Shelley
I arrive at Lily Loves fifteen minutes late and Betty, to say the least, has a face on her like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
‘I’m ever so sorry, Betty! You should have just closed up and put a sign on the door,’ I say to her. ‘The traffic coming out of the city was insane for this time of the week and my phone battery died so I couldn’t ring ahead. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.’
Eliza hurries in behind me before Betty can open her mouth and she automatically takes over.
‘Blame me, don’t blame Shelley,’ she says to Betty who already had her coat on when I arrived and is trying to get out the door. ‘I insisted we went for a walk on the Prom and we lost track of time and then the traffic. Are you okay, Betty? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?’
I don’t think that Betty and I have ever had a proper conversation about anything that didn’t involve the shop so to see her now in such a fluster just because I am fifteen minutes late is a bit of a shocker. I’m more than glad to let Eliza, who’s known her for years, take over. Betty was at our wedding as a guest of Eliza, she was even at Lily’s christening and she never missed buying her a birthday present. And yet, apart from being much appreciative of her work in the shop, I realize I barely know the woman at all.
‘I just need to go to town myself and get some stuff for my …’ she says, trailing off and straightening up a little, or should I say, calming down. ‘It was busy today, Shelley. I’ve left the usual note for you explaining any sales and just a general overview of the morning.’
‘Thank you,’ I respond.
Eliza steps aside at last and lets the poor woman out, but as soon as she steps outside, she’s back again.
‘Shelley, before I go,’ she says. ‘Do you know a young girl, a teenager, dark hair, pretty but wears a lot of make up? She was looking for you.’
‘Ah yes, that must be Rosie,’ I say with a smile. ‘Did she call in while you were here?’
Betty has that strange look about her again.
‘She did,’ she tells me. ‘Is she a friend of yours? A relative of yours?’
‘No, no she’s here on holiday,’ I explain. ‘Any message from her? I’m sure she’ll text me if she needs me for anything important. And now that I think of it, I’d better plug in my phone. She might have been trying to get me for something.’
I go behind the counter and do just that. Hearing that Rosie was looking for me gives a sense of urgency that I can’t explain. Maybe it’s the feeling of being needed by someone? The feeling of being able to give to someone something that comes with just being me?
‘Here on holiday? Oh, is she?’ says Betty and she glances at Eliza and then back to me as if she doesn’t believe me. ‘No, no message from her as such. She just said to tell you that she called to say hi and that was it. Off she left in a blaze of makeup and perfume that I didn’t recognise.’
‘Thank you, Betty,’ I smile at my ever so courteous shop assistant as she makes her way outside again. I honestly have never known her to be so curious.
‘And sorry again for being late!’ shouts Eliza, then she mumbles under her breath to me. ‘God forbid if she’s late home to feed her bloody well cats. Honestly, was there any need for that look on her face? Is she always like that? You know, you think you know someone!’
‘Never,’ I say to my mother-in-law and I am telling the truth. ‘She is never like that. She did look a bit shaken though, didn’t she? I do hope she’s okay and that I wasn’t taking the mick by being late. I’d hate to have to come in here in the mornings now that I’ve discovered brunching and walking the Prom when the rest of the world is working.’
‘And why would you when you don’t have to?’ asks Eliza. ‘Take it easy, Shelley. You’re not out of the woods just yet, love.’
Eliza tilts her head to the side and watches me as I fix clothes on the rails in my little boutique, the only haven where I can seem to occupy my mind completely. I feel her stare and the warmth of her smile on me as I go to the counter where I read down Betty’s list of notes from the morning. Betty always writes down how many customers called in and at what time and she makes a note of what was sold even though I can tell all that by balancing my till receipts with stock.
Customer 1 – 9.35 am – browsed, didn’t try on, didn’t buy.
Customer 2 – 10.05 – bought scarf and green wrap dress, said she would be back for more. Said she would tweet about it also.
Customer 3 – came in as customer 2 was trying on. Bought denim jacket and said the smell reminded her of her father. Strange fish. Didn’t like her.
Customer 4 – just before lunch, teenager, English accent. Not a customer after all. Asking for you.
And so it goes on, but then I freeze at what she has scribbled on a different piece of paper that I don’t think she meant to leave behind, and my stomach goes sick.
‘What is it?’ asks Eliza, noticing my sudden change in mood. That woman could pick up energies from anywhere in the world and I’m not kidding.
