Winter by Michelle Love (13)

“Even if I never go back, which I’m not, I made promises about never letting another man touch me in places, and I plan on keeping them.”

“My God, you’re precious,” he says as he holds me tighter and moves his hand from my chin to my head, pushing it against his broad chest. “Are you to never love again? Do you think he would even want that?”

I know dang good and well he’d want that! But am I being a fool?

I pull my head back to look at Logan, to really look at him. His eyes are kind and his face is chiseled in some areas while soft in others. He’s nice to look at, though nowhere near as gorgeous as Max. Never has anyone other than Max been as nice as he is to me. “Would it be so bad to never love again? When I saw that picture, it tore me apart inside. I’m naïve I admit, but not a fool. If I allow myself to fall again, that kind of pain will happen at some time.”

Logan finally releases me, but keeps my hand in his. “Let’s open this wine and talk about life and love and all that goes with that. You know now I want you. I don’t just want to have sex with you, I want the whole package. Since I’m such a good friend to your brother and your whole family really, I don’t want to actually have sex with you until we’re married.”

Okay, what is up with sexy men wanting to marry me or knock me up?

“So you want to marry me?” I ask as he pours us some wine.

I pull my hand from his so I can go stir the sauce. He’s at my back with his arms around me again, leaning his face on my shoulder. “It’s not how I wanted to ask you, but yeah, I want you to be my wife, Alex.”

“How long have you thought about this?”

“The last two weeks I’ve thought of nothing else. You’re a great homemaker and cook and your laugh makes my heart beat so much harder than I ever knew it could.”

My mind flows like a river with what to do. I still love Max. I know I can never truly have him though. But why do I know that? He wanted me too. He probably would’ve asked me to marry him. But he’s too good for me. So what am I supposed to do, be alone forever? Is it wrong to keep a promise if it hurts you to do it? Is it really hurting me to keep the promise. It’s hard to tell, because so much hurts right now anyway.

I turn in Logan’s arms to face him. “I need more time, Logan.”

“I’ll take that. It’s not a no anyway.”

“It’s also not a yes, so keep that in mind. Keep in mind a lot of things have happened very fast for me. After so many years of being ignored this is all a little crazy. Truth be told, because I want you to know the truth, I love Max.”

“Then why don’t you go back to him?”

“I don’t know why. I just feel like he can do better and he deserves better.” I stop and realize I’m telling a lie. “No, those things aren’t why. The real reason why is because I feel so much for him it petrifies me. He has the ability to break my soul apart with one picture. No one should have that much power over anybody.”

Logan loosens his arms and moves back. “That’s exactly what love is, Alex. Maybe you should go back to him.”

“I can’t do that. I can’t live like that, waiting for my world to fall apart if something ever happened to him.”

Tears fall down my cheeks as I turn back to stir the sauce. The epiphany that I’m afraid to live a life full of love only because it can be taken from me has me numb inside.

As I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand, Logan kisses the top of my head. “Call the guy, sweetie.” He places his cell phone on the counter next to me and leaves me alone.

I stare at the phone. I have his number burned into my brain, so I can’t use I don’t remember it as an excuse. After I grab a paper towel and blow my nose, I push the buttons that will bring Max back into my life.

Max

Black water is all I see around me. My chopper is gone, luckily I managed to get out before it sank with me in it. The moon’s light is all I have to look at and that’s moving through the sky way too fast for me. I know there will be at least two hours with no light at all.

Somehow I’m sober as a judge after a month of being inebriated. I thought I wanted to let it all go. Several times I thought if death came for me I’d go willingly, for what is left for me?

I tread water as I have no idea of which way I will find land. I just have to wait and hope the current doesn’t take me too far away from where my chopper went down. The Coast Guard can find that with their tracking devices. Surely once Hilda sees the chopper gone, she’ll try to call me and see I’ve left my phone in that bedroom.

Shit! She didn’t know I was in there!

I’ve been hiding from the staff so they wouldn’t realize I turned into a drunk. She may not even look in there. What in the hell have I done to my life?

I was given a chance out of Hell once before and I managed to go right back there on my very own. How did I allow that to happen?

Lexi is beautiful and funny. We connect like no one else, but I can’t let her crazy ways stop me from being who I am, who I’m supposed to be. Hell, if she had come back and found me like that, she’d have run off again.

If I get out of this, I’m going to be happy on my own. If she comes back into my life, we’ll have a great marriage and some good-looking kids to share our lives with. If she doesn’t, that’s okay too. I’m going to stop looking for a wife. If there is someone other than Lexi out there for me, then she can find my ass.

I wish I would have made a will and left everything to her. Now I don’t know who will get all my money and things if I … Damn it! I have to stop thinking like that.

Okay, when I make it back, I’m going to make a will and put Lexi down as my heir. No matter what. I want her to have things. She’s so easy to please, I could leave her a box of handkerchiefs and she’d be happy. Such a sweet, innocent, young woman. Such a good mother she’ll make. I bet she’ll still look sexy as hell when she’s pregnant or holding a baby on her hip. Man, I’d sure like to see that. It would be even better if it was my babies.

Something just moved between my legs and it was not at all appreciated.

Shit! Something is coming right at me! Shit! Shit!

Alexis

The phone rang until it went to voicemail and I left a message asking him to call me back on that number, but he never did. I left a text, but he ignored that too. I know that man always has his phone on him.

He’s done with me.

He told me it would kill him if I left him and I guess it killed what he felt for me. After waiting the entire night and all day today, I think it has sunk in that he is not going to give me anymore chances to break his heart. I went too far for too long this time and he can’t take anymore, that’s obvious.

Logan is being so nice to me. He should be home any minute now and I’m going to give him what he wants. It was stupid to think I can live a life with no love or companionship. Logan’s a good man, and already like a part of our family. Why wouldn’t I give him a shot since Max doesn’t want me anymore?

His car pulls into the driveway. I can see it from the window as I sit on the sofa and try to wrap my head around the reality Max no longer wants me. The wine isn’t helping, maybe Logan can.

“Hey sweet thing,” he says as he comes in the door. “How was your day?”

I rise and take him the glass of wine I’d poured for him in anticipation of his arrival and how I plan on letting him know I’m ready to move on. “My day was thankfully uneventful. How was yours?”

I slip the glass in his hand as I take the keys from him and toss them into the little basket I put on a small table by the door just for that purpose. “Mine was good.” He takes my hand and leads me to sit with him on the sofa. “Come and tell me how the talk went.”

“He didn’t answer me. I know I broke his heart, and he’s done with me.”

“I’m sorry, pumpkin.”

“Don’t be,” I say as I lean into him. “I’m done with that. It’s the past and you’re right here. A good looking, charming, well off man who seems to like me. Do you know I had a crush on you when I was ten and you were nineteen?”

A smile creeps across his lips, which are a very light red and pleasingly plump. “We’re even then, because I have a crush on you now.”

“I don’t want to marry you just yet, Logan, but I don’t want that to stop us from seeing if we have what it takes to get along for the long haul.” I move my body up his and stay close enough he can kiss me if he wants to.

His hand tightens around mine. “So your past is out of the way and you’re ready to move forward with me?”

“I am.”

He bites at his bottom lip as he looks at mine. I wait for my heart to start pounding, but it doesn’t. The electric current never starts, but his lips touch mine, and it’s not so bad. They’re soft on mine as he pulls me closer to him, pulling me onto his lap where he cradles my body as his tongue pushes through my lips and into my mouth. He tastes like chocolate, but there’s no fireworks.

Will it ever be like that again?Max

The sun is finally coming up. Some monster fish, most likely a shark tormented me for quite some time last night. I managed to punch it a couple of times and it went away.

No land can I see and the idea of being able to continue to tread water until someone finds me is falling apart. So with the rising sun, I know where the East is, and that means I must swim away from the rising sun. Hopefully I will find something. I’d settle for a floating trash island at this point. Anything to get me out of this damn salty-ass water.

I’ve come up with my motivation for making it out of this mess alive and intact. I’m going to go to all the big networks and all the social media to get help to find Lexi. I mean what’s the use of having mountains of money if you can’t use it to buy some help.

No more thinking she doesn’t love me because I damn well know she does. She’s just a little crazy and time will fix that. I should think I might have to keep her locked away in a bedroom with me. I’ll make love to her until she can no longer walk so she can’t run away again, but it’ll be worth it, in more ways than one.

Something is floating on top of the water a little ways in front of me. I have to swim pretty fast as it keeps moving away. Finally I have it, a small piece of some kids broken knee board. I hope this means I’m closer to shore than it looks like I am. Finally I can just hang on to this and let my legs and arms rest.

Thank you God!

It isn’t even noon, and the sun is beating down on me. I’m naturally tan but I can feel my back burning. Maybe I should just give up, maybe the next life will be better. I have to get out of this funk so I yell, “Lexi, I’m coming for you!”

There, now my head is right again and I can keep on swimming. There we go, now that’s stuck in my brain I’ll get somewhere. And it seems like God is smiling on me because a cloud covered the sun and I am relieved of that if only for a moment. Have to be happy with the little things.

A drop of cool water hits my hot shoulder and I find myself thankful even more until I look up.

That’s one of the biggest thunderheads I’ve ever seen!

Maybe it only looks so huge because I’m in the middle of the ocean, maybe that’s why. Lightning strikes and it begins to pour. Oh, joy! Now the waves are getting bigger, and that should be some real fun I bet.

“God, please don’t kill me. Whatever I’ve done to offend you, I promise I will rectify it.”

I look behind me and wish I hadn’t. A giant wave is about to barrel down on me. At least I have my little broken knee board.

Alexis

“Take me to your bed, Logan,” I say as he holds me on his lap. His kiss is just not doing enough. Maybe if we have our clothes off that will help me to feel a little bit excited. I mean, there needs to be some excitement when two people are going to be married and doing this a lot.

If the spark isn’t there, then why waste the time, right? My V-card has been cashed in anyway, why not?

“Alex, that’s not really how I wanted to go about this,” he says, but he’s getting up and carrying me back to his bedroom, so I guess he’s finding himself alright with the idea. “I’m doing this for you, baby.”

I giggle and lay my head against his chest. “Thanks, you’re a doll.”

As he lays me down on his bed his eyes go dark and I see desire glimmering in them. I smile and he takes off my shirt, then runs his hand over my bra. “Take your shirt off,” I say and he does. His chest is wide and a small amount of hair grows over it, going all the way down to the top of his slacks. “You work out?” He has a small six pack and some very nice lines.

He nods and undoes the clasp on my bra which is in the front. Now my breasts are bare and he looks at them for what I deem a little too long before he puts his hand on one and his mouth on the other. And I find that I’m still waiting for the awe factor.

I run my hands through his hair, trying to spur myself on. The smell is nice, a clean musky scent which I find appealing. Still no electricity though.

His lips run up my neck in little kisses and it tickles a little. I find myself giggling and he raises up and smiles at me before he crashes down on me, kissing me hard and I find my breath taken away a little. His hand runs in between my legs and up my inner thigh then right onto my woman parts and he rubs at it over my shorts.

Now my heart is pumping harder!

He stops and stands up, dropping his slacks and kicking off his shoes. In one quick motion he pulls my shorts and panties off and I’m naked. As he climbs onto the bed I notice his little white socks still on. “Are you going to leave those on?”

With a husky laugh, he falls on top of me and says, “Don’t worry they won’t affect my performance, baby.”

His body moves down mine and I see the direction he’s going, making me remember Max. I close my eyes and try not to think about him. “You do have a condom, right?”

“I’ll put one on right before, I promise. Now lie back and let daddy give you some attention, babygirl.”

Nope that didn’t sound freaky at all coming from a guy I used to think of as a brother figure!

“You know, maybe…” I say but shut the heck up when his tongue touches something down there that makes my toes curl and starts an ache in my belly for him. “Oh, dang it, Logan. Oh, that’s, Oh, Logan, that’s some smancy tongue work you got goin’ on there. I, uh…”

He stops and looks at me. “Honestly, I’m going to need you to be quiet because your choice of words is distracting me and I want to laugh. Laughing doesn’t really go with what I’m attempting to do right this second.”

I smile and nod and he gets back to work. I close my eyes and grip the blanket as he takes me away from thinking about anything other than how fantastic this feels.

