “Whoa! You really could get lost in here.”

“The winter nights can get cold,” I explain about the mattress. “That helps you stay warm. And in the warmer months, it does the opposite, making the bed cooler.” I watch him as he tries to escape the thing and reach out to help him out of it. “One rolls out of this kind of bed.”

Once I have him up, we stand toe to toe and I find myself wanting to kiss him, so I back up and walk to where the suitcase is. “Are there even pajamas in here?” I ask him to help me think about other things.

“There are. Apollo PJ’s.” He comes up behind me as I find the top and pull it out.

“Rust colored again and little planets all over it. Sweet,” I say as I hold it up to me. “And it’ll fit too.”

“Just like everything else. We run a pretty tight ship. How do you like everyone?” he asks me and I find a grin taking over my mouth.

“I really like everyone. I’m going to miss them when I have to leave.” I toss the top on my old dresser and find the bottoms that are black. “Why black?”

“To represent space,” he says as he takes them out of my hands and places them on the dresser too, then I freeze as he pulls me into his arms. “Gia, I want nothing more than to treat you like I do everyone else but I’m finding that impossible, now that we’re all alone.”

My heart pumps and bumps and sputters as he holds me close then rests his forehead on mine. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”

“It was,” he says then lets me out of his arms. “I shouldn’t have come in here. I wouldn’t do that with any of the others. Goodnight, Miss Flynn. I will see you bright and early. Put on your sleeping cap and in the morning trade it out for your thinking cap. We have much work to accomplish.”

I wave as he leaves me. “Night, Mr. Crawford.” He smiles at me just before he closes the door behind him and I find my body aching for him while my mind is forming a new kind of respect for the man.

As I strip out of my Apollo uniform and put on my Apollo pajamas, I can’t stop humming with happiness. It’s fantastic to know Ryker still wants me. Even after our horrible fight and all we said to each other, he still likes me and the man respects me now. A thing I know he didn’t before.

But then again, I’m not so sure I respected myself the way I should’ve. Climbing into my old bed, I feel at home. My eyes close without a problem and I find sleep is close by and I feel better, more secure, and happier than I have been. Since I made a life with Damien, that is.

RYKER

“I don’t know what any of you guys think but that damn rooster is an idiot and he’s mentally living in another time zone, it seems. He went off way before dawn,” I say as I sit down at the breakfast table.

Gia laughs then says, “That kind of sound is what you will most likely wake up to in the mornings on Mars, you know.” She moves around behind me, placing a cup of piping hot coffee in front of me. Her breast barely grazes my shoulder as she does and it sends heat all through me.

I want to grab her and pull her onto my lap and give her a good morning kiss but the uniform she has on reminds me of why she’s here and I give her a nod, instead. “Thanks for the coffee, Miss Flynn.”

“You are welcome, sir. My mother said to tell you all the eggs are nearly done then breakfast will be served,” she takes the seat next to mine and I can smell her clean, fresh scent wafting into my nostrils and making me have a hard time thinking.

“Miss Flynn, since you grew up here, do you know how to drive any of those big machines we saw in that barn out back?” one of the men asks her.

She smiles and nods. “I can probably get my father to show you how to drive them if you guys want.”

A couple of the younger guys nod enthusiastically and I look back to see Gia grinning like crazy. Again, I am reminded just how in her element she is with all of this.

As her sisters come in, bringing platters of food with them, I watch Gia as she starts to get up to help. I touch her arm as I say, “You’re with us.”

She nods and looks down and smooths out the skirt of her uniform. “I keep forgetting.”

“You’ll get used to it,” I tell her and then I realize my hand is still on her thigh and I move it.

And I have to get used to treating her with the same respect I treat everyone else who works for me in a professional sense. Nancy gives me a pat on the back after she places the platter she carried, on the table. “Morning, Ryker. How’d you sleep?”

“Like a baby, Nancy,” I say and find Gia gasping. I turn to look at her. “What’s that for?”

“It’s just that you knew that one was Nancy. Not many people can tell my twin sisters apart,” she says as she looks a little stunned.

“I’m not most people,” I remind her.