‘Nothing,’ I say to her with a deep breath. I lean across the counter to cover Betty’s note and I force a smile as my stomach rips into shreds. ‘Nothing at all. Thank you so much for today, Eliza. It was just what I needed and lots more. I had a great day, thank you so much. You’re such a star to me.’
But Eliza is not one bit convinced.
‘You know you can tell me anything, Shelley’ she says, unconvinced. ‘Is there something going on that’s worrying you? Are you missing Matt? Did you have a row or something?’
I stand up straight and shake my head.
‘No, no, I’m fine, I really am fine,’ I tell her. ‘Now run along or you’ll be late for your committee meeting,’
She gasps as she remembers that she is meant to be at the Cancer Research Society AGM in ten minutes.
‘And thank you again for today!’ I call after her. ‘I owe you lunch or dinner soon!’
She waves without looking back and mutters to me as she leaves but I have no idea what she is saying. Then she is gone in a blaze of perfume and positivity and I look down at Betty’s note and try and make sense of it all, but I have no idea what it means. Or do I? No. I don’t want to go backwards, I can’t go backwards. I feel my breath shortening so I take out my phone and I call the first person I think of who can make me feel better.
I call Juliette and the second she answers, I scrunch up Betty’s scribble and I throw it in the bin.
‘Juliette, it’s Shelley,’ I say and I close my eyes when I hear the now familiar sound of her voice. ‘What are you guys up to today?’
Juliette
It is so good to hear Shelley’s voice and I can honestly say that she has perked up quite a bit, even on the phone, from the downbeat shell of a girl I only met a few days ago.
‘Shelley! So lovely to hear from you. We have plans to go sailing soon around the cliffs with Leo, and I’m really looking forward to it, as is Rosie. How was your morning? I bet you were tired after yesterday.’
‘I was tired to be honest but I was also feeling very energised and positive afterwards, especially today,’ she says to me. ‘So much so that you will never believe what I did today. I’ve been itching to tell you!’
I am intrigued. ‘Go on?’ I say to her.
‘I actually pushed myself and went to Galway this morning with my mother-in-law,’ she says. ‘And we had a wonderful time shopping and brunching and people watching. I know to most people that’s an everyday thing but I’m so out of touch with real life and I know that you’ll understand how big a leap it was for me to do that.’
I take a deep breath. ‘You’re a champ,’ I tell her. ‘I’m so proud of you. Keep taking these baby steps, Shelley. I can see your glow is starting to return and we need to keep fanning those flames.’
Shelley’s newfound positivity, as simple as it may sound to an outsider, is music to my ears. I shudder to think of what she must go through every morning when she wakes up, especially this week when her husband is gone.
‘So, did you buy anything nice?’ I ask her, looking at my nails as I speak and reminding myself that I really do need to take more care of my appearance. ‘I’m hoping to take Rosie shopping tomorrow, all being well. I’m sure Galway was buzzing today, was it?’
‘Of course it was,’ says Shelley. ‘It always is this time of year. It was nice to get away from here for a change of scenery, but …’
I wait for her to continue.
‘Are you there, Shelley?’
‘Yes, yes I’m here,’ she says much to my relief. ‘Oh, there are no buts at all about a morning in Galway, Juliette. Just ignore me. It was lovely and it was nice to spend some time with Eliza. She’s such a darling and makes me feel good from the inside out. I should really be in her company more. She’s so different to my own mother and of course no one can ever take my mother’s place, but she’s got my back and I feel safe with her. I need to do things with her more often, for both of our sakes.’
I want to hug her and cheer her on even more. She has so much more to give to her life and she is finally starting to see that.
‘That is so good to hear,’ I tell her and I really mean it. I am sitting on a picnic bench across from the cottage watching the boats come in and out from their day’s fishing as I wait for Rosie to get her stuff together and if Shelley hadn’t called, I’d probably have ended up moping or weeping and feeling sorry for myself. I keep thinking, or should I say, worrying about Dan and wondering if it was a good idea to leave him out of this trip when I know it would have done him the world of good to get some time away from reality. If only he would get sober enough to make that decision easier.
‘It’s a pity you’re at work, as it’s such a beautiful day outside. I’m not sure this good spell is meant to last so I’m lapping it up while I can. Tell me, do you think you’ll be busy all day?’
She pauses. ‘I’m not sure, why?’