Heat fills my body as I burst and he climbs up me so fast I’m still pulsing inside as he fills me with his perfectly normal sized man part. But it’s still a good one, and he moves it the right way, I guess. He looks down at me as he pumps away and then puts his lips on mine and I almost pass out because he forces his tongue through my lips. I realize that I’m tasting myself and that’s pretty gross.

He pulls his head back and smiles like he’s done something great. “That’s you, baby.”

With a fake smile I say, “Yum.”

“Mmm,” he moans. “You taste so good, baby.” I didn’t think so, but if he’s happy, that’s good, I guess. “Wanna try something?”

I look at him with big eyes. “I am trying something, I thought.”

His laugh makes his whole body shake all over me and it feels weird. “I’m going to flip you over.”

“Flip me over what?” I ask in horror.

“Over what!” he says with another round of laughter. “You’re such an innocent. I’m going to put you on your knees and take you from behind, silly girl.”

Now is that a thing to say and end with, ‘silly girl’? I think not!

As he flips me over and drags me up on my knees, I ask, “You’re not talking about my bum hole now are you? Because no sir-re-bob is that anything I want to try, ever!”

“Trust me, baby. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

“That wasn’t the answer I was looking for,” I say and find him sliding into the right hole and breathe a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”

He bangs away back there and I feel a lot of burning pain in my crotch area, but it goes numb after a minute so that’s better. I get tired of holding myself up, so I lean down on my elbows, and I guess that’s sexy or something cause he moans and says, “Yeah, baby, you like it. You want it deeper?”

“Umm hmm,” I say but don’t have a clue what he means.

He starts to make some weird noises, and it’s at that moment I realize what he’s about to do, and I never saw a condom go on. “Stop, you didn’t put on a condom!”

At that moment he pulls out and some hot, thick stuff flows over my back. “Damn, I’m sorry, baby,” he says as he jumps off the bed and runs to the bathroom.

I stay completely still, my booty still up in the air and think this wasn’t anywhere near as good as my first experience. A piece of my hair falls down my side from my back and it’s coated in a white oozy substance. The sound of footsteps coming back into the room make me look up to see Logan using a white towel to clean himself before he tosses it on my back. “Let me get that off you, sweetie.”

“The shower, Logan,” I say. “I need to take a shower.”

His face looms in front of me and he smiles. “What a great idea, Alex. You’re so free with me already. See how great this is going to be?”

With a weak smile, I get up and walk to the bathroom and notice he’s following me. I turn the water on as he leans against the sink, looking me up and down. I step into the shower and find him right on my heels. “What are you going to do in here?”

My back is pushed against the wet wall as he pulls me up in his arms and makes me wrap my legs around him, then his semi-hard manhood mashes into me with a squishing sound. “You like that, baby?” he asks and I nod. “Bet you never thought it could be this good, did you?”

I smile to stop myself from frowning like I’d like to, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings. “Nope, I never thought it would be like this, that’s true.”

“You think you can cum for me, baby girl?” he asks, and again I’m finding the things he asks ending with, ‘baby girl’ very off.

“I did that already, while you kissed my, well, you know, that, oh gosh how can I put it…”

He interrupts me. “While I ate you out?”

My face goes red and I realize how ludicrous that is as he rams into my womanly parts while my back is against the wall and my legs are wrapped around him. Of course, he would say such a vulgar thing at this exact time. He doesn’t normally talk like that, but I suppose now is the time to talk that way so I give it a shot myself, “Yes, while you licked and sucked my uh, my, uh…”

“Pussy?” he asks.

“Yeah that thing.” No, I’m just no good at this.

“Say the word, Alex,” Logan says as he lifts me up away from him then places me on my feet and makes a motion with his finger for me to turn around, which for some odd reason I do and he puts his hand on my back making me bend over and I find him pushing into my woman area again. “So go ahead and say the word, Alex.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Hey, see if you can grab your ankles, you’re a pretty flexible girl.”

I walk my hands from my knees down my legs and find myself gripping my ankles as he bounces around behind me. “I don’t want to say that word, Logan,” I say, but find it a little hard to talk in this position.

“Most girls can’t grab their ankles. You’re a natural for this, babygirl,” he says and then makes another grunt, reminding me that yet again he has no condom on.

“Hey, don’t do anything inside me, please. You forgot the condom again.”

“You sure are hung up on that damn thing,” he says. “I’m going to marry you, you know. There’s no reason to be worried.”

Then why am I definitely very worried?

I stand up and Logan steps back. “Whoa, that’s moving a little fast, there buster,” I say, and he looks at me like I’m crazy.

“A little warning is polite, baby,” he says. “I know you don’t know that, but it is. Also, letting me finish is polite too.”

I turn around for some unknown reason and grab my ankles again and he resumes his bouncing away at my backside. I seriously don’t see what the fun of this position is. I can’t breathe very well and the blood is going to my head and if I look through my legs I can see his jingle bells bouncing everywhere and well it’s just a very unflattering position for us both, I think.

After a grunt and a groan he steps back and I see some more white goop flow between my feet and down the drain.

Bye-bye, what might have been a little baby. I’m not ready for you yet!

Still holding my ankles for reasons unknown, I then feel a slap on my bottom. “Hey, silly, you can stand up now.”

“Oh!” I stand up and rub my back which feels a bit out of sorts. “What kind of shampoo do you have in here?”

His hands rub together and suds form. He runs them through my hair. “I’ll wash it for you, come here.”

As his hands massage my scalp it makes me moan. “Mmm, that feels so good.”

With a chuckle, he says, “Now that’s the moan I was looking for a few minutes ago.”

No fireworks, no electric currents, no needing him to stay with me forever, why? Why does one man do so much for me and another doesn’t? Why can’t I feel that spark with Logan?

I turn in his arms and look him in the eyes. I will make the spark happen if it kills me. This man is perfect for me and by the ding dang holy man above us, I will get a fire going in my body for him. “Logan, do you really want to marry me?”

He smiles and nods as his hands gently push my head back to rinse the shampoo from my hair. “I love you, Alex. I would’ve told you that before I made love to you, but you rushed that a little. I want to marry you and have children with you. Maybe we can even get a dog.”

“The perfect family,” I whisper and think of Max and how that’s all he wanted too, and I ran from him.

As we snuggle on his bed and watch television, we eat the pizza he ordered and drank beer. One of his T-shirts I had put on as he lounges in his boxers. Not the tight kind the baggy ones.

Logan has a great body, and he’s adorable. The sweetest man on Earth and he wants me to be his wife.

Tell me why that isn’t enough for me!

I make up my mind. I am done with this crazy, ‘what if stuff’ I have going on in my head. This is a great guy and I ain’t getting any younger. So I just bust out and say, “Let’s get pregnant.”

Logan laughs and looks at me like I’m looney tunes. “Um, okay,” he says. “Is that what you want me to say? Because I thought you understood what it was I was talking about a while ago. I want to marry you and have babies with you.”

“No, I know. I’m just letting you know that I’m on board with that and stuff.”

His eyebrows raise and he says, “I thought you being in here, in my bed meant you were on board with that already, Alex.”

Maybe this is wrong, maybe we don’t communicate well. I haven’t even told him I love him.

Do I love him?

“Logan, I think I might love you,” I say and lay my head on his leg as he sits up on the bed.

“Sweetie, I’m sure you do,” he says with a shake of his head. “Those fucking bitches that did that shit to you really fucked up your head, baby girl.”

My heart clenches with the reminder. Am I really messed up? Is that why I have such a hard time with feeling more for Logan than I do? Is that why I ran from Max?

Logan’s arm runs around me and he gently kisses my cheek. “Don’t worry, Alex, I’ll never let anything happen to you. You’re safe with me, forever, babygirl.”

I turn my face up to his and push all that stuff to the very back of my mind. Max, the girls who beat the hell out of me and the way I’ve kept myself at a distance from everyone. “I love you, Logan.”

His hazel eyes shimmer as he says, “I love you too, and we will be happy. No worries.”

I lick my lips and take the beer bottle he holds out of his hand and place it on the nightstand. “Make love to me, please.”

With a flick of his finger, the television goes off and he scoots down into the bed with me. “I want to cum inside you,” he says and I give him the nod of approval.

“I want to have your babies, Logan,” I say as I feel warmth welling up in me. “I want to take care of you and be your wife.”

My panties he rips away, then rips the shirt off me, throwing them to the floor. I grab at his boxers, but I can’t rip them, so he pulls them off and positions himself over me. A long, hard kiss, making me dizzy, then he says, “Get ready to get pregnant, babygirl.”

How can I get him to stop saying that? It’s so inappropriate!

Max

Somehow I made it through the storm and it’s safe to say I feel ready to leave this world. After being tossed and turned from the bottom to the top of the Gulf of Mexico, I can say with no hesitation that I hate this planet and am ready to get off it.

If Lexi is the one for me, she’ll see me on the other side, or in another life sometime. I can’t hold on any longer. No planes or helicopters have come to look for me. This is the most alone I’ve ever been, and I’ve been alone a lot in my life.

I have to wonder, why me? What did I do so wrong? Why did this have to happen to me?

Oh, yeah my good buddy, Jack, that’s why.

What a mother fucker that damn guy is!

In the next life he’s out, definitely out. But Lexi can be there if she wants. Not my mother. Oh, that was horrible, never her again. Maybe where ever Lexi is right now she’s thinking of me.

That would be nice if she was thinking about me when I move on out of this world. She’s probably somewhere doing something silly like cleaning cat boxes for a living, or catfish noodling. If I had the strength I’d laugh, but that’s all gone now.

Think of me, Lexi. Please never forget me. I loved you more than you will ever know.

Alexis

The lights are all off, only a candle makes a dim glow across the room from us. Logan climbs up my body like a jaguar. His eyes are intense and his muscles bulge as he grabs my neck and pulls my mouth to his. His kiss is hard and insistent. My mouth opens, inviting him in, and he moves in with such force that I find it captivating. Not electric, but not as dull as before.

Am I really going to do this?

Gently he touches my breast and the difference between the hard kiss and gentle touch is captivating. A push of his knee makes my legs part and his very hard male member is knocking at my woman parts, wanting in. I arch slightly and he moves into me and for some dag nabbed reason, Max’s name just ran through my head.

No! I’m not going to let that stop me!

My hands fly up to tangle in Logan’s hair, but it’s too short, so I do this smoothing motion and it just doesn’t do it for me. Logan moves in and out in smooth strides, than stops and goes really fast, knocking the air from my lungs for a moment.

This all started out really exciting, and it’s taken a derailment somewhere along the way. I guess I’ll get used to the way that he does this and will come to find it exciting. It’s not bad or anything, there’s just no fire. After a few more thrusts, his body hardens and I feel warmth fill me, then he collapses on me.

It’s over. I may get pregnant from this one encounter and it was so forgettable that I just might cry.

Why do I have to be so afraid of loving Max?

Logan rolls off me and lies on his back. “That was great, baby.”

I roll away from him and wipe the tear that’s gotten away. “Yeah, sure was.”

He takes the remote and turns on the television. I haven’t watched T.V. in a week. The news is on and I close my eyes because I hate to watch the news. It’s mostly about bad stuff and I hate hearing about it. “I’m going to sleep. Good night, Logan.”

“Nite, Alex, I love you.”

I blink a few times then decide to add, “I love you, too.”

I kinda love him. It’s not a complete lie.

He is a great guy. You can’t discount how good he is to me. So there’s no spark, so what?

The sound of the anchorman’s deep voice is soothing me to sleep. “In other news tonight, the search for billionaire, Max Lane, has ended. Three days ago his helicopter crashed in the Gulf of Mexico.”

I sit up and stare at the television. The anchorman continues, “Search efforts have been called off and Max Lane is presumed dead.”

I turn to Logan. “Did I hear that right?”

His eyes are huge and he nods. I turn back to the television to see a picture if my gorgeous Max as the anchorman says, “He was just thirty years old, unmarried and left behind no children.”

Tossing the blanket off me I run to the bathroom where I promptly throw my guts up. Then the sobs hit me and rack my body. Logan has picked me up and carried me to the bed. He holds me on his lap and rocks me back and forth as I cry hysterically. “I loved him, Logan.”

