Winter by Michelle Love (11)

“What do you mean by that?” I ask Blake over the phone.

“I just mean that I’ll be out of touch for a while. I’ll let you know when I’m back in reach. I just didn’t want you to freak out if you called or texted and I didn’t answer back right away.”

“But it’s Saturday and you and I always spend the entire weekend on the phone together in one way or another.” I run my hand over the naughty nightgown I bought so we could do a little facetime and I could drive him crazy.

You can totally see my nipples through the thin, pink silk!

“I know that, baby. It’s been two months since I’ve seen you and believe me, I want to be on the phone with you this whole weekend too. I just have to do some things and it’s going to take me a few hours, like seven of them, then we can talk.”

“That’s the whole damn day!” I stomp my foot as if that’s going to help. He can’t even see me for Christ’s sakes.

“I am sorry. I swear I’ll make it up to you.”

I pout and stomp and act like a real little baby. “Fine! Call me when you get done with whatever it is you’ll be doing. I’ll go to visit Peyton and Kip.”

“No!” he shouts. “Stay at home.”

“Why? Are you sending me a surprise?” I ask. “I don’t want you sending me that car you told me about. I’m no kept woman, Blake.”

“My God! No, I’m not sending you a car. I know better than to do that. It’s just that when I call you I want to do a little facetime action and I want you home so we can do that, okay pumpkin?”

“So you want me to just sit around here all day and wait for your call?” I ask in complete disbelief.

“That’s exactly what I’m asking you to do. While you’re hanging out, I’d love it if you would look on the internet and pick a place for us to go to this summer. Anywhere you want.”

“Well, where do you want to go?”

“This first trip is yours to pick. I’ll pick the next one.”

“Well, that does sound interesting. I think I’ll do that. Maybe a trip to the wine country or the mountains or the beach.”

“Seems like you have some research to do as you are all over the place with your ideas there, honey.”

“Seems I do. I guess I’ll be fine looking up stuff while you do what it is you’re doing. What was it you are going to be busy with again?” I ask trying to get it out of him.

“Nope, I’m not about to tell you. You’ll know soon enough. Love you, kitten.”

“Kitten, huh? You and your little love names. Okay then, love you too, tiger.”

With a roar, he ends the call and I go to see how much wine I have in the house. Getting drunk and searching the internet for interesting places to go sounds like what’s about to fill my day.

Blake

The sun is setting, leaving perfect pinks and light oranges in the sky in my rear-view mirror. I flew my new chopper to Kip’s place and borrowed one of their cars and am about to surprise Rachelle.

It’s about the time she usually is ready to eat dinner so if she’s up to it and we can keep our hands off each other long enough, I’m going to take her out to eat somewhere nice then take her to a luxurious hotel overlooking the ocean.

I set it all up last week and we’ll be staying not only the weekend in the hotel but the whole week there. She can go to school and work from there. I just need to be with her for real, not over the damn phone.

Her apartment comes into view and I’m getting all giddy and my insides are wiggly. I take a spot in the visitors parking area and notice that her car is here, but someone is pulling in behind it.

A tall man is getting out and carrying a white bag to her door. I wait and watch to see what happens next without taking a breath. I roll my window down so I can hear them.

He knocks, the door opens, and he says, “Hey.”

Mother fucker! He has a British accent!

He goes inside and the damn door closes. I grab my cell phone and call Rachelle. She answers the phone and I have to steady my voice as I want to scream and yell and punch somebody. That fucking guy to be specific!

“What’s up?” I ask, a little more harshly than I mean to.

“Hey, baby,” she purrs into the phone. “Finally finished with your what the fuck ever it was you were doing?”

“Yep, what are you up to?” I ask between clenched teeth, holding the steering wheel so tight I might actually pull it right off.

Her door opens, and the guy walks out then he looks over his shoulder. “Enjoy the meal, I’ll see you at work on Monday.”

She mutes the phone I can tell as I can hear her call out the door to him, but I can’t hear it over the phone. “See you Monday and thanks for bringing this over. I’ve had a bottle or two of wine and didn’t want to drive.”

“Always call me, Shelly. Never risk it, sweetie.”

Sweetie! Oh hell no!

“Hey, Rachelle. So what’s up?” I snap at her.

“Oh, sorry. I was just telling the delivery guy thanks. He brought my dinner. Oh shit!” she says and I see her door close and the guy drives away.

“Oh shit, what?” I ask as I get out of the car.

She giggles. “Seems I gave the guy a bit of a peek at my goodies. I forgot I had on this little nightgown set to show you when we facetime. Hey, you wanna do that now? I can hang up and you can make the call, baby.”

“What do you mean he got a peek? What the hell are you wearing? And why the hell would you let him inside? Is that the Brit you went out with?” I ask as I walk up to her door.

“He is, but wait!” She goes silent then whispers, “How did you know he was British and I let him in?” I knock at her door. “Hold on a minute, Blake. Someone’s knocking at my door.”

She opens it without even looking through the peep hole. With the phone still to her ear she looks at me and her eyes seem a little droopy. I look behind her to see two empty wine bottles and another half empty.

“Blake,” she mumbles and I have to catch her as she drops the phone and stumbles back, nearly falling down as she passes out.

Rachelle

I open my eyes and the room is dark. Slapping at the bed, I find myself in my bed, but have no clue how I got here. I rub my head as it hurts a little and moan as I turn over to see if my phone is on the nightstand.

It isn’t and I have no idea where it is. Sitting up, my head spins and I sit perfectly still until it stops.

What in the hell did I do?

I manage to get my head to stop spinning and find a bottle of water on the nightstand and chug it down. After waiting another few seconds, I stand up and go out to the living room.

I must’ve left the television on as it’s on and the light in my kitchen is too. The sound of the blender goes off and I nearly run back to my bedroom.

Who’s here?

Creeping back to my bedroom I remember that I ordered dinner from where I work and Shaun brought it for me since I had been sipping on some wine.

Fuck! It’s Shaun! Oh shit!

I go into the bathroom and find my hair looks like a cat sucked on it. Is that because we had sex?

My nightgown thing is still on, but it’s all types of pulled wrong around my body. The only real way to tell is to take a whiff of myself.

I run my hand into my panties and close my eyes as I take a little sniff of my fingers. No smell of sex, just me.

Thank God!

Okay, I need to put some clothes on and go tell him to leave. That’s all. If anything else happened I’m going to tell him, I don’t want to know about it.

Please don’t have let anything happen between me and him!

After pulling my hair back into a ponytail and washing my face which had a considerable amount of drool on it, I’m dressed in shorts and a T-shirt and am covered back up and feel confident once more.

I march out of my bedroom, head held high and acting as if I am perfectly aware of all that’s happened. The blender has stopped and I can hear dishes being put away.

“Shaun,” I say. “Why are you still here?”

A head pops around the corner from behind the cabinet and I nearly fall backward. “Shaun?” Blake asks.

My heart jumps inside my chest and I scream. “Blake!”

I jump up and down and run to him, throwing my arms around him and peppering kisses all over him. He picks me up in his arms and kisses the side of my head. “Hey, girl.”

“You’re here,” I say as I pull back and run my hands over his shoulders. “You’re really here in the flesh.”

“I am. Are you surprised?” he asks as he sits down on the sofa, keeping me on his lap.

“More than you can imagine.” I run my hands through his blonde locks. “I missed you even more than I realized. My heart is stuttering.”

His smile makes me stop thinking and I just gaze at him. “I actually came at the same time your boy Shaun did.”

“You did?”

“Uh, huh. I thought I was going to have to kick some ass. Am I going to need to do that, Rachelle? I mean what exactly was going on?” His blue, brown eyes are boring into mine and seem to be looking into my brain for the answer he’s seeking.

“No ass kicking will be necessary as I had some wine. A glass or two.”

He holds up three fingers. “Two and a half bottles.”

“Maybe. I don’t really remember all that. I just remember that after I talked to you this morning I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be showing you the cute little nighty I had on because you were too busy for me.”

“Coming to see you,” he says with a frown.

“Well, I know that now, duh!” I shrug. “Anyway, I didn’t eat all day, just sipped the wine and looked at different places to go like you said to. I got woozy and felt that I should eat. You know me, there was nothing in the house to eat. So I called work to see if anyone there would be kind enough to bring me something and Shaun said he would.”

“What a nice guy,” Blake says with the most sarcasm I think I’ve ever heard in anyone’s voice in my entire life. “Remind me to thank his ass.” He smiles. “And you answered the door and let the dude in, wearing that little thing that showed your tits and ass. Were you aware of how much of you was showing through that?”

I nod. “Yeah, but not at that time. It was meant for your eyes only. I meant to throw on a real robe before he got here. Somehow the time snuck up on me and I totally didn’t realize I was answering the door like that. I’m going to have to apologize to him for that. How terrible of me.”

“I’m sure he was really traumatized by it, Rachelle. I don’t think an apology is in order. I’d like to just gouge his eyes out and maybe give him a little lobotomy to erase the images of you I’m sure are now burned into his brain.” His finger flicks a strand of my hair off my shoulder and electricity runs rampant through my body.

My cell phone rings and I look to find it sitting on the little counter top that separates the kitchen and dining area.

“There it is. Did I leave my phone there? And when did you get here? And how did you get in?”

He gets up and places me on my feet and goes to get my phone. He looks at it and holds it up. “Your work is calling.”

With a toss of the phone I catch it and ignore the call. “I don’t feel like talking to anyone from there. So how did you get in?”

“You really don’t remember?” he asks as he comes back to me.

His hand wraps around my wrist as he pulls me back to sit on his lap. “No. the last thing I remember was being on the phone with you.”

“Hmm. Okay. I’m not loving this. But we can deal with this all later. I’d like you to get dressed if you think you’re up to it. I’ve made us reservations at a very nice hotel and spa on the ocean for the rest of this weekend and all next week.”

“You did not,” I whisper.

“I did. So let’s get you packed up. Not too many things though. I’m taking you on a clothes shopping spree while I’m here and I’ll be filling up your closet. Furthermore, I will be buying you a car. You are mine and I want you to have nice things. I’m done taking no for an answer.”

I blink and smile. “Along with that pilot’s license did you get a certification in assertiveness, Mr. Chandler?”

He cups the back of my neck and pulls me in for a kiss. It’s hard and his tongue thrusts into my mouth as he really shows me he means business. I’m panting when he releases me. I leave my hand on his hard chest to steady myself.

“Maybe,” he says. He stands up and places my feet on the floor. A hard slap he gives my ass. “Now go get ready woman. You and I are about to find out how to live like billionaires.”

With eyes wide, I look at the man I have come to love and whisper, “It’s like the Beverly Hillbillies all over again.”

“You betchya,” he says with an over the top southern drawl. “Wee doggies! We might just have to get us a mansion with a cement pond!”

I laugh all the way to the bedroom, but it’s a nervous laugh.

It seems the going slow thing is headed out the window!

Blake

The full moon looks a little closer than it normally does as I look out the window on the sixth floor of the hotel. The Pacific Ocean sparkles beneath it and I wonder if Mom is liking where I spread her ashes.

Rachelle comes out of the bathroom, looking like an angel in the hotel robe. Her smile is radiant. “You thinking of anyone in particular as you gaze over that water, baby?” She slips into my arms and I kiss the top of her head.

“How can you tell?” I ask.

“Your eyes are the slightest bit glassy. I’m sure she loves the fact you did what they asked you to. Going from one side of the country to the other to do what they asked, not a lot of people would follow through with that. You did though. You make a promise and you keep it. That is for certain.”

“I can promise you this,” I whisper against her head. “You are about to come nine ways to Sunday.”

“Wow! That’s a big promise. Somehow I do believe you though,” she says and turns her head up to mine. “So when is this going to happen?”

“Right now.” I pull her up into my arms and look around the room. “Where first? Every part of this place is so gorgeous.”

She looks back at the window. “We’re up high enough no one will see us. How about right her on the floor, doggy style so we can both look at the full moon over the ocean?”