‘I was going to suggest you pack up for the day and come and join us? You’ve had a great day, the sun is shining. I think you should come and have some more fun when the going is good.’
‘You always have the best ideas, Juliette,’ she tells me, brightening a little more. ‘Life is too short for shit, isn’t that what you told me the other day?’
I shrug and laugh in response. I can’t remember if I did say that, but what’s new there lately? According to Rosie, I’ve the worst memory ever, after all.
‘I may have said that at some stage,’ I say to Shelley with a giggle. ‘I tend to spew out lots of little mottos now that I’m on death’s door so don’t feel the need to take all of them seriously.’
‘I’m going to finish up here right now,’ Shelley announces. ‘I’ll put a note on the door and I’ll go out and get some of that sunshine on my face. I am going to miss you when you leave here you know that, Juliette! You are like flames under my feet every morning, like the push that I’ve needed for so long. I’ll never forget you for it.’
Well, I feel honoured at that and I remember Sarah’s words from earlier when she said we had helped Shelley so much, then a wave of fear overcomes me when I think of how she might be after we leave. She will never see me again, yet I am not sure she is even thinking that way. When I leave here, I will be leaving to die.
‘You can come and join us if you want?’ I suggest again, wondering if she is wanting me to say what she is already thinking and hoping that I can keep her spirits up for a bit longer before I do go. ‘I don’t want to pressure you, but the invitation is there and you would be very welcome. I think Rosie is your number one fan so she would be delighted.’
I hear Shelley breathe in and out again. I breathe in and out again. I am tired, more tired than I will ever admit, and it’s starting to gnaw at my bones and although I’ve been denying it to myself, I am light-headed and dizzy more often than I’m not these days.
‘Ah, that would be such a perfect way to spend the afternoon. Are you sure you don’t mind?
‘Of course I don’t mind!’ I tell her. ‘We’d both love to have you come along!’
She asks me where I am right now and I explain my exact location.
‘I’m directly across from the cottage, sitting on a picnic bench with the wind in my hair and looking like I haven’t a care in the world,’ I tell her, trying to force mind over matter. ‘All I need is a glass of something bubbly and I’ll be sorted.’
‘Well if that’s the case, don’t move an inch and I’ll join you very soon,’ says Shelley. ‘I’ll just pop home and get changed and … oh, I don’t have my car with me today. Ah, maybe I’m being too spontaneous and irrational. I’ll just—’
‘Go!’ I tell her. ‘Walk up to the house now and drive back to me with whatever it is you need to take with you for the afternoon. Rosie is just starting to get ready so you know how long that will take and our excursion isn’t due to take off for another twenty-five minutes. We have time. Don’t change your mind! Go!’
‘Perfect,’ says Shelley. ‘That’s just what I needed to hear. I’m going.’
‘That’s it, Shelley,’ I tell her. ‘I want you to always remember something.’
She pauses. ‘Of course? What is it?’
‘Always make the most of the sunshine, in any way you can,’ I tell her. ‘I want you to promise me that when I leave here, you will always look for the sunshine even in your darkest days. Always look for the rainbow and you’ll find it. Try not to focus on the dark.’
‘I will, I promise,’ whispers Shelley. ‘You’ve made me realize that there is sunshine in every day if we open our eyes and look for it. You’re an inspiration and I’ll never forget you.’
When I’m gone, she means. She doesn’t say it but I hear her finish the sentence in the silence. And then she hangs up the phone before I get a chance to say goodbye. I tilt my head back and up to the sun and I marvel at the warmth on my face, the brightness when I close my eyes. I’m feeling very tired today but I won’t let it beat me. I won’t let my sunshine days be over just yet.
Shelley and Leo, who is taking us out on his private boat, walk down the hill towards me together, chatting harmoniously, and I instantly realize that everyone knows everyone around here. This warmth of Irish village life is what I fell in love with all those years ago – the camaraderie, the community spirit, the knowledge that help and support is only ever a little while away was what I had dreamed of experiencing in my own everyday life. And yes there are the gossips, the whispers and the ‘do-gooders’ but all in all, that security and simplicity of everyone knowing your name is something that always appealed to me over living in a large anonymous city where your neighbour is a stranger.
‘Shelley tells me she’ll be joining us,’ says Leo with a hearty smile. ‘You must be Juliette?’
I shake Leo’s hand and his firm greeting almost takes my arm out of my socket but what else would I expect from a sailor like him. His arms are muscular and strong and his weather-beaten face is open and friendly. I like him instantly.