“I know you did, sweetie,” he says as he runs his hand over my head. “He loved you too.”

“I’ll never see him again. He’s gone forever and I hate myself.”

“Shh,” he says as he hugs me tight to him. “Don’t do that now. I’m sure he’d hate it if you got down on yourself.”

I wrap my arms around Logan’s neck and bury my face in his chest as I cry and see Max’s beautiful face in my mind, that’s the only place I’ll ever see him again is in my memories.

The crying eases up and I find myself so lucky to have a man as sensitive as Logan is. “Thank you for understanding, Logan. You’re a good man.”

A tissue he pulls from a box on the nightstand and pats my cheeks with it. “Believe me, it fills me with jealousy to see how much that man affects you. You love him though and I can’t help feeling empathy for you. I’m sorry this happened, Alex. It’s not fair.”

I shake my head. “No, it’s not. I hope he’s in a better place, and finally really happy, like he was on the days we were together. We could have had so many more of those days if I hadn’t been so stupid. I know this much, I’ll never do that to you. I won’t run away from you because I’m too afraid to love you.”

Finally, we lay down and I rest my head on Logan’s chest. His heart beats fill my ear, and it makes me realize Max’s heart no longer beats, air no longer flows from his lungs and he can no longer think of me.

I will miss him forever.

Part 4 Secrets of Love

Max

The sun’s light shimmers on the water’s surface. Somehow I made it through another night in the water. My little broken knee board has proved to be a miraculous floatation device. Though I have no hope of making it out of this alive, it’s keeping me from going as quickly as I thought I would.

As I lie my head on the knee board and let my body dangle I know it must be getting near my time to go because I hear a humming sound.

Perhaps it’s angels coming to take me.

My eyes still closed as I have no energy to open them, I think I hear voices. The water stirs near me and something bumps into me as people shout in some language I don’t understand.

I’m being pulled from the water, still my eyelids won’t open. Some man says something in what sounds like it might be French, but I don’t know what he says. A towel is wrapped around me and I’m laid on a hard surface as the boat speeds through the water and the people all talk excitedly. I assume it’s about me and my present condition.

The sweetest voice comes close to my ear and says with a thick French accent, “My name is Kate and I will make sure you are taken care of.” A hand runs softly over my cheek which is badly sunburned. “You will be alright, my prince.”

Her voice is like that of an angel and I fight to open my eyes. Though blurry I can see a halo of red, with a pale face in the middle seems to be looking at me. “Hi,” I croak.

“Mama,” the angel says. “Water quickly, he’s awake.”

The angel looks back at me and I can focus a little better. “Kate?” I ask.

“No, no, my prince,” she says. “You must rest, no talking for now.” Someone hands her a bottle of water and she pours some on a white cloth and puts it to my mouth. I suck it greedily from the cloth and she pulls it back. “No, not so fast, you will get sick. Easy with it.”

The cool water she pours more of on the cloth and gently touches it to my face. It feels so damn good, I close my eyes again.

I’m not sure if I’m being rescued and will live, or if this is my ride to Heaven.

Alexis

Heat hits me like a brick wall as I walk back into my old apartment in Houston. I’ve run again, this time from Logan. He should be home any minute and he’ll find I’m gone. I’ve not bought myself another cell phone so he can’t call me and try to talk me into going back. My only fear is I might be pregnant, but if that occurs I’ll deal with that.

The knowledge that Max is dead is messing my head up more than I ever imagined it could be messed up. I can’t eat or sleep or think. I really screwed up and wonder if his death had anything to do with me.

The obvious thing to do is go and see Hilda and see if she knew what was going on with him, but I can’t face the mansion again without him in it. I’ll just have to never know, never understand why this happened. Whether it was over me or not, Max is gone and I’ll never see him again. The thought of that has me going insane. To never lay my eyes on his beautiful face again is way too much for me to bear.

I flip on the air conditioner and curl up in a ball on my bed. Though unable to sleep, I’m also unable to sit up and the ride here was unbearable. I passed the park where I ran into Max the last time and cried all the rest of the way home.

I never imagined I had so many tears in me. Maybe in a few days I’ll be able to get up and maybe I’ll go back to dog walking. Maybe I’ll just lie here until I feel better, though I can’t imagine that is ever going to happen.Max

My angel has gotten into the ambulance with me and directs them on how to handle me. “Gently, please. He’s been through so much,” she says.

If I had the energy to smile I would. She’s so sweet and has talked to me in her little, sweet voice the whole way to the shore. A woman who I guess is her mother says something to her in French and she answers, “Ya, Mama, I am going to ride with him to the hospital. Come there as soon as you can.”

She’s coming with me? She doesn’t even know me and I must look horrible and this sweet girl is coming with me?

The paramedics place me on something hard and her small hand holds mine until they put me in the back of the ambulance. The absence of her touch makes me sad, but then I hear her voice again. “I am here, my prince. You stay with me, please.”

She is here and I can’t help thinking everything is going to be alright.

I get hooked up to some things and I feel a pinch on the top of one of my hands. Warmth spreads through me and amazingly I am feeling much better. Someone leans in close to me and asks, “Can you tell me your name, sir?”

It takes every ounce of what little strength I have to say, “Max Lane.”

“Max Lane? The Max Lane?” he asks.

I manage a nod and the man says, “Call it in, we found him.”

They have been looking. I thought no one cared. I thought no one was looking for me.

A wet cloth touches my face and the paramedic says, “We have to get you looking a little more presentable, Mr. Lane. There is sure to be media at the hospital. We’ve all been looking for you for days. Is there anyone special you’d like us to inform of your recovery before it goes public?”

I shake my head weakly and find I can easily open my eyes and finally I see the face of the angel I’ve been hearing. She’s gorgeous. Long, red hair hangs around a porcelain face with huge green eyes and pink lips. My eyes roam down to as far as they can while strapped to this thing, and there they are, long legs.

Yes!

I hope she’s not taken. I smile a little at her and wonder what she thinks of me. She looks at me and smiles back. “You will be better soon, my prince.”

Her prince, how sweet. I had a princess once, and she ran from me. Maybe this one won’t. “Kate, right?” I ask.

She nods and winks at me. “And you are Max. It’s nice to meet you.”

Yeah, my name sounds good coming off her lips. “You’ll stay with me, right, Kate?”

“I will,” she says. “Until you tell me to go. I will watch over you until you are cared for properly.”

“That’s nice of you,” I say.

“I was sent to you, Max.” Her eyes go a little glassy. “This morning I awoke with an urgent need to go for a ride on our yacht. Daddy did not want to go, but I insisted. So you see I was sent to find you, and I will stay with you until you no longer wish me to.”

“You’re my angel,” I say and close my eyes, because the knowledge she is watching over me leaves me relieved and I can finally rest peacefully.

The ambulance pulls to a stop, and the paramedic says, “There are already a lot of reporters here, Mr. Lane. Don’t attempt to speak or they’ll never quit asking you questions and we need to get you into the emergency room. Okay?”

I nod and they move me out. My angel stays with me, walking close by my head. She leans in close and says, “Do not be afraid, Max. I will be by your side the whole time.”

I gaze at her in awe until a flash from a camera blinds me momentarily. There are reporters everywhere and the paramedics push through them as they shout questions at me. I don’t answer any like I was instructed to and my angel keeps her eyes locked on mine until we get inside. “You are doing well, Max,” she says.

It occurs to me this whole thing may have been a blessing in disguise. Lexi doesn’t want me, so why care anymore. Maybe this is my real soulmate, stranger things have been known to happen.

Alexis

My eyes open, I must’ve fallen asleep. The room is pitch black and I grab the television remote off the night stand and turn the television on for some light. I blink and grab my glasses off the table as well. Putting them on I see the news is on and take the remote to change the channel.

“News broke earlier this evening on the rescue of Max Lane,” the anchorman says and I sit up not believing what I’m hearing. A picture of Max gazing at some red headed woman fills the screen. “Max Lane has been found alive and is in an undisclosed hospital in Florida. Doctors have issued a statement telling us he’s in stable condition and no permanent damage was done. He should be home by next week, Houston.”

The anchorwoman next to him says, “I wonder who the mystery beauty is he’s looking at so lovingly?”

“So do I,” I mumble to myself.

My body feels numb with a weird emotional whiplash. Max is alive! I move like lightning to find my computer and try to find out what hospital he’s in. Then it occurs to me that Hilda may be a better source than that. He had to have informed her.

I grab my keys and head out to the mansion. My heart is beating like a drum in my chest and I find I’m giddy.

Max is alive!

Who was that woman? I can’t help thinking about how he was looking at her. But after days in the ocean, he had to be happy to see anyone. Right?

Before I know it I’ve made it to the gate and I push the button. Hilda answers, “Hello?”

“Hilda, it’s me, Lexi, can I come talk to you?”

The gates open and I drive in. I park and rush to the door, where she’s already waiting. “He’s alive!” I shout.

She holds her arms out to me and we hug and cry. “He is!” she says. “Miho is alive!”

She takes my hand and pulls me inside. “He’ll be home in a few days, he told me earlier.”

I follow her into the kitchen where she sits me on a barstool. She pours us both a glass of Champagne and we clank our long stemmed glasses. “To Max’s speedy recovery,” I say.

We each take a drink and then I see a frown on her face. “I should tell you something.”

“What?” I ask as I place my glass on the bar.

“Max is bringing a woman home with him,” she says and my world falls apart again.

I sit in stunned silence. He’s alive, but he’s already found another woman. “Do you know who she is?”

Hilda takes another drink. “She is the one who recused him. Her family is from France and she made them take the yacht out this morning. She felt compelled to go out and when they found Max she saw it as her duty to stay with him and make sure he’s taken care of.”

“But he’s bringing her back here?” I pick up my glass and chug it.

Hilda refills it as she says, “He calls her his angel and I dare say I heard love in his voice, dear.”

“Who wouldn’t immediately fall in love with a beautiful woman who saved their lives, right?” She shrugs and I take another drink then say, “The important thing is that he’s alive and will be well soon.” I look at her. “Right? That’s the most important thing?”

With a nod she says, “Your leaving him again turned him into a dark person, you should know that.” The stool next to mine she takes. “So many cases of Jack Daniels he drank. He thought he hid it from us well, but he didn’t. The night he took the helicopter I ran out to the pad as soon as I heard it, to try to stop him.”

“So he was drunk?” I ask.

“Yes, very drunk. He took off before I could reach him. I called his cell phone to try to get him to come back, but he never answered it. Then he never came home, and I called the police.”

“My leaving had everything to do with that then,” I say as I gaze at the bubbles in my drink. “I was right.”

“Don’t blame yourself, sweetheart,” Hilda says as she pats my back. “He didn’t have to take it so damn hard.”

“But he did.” I look at her. “Did he date at all after I left?” Her head shakes and my heart breaks into a thousand pieces as I realize he didn’t go right out and find himself another woman to play with in his bed like I thought he would.

“I am sorry you ran from him. He’s a good man, Lexi. This woman who saved him, he may be bringing her home, but if you showed up, I bet he would fall right back in love with you.”

“I almost killed him, Hilda. I don’t think I’m good for him,” I say as it hits me that I am not the right one for him.

He has the ability to tear me in half with one photo and I have the ability to kill him, our relationship is not a healthy one. I smile at Hilda and get up. She looks at me with a sad expression. “You will come see him when he gets home, won’t you?” she asks.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” I walk away and turn back. “I do want you to let him know I cared enough to come here and if it wouldn’t hurt us both so much I would come visit him.”

Tears cloud my vision as I walk out of the mansion, leaving it behind me for the third time. The ride back to my apartment seems to take forever and as I pull into my parking spot I notice Logan’s car and he’s sitting behind the steering wheel.

Max

Finally, I’m on my way home. I hired a private jet to take Kate and her mother and father back to Houston with me. My angel sits next to me, holding my hand in hers. She’s twenty-three and her family is beyond rich. Her father has more money than I do.

This girl is sweet though. Not like those other rich bitches. Though young, she has more class than any of the others, and she looks at me like she adores me. Already she adores me and eagerly answered yes when I asked her and her family to join me at my place for a week.