She nods and Nancy says, “Damien has never been able to tell us apart.”

With a nod, I get her reaction now and am not surprised to hear that at all. Leaning over I whisper, “Has he called you?”

Shaking her head, she whispers, “I told him not to while I’d be working. He distracts me.”

“That he does,” I agree. “Smart of you, Miss Flynn.”

“I thought so,” she says then she ventures further as she looks around the long table at the other members of the team. “How do you all put your relationships out of your mind to do your work?”

“I don’t have one,” one of the younger guys says as he laughs. “That’s my secret.”

“I don’t put mine out of my mind,” Tabitha says as she looks at Tony who is sitting across the table from her. She gives him a wink. “But while we’re working, I treat him like the coworker he is.”

Tony smiles at her and winks back. “Vice-versa.”

“I had no idea about you two,” Gia says and I find her eyes going to me. Then she looks away.

I caught that look. The one that says, maybe that could be us someday. And I think it could be if she’d ditch the man who’s keeping her for his own selfish reasons.

“There are quite a few couples in our industry who are in working relationships with their better halves. They all maintain professionalism while at work,” Sandra tells Gia.

“I see that now,” Gia says.

Nancy chimes in, “Gia’s boyfriend doesn’t think that way. He’s kept her cooped up.”

Gia blushes and looks angrily at the table in front of her, I’m sure she’s furious at her sister for revealing too much about her personal situation. But Sandra saves her by saying, “Well, she’s out of the coop now. Miss Flynn is going nowhere near that coop anymore, we won’t let her.”

Gia’s blush disappears as she realizes her coworkers like her and like working with her. A smile moves over her face as she says, “You guys are great. I have no want to go back to the coop. And I won’t be.”

My heart does a bit of a dance as I wonder what that really means. Is she done with him?

Everyone begins to make their plates, passing around the platters but all I can think about it what Gia is talking about. If she’s dumping him, I’m going to throw a party!

“So, are we going to that co-op after breakfast?” Sandra asks Gia.

“If you want to, we can,” she says then turns to look at me. “I’m sorry, unless you have other things you want us to do, Mr. Crawford.”

“No, that’ll be fine. Find your niche and explore it. That’s what we’re here to do. Figure out things then go back into the office on Monday and share our ideas and how we can put them all into action,” I say then take a bite of bacon.

“Monday?” she asks and I nod. “I’ll just make sure the other women have my notes. I have to leave for Russia on Monday morning.”

I nearly choke on the bacon as I thought she just said she wouldn’t be cooped up anymore. She pats me on the back as I cough then she picks up my juice glass and hands it to me. “You should drink this.”

Taking the glass from her, I take a sip to calm myself. “That bacon went down the wrong way.”

She smiles, clueless as to why I had the choking fit. “You should chew more,” she says then turns her attention back to her plate.

I’m not sure how to ask her without sounding whiny. With her, I can’t always trust my voice to come out with authority the way I can with everyone else. So, I keep my question to myself, for now.

With breakfast finished, we all go our separate ways but not before I tell everyone to meet right back at this table for lunch at noon to discuss what we’ve accomplished.

As we all walk toward the front door, I find Gia walking next to me at the back of the pack and place my hand on her arm. “Can we talk sometime today? Alone?”

She looks at me with a bit of worry in her expression. “You sure that’s a good idea?”

“Not really,” I say. “But I need to talk to you.”

“After lunch?” she asks me.

I nod and we get out the door, parting ways as she and two of the women go with her on their fact-finding mission. I follow her father with the rest of the team to check out the soil.

Her head is held high, her confident demeanor is radiant, and she is still going to leave this all behind her and go back to Russia with the man who took this all away from her in the first place.

The thought goes flitting through my head that I could easily stop that. She told me she thought I was going to tell the media what I know about Damien’s son to have a power over her. Which I know I could do.

But should I do that to get her to make the right decisions? Or would that make me just as bad as Damien is?

“Ryker,” her father calls out to me. “Come here, son. You’re the only man I trust with something this precious of mine.”

He’s talking about one of his many tractors but his words bring back into my mind that Gia is also a thing he holds precious to him and I decide to let her make her own choices without my interference.