‘Shelley, I am so freakin’ excited!’ says Rosie and to my delight and surprise, Shelley puts her arm around my daughter. There is a glow around the people here and yes, they have suffered with loss and tragedy like any corner of the world, but I adore how they reach out to each other and to strangers and visitors alike. Seeing that Rosie can be loved by people like Shelley, who has only known her for a few days, reassures me that life for my daughter will indeed go on when I’m no longer here.
‘You will love it,’ says Shelley. ‘This is Rosie, Leo. She’s fallen in love with Killara, I think.’
She’s fallen in love with Shelley, I want to say and I don’t mean that in any way other than that my daughter is mesmerised by Shelley and all they have in common, not to mention her dog and her magnificent home and shop, and how she arranged for us both to go horse-riding yesterday plus how she has been a confidante since finding her on the sand dunes on Saturday.
‘Well, we can’t blame you for that, young lady,’ says Leo and he gives me a wink and a smile. ‘When people come to Killara on holiday, they always come back or else they simply stay, don’t they Shelley?’
Shelley nods in agreement.
‘I came here on holiday and I ended up staying forever,’ says Shelley and a pang of remorse shoots at me like a dart. I wish I had done the same thing, now. I could have had such a beautiful, peaceful life by the sea just like I had always dreamed of and maybe, who knows, things would have worked out differently for me in many ways.
‘I want to keep coming back here forever,’ says Rosie, linking both Shelley and I by the arm. ‘I don’t even want to think about going home. Mum, can we just stay here forever?’
I give her arm a squeeze. Forever is a long time, or so the saying goes but just how long is my forever? Days? Weeks? A few months? I wish so much that we could all press pause right now and make my forever last, to give me a chance of making sure she will be okay, to talk to her and tell her all the things that I need her to know before I go. Focus, I remind myself. Live in the present, not the past. No regrets. Sometimes though, it’s not that easy.
‘So, if you want to follow me further down the pier then, ladies,’ says Leo, ‘I’m going to be your captain, or your skipper if you like, on this very exclusive boat trip, and on today’s excursion you will see, all being well, some of the Atlantic’s finest landmarks and also some of its most exclusive wildlife.’
Rosie gives us both a squeeze now.
‘Excited dot com!’ she says to all three of us. ‘This is going to be unreal!’
‘And so you should be, young lady. Let’s hope the puffins come out to play or maybe even a whale if we’re lucky,’ says Leo and I think my child is about to levitate with excitement.
‘I have a feeling they will,’ says Shelley. ‘They normally like to peep out and say hello to new faces. I have a good feeling about today.’
I am still fluttering inside from when Leo used the word ‘skipper’ but Shelley doesn’t seem to have noticed. Maybe it’s nerves, or maybe it’s just sadness for the man who fathered my child, but I feel a bit sick right now, not to mention these dizzy spells, and if it wasn’t for Rosie’s enthusiasm and the fact that I had made such a big deal of today and this boat trip, I’d gladly sit this one out.
‘Are you okay, Juliette?’ Shelley asks me. ‘You look a bit pale all of a sudden.’
‘Oh don’t tell me you’re seasick already, Mum,’ laughs Rosie, but I can see that she is worried inside. ‘Mum?’
‘I’m fine! Ship ahoy!’ I say to both of them and I put both my thumbs up. Then we each take Leo’s hand in turn and step on the boat, and follow his health and safety instructions as we put on our life jackets. A dull pain kicks in at the back of my head as we set sail but I don’t want to ruin this moment by mentioning it. I’m fine. Maybe if I keep saying those two words out loud, I will actually be fine. But I am not of course and I will never be fine. This pain, has come on so strong today and the tiredness is exhausting me, and I’m not fine. I am scared. I am absolutely terrified. Please don’t let this happen to me already. I’m not ready yet. I don’t want to die, please don’t let me die!
‘I hope you’ve more sea-legs than your husband, Shelley,’ says Leo and Shelley rolls her eyes at what is obviously a long running joke to the locals about Matt and his intolerance of all things boat-related.
‘I’m like a child in a sweet shop,’ says Shelley back to him. ‘This is one of my favourite things to do in the whole wide world. Let’s go, Leo! Aye, aye captain!’
And at that we are off and I look behind as we sail out at speed onto the bay and leave Killara and all its colourful brightness in the distance, including Brannigan’s with its green walls and its loaded memories.