They’re on an extended vacation. She’s already asked me to go back to France with them to visit their home, which I have said yes to. That seems to be all we say to each other is yes.

The jet is landing and my heart is pounding. I never thought I’d see my home again. In about an hour I’ll be back and I may kiss the front door I longed to see again.

A car waits for us on the tarmac so I don’t have to see any reporters. My face was plastered all over the papers and I’m sure my ex’s have all seen my angel and how I was staring at her. The last thing I need is for any of them to know I’m home and make life miserable for us.

Except Lexi, she’d never do that. I wonder how she took the news about me.

Kate’s family takes pictures out the window as we drive home and seem excited about seeing Texas. I’m going to take them to check out all which is cool about this state. I had Hilda get us tickets to a Dallas Mavericks game in two days. I bet they’ll flip over the tall players.

My gate comes into view and I am home. I smile at Kate and she squeezes my hand. “My prince is home again. I am so happy for you,” she says.

I tweak her tiny nose and smile. “Thank you for saving me, angel.”

As we pull up I see Hilda waiting, and now she’s jumping up and down and running out to me.

She seems to be happy I made it!

Alexis

Logan talked me into coming back to Dallas with him. He made me give up my apartment so I have nowhere to run to anymore. He said if I have an escape I’ll use it and it’s self-destructive.

Now that I realize how bad Max and I are for each other I can really move on and make things work with Logan. He’s a great guy and any girl would be lucky to have him.

To be sure I wasn’t pregnant I took one of those early pregnancy tests and it came back negative. I told Logan I’m really not ready to rush into getting pregnant after all. It was dumb of me to do that in the first place. While we haven’t had sex again, we have slept in the same bed.

I feel really fragile with all the Max stuff and think I need to give myself a lot more time to make decisions about anything. Logan just got home and I meet him at the door with a glass of iced tea. He hands me his keys, I drop them in the basket and hand him his drink then kiss his cheek. It’s a nice little ritual we have.

“How was your day?” he asks me.

“Fine, and yours,” I ask. Another little ritual of ours.

“Fine,” he answers. “What’s for dinner?”

“I made roasted chicken and potatoes,” I say and make my way to the kitchen to see how it’s coming as he sits down to watch the evening news.

I can barely hear the television as I pull the chicken out of the oven. A man’s voice says, “Billionaire, Max Lane, has made it home to Houston. In tow was the woman who found him and her parents. Seems like Mr. Lane found him an angel through his ordeal. How can one man be so lucky?”

I peek around the corner to glimpse a picture someone snapped of them getting into a black limo. Max’s arm is tight around the red-head as they both smile like crazy people.

I left him! I ran from him! And I almost made him die!

I turn back to stab a fork into the potatoes to see if they’re done. Logan’s cell phone rings. “Hello,” he says. “Um, okay. Hang on a sec.”

Logan comes into the kitchen and holds the phone out to me. “It’s for me?” I ask. “Is it Mom?”

With a shake of his head, he says, “It’s Max.”

My heart stops and my knees give out. I sit down at the table and hyperventilate. Logan touches my shoulder and I look at him. “What should I do?”

“Talk to him, Alex. What do you think?”

He places the phone in my shaking hand and I say, “Max?”

“Hi, Lexi,” his voice is soft and sweet and makes me melt in an instant.

“Hi,” I say as tears fill my eyes. “I’m glad to see you made it. I was devastated when I thought you were…” I stop, I can’t say the word.

“Yeah, I figured you’d be,” he says. “I found my cell and saw you’d called the same night I took off in the chopper. Weird huh?”

“Yeah, weird.” My heart is in my throat and I’m having the hardest time even thinking.

“Hilda told me you came over the night I was found. Thanks for doing that, Lex, it was nice of you,” he says then he clears his throat. “Who’s the guy who answered the phone?”

“You noticed that, did you?” I ask with a smile.

“I did,” he says. “So you’ve really moved on then?”

I hesitate because while it seems like I have I’m just not all the way sure. “I think it is best we both do. I saw a picture of you and that demonic lady and it hurt me so bad.” I pause. “Then you fell into a drunken stupor and nearly killed yourself over me.”

“So you think we’re bad for each other?” he asks.

My heart pounds and my mouth goes dry. It seems like he’s giving me the chance to try it out with him again. He has that woman there, but still he asks me this. “Yeah, Max, I think we have the ability to hurt each other to a degree that’s unhealthy.”

“If I asked you to come back, would you?” he asks, and now I know he would dump that chic for me and it makes me think I might be crazy for turning away from him again.

“Don’t you care for that girl?” I ask.

“Well, yeah, but I need to be sure you and I don’t have a shot in Hell before I take that step. I haven’t yet, if that makes any difference to you, Lexi. I haven’t kissed her or asked her to be with me or anything like that.”

“What if I told you I have been with this guy, Logan is his name by the way, like that, Max?” I say. “I mean I promised you I’d never let anyone else have me like you did and I didn’t keep that promise. Does that change how you feel?”

Moments of silence go by before he says, “I can’t say I’m not hurt, because I am. It took you twenty-six years to let someone that close to you. I thought what we had was special, and you ran off and jumped into bed with another man. Why’d you do that, Lex?”

“After I saw the picture of you doing to that girl what you had just done to me I felt used. I felt like what we had just done was ugly and you did it with that whack job so it wasn’t special to you at all,” I say then feel terrible for telling him that. “Was I really special to you, Max?”

“I’m sorry you saw that. I wish I had never done that. Truth be told I wish I had never laid my hands on another woman before you. When I made love to you it was like the first time. It’s never been that special, I promise you.”

“Thank you, that makes me feel somewhat better,” I say. “But you never answered my question, does that change how you feel about me?”

“No, I can live with that,” he says and my heart wants to say that I will go back to him, but my mind says we have too much power over each other’s lives to do that. “That’s nice to hear, it really is. We just have too much power to hurt one another, Max, so my answer is no. Move forward with that girl. She’s not a crazy whacko who’s mean is she?”

“No, she’s really sweet. I’m sure you’d like her,” he says. “Lexi, are you sure about your answer?”

A pain fills my heart and if this much pain can come from a conversation over the phone then what other kinds of pain can he put me through?

“I’m sure, Max,” I should go now. “I’m really happy you’re alive and well. If this is the girl for you I wish you both all the best.”

“Good luck with your guy, too, Lexi. I wish you all the best too.” He pauses then says, “Hey, just so you know. I was going to put out a search for your ass. I’m not just calling because I found your missed call or Hilda said you came over. I was going to find you no matter what and see if you wanted to give this thing a shot again.”

Wow! Am I insane?

I glance back to see if Logan is anywhere near me, but thankfully he’s giving me privacy, he’s a doll like that. “Max, that’s good to hear, and if we weren’t so dangerous for each other I’d say yes in a heartbeat, but we are. I still love you though, so don’t ever think I don’t.”

“I love you too, Lexi. Are you sure about this?” he asks again.

“You’re trying to wear me down aren’t you?” I ask with a giggle.

“Maybe,” he says. “It’s damn good to hear your voice. Do me a favor and stammer something for me, I miss that. Or maybe you could say some of those funny words for me, you know something like smancy?”

I laugh and say, “Um.. I .. don’t.. know.. Something like that, you silly goose?”

“It’s pretty close,” he says. “Hey, I have to know because it’s something I thought a lot about when I was drifting in the ocean. What kind of crazy job do you have now?”

Suddenly I realize I don’t really have one, but I say, “I clean houses.”

“So you’re not a professional catfish noodler? Man I got that one wrong,” he says with a laugh.

“What in the cornbread heck is that, Max?” I ask.

“Cornbread heck? Good one, Lexi.” He laughs. “Man I miss you, girl!”

I miss him too and how much fun we had. I find myself peeking back over my shoulder to be sure Logan is nowhere around. “Maybe we could still be friends. You know just talk to each other every now and again.”

His laugh dies down. “That sounds nice, but I think it would drive me mad. I really love you.”

He really loves me!

“Me too,” I say. “I suppose it would be too hard. But I’m going to get a new cell phone and I’ll send you a text so you’ll have my new number. After what happened to you, I always want you to be able to contact me if you want to. If you do find yourself wanting to talk to someone about anything; the accident, your mother, life when you were young, I want you to feel free to call me.”

“Good, do that,” he says. “Also, don’t hesitate to ask me for anything, I mean anything. I don’t ever want you to go without a thing. Promise me.”

I’ll never ask him for a thing but I say, “Okay, I promise, Mr. Generous pants.”

He laughs again, “Ah, you remembered. So I guess I’ll look forward to your text and wish you a good life, Lexi.”

“Okay, you have one too. Bye now,” I say and end the call.

I search out Logan and find him outside sitting by the pool tugging on a beer. “How’d that go, Alex?”

“Good,” I say and hand him back his phone. “I’m going to get my own phone tomorrow. After what happened to him, I want him to have my number. He may need someone to talk to now and again about his ordeal, you know?”

“And you would do that for him?” he asks with a frown.

“Yeah, it’s my fault it happened, so yeah I would talk to him if he needed to,” I say and sit on Logan’s lap and wrap my arms around his neck. “He doesn’t have anyone else he talks to, not really.”

“Did he ask you to get back together with him?” he asks and I sense jealousy in him.

I nod. “Yeah, but I told him no. We’re just too dangerous for each other, it is better this way. Just friends.”

“Did you tell him about me?” He takes a long drink of his beer.

“I did, and he wished us the best of luck.” I kiss his cheek.

“I see,” he says. “So is dinner ready, cause I’m starving?”

I smile and jump off his lap. “Come on, I’ll get you fed then we can watch a movie in bed.”

Suddenly I feel very frisky for some odd reason. “What else can we do while we’re in bed?” he asks as he grabs me by my waist.

“Well, I bought you some really cool condoms today, so there’s no telling really,” I tell him as I giggle.

He rolls his eyes. “Condoms, ugh!”

“Don’t ugh me,” I chastise him. “You want a piece of this action, you’ll wear one from the beginning until the end, mister.”

Logan picks me up and carries me inside. “Hey, tomorrow don’t make dinner. My boss gave me tickets to the Maverick’s game tomorrow night. So I’m taking you out, Miss Alex.”

“Wow!” I say. “A real date, finally.”

We laugh and I find I feel light-hearted for the first time in a long time. I wonder why just hearing Max’s voice has done that for me.

Am I stupid for not going back to Max?

Max

The room is dark and I am totally relaxed for the first time in what seems like an eternity. I talked to Lexi and we have closure.

Man it feels good!

I asked her to come back to me and she turned me down, but I kinda thought she would, so I’m not devastated by her answer. The point she made was that we’re dangerous for one another, and maybe she’s right. I did go on a month long drunk that landed me in the Gulf of Mexico for days on end after all, and nearly died.

Perhaps I overreacted, but it found me the little angel who sleeps down the hall. Though no spark happens when we touch I find her adorable and she is the sweetest thing. Maybe the spark thing is too much, just like Lexi said. The ability to hurt each other like that is a lot to handle after all.

We’re jetting off to Dallas tomorrow, the four of us. I’ll move much slower with this one. There’s no rush. No reason to think she’s going to run off if I take my time and get to know her. She is young, maybe too young, and I’m not sure how innocent she is, but she seems like she is. I’d hate to hurt her after all she’s done for me.

That French accent is adorable. But the truth is I don’t find her sexy, just cute, and adorable. Is sexy something you need to think about for a girlfriend?

I think I’ll Google that and see what the masses have to say on the subject.

Alexis

The noise the fans make at this basketball game is nuts. I lean close to Logan and scream in his ear, “I gotta pee!”

He gives me a nod and grabs a twenty dollar bill from his pocket and yells back at me, “Get us a couple more beers, will ya?”

I nod and take the money and make my way out of bleachers and to the restroom. Shoving the money in my pocket as I weave through the way too loud crowd. Three beers we’ve drunk and I’m about to burst.

I get into the restroom and glory to the highest there is one stall unoccupied. The relief I feel as I let all that beer back out is phenomenal. I wash my hands, run my fingers through my hair and apply a little pink lipstick. I can’t do my make-up like Cake did, but I’m figuring it out. And curling my hair wasn’t that hard to figure out so I am managing to look a lot better than my nerdy days.

