Chapter Twenty-Nine
Elliot lay on his bed thinking about everything Dervyl had told him and all the things she hadn’t revealed. There was so much he wanted to understand about her people, their relationship with the Nean race, how they used magic, and this whole other dimension where they lived.
He also wondered, increasingly unhappily, if he would ever be friends with Farlden and Barve again. After what he had learned about the threat both Izients and Neans would face from Sapiens if the latter ever found out about them, he understood why the brothers couldn’t tell him the truth. The lies still hurt but he could get over that. Barve was one of the gentlest, kindest people he’d ever met and Farlden... Elliot knew now that his feelings for him went far beyond friendship. Farlden made him feel stronger emotions, both anger and joy, than he had ever known before and the amazing connection he felt to him when they shared magic added an extra layer to their relationship. Whether Farlden felt anything similar for him or not, he was unique and Elliot couldn’t bear to lose him.
He sat up straight, hands dropping to his sides. He’d damn well get down on his knees and beg them for forgiveness if he had to. He wasn’t giving them up.
There was a knock on his door and, since he never bothered to lock it when he was in the halls, he just said, “Come in.”
The door opened and Farlden appeared in the doorway. Elliot’s heart felt as if it stopped completely for a second before pounding at twice its usual speed. His mouth was dry as he said, “Farlden, about my family...”
“... Are you planning on apologising?” he interrupted and, when Elliot nodded, fearing the worst, he said, “There’s no need. Everything we had to lie to you about was worse and, besides, your family’s behaviour has nothing to do with you.”
But they were his closest relations and he had let them come here. Elliot was used to cringing at some of his family’s comments but the things his mother and Jasper had said today to Farlden were like the stinging blows from a whip, sickening in their cruelty. “They were so incredibly awful.”
Farlden eyes crinkled. “Yeah, they were. Coming from a background like that, it’s a miracle that you turned out... you know: not horrible.”
Despite himself, Elliot laughed. “I wish you’d phoned me back so you never encountered them.” He had managed to speak to Barve at the residential hall but Farlden hadn’t been there and neither of them had mobiles. Elliot had been afraid that Farlden didn’t want anything more to do with him, that the arguments and secrets were just too much for him. Farlden had never wanted his friendship in the first place, after all.
“I was out all the Friday with Lila so I didn’t get the message to call you from Barve until minutes before I saw you and your family on the Saturday morning.”
Lila? Elliot’s stomach lurched at what it sounded like Farlden was saying. Elliot hadn’t seen any spark of attraction or interest between them, but perhaps he just hadn’t been paying enough attention. Elliot stared at him, before looking away, trying to hide the depth of his disappointment.
“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you about the Izients,” Farlden continued, oblivious to the blow he’d just inflicted. “I never imagined wanting to tell a Sapiens the truth about everything, but you’re different and both me and Barve really wanted to.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“How would you feel if you knew a secret that could get your entire race, and another human race, killed? No Nean has ever told someone without the Izients’ permission. They’re our only chance.”
“At what?”
“Freedom.”
Elliot didn’t understand. “But you are free.”
Farlden shook his head. “You’ve seen how Sapiens treat us. We might not be slaves at the moment but no Sapiens gets punished for knocking us about, or raping a Nean, or killing one of us. Is that really your idea of freedom?”
“No.” Elliot sat down on his bed and waved Farlden towards the room’s one chair. “Dervyl says the Izients and Neans don’t want a war, that you’re not planning a way to kill Sapiens.”
“No, I swear.”
“She won’t tell me anything more unless I promise to be on your side, but whatever you want to do, if I take your side I’ll be working against my people, won’t I?”
“Yeah,” Farlden said simply.
“Then how can you expect me to agree?”
“Because you’re a good person and the way things are right now for Neans isn’t right.”
Elliot rubbed his face, torn. He had a feeling that whichever choice he made would be a painful one. “I don’t want to lose my family.”
“I know this is difficult and there’s no hurry,” Farlden said. “Think it over as much as you need to and I’ll tell you everything I can.”
Elliot smiled at this. “You’ll actually talk to me about Nean culture and history?”
“Yup. You can pester me with as many annoying questions as you can think up.”
The familiarity of the banter made him smile. “Perhaps things aren’t so bad then.”
“I thought you’d see the bright side.” Farlden stood up and held out a hand to pull him up from the bed and, as Elliot took it, making the most of this shared moment, Farlden added, “I’m glad you’re back. Now come and have something to eat.”