“I like the way you think. You know you’re going to make some man a great wife one day.” Just as the words come out of my mouth I wish I could take them back. Rachelle is not one to jump the gun with. She might get scared and run.

To my amazement, she smiles and takes a step back, dropping the robe and standing naked in the moon’s light as the rest of the room is dark. “You think?” she asks as she wiggles her finger at me.

Oh, what is this pleasant surprise?

Rachelle

Cuddled up to Blake in this large and extremely comfortable bed, I’m glowing after all the love we made. It’s our last day here at this expensive and ultra-fancy hotel and I’m sorry it’s ending.

It’s been like a fairy tale and to say I don’t want it to stop surprises me. I let Blake do so much for me. He bought me a BMW and we now have personal stylists that helped us both get whole new wardrobes.

We’ve hit every elegant restaurant in this city. I’ve gotten a ton of ideas for a restaurant which I’m actually contemplating letting him get for me. Everything is fitting into place somehow.

Soft, warm lips touch my cheek and I turn my head and look into the sleepy eyes of the man I love. “Mornin’ gorgeous,” he mumbles.

“You are gorgeous and good morning to you.” I kiss his cheek.

I turn to face him and he pulls my body against his. His package is pulsing and growing and I start to get wet. My body reacts to his as if we are two separate parts of one whole.

His voice is rough from sleep as he says, “Last day here, baby. You about ready to make some things a little more permanent? Or should I head back to Lubbock and give you more time and space?”

“I don’t want space. I want you. I want to wake up with you every morning and fall asleep in your arms every night.” The words that have just come out of my mouth I had no forethought about what-so-ever.

Blake’s eyes go wide then he smiles and closes them as his lips touch mine. My body is wrapped in his arms and the warmth I felt turns into heat. I’m not sure what will happen from here with us, but right now I know I’m about to show him what he means to me.

Abandoning any fears, I fall away with him into a deep sea of hope. His hands roam over my back, sending electric currents through me. His kiss deepens and his tongue strokes near the back of my tongue.

I’m beginning to ache for him and I press my sex up against his now completely erect cock. He turns me onto my back and moves his body over mine. His arms go on either side of me, locking me in.

My knees go up and he presses his large cock into me and we both moan like it’s the best thing on Earth, which I think it just might be. It’s odd how I never felt like just a part of a person before, but when he and I connect, I’m a whole new being.

One hand runs over my breast, flicking the nipple. He moves his mouth off mine and looks at me.

“You are so beautiful. I can’t believe I’m going to get to wake up to you every day.”

My stomach tightens as he moves in and out of me with slow strokes. “I hope you don’t get bored with me.”

“Never,” he says then runs little kisses over my neck then gives me a little bite.

It sends me into another realm and I arch up to meet him. Faster and harder he moves against me. He takes one leg and hikes it over his shoulder. He’s much deeper and I feel him as he moves in and out with hard thrusts.

I run my hands up and down his muscled arms and groan with how fantastic they feel. I let them rest on his large biceps and look down to watch our bodies connect.

His long, wide cock plunges into me and the sight of it makes me crazy. I’m mesmerized at how something so thick and big can fit into me and create such pleasure.

Tell, tell signs of an impending orgasm start and my legs start to quiver. He looks at me and slows down. “I want this to last.”

“So do I,” I say and I’m not talking about this session of love making. I’m talking about the whole thing. Life with him. I want it to last forever.

He grinds his hips to mine and slows his pace. A sweet, soft kiss he places on my lips. Releasing my leg, he strokes his fingers down my side. Pulling his lips off mine, he looks at me again, his blue, brown eyes sparkling.

“I love you, Rachelle.”

“I love you too, Blake.”

I take his face between my palms and raise my head to kiss him. His lips linger on mine for a moment then I lick his bottom lip and pull it between my teeth. My little bite stirs something in me and I run my fingernails over his corded back.

He growls low in his wide chest. I’m flipped over before I know it and he smacks my ass before plowing into me. Only two strokes in and I’m falling apart.

Groans and shrieks come out of me on their own accord. My body is shaking as I have one, long, continuous orgasm. “Blake! God! Blake!”

He stiffens then I fill with his heated juices. His groan is music to my ears. He’s a little more than satisfied and for some reason that makes me ecstatic.

He releases me and I fall to the bed in a breathless heap. He falls next to me and tries to catch his breath.

All I can hear is our ragged breathing and I love it. I love everything about all of this. My mind flies around with all we could have and do and experience.

I take in a deep breath and finally steady. “Whatever kind of bed this is, I want one. I don’t know how I can ever go back to my crappy bed.”

“You won’t have to. Give that place up today. We can stay here until we find a place.”

“No,” I say and turn over to lay my head on his chest. “Let’s go to another crazy great hotel, a new one each week, until we find a mansion of our very own.”

“Whatever you want, baby. We are going to live it up. I’ve barely spent a dime of my money in this last year. What do you say to a weekend in Vegas?” His hand runs over my shoulder and I shiver with his touch.

“I say yes. But I do think we need to set a spending limit, don’t you? I mean neither of us has ever had money so we could totally fuck up and waste away all your hard won money. Your parents would never want that.”

“We can do that if it makes you feel better. Let’s get a touch more sleep then we’ll get ready and start the day.” He rubs my arm and I settle into his wide chest and close my eyes.

We are really doing this!

Blake

If we are really doing this, I want it to be right. I want Rachelle to be a complete part of team Blake.

She agreed to go to Vegas together this weekend. I left her at her apartment packing up things, deciding what she’ll keep and what will get taken to a charity.

I found out she wears a size six ring and am going to surprise her with an engagement ring. I’m going to ask her to marry me tonight and when we get to Vegas we can pick out wedding rings and get married.

I’m not going to risk something happening to me and leaving this world without making sure Rachelle has whatever I leave behind. My money will be her money too and that idea makes me the happiest guy in the world.

Striking while the iron is hot is my tactic here. Rachelle has kept everyone at a distance her whole life and now that she’s letting me in, well, let’s just say I’m going to make sure I stay completely in.

If I give her too much time she could flake and run away again. Her mind or her crazy mother’s influence can change things in a heartbeat. No, I’m taking no chances.

I’m putting a ring on that pretty little finger and making her mine for good.

Damn, I hope she says yes!

Rachelle

“Yeah, Mom, we’re heading out to Vegas later tonight. We’re spending the weekend there then we’ll come back to L.A. and find a nice place to stay. It’s really happening, we’re moving forward and I feel ready for that.”

The way my mother is hesitating has me a little worried. “This is all happening so fast, Shelly. Are you sure about this?”

“It’s not really happening so fast, Mom. For the last two months we haven’t even seen each other. We’ve texted and talked on the phone and learned so much about one another. And after this week together I know he’s got to be the one for me.” I pack away my dishes to give away. I won’t be needing them anymore.

“So, what is the plan then? Are you and he getting married?”

Married? Who said anything about that?

“Whoa! Mom, I never said we were getting married. This is a trial run. I mean I only want to get married one time, and that’s it. We can live together for a few years and if that all works out then we can get married if that’s what we decide we need to do. It’s just a piece of paper really. I don’t need it.”

“Well, that’s smart of you. No reason to get too deep into this thing with him. You barely know the man.”

My mother’s words are starting to annoy the shit out of me. “Mom, I do know the man. I know him better than I’ve ever known anybody. It’s not the fact that I don’t know him that has me saying we don’t need to get married, it’s the idea that I want to marry only one time.”

“I see, sweetie. Well, as long as you are living your life on your own terms. That’s what really matters. You have to do you and let him do him. No reason to live your life for anyone else.”

Her advice seems wrong to me and I decide I need to end the call before she gets in my head and makes me second guess my decisions. “Okay, Mom. Love you, but I gotta go now.”

“Okay, bye Shelly. I love you.”

I end the call and toss my phone on the sofa. I look around and there’s so much to do I think maybe Blake and I don’t need to take the trip to Vegas. We should stay here and get this squared away this weekend.

I’ve practically vacationed this whole last week anyway. There will be plenty of time to go to Vegas and gamble. For now, getting out of this little apartment is my top priority. That and beginning our search for a place of our very own.

My phone rings and I see it’s Peyton. “Hey, girl,” I answer.

“What’s this I hear about a trip to Vegas?”

“I wasn’t aware Blake was telling anyone. Did he invite you guys along?”

“He did, but we can’t go. Kip’s parents are out of town and it’s too short notice to get Pax to my parents. I hope you guys have fun out there.”

“Yeah, about that. I think I’m going to tell Blake it’s a bad time to go. Did he tell you he and I are moving in together?”

“No! What?” she shouts into the phone, making me pull it away from my ear. “That’s great, Shelly!”

“Yeah, I’m pretty jazzed about it. But I have to get rid of some of my things and pack others up and get them into a storage building until we find our own place.”

“There’s a mansion for sale in our neighborhood. How cool would that be? It’s only about a mile up the street. Want me to get the number off the sign?”

“How cool would that be?” I ask as I jump up and down like a little kid. “Yes, get the number for Blake.”

“I’m going to put Pax in his stroller and walk down there now. I’m so excited! Talk to you soon.”

I jump and up down and do a little dance. Life is coming together and I can hardly wait.

Blake and I are moving in together!

Part 9 No Luck

Blake

My heart is pounding so loudly in my chest I can barely hear Rachelle’s answer. I’m on one knee, holding out the black box with the monster engagement ring in it and haven’t taken a breath since the words, ‘will you marry me,’ came out of my mouth. It seems like an eternity ago and she’s still just looking at me.

Her lips are moving and I think she’s about to say yes.

Wait! That’s way more than one word!

“Hold up, Rachelle.” I get up and shake my head and take in a deep breath. “Say that again. I couldn’t hear you.”

“Blake, it’s too soon. It’s a nice gesture, but I want to get married only one time.”

A nice gesture? WTF!

“Rachelle, are you telling me no?” I search her eyes for some sign of hope, but only find confusion.

“I’m not saying no, Blake. I’m trying to tell you that I want to only get married one time. I thought we were moving in together. You know, step one on a list of steps. One day at a time.”

I snap the lid shut on the box with the uber-expensive ring in it and drop my ass on the sofa. “So, what are you saying? Are you saying you’ll think about it or what?”

“Not really.” She takes the place next to me and runs her hand over my shoulder. “Don’t you think this is sudden?”

“Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? Like a surprise? I mean, aren’t you surprised and maybe a little happy about me asking you to marry me? To become my wife and share all I have should be a thing that makes you happy.”

Her brows furrow and I have no idea why anyone would wear that expression when not only asked to marry the supposed love of their life, but also become a billionaire by doing so.

“Blake, what’s the rush? I was just talking to Peyton and there’s a mansion down the street from them. We could move in together for a while. You know a trial marriage before doing all the legal stuff. Once that’s done, it’ll make it harder for us if we don’t work out.” Her delicate finger strokes my chin and it’s pissing me off.

I pull her hand away from my face and frown at her. “I don’t want it to be easy to end what we have. Does that make sense to you? I want us tied up financially and mentally and even physically if you want the truth. Rachelle, I want to know you’ll be the one who gets the money I won if anything happens to me. Otherwise the state will get it or something like that as I have no living relatives that I know of anyway.”

Her head is shaking and I cannot understand why she’d have a negative response to what I just said. “Blake, I don’t want your money.”

“Do you hear yourself? You don’t want money? Are you insane? You’d rather someone else get what’s mine if I die?”

“Don’t even talk about dying! You’re not old, for God’s sake! When did you get this idea that you were about to die?” She gets up and walks to the kitchen. “I’m getting a beer. You want one?”

“No,” I say as I get up and follow her. “I want you to marry me. I really can’t think about anything else until you give me a straight answer. It’s either a yes or a no, Rachelle. I don’t understand this trial marriage thing and don’t want to. I want a real marriage with you and I’d like us to get a puppy.”

Her hands go up in the air for some strange reason.

“A dog! No, no, no! Blake, are you crazy?”