If this is meant to be then Gia will come to her senses and decide to stay. Maybe I need to commend her more to make her see just how essential she really is to us.

Maybe I need to let her know that she has me in more ways than one.

GIA

The day was so full and busy that Ryker and I never had a free moment to talk about whatever it was he wanted to talk about. And even though I know this is most likely going to test my self-discipline, I’m heading to his bedroom to see if he still wants to talk to me.

With a quick tap on his door, I whisper, “Ryker?”

The door opens and he’s standing there in just his PJ bottoms, looking sexy as hell and I turn around to leave. If I stay, I’ll throw myself into his arms! His hand on my shoulder stops me. “What did you want?”

“Um, uh,” My train of thought went right out the window as my libido took over. “Never mind.”

Gently, he pulls me into his room and closes the door. “Gia, what is it?”

“Could you put your shirt on? You’re very distracting,” I say then close my eyes, so I can’t see him anymore as heat courses through my entire body, settling in the intimate area, I’d like to see him be a part of.

He chuckles with a deep sound and moves away from me. “There, you can open your eyes now.”

I sigh as I feel both relief and sadness at the same time as I see he’s put the pajama top on. “Thank you. I’m trying hard to make changes in myself. I don’t want sex to rule me, where you’re concerned.”

“We haven’t had sex,” he reminds me.

“Yeah, I know that. It’s just,” I stop and shake my head. “Let’s talk about something else. What did you want to talk to me about, this morning at breakfast? We never had time to talk.”

He takes my hand and pulls me along with him then sits on the bed and I have to sit next to him. “I’m feeling concerned about you. You seem to be very happy doing this with us, yet you plan on going back to Russia. I told you all the company would do for you and you want to leave, anyway. I know you have your deal with Damien. Here’s the thing. He can’t make you go with him. You have options, where he’s concerned. You can keep your deal with him about his money and you can make appearances in Russia to do that, while still working with us.”

“He’d never go for that,” I say as I know he won’t.

“He would if I told him to. I think you know that,” he says as he takes my chin in his hand. “But I would only play that card if you wanted me to. I’d much rather you take the option of letting him and his money go. You see, your family will have financial security with this project. If we can make fuel out of what your family grows, they will make a ton of money. And so will you. My scientists are some of the top paid people in this industry. Gia, you are qualified to get that huge pay too.”

“His son,” I say and know he doesn’t care about that at all.

“I get it. I do,” he says. “But he really isn’t your concern.”

I nod and know he’s not my concern. “Ryker, you might think I’m crazy but I’m afraid. I’m afraid things might not work out in this industry.”

“Things will work out in this industry. That aside, Gia, there are no promises in any world. There are always gambles. It’s the people who work hard and can accommodate themselves in any situation, who have fruitful lives. And I want you to know that I have more to offer you than just a career. I want you to know that you have me too. If you want me, that is. If you want time alone, I can give you that too.”

“I have you?”

He nods. “You hold my heart in your hands, Gia. I’ll walk through fire for you.”

“You would?” I ask as I’ve never known a man who’d do or say that. As he nods and moves in close, I recall that he’s leaving when he can and I put my finger up to his lips. “But you will leave me.”

He sighs and stops trying to kiss me. “We can see what the future holds. I want to go to Mars and you don’t. But what about our time here? What about we take this time and see what happens?”

“I’ll tell you what will happen. I will never want to leave and you will. End of story. And when you go, there is every chance your company will begin to decline and all who work for it will go broke. Now, I’m not saying I might not change my mind someday about Damien and his money. As a matter of fact, he and I have had a parting of the sexual ways and there may be more parting to come.”

He stops me with his finger on my lips as he asks, “You two aren’t having sex anymore?”

“Thanks to you,” I say and give him a smile. “And I’d like to say, thanks, to you for that. I haven’t wanted him at all since I found out he cheated on me this whole time. But he was adamant that we would continue with our physical relationship too. Once you threatened him, his tune changed quick and in a hurry.”

“What does he think?” he asks me. “I mean, what does he really think?”

