ELLIOT

I sat down by the beach, in the cove … watching, hoping I would see her sooner or later. At first I walked around aimlessly, trying to find her. I checked out the joggers and the sunbathers, the groups of people running in and out of the water trying to dodge the waves. I even scanned the brave souls out there trying to navigate their surfboards. I remembered years ago I started teaching Emily. She tried … really tried. We went at it for hours and she swallowed so much saltwater. She didn’t give up until she was literally exhausted. She was so pissed off that she couldn’t master surfing in a few short days. I explained it took a lot of practice to learn to surf but she wouldn’t give up. She reminded me of a Pitbull puppy trying to fit an oversized bone through a small opening. Pure stubbornness. I assured her we had lots of time and she would get the hang of it.

I wondered if she ever tried to surf again.

Evening was approaching when I finally walked the path up to the street, the sun dipping lower to the west causing the shadows to grow longer behind the rocks. It was there I heard the sound of her laughter. I glanced up toward the cottages along the road, overlooking the ocean, and she was right there, her back to me, those wild curls blowing carelessly in the breeze, wine glass in her hand, one level up on a balcony. Her laughter sounded like a symphony. I wanted to pull up a chair and listen to her music. There were others laughing with her, two that I could see, but it was the sound of Emily’s voice calling out to me. I wanted to stand here forever, memorizing her song, but I was afraid of being seen and looking like a lovesick fool.

I made my way back down to the rocks where I could sit and watch her without being seen. I wasn’t ready to risk rejection just yet. I was content to just watch her and dream. They seemed to be having a great time. I could smell the spicy aroma of the steaks they had on the grill, onion and garlic mixed with the scent of meat cooking. Sound traveled by the water so I caught bits and pieces of the conversation traveling back and forth between them. I wished I were sitting there enjoying the beautiful night, too. The sound of laughter made me feel even lonelier for Emily. The desire I had to hold her in my arms again was an ache that wouldn’t go away. It just kept growing the more I thought of her and the more I saw of her while I kept myself hidden.

My mind kept drifting back seven years ago to a time before everything was so screwed up, before I screwed it up by walking away. I was such a boy, a scared, selfish child. I threw away the one person in my life I wanted more than anything. I didn’t think about how young Emily was or her past, her fear of love and commitment. I only thought about my needs and what I wasn’t getting from her. I’d learned patience since then. I’d need it if I found the courage to pursue her. But this time, I wanted it to be the last time. I wanted this woman in my life until I was old and grey. I wanted to be able to wake up next to her for the next fifty years or more.

My thoughts were interrupted abruptly as the sound of familiar laughter came closer. I glanced up in time to see three women in long sundresses making their way down to the beach, lifting their hemlines so they would not trip along the rocks that lined the pathway. It was all I could do to stop myself from jumping up to help them.

I watched as they navigated around the rocks, assisting one another and stepping to the edge of the ocean.

Taking each other’s hands, they let out a shout and ran into the water screaming and splashing like excited children experiencing the water for the first time. Emily held her hair on top of her head as she turned her body in circles, dancing with the waves, the water soaking her dress. The wet fabric clung to her body, molding to her, enveloping her like the caress of a lover. I wanted to be that lover.

It took every ounce of restraint I possessed not to go to her, my need growing and my patience evaporating. Yet I was reluctant to break the spell of the vision right in front of me.

A story began to come to life in my mind as I watched Emily and her friends play in the water, a much different kind of story than my usual mystery of savagery and death. This one, a story of friendship and the strength gained from it, a love story with a perfect ending. The ending that I wanted with Emily.

As scenes danced around in my head, I scrambled up, shaking off the sand from my legs. I needed to write it down, create a written photograph so I wouldn’t forget anything scrolling through my mind. I knew where she was staying and I knew she was with her girlfriends. It eased the jealousy that had reared up earlier. I could come back later and hopefully by then, I would have the courage to approach her, to say hello.

I turned back to look at Emily one last time before I ran home. They were standing there in the surf, arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders, clothes soaking wet, watching the sun dip low on the horizon. Emily was in the middle, her long curly hair blowing back over her shoulders, her head lifted upward, the breeze in her face. I had never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life. These three women had a peace about them I wanted. They didn’t care who was watching them. They seemed to embrace life, live it, and thoroughly enjoy every moment of it. They appeared confident and strong, but most importantly, they appeared happy.

I made my way back home and went to my computer as soon as I came through the door. I stayed there until the early hours of the morning, my fingers never ceasing their dance upon the keyboard. The story was coming to me almost faster than I could get it down. I took a few breaks, walking out onto the deck to stare at the waves making their way into land. It was pitch black outside; even the stars were asleep. A few stray beams of light along the pathways gave glimpses of the white froth on top of the waves as they moved. It was quiet except for the sound of the surf crashing along the beach and the occasional moan of a restless sea lion slumbering on the beach.

I finally fell asleep close to dawn, accomplishing more in this new story than in the one I’d worked on for months.

I just needed a few hours of rest before I went to see Emily. My courage grew along with my word count. This time I was going to approach her. I really was. I needed to.