With a slight skip, I leave the women’s restroom to go to the long line at the beer stand to refill my bladder with the golden liquid. I look down as I leave the area to fiddle with the cellphone in my back pocket, making sure I didn’t drop it in the toilet.

Boom! I ran into someone!

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking,” I hear and look up to find I’m smack up against Max’s broad chest. “Lexi?”

“Max!” I shout.

His arms run around me and he pulls me to the side and my back hits the wall. His lips are on mine before I know what’s happening, but I love it and feel as if I’m flying.

I throw my arms around him and groan as his tongue finds mine. It’s not enough, I’m not close enough, so I wrap my legs around his waist and he melts into me. He’s rock hard against me and I’m aching for him. His hand goes to my breast and my hands tangle in his hair.

A man’s voice comes out of nowhere, “Take that shit outside!”

Max’s mouth leaves mine and I almost cry. “Come with me,” he says as he takes my hand and leads me away from the crowd.

I don’t care where he takes me as long as he takes me. I move with him, our bodies touch constantly and I am hot as Hades on a Sunday. A door he opens and we’re alone in a small room. He turns back to me, his eyes dark and I bite at my lip then his lips are back on mine. Our arms are wrapped around each other and I fear I may burst if I don’t get my body closer to his.

His lips leave mine and move down my cheek to my neck where he bites at me and sucks at my flesh. My knees give out and he holds me tight. His words are like embers on my ear, “I want you.”

I pull back and look at him. My hands press against his cheeks. “I never thought I’d see you again.” My heart beats like never before. My body cries for his and I can’t stop it. “I’m yours.”

A smile covers his caramel lips and his dark lashes fall over his deep green eyes. My shirt he unbuttons as I unbutton his. I pull his open, reveling his crazy abs and pecs. I try to kiss them, but he has my shirt and bra off and his mouth on my breast, which brings me to my knees. He comes with me and pushes my back to the floor.

Fire courses through my veins and I could literally die right now and I’d be so happy. I kick my sneakers off and move my hands to unbutton his jeans. As I unleash his beast and run my hand over the rock hardness of it, I let out another loud groan. “Oh, for Pete’s sake it’s harder than before,” I whisper to myself.

His body shudders over mine as he chuckles. I find it sexy as all get out and stroke his long, hard dick.

Oh my goodness, did I just say that? Well, he’s making me that ding dang hot!

He sits up over me and smiles down at me. To the side of me he moves and unbuttons my jeans, pulling them off as he gazes at my body. I watch him looking at me and find I’m nearly about to fall apart with just that.

What this man does to me is insane!

His thumbs hook on either side of my panties and he looks up at me. “I must have a taste, Lex.”

Oh, man! Oh, dear!

“K,” I say as I get ready to go completely crazy.

His lips touch my throbbing bud and I arch up to him as I almost scream with the want I have for him. My hands tangle up in his dark, wavy hair and my body gives itself to him. “I love you,” I groan.

He stops and looks up at me. “I love you too, princess.” His mouth goes right back to making me crazy and I moan loud and wonder why I ever stopped this in the first place.

His tongue taps at that little bud until it sends something shooting through me I’ve never felt. As I fall apart I feel his tongue inside me and moan again as it moves in and out. I need him in me like right now! “Max, fuck me now!”

What? What does this man have me saying?

He stands up and drops his jeans as he steps out of his shoes and smiles the whole time. “I have you saying shit you never said before.”

“You have me feeling shit I never felt before, so get your fine ass down here and make me scream.”

Who am I?

“Damn it, I’ve missed you, baby,” he says and I can’t quit looking at his gorgeous face.

My eyes close as he moves his body over mine. Hot lips touch my ear as he whispers, “I’m about to make you mine again.”

My breath leaves my body as he thrusts into me. It’s hard and animalistic as he moves back and forth, growling and hitting places I didn’t know existed. Tears of sheer joy roll down my cheeks as he rams into me and somehow I want him even more inside me. I wrap my legs around him and he takes one leg and puts his arm around it and moves it near my head.

Wow! Didn’t know I could do this!

He’s so much deeper in me now and I can see his eyes dark with desire as he watches my reaction. “How’s that, Lex?”

There are no real words for how it is so I lift my head up and take his mouth, making him kiss me. No disappointment do I have as he plows into me while his tongue does the same thing to my mouth. My body is on fire like never before.

His body stiffens and I think he’s about to lose it and I never want this to end. I pull my mouth from his. “Turn me over.”

He smiles and in an instant his strong arms flip me like I weigh nothing. He’s back inside me and I am whole again. I press my butt against his throbbing cock and whine at how good it feels. I never want this to stop. A hard slap on my butt he gives me and instead of making me mad it makes me even crazier for him. “Bite me,” I shout.

As he continues to push himself inside me he leans over my back and bites my shoulder. My body seizes and tightens around him. I scream as my insides turn into a mass of sensations I never knew existed. “Oh, fuck!” I yell as I fall apart and feel him stiffen and he makes a loud groan as I’m filled with hot semen.

I pulse around his still hard dick as I milk every drop of the fluid from him. “I love you,” Max says in my ear as he falls on my back. We land on the cold floor in a heap.

Max

The room is dark and the noise from the people and the basketball game can be heard. I hold the one I know I’m supposed to be with in my arms as she cries like a baby. “What if I get pregnant?” Lexi says as she sniffles.

I kiss her cheek. “I’ll marry you tomorrow if you agree to.”

“That was insane, Max. That’s how I know it’s too dangerous,” she says.

Please don’t tell me she’s about to run from me again!

Pulling her even closer to me, if that is even possible, I say, “Stop this nonsense. We belong together, Lex. I almost died, I’ll not spend my life with anyone but you, love.”

“The pretty red-head, Max,” she says as she bawls like a baby. “It’s her you should be with. She saved you. She’s your angel. It’s in all the papers and on the news stations.”

A kiss I leave on her cheek as I say against her ear, “She saved me for you, princess.”

A heavy sigh she makes, and she finally is quiet and her crying stops. “We are naked in a small room in a public place. You’ve made words come from my mouth I never thought would. I have a lot to think about.”

She pulls her body from mine and I almost want to cry myself. I watch as she grabs her clothes and pulls them on. I rise and put my clothes on. It’s as if she’s closed down on me, she won’t look at me.

I try to touch her, but she steps away from me. “Stop it!” I shout.

Her eyes finally meet mine and I can see it in them. She’s made up her damn mind and I’m going to be without her. “Max, you know as well as I do this is explosive, and that can’t be good.”

“Don’t, Lexi, please. I’m begging you to stop.”

As she buttons her shirt she says, “What do you suppose we do about this? I mean the sex is great more than great, but do you know how bad it will hurt if we try to keep this up and something happens?”

“Like what?” I ask as I grab her and pull her into my arms.

“This isn’t helping,” she says.

“I’m not trying to let you go, Lex. Stop being afraid of what might happen. Let’s have all the great days we can. Hopefully they’ll last for many years.”

Her head shakes and I may have to hogtie her to get her to stay with me. Then I remember who I have with me and wonder how I can go about taking her home with me. Her boyfriend probably won’t be too eager to let me take her either. “I know you have this boyfriend thing to deal with, so I’ll let you do that, but as soon as you do it, come to me,” I say.

“Max, no, I can’t,” she says then looks up at me. “Logan is too sweet to do that too.”

“Does Logan make you feel like I do?”

She pauses and I know he doesn’t. She shakes her head. “No, but it’s a much calmer way to live. No dramatic ups and downs. My heart doesn’t race when I’m with him. I mean, come on, how long do you think I’ll live with my heart always pounding so hard just with the touch of your hand?”

“We have something special, you and I.” I stroke her long, blonde hair and make her lay her head on my chest. “Don’t let this go because of fear.”

“What if you let me think about it for a while?” she asks, and it’s better than what she was saying.

“That’s all I ask, just think about it. And I have one more thing to ask you to do for me,” I say and take her chin in my hand to make her look at me. “Promise me if you have sex with that guy, or anyone, you make him wear a condom. If this little session here did get you pregnant I don’t wish to end up on Maury to see if I’m the father, okay?”

She nods. “What if I do get pregnant from what we just did? You had a lot of baby-making juice you just unloaded in me.”

“Then you’ll have to put this nonsense of us being dangerous for each other out of your head for good, because you will marry me and we will be a family for our child, okay?”

She nods again and finally I feel a bit safer about her, and secretly hope I did knock her up. I take her hand and lead her out of the little room and back into the lobby where I see Kate and her parents looking for me, seems the game’s over.

“Hey, I want you to meet the people who saved me,” I say as I pull her with me to meet them.

“How do I look?” she asks as she runs her hand over her hair.

“Like you just got your brains fucked out, you’re glowing,” I say with a laugh.

Her cheeks turn red and she slaps my arm. “See, you’re a bad influence.”

I wave a hand and Kate spots me. “Max, where were you.”

We meet Kate and her parents and I gesture to Lexi. “This is the love of my life, Lexi. I ran into her and we were just catching up with each other. Lexi this is Kate, my angel.”

Lexi extends her hand and Kate shakes it. “Thanks for saving him,” Lexi says. “Life would be boring if he weren’t around to ruffle my feathers every now and then.”

“You are his love. Is he yours?” Kate asks her with a frown.

Lexi looks back at me and says, “Yes he is.”

“Then why you two not together?” Kate asks. “If you love each other, you should be together.”

“It’s complicated,” Lexi says and I feel her trying to tug her hand out of mine. “Speaking of complicated, here comes Logan.”

I hold tight to her hand. She turns her eyes to mine and they are pleading for me to let her go, and I know I should, but I can’t seem to make myself do that so I hold on.

“Hey, Alex, where did you disappear to? And you are Max Lane,” he says as he extends his hand. I let Lexi’s go to shake it and feel a tiny bit bad about what I just did to his girlfriend.

“You must be Logan, Lexi’s told me so much about you,” I say and can’t help being a whole hell of a lot jealous she’ll live with him and not me.

Logan looks Lexi up and down, it’s not completely obvious what we did, but her eyes are bright and her skin glows and she’s lost all that nervousness she normally has. “You ready to go, babe?” he asks her and reaches out for her to take his hand.

She does and my heart stops. Two steps she takes away from me and I feel like grabbing her. “Bye, Max,” she says over her shoulder.

“Lexi, wait!” I say and they stop. I step forward and grab her free hand and pull her into my arms for one last hug. “I love you.”

Her body tenses in my arms and she pulls her head back. Tears glisten in her eyes. She mouths the words back to me and I have to let that be enough, for now anyway. “You keep in touch,” I say.

Then I let her go and watch her walk away with some other guy and now I know what she’s talking about when she says what we have is too painful, because everything in me hurts.

Please let her decide to come to me!

Alexis

Bright lights skip over the car windows as Logan drives us home. He hasn’t said a word and I know why. He’s going to pretend nothing happened so we can continue to stay together, but this life is a lie and I can’t let either of us live a lie.

“Logan, I have to confess….”

He interrupts, “Please don’t tell me, Alex.”

With his eyes looking straight ahead I can see unshed tears. “Logan, this thing we have isn’t fair to you.”

“I know you love him, but you said it yourself, you’re dangerous for each other.” He turns and looks at me. “I saw it, the raw passion, the all-consuming emotions you both had. It’s intense and I think you’re right not to want that in your life.”

“I’m not a hundred percent sure I don’t want it in my life anymore,” I say and watch as the first tear breaks free and rolls down his cheek. I reach out and wipe it away.

“Not sure anymore, huh?” he asks. “Where does that leave me, Alex?”

I look out the window, “I’m not real sure, Logan.”

I never meant to hurt him. I may not go back to Max, but I know I can’t continue to let Logan think we have a future. Lightning crackles through the sky and rain begins to fall as we go home, and I cry as I feel shame for my actions.

Why does life have to be so hard?

Part 5 Secrets of Temptation

Alexis

It’s been a month since I moved out of Logan’s nice house and into a crummy apartment in Dallas, but things are looking up and I’m moving in with a guy I work with a lot.

Just as roommates!

Marcos is so metrosexual. I think he may be homosexual and is just too wrapped up in himself to realize it. The guy spends more time on his appearance than any female I’ve ever known. We met at a modeling gig.