“He thinks you’re holding his secret over him. He told me I was to make nice with you and do anything you say to.” I watch him go pale and he moves to the floor on his knees and takes my hands.

“Gia, I never want you to think you ever have to do a thing with or for me. I really only meant that threat to get him to let me talk to you. I’d never threaten you with a thing. I swear that to you.”

Taking one of my hands out of his, I run it through his hair. “I know that now. I didn’t ever think you’d do such a thing. I know you’re a better man than that. But you know Damien isn’t a man to be argued with. He told me that he knew you’d want me to have sex with you and he told me I had to do it if you asked for it. Then he said he couldn’t touch me if he knew you did, so he wouldn’t be touching me anymore. Which is great with me.”

“Let him go, Gia,” Ryker says with a tremble to his voice. “Please. I don’t care if you want me or not. Just let that man go. I can’t imagine anyone telling a person they care for to have sex with anyone, to save their own ass.”

“And I am seriously considering it. But I must go back to Russia this time around. I have to see how things are. I have to do this for me. For my sanity.”

“Are you, at the very least, telling me you won’t be having sex with him?” he asks me as he stays on his knees.

“If you don’t mind it,” I say. “I’m thinking I’m going to tell him that we did have sex, just so he’ll stay with that idea of not touching me.”

He laughs and says, “That’s cool with me. Just so you know, though. You and I aren’t going to be doing a thing unless you and he are over.”

“You know something, Ryker, I thought you were just being controlling at first. But I can see now that you’re deep. You’re so deep that you’re not looking to do a thing except help me be me again. And for that, I have tremendous respect for you. So much respect that I’d never want to be with you without ending things with Damien first.”

His eyes close and he lets out a breath as he takes my hands and holds them to his heart. “You have no idea how good that is to hear, Gia.” When his eyes open I can see how glassy they are and it makes my insides melt.

“You do love me, don’t you?” I ask him as I can nearly see the love that glows around him.

“I do,” he says with a nod. “And I’ve never known this kind of love before. Gia, everything I’ve done lately, is for you. There’s not a thing I’ve done without you at the forefront of my mind. That’s how come I know that something will work out for us in the long run. I have not one fear about that.”

“My only real fear is that you will try your best to bend and shape me into doing and being what it is you want,” I tell him, finally being honest with myself.

He looks down as if contemplating what I’ve said. When he looks back up at me, he says, “You may well be right.”

Biting my lip, I know I’m right. “So, you see, there’s not a hell of a lot different between the two of you.”

“No, you’re wrong,” he says as his grip on my hands grows tighter. “You see, I will never force you and I will always keep watch over you. If I think you’re caving to me, I will stop what I’m doing. I want you to do whatever it is you want in this life. But I want us to spend at least a piece of this lifetime we have, together.”

“That’s almost like a proposal, Ryker. A very sweet and honest proposal and I wish like hell I had my shit together already. But I don’t.”

He nods and lets my hands go then gets up and stands in front of me. “So, I will be waiting for you until you come to me or tell me not to wait anymore. In the meantime, I will keep you to your contract with Apollo Engineering. I get you for a week out of each month. So, you go on back to Russia if you want to but I will see that gorgeous face at least once a month.”

With a smile, I get up and make my way to the door. “If I was completely out of this thing with Damien right now, I’d be all over your ass, Ryker. You’re caring ways have me flowing hot.”

“Then you better hurry your hot ass out of here and lock your door because it’s taking everything I have to hold myself back from throwing you over my shoulder and taking you to the bed and showing you just what you mean to me.”

I giggle but when I turn back around to look at him, I can see that lustful look in his eyes and the laughter stops. “Oh, you’re for real!”

“I’m for real. Run, baby,” he growls and starts moving toward me.

Part of me wants to run right into his arms but the part of me with what’s left of any morals that are trying to come back to the surface, turns and I go out the door, run to my bedroom and lock the door behind me.

Falling back on the closed and locked door, I laugh then hear a thud on the door behind me and the door knob wiggles. “Damn!” I hear him say.

Resting my head on the door, I want to open it more than I’ve wanted anything. “Goodnight,” I whisper.

