Chapter Four
“WE’RE HERE to support our students so, if you need any help, speak to one of the professors or a member of the admin staff.”
The Vice Chancellor of the university, whose ginger hair gave him the look of a smug fox, stopped speaking and the introduction came to an end. The hundreds of other students in the enormous theatre began chatting and getting to their feet, surrounding Fal. He had only seen crowds like this on the odd occasions when he’d travelled through London and he tried to breathe steadily but there didn’t feel as if there was enough oxygen in the air. He needed to get out of here.
“There’s another Nean,” Barve said, the words distracting Farlden enough to make his panic recede. Fal followed his gaze and saw a teenage Nean girl walking towards the two professors who’d spoken to them all. “Let’s speak to her,” he said. Nean strangers didn’t typically introduce themselves to each other, not usually being interested in knowing people beyond their family group, but university was a new environment and it would be nice to have someone they could trust to spend time with.
They walked over to her just as she said to a grey-haired male professor, “Could I speak to someone about my course schedule? There are some things I don’t understand.”
The man took in her brow ridge with a frown. “If you can’t handle the course you signed up for, you shouldn’t be here. Some people will never belong at a university, whatever the do-gooders in Parliament decree.”
A few students, who had been close enough to hear this, nudged each other and laughed as the professor turned and left her standing there alone. Cheeks flaming, she turned and hurried out, moving in the opposite direction to where Barve and Farlden stood, so they couldn’t get to her to try to ease her embarrassment.
So much for the hope that Neans might get any kind of support here. Fal’s expectations had been low but it made him feel sick to know they truly would be alone if they were ever in danger which, given the attitudes of most Saps, was a certainty.
“Let’s get out of here.”
“Oh, there’s Elliot,” Barve said and waved.
Fal saw the familiar figure a few feet from them, dark hair and sharp cheekbones filling his vision. Elliot looked wary. Of course, the creep wouldn’t want the embarrassment of speaking to Neans in front of a bunch of Sapiens. The walls were closing in on Fal again and his sight was darkening, as if he were about to pass out.
“I’ll meet you outside,” he said and hurried towards the exit. A couple of kids tried to trip him up and bigoted comments followed his every step, but he finally got out of the hall and stumbled into the nearby men’s toilet, where he gasped in air as the room spun around him.
* * *
Elliot caught sight of Barve and Farlden and hesitated, mind full of what his mother had said about making the right friends at Uni. He had dismissed her words at the time but he knew that, if he chose to be friends with Neans, most of the other students would hate him. In the past he had found it easy to make friends and had been popular at school, even if the relationships had all been a bit superficial. Did he really want to throw away that chance now and make his next three years difficult for the sake of two people he barely knew?
He had liked Barve, though, and even Farlden, for all his bad temper, had been interesting. Elliot’s mother might never forgive him, though.
He saw Farlden vanish towards the exit, Barve following more slowly, expression shuttered, apparently accepting that Elliot didn’t want to speak to him. Elliot swallowed, torn by indecision. It would be sensible to ignore them. He could still be polite if he ever ran into them without actually taking their side against everyone else.
He found himself sickened by his own argument and suddenly knew with utter certainty he would always be ashamed of himself if he ignored someone he liked out of fear.
He grabbed his briefcase and jogged towards the door, getting to Barve in the corridor just in time to hear a nearby Sapiens say, “This law won’t last and you’ll be back scrubbing people’s floors soon. No one wants you here.”
Elliot put a hand on Barve’s shoulder and felt him tense before seeing it was him. The look of relief in Barve’s eyes made Elliot hate himself even more for what he had nearly done. “Hello. Sorry, I didn’t see you and Farlden arrive at the lecture or we could’ve sat together.”
The Sapiens who had been taunting Barve swore at Elliot and turned away, leaving. A few other people gave them dark looks but most of the students were too busy talking and heading away to pay them any attention.
“It’s good to see you again,” Barve said to him, smiling. He was wearing full make-up again and his multi-coloured shirt drew even more attention to him, but why shouldn’t he wear whatever he wanted, Elliot asked himself, not sure if it was the other Sapiens or himself that he was so annoyed at. Why was it so difficult to stand here with a Nean and be stared at and judged? He didn’t know anyone else here – there was no reason why he should care what they thought of him.
But he did.
* * *
Fal clutched the sink, the solidity of the cool enamel anchoring him to reality as sweat broke out over his body and his legs turned to jelly. He was too vulnerable like this; he had to pull himself together. He forced himself to take deeper breaths and, after far too long, his breathing became more even and his vision returned to normal. Another student walked in and he hastily let go of the sink and pushed the hair out of his eyes. He looked in the mirror, took in his ghostly pallor and splashed water on his face. He hadn’t got any blusher with him, so there was nothing more he could do. Hoping it was enough to go unnoticed, he walked back into the corridor, looked about and saw Barve and Elliot close by, talking.
He hadn’t expected Elliot to want anything to do with them in public. Other students were still throwing insults, like stones, at him and Barve but Elliot was ignoring them, remaining beside Barve in a slightly protective way that should have been Fal’s job, except that Fal had fallen apart and made a complete fool of himself.
“We didn’t go and register with any of the university’s clubs and societies yesterday,” Barve was saying. “Neans can’t make kinships with strangers over common interests the way Sapiens do. I guess it’s a psychological thing about our species.”
“That’s interesting,” Elliot said. His brown hair was perfectly styled and he had a jacket thrown over one shoulder like a male model, while Fal’s hair was sticky with sweat and he felt shivery. “So how do you socialise?”
“We’re pretty boring. We...” Barve broke off as he saw Farlden. “Are you okay?”
“Fine,” he said.
“You’ve gone white,” Elliot commented, frowning.
“I don’t like crowds of people,” he said.
“Panic attack?” Barve asked, taking hold of his elbow as if he were an invalid who needed help walking.
Hating having Elliot see his weakness and wanting to squirm from their combined attention, he snapped, “I’m fine. Let’s go and eat.”
Today was supposed to have been straightforward and Fal had barely been able to cope with it. He found himself dreading tomorrow when he and his brother would be in separate classes, with no one there to turn to when things got difficult.