Chapter 13
Sienna had retreated to the top level of the factory, passed the offices and up into a tiny attic loft. It had a glassed in roof, and now that the storm had stopped, the sun was shining through. It was as close to nature as they could get on this frozen planet. Her tears were half dried as she titled her face toward the sun, her eyes closed.
Even if her body didn't agree with Nature, her heart longed for it all the time. She felt at peace with the sunshine, the hope of growth and renewal.
Desmond approached quietly, his heart thudding nearly out of his chest as he watched her for a moment. He knew this was the right thing to do, but already he could see the ramifications slammed in his face.
He wished Mariah were here. She had a way with words. She could say anything without upsetting someone and always put a positive spin on things. Desmond would have thought that all the years of diplomacy and negotiation would come in handy for times like this, but he was at a loss.
“Hi,” she said, hearing his footsteps. “I'm sorry. It just…”
“It's all right,” he said quietly. “It's been a hard few days.”
She smiled, wiping away a tear. “But it's not very witch-like.”
“Sienna.” He sighed and looked around. There was a window ledge that was big enough and he gestured for them to both sit. She did without question, leaning against the cool glass. “There is something I've wanted to speak to you about.”
“Mm?” she asked. She was relaxing, her tears drying, and that made it worse.
He never thought he'd have to say the words that tumbled out of his mouth. He had sworn he'd never abandon a Tiro after Reynolds Sienna was his idea, his commitment.
The best course of action was simply to tumble out the facts before his heart took over.
“You and I both know that you will never pass the tests, as hard as you try and as gifted as you are,” he said quietly. “I have long perceived that you would never become a full working witch. Our paths are no longer linked, little one.”
Silence filled the room. Her jaw unhinged.
“I'm sorry?” she asked, hoping she had misunderstood.
“You know this as truth,” he said at last. “And these last few days have shown us both that you have so much talent in other areas. I have to serve Nature, Sienna, and none of us can do that while we remain stagnant.”
The tears welled up again.
“Desmond—” she started. He took her hands but she pulled back. “No. You promised. You said…”
“I know.” He sighed. “I know, and I have tried everything I could to make it work.”
“Is this about the children downstairs? The new potential? The shiny new misfits that you can take?”
“It is about them,” he said, surprising her. “And all the others, around the galaxy. You have a bright future ahead of you, and I can assist you in finding a place to benefit your skills. You have so many other talents, there are so many paths you can take. But, little one, being a witch is not one of them. Not if you want to live.”
“You can't—” Her jaw quivered. “You can't leave me. You can't…”
“I don't want to,” he said. “But we are doing a disservice to Nature itself if we keep up this charade. Magic is not about you, or I, or our feelings. It's about serving the galaxy.”
“Am I not serving the galaxy?” she cried out with a sob.
“You are,” he assured her. “And you have been the most wonderful gem of a Tiro, the strongest I know. You are serving and protecting, assisting in peace in this war-torn place. But not as a witch. And you have to accept that.”
“You can take me off the drugs,” she bargained “You can—”
“No,” he said. “I want you to live, Sienna. I want you to translate, to negotiate, to bring peace to the planets you visit. I want you to work beside royals and commoners alike. I want you to use the gift you were given to find the words others can't. I want you to thrive, to breathe. You said yourself you could do none of those things on magic. Isn't that right?”
To his surprise, she nodded, tears slipping down her face. “Is Nathaniel part of this?”
“No,” Desmond replied. “He is not.”
“Does he know?”
“He knows I was thinking of it.”
“And will he leave me, too?”
“I cannot speak for him, but it seems not,” Desmond answered. “You have every right to be angry with me, Sienna, or to seek...”
She settled beside him in the window seat, her tears coming slower now as she took a deep breath. “I'm not angry,” she said, as she closed her eyes. “It's just my worst fear come true.”
“Please understand, little one, it's not for your lack of effort or skill,” he said.
“It's for the magic,” she replied. “For Nature.”
“Yes,” he brushed some hair behind her shoulders. “It is.”
She took a deep breath. “Will you take another Tiro?”
“I don't know,” he answered. “I do not know if I have the energy, the capability anymore.”
“Mariah would not like you to,” she pointed out.
“No,” Desmond agreed. “She would not.”
“Did she know?”
“She did,” Desmond admitted. “This is not a decision I take lightly. I have wrestled with myself for ways around this for months. A few years, if I'm being honest.”
“So, it wasn't just…this trip?”
“No,” he assured her. “It has brought some things to light. The path Nathaniel wants you on is different than the one I am choosing, and that's all right. In a way, I knew it would always come to this. What the three of us did was beyond difficult. It was unprecedented, and we were bound to clash. But I think you are happier with him and his choices, yes?”
“Don't ask me that,” she looked up at him. “Don't ask me to choose.”
“I'm not asking you to choose,” Desmond assured her. “I'm simply removing myself from the equation because I feel it's best for all involved. I don't know that I'll take another Tiro, Sienna, because of my energy, my age.”
She was silent for a long moment. “You don't think Nathaniel should be continuing with me, either.”
“Nathaniel is no longer my Tiro, and so his choices are not mine to comment on,” Desmond said, but she pushed the issue.
“But do you think he should stop?”
Desmond sighed. “Yes,” he said. “I do. And I make no apologies about it, Sienna. However, the two of you have to make your own decisions from here on out.”
She clenched her shaking hand into her fist and went pale. Desmond was afraid she would be sick again, but instead, she took a few steps back. “What do we do?” she asked. “Should I go back to the ship?”
“We don't have to cease to speak to each other,” he said gently. “I'm doing what is best, Sienna, for both of us.”
'What do we do?” she repeated.
He sighed. “I would like to meet these children that Pedro is speaking of,” he answered. “To see if they would be willing to come with us. After that, we can gather the parts we need to return to the ship.”
“I should call Nathaniel,” she said but he shook his head.
“Sienna, we need to focus on the task at hand. If you call Nathaniel now, your emotions will flow.”
“He is my Maestro now,” she pointed out, her lip quivering.
“Fifteen minutes, Sienna,” he said. “I promise you, in fifteen minutes, we will have a decision”
She took a deep shuddering breath, and then eventually nodded.
“I'll leave you to take a moment,” Desmond said, heading down the stairs. He wanted to say something, to place a hand on her shoulder, but he knew she wasn't ready.
He wished she could see that he wasn't doing this to harm her and he wasn't doing it because he felt it would be the easiest option.
He was sure that only when she was free of the barriers magic put on her would she be able to grow.
He wasn't sure Nathaniel would be able to handle it by himself, but he didn't want to place doubt into his former Tiro. If Nathaniel was sure that training her was going to be the best option, then Desmond knew that he must accept that. Even if he didn't believe it.
Desmond felt like he had failed her. He had taken on a challenge much bigger than himself and he wasn't sure that he would ever succeed at anything again. But he had to try, for Nature's sake.
Pedro was waiting for him back downstairs, a quizzical look on his face.
“All is well?”
“All is well,” Desmond answered, even though it was the opposite of well. “Please, your potentials”
“Come this way.” Pedro ushered him through the floor, and Desmond followed, watching the mass amounts of magic shoot from tiny fingers. This was either going to be the moment that would define him or break him. Either way, he knew he had to step through the ring of fire to come out the other side.