Oh yeah, I’m a model now!

When I was looking for a job, so I could move out of Logan’s house, I saw an ad for a modeling job at the mall and joked about checking that one out. Logan said I should and took me so I couldn’t back out of it. They hired me on the spot and have kept me busy this whole last month.

Logan was upset that I broke it off with him, but he lucked out at the modeling interview as he started talking to one of the women there and they hooked up. The worst part is that I felt no jealousy, I mean what’s wrong with me?

Logan is the nicest guy ever and I just didn’t feel anything deep for him. Friendship is about all I felt. I’m an idiot, that’s for sure.

So I’m in my van and driving back to Houston. That’s where Marcos has what he calls a to-die-for apartment. There are plenty of modeling jobs the company I work for has in Houston too. I love the town, but I do fear running into Max.

He’s been nice about giving me time and space, but I know he wants me with him and I’m just too afraid of that soul-shattering effect he has on me. I take his calls, because I promised him I would always do that. He’s down to one or two a week now. I think he’s trying to come to terms with the fact we’re dangerous for each other.

No one should have that ding dang much power over your happiness. No one should be able to make your whole day with just the touch of their hand or ruin your day by getting themselves sick or hurt. If he and I were to really be together I would always be worried about him. I’d try my best to wrap him up in bubble wrap and make sure nothing happened to him, because it would devastate me if it did.

Our last conversation he told me the young, French girl, Kate, who found him floundering in the ocean wants him to visit her in France. He said she asked if he would bring me along. She wants what’s best for him and she thinks it’s me.

Silly girl!

How can I be what’s best for Mr. Billionaire?

I’m pulling up to the gates of one very nice place which doesn’t even begin to resemble apartments. I push in the code Marcos gave me and the gates open, so I am definitely in the right place. Oh, man, this place is nice and my van looks like I’m here to clean someone’s home, not live here.

I really should get a nicer car!

Max

Pink and orange hues fill the sky as I sit by the pool and semi-patiently wait for Lexi to call me and tell me she made it safely to her new apartment. She’s moving in with a man she tells me is probably gay, and he’s completely gorgeous. She’s so naïve. I don’t trust her judgement and she won’t let me meet him or come see her. Our last encounter has her afraid of what we have.

I tried to push her hard at first, but she told me she’d stop talking to me all together if I didn’t, and these are her words, not mine, ‘put my panties in the icebox so I could chill out already.’

That girl always has me laughing. I wish she’d let me talk to her every day, but she won’t. There are times she’ll answer the phone, ask if I’m okay and when I say yes, she tells me that she is too and hangs up. She’s crazy and I’m crazy about her.

Kate has asked me to come to visit her and her family in France and asked me to bring Lexi. When I told her she refuses to go with me she tut tuts in her tiny voice with a French accent and tells me to try much harder. My little angel thinks Lexi and I are meant to be together and we must make sure we are, or our lives here are in vain.

Yeah, she’s over the top!

The French and their idea of all-encompassing love, it’s sweet, but when your soulmate is afraid of her own shadow it may be impossible to ever have what we’re apparently meant to have.

My phone rings and I see it’s my love. “Hello, love.”

“What did I tell you about that, Max?” Lexi asks.

“Not to say it, but I was worried with you on the road and I do love you. Every so often I want you to remember that, Lexi.”

“Anyway, Prince Charming, I made it. I’m safe and Marcos is making us celebratory Caipirinhas. He says they’re the latest cocktail and to-die-for. He uses that phrase a lot, so many things are so great you would actually give your life up for them.”

I laugh. “You are to-die-for, Lexi. You should let me come see you.”

“Should I?” she asks coyly.

My heart skips a beat. “Yes, I’ll bring you Chinese food.” I wait and cross my fingers.

“Marcos, you want Chinese food?” she shouts right into the phone.

Please, please, please want some, Marcos!!!

“Carbs, baby, no way!” I hear his very effeminate voice say.

“Steaks,” I blurt out. “I’ll bring steaks and salad!”

“How about steaks and salad?” she asks.

“Now we’re talking,” I hear him say. “Tell, Mr. Too Handsome, to bring some of the low carb beer we like so much and he can visit.”

I think I love this man already!

“Give me the address and I’ll be there,” I say and find myself jumping up and down with excitement.

“You sure?” she asks. “It’s like clear across town. I’d hate for you to go out of your way.”

“Lexi, you damn well know I’d go across the world for you,” I say and silence is all I hear.

I brought up the dreaded fact I’d do anything for her and stirred the fear pot she always has boiling inside her.

“Max, just so you know, I will not be having any type of sex with you and your visit will not be an overnight one. You can come and don’t forget the ice cream. I’ll text you the address. See you soon, bye,” she says and hangs up.

Dancing all the way into the house I see Hilda and grab her up in a big hug. “Mijo, what is this about?” she asks.

“Lexi is back in town and has asked me to come see her,” I say and twirl Hilda around.

She laughs. “Oh, how fantastic! Do you think she’s finally coming around and letting her crazy fears go?”

I let her go and walk towards the front door. I look over my shoulder and say, “I hope so.”

“Me too, Mijo, me too,” Hilda says. “Have fun.”

After a month, I’m finally going to see Lexi again!

Alexis

My freakin’ stomach is already swarming with butterflies.

I should’ve never said Max could come over!

I showed Marcos a picture of Max and he took my phone and sent the picture to our boss. Immediately she called me and asked who the gorgeous creature was and can I get him to work for her. When I told her I doubted it because he’s already quite wealthy, she said there would be a fat raise for me if I could. Then Marcos grabbed my phone and told her that he was the one who sent the picture so he should get the raise. She said if we could pull it off, we’d both get one.

So here I wait and try my best to stay calm as the man who makes my heart beat out of my chest comes to see me. It’s been a month and I’m about to burst as it is. With him around I might give in to him and I managed to escape getting pregnant from our crazy store room encounter and don’t wish to tempt fate anymore.

Marcos comes and sits next to me on the sofa. The man is immaculate with a black suit some insanely expensive designer gave him. These designers just give us clothes and asks us to wear them around. It’s crazy!

I had on shorts and a T-shirt when I got here this afternoon, but he made me change into clothes that he picked out. I have on a tight red dress and some heels to match, he says they cost a lot of money and I should take very good care of them. Then the man did my hair and make-up; he even spritzed me with some fantastic smelling perfume. I told him Max was going to come unglued and he said that’s just what we need him to do.

I feel a little bad for doing this to Max, but Marcos is demanding it.

What Marcos demands, Marcos gets!

The doorbell rings and my heart goes into overdrive. I find I’m sweating and start to drag my hand across my forehead. Marcos grabs my wrist. “No, mam!” He hands me a tissue then changes his mind and takes it from me, dabbing at my forehead himself. “Why are you such a mess, woman?”

“Max makes me so, uh, what’s the word, umm…” I say and Marcos nods.

“I see, he makes you stupid,” he says with a laugh. I roll my eyes. “Don’t do that anymore, you look like you’re crazy. Wait, you are!”

I move away from him and make my way to the door as I fan myself with my hand.

Be cool! Be calm! Don’t be taken to where you went before!

After a deep breath I open the door and find the most handsome man on the planet standing there with an arm full of bags and a twelve pack of Marcos’s and my favorite beer.

Max opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. His eyes roam over me and I blush. “I know it’s too much, Marcos fixed me up.”

“No, it’s not too much,” he manages to say. “Lexi, you’re beyond gorgeous.”

I take the beer from his hand and turn away. My heart is pounding and my knees are weak. I look over my shoulder and say, “Follow me, lover boy.”

Marcos looks at me and smiles. “So this is the Max Lane.”

Max sets the bags on the table and turns to Marcos. “And this is the Marcos.” Max extends his hand.

Marcos takes it and gives it a shake. “You are so much better looking than the picture.” His eyes move up and down as he takes in the gorgeous specimen of a man.

Max looks at me and laughs. “Okay, I believe you know.”

I nod. “I told you, completely metrosexual.”

Marcos laughs his silly laugh and slaps his leg. “You thought I was after your girl?”

“Stranger things have happened between roommates, Marcos.” Max pulls a beer from the box and hands it to him. “Anyway, I got us some steaks and I’d assume in this place there must be a pit of some kind where I can cook them.”

Marcos rolls his head to look at me. “You are an idiot. He cooks and is easy on the eyes.”

“I know,” I say and grab two beers from the box and place one in Max’s hand. “Follow me out to the patio, there’s a little pit out there I saw, and since it’s something Marcos bought it must be to-die-for and probably has never been used.”

“You just happen to be right, Lexi,” Marcos says and Max turns back.

“Not Alex?” he asks. “You call her Lexi too?”

“Obviously,” he says as his hands go up in the air. “She is no Alex, after all.”

Max looks at me and smiles. “Him, I like, princess.”

I’m trying so diggity dog hard to stay cool with him around, but it’s taking everything in me to keep my hands off him.

How long will I be able to hold out?

Max

I have no idea how long I can keep my hands off this gorgeous woman. I’m trying to play it cool so maybe she can stop thinking we’re way to passionate about each other and that it isn’t healthy. My plan is to keep my hands to myself and hopefully she’ll come to me.

This is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done!

She looks like a goddess in her tight, red dress. Her hair is curled to perfection and her make-up looks like it was professionally done. So I ask, “Did you learn how to use the curling iron and make-up case?”

“No,” Marcos says. “She’s stubborn and too impatient to take the time to do it right. I fixed her up.”

The thought of him raking his hands through her hair and running them over her face kinda makes me mad, but one look at him and I’m over it. He is very much about himself. A model too; he looks every bit the part. Perfect hair and body, dresses impeccably and holds himself so much better than regular guys.

“You did a great job, but you did have a fantastic canvas to start with.”

“I know, this woman has so much natural beauty, well it’s just not fair,” he says as his hands move about.

Lexi opens the fancy little pit on the patio and says, “Can we talk about something more important than my looks for the love of Pete’s dog?”

We both laugh and I move to stand behind her and nearly put my arms around her small waist, then stop myself and take a step back.

“So, how do you guys like your steaks?” I ask.

“Rare,” they both answer in unison.

“Me too, so this shouldn’t take long at all. Lexi, wanna help me in the kitchen?” I ask.

She nods and leads me to the kitchen. She looks through the cabinets and finds the spices and a bowl for the salad and tosses three potatoes in the microwave. My eyes follow her and I realize I’m doing nothing but gazing at her and if she catches me she’ll be upset. So I set to work on the steaks. “The drive was good, Lex?”

“Yeah, no big deal.” She places some spices down on the counter for me to choose from. Her arm brushes mine as she does and a fire rips right through me.

“Um,” I say as she moves away from me to make the salad. “So, what are your plans, other than work?”

“That’s all the plans I have for now, Max.” Her long, blonde curls bounce around her narrow shoulders as she pushes them back. “This dang hair is so long and always in my way when I don’t have it up.”

“It looks really beautiful like that,” I say and rub some spices into the meat.

“So I’ve been told,” she says and I see out of the corner of her eye she turns to look at me. “Sorry, I should say thank you.”

“That’s okay, Lex,” I say without looking at her. “I guess with this new modeling thing you get told nice things all the time.”

“Yeah, it was hard to get used to, but after my first monster paycheck I threw my distaste for it out the window.” She pauses. “Which reminds me that I need to trade in that ugly van. It looks like poopy parked in this nice place, plus it’s getting embarrassing pulling up to shoots in it. Do you know where I can get the best deal, Max?”

Yeah! I’ll give you a car!

“I know a guy, let me take care of it, Lex.”

“I want to pay for it myself, Max!” she says, sternly.

“Man, Lexi, you may want to pull your panties off and put them in the freezer so you can chill out,” I say throwing her quirky remark back at her.

“What does that even mean, Max?”

I turn to her and act as if I’m about to grab her, but turn at the last second to wash my hands. “Mind turning the water on for me, babe? I need to wash my hands.”

She has to lean over me to do it. Her perky breasts rub against my chest and send fire through my veins. I hear her take in a sharp breath so I’m pretty sure she felt it too. Quickly she moves back and she grabs a paper towel and dabs at her forehead. “Is it hot in here?” she asks.

