Chapter 19
Desmond had gone to meditate initially when he felt Sienna shift back to consciousness, but he had ended in the gardens, walking with Mariah. It seemed a moment too good to pass up – their last moment, where no one would be bothered if they held hands while they walked.
“It does seem a lifetime ago,” Mariah said as they walked.
“A lifetime ago, and yet not so far,” Desmond answered. “I imagine we will adapt.”
“We will,” Mariah said, “because we always find a way. Although things will be different.”
He sighed. “To be honest, Mariah, I'm not sure I will be able to.”
Her head turned toward him. “Of course, you will,” she said. “You always find a way. That's why you've gotten this far.”
“I do know something,” he said. “This will be the last time. I do not have the heart or the strength anymore. It's not about saving them. It's about being a good Maestro, and I cannot provide that.”
“We knew this day would come,” she pointed out. “A day when we would age out. I know there was some discussion of the Jurors making a special exception due to your age, but I understand.”
“And when Sienna is ready, I promise you,” he said. “We will return to these gardens, and we will have our moment.”
“Don't promise that,” she said with a smile. “You are not sure you can uphold that promise.”
“I will do my very best,” he said as he heard footsteps. Out of instinct, he dropped Mariah's hand. However, to his relief, it was Nathaniel standing at the doorway of the palace, calling out to him.
“Maestro,” said his former Tiro, his face full of happiness. Desmond knew at once why he was being summoned.
“Sienna is awake,” he said to Mariah. “I have a duty to go to her.”
“It's more than a duty,” Mariah reminded him, but Desmond said nothing to that. Mariah felt him leave her, walking toward Nathaniel, with a heaviness around him. It was more than a duty, wasn't it? His Tiros had always been more than a duty. They had been family–their children, their hope.
Desmond was changing, and she knew he was right. He couldn't take another one; that time was over.
Her heart glimmered with hope as she felt his presence head inside. They just had to get through this; a few more years, and then they would have their heaven forever.
Sienna had thought that she wanted to see Desmond more than anything in the world. However, when Devon entered the room, her heart leapt with joy.
“Hi,” he said, as if they had only been apart a few moments, rather than weeks while she drifted. “Nice of you to rejoin us.”
“Devon,” Sienna opened her arms carefully, and he went to hug her, kissing the top of her head. She scooted, and he took the cue, hopping up on the bed beside her. This was what she wanted as she snuggled up against him. Now, she felt complete. “Are you all right? Are you…?”
“I'm all right, thanks to you,” he assured her, playing with her. “My brave witch, you saved me. You saved all of us.”
“I'm not brave,” she said with a shrug. “It was just something I had to do. I had to do it, Devon. I couldn't stand to be alone.”
“I couldn't have done what you did, none of us could,” Devon reminded her. “You have a bright future ahead of you.”
She glanced up to the IV bags, but he brought her chin back to gaze into her eyes. “In spite of that,” he told her. “In spite of all of it.”
“Mmm,” she lay on her shoulder, and he poked her.
“Hey, I want to ask you something.”
She looked up, confused.
“Do you still want to go?” he chose his words carefully. Her eyes widened.
“No,” she said. “After all of that, I can't. I don't want to. I can't,” she decided. “I don't know what the future holds for me, Devon, but I have to stay on this path.”
“I thought you might say that,” he smiled at her. “And I think you're right.”
“We made a mistake,” she said softly. “But it can be forgiven.”
He stayed silent for a moment. “We made a mistake, I think, on how we went about it. But….”
She suddenly felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. “What?” she asked.
He smiled, brushing the hair out of her face. “I can't stay here, Sienna. I can't do that.”
“What?” Her mouth fell open in shock. “What are you talking about?”
“Your Maestros…they are different.”
“Laura loves you!” Sienna said, sitting up a bit more. Her head spun, but she had to push her point across. “She doesn't want you to go.”
“Of course, she does, and of course she wants me to stay,” Devon said. “But she won't be broken if I leave. She understands that I have another path to walk on, and she will go on and train others who will hopefully be better to her and for her. We've talked about it. She is at peace with the choice.”
“No, you can't!” She grabbed onto his hand. “You can't leave me.”
“I'm not leaving you,” he assured her. “Please don't think this is like that, because it's not. This is what I have to do, Sienna, for me. It does not affect you and me, the way I feel about you, any of it. Look at Nathaniel. He manages a relationship with a non-witch. It's possible.”
“But…,” her lip trembled.
“Until my dying day,” he assured her, “I will love you. But I can't stay on as a witch. Please understand that, my love. Please.”
She felt tears pool in her eyes, and she lay her head against his chest.
“Where will you go?” she asked.