“Why would you ask that? It’s a thing that people get sometimes. It adds joy to their lives. Are you against joyous living for some odd reason? Cause it seems like you are.” I reach out and take her into my arms. “Marry me, Rachelle.”

“Blake, this is just too soon.” Her head drops and all I can see is the top of her head as she leans her face against my chest.

“Would you let me put the engagement ring on your finger?” I ask then kiss the top of her head.

“That thing looks like it cost you a small fortune. I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing it.”

“Please.” I give her a squeeze.

“I can’t. It’s too much, Blake. It’s over the top, you know?”

She pulls out of my arms and opens the fridge and pulls out a beer. I take it from her and twist the cap off the tall bottle then hand it back to her. “I thought you’d like it, but if you don’t, we can take it back and get anything you want. If you want simple, then you can have simple. With all the money I have, I thought it would be a shame to put something cheap on your finger.”

She takes a long drink and I can tell she’s nervous.

“At this point, I don’t want any ring. I just want you and I to take this thing slow, like you said we could.”

“Moving in together is just like being married only you have no real stability. My things will remain my things and that’s not okay with me. I want you taken care of…”

She interrupts me. “Yeah, I know, in case you die.” She takes another long drink and walks to the sofa where she plops down. “I can take care of myself, financially. I don’t need your money, Blake.”

I follow her and sit across from her so she can look at me while I try to talk some sense into her. “I know you don’t need it. Look at it like this, I need to know if I leave this world, you will have my money. The only way I can be sure that’ll happen is if we’re married.”

“What about love?” she asks as she winks at me. “I’d like love to be the reason I marry someone.”

“Rachelle! You fucking know I love the shit out of you!”

“So eloquently stated, Blake. I fucking love the shit out of you too.” She grins, and it’s making me furious. “And when did you start thinking about getting a dog?”

“Okay, leave Freckles out of this for now.”

“Who?” She laughs and takes another drink of her beer. “You named the dog already?”

“I might have. I’m dabbling with the names still. It’s a work in progress. Anyway, I’m starting to feel like I’m having to beg you to marry me and frankly that’s not a thing I thought I’d ever be doing. I did not see myself having to argue about getting the woman I love and she says she loves me to share my life and my wealth.”

Rachelle rolls her eyes. “She loves you, Blake. It’s a sweet gesture, it really is. It’s just too soon.” She places the empty bottle on the coffee table and sits back.

“How long then?” I lean forward and look into her eyes as I wait for her answer.

“I was thinking that if everything went well, and we got along great and all that we could maybe get married for real in three years or so, maybe five. But a piece of paper isn’t a big concern to me.”

I sit back and my eyes must be as wide as they’ve ever been. “Rachelle, are you shitting me? I’m worth a lot of money. The piece of paper will make sure you get it.”

She stands up and says, “If anything ever happens to you. Yes, I’m aware of that.”

“And what about kids?” I ask as she walks to get herself another beer it looks like as she opens the fridge and pulls out another. “When did you think about adding them into our life?”

“I haven’t given it much thought.” She opens the beer and looks at me. “Sure you don’t want one?”

I shake my head. “So, give the kid thing some thought. How old do you want to be before you start having kids? I’d like to have them while I’m young enough to enjoy them. Hanging out with that kid at the children’s home got me thinking how much having kids can add to your life.”

Instead of drinking the beer, she sets it on the bar and taps her temple with her finger. “I don’t think I’ll be having time to raise kids for quite a few years.” She looks at me with a frown. “I’d like to open my own restaurant. Remember that conversation?”

“People do have kids and still manage to work, Rachelle. You love Pax, you know you’d love to have a baby.”

Her eyes go dark and I can see something is going through her mind and that’s probably a really bad thing. “I don’t think I’d make a very good mother. I really didn’t have a great example in that department. If it is kids you want, you might want to think about finding yourself another woman.”

“Rachelle,” I get up and walk towards her, but she turns her back to me and crosses her arms over her chest. “Don’t. Don’t do this.”

“Blake, this is all too fast. The whole thing. I have to think and I can’t do it around you.” She walks away and grabs her purse off the counter and goes to the door.

“Rachelle, don’t go. We have a lot to talk about.” I follow her to the door and can feel the cold radiating off her.

“Not now,” she says as she opens the door. “I can’t talk to you right now. I need to think.”

I take her by the shoulders and stop her from leaving. “Don’t go. I’ll shut up. I promise. Just stay here.”

Her head shakes, and she shrugs her shoulders. “I just need some time. I’m not the woman you seem to want. I’m not your normal, everyday mother and housewife. I don’t even know how to be that. You deserve a woman who wants the same things you do. I’m not saying I don’t want them. I am saying I don’t know how to be that woman.”

“Rachelle, leaving right now won’t solve a damn thing. Just stay here. If anything, I’ll leave.”

She pulls out of my grip and turns to look at me. “Blake, you stay. I just want a little time to think.”

My heart hurts and this is anything but what I thought would happen. “Rachelle, this isn’t a normal reaction to a proposal. You do realize that, don’t you?”

“Nothing about me is normal, Blake. You do realize that, don’t you?” Her head hangs, making her long, dark hair fall over her face, shielding it from anyone’s view.

I want to grab her and take her in my arms and make her stay. I want to pull all that has her unable to accept love and normalcy out of that pretty little head of hers.

“I wish you’d stay. We don’t have to talk about a damn thing, Rachelle.”

She stops and for a moment I think she might come back inside and stop this running thing she does so well. Then she shakes her head and keeps walking. “I’ll be back later.”

Well, maybe I won’t be here!

Rachelle

The sun is setting as I walk down the beach. My melancholy mood hasn’t changed. I wish Blake could really take things slow, but I guess it really isn’t in him to do it.

It really isn’t in me to hurry things along either. I suppose we’re meant to be together since we both come from such opposite places. Opposites attract so the saying goes.

I kick the sand with my bare feet and wish I could fix myself. Any other woman would’ve jumped up and down when they got a look at that big, beautiful ring Blake wanted to give me.

Not me though. Deep inside of me there was only one thought. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve the ring, the money, nor the man. They’re all wonderful gifts that I am sure to ruin.

The shield I’ve built around my heart to keep it protected is being taken down a pebble at a time by Blake. When he goes all out and rushes forward, they go right back into place.

I thought the pebbles were gone, but they must’ve been lying around, waiting for a big gush of sentiment to come at me. Blake has flooded me with gifts this last week and I took them all like a champ.

It surprised me that I allowed him to give me so much. I jumped right on the band wagon with him. We can learn to be rich together, I thought. I do want to make a profitable restaurant anyway. I may as well learn how to have money.

That’s how I convinced myself that it was okay to take what he was giving me. But the ring and his financial security was just a little too much for me. It would be damn nice to understand why that is.

I live in Los Angeles. I see gold diggers every day and know there’s a difference in them and rich people with genuine love and respect for one another. Blake and I could be that.

I respect the hell out of that man. Can’t really say I’ve ever thought so highly of anyone before him. He’s sweet, caring, generous, and faithful. Like a dog that you forget to feed and sometimes forget to bring in out of the cold, but he still loves you anyway. The moment you let him in he’s all happy and frolicking.

That’s Blake to a tee. I’ve left with no regard what so ever for his feelings and he’s taken me back every time and never made me pay for what I did to him.

This last week has been amazing. Not only has he treated me like a queen, but his personal attention to me has been out of this world. I even let him tie me to the bed one night and he made me so happy I did.

He spends time thinking about what will please me in so many ways. I know most men are all about what you can do for them in the bedroom, but Blake isn’t that way at all.

And here I am walking alone down the beach as the sun melts into the ocean, creating a stunning picture. My sweet man sits at my tiny apartment waiting for my return.

Not a very fair thing for someone who is as giving and loving as he is. He buys me a fantastic engagement ring and asks me to marry him and I go crazy and leave him alone.

Bet he never thought in a million years this would have been the outcome of all his planning.

It occurs to me that we were going to go to Vegas, and he’d asked Kip and Peyton to come along. I wonder if he was planning on us getting married tonight.

He most likely was, and I just went and fucked the whole thing up. Just because I don’t think I deserve good things.

I should go back and accept his proposal and bite my tongue to keep my idiot mouth shut. Once we’re married it will be too late to second guess anything.

It’s not the smartest thing I’ve ever contemplated doing before, but it’s not the most idiotic thing either.

A man jogs by me with a dog on a leash. The dog’s tail is wagging like crazy and it reminds me of Blake’s idea about us getting a puppy.

Blake is this happy-go-lucky guy and I’m Debbie Downer. He’s all, ‘let’s get married!’ I’m all, ‘But one day we might break up.’

Man, I’m a real fucking moron!

I pick up my pace as I head back to my car. I’m going to do it. If he’ll still have me, I’m going to tell him the answer is yes and that we should get our asses to Vegas and do this thing before my insanity catches up to me again.

It has to be a little bit of insanity after all. What woman in her right mind would look at that ring he had and his gorgeous face and rocking body and say, not now, sweetheart?

It’s been three hours that I’ve walked and I hope he’s not really pissed at me for being gone so long. Perhaps I should find him a puppy so he can’t be mad at me. He seems the type if you gave him a puppy he’d get over any anger he had in him and turn into a mush ball over the thing.

But then again, that might be something he wants us to pick out together as a couple, as a married couple. I open the car door and climb inside of the beautiful car he bought me and think that I have to learn how to hold my tongue and gauge my reactions to good news.

It seems I have the opposite reactions that most people have. That’s something I have to change. I’m making a vow to myself right here and now.

No more Debbie Downer!

I’m going to follow Blake’s lead and be a happy-go-lucky gal.

Well, maybe not a gal. A happy-go-lucky young woman.

There, that’s better!

Blake

For the first hour I waited patiently. Rachelle has issues and I am no stranger to them. But when the second hour came I got a little hot under the collar and the third one came and I told myself to get the fuck out of there.

With a note that told her I wanted to get married or get on with my life, I feel like she knows where I stand. It’s been far too long and I’m ready to start this marriage. Three to five years is too far away for me. I’m no fool and know she’ll never agree with me.

I left and I am not going to allow myself to look back. I’m done!

It’s obvious to me that I have to cut Kip and Max out of my life as well, if I am to get Rachelle out and keep her out. I can’t take her constant rejection. No one should subject themselves to what she dishes out.

I know I’ll hurt for a while, but it will heal just like any other life changing and devastating wound. People lose real parts of their bodies and live. The part that has been pulverized in me isn’t even a real piece of flesh and blood, just feelings.

I’ll live. Don’t know if I’ll ever love again, but I’ll live.

The ring I took back to the jewelry store and had to hug the young woman who sold it to me as she seemed more upset than I am. Luckily, Kip and Peyton were out so I was able to get into my helicopter and take off without having to get into things with them.

I know they’d talk me into staying around and talking to Rachelle. That would only delay the inevitable. She doesn’t want a piece of paper keeping us together and her taken care of.

Well, I can’t be in a relationship and be selfish. I’m a giver, a person who makes sure the people they love are well cared for and know they’re loved.

I guess I’m a real bastard!

My cell phone lights up and plays the wedding march, the song I had just set for Rachelle’s ring tone. I pick it up and hit the reject button. Let her see how it feels.

I can’t get home fast enough. Once there I will start my life over.

A life without her!

And with that in mind I toss my cell phone out of the helicopter. Anyone who has that number is behind me. Forward is the only way to go now.

Rachelle

I cannot believe he sent my call straight to voicemail. I sent him a text with the word, yes, written in capital letters and he still hasn’t responded. I pick up my phone and make sure he knows what that means.

-That is a yes to the question. I want to marry you, Blake, please call or come back. I love you!!!!-

Time is passing like molasses and I am in agony not knowing where he is or if he’s okay. It’s nearing ten o’clock as I call Peyton to see if they’ve heard from him.

“Where are you guys?” Peyton asks as she answers the call.

“That’s an odd way to answer the phone, Peyt. I’m at my apartment.”