I play it cool. “Naw, not to me, princess.”

“Hmm, well, um, anyway,” she says, stumbling over her words. “What were we talking about?”

“Me helping you find a great deal on a car and getting that old van traded in.” The paper towels are behind her and I smile as I reach past her to grab one and her face pales. I pull it off and take a step back as I dry my hands.

“Women get ripped off by car dealers all the time. Let me help you to be sure you don’t, that’s all. Plus I buy so many cars from this guy, he’ll give me a great deal on something nice for you. How much do you have to spend?”

She shakes her head then looks at me with wide eyes. “Um, uh, oh my I guess…”

“There’s that stammering I love so much,” I say and turn away to grab the platter of steaks and walk away from her. Just as I get to the glass patio door I turn around and catch her with her head tilted and her face goes red.

She was checking out my ass!

Alexis

I pace back and forth in the kitchen and try my best to calm my crazy libido. Max has me hot and flustered. He hasn’t touched me not once since he got here. Not a hello hug or anything. It’s driving me crazy.

I see Max and Marcos talking and grab us three more beers from the fridge and head out. A long drink of mine I take to steady myself. I set their drinks down and Max gives me a smile. “Hey, babe, can you find me something I can turn the steaks with?”

I turn around and go right back inside and catch the men laughing and have no idea why. I go back outside with a large fork and they abruptly stop laughing. “What’s so funny?” I ask.

“Your man is,” Marcos says.

I frown. “You know better than to call him that, Marcos.” I take a seat and give him a glare.

“I don’t mind being called that,” Max says. “I rather like it.”

Marcos’s phone rings and he looks at the screen. “It’s our boss. I’ll take this inside.”

I watch him walk away then I look at Max. He turns and comes to sit next to me. “So, anyway, Marcos will take you to your shoot tomorrow, so give me your keys and find the title to that thing. I’ll take it tomorrow and you’ll have a new car by the time you get back home.”

“I can only spend about five thousand, so don’t go crazy. Get whatever you can for the van and tell the man I have five thousand in cash and see what you can come up with.”

“Will do, princess.” Max sits back and looks out as the sun sets. “I watched the sun set three times when I was lost. Each time I thought of you. I thought how I had to hang on, so I could watch at least one more of them with you. It kept me going through the long nights.”

Tears automatically fill my eyes and I take his hand in mine and hold it to my heart. A few spill over my cheeks and I let them as I remember the pain I felt when I thought him dead. To be sitting here with him is a miracle. “I know I don’t tell you often enough, but I do love you, Max.”

His eyes glisten with tears. “I know you do, Lexi. I love you so much.”

I draw his hand up to my lips and kiss the palm of his hand. He takes in a sharp breath and I say without thinking, “Tell you you’ll spend the night with me.”

“I’ll do whatever it is you want, you should know that by now,” he says and pulls our hands to his lips and leaves a kiss on top of mine.

What have I started?

Max

I’m shaking, I’m so happy. Lexi asked me to stay the night with her and told me she loved me. She keeps those words to herself more often than not. I have no idea if she’ll let me make love to her, but I don’t care if all I get to do is hold her through the night.

To maintain my composure I excused myself and went to the bathroom so she wouldn’t see just how affected I am by her. She gets so freaked out with emotion and passion. A few deep breaths and I go back out to find Marcos back out on the patio with her. His eyes light up as I walk out. “So, Lexi tells me we’re having you as an overnight guest, Max.”

I smile. “You cool with that?”

He nods. “She’s paying half the rent, she can have guests if she wants.”

Lexi smiles shyly at me. “Our boss saw a picture of you and would like to talk to you about doing some modeling. She’d like to do a spread with all three of us in it for some yacht company. The shoot will be in three days. No shirts required.”

I sit and pick up my beer and take a long drink.

A model?

“The three of us?” I ask. Trying to wrap my head around this.

Marcos nods. “It’s easy money, man.”

“I’m not in need of money,” I say and look at Lexi. “I’ll do it if you want me to though.”

“No, don’t do it for me,” she says as she shakes her head. “Do it because you want to or don’t do it at all.”

“You know what, I will do it, and the money I make from it, I’ll donate to the children’s home. Plus I’ll get to be around you all day. Win, win, right?”

A smile lights up her face. “Okay, go call her back and tell her the good news.”

Marcos jumps up and squeals. “This is going to be so much fun, and more money!”

I sit next to her and put my hand on her thigh. “So I get to take pictures with you all scantily clad, huh?”

“I’m afraid so,” she frowns. “I need a tan too, so I’ll have to lay out some before then.”

“My pool is always available, so we can get our tans on there, if you like.” I run my hand down her leg and sparks shoot through me.

“Max, this doesn’t mean we’re together, okay?”

“Sure, I mean whatever, babe. I enjoy being around you, who says we have to make a big deal about it, right?”

She nods. “Okay, so are the steaks done? Can we eat now?”

I nod and find myself jumping for joy on the inside and it’s hard to maintain a calm exterior, but I know I have to or she’ll run again.

Alexis

My bedroom is awesome. Marcos has the best taste in absolutely everything. I’ve put on Max’s T-shirt I haven’t slept in since I went to Logan’s. He’s in the bathroom and I’m so nervous that I’m shaking and trying so hard to stop. I'm not sure about this at all, but I blurted out the invitation and it seemed rude to take it back, so here I am stuck with the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.

Even I know that didn’t make any sense!

“Hey, baby,” Max says as he comes into my bedroom, wearing only his tight, black briefs. He looks like a Greek God. Although I doubt they wore those things. “You ready to snuggle?”

Snuggle? That’s it?

“If you are,” I say and finally get my body to stop shaking. I take in a deep breath as he climbs under the blanket and his arm goes over me as I lay on my side, looking at him. “Max?”

“Yes, princess?”

“Maybe we can take things slow, huh?”

“Whatever you want.” His hand runs over my arm, leaving a tingle in its path.

“Last time was crazy. I don’t suppose you brought any protection?” I say and realize I just asked him to make love to me without even thinking about it.

He shakes his head. “I got rid of it all. I’m not thinking about being with anyone but you, and with you, I don’t need it.”

“But…,” I say then his finger touches my lips.

“Shh, Lexi, it’s all going to be alright. I promise you,” he says then his soft lips touch mine and my arms wrap around him, pulling him closer to me. Warmth flows through me as he slips his tongue through my lips. He tastes like mint and my tongue dances around his.

Tiny currents run on my skin where he caresses my back. I run my fingers through his shoulder length waves and groan at how silky they are. My groan makes him groan and he gently pushes me to my back and slides his hand under the T-shirt. He trails it slowly up my stomach, making it clench up. He goes until he finds a breast and kneads it softly.

Hi kiss is sending me to that place it always does, and I think only about him and how good he makes me feel. Only Max can take me to this place, so close to Heaven. I run my hands up and down his muscled back. His leg runs between mine, barely touching the place in between them that’s beginning to ache for him.

Pulling his mouth from mine, he trails his tongue down my neck until he settles just behind my ear and kisses, then nips at my skin. Goose pimples cover me in an instant. “Oh, Max, I love you.”

Hot lips touch my ear and warm breath flows over it. “I love you too, Lexi.”

His hands slide under my shirt and he pulls it over my head and looks down at my breasts, running his hands over them. His dark green eyes twinkle in the dim light. He is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. And he wants to be mine and mine alone.

I trail my fingers along the deep lines of his chiseled stomach. It quivers with my touch and I look up to find him biting his lip. This man wants me so badly and I find it hard to think of spending another night without him. I wiggle my finger at him as I want his lips on mine again and am growing impatient to have him inside where I’m aching to feel him.

He complies and kisses me again as he grinds his massive erection against me. Heat fills me and I kiss him hard. Then pull away from him. “Turn over, I want to do something to you,” I say.

With a smile, he moves off me and lies back on the large bed. “I’m yours to do with as you like, princess.”

Sliding my hands over his stomach, I hook my thumbs on the sides of his underwear, taking them completely off. Then I push his legs further apart and run my tongue up the inside of one of his legs. His dick is long and hard and I want to know what it tastes like. My eyes meet his and his are dark with desire. “You don’t have to do this, Lexi.”

“I want to,” I say and look at him as I slide his cock into my mouth. His eyes close and he groans as his fists clutch the sheet.

I move my mouth up the crazily soft skin and back down until the tip hits the back of my throat. I stifle a gag then pull up again. The hardness along with the silky smoothness is an irresistible combination. I find I want more and more of it. With a gentle suck I pull at it and run my hand along it as I pull it in and out of my mouth. “God damn it, Lexi, you’re so fucking good at this!”

His praise makes me happy and I move faster and suck harder as I pull it into my mouth then let it slide nearly out before I suck at it again. With my free hand I touch his balls and find them to be equally as enticing. As I move my hand up and down his rock hard dick, I release it from my mouth to suck on his huge balls which are filled, making them tight.

His hands wrap in my hair and he pulls me up and slides his dick back in my mouth where I go crazy on it, trying my best to get him to come. He moves my head to the rhythm he likes as I suck at it and make sure it’s wet. He stiffens and I lick the tip, making him explode in my mouth. I surprise myself by drinking it down and find it tastes good. He moans loudly. “Fuck me, Lexi that was so fucking good!”

I smile and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. “Not bad for my first time.”

“So much better than not bad, girl.” He sits up and makes me lie back. “Your turn.”

I giggle with excitement. My panties he takes off and then his eyes meet mine as he puts his lips on the magic spot only he can manage to find so well. I suck in my breath and close my eyes as he taps his hot, wet tongue against my very swollen clit. “Max!” I say as I exhale and arch up to him.

He grabs both my butt cheeks and kisses me deep, running his tongue up and down my folds and then into my vagina and I am about to come undone. My body is shaking and my hands tangle in his hair, holding him to me. “Fuck that feels good.”

He moans and that does it. I shatter and moan as I pulse inside. He pulls his mouth away and climbs my body. His mouth lands on my neck and he bites down hard as he thrusts his miraculously re-hardened dick into me, and I’m still throbbing as he sends me into another orgasm.

I scream as I come hard and my legs shake. “Oh, God!”

He pounds me into the bed and I keep coming. I’m wet as I’ve ever been and he slides in and out as I writhe beneath him. My stomach can’t stop clenching and I can barely breathe. Tears flow down my cheeks with how fantastic this feels. I never want it to end.

Slowly the pulsing begins to fade and my tears dry up. Max pulls out and grabs me, turning me over. He pulls me to my knees then pushes my shoulders until only my ass is in the air, then he pounds into me again and I find I’m coming again. I scream into the mattress with every slam of his monster hard dick into me. Each one sends my body into a fit of quivers and he’s in so deep I feel he’s a part of me. “Come for me, baby, come hard for me,” he says through gritted teeth.

I can’t figure how I could come any harder, then he slaps my ass hard with the next five strokes and I break into another full on orgasm and it’s harder than the others. “Fuck me!” I scream into the mattress.

Max stops and stiffens then he screams, “Oh, God!” His body shudders and I feel heat flowing into me. My walls pulse around him, pulling every drop from him. Finally I feel no more pulses from me or him and he pulls out and rubs my ass gently, making me drop to the bed.

I lie on my stomach, physically exhausted. He lies next to me and kisses my head as he puts his arm around me. “Sleep well, princess, I love you.”

“I love you,” I mumble, and then pass out.

Max

I lie awake and gaze at Lexi as she sleeps like a woman who has just been well fucked should. She’s completely out and makes these tiny snores every so often. I find it adorable and hope she decides that we can spend many more nights together.

I hold her in my arms, so hopefully if she does do something crazy like try to run off on me again, I’ll feel her and as long as I can kiss her, I can change her mind. I pray that her fleeing days are over, because there’s just no way she’d never want to do what we just did again. That was even more mind-blowing than at the basketball game. It just keeps getting better with this girl.

My head is spinning with how long I’ve waited to hold her all night long. Tomorrow I’m going to buy her the best car I can find. I don’t care what she says, I’m doing it and she can get used to getting spoiled. With her roomie on my side, maybe between the two of us, she’ll stop her nonsense of how dangerous we are for each other.

