Chapter Eight
“I HOPE that Elliot won’t decide that hanging out with us is too much trouble,” Barve said, sitting cross-legged on Farlden’s bed that evening, toying with the beads on his necklace.
“Yeah, that would be a real loss.” The only reason Fal had made up his mind to keep spending time with Elliot was to keep an eye on what he was up to and make sure Barve didn’t give away anything important to him. “He’s a Sapiens so we can’t possibly trust him. We’re better off without him.”
“You realise you’re just as prejudiced as the worst of them?”
Fal thought about Elliot’s mother and very much doubted that was true. “You know what’s at stake for our people...” Barve gave him a mournful look and Fal sighed. His brother had too big a crush to show sense where the Sap was concerned. “Look, he keeps spending time with you, so he’s obviously not listening to any prejudiced comments.”
Barve’s expression cleared. “That’s true.” He got to his feet, bracelets jangling. “I’ll cook a meal for the three of us.”
Fal didn’t bother to ask if they had to spend every free second with the Sap, because Barve’s answer was obvious. His brother was likely to get hurt and, if that happened, Fal would make Elliot pay.
Having got clay all over himself during a pottery class, Fal took a shower, letting the hot water wash the tension from his stocky body. He wasn’t used to the number of people around him at university and found them unnerving, although at least he hadn’t had another panic attack. He shuddered at the memory of it. He didn’t want Elliot thinking he was weak.
Fal had never spent any time in groups as big as the lectures he attended and wasn’t sure how to communicate in them, particularly when they were with Saps, half of them staring at him with hatred. Add Elliot’s untrustworthiness and Barve’s blind infatuation to that and he just wanted to get away from here, but that was impossible: no matter how bad things got he couldn’t leave Barve unprotected.
He changed, refreshed his eyeliner and, by the time he got to the kitchen, Elliot and Barve were there together, Barve showing the Sap how to make the sauce for a vegetarian spaghetti bolognaise. The smell of tomatoes filled the air as Barve added herbs and the vegetables he had already chopped to the simmering mixture.
Elliot was smiling and paying attention to everything Barve told him. No wonder his brother was hooked. He didn’t have a chance against that much charm and the irritatingly good-looking smile.
Elliot glanced round and Fal froze, breath quickening as the boy’s bright blue eyes fell on him. Elliot’s smile faded into the wary expression that was common in his interactions with Fal. “Hello,” Elliot said.
“It’ll be ready in about fifteen minutes,” Barve said, not looking up from his preparations.
“Great.” For some reason Fal had a heavy feeling in his stomach and his hunger had faded away. “I’m going for a quick walk.”
He left them alone to enjoy each other’s company.
* * *
Elliot watched Farlden leave. “He still doesn’t believe that I’m on your side, does he?”
Barve added spaghetti to a saucepan of boiling water. “He’ll come around. Why don’t you go and talk to him? There isn’t anything else to do here.”
Approaching an angry Farlden seemed like trying to have a friendly conversation with a rampaging bull, but Elliot didn’t want to seem like a coward, so he did as Barve suggested. Perhaps he wouldn’t find Farlden, he thought hopefully.
He walked into the darkness outside, the air filled with the scent of plants, trees and damp earth, and nearly collided with a girl who was standing wiping her eyes. The lamp outside the building confirmed that her face was red and blotchy. He had never spoken to her before, but had seen her around the residential halls a number of times.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Has someone upset you?”
“No.” She gave him a watery smile. “I’m just home-sick. You know what it’s like.”
“Right.” His own feelings on the subject were ambivalent: he loved his family and wanted to do well here and make them proud of him, but it was liberating being able to make his own decisions about his life like an adult. So, while he did miss them, he felt as if he had reached a point in his life where he needed to be alone. Realising he hadn’t answered her, he ventured, “Half-term is only five weeks away so you can see them then.”
“Oh, they’re driving down to spend a weekend with me in a couple of weeks but I just get upset when I speak to them, because it’s so limiting. I’m used to talking over every part of my life with them. You can’t imagine how difficult it is now.”
He tried to picture telling his parents his every thought and, she was right: he really couldn’t imagine it. They would never forgive him if they ever realised how little his own dreams for his life matched theirs. “I guess it’s part of growing up,” he said lamely.
“I suppose so. Thanks for the talk – I feel better now. I’m Barb.”
“Elliot,” he said. “I’ll see you around then.”
“Yes.” She blew her nose once more. “Bye.” She walked inside and a dark figure moved into the light, revealing itself as Farlden.
“Is she all right?”
“She misses her family,” Elliot said. “Do you?”
“Yeah, sometimes. We phone our parents most days but it’s weird waking up here and coming back here at the end of the day instead of going home. Don’t worry, though: I’m not going to start sobbing over you or anything.”
He laughed. “I never thought you would.” He looked up at the stars. “It’s a weird thing to say but I don’t really know my family all that well. We’ve all just always tended to do our own thing.”
“You’re not close to your brother?”
“God, no. I don’t think anyone actually likes Jasper. But it’s nice that you and Barve get along. I envy you a bit having someone you can always rely on, not that I don’t have plenty of friends, but it’s not quite the same.”
“We’ve always done everything together. He couldn’t have survived this place without me.”
Elliot wasn’t convinced that Farlden’s bad moods and surly comments in any way helped Barve fit in, but he didn’t say so. It was obvious that Farlden still didn’t trust or like him, but Elliot had no idea what he could say to change that opinion.
They stood outside together, the silence between them growing increasingly uncomfortable, until it was time to go in for dinner.