“Then why is the car Blake borrowed here and his chopper gone? I thought you two were heading to Vegas this evening. Why are you still here?”

“His chopper is gone? Shit!”

Peyton sighs. “What did you do now?”

“He came home with a gorgeous engagement ring and asked me to marry him and I freaked out and ended up leaving for a few hours. But I came to my senses and came back to accept his proposal, only he was gone.” I pace as I think what it is I need to do.

I can’t let the greatest thing to ever happen to me get away!

“Wow! That’s big. You know he may be done, sweetie. I mean, that’s a pretty big thing you did there. He’s such a sweetheart too, Shelly. I can’t imagine how hurt he must have been.”

“Damn it! I know! I’m an ass! Peyton, if I lose him I may as well die! God, help me!” I fall on the sofa as my eyes fill with tears. “I don’t know what to do. I called and sent him a text accepting his proposal and nothing. It’s more than him not wanting to talk to me. I’m afraid something might have happened. Now that you’ve told me he’s in his chopper I’m really afraid. Can you call him? Maybe he’ll answer if Kip calls.”

I hear her shouting at Kip and he gets close enough I can hear him over the phone. His thick Australian accent fills my ear. “What, love?”

Peyton gives him the run down as I listen and to hear her say it makes it really sink in what I’ve done to him. Ass isn’t even close to the word I feel like. A total piece of shit who doesn’t deserve to even breathe the same air someone as wonderful as Blake breaths is what I am.

Kip huffs and says, “Ouch, that’s painful. I’ll give ‘em a ring.”

“Okay, he’s making the call, Shelly.”

I wait and listen and after a minute Kip tells her he didn’t answer. “I’m calling Max then,” I say. “Bye. If you hear from him let me know, Peyton.”

“I will, bye.”

I call Max and Lexi answers the phone.

Fantastic, I get to tell my terrible story again and re-live that shit!

After many gasps and sighs, Lexi says, “Well, hibbetty, bibetty, Shell. That’s a bunch of terrible things, isn’t it? I tell you what that’s a heap more than Max ever put me through. Oh my, poor Blake. He must be near suicidal.”

“Lex,” I groan. “I’m really getting worried about him. Do you think Max can try to call him? He wouldn’t answer Kip’s call.”

She yells for Max and he listens to the tale as only Lexi can add all kinds of silly words to it and make me nearly laugh if I wasn’t so damn worried. Then he mumbles something and the next thing I know Lexi is telling me he wants to talk to me.

“Rachelle, what the hell are you thinking?” he shouts at me.

I cringe as I’ve never been yelled at by Max and he’s super intimidating suddenly. “Max, I’m just…”

“No, I don’t want to hear it. No more excuses. A great man asks you to marry him and you act like he did something awful to you. This is enough out of you. I’m not going to get him to talk to you just so you can tear another chunk out of his kind and generous heart. Do you understand me?”

“Max, I didn’t mean…”

His voice is booming as he says, “You didn’t mean to hurt him. Yeah, I know your same old song and dance. Well this time you’re going to have to figure things out on your own. You really don’t want me to call him because my advice to him is going to be to forget about you. You are no good for him.”

“Max, that’s not true. I am good for him. I just got confused and afraid that I don’t deserve him, but the truth is I can be good for him. We are great together and it’s just my insecurities that get in the way. I can control them if I try hard enough, I know I can.” I plop down of the sofa and look at the ceiling.

“If he’s smart, he won’t accept another apology from you. Do yourself a favor, Rachelle. Get off the couch and go into your little kitchen and take out a wine glass.”

“I really don’t think a drink right now is what I want,” I say but get up and do what Max is telling me to for some damn reason.

“I don’t want you to talk, just do what I say,” he commands me.

I take a wine glass out of the cabinet. “I have one, now what?”

“Drop it on the floor.”

“Max, that’s...”

“Drop the fucking glass, Rachelle!” he shouts.

I drop the glass and it breaks into pieces. “Okay, I did it. Now what?”

“Do you see how it’s shattered in a way that you can’t put it back together?” he asks.

I look at the pieces. Some are big and could be glued, but other parts are smashed into sharp shards while others are pulverized and couldn’t ever be fixed. “Yes, I see it’s destroyed. And now I guess you want me to clean up the mess, right?”

“No, I want you to tell it you’re sorry,” he says with a much calmer tone to his deep voice.

“I’m sorry?” I ask with a huff.

“Just say it.”

“I’m sorry, wine glass, for breaking you.”

He sighs. “So what happened?”

“What do you mean? It’s got to be cleaned up now.” I shake my head at his ridiculous idea and what the hell it was meant to teach me.

“It’s still broken isn’t it Shell? Saying you’re sorry didn’t fix it, did it?”

His lesson zooms into my brain and I get a knot in my throat. Telling Blake, I’m sorry isn’t going to fix what I’ve done. Too many times I’ve dropped him and this last time was just one too many.

I swallow hard and try not to let the tears that are threatening to fall sound in my voice. “Max, is it too late?”

“What do you think, Shell? How many more times do you think he can take you doing this to him? All I have to say is that you’re on your own. You’ll have to dig deep down and think about what it is you can do to make things up to him and make sure you don’t do this to him anymore. If you can’t find that in you then leave the guy alone. He’s too good a man to be broken by you.” Max takes a deep breath. “And I want you to know this doesn’t mean I don’t care about and love you, Shelly. I do, but you have to stop this thing you’re doing to him.”

“Thanks, Max. I’ll think about everything. I appreciate your honesty. I love you too and I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow. Bye.”

“Bye, Shelly.”

How in the hell am I supposed to fix this?

Blake

Her lips taste sweet as I take them in a deep kiss. Her arms run around me and over my back. She loves the muscles on my back. I love the way her soft skin feels against my back and a chill runs through me as she lightly rakes her nails over it.

I run my tongue over hers and it feels like I’ve died and gone to Heaven. The way her breath is moving in and out of her lungs I can feel as I hold her tight to me. I pull my mouth from hers and kiss her all the way down until I find her ample breast and pull it into my mouth, licking and sucking as she moans with pleasure.

Her pleasure is all I can think about. Making her feel good, no not good, great, fantastic, that’s how I want her to feel. She’s so special and precious and she’s mine. I lie her back on the bed and move my body to cover hers. Her legs run back and forth over the back of mine and she spreads them in an invitation.

I don’t want to give in to her just yet. I want to make her wait a little, feel a little more of just us, skin to skin. Pulling back from her, I look at her and run my hands over her beautiful body.

She looks up at me with those dark blue eyes, shining in the dim light and looking at me like I hung the moon. I would for her if I could. I’d go to Hell and back for this woman.

Only allowing my fingertips to come in contact with her velvety smooth skin, I start at her face. I trace the delicate outline, running the tips over her smooth jaw line then down her neck, dipping them into the hollow at the very bottom of her throat.

Her eyes bore into mine and I have to look away for fear I’ll lose the focus I want to give to her body. Over her collarbone I trail my fingers then to her shoulders. The creamy colored skin begs me to kiss them and I lean over and press my lips to the smooth surface there.

My body is aching to do more, but I hold back what I want to please her, to make her feel special, and loved. My fingers roam down her arms and I briefly intertwine our fingers and I look up to find her smiling sweetly.

Letting them go, I continue my journey and run my fingers over her tight stomach. Her body quivers and I run my fingers lower. Over her little nub I make a brief stop to tap it a time or two then I move on down, inside her thighs and then down her legs all the way to her toes.

I leave a kiss on the top of each foot and get off the bed, standing beside it and looking down at her. She is perfection from the top of her beautiful head full of long, black hair to the last pink painted pinky toe. She is perfect and extraordinary and she is mine.

Mine to love, mine to cherish, mine to protect, and mine forever and always. She holds her arms out to me and beckons me to come to her. I lean over and take her soft, pink lips with mine and feel like I might cry for some reason.

She’s all I want, all I need, but for some reason my heart is filled with an ache I don’t understand. Moving my body over hers, I press it against hers so I can feel her beneath me. It’s not enough and I take a handful of her hair as I kiss her hard.

My body shakes with emotion. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can feel her but it’s not enough. Her body arches up to mine, but I can’t seem to get inside her. It’s like my dick is somewhere else.

I grind against her body and kiss her even harder, but I’m left feeling empty. In frustration I yank my mouth off hers and roll off her. Looking up at the ceiling, I can see little white lights glowing in it and they get bigger and bigger until I can see nothing but white, bright light.

I can’t breathe! I can’t see!

Air finally fills my lungs and I sit bolt upright. Blinking my eyes, I find I’m in bed at my house and alone. I look over as I try to catch my breath and see the place next to me is empty.

Then I remember that she’s not here with me in Lubbock. She’s not mine anymore. I tell myself to calm down and lie back. This is only the first night, it will get better, it will get easier.

Please let it get better!

Rachelle

I lie on my sofa and look at the ceiling as my mind is numb. The front door opens and Blake is standing there, dripping with water as the rain pounds down on him.

I stay where I am, afraid if I move he’ll disappear. He comes inside, not bothering to close the door and strips away his clothes with each step he takes, his blue, brown eyes never leaving mine.

My hand runs over my skin and I realize I have no clothes in either, but I don’t recall getting undressed. He’s on me in an instant. His wet body all over mine and he slides over me then he’s inside me as his mouth takes mine in a heated kiss.

He grinds into me and I arch up to meet his deep thrusts. His hands roam all over my body and he’s igniting sparks all through me. His kiss is so hard and demanding. I kiss him back as he thrusts into me.

Blake takes a breast in one hand, squeezing it and tweaking the hard nipple. His mouth leaves mine, and he takes the breast, sucking it hard, making my stomach tighten with each long pull he makes on it.

With no control I groan at the sweet sensation and writhe under his body. Long, deep strokes he makes and I’m hot with a need for him I’ve never experienced before.

He’s pounding into me and his hands are everywhere caressing my body, but it’s not enough. I yell with the empty feeling and arch up to get him to press harder into me.

Moving as fast and hard as possible, he strokes, but it’s not enough. I twist my head and wiggle until I’m away from him. I turn to my side and look at him as he fades away.

His eyes are the last thing I see and they’re full of pain.

I sit up and gasp as I take in air and realize it was all just a dream.

The lights in my apartment are all still on as I fell asleep on the couch. This is not how things end for us. I never want things to end for us. Not ever.

It’s obvious this is something I have to fix and I can’t let much time go by before I fix things. With every minute that goes by without Blake knowing how I truly feel about him, I fear he fades further away from me. If I wait too long, he’ll be gone for good.

Blake

It’s two in the afternoon, the little crappy bar I used to go to should be open and I can drink the day away while I whine to the bartender about how crappy my life is turning out.

I pull my truck into the parking lot and see three cars there.

Good, I’m not completely alone in my misery.

The air smells of stale beer, peanuts, and cigarette smoke. Two people sit together at one little table with a couple of mugs of beer between them. They speak in hushed whispers as I open the door, letting in an unwelcomed stream of sunlight.

I quickly shut the door as the three inside shield their eyes from the damning light. “Sorry,” I say quickly.

Behind the bar stands a woman, maybe fifty with fading red hair with a fair amount of gray in it. “How you doin’ today, partner?” she asks me.

I take a stool in front if her at the bar and answer, “Terrible. What do you have that can cure a broken heart?”

She fills a mug with draft beer and smiles as she pushes it in front of me. “This one is on the house, partner.”

I nod and smile. I’m going to leave her one hell of a tip before this night is over. I take a long drink and feel the cold as it flows down my throat and into my stomach. “How long do you think it’ll take before it takes the pain away?”

“Depends. How deep is the pain?” She winks at me as she runs a white cloth over a shot glass.

“Very,” I answer. “Tell me, do you know a lot about abandonment issues? I’m sorry, how rude of me. My name is Blake, and yours is?”

“Tanya. Nice to meet you Blake. Abandonment issues huh? Well, most people have them, at least to a certain extent anyway. You see even great parents can’t always be with their kids entirely as they get through those young years.”