Alexis

The photo shoot went well and Marcos went cuckoo over how much money he made. Max and I have spent every night together either at his mansion or my apartment. He bought me an amazing Mercedes, even though I protested highly. I do love the ding dang thing though so I forgave him for buying it for me.

Although I have no desire to run from Max, I still feel like what we have is too much. Like it’s all too good to be true, and something has to go wrong. Life just isn’t this good. There’s no way we get a happy ending when no one else does. We’re on our way to give Max’s modeling money to the children’s home he grew up in down in South Texas. It’s desolate out here.

He holds my hand as we drive along for miles into the country. I turn my head and look at him with his expensive sunglasses on and looking so damn sexy it’s almost inhuman. “How much farther?”

“Really, Lexi?” he asks as he looks at me and frowns. “Just like a little kid.”

“Well, I have to pee and I haven’t seen a town in hours,” I whine.

“We just went through one,” he says. “But if you were blinking then you may have missed it.”

“I do tend to blink,” I say and look out the window at more nothingness. “What a horrible place to grow up.”

“It wasn’t so bad. It could’ve been much worse if my mother had kept me with her.”

Pain stabs my heart at Max’s poor childhood. I run my thumb over his knuckles. “You’re right. I’ll shut up and quit complaining.”

“Anyway you can pee soon, princess. We’re here,” he says, as we pull into a well-hidden community in the middle of nowhere.

He pulls up to a large home and gets out and comes to open my door. I have been instructed never and I mean never to open my own door. So I wait like a good little girl for him. As he opens it, I say, “So this is it, the boyhood home, of Max Lane?”

“No, this is the boyhood home of, Randy Lawton.” He takes my hand and leads me up a walk towards a green painted front door. “This was the house I grew up in.”

He’s never told me his real name. I put my arm around his waist and hug him. “You had a cute name.”

“It was okay, but she could’ve found me and I didn’t want that. A change was necessary.”

An older woman opens the door and has a baby in her arms. “Oh, Randy, how nice it is to see you again.”

Max gestures to me. “This is Lexi, the love of my life and Lexi this is my Mom, Lois.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Lois,” I say.

“You too, darlin’. Hey, how about you hold this little girl for me so that I can hug my son?” she asks as she places the baby in my arms, and wraps her arms around Max’s neck.

A bit flabbergasted as I’ve never held a baby before that I can remember, I hold the small thing tightly and she looks up at me and grabs my chin.

“Well, hello,” I say and she coos at me and it’s the most adorable sound I’ve ever heard. “Coo to you too, you precious thing.”

Her tiny eyes are bright blue and her thin hair is blonde and I wonder who would give this beautiful baby up. I look up at Max’s foster mom and see that she has tears in her eyes as Max has handed her the check for a massive amount of money. “Oh, I can’t believe this. You do so much for this place already, Randy.”

“And I’ll keep doing it until all the money runs out, which if my investments are as good as I think they are, will be never,” Max says with a laugh. He looks at me and holds out his hands. “May I, Lex?”

In an awkward way, I hold the baby out to him and he frowns at me as he takes her the right way. “Sorry, I’ve never handled a baby before.”

Max and Lois stare at me like I’ve said something completely crazy. “Well, that’s just nuts,” Lois says. “Come on in here and let’s visit a spell and you can learn how to handle a baby, dear girl.”

Max looks at the baby and holds her up, making her giggle like crazy at him. “Who’s the pretty girl?” he says and she laughs. “You’re the pretty girl.” He pulls her into a sweet hug and kisses the top of her tiny head and I get all melty inside.

Lois laughs and takes a seat in a large rocker. We sit next to each other on a long sofa, much longer than any I’ve ever seen before. “So when are you gonna show up here with one of your own to show us, Randy?”

“As soon as I possibly can. We’re working on it,” he says and I go scarlet.

“We are?” I ask as this is news to me.

He looks at Lois then back at me with a weird squint in his eyes. “What do you think we’ve been doing every night for the last three weeks, Lexi?”

“Oh my God,” I say and stand up. “Excuse me, Lois. I really need to borrow a bathroom.”

I hear him say as I walk away, “I’m going to marry her, don’t give me that look, Mom.”

“Well, you seem to be putting the horse before the cart, Randy, and that’s not like you.”

“I’d marry her today if she’d let me,” he says and I close the door.

How could I be so naïve?

Max

I’m home alone as Lexi is pissed at me. She thinks I was secretly trying to get her pregnant. Yet another thing no-one ever did for the poor girl was tell her how the birds and the bees work. She thought when I told her everything would be alright, I meant that she wouldn’t get pregnant.

How dumb is that?

Of course I told her that it meant I would marry her and we would be a happy family. She went to her apartment and told me she’s done with me. My little angel Kate was so unhappy when I told her the news, she said she was coming to fix it all. I don’t know how she plans on making Lexi understand I wasn’t duping her into having my baby, but hey, at least Lexi will talk to her. I’ve been removed from the circle.

Even Marcos laughed and told her how silly she was being, but she told him something about sucking on some rotten eggs or turtle eggs or some crazy thing like that. I told Kate the address of Lexi’s apartment and she’s stopping there first. Hopefully she will come here with my love and everything will be fine again.

Alexis

I lie on my bed and count. It’s what I do when I’m trying not to think about things. I can’t remember ever feeling so dumb. It’s been a week since I broke things off with Max. I took a pregnancy test and thank God it came back negative. That man acts as if I’m insane for thinking he was taking care of the birth control thing.

Okay, now I know! I’m an idiot! Hasn’t that been established yet?

A knock comes on my bedroom door and Marcos says, “Lexi, there’s a sweet, little French girl to see you, dear.”

A French girl? What the?

I open the door and see Kate, Max’s angel. “Did he send you?” I ask and turn to go back and lie on my bed.

“No, no,” she says as she comes into my room and sits on the bed. “I am here all on my own. It’s so nice to see you again, Lexi.”

I sit up and realize I’m being rude. “I’m sorry, Kate. I really am. It’s just that I realize I’m too dumb for Max. I’m so clueless I didn’t even realize he wanted to get me pregnant.”

“Oh! That’s a happy thing, isn’t it?” she asks. “You are the love of his life and he is yours after all.”

I nod. “But, I’m not sure about us yet and I know Max and if we ever have a kid, well he’ll never let me go.”

“He will never let you go anyway. Can’t you see that?” she asks as she pats my shoulder.

“There’s not much he can do about that if I refuse to see him, but a kid, now that changes everything,” I say and fall back on a mountain of pillows.

“I would readily have his children,” Kate says and I sit back up.

“You love him, don’t you?” I ask.

She nods. “Wee, wee, I do, and to be frank with you, if you don’t want him, I’d like to ask permission from you to pursue him. It is you who holds his heart after all. It is only you who can release it to another.”

“I knew it!” I say as I get up and pace around my room. “I knew you wanted him.”

“So what?” she says and stands too. “You do not want him and he’s a special man. Most would cherish him, the good man he is. You run from him and his love. You leave him for wanting only to build a family with you. You cut off your own nose to spite your face. If that’s how you want to live your life, then you are bad for him. No matter how you two were meant to be together or not.”

“And you will take him?” I stop my pacing and ask. “You will make him happy?”

“Wee, wee, I will try. I know I can do better by him than you have,” she says and flounces down on the chair in my room. “Never would I let him go, not ever.”

It rips me apart as she crams in my face how I’m no good for him. My ways are mean and he deserves better. He does deserve an angel and I can’t be one for him. “You know what, you’re right, Kate. I give his heart over to you. I’m not good for him.”

“You would really do that, Lexi?” she asks. “Perhaps you’d like more time to think before you give away someone so precious. Perhaps you’re making a decision which may be bad for you both.”

I shake my head. “Nope, I think it’s the right one. You are his little angel. I’m sure he can be happy with you. I’m sure you’d love to spoil him and he you. Yeah, go take him, he’s yours.”

Her blue eyes dance as she makes her way to the door. “Poor woman, so many insecurities. Great beauty such as yours should flow through every part of you. Whoever hurt you did a great injustice to this world, to destroy a person who was supposed to be a great woman, full of compassion and love, and a zest for life itself.”

“Yeah, well some did and they took it away along with my pride,” I say and lie back.

She closes the door behind her and gives me a sad look. “Bye, Lexi. I hope one day you get better.”

Max

The doorbell rings and my heart races as I make my way to the door. I pray Kate has Lexi with her. I open the door to see Kate, alone. “You couldn’t talk any sense into her,” I say and reach out to hug my little angel.

“She is broken, Max. I do not know what will fix the poor woman,” she says and I lead her into the house. “I told her I was going to pursue you and she told me to go ahead and do it.”

“Really?” I ask. “She’d just let me go, just like that? After all we shared with each other. After all we’ve been through with each other, she’d just hand me over?” I ask as I throw my hands in the air. “What am I to do with that, tell me, Kate?”

“You are to do what I tell you to, if you want her to see her mistake in giving you up once and for all, Max.” Kate’s eyes go narrow and she says, “Place an announcement in the paper and a picture of us in the wedding announcements section. I brought my mother’s enormous and gorgeous engagement ring just in case we had to resort to this.”

“Maybe this isn’t worth trying so hard for anymore, Kate. Maybe I should move on,” I say.

Her tiny hand grabs my arm and she shouts in a tiny voice, it’s adorable, “I will not take this attitude from you too, Max! She is why I found you and you know it. Now we have to make her know it as well, and she’s stubborn so it won’t be easy, but I never plan on letting you give up the fight for a love as glorious as one day yours will be.”

With tiny stomps, she moves away muttering things in French and I can see my little angel will never allow me to give up.

Oh! What Hell will I have to go through for this woman to stop being so crazy and just let me love her already?

Part 6 Secrets of Seduction

Alexis

Light streams through the window and I rub my tired eyes. I slept like puppy poop last night after my encounter with Kate. She wants Max, and I told her to go for it. But I tossed and turned as I dreamt of a life without him in it. It was awful and I know I need him in my life.

The words Kate said about me being someone who was supposed to be something else keep running through my head. Maybe those girls who beat me nearly to death when I was a teenager did break something in me.

I never got any therapy after the incident. When my parents didn’t press any charges, no one seemed to think about the fact it might be something I needed. Now I think I might need some, so I think I’ll find me a therapist today and go see Max.

I can’t lose him. I need to keep him around until I fix what’s wrong with me. I roll out of bed and a banging comes on my bedroom door. “Oh my God, Lexi, you have to see this!” Marcos screeches.

Moving quickly, I open the door and the newspaper is in my face. Max and Kate are on the front page and she’s holding up a monster engagement ring. I turn and run back to my bathroom as I start crying.

Marcos comes in and wraps his arms around me. “Lexi, sweetie, don’t cry. If he really is marrying her so soon, he wasn’t the one for you.”

“I was going to go see him today,” I say as I feel a bout of nausea welling up in me. “I’m going to get therapy so I can stop being so crazy.”

“What a great idea,” Marcos says and gets a wet washcloth and taps it all over my face. “After your horrible experience, you really should.”

“I love him so much,” I say as I fall apart and cry on Marcos’s shoulder.

“Perhaps there’s still a chance for you two,” he says.

I shake my head as I sob, knowing I did this.

I told her to take him and she did! And he let her!

Max

My stomach aches with what Kate had me do. I know it’ll break Lexi’s heart no matter what she’s said. Kate assures me Lexi will be running to me by the end of the day. She said sometimes that great love comes with great pain. It’s the pain that lets us know what we have is real.

If that’s true, then what we have is very real as this is killing me to do to her. Kate took my cell phone so I couldn’t get weak and call Lexi to tell her the engagement isn’t true. That little chic is hard as nails.

I think I should take a run to put this out of my mind and see what happens. If she doesn’t contact me by tonight, I’m calling her first thing in the morning and telling her it isn’t true. It’s not in me to torture someone.

Apparently the French are ruthless!

Alexis

I lie in my bed and cry as Marcos has left for a shoot I couldn’t bring myself to go to. I cried all day yesterday when I saw the news and this morning I woke up crying again. It’s crazy how awful I feel. I want to call him so bad, but feel so dumb for telling her to take him. And I’m pissed at him for saying he’d marry her so quickly. I’m sure he still loves me.