I honestly don’t feel so good but I cannot let this sickness take over me now. I close my eyes and let the speed of the wind and the splashes of the water waken my senses and I thank God for how good it is to be alive.
Shelley
‘Rosie! Juliette! Look, the puffins!’
Rosie is practically Leo’s best friend by now as we sail out onto the choppier waters, far from Killara and the stillness of the bay. The cliffs come into view and I do think that Rosie is going to jump out of her skin with excitement at the majestic sight and I look around to make sure that Juliette is taking everything in, but she doesn’t seem to be enjoying it as much as her daughter, or as much as she herself believed she would.
‘Juliette, you don’t look well,’ I say to her over the sound of the boat’s motor and the spray that comes off the water. ‘Are you cold? I should have said to you that it gets a bit nippy when you sail out this far.’
I sit beside her and look at her face which is more ashen in colour than the usual shade of green that comes with seasickness.
‘Ssh,’ she says to me, nodding up towards Rosie who is bending Leo’s ear with questions about puffins and whales and dolphins and the like. ‘I don’t want to ruin this for her. What an absolute treat on the eyes. It’s amazing.’
I follow her eyeline up to the cliffs as Leo sails in as close as he can get to the famous Cliffs of Moher. Larger tour boats from County Clare sail ahead of us but Leo skirts in more intimately than they ever could and I marvel at how no matter how many times I have made this trip during my time in this part of the world, it always takes my breath away.
‘It’s the most beautiful country in the world,’ says Juliette and she looks up in awe at the wondrous view. ‘I always loved Ireland. I feel so at home here, isn’t that strange?’
I look at her knowing exactly what she means. I’ve heard it so many times from tourists who come into my shop and who absorb everything about our homeland in a way that we locals never do, as we can often take it for granted.
‘Juliette, a part of you will always be here, you know that,’ I whisper to her and when I look into her eyes I can see that she is crying. I link her arm, just as Rosie did with us both earlier and she leans her tired head on my shoulder.
‘I need to see Dan,’ she says to me. ‘I miss him.’
‘Of course you do,’ I say to my new, oh so brave friend. She has just a few more days in Killara and then she will be gone from here, then gone forever and I dread the thought of it, but something tells me that Juliette will never be far from me or from here. She has touched something within me, she has lit a spark inside me that has brought me to life and that won’t just go away no when we’re apart. I feel stronger for knowing her and I don’t think that the part of her that is now within me will ever really go
‘Look at Rosie, Juliette,’ I whisper. ‘Look at how this place suits her so well. There is a part of this place in her blood, can’t you see it?’
Juliette nods and smiles through her tears as we both watch Rosie who can’t decide if it’s more important to watch through her own eyes what she is experiencing or via her phone as she snaps everything she wants to share with her friends.
‘She is loving every moment of it and I have you to thank for so much of what she’s experienced so far,’ Juliette says. ‘These are the days she will remember the most, I hope.’
‘And there’s more to come,’ I say to her. ‘Would you mind if I cook for you both tonight?’
Juliette’s eyes widen in delight. ‘At your place or ours? That would be a real treat!’
‘I’ll come to you if you don’t mind,’ I tell her. ‘It’s cosier and at least you can slip off to rest if you want to. I’ll bring all the ingredients and cook a nice supper.’
‘Deal,’ says Juliette, and she leans her head on my shoulder again. I can tell she is slowing down by the look on her face. Something has changed, like her spark is slowly flickering. She looks tired, a little paler and the way she reaches out to me physically to lean on me or to just hold my hand as we sail along tells me that she is scared inside. I look out onto the water and fight back tears as the reality of losing Juliette when I have only just found her hits me properly for the first time. I need to help make her final days in Killara as comfortable and special as I can so that she knows how much I appreciate her. My next plan for them both needs to kick into place as soon as possible. I am excited and moved at the very thought of it.
I arrive as promised armed with a wicker basket full of local produce at Juliette’s cottage later that evening and make my way to the kitchen, ordering Juliette to rest up on the sofa while Rosie and I get stuck into supper.
‘Do you like spag bol?’ I call into her. She is snuggled up under a fleecy throw in her pyjamas and Rosie, who is also in her pyjamas, is on cloud nine because as well as cooking up a storm in the kitchen we are also cooking up a plan of our own.