“My girlfriend was given up when she was three. Her parents are both crazy as shit, her father lives under a bridge, so I do mean legitimately crazy, okay?” I pause to take another drink.

“Under a bridge, huh? Keep going,” she says as she takes the peanuts that are on the bar in front of me and throws them away, replacing them with some fresh out of the glass jar. “I’m putting out the fresh peanuts for you, Blake.”

I take one and pop it in my mouth. “Thanks, Tanya. So like I was sayin’ she comes from nutty stock and has some deep issues. I guess I’m an idiot because I thought I could love her so much she’d stop being a crazy person with a load of insecurities.”

“How long have you known this person, Blake?”

“A while. We’ve had bouts where we weren’t together, but we always came back to what we have. It’s special, different. When I first laid eyes on her I just knew she was the one. And I know she loves me, but she’s the type who leaves when she feels pretty much anything at all. I have this feeling she doesn’t like to feel anything too deeply.”

Tanya stops wiping the bar down and looks at me as I suck down the rest of the beer. “So what do you want with her then?”

Her question has me struck dumb. I think about it as she pours me another one and places it in front of me. “I love her. That’s all I have.” I shrug my shoulders. “Does that make sense?”

“I hear it all the time, Blake. All the time. People can make each other crazy as hell, but it’s that love thing that keeps them giving it another shot. So where is this crazy chic now?”

“Los Angeles, and I’m not going back there no matter what. So if you hear me talking about going back to make her see the light about us and what we have, just tie me up somewhere until I sober up and get back into my right mind.” I take a drink and shake my head. “My heart can sometimes overrule my brain. I need to use my brain a lot more though. The old ticker has taken a beating and isn’t up to making any decisions.”

“Will do,” she says as the door opens up and I go temporarily blind.

“Hi, Mom. Need any help?” I hear a girls’ voice ask.

“You could sweep and mop for me, Tilly.” Tanya says.

The door closes and a tall, willowy blonde walks past me. Her arm brushes against my back and I lean forward to get away from her. My body tenses as she turns back and smiles at me.

“Sorry.” She goes behind the bar and kisses her mother’s cheek. “I just got back from Dallas. The shoot took forever. Did you miss me?”

“You bet,” Tanya says with a smile. “I missed not having to pick up things you left lying around. I missed going to bed at a reasonable hour without your music keeping me awake. Yeah, I’d say I missed you. When do you think this modeling thing will start making you enough money to get your own place, Tilly?”

The girl, who must be in her early twenties, looks at me and grins. “I think my mother is ready for me to leave the nest.”

I raise my eyebrows at her and take a drink. “My parents never wanted me to leave so I have no idea.”

Tanya laughed. “I don’t really want you to leave, Tilly. Just clean up after yourself now and then.”

Tilly walked back around the bar and sat next to me. “So, what’s up with you, why you here drinking so early in the day?”

“He’s in love with a cuckoo bird with abandonment issues. Leave the man alone, Tilly. The broom and mop are in the back in the closet.”

Tilly rolls her light blue eyes at me and gets up. “I’ll do the chores, Mom. But then you owe me a couple of drinks.”

I look back at Tanya behind the bar and think to myself that the fruit fell pretty far from that tree. Her daughter is gorgeous and Tanya doesn’t look a thing like her. “She must look like her father,” I say without realizing it’s come out of my mouth.

“I don’t know. I never met her father.”

I choke on my beer and look up at her. “How in the hell is that?”

She laughs. “She’s adopted, Blake. I got her when she was seven. She had some problems. Maybe talking to her can help you understand your girl a little better.”

Maybe it could, but do I even want to understand? Maybe it’s better just to try my best to forget about Rachelle.

Rachelle

I called and texted Blake again, hoping the light of day had him not quite so mad at me that he’d ignore me all together. No such luck though as the call went straight to voicemail.

My brain is struggling with what I should do. I’m pretty sure he’s back home in Lubbock, but not one hundred percent as Max won’t help me find that out. One little phone call to his brother-in-law who lives next door to Blake and is now the guy Blake calls his right-hand man, whatever that means, could let me know for sure if he’s home.

It’s getting to be nearly noon, and I’d like to be on my way to wherever he is by now, but with no real clue I’m stuck here waiting and wondering and worrying about him.

Now that I know how he felt all those times I left without telling him a thing. I will never do that to another person as long as I live.

It’s excruciating!

My phone rings and I jump and grab it up off the table. It’s Lexi and I hurry to answer. “Hey, Lex.”

“I can’t talk long and I’m hiding that I’m calling you from Max, but I wanted you to know that I called my brother, and he said Blake made it home last night. So he’s alive. Max did try to call him this morning to be sure he was alright, but Blake didn’t accept his call either.”

“I wonder why he’s cutting everyone out,” I say as I step into my shoes. “It’s not like him.”

“Max thinks it’s because he’s really going to try to get over you. Are you going to just sit back and let that happen, Shelly?”

“What would you do?” I ask her, knowing full well that even though Max tore me a new one last night that Lexi, and he went through some bad shit before they finally got it all straight.

“You don’t want to repeat any of my mistakes. Make your own, or better yet, don’t. Just find the guy and tell him you love him and marry his ass.”

“Find him, huh? Thanks for the advice, Lexi. And thanks for letting me know he’s okay, I really appreciate it.”

“Max is coming, bye and remember this is our little secret, Shell.”

The call ended, and I envisioned Max catching her in the act and her coming up with some crazy story that gave too many details, letting him know she was hiding something from him.

Okay, so now I know he’s in Lubbock, but how do I get to him in less than the two days it will take me to drive there? And I need to make a stop at my grandparent’s house too before I get to him.

Time to get a plan together and get moving on it!

“So, let me get this right,” I say as I pass the ketchup over to Tilly. I got hungry and ordered Tilly, Tanya, and me some food from the little café next door. “You’re only twenty-five and have been married twice and are about to get engaged you think to another guy.”

Tilly takes a giant bite of her cheeseburger and nods. A little mustard got left on her cheek and I take a napkin and wipe it away. Her tongue darts out to lick it off, and she smiles. “Thanks, and yes. It’s all about the first part of love that I crave. When it gets all settled in and the men start acting like themselves, you know farting in front of me and scratching their private parts, that’s when I have to end it.”

“Really? So, if I do get back together with Rachelle, I should never do those things in front of her? That’s got to be a little hard to keep up forever. Don’t you look back and miss either of your husbands?” I ask her as she takes a drink of her beer.

Tanya laughs and dips a fry in ketchup. “They were bastards, both of them. Tilly here likes the bad boys and when I say bad, I mean the kind that don’t mind tossing a woman around a bit and trying to keep them beat down.”

I look Tilly over and have a hard time believing someone as pretty as she is would allow a man to treat her that way. “Come on, not you, Tilly. Say it ain’t so. I can’t imagine a girl like you putting up with that crap. And in the end you left them over a gas issue instead of the fact they hit you.” I shake my head and take another bite of my burger.

Maybe my girl isn’t the craziest chic on the planet after all.

I shake my head to rid it of the words, my girl. I’m trying to move on after all.

Tilly doesn’t even look embarrassed as she says, “I had it coming. Mom doesn’t understand.”

“You what? No you did not just say that! Tell me what you did to make those ass holes hit you.” I pick up my beer and down it to get my blood to stop boiling.

Tilly looks at me and says, “Okay, the first husband I married after knowing him two weeks. I was eighteen and thought I needed to get married and start a family. I know I was stupid so stop looking at me like that, Dad!”

“Okay, as long as you realize that, young lady,” I say and gesture for her to continue.

“Well, after a few months together, I got this notion that I might have rushed into the marriage thing and I took a pregnancy test and made sure I wasn’t pregnant then went to the free clinic and got my ass on birth control.”

“All without telling me a thing,” Tanya interjects.

I shake my head and frown at Tilly. “Go on.”

“Well, I couldn’t let Bob know I was taking the pills, ‘cause he wanted to knock me up real bad. He was at me all the time and confused that I was still not pregnant. One day he got the idea I was taking the pills and ransacked the house until he found them. He knocked me around pretty good, but do you see how I brought that on myself?”

Shock runs through me as I can’t believe this woman actually believes she deserved that. “Tilly, no I can’t see how you brought that on yourself.”

Tanya puts another beer in front of us and says, “See, the issues can be really different. She thinks it’s okay for men to physically punish her. I never laid a hand on her, but she feels like a man can. I don’t know what to do with her.”

“Well, I should’ve talked to him, not went on and done that without his consent.” Tilly takes a drink of the fresh beer. “But this new guy, he’s a lot better. He’s going to be in here later on and you’ll see, he’s a keeper.”

“So, what about the adoption thing?” I ask Tanya and look back at Tilly too. “How did that work out and was there a father at any time, Tanya?”

“When I first got her I was married, but that ended a few years into it. He took off, and we never heard from him again. I raised her by myself. Maybe that’s a part of the reason she makes poor choices in men.” Tanya moves to the other end of the bar to take someone else’s order.

“And how did you like being adopted?” I ask her.

“It was great to get out of foster care. My mother is a saint. I had nightmares for years and when I hit puberty I was a nightmare. But she kept me. No matter how bad I was, she kept me.” She takes the last bite of her burger and I can see a little bit of what Rachelle has deep in her eyes.

The look that says she’s not worthy of love. It hits my heart hard and I think I might have made a mistake in leaving. So I ask Tilly, “Did you ever really love any of them?”

After dabbing at her mouth with a napkin she answers, “Blake, let me let you in on a little secret that might save you a lot of heartache over this girl. She can’t love you. You see, no matter how much I try, I can’t really accept myself. I often feel like a stranger in this body, detached from it at times.”

“You think she’s like that?” I ask.

“The things you’ve told us says she is. So, if you want to try to build a life with this girl you have to understand you’ll be building on a pile of sand that can blow away at any moment.” She pats my back and looks at me. “It’s not her fault, it’s just the way it is.”

“Does it have to be that way?” I ask and hope there’s some positive response.

She nods. “Do yourself a favor and stop the cycle now. It’ll take a little time, but she’s damaged, too damaged for a guy as great as you are. I mean, you’re a real sweetheart and a girl like her or me would break you in no time.”

“I’m not weak,” I argue. “I can take a lot.”

“She will make you weak. You can stand up to it for a while longer if you want, but in the end she will leave you a shell of your former self. I think that would be a crime.”

“Yeah,” I say then take a gulp of beer. “You’re probably right. Best to forget about her. I think I need something a little bit stronger than this to erase her memory though.”

Tilly smiles. “Good. You should just get drunk tonight and take a cab home and in the morning you’ll feel like shit and never want to feel that way again. It’s cauterizing the wound. It burns at first, but then it heals, leaving a scar, but it’s over and done with.”

I’m not positive that any of this is healthy, but I’m going to try it anyway.

Four shots of whiskey later and getting into the prime of the night time crowd, I’m dancing with all the pretty ladies in here and buying rounds for the whole bar. I’m living it up tonight. Tomorrow I’ll pay for it, but tonight I’m living like I don’t have a care in the world.

My body is pretty numb as I hold a tall, slightly heavy woman in my arms and slow dance with her. I hiccup and she giggles. It makes her body jiggle and I kind of want to puke.

“So what is it you do for a living, honey?” she whispers in my ear.

“Not a damn thing. I’m filthy, stinkin’ rich. I’m about to start wasting away my money on booze and broads though.” I laugh and hiccup again.

She pulls her head off my shoulder and looks at me. “Rich? Really?”

“That caught your attention, I see,” I slur and smile.

“So how rich?” Her green eyes go all sparkly as the song ends.

“Thanks for the dance,” I slur and let her out of my sloppy embrace.

I turn to walk away and her hand slips into mine. She comes along with me to the little table I got to myself and after I sit down I find her plump ass on my lap.

She licks her thick lips that are too red and says, “We should take this party to your place, handsome.”

“No can do, lady. I’m just sowing some wild oats tonight. No hanky panky for me. No sir, none for me.” I reach out to find my glass empty and wonder who drank my shot.