Then I know he’s still there as he whispers back, “Goodnight, Gia. Can I hear you tell me the words?”

“I love you, Ryker.”

“Yes,” he hisses. “And I love you, Gia. With my whole heart and soul, I love you. Make the right decisions, baby. Make the right ones with me in mind, please.” Then his steps can be heard, walking away and I walk to my bed.

Sleep might come or it might evade me but one thing is certain, I have to make some drastic changes to my life. For my sanity and Ryker’s, my mind has to be made up and that has to happen sooner rather than later.

Part 6 - The Departure

GIA

Stepping off one jet to get right back onto another, I look over my shoulder to find Ryker wearing a frown on his handsome face. Looking forward, I see Damien has stepped out onto the stairs to look for me.

Sandra and Tabitha come up on either side of me, Sandra whispers “You hurry back to us, Gia. We really need you.”

Tabitha pats me on the back. “You’re the major brain in our trio, Gia. Please do hurry back to us.”

“Gia,” Damien shouts as he waves at me. “Come, we need to be on our way.”

“I’ll try,” I tell them as I quicken my steps to get to Damien.

“Gia!” comes a shout from Ryker as he hurries to get to me. I jerk my head in Damien’s direction to see what he thinks about this and find him frowning. “I need to tell you one more thing before you leave us.”

I stop and wait for Ryker to get to me and find him taking my hands in his and looking at me with more than a bit of fear in his dark eyes. “Ryker, you know this is going to get me into trouble with Damien.”

“Good,” he says then grins. “Gia, I want you to be confident. I’m not going to ever use the information I know about Damien’s son. Don’t let that affect your decisions. No matter what Damien thinks, I’m not that kind of person.”

“That’s great to hear, Ryker. For the record, I knew you weren’t.”

“Gia, promise me you’ll come back soon.” He looks into my eyes and I see the worry in them.

“I’m going to see about things. I’m not making you any promises. The only one I will make you, is that I will be returning next month as the contract states I will.”

He nods but my words have done nothing to comfort him. “Don’t let him treat you like shit.”

“I won’t.”

“You say that but you’ve always allowed it,” he says then pulls me very close to him. So close, I’m afraid he’s going to kiss me.

“Ryker,” I say but it does no good.

His hands let mine go as they move up my arms. I should step back but I stay right where I am. My body tingles with his touch and when he takes my face between his hands, I melt into him.

Our lips touch and a fire rips through me. I’m kissing Ryker Crawford in front of his employees and Damien!

The way his thumbs rub my jaw has my lips parting for him and he comes right on in, like an old friend. Our kiss is long and speaks to me just as clearly as any of his words could possibly do to make me see what he feels for me.

I can hardly breathe when he ends the kiss with light pecks. “I love you, Gia. I don’t care who knows that. Come back. Whether you come back to me or not, just come back.”

I can’t talk as I look into those sad, dark eyes of his. I nod and turn away from him. Tears blur my vision as I walk to Damien’s jet. I wipe them away as I walk up the stairs and find him still waiting at the top of them.

“That was going too far, Gia,” Damien hisses at me. His hand closes around my upper arm then he jerks me inside the plane.

I see Svetlana and Friedrich sitting in the back as Damien manhandles me to a seat in the front. He, not so gently, pushes me down to sit and I look up at him. “You need to stop with the physical shit, Damien.”

Leaning over, he whispers in my ear, “You and I will be going into the bedroom as soon as this plane is in the sky and you will learn who you belong to, Gia.”

My stomach knots then it quickly goes away. “No, we won’t. I don’t belong to anyone. Not anyone, Damien. I’m going back with you for my own reasons. None of them have to do with you.”

“Do you really expect me to give you what I leave here, if you don’t do what I ask of you?” he asks me as he takes the seat across the tiny aisle from me and belts himself in as the plane is readying for takeoff.

“I’m not going to talk to you about that right now.” I close my eyes and lie my head back to rest as the captain speaks in Russian over the speaker system.

“You seem confidant,” he says then makes a huffing noise. “Let’s see how long that lasts. I will be reminding you of what I have to give you.”

“Yes, the palatial estate in Russia. The mountains of money.”