“I don't know,” he replied with a sly grin. “I thought about maybe staying on Jeffro. Or maybe traveling. I don't want to die, but I know that I will eventually, so I can't stray too far off the beaten path until it's my time. But rest assured, you will always know where I am and what I plan to do. You have nothing to fear from our separation.”
“But I will miss you.”
“My love, it's no different than us on missions,” he said. “We got used to being together, but we didn't do that for years, and we managed just fine. And we spent eight months apart with nothing too life changing, hmm?” he reminded her. “It'll be all right. I promise.”
Somehow, listening to his calming voice and the rise and fall of his chest, she became convinced. But Devon could always convince her of anything because she loved him.
“Nathaniel is in charge of his own fate,” she said. “He can choose to see Eliza. I can't choose the quests we go on.”
“Ah,” Devon said with a small smile. “Perhaps I'll just have to make sure to go wherever you are. That is, until you pass the tests.”
That surprised her. “You think that I'm going to pass the tests?” she asked in shock. “Do you know what they've done to me? Do you know what I have to–”
“I know,” he said. “But if anyone can find a way to do it without magic, it'll be you.”
“When are you leaving?” she asked, desperate for as much time with him as she could.
“I'll come back with you,” he said. “There are no hard feelings toward the Jurors. Laura will unseal my medical records, and it will be an honorable discharge, without a doubt. I'll pack up and go from there, and then perhaps arrange myself, so that I'm wherever your next quest is. We'll work it out, I promise.”
She squeezed his hand. “I suppose it could work.”
“Of course, it's going to work,” Devon smiled at her. “Don't worry about anything. I'll take care of everything.”
“You always do,” she answered with a smile. She was gaining more and more hope with each day. But suddenly, the sinking feeling came back to her. “Devon, you died.”
“Haven't we already been over this?” he asked her, teasing her. “Of course, I did. But you saved me.”
“I know that,” she answered. “But what door have I opened? What have I brought back with you?”
He took a deep breath. “I don't know,” he replied. “So far, there's been nothing, though. With the bird, it was moments later, so…”
“But with Eliza's cousin, it was years later,” Sienna pointed out.
Devon traced a pattern on the sheets. “Maybe it won't happen this time?”
“It will,” she said quietly. “It will. It's just a matter of what and when.”
“Ahem,” she looked up to see Desmond leaning against the doorway, looking slightly unimpressed with the fact that they were snuggling. Devon jumped as if he was still going to answer to a Maestro's law.
“I should let you two talk,” he said, sheepishly sliding off the bed. “I'll, um, come see you later, Sienna.”
“Please,” she replied as she watched him go. She turned her gaze to Desmond, hope in her eyes. “Maestro?” she asked.
Desmond was less emotional and affectionate than Nathaniel. He remained standing at the door.
“I'm glad to see you've awakened, little one.”
Sienna simply shrugged with a smile. “Of course. We aren't done, are we?”
To that, Desmond said nothing as he entered the room. Like Nathaniel, he glanced at her vitals and then sat in the chair beside her bed.
“How are you feeling?”
“Odd without the bond,” she said.
He let out a deep breath. “It was necessary, Sienna.”
“I know,” she assured him. “It's just going to take some getting used to. But we're going home, aren't we?”
“We are,” he said. “Back to school, back to quests. For a time, at least.”
“For a time,” she echoed. “What do you mean?”
“Well, we can't stay in this state forever,” he said. “You can't train forever.”
“No,” she replied. “But I'm not ready now.”
“No,” he agreed. “You aren't. I am glad to see you safe, though. You had us all quite scared.”
“Maestro, I wouldn't leave you,” she promised him. “I'm sorry about the choices I made. I never should have gone with Devon, I never should have–”
“Hush, Sienna,” he said softly. “It's in the past. It doesn't matter now. What's done is done. Nathaniel tells me that you regret your choice, and that's all that matters.”
“I do,” she said. “Although, fate is funny. Had I not run off, we perhaps wouldn't have gotten Reynolds.”
“Perhaps not,” Desmond said, and she had a feeling he wondered otherwise.
“Desmond?” she asked, unsure. When they had first started training together, it was the two of them that had been closest. Nathaniel hadn't even wanted her. He preferred to have a strong warrior, and he cursed her weak genes. But now, it seemed the situation was flipped. “Are you angry?”
“No, little one,” he said. “Angry is not the word.”
“What is the word?” she asked fearfully.
He put a hand on her shoulder, trying to reassure her. “Don't worry about it. This was a rough quest for me, with lots of memories from the past. It will take some time, but I will recover.”
“And we will be fine?” she asked eagerly.
“We will find a way,” he said as he stood up. “Do you need anything?”
She shook her head. “No. Just rest, I guess.”
“Then get lots of rest,” he said. “For you have strength inside you that you aren't aware of. You will be fine.”
“Yes,” she said with a smile. “I will be.”