I can barely see the bar from my seat way in the back and push at the lady’s shoulders. She gets up and frowns. “You sure? I can be a lot of fun.”

“I’m sure.” I stumble my way to the bar and find Tanya frowning at me.

“Why the long face?” I ask.

“I think you’ve had enough, Blake. I’m going to get Tilly to drive you home. She quit drinking a few hours ago,” Tanya tells me.

I sit on the bar stool. “Fine. But just so you know I am nowhere near drunk.”

“Oh, you past drunk two shots ago,” Tanya says as she laughs.

The door opens, and a monster sized man walks in. He looks at Tanya and says, “Where’s your daughter?”

“Washing some glasses for me in the back. You can go on back there if you want,” she tells the guy who looks like a real jack ass.

“You her boyfriend?” I ask him.

He looks at me and frowns. “Who wants to know?”

“Me, dumb ass,” I say and stand up. “Duh, who the fuck asked ya?” I look at Tanya. “Another real winner we got here.”

She’s shaking her head and looking really concerned for some odd reason. Then I feel my feet leave the floor and my shirt is in the monster guy’s hands. “Who the fuck are you?” he asks me.

“A concerned citizen. You can put me down now,” I slur and notice that I can’t really feel my body.

“Put him down, Spike,” Tanya tells him.

I find my feet back on the ground, though if the truth be told, I still feel a little floaty. “Spike!” I laugh. “That would be your name.”

“Okay, that’s enough. I’m taking this idiot outside and teaching him a lesson,” Spike says.

“No you’re not,” Tanya tells him.

“I don’t mind. I can take care of myself.” I roll up one sleeve and make a muscle. “See, I work out a lot and I can take this pussy on.”

“What did you call me?” the monster man asks me.

“I called you a pussy,” I mumble and take a step towards him.

A female voice shrieks my name and I turn to find Tilly running out to me. “Blake, what are you doing? He’ll kill you!”

“Stay out of this, Tilly,” Spike tells her and the next thing I know she’s stopped running towards us and looks kind of pale.

“Don’t!” she screams.

Her eyes are so wide and she looks afraid. I turn back to look at what she’s looking at and find the monster man holding quite a large knife and his eyes are dark. Then he opens his mouth and says, “You’re fucking dead, jack ass.”

Part 10 Happy Go Lucky

Rachelle

After stopping by my grandparents to pick up the set of wedding rings my grandmother’s parents left her, I’m on Kip’s jet, landing in Lubbock at ten o’clock at night. I’m hoping to find Blake at home and make everything right with us.

Finally!

I hurry off the plane and rent a car and off to Blake’s I go. I know there’s a huge chance he’ll tell me to fuck off, and I am prepared for that.

Who am I kidding, I am totally not prepared for that and may fall completely apart if he rejects me. I would understand why he would do it, but it would kill me.

A few minutes later I’m in front of his house and his truck is gone.

Shit!

My heart skips a beat and I have to fight the urge to end my journey for love and happiness. It’s only one setback I tell myself. The defeatist attitude I can have my heart seems to stomp out, and it tells me to keep looking for him.

I think of some of the love stories I’ve made myself read lately and how the heroes would go to the moon and back to get to their love and I vow to do just that. After all I’ve put Blake through, I have to work hard to fix what I’ve done to him.

I keep on driving and will just have to look for his truck. He may be at the store or getting something to eat or God forbid, at a bar. If he’s in a depressed mood which I’m sure he is, he may be getting shit-faced somewhere and going to drive drunk. I have to get to him before he does something crazy like that.

Not far from his house I see a crappy little bar and there’s his truck. I wish he wasn’t in there. I pull up next to his tall truck and take in a deep breath. I may walk in there and find him wrapped around another woman and I have no idea of what I’ll do if I see that.

I’ll have to try hard not to beat her ass!

The music is loud and I can hear it as I get out of the rental car. My heart is pounding.

Please let him be alone, drowning his sorrows in some corner booth!

Taking in one more deep breath, I push the door open hard, like I’m about to enter into a saloon in the old west and may find myself facing a fight.

Blake

The blade of the large knife the oaf is holding way too close to my stomach shines as the dim bar lights hit it. Tilly is right behind me and that fact is just making this monster sized man even madder.

“Tilly, get the hell out of the way and let me deal with this jack ass,” Spike growls at her.

She doesn’t do as he says and instead says, “Spike, don’t do this. You just got out of prison. You don’t want to go back.”

“Prison!” I find myself yelping. “You never said anything about him being in prison. For what?”

The way Spike’s dark eyes narrow has me wishing I’d never said a word. “Just how much did you two talk, Tilly? And what else did you do with this dead man?”

“Not a lot. See, he didn’t know you went to prison for killing a man in a bar fight. That proves we didn’t talk very much.”

“Fuck me! Really? A bar fight?” I say as I try to take a step back, but Tilly is right there, and I’d have to push her out of the way to retreat to moderate safety, and that would look really bad.

Spike is standing right in front of the door and I close my eyes and say a little prayer to let someone walk in and knock him out of the way. Spike laughs.

“Praying before you die, prick?”

I open my eyes and am about to say something witty as a small amount of light fills the frame of the door and someone pushes it with a great amount of force. Spike comes flying at me as I sidestep him and quickly turn back to grab his arm, the one with the knife at the end of it.

Thanks to all my working out, I’m kind of buff and easily pull the knife out of his grasp as he fumbles to regain his balance. I twist his arm back and face plant him on the bar.

“Blake!”

I turn my head to find a beautiful young woman with my name on her lips and nearly fall down as I see that it’s Rachelle.

“Rachelle, what in the hell are you doing here?” I ask with most likely a very surprised expression.

“I came to get you and drag you to Vegas to marry my stupid ass.” She crosses her arms in front of her and looks at the large man I have pinned to the bar. “A new friend?”

Tilly pops around me and says, “No, he isn’t. Look Blake, let him up, I’ll take care of Spike.”

Though I really don’t want to let the man up, I feel that I should so I can wrap the woman I love in my arms and let her take me to Vegas. I look at Tilly. “You can’t handle this man, Tilly.” I glance around and find another large guy and shout, “Hey, you.”

He points at himself and mouths, ‘me?’

“Yeah, you.” I say as I nod my head. “Can you come and make sure this guy stays put while I get the fuck out of here?”

He nods and makes his way to me. He takes the position I vacate, holding Spike down and I finally wrap Rachelle up in my arms. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

Out we walk towards my truck. “We should hurry,” Rachelle says. “I doubt that guy is going to be able to keep the monster sized man held that long.”

Knowing she’s right, I hurry along and open the driver’s side door of my truck and lift her up to get in. She slides over to the middle and I get in. Turning the truck on, I look over at her, suddenly very sober.

“I’m glad to see you, Rachelle.”

Her smile fills my heart and I can’t wait to make this woman mine.

As we pull out of the parking lot, I drape my arm around her narrow shoulders and pull her close to me, leaving a kiss on the side of her head. She smiles up at me and says, “You really do seem glad to see me.”

“I really am glad to see you. I found myself second guessing the decision to leave Los Angeles a lot.” I squeeze her a little as I feel so happy I can hold her again.

“I deserved it, Blake. I’m sorrier than I’ve ever been in my entire life about anything. I hope one day you can forgive the stupid girl I am.” She looks away and frowns. “I tried to call and texted you a lot.”

“I tossed my phone,” I tell her. “I thought I should drop you and all our friends if I was to truly get over you. It proved impossible to stop thinking about you though. I’m pretty damn sure I would’ve been going back to find you tomorrow. And I accept your apology, Rachelle. And please don’t call yourself stupid, you are anything but that, baby.”

She smiles and pulls something out of her purse and they glimmer in her palm under the dashboard lights. “I stopped in Round Rock and got my great-grandparents’ wedding rings. They aren’t fancy, just plain gold bands, but I’d like us to use them to get married tonight. If you’re up to it, and still want me, that is.”

“I still want you! Don’t think I don’t.” I pause though as I don’t want her to feel like she has to marry me. “Rachelle, I don’t want to push you into something you’re not ready for.”

“I am ready.” She looks back at me with a frown covering her beautiful face. “Blake, I need to do this. I need you in my life, permanently. I want you like I never knew was possible. You’re right about having the security that goes along with marriage. I want that, I want what you want to provide for me, for our family we’ll have one day.”

Her words fall on my ears like snowflakes in December. Light, and beautiful and something I’ve been waiting for.

Rachelle

Straight back to the airport we went and got on Kip’s jet. Thankfully, Blake accepted my apology and agreed to get married tonight in Vegas. Kip, Peyton, Max, and Lexi are on their way there as we speak and we’re all going to meet up at this little wedding chapel.

Blake keeps kissing me here and there, murmuring how much he loves me as I sit on his lap on the plane. My arms wrapped around his neck, my face is buried in his broad chest. I can’t seem to get close enough to him.

With the privacy of the jet’s cabin I pull back and look at Blake. His blue, brown eyes gaze into mine and he smiles at me. “Thank you for coming to get me. I guess I never should’ve left L.A. That was kind of stupid of me.”

I press my finger to his lips. “Let’s leave the past and any mistakes or dumb things we did to each other there. I only want to move forward with you, Blake.”

I move my finger from his lips and replace it with mine. His hands roam over my back as he kisses me back. His tongue rolling over mine and we both moan.

My insides catch fire and I suddenly want him really bad. I turn on his lap and straddle him. His erection soon presses to my soft core. I grind against him and he suddenly pulls his mouth from mine.

“Does that little door at the back of the cabin lead to a bedroom?” he asks me.

“Yeah, I snooped around on my way to Lubbock. Wanna go in there?”

He gets up, holding me in his strong arms and takes me to the little bedroom. Playfully, he tosses me on the bed. “Strip.”

I giggle and get on my knees and begin to unbutton my shirt. Off it comes and I reach back and unhook my bra as Blake watches me. Once my breasts are loose he holds his hand up.

“Wait just a minute.” Blake leans over me and takes one of my breasts in his mouth and gently sucks it, making me wet immediately.

I run my hand down and press it to his erection his pants still keep from me. The button I find and open it, then move the zipper down and run my hand inside, running it over the soft skin, covering his rock hard dick I’m craving.

As I run my hand up and down the long length, Blake sucks and nips at my breast. I moan his name and it makes him suck harder, sending little jolts of electricity straight to my pussy.

I feels so damn good I just might orgasm with just this. His hands move over my body and one slips between us to run over me. I find myself shaking with need.

He pulls back and smiles at me. “Let’s just hurry up and get rid of these clothes.”

I nod in agreement and he stands up, shucking his clothes as I finish taking mine off, tossing them to the floor.

His body is so damn hot and I can’t believe he’s about to become my husband. I crawl backwards as he comes towards me. Lying my head on one of the fluffy pillows I stare into his eyes.

“I love you,” he tells me then his lips are on mine and he’s kissing me so softly I nearly want to cry. He pulls back and I see a shimmer in his eyes. “I really do love you Rachelle.”

“I love you, Blake.” My voice is quivering with raw emotion.

His hand cups the back of my neck as he kisses me again. The sweet kiss soon goes hard as he presses his body to mine. I want him to fill me with his hard dick, but he doesn’t.

One hand runs down and he runs his finger over my clit, making me arch up for more. Expertly he moves his finger up and down the folds which are becoming intensely hot. He dips into me only a little ways and it serves only to torture me.

I grind up to him and his smile I can feel as he kisses me. He pulls back, his lips grazing mine as he says, “What do you want, Rachelle?”

“You,” I moan. “I want you inside me, Blake.”

With one hand on each hip, he runs his nails over them, making me groan and arch up with need. “I’m going to fuck you now.”

“Please,” I beg. “Please, fuck me, Blake.”

In one swift motion he pulls back and rams into me. I cry out as the air is pushed out of my mouth and I feel him deep inside me. My legs wrap around his waist. “Blake!”