‘It’s my favourite dish ever,’ shouts Juliette and Rosie gives me a high five. We have so got this.
‘I told you it was her favourite,’ she says to me. ‘She loves anything Italian, especially the men, ha!’
‘Good taste! So, did you think about what I asked you earlier?’ I ask as she chops onions beside me like the perfect little assistant.
‘Yes, I have the playlist made,’ she tells me in a whisper. ‘It’s all ready to go. I have Prince on there, some INXS, a few Meatloaf tracks and what was the other one you told me to find?’
‘Wake Me Up Before You Go Go?’ I suggest.
‘That’s the one,’ she says. ‘Yes, I just Googled ‘80s classics and most of what you thought Mum might like came up, so all I need now is the you-know-what and that was your part of the bargain.’
I smile at Rosie and signal at her to throw the onions into the pan and soon, with a touch of garlic and oregano, some salt, black pepper, green peppers and mushrooms as well as mince and tomato sauce, we are almost ready to serve – with spaghetti, a sprinkle of parmesan and a basil leaf on top.
‘Voila!’ I say to Rosie. ‘Take that in to your mum.’
‘That’s French,’ she corrects me and I shrug. What’s a language blooper between friends?
We tuck in to our taste of Italy in front of the evening’s soap operas and just after our food has settled and the plates almost licked after a day at sea, and when we are totally assured there is nothing more on the TV that catches our attention, Rosie makes her excuse to use the bathroom. I take this as my cue, just as we had arranged and when she comes back in, I am all ready for action.
‘What the …?’
Juliette looks confused and when Rosie presses play on her iPod and Prince’s ‘Kiss’ rocks through the living room, we are all in stitches laughing. Rosie is dressed in neon pink leggings, a ‘Choose Life’ t-shirt which I had kept from my days at roller discos in the north, obligatory yellow leg warmers and a Toyah Wilcox style spikey wig. She takes her mother’s hands and gently pulls her up off the sofa.
‘Come on, Mum!’ shouts Rosie. ‘This is another of your favourite things!’
‘Man, I loved Prince!’ shouts Juliette. ‘Turn it up!’
And I do just that.
You don’t have to be rich they sing at the top of their voices and as they dance, I take in the joy on their faces and my heart melts when they hold hands. Finally, I take notice of their feet as they dance together to the music, laughing and singing and dancing like no one is watching. The music booms through the air, leaving no room for any other sound and Juliette, as physically difficult as it seems to be after such a long day, is really giving it her all as she boogies along with her baby girl.
‘Kiss!’ they shout together and punch the air as if it was rehearsed, then Juliette pulls Rosie in for a hug. She gives her a big kiss on the cheek and Rosie does the same back.
Once again, I feel that old familiar twinge when I think that this could have been me with my own mother a few years into the past, or me and my Lily a few years into the future, if life wasn’t so cruel. And life is being cruel here too, I remind myself. As happy as this moment is, every day I see them together will always be tinged with sadness at what is still to come.
The song choice moves on to some retro Madonna with ‘Papa Don’t Preach’ and Juliette whoops with delight, then swaps her own wig with Rosie’s more exciting version and they beckon me to join them with Juliette taking the TV remote control as her makeshift microphone.
‘I had no idea what this song was about when it was released!’ she bellows over the music. ‘But I freakin’ loved it!’
Rosie bops along beside me, enjoying every moment whether she knows the songs or not.
‘Good job, DJ!’ I mouth to her with a thumbs-up and she looks up at her mum who is totally lost in the music and I see the tears glisten in Rosie’s eyes.
They are dancing together with sheer freedom, this dying woman in her pyjamas and a punk style wig and her teenage daughter who has totally jumped into character just to make her mother laugh and sing out loud.
She is seeing Juliette as a person in her own right now, and not just her dying mother. She is seeing a person with a past, with old memories that came before Rosie existed, a person with hopes and dreams that were formed before she was even born. I wish I had taken the time to recognize my own mother as just that.
But most of all I wished we had danced together just like Rosie and Juliette are doing right now here in front of me. And even better, I wish that someone would have captured it on camera so that I could treasure it forever, just like I have done for these two beautiful people who have done more for my healing than they will ever know. I hit record and catch every moment of it and I can’t wait to see their faces when they look back on it. A perfect memory of happy times, for Rosie to hold on to and cherish forever and for Juliette to smile back on for however long she has left in this life.