“The jewels, the cars, the purses, and shoes. The designer clothing, the fancy creams and lotions. All those things you now have are really mine, Gia. You came to me with the clothes on your back, which are long gone now. I promise you, you will not leave with any more than you came with.”

I open my eyes and level them on his. “I bet I will.”

His right eye twitches a bit. “He has turned you completely against me, hasn’t he?”

“You have done that on your own.” I lie back and close my eyes again in an attempt to keep my relaxed composure.

My stomach is doing a dizzying dance of knotting up then relaxing as my body goes between full on panic and trying to keep control of my emotions. I will not go back to the weak woman I have been these last three years. But it’s an internal battle that’s going on inside of me.

“We will talk, you and I,” he says as the plane starts to take off.

“Yes, we will,” I agree. “I will talk.”

“Your head is held high now,” he says under his breath. “But how it will soon fall.”

My heart clenches as I fear what he’s going to do but then it eases as I tell myself, he can’t do anything to hurt me. He only has the power I give him and I am no longer going to give him any.

I can hear poor Friedrich crying as we make our ascension into the sky. His cries stir my soul and I feel terrible about him and what he came into. But he carries the genetics that make up Damien too. I’m sure, as he grows up, he will have that same strength the whole family of Markov’s possess. And I remind myself, he is not my burden to bear.

My family is not my burden to bear. I have but one and that is myself, for now, anyway. One day, there may come more people into my life that I hold dear enough to make sacrifices for. These people are not them.

Spending time with the team has taught me loads about life. I was hellbent on taking what Damien offered me and making sure my life as well as my family’s was stable, secure, and one of great wealth.

I spent the weekend with people who are striving to make it possible to leave this planet, with all of its material things, to go to a place with nothing. Sandra was talking about doing a camp out once and thinking it was hard and she’d never want to do more than a couple of days of living like that. But she wants to go Mars, where living will be a hundred times harder than camping anywhere on this planet is.

I suppose that’s where I’m at right now. I thought I couldn’t do without the money Damien would be leaving me. I thought my family could never make it without that security. But I’m about to leave that security blowing in the wind as I take off to another place. A place of uncertainty and hard work.

There’s never been a time that I felt so close to the brink of disaster and I love it in this place. There will be no wobbling back and forth, where Damien and his money are concerned. I’m set on the path I have planned out for myself.

Two men will not be happy about what I’ve chosen to do but I will have to learn how to deal with men who are unhappy with my decisions.

RYKER

It’s been two weeks since Gia left with Damien to go back to Russia. And she’s not contacted me even once. I’ve given her space and left her alone but my heart is aching to hear her voice, so I’m calling her on the pretense of work. While the work day is over, being it’s six in the evening here, it’s just beginning in Russia, where it’s eight in the morning.

“Gia Flynn’s assistant, can I take a message?” a young woman asks me as she answers Gia’s cell.

“Uh,” I stammer as I have no idea what the hell is happening or who this is. “This is Ryker Crawford.”

“Oh, yes. Mr. Crawford, Miss Flynn has a consulting contract with your company, Apollo Engineering. What may I do for you today, sir?”

“Can I speak with her?”

“She’s in court today. That’s why I have her cell. I’m not sure when she’ll be out. I will leave her a message to call you. Is this an important matter that needs immediate attention, sir?”

“No, not really. She can call me back whenever she gets time. Where is she?”

“I’m not at liberty to give out that information,” she says with quipped words. “Will there be anything else, Mr. Crawford?”

“Is she in the states or Russia?” I tap my finger on the desk, as not knowing is making me crazy.

“That is not my information to divulge.”

I turn on my charisma and charm to see if I can get more information out of this tight-lipped woman. “You sound pretty. Mind me asking where I might find you? It’s nearly lunch and I’ve yet to find a lunch date. Maybe you…”

“Sir, I am well aware of your relationship with my employer. If you would refrain from speaking to me in a flirtatious manner, that would be appreciated. Also, I am quite smart and am completely aware that you are seeking information about my whereabouts so you can obtain Miss Flynn’s. She will be given this message when she gets out of court. Good day, sir.”