“Shh, no screaming until I tell you to,” he says as he pulls nearly all the way out and rams into me again.

I have to fight not to scream as it feels unbelievable and all I want to do is yell out. I do as he’s said though and stay quiet. In and out he goes, making hard thrusts that send my body into another world.

My head feels light as I hold in my moans. Little waves start moving inside me and I find the big wave is about to crash. Blake eases up his hard strokes and pulls back to look at me. “Say my name, Rachelle.”

“Blake,” I breathe out.

“Come.”

With that one word I let it go and moan low and deep as I do.

“God, you’re even more beautiful when you come, Rachelle.”

Pulling his body off mine, I feel the cold and only want him right back where he was. He turns me over and runs his hands over my back and down my ass. A hard slap he gives one cheek and I clench the muscles hard, preparing for another slap which he readily does to the other cheek.

Then his warm lips kiss the spot he hit first. His tongue running over the place that tingles. His fingers knead my other ass cheek as he kisses me. His mouth leaves my flesh as he gets on his knees behind me.

His hands wrap around my waist, pulling me up onto my knees. I think he’s about to push his dick into me and my body quivers with the anticipation. Instead though his lips touch my vagina and his tongue goes inside as his fingers take my clit and roll it between them.

The sensation sends my juices flowing, and he licks at me hungrily. The way he’s stroking my clit has me coming undone again and I moan as I come in his mouth.

Blake pulls his mouth off me and grabs my hips then thrusts into me. His groan as he does tells me he loves how his cock feels as my vagina pulses around it. Slow strokes he makes as he moans at the sensation.

My orgasm begins to wane, and he moves faster, making harder strokes. The way his balls are slapping my ass excites the shit out of me and I lean down on my elbows so he can go deeper inside me.

A moan escapes my lips and a hard slap lands on my ass. I bite my lip to keep in the next moan but can’t. It escapes and Blake’s hand lands on my ass again.

The sharp sensation as he does sends a rush through me and I find myself moaning again. Another hard slap I get then one hand grabs a fistful of my hair and he pulls it hard.

I gasp at the sensation and let out a little scream. “Fuck! Blake!”

His body tenses then heat fills me as he grunts then groans, leaning over my back.

He stays inside me until the last little pulses are over then he lets me lie down, his body covers mine for a moment then he rolls to the side as we both pant and try to catch our breath.

This looks to be the start of one fantastic night!

Blake

All I can see is her. Rachelle comes towards me down the aisle of blue carpeting. Little white benches line the sides. Max and Lexi sit on one side and Kip and Peyton the other.

Rachelle is glowing and the white wedding dress we bought when we got to Vegas makes her look like an angel. Peach colored roses fill the bouquet she carries as she comes to me.

My heart is pounding hard in my chest as she gets to me and turns to hand the flowers to Peyton. I take her hands in mine and can’t believe this is finally happening. “Hi,” I say.

“Hey,” she says with a smile.

I smile back. “Glad to see you came.”

“Glad you were waiting for me here. I wasn’t sure you’d be here.” She giggles.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” I say then chuckle. “Luck must be with me tonight.”

“I have to agree with you, Blake. It’s with us both tonight.” She smiles and melts my heart.

The justice of the peace clears his throat and I suppose he’d like to begin the ceremony. Reluctantly I turn to look at him and he proceeds to tell us what to say to one another.

The words I feel resonate through my body as I’ve never meant more from what I’ve said before. I am promising things and meaning them with every fiber of my being.

This woman is mine to protect, love, cherish, and keep with me forever. It’s a big responsibility and at this moment all I can think is, bring it on.

Rachelle

Peyton, Lexi, and I dance to a rock beat as Kip managed to highjack a small band and got them to play one of his songs for us. We scream like we’re his biggest fans, which I assume we are.

A hand runs along my side and lips touch my cheek as Blake slides in behind me, wrapping his arms around me and moving with me to the music. His words fall warm on my ear, “I love you, Mrs. Chandler.”

My lips quirk into a sideways grin as I think about my new name. I am Blake’s wife! Someday, I’ll be the mother of Blake’s children!

No matter what happens in this crazy life, I will hang onto these moments when we came together to become one.

I turn in his arms and wrap mine around his neck, dancing with him. Max has one arm around Lexi and one around Peyton as they sway to the music and look at us.

Max gives me a nod and a smile. If it weren’t for his brutal honesty I might not be dancing here in the arms of the man I love. I mouth the words, thank you, to him and bury my head in Blake’s neck.

I press my lips to his neck as he moves us to the music. His chest vibrates against mine as he moans. I whisper in his ear, “After this song, let’s disappear to our room, okay?”

Blake nods and dances closer to Max and the girls. “Hey guys, we’re going to take off for the night. Let’s meet up for breakfast in the morning.”

They laugh and Max says, “Got it. You want to consummate the nuptials, we get it.”

I blush and hide my face as Blake dances us away from our friends. I lean on him as he holds me tight and takes me to the elevator. There are people in it and I find myself wishing there was no one in it as all I can think about is getting my clothes off and wrapping myself with my husband.

The way Blake’s looking at me with a hunger in his eyes tells me he’s on the same page I am. The elevator doors open on our floor and he pulls me out and we run down the long hallway to our hotel room.

He runs the card to open the door and pushes it open. I start to walk in, but he suddenly picks me up and carries me into the room. His mouth takes mine as he takes me inside and the door shuts behind us.

He places my feet back on the floor and takes his mouth off mine, looking at me intensely. “How do you feel?”

“Better than I ever have,” I say and reach up and push his black suit jacket off his wide shoulders then unbutton his white shirt and run my hands over his muscled chest.

He pulls me close and runs his hands over my back and unzips the back of the white dress then pushes it off my shoulders, sending it down my body, landing in a heap at my feet.

Blake moves me to step away from it and I step out of my heels as I do. In only my white, lacey bra and panties, I push his shirt the rest of the way off and unbutton his slacks and push them off as well. His black, boxer briefs are all that’s left.

He unhooks my bra and pulls it off me then pulls me close, pressing my breasts to his naked chest. He sighs and pushes me back then steps back and runs his hands down my hips, taking the panties off then dropping what’s left off him.

His fingers graze my sex before he picks me up and carries me to the bed. Lying me back on the pillows, he looks into my eyes and I can truthfully say I have never felt so loved.

And so our marriage begins!

Soft kisses he trails over my body, starting at my toes and moving all the way up until his lips touch mine. They’re sweet and now they’re all mine and mine alone. My hand runs around to cup the back of his neck and press his lips harder to mine.

He kisses me harder and sends shivers through my body as his fingertips trail lightly over my ribs. I sigh with the way I feel for him. All the running, all the insecurities are over. I’m done with that and only moving forward with this man and our life together.

My breasts are pressed by his muscled chest and I can feel his heart pounding in his chest. It’s hard and insistent and I get to hear it forever. Blake’s tongue lingers on my lips as he begins to pull his mouth from mine.

His blue, brown eyes blink a few times as he looks at me. “Rachelle, I’ve never been happier. This seems like a dream to me.”

“It’s no dream, Blake. We’re married. About to start a journey together. Just you and I.” I kiss his lips, punctuating my sentence.

His fingers touch my cheeks and he pulls his mouth from mine again and looks at me as he strokes my face. “You’re so beautiful. You are my future, baby.”

“And you’re mine.”

His lips press against my forehead and the intense feelings he has are radiating out of him. Trailing kisses from my forehead, down my cheeks, he lands his lips on my neck, sending heat to my lower regions.

Both hands find my breasts and he squeezes them as he nips at my neck. One of his legs goes over mine, pressing my legs apart as he moves his body over mine, slowly. My body is aching for him and his deliberate slow pace is killing me.

Blake is all about the build-up though so I run my hands over his back and think about how great his muscles feel under my hands. His dick it thick and hard against my leg. I can feel it throb as it continues to grow and my insides are on fire as they long to feel it moving like that against them.

His breath warms my ear as he rests his mouth against it and just breathes. The way it sounds and feels makes me go even wetter and I arch up to him. “Please,” I moan. “Please, Blake, fill me now. I need you, baby.”

“I know you do,” he mumbles as he kisses down my neck and over my chest all the way down until his hot lips press against my throbbing clit.

I nearly fall apart with just that, but he stops and looks up at me. “Hang on to that until I tell you.”

I have to grip the sheet in both hands to keep myself from having the orgasm, but I do as he says to. His mouth goes back down on me, hot and wet. I moan as he kisses and licks me. My legs start to shake as I hold back the impending orgasm.

His tongue runs down and then up. In one swift motion his body moves up mine and he thrusts into me as he looks at me. “Come.”

I let the sheets go and run my hands over his back and rake my nails over it as I release the wave and listen to him groan as he thrusts in and out of my convulsing body. “Shit! Damn that feels so fucking amazing, baby.”

My legs quiver and shake as his dick moving in and out of me keeps the orgasm going. I feel like I might burst with the intense feeling. A low moan moves up my throat and as my body is racked with ecstasy it turns into a shrill scream.

His mouth crashes on mine to quiet my noise and he moves faster and harder into me. Finally, his body goes tense, and he shoots into me. My orgasm peaks and starts to ebb, leaving little pulses ticking away at me as it goes away.

My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath and Blake releases my mouth as he tries to catch his. “Wow!” I manage to get out.

“Wow, indeed!” Blake adds.

He rolls away and I welcome the cool air to aid my body’s heat. His hand slips over mine as he lies by my side. I start to giggle a little. “So, that was a little different, wasn’t it?”

“You felt that too?” he asks through ragged breaths.

“Yep. I guess now that we know neither of us is going anywhere our bodies really let go this time,” I say and turn over and lay my head on his heaving chest.

His arm runs around my shoulders, pulling me tight to him and he kisses the top of my head. “Maybe. I don’t know exactly why. I just know I’m really glad.”

I just know I’m really glad too!

Blake

Only three years into our marriage and Rachelle has made it big time. Her restaurant just received a five-star review, and she was offered a television series where she’ll host new chefs each week.

She says she doesn’t have time for that, but I bet she figures out how to make time for it. I pull into our driveway at our huge cabin in Colorado and turn to look back at our kids.

Rachelle and I went to the children’s home on our first year anniversary and found that little Sally and Toby Portis were available for adoption, so we adopted them. A year later we had a son. We named him Josh, and he’s a little over a year old now.

Our Dalmatian, Freckles, makes her way out to greet us as Toby and Sally pile out of the Suburban. They run to the dog we got a few days after we got married. Toby pats her head as Sally runs her hand over her back and they ask her if she missed them while we were gone to the store.

I pull Josh out of his car seat then place him on the ground and he toddles away to join his brother and sister. Rachelle opens the front door and waves at me.

She had an appointment today and I’m eager to find out why as she just told me that I had the kids today then said she’d be back later. Well, its later and I’m dying to know why she went to the doctor.

Her smile is wide as I come up the steps, helping Josh get up them. The other kids rush past Rachelle to get in the house. I let Josh’s hand go as he goes inside, following his big brother and sister.

Taking my wife into my arms, I kiss her then ask, “So, what’s up with you?”

Her hand trails over my face. She loves the new beard I’m sporting. I figure if we’re going to live in the wilderness I might as well look the part of a mountain man. She sighs and kisses my bearded cheek.

“Not much, I just went to go see my doctor.” She runs her fingers up and down my bicep then stops and takes it on her hand, squeezing it and letting out a little whimper. “I love the way that feels. Like that alone gets me so damn hot, Blake.”

“Baby, stop playing with me. Are you feeling well?” I take her chin in my hand and make her look at me instead of my arm.

“I feel fantastic. I didn’t go because I was feeling bad. Are you hungry?” she asks going off subject. “I made this new recipe with shrimp and lobster. The sauce has mangos in it. It’s really delicious. Come on, you have to try it.” She pulls at me to go inside the house where the kids are arguing over what cartoon to watch.

She pauses as she walks in front of the television, pulling me along after her. With a flick of the remote, she puts on their favorite cartoon which they all seem to forget is their favorite and they fall into a television zombie spell and sit on the sofa as they become mesmerized by the screen.

Even little Josh sits on his haunches and seems to be dazed by the colors or the sound or a combination of them both. Rachelle pulls me along to the kitchen with her.

A cake is on the bar and I look over at it. She takes my face between her small hands and makes me look at her. “Not yet. I don’t want you to see that just yet.”

“Why? What are you hiding?” I ask as I wrap my arms around her and pull her tight to me. “You’ve been shady this whole last week. Did you take that television offer? Is this how you’re telling me that we’re about to have a film crew in here once a week or something like that?”

She shakes her head and smiles but says nothing. Her eyes go soft and she runs her arms around my neck and kisses me. It’s sweet and light, but there’s more there. Her tongue runs languidly over mine and her pulse is strong and steady, but not fast like she’s particularly excited.

Her hands run over my back and down until she has both my ass cheeks in her hands and she squeezes them and presses me to her. Her kiss gets hungry in an instant and she grinds into me.

Though all I really want to do now is pick her up and spirit her away to our massive bedroom, I pull away from her and laugh. “Okay, tell me. No more playing around.”

“You are so damn good looking, Blake!” She tries to pull me to her again.

I hold her arms and make her stay still. “Tell me now!”

Her cell phone rings as it lies on the bar near us and we both look over to see Peyton’s name flashing. “I should answer that,” she says. “They’re all on the way over. She may want to tell me something important.”

Reluctantly I release her and let her answer the phone. “Hey girl!” she says and looks at me. I start to walk away and get a glimpse of that cake that looks like there’s writing on.

Her hand darts out, and she grabs my wrist and hangs on tight. I look back at her and she shakes her head then says into the phone, “Okay, we’re here. See you guys in about an hour then.” She ends the call and places the phone on the bar again. Her arms go back around my neck and she asks, “Now, where were we?”

I wrap my arms around her waist and answer, “You were about to tell me why you went to the doctor.”

“Was I?” she asks as she smiles innocently at me. “I’m not sure I was going to do that. I think I was going to kiss you a little bit more.”

“Your eyes are dancing with delight, baby. Just tell me so mine can too.” I kiss the tip of her cute little nose and give her ass a slap. “Don’t make me take you up to our room.”

Her eyes light up and she wiggles against me. “Hmm. Maybe that would be even better.”

“Rachelle, now!” I order and give her my no nonsense look that really doesn’t get anyone to do what I want them to, but I haven’t seemed to let it go yet.

“Okay, bossy!” she says as she turns in my arms and takes me to the cake. “Read it.”

It’s my favorite cake, a French vanilla and there’s lavender writing on it and four candles for some damn reason. I read it out loud, “To Blake, the best daddy in the world.” I turn to her as she begins to light the candles. “Well, thanks, sweetie, but what are the candles for?”

“They’re for your kids.” She gives me a smile and places my hand on her flat stomach. “You have one more now.”

“What? How the hell? Rachelle, I thought you were taking birth control! I mean, I know you were, right?” I shout.

The way she looks at me has me regretting how I’m shouting. She has this hurt expression and her cheeks are going red. “I’m sorry.”

I pull her into my arms and laugh. “No! Don’t be sorry. I’m surprised is all. I’m happy about it. I just thought we were going to wait a couple of years that’s all. You know, we talked about it.”

“Well, I forgot to take my pills a bunch here lately, and I messed up and now we’re pregnant again. I didn’t do it on purpose. I’m just so busy with the restaurant and the kids and everything that I kept forgetting,” she says with tears in her voice.

“Don’t cry, baby!” I hold her tight. “This is great news!”

“Is it? I mean, are you really okay with this?” She looks up at me with shiny eyes and it makes my heart heave.

“It’s more than okay with me, Rachelle.” I take her lips in a tender kiss as she runs her hands up and takes my hair into her fists.

Now I know why she got so hot so quickly when she brought me in here. The last pregnancy showed me a side of her I never knew before. The hormones make her nearly insatiable.

Lucky me!

Rachelle

Crickets chirp and coyotes howl as I lie in bed and wait for Blake to come join me after telling the kids their bedtime story. He is hands down the best father in the world. He’s right up there as the greatest husband too.

Six months ago I found out I was pregnant again. This is our second natural child, and she was unplanned, but loved no less than any of the rest of them.

In only three years, we managed to fill our huge mountain cabin with a real family, complete with the dog my husband dreamed of. My mother we got into a facility to help her with her many problems. My father was a bit of a nightmare to get help for, but eventually I found an organization to get him out from under the bridge.

He is still crazy as hell, but he’s crazy as hell inside a building now. I found it best to stay away from him as he tended to go off on me, ranting about my mother and throwing things.

It’s enough for me that I got him off the side of the road. I can live with that.

I’d love to report that I am one hundred percent fixed and have no more emotional problems, but that would be a lie. I have to fight myself to let Blake love me like he wants to. I sometimes think he’s too good to be true and find myself becoming distant.

I would never leave him though. I’d never leave this family we’ve built together. When my mind goes all stupid, I mostly get quiet and Blake figures out what’s going on and he loves me back to myself. He’s really good at that.

The door opens and my gorgeous man comes into our monster sized bedroom, wearing his pajama bottoms and a soft grey V-necked T-shirt. He looks handsome and his beard is trimmed up neatly.

I love the beard. Never thought I would, but the way it feels against my skin makes me a little bit insane, but in a good way.

“Hey, baby,” he says as he pulls his shirt off over his head, making his biceps bulge and taking my breath away as my eyes find his tight abs and pecs.

I lick my lips as my insides heat and I look up into his eyes as he gets to the edge of the bed. I toss the blanket back to show him I have nothing on and it earns me a wiggle from his eyebrows.

He drops the PJ bottoms and my teeth take my bottom lip between them as I bite down and moan. “Blake.”

Blake climbs onto our big and plush bed. “Say it again, baby.”

I moan his name again as he runs his hand over my large belly. He kisses it and says, “Daddy loves you, Abby.”

We picked her name out last night and hearing him talk to our baby girl like that makes my heart quiver with love for him. I place my hand over his and follow his motions over my stomach. He looks up at me with a smile.

“I love Momma too,” he says and kisses his way up to my lips.

My pulse races as his lips touch mine. He never fails to excite me. My body reacts to him in such a way that it doesn’t make sense. After kissing me long and hard, he pulls his mouth away and turns me over, pulling me back to him on my knees.

My body aches as I wait to see what he’s going to do. Blake leans over me and takes a breast in one hand and starts stroking my clit with his other hand. My moan fills the large room, and he shushes me then nips my back.

He pushes his hard cock into me, but doesn’t move it at all. I try to rock back to him to make him stroke me, but he bites me a little harder and I stop. His fingers press and pinch with just the right amount of pressure on my throbbing clit as he massages my breast and rakes his teeth over my back.

Just as my insides start to quiver with what is sure to be the first of several orgasms he’ll give me, he begins to thrust into me. Moving slow and steady until I completely come all over his dick.

Releasing my breast and moving his hand off my pussy he straightens up and pushes deeper into me. Now it’s him who moans as my body pulses around his large and hard cock. “Fuck me, baby! God damn it!”

My body goes crazy for him and I rock back to meet the hard thrusts he begins as he tries to make me come for as long as possible on his dick. He’s found a trick that will take me right back into a hard orgasm most of the time if he starts it before I stop pulsing completely.

He pulls me back to him, plunging his cock into me then my orgasm slows and he stops. Reaching up, he takes both of my breasts in his hands and pulls me up so my back is against his chest. His dick still moves inside me, but the strokes are short as he rocks into me.

Both breasts he squeezes and pulls on the nipples, sending jolts of electricity through me. One of them he releases then he places one of his fingers into my mouth. “Suck it.”

I run my mouth up and down his finger and suck it just like I would do his dick. He groans against my neck as he begins his assault on it. Nipping and sucking at it before he bites down hard and it sends me over the edge again.

Sucking harder on his finger, I reach around behind me and grab his fantastic ass with both hands and help him plunge deeper into me as I fall apart around him. This time it sends him into an orgasm and he moans in my ear as he comes hard inside me.

He quits pulsing before I do as my pregnant body is insatiable it seems. I want more and he knows this. He lies me down and rolls me to my back. I pull my knees up as I have this part down. It’s the only way to finish me, thoroughly.

With panting breath, he kisses my clit and runs his tongue up and down my folds, dipping his tongue into me. Over and over he goes until my whole body is shaking and I scream with the ultimate release.

He kisses me gently until my body stops shaking and everything stills in me. Slow kisses he trails up my body then lies next to me, draping his arm over my stomach and kissing my cheek as my lids grow heavy and I fall asleep quickly in his safe embrace.

The man knows how to keep me satisfied!

Blake

The full moon’s light shines into the window of our bedroom. Tall pines filter it somewhat as I gaze out at the night sky and hold my wife in my arms as she sleeps peacefully after we made love.

An owl hoots then another answers its call. One, large, white owl flies past the window then the other flies after it. Both are large and majestic looking as they fly past the window, hooting as they go.

My hand rests on Rachelle’s pregnant belly and just as one of the owl’s hoots and flies past the window again our baby kicks. A grin spreads over my face instantly with happiness.

I can feel my parents’ presence in my heart and find more than comfort with it. I find joy and happiness, and thankfulness all at once. If not for their wishes of their individual ashes being spread in opposite oceans and the money I had to play the lotteries across this big country, I would not be where I am tonight.

I would never have needed to meet Max Lane to seek financial advice. I would never have met the beautiful lady I hold in my arms. The little red-haired girl and dark-haired boy I found at the children’s home Max grew up in would still be there and not making this family what it is today.

My son wouldn’t be sleeping in his crib down the hall and my daughter wouldn’t be kicking her mother as we speak. Nope. None of this would be, without their passing and their wishes.

The morning I found out my parents had died a piece of me did too. I knew life would never be the same for me. I never told a soul about how low I became in the weeks following their death.

The fact was that I had sat in their bedroom one night a few weeks after their death, drinking a bottle of whisky and holding a pistol in my shaking hand. I was planning on ending it all. The pain had become too much, and I didn’t want to live anymore all alone in this big and cruel world.

I wasn’t always the buff bodied man I am today or when I met Rachelle. Nope, I was a fat little boy who got beat up a hell of a lot. I grew into a pretty chubby man who had super low self-esteem. When they died, it took away the only people who loved me, the only ones who never made fun of me.

That night as I sat there with that bottle and that gun something happened as I put the barrel of the gun in my mouth and put my finger on the trigger. Something slammed against the outside wall, making me nearly jump off the bed it was so loud.

For some reason, I stopped what I was doing and went outside to see what the hell had made the loud noise. It was dark, but I saw a large rock near the area I had heard the noise from. As I looked around I saw the mouth of the big bass mailbox hanging open.

I went over and found one flyer inside and pulled it out, surprised to find I must’ve left it when I checked the mail earlier that morning. Taking it inside, I looked at it and found it was advertising this weight set, home gym thing. No money down and I could make low monthly payments.

I didn’t go back into my parents’ room that night. I left the bottle and the gun on the bed in there and went to my own room and went to sleep. The next day I called the number on the flyer and by that afternoon the equipment was delivered and the guys set it all up in the living room for me.

The home gym came with this pamphlet that told me how to eat right and within a couple of months I was well on my way to where I am today. I took every picture of the old me and burned them all. The new body gave me new confidence, and I finally did what my parents’ will asked me to.

I made the trip to New York and dropped Dad in the Pacific then went across the country, playing the lotteries in each state on my way to Los Angeles where I dropped off my mother.

That was the first step on my new life’s journey. I don’t know if I’ll ever tell my wife about the desperate man I was or not. That guy did die that fateful night after all. The old, fat, depressed, and insecure Blake was no more after that.

Happy go lucky Blake was born and apparently was being sent to find a young woman who needed him very badly. And I am happy to find out we get to have our happily ever